.:: BATTLE FOR HEGEMONY:XTRACTION [LIVE] ::.
Jan 15, 2023 19:00:03 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Dave D-Flipz, and 3 more like this
Post by Dylan on Jan 15, 2023 19:00:03 GMT -5
THE XHF NETWORK PRESENTS:
JANUARY 15TH, 2022
LIVE FROM THE BALL ARENA IN DENVER, COLORADO
(Capacity: 18,000 | Attendance : 20000(WE BUILT MORE SEATS))
LIVE FROM THE BALL ARENA IN DENVER, COLORADO
(Capacity: 18,000 | Attendance : 20000(WE BUILT MORE SEATS))
BOOM! POW! POP! Lights swirl and the beat kicks in as "(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party)" by Beastie Boys, the official song for Battle of Hegemony, belts out from the PA! The fans are in full force as we're on the Road to Supremacy and everyone is excited for the action! We swing to the commentary desk, where Hawke sits next to Randy, a small selection of alcoholic beverages seated beside him.
Hawke: It is time for the first-ever premium live event of the year! Welcome everyone to Battle for Hegemony!
Randy: *burps* We're here to fight out who gets to fight that CHEAT!
Hawke: The X*Crown Champion...
Randy: You know I had him dead to dang rights Hawke! Zoran clearly cheated! My shoulders weren't on the mat!
Hawke: Because of your... ugh. Tonight, four wrestlers will fight for the right to join X*Crown Champion Zoran Sainovic in a Kitchen Kaos match at Supremacy! These lineups are pretty sweet Randy.
Randy: Sure sure. On the one hand, you have certified maniac Poena, certified maniac Armand von Krauss, hardcore legend The Sheik, and the Broken Crown James Raymond!
Hawke: And on the other, two former two-time X*Crown Champions in Dylan Black and Steve Awesome, Bone Cold Raiden Ishimori, and... someone named Copycat.
Randy: Only the best wrestler to grace the AWF!
Hawke: Those two teams will battle it out in a classic XHF match tonight. An Xtraction match! Only the greatest original BDDWF-slash-XHF match ever!
Randy: It's going to be a warzone! It's gonna be a bloodbath! I can't wait!
Hawke: Before we get to the marquee match of the evening we have a few messages from our competitors this evening.
Randy: [expletive] YOU ZORAN! YOUR BUTT BELONGS *hiccup* TO OFF THE WAGON! YOU BELONG TO SUPER SAKE!
Hawke: Hashtag, the heat is real.
Production Assistant: Are you lost little boy?
Tinto the CAR Orphan: No, I am here to challenge Riley Richards for the European Championship.
Production Assistant: This is a one-match show. Are you sure you weren’t separated from your mother?
Tinto the CAR Orphan: I was miss, when my sainted mother passed away and went to hell, I could not join her. So I wander the arena, wondering why Riley Richards won’t give me a European Championship shot. The big bully.
Production Assistant: Um, if you want to challenge wrestlers they have a separate event for-
Tinto the CAR Orphan: Will Rob Arnold face me at Supremacy?
Production Assistant: You’d have to ask at-
Tinto the CAR Orphan: Why does Rob Arnold fear me?
The small child tries to do a cartwheel to show off his amazing athletic prowess. Emphasis on try. The production assistant leaves the little boy to his tears, as another questionable character walks through that needs to be stopped.
Production Assistant: Are they expecting-
Florida Man: Hells to the nah. No one expects the leader of SKY FORCE to show up, it’s part of our charm, oh yeah, I’m just doing a little fly by. Figured I’d cut a promo to let the fans know they should look forward to Your Friendly Neighbourhood Florida Man kicking Eron Hunter’s ass six ways from sunday for MY Junior Heavyweight Championship at Su-pre-mac!
Production Assistant: Actually J-RoK went with Rin Kubo as the challenge...
Florida Man: ..............Fucking Kira.
The gator isn’t just breaking the forth wall, and seems genuinely upset that he wasn't asked.
Florida Man: You mean after STEALING the DANG show last year, they expect Your Mother Lovin’ Florida Man to sit on the sidelines? As we say in this gator’s Sky Force, that shit don’t FLY yo!
Tinto the CAR Orphan: Mister Man, can I have a shot at your YTA title?
Having been screwed out of that belt at the end of the year, the request is a sore subject.
Florida Man: Sure kid.
5000 thumbtacks of Death
Florida Man vs. Tinto the CAR Orphan
Production Assistant: Sorry, you two can’t wrestle here, this is a one-match show!
Tinto the CAR Orphan: PLEASE! I’ll eat all my dinner – even the vegetables!
Production Assistant: Sorry.
Florida Man: It will be ridiculously quick. I promise.
Production Assistant: No, if you had a match then we’d have to let everyone have a match. Did you see the Oh Violent Night undercard? Things got out of hand.
Florida Man: This is ridiculous. What show is this anyway?
Production Assistant: The Battle for Hegemony.
Tinto the CAR Orphan: What’s a Hegemony?
Florida Man: Good question squirt... you see...
As Florida Man wrestles with defining the word Hegemony for Tinto, the show ended up having a second match after all.
Earlier in the day...
We cut backstage.
We aren’t in the usual interview area.
An unknown beautiful blonde woman is standing by.
Daisy Dollup: Hello everyone I am Daisy Dollup! I’m standing by with The Face of the Franchise; Steve Awesome!
Steve steps into the frame, dressed in his ring gear and ready for action. Though, Steve can’t help but check out the body of the interviewer.
Steve Awesome: Daaamn girl. You must be new around here because I have definitely not seen you before.
Daisy smiles proudly and nods.
Daisy Dollup: This is my first interview with the company.
Steve nods his head in approval.
Steve Awesome: Well look at that. Your first gig and you get to work with the best of the best.
Daisy Dollup: I’m not sure how I got so lucky! But as the Xtraction main event continues to get closer, what starts to enter your mind?
Steve takes a deep breath.
Steve Awesome: Well to be honest Daisy, this is about the time when I let go of the insults and the jokes and I start to realize that I’m stepping into the ring with the best the network has to offer. I’m stepping into the ring with some blood thirty cut throats that will do anything it takes to win. Poena, Shiek, Armand, Raymond….
Steve nods his head.
Steve Awesome: Oh yeah they are tough. Hit lists a mile long. It’s been documented very nicely in there highlight reels, just how far they will go and what they will do to win.
He smiles.
Steve Awesome: But so will I. The only difference is, my “anything” gets results. These guys may be wild, vicious pack of dogs with the mentality of ripping us to shreds, but for twenty damn years I’ve been doing anything it takes, and instead of a highlight reel for sicko marks, I actually made a career out of doing whatever it takes.
Steve pulls his sunglasses off and looks into the camera. His face was electric with intensity.
Steve Awesome: Team Other Guys….Tonight in front of a SOLD OUT CROWD IN THE BALL, I’m going to kick all your asses and ENTERTAIN THE MASSES. Make no mistake about it, I’m coming to take my spot at Supremacy. I’m coming for the XCrown Championship. And I don’t care who I have to go through.
He crotch chops then smiles and the pretty blonde Daisy.
Steve Awesome: How’s that for a first interview?
Daisy Dollup: Very good! What about your issues with Rat Bastard? Are they going to cause problems going into the match?
Steve Awesome: Well first off you really just messed with a thing called pace there that was a perfect place to sign off, but I’ll tell you that drunk piece of shit Rat….
Suddenly out of the corner of his eye, Steve noticed a single Rat Trap lying on the floor nearby. It suddenly felt a lot more strange that he wasn’t in the usual interview spot and he has a brand new interviewer.
Steve slowly backs up but as soon as he turns around Rat Bastard is standing there and he blows liquor directly into Steve’s face. Steve rakes at his eyes as the liquor stings and blinds him.
Rat Bastard: Drunk piece of shit? Out on a bender eh? That really hurts. I thought you knew better of me, Steve.
Rat laughs and then is handed the nCw World Championship. The smile fades into a determined scowl as he aims his shot.
Rat Bastard: How about you “recover” from this…
Rat bashes Steve in the face with the nCw Title and he collapses to the floor. Blood poured from his forehead.
Rat Bastard: Alcoholic.
Rat spits down at his fallen former friend.
Rat Bastard: You want me at Supremacy? Come get it, bitch.
Rat steps over Steve’s prone body and walks away with the belt and Daisy.
Cut back to ringside.
Hawke: Well we definitely need some help back there for Steve Awesome but it looks like Rat Bastard has finally accepted Steve’s challenge for Supremacy!
Randy: I for one think Rat Bastard is a fine representative for New Championship Wrestling. I don’t know why Steve is so mad.
Narrator: A senseless tragedy.
SHOT: Ms. Wombat’s legs kicking like crazy as Dinosaur Bones scarfs her down in one bite.
Narrator: A family broken.
SHOT: The Wombat Octuplets looking to their heartbroken father, who is dressed as Santa Claus, asking him why Mommy isn’t home for the holidays.
Narrator: Does La Authentico Wombat have what it takes to put his wife to rest?
SHOT: Magnus and Zoran Sainovic arguing over the legal ramifications of signing a Wombat versus Bones match, and which would have to adopt the orphaned Wombat clan.
Narrator: Will Dinosaur Bones learn that revenge is a dish best served cold?
SHOT: The press conference.
L.A. Wombat: No, you will not see me taken over by the spirit of Venom in this match. I made a promise to my late wife. I can take this monster down without resorting to demonic possession...
Dinosaur Bones: IF YOU HAVE ANY MISSUS WOMBATS IN THE PANTRY I STRONGLY RECOMMEND HER WITH A SIDE OF LENTILS, AND A DASH OF PAPRIKA.
The press conference ends in fisticuffs, with a tail swipe knocking Wombat halfway across the hall.
Narrator: The stage is set for a bloodbath for the ages!
SHOT: Graphic of the marsupial and dracolich facing one another down.
GRUDGE MATCH
Dinosaur Bones (CAR) vs. L.A. Wombat (GUNS)
January 29th, 2023
SUPREMACY FED WARFARE
Only on Pay Per View
Dinosaur Bones (CAR) vs. L.A. Wombat (GUNS)
January 29th, 2023
SUPREMACY FED WARFARE
Only on Pay Per View
Light dazzles off a lapel pin which has been encrusted with twenty-two large diamonds – each representing one of the championships in the X*Crown. A hand reaches up and removes the pin, placing it in a heavy jewellery box. A black silk shirt comes off, replaced by the zebra stripes of authority. Getting changed used to be so much easier without the sling. After some struggle it slips on.
“Battle For Hegemony.”
The camera pulls out to find the Final Boss in a private changing room. Looking into a large mirror, Zoran Sainovic is decked out in his referee attire for the evening.
Zoran Sainovic: My event of choice. Our forth year. When ze Battle for Hegemony was first introduced, I was middle management for a federation zat never made waves on XHF’s global scene. Zat night I went from never wrestling on ze Network, to becoming a contender, and at ze very same Supremacy, champion.
Zoran Sainovic: Ze conflict for leadership – what voice will lead ze Network...
Zoran Sainovic: While ze word used for it might catch some flack from ze illiterate masses, don’t dismiss Hegemony as ze warm-up to Supremacy. Unlike Overheated, or Call to Arms, zis show stands on its own merits.
Zoran Sainovic: Tonight, we look to ze next locker room leaders of Xtreme, and ask zem to work together. To put aside zeir differences for ze greater good. Zat push and pull zat comes with true power…
Zoran Sainovic: Zough disappointed not to be included - zis marks ze first year I am not participating, I am pleased to have a ringside seat for your crowning moment. GUNS, J-ROK, CAR, REIGN, SCCW, TAP OUT, WRESTLE: UK, and HARDKORE WORLD...
Zoran Sainovic: Show us ze way.
Darkness on the Xtremetron.
The Heavy's "Big Bad Wolf" blasts over the PA system.
#With Time Slipping Away#
#I Can't Say What I'll Do...#
#You Got Nothing To Saaaaaaaaaaaay#
#'Til I Tell You Who's Whoooooooooooooo#
#You Know Why?#
#I Can't Say What I'll Do...#
#You Got Nothing To Saaaaaaaaaaaay#
#'Til I Tell You Who's Whoooooooooooooo#
#You Know Why?#
The arena is plunged into darkness before white spotlights search through the crowd - finally coming to a rest by the ramp. The flash of a blade draws attention to the entrance curtains, just as a scythe cuts them down. The X*Crown champion steps out into the arena, looking very much worse for wear. Bruised, battered, patched, and stitched in places in such a way you wonder if Zoran is really alive anymore or just a corpse piloted by bugs.
#Cos I'm The Big Bad Wolf#
#(What You Say)#
#I'm The Big Bad Wolf#
#(What You Say)#
#I'm The Big Bad Wolf#
#(What You Say)#
#I'm The Big Bad Wolf#
#(What You Say)#
#I'm The Big Bad Wolf#
One might wonder how a blind man could be a referee but the loss of one sense is proven to heighten the others. Making his way down the aisle, the GUNS commissioner has less garbage thrown at him – the audience is slightly terrified at the consequences of upsetting the boss.
#And I'm Blowing Down Your Neighbourhood#
Zoran uses the steps to enter the ring, greeted by a barrage of red and white streamers. As the Final Boss centers himself, a second volley of pyro is set off.
#I SAID#
#AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#
#AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#
Bonnie Jenkins: The following contest is an Xtraction match, where the winning team moves on to the main event of Supremacy! Entering the ring at this time, he is the reigning XHF X*Crown Champion. The Final Boss, and tonight's special guest referee. ZOOOORAAAAAAAN SAAAAAAAAAINOVIIIIIIIIIC!
Hawke: Zoran has certainly seen better days, but at least tonight he won't be in combat. He instead gets to
Randy: You know with Zoran reffing things are probably going to slide.
Hawke: Zoran has enemies on all sides of this ring. I have no clue why he agreed to this. He should have defended the X*Crown against Betsy Granger to wrap the AWF Prestige Championship into the X*Crown.
Randy: He's scared after the beating I gave him at Raison D'etre 3! He's afraid he won't retain all the way to Supremacy!
Hawke: He's defending it against Kanyon in a few days to wrap the FIRESIDE World Championship into it. I don't think he's afraid.
Randy: That scared son of a gun...
"Knights of Cydonia" by Muse plays. Immediately, Copycat runs toward the ring. He's wasting no time as he enters the ring in preparation for the start of the match.
Bonnie Jenkins: Now introducing first, representing CAR! He stands in at FIVE FEET TEN INCHES TALL and weighed in at a malnourished TWO HUNDRED AND EIGHT POUNDS! He is the Prince of Jobbertown; more commonly known as Toronto. He is COPYCAT!
Hawke: Now hold on, how could Mongo let a pregnant person enter a wrestling match?! Especially one of such Xtreme proportions!
Randy: He let Ember Ferrari into the Rumble in 2019 while she was pregnant.
Hawke: There's a pattern there but I can't pinpoint what the common denominator is...
All the lights in the arena die out and the fans in attendance start chanting his name.
Half The Crowd: AWE-SOME
Other Half: SUCKS!
Half The Crowd: AWE-SOME
Other Half: SUCKS!
Half The Crowd: AWE-SOME
Other Half: SUCKS!
Dramatic Pause.
REGRETS I'VE HAD MINE!
The lights in the arena explode to life as they flash green and black to the beat as Steve Awesome comes running out with intensity to the hyped-up chorus of "Full of Regrets" by Danko Jones.
Bonnie Jenkins: Making his way down to the ring, representing REIGN! He stands at SIX FEET TWO INCHES tall and weighed in at TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY-EIGHT POUNDS! From Detroit Michigan, he's the Face of the Franchise! He makes the ladies swoon and the men commune, he's STEEEEEEVE AWWWWWWWWWWWESOOOOOOOOOOOME!
Lonely nights, and a whole lot of wasted time!
If you see her won't you tell her for me
It's better this way to avoid all the misery!
If you see her won't you tell her for me
It's better this way to avoid all the misery!
The chorus plays again as Steve limps down to the ring. The guitar starts soloing and Steve hops into the ring. He tries to provocatively slip off his jacket but, feeling the effects of the attack from Rat earlier can't lean into it. He flexes his arms for the ladies and gets a slow-motion effect as pyro sprays behind him.
Randy: I can't believe that Rat Bastard beat Steve down earlier this evening! Steve isn't at 100%! They should just give him a bye to the main event!
Hawke: And how would that be fair to the other seven competitors?
Randy: Not my problem. Mongo will figure it out. Probably the first person to make a goat-themed five-course meal gets a pass.
The heavy strums of a guitar play as the lights dim and swirl around the arena.
You say I need psychotherapy
Now you're making me mad
I say you quit trying to fix me
Or this is gonna get bad
Now you're making me mad
I say you quit trying to fix me
Or this is gonna get bad
All the spotlights convene on the stage where a figure rises from the stage. He slowly spins with his arm outstretched, the hand just slightly crackling with electricity.
If you want a battle, I'll give you a war
Think you control me, don't know what you're in for
Keep coming at me, keep coming, you'll see
Keep pushing, keep pushing, pushing on me
Think you control me, don't know what you're in for
Keep coming at me, keep coming, you'll see
Keep pushing, keep pushing, pushing on me
IF YOU WANT CRAAAAAAAAAAZY!
I'LL GIVE YOU PSYCHOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I'LL GIVE YOU PSYCHOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Dylan flips his hair back as the lights come up with the chorus. Pausing at the top of the stage to the boos from the crowd, he offers no more than a smirk before walking down the ramp, a few ballsy fans pelting him with some trash as he makes sure to savor every second of this. He gets to where the ramp meets the ringside area and pauses, bouncing on the balls of his feet before walking to the steps. He gets up them and gets into the ring, standing in the center.
Bonnie Jenkins: Next, representing GUNS. He stands at SIX FEET THREE INCHES tall and weighed in at TWO HUNDRED AND SEVEN POUNDS, he is the Golden Gun! The longest-reigning X*Crown Champion! Give it up for DYLAAAAAAAAAAAAN BLAAAAACK!
Dylan raises his arm in the air, a fist in the pose of E.V.E. Pyro bursts from the corner posts. He turns to his corner, stepping out of the ring and making light conversation with his team mates.
Hawke: Dylan Black causing quite a stir as he earned his way to being the GUNS representative despite working for J-ROK.
Randy: It's BS, frankly. Dylan screwed over a roster of willing participants from GUNS just to stick it to Kira!
Hawke: All a mastermind plan by the Super Frenemies.
Randy: OFF THE WAGON OWNS THE SUPER FRENEMIES!
"Resurrection" by Pay Money to My Pain plays and the crowd boos for the Harbinger. Raiden Ishimori walks through the curtains, rolling his shoulders, his neck, and his wrists. He smirks at the top of the ramp before walking down slowly.
Bonnie Jenkins: And last on the first team, representing SCCW! He stands at SIX FEET ONE-HALF INCHES tall and weighed in at TWO HUNDRED AND SEVEN POUNDS, he is the Harbinger of Pain, the Bone Cold Assassin, RAAAAAAAAAAIDEEEEEEEEEN IIIIIIIIIISHIIIIIIMORIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
Raiden climbs the ring steps and wipes his feet on the apron, stepping through the middle rope and walking to the nearest ring post. He climbs to the second rope, posing as the crowd jeers him.
Randy: While no Aleister Mayfield, Bonnie still offers a great announcement for the current SCCW Double Down Champion.
Hawke: Raiden is looking to add more gold to his resume. He's come close several times to claiming the X*Crown and after a hiatus in 2019, he's back in full force. Unmasked and ready to take on the world!
Nisi per dolorem potest salvari... The lights go pitch back as the eerie bells and words fill the arena. Each time the choir sings, red spotlights blaze down, revealing Poena standing at the top of the ramp, a black silhouette with his arms raised out to the sides with his palms and face up to the heavens.
As the music picks up the red spotlights stay on him as he lowers his arms and walks toward the ring holding his twisted rosary, made of teeth and bone with a dagger for a cross, in his hands as if praying as he walks down the ramp, his crazed smile breaking out into an even crazier grin as he does.
Bonnie Jenkins: And their opponents, first representing TAPOUT. He stands at SIX FEET tall and weighed in at ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY POUNDS. He's the best digit manipulator since Nathan Santiago. The Ghost with the Most. POOOOOOOOOENAAAAAAAA THE SAAAAAANCTIFIIIIIIIIIIIIIED!
He rolls into the ring as the spotlights turn to brightest white, going to his knees in the same pose he held on the ramp with the rosary clenched in his right hand, whispering a silent prayer to himself and yelling “REPENT!” to the heavens before smirking at the crowd and getting up to his feet.
Randy: This is one creepy mother hecker.
Hawke: Poena is one of the toughest bastards in Las Vegas. Hence why he's on track to make the finals of the TAPOUT Openweight Championship Tournament.
Randy: Just has to beat two Icons and he's golden. But if he wins here, he could be on track for something bigger. No offense Cross.
The slow beginning to ‘Styles Clash’ plays through the P.A. System in the arena as the house lights flash down onto the stage once the beat kicks in and onto the entrance curtain as the crowd await the arrival of James Raymond and raining down the mixture of cheers and boos from every inch of the arena. The figure of James slowly passes through the curtain from Gorilla Position as he looks around the arena. The half-mask worn around his head doesn’t give James the advantage of expressing himself, but from the way he’s looking around the arena and soaking in the crowd’s negative reaction, his nods are in approval of how the crowd feels about him.
James begins his walk to the ring, the spotlights following him down the ramp as he ignores those who reach out for him, even going as far as kicking the barricade that holds the fans back as he passes by. The Coventry native makes his way to ringside and walks around the ring until he’s leaped onto the ring apron where the hard cam faces, from there he begins to unwrap the mask from behind his head, pulling away at the final knot as the ring announcer begins his introduction.
Bonnie Jenkins: Up next, representing J-RoK. Wrestling out of Coventry City, England though residing in Shibuya City, Japan. He stands at SIX FEET ONE-HALF INCHES tall and weighing in tonight at ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-SEVEN POUNDS. The host of James Raymond's Bloodsport in February in J-RoK. THE BROKEN CROWN... JAMES RAAAAAYYYYMOOONNNDDDDDD!
Upon hearing his name being announced, James pulls the mask away from his head and reveals the bottom half of his facial features to the hard camera that points right down at him, finally getting a good look at his cocky grin rubbed all over his face before he passes through the ropes and enters the ring, looking around the arena with that same shit-eating smug look on his face as he slips free from his ring jacket and places it down in his corner.
Hawke: James Raymond is no stranger to X*Crown matches at Supremacy, fighting in the very first one in 2018. Although he lost the match he won the hearts of everyone in attendance and got the eyes of several key companies on him, namely AXW and J-RoK.
Randy: And now he gets to prove his worth by defending the honor of J-RoK. Do everything you can to harm Zoran! Do it for us!
"Seasons in the Abyss" by Stone Sour begins to play as The Sheik stalks out from the back. Accompanied by his faithful manager MXG, he makes a slow walk to the ring, flinching at a few fans to scare them. MXG laughs as the Sheik shows no emotion but hate, staring down the opposing team. Imagining how he'd break them all down.
Bonnie Jenkins: Next up, representing Hardkore World. He stands at SIX FEET tall and weighed in at TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY POUNDS. The Beast from the Middle East. The Immortal One, THE SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIK!
Randy: Jeez. This team is full of scary dudes.
Hawke: Sheik is a prize fighter with no eye on the physical prize. In his eyes, the prize is beating his opponents senselessly. He is a man of no remorse.
Randy: He'd make a good fit under J-RoK's employ.
Hawke: Kira would have him jobbing to STRiFE quicker than you can say Hardkore Legend.
The lights go down suddenly, and darkness fills the arena before a dim glow begins at the ramp.
A few bursts of flame, and then a small cavorting crowd appears at the top of the ramp. A small knot of rather bedraggled and sinister-looking clowns start down towards the ring. Then comes more of a crowd, twisting and dancing clowns and misfits in brightly colored clothes. Flames leap into the air, and hoops are thrown into the air as fire dancers emerge as well to join the throng slowly circling and dancing around the ring. Then Armand Von Krauss appears on the ramp, he stares around at the celebrating mass of circus performers before he heads for the ring.
Bonnie Jenkins: And the final entrant in this match, representing W:UK. He stands at SIX FEET TWO INCHES tall and weighs in at TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY-FIVE POUNDS. The Ringmaster of the Krimson Karnival, the former RSW owner and KGB manipulator. Give it up, or die, for ARMAAAAAAAAAAAAAND VON KRAUUUUUUUUUUUSS!
The fans are amazed, and then Armand climbs the stairs before he lifts a hand.
The lights go down, and darkness fills the air. It is silent save for a few hushed whispers, and soft giggles before the lights return. The circus is gone, and Armand smirks as the fans gave a pop for the display!
Hawke: Like him or not, the patriarch of the von Krauss Dynasty is nothing short of a showman. A man with flare.
Randy: WOOOOOOO! Enough talk Hawke let's get to the fighting!
FOUR ON FOUR XTRACTION MATCH
Special Guest Referee: XHF X*Crown Champion Zoran Sainovic
Copycat (CAR), Steve Awesome (REIGN), Dylan Black (GUNS), and Raiden Ishimori (SCCW)
VS
Poena (TAPOUT), James Raymond (J-RoK), The Sheik (HKW), and Armand von Krauss (WUK)
Special Guest Referee: XHF X*Crown Champion Zoran Sainovic
Copycat (CAR), Steve Awesome (REIGN), Dylan Black (GUNS), and Raiden Ishimori (SCCW)
VS
Poena (TAPOUT), James Raymond (J-RoK), The Sheik (HKW), and Armand von Krauss (WUK)
DING DING DING!
Poena paces on one side of the ring, eager to get to administering his daily dose of pain to people. Steve Awesome decides to start it out for his team, circling around the ring with Poena. They lock up and Poena pushes Steve into the corner before delivering some wild chops! Steve holds his arms up to block the attacks but Poena just grabs the fingers of Steve’s left hand and bites down on them! The Face of the Franchise yelps and he shoves a thumb into Poena’s eye! The blinded Demon of the Ninth Deep lets go of Steve, holding a palm to his eye as Steve begins to battle back with forearm strikes, knocking him to the center of the ring, Steve dropkicks Poena into a corner but grabs his torso, still in a great deal of pain from Rat’s attack earlier today.
Hawke: That heinous attack by Rat Bastard might cost Steve and his team the chance to fight at Supremacy!
Randy: Rat doesn’t give a damn about Steve and his teammates. All he wants in life is to screw Steve over and drink Bastard Brews. The best all-American brew on the market. No Super Sake but hey, if it gets you drunk.
Poena manages to shake the cobwebs before Steve recovers and begins to lay into the two-time X*Crown Champion with some vicious knee strikes! Steve’s stitches are reopened and he’s bleeding all over the mat, making Poena laugh. He rubs his hand across Steve’s cut and wipes the blood on his chest, a display that makes most people gag. Poena grins his evil grin and grabs Steve by the wrist, dragging his corpse to Poena’s corner. Poena tags in Armand von Krauss and steps out of the ring, keeping a lock on Steve’s wrist as Armand steps into the ring, delivering a few stomps to Steve’s elbow! Zoran, pretending to care about Steve’s well-being, tries to separate Armand from Steve. Being half blind from these last few months as X*Crown Champion he misses out on Poena dislocating one of Steve’s fingers with a vicious snap!
Randy: Ooooh! Gonna be hard to hold my liquor down with Poena pulling stunts like that.
Hawke: I’m not sure if Zoran intentionally missed that to screw with Steve or if that was genuine. Regardless, Steve’s in for a rough night.
Steve howls and holds his hand while rolling out of the corner. Armand advances on the Face of the Franchise and locks him in a wrist lock. He toys with Steve’s dislocated finger, tugging on it with a smirk. Armand lifts Steve to his feet and wraps a hand around Steve’s throat while still keeping that wrist lock intact. He lifts Steve up for a chokeslam! Steve is planted on the mat and Armand covers him… but Zoran doesn’t see it. Just out of his peripheral vision. Armand yells angrily at Zoran who turns and finally sees it. He balances himself on his knees since he only has one good counting arm and makes the count. One, two, KICKOUT! Steve isn’t out of this just yet! Armand yells some more at Zoran for not counting quicker, being blind, and having one working arm. The likes. He doesn’t notice as Steve is crawling to his corner to make a tag! Raiden Ishimori is in!
The Harbinger of Pain steamrolls the von Krauss patriarch, blasting him with a crossbody from behind! Ishimori rains down several stiff blows to the back of Armand’s head, a thousand-yard stare from the X*Crown underdog of 2018. Raiden rolls off of Armand and lifts him to his feet, slinging him into the corner before introducing the Karnival Ringmaster to his fist. Several times. Armand blocks a few strikes and nails some of his own. The two powerhouses of the match go back and forth, driving lethal strikes into each other’s heads and torsos. Armand locks up with Raiden and feigns weakness before swinging a leg around and stomping behind Raiden’s knee! Armand lifts Raiden in a powerbomb position from there and drops him down for a lungblower! Raiden holds his back and cries in pain as Armand rolls his shoulders.
Randy: Armand holding his own against various opponents here. Showing just how dangerous the von Krauss dynasty is.
Hawke: He may have dropped off the maps for over a year but he looks like he hasn’t missed a beat!
Armand rolls Raiden onto his back and grabs a leg. He spins around and locks in a figure-four leglock! Raiden is screaming and Armand is yelling at him.
Armand: KLOPFEN! KLOPFEN!
That means “tap” in German. Raiden is trying his best not to klopfen, his hand hovering over the mat. Zoran grabs his hand and drags it to the ropes causing a rope break!
Hawke: Zoran is drawing lines in the sand!
Randy: Oh, so he’s gonna be that kind of referee.
Armand releases the hold and starts complaining to Zoran, who responds with a quick clothesline taking Armand’s head off! Zoran leans down over Armand’s body.
Zoran: My dead wife says hi.
Zoran drags Raiden over to Armand and drapes an arm across before trying a fast count. One two KICKOUT! Armand won’t let Zoran fuck him over like this! Raiden rolls off of Armand, nursing his knee. Armand pulls himself to his feet, kicking Raiden over. Armand rubs his boot across the face of Ishimori, garnering boos from the crowd. He laughs until Raiden grabs his ankle and knocks his legs out from underneath him! Armand topples onto the mat and Raiden grabs a leg, wrapping it around his head for a Brock Lock! He has Armand bending over in weird ways and swinging him around! Armand refuses to give up and Raiden slings him up higher for a torture rack!
Randy: He is trying to snap Armand’s back, break it in two!
Hawke: Raiden isn’t always eloquent in the art of technical wrestling and submissions but dang if that didn’t flow smoothly as heck!
Armand is trying to hold on as Raiden bounces him up and down but he can’t take it! He taps out! Raiden drops him as Zoran motions to Bonnie.
Bonnie Jenkins: Armand von Krauss has been eliminated!
Randy: And our first one is out!
The Sheik is quick to storm the ring before Raiden really gets a chance to breathe. Raiden is bombarded with strikes and stumbles back. Sheik is relentless and charges after him, crumpling the Harbinger with a stiff clothesline into the corner. He grabs him by the throat and leans in.
The Sheik: taetaqid 'anak taerif al'almi? sarik al'alam alhaqiqia!
Sheik sinks his hand into Raiden’s stomach for a stomach claw! Raiden grabs the Sheik by the head and delivers a headbutt and Sheiky baby laughs, he delivers one of his own right back! Sends Raiden across the ring, reaching out and tagging in Copycat! Copycat’s eyes go wide and he pleads with Zoran to not let him into the match! Zoran just begins counting. Copycat gets in and quickly tries to tag Dylan in but Dylan isn’t letting Copycat touch him! Steve and Raiden are still hurt and not coming in and Copycat is quickly attacked from behind! The Sheik locks in a chokehold and drags Copycat flailing to the middle of the ring! He wants to tap out but remembers he has a baby on the way! He can’t be a coward for his child!
Copycat grabs the Sheik by the neck and NAILS HIM WITH A STUNNER!.. Or he would if he didn’t weigh as much as a small child. He jumps up and… is now being choked off the ground. Copycat tries to go dead weight and make Sheik drop him and he does, before the Sheik twists his neck for a neck snap. Copycat goes limp on the mat and Zoran counts. One, two, BROKEN UP BY DYLAN!
Randy: Dylan saving Copycat? What kind of backward world do we live in?
Hawke: The kind where Dylan knows that he needs to keep Copycat in case he needs a body to sacrifice.
Dylan begins to brawl with the Sheik as Zoran checks on Copycat. Dylan drives a robot knee into Sheik’s chest and sends him stumbling to the ground. He jumps for a springboard dropkick, nailing Poena and sending him into James Raymond! They fall off the apron and Dylan gets up, running back with a sliding knee to Sheik’s face. He drags Copycat onto Sheik and high-fives Zoran on his way out! Zoran tries another fast count. One two KICKOUT! Sheik is not getting put away by anyone here, least of all Copycat with an assist from Dylan. Dylan slams a fist on the turnbuckle as Copycat stirs in the ring, he sees The Sheik out in the ring and gets a bright idea. He climbs the nearest turnbuckles and gets all the way up to the top rope. He leaps for a COPYCAT AND PASTE! DIVING HEADBUTT FROM THE TOP! But that’s not all, he runs across the ring before dropping down! He’s doing his signature move! THE WORM! THE COPY! THE SHEIK IS OUT OF IT AND COPYCAT STRUGGLES BUT HE LIFTS A LEG UP TO COVER HIM! ONE, TWO, THREE!
MEGA POP!
Hawke: In all my days, never would I have thought Copycat would pin someone twice his size!
Randy: Successfully pin, might I add!
Bonnie Jenkins: The Sheik has been eliminated!
Hawke: Uh oh. Poena and James Raymond are down 2-4 now!
Randy: It’s a tall task but if anyone can handle it it’s these two!
James Raymond steps into the ring, driving a knee into Copycat and Irish whipping him into his corner. He yells at Dylan to tag into the match, to be a man and show the multi-time Tag Team Champion what he’s made of. Dylan laughs and slaps the back of Copycat, tagging himself into the match. James Raymond charges him with a dropkick into the corner, sending Dylan flying back into Copycat. James lays into Dylan with some stiff punches, Dylan trying to block most of them. James is pulled off by Zoran, trying to give Dylan a moment to breathe. James responds by cold cocking Zoran, knocking him on his ass and sending him reeling!
Hawke: James just hit the referee!
Randy: Zoran can take it. Besides, you know he was only holding James back so Dylan could get a few licks in!
Dylan pulls himself to his feet and James runs at him, Dylan ducks under a clothesline and begins beating James back into a corner. Lefts and rights from the Cybernetic Psychopath, he beats James to a pulp and takes a few steps back. He lifts Raymond’s legs up over the second rope and does the Goldust breathing taunt. He runs across the ring. And he pokes Raymond in the eye! Dylan laughs as Raymond holds a hand to his eye, he grabas James by the back of the head and bulldog’s him onto the mat. Satisfied with his dismantling of the establishment, he lifts James and whips him into his own corner, daring Poena to come into the ring. And the master of digit manipulation tags himself in!
Randy: Oh boy! Former XHF Hardcore Champion versus future XHF Hardcore Champion!
Poena and Dylan circle the ring, eyeing each other up as they move in for a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Dylan powers Poena back into a corner, crushing him with some robot chops. Dylan steps back for a massive chop and Poena catches his hand, dropping down and rolling him over for an arm bar! He’s got Dylan locked up in the center of the ring and he falls back, putting all that pressure on his arm and shoulder! Trying to hyper-extend that elbow! While still holding onto that wrist he grabs one of Dylan’s fingers…
SNAP!
POP!
Dylan yowls and wails Poena with a punch to the face, breaking the hold. He jumps over to his corner and tags Steve in, Steve runs over and ducks under a strike. He grabs Poena by the head and just starts punching him over and over!
Poena: OoOoOhhh. Keep doing that.
Disgusted, Steve whips Poena into a corner and starts bashing his head on the turnbuckle.
Poena: Ugh yeah! That’s the stuff!
Steve: Did you take my script? Because you’re making it really hard to enjoy beating you up!
Steve runs over and tags Raiden in, not wanting anything to do with the guy who enjoys receiving pain. Raiden steps in and lifts Poena on the top turnbuckle, before climbing up himself. Raiden tries to lift Poena up for a superplex but Poena hooks his feet under the top rope, he holds on and punches Raiden a few times in the gut. Poena breaks free and pushes Raiden off of the top rope! Raiden lands back first on the mat, crying out in pain as Poena slithers down, he lifts Raiden into a seated position and then locks him in his Penace submission hold! He twists Raiden back and sits down on his back, locking his hands together and screaming at Raiden-
Poena: REPENT! REPEEEEEEEENT!
Raiden is shaking his head no, he doesn’t want to give up so Poena lets one arm go, he makes a fist but bends the thumb under his index finger so his index finger knuckle is sticking out and he just starts jabbing Raiden in the side with his knuckle! Over and over, before switching to elbows to the small of his back! Really trying to wear Raiden down! Poena switches it up, forcing Raiden to lay on one side as he bends both arms behind him!
Poena: CONFESS!
There’s a pause as Raiden goes to shake his head no, but Poena yanks both of his arms back even farther and he can’t take it anymore! Raiden Ishimori taps out!
Bonnie Jenkins: Raiden Ishimori has been eliminated!
Hawke: Poena has just begun to even the playing field! It is now 3-on-2 with Poena’s team still at the disadvantage.
Randy: Yeah, but Copycat barely counts so it’s really 2-and-an-eighth-on-2.
Steve Awesome tries to talk Dylan going in and dealing with the Poena problem but Dylan is in too much pain to get out there. Steve turns to Copycat who is still out cold from the ambush earlier. Steve gulps and realizes that he needs to do this on his own. He steps into the ring as Poena licks his lips.
Steve: No more of that perverted shit. I don’t care about your kinks and I will shame them!
Poena charges Steve once again, these two really fated to fight forever in this match. Steve throws a few strikes at the menace from TAPOUT! Poena looks a little worse for wear, slightly banged up, but he’s ready for anything Steve dishes out. Steve grabs Poena by the nose and yansk on it Three Stooges style. Poena grabs his nose and Steve dishes out an uppercut, sending him to the floor. Steve drags Poena to the middle of the ring, stacking him up for a pin. One, two, three! Four! Five. Six. Seven? Steve looks up to see Zoran standing above him, hand on his hip, shaking his head. Steve gets up and starts arguing with Zoran, who refuses to count his pin.
Hawke: What were you saying about Zoran being anti-Team Poena, Randy?
Randy: Hey he’s got a grudge against Steve. I’m sure if Kris or I were in that match in place of Dylan, Copycat or Steve he wouldn’t count ours either. HIT HIM STEVE!
Steve shoves Zoran, intent on showing this old man what happens when you take a BANG! Bros favorite toy. Zoran clocks Steve in the jaw and he drops like a stack of bricks. Nobody noticed Zoran slipped on those gloves with the brass knucks sewn in! Steve is trying to recover as Poena stirs, he climbs to his corner and tags James Raymond in! Steve crawls to his corner and goes for a hot tag of his own! But James grabs his ankle, James locks in an ankle lock as he drags Steve into the middle of the ring! Steve screams and reaches out for his team mates, who are too far away to assist him! Steve tries to crawl to the ropes, he drags and scratches his way to the ropes and he wraps a fist around the rope! Rope break! No! Zoran kicks his arm off the rope and James drags him away!
Randy: I’m starting to think Mongo knew Zoran wouldn’t be an impartial referee from the get go but wanted to see what chaos would come of it.
James dragging Steve around gave Steve enough wiggle room to get out of the ankle lock. He hops up on one leg and-
THIGH SLAP!
SUUUUUUUPERKIIIIIIIICK!
Steve: Hah I just rebroke the Broken Crown.
Steve hobbles away towards his corner and hot tag! Dylan’s in the match!
Dylan runs into the middle of the ring where James is still laying flat on the mat and he rolls him over, grabbing both of his arms and pulling him back. DYNAMIC OUTRO! Dylan stomps James’ head hard in the mat, but he’s not done yet. DYNAMIC OUTRO AGAIN! AND AGAIN! Dylan just keeps lifting James back up and stomping him down. After a few more stomps, he rolls James onto his back and rolls him up. Zoran slides in for the count. One, two, three!
Randy: There goes J-RoK. *sad trumpet noises*
Hawke: And now Poena is a one man gang against three worn down, bloodied and beaten stars.
Bonnie Jenkins: James Raymond has been eliminated!
Poena slithers into the ring but he’s very cautious around Dylan. Dylan wants nothing to do with Poena however, and walks to his corner and slaps Steve on the back.
Dylan: Deal with your Poena problem.
Steve turns around on the apron, shocked and scared. He’s telling Dylan that he doesn’t want to come back in, why doesn’t he want to score the final win? Dylan grabs Steve by the head and drags him over the ropes and into the ring before rolling out and hopping off the apron. Steve rolls over, hand outstretched to Copycat who also shakes his head. He’s probably more afraid for his kid then anything else. Steve turns again to Dylan, who takes a cup from a fan in an alligator mask and walks back to Steve. He splashes a cup of Hitachino Nest Red Rice Ale in Steve’s face!
Hawke: Oh that’s low! Steve’s a recovering alcoholic!
Randy: Yeah Dylan! If you’re gonna splash a guy in recovery at least use Super Sake!
Hawke: You missed the point entirely.
Steve wipes the booze from his face but a bit of it gets in his mouth. He freezes for a moment, before immediately succumbing into secret Steve technique - Drunken Awesome Fist. Steve wobbles to the rising Poena in a state of encumberment that one would think he shouldn’t be wrestling at all. Poena takes a few wild swings at Steve knock him out but Steve moves with lightning speed. Dodging every strike and landing a few shots of his own. Poena whips Steve into the ropes and ducks down to send Steve for a back body drop. Steve stops just short and kicks him in the face to stand him up, then grabs Poena’s left arm and lifts him on his shoulders. Steve drunk wobbles to the middle of the ring and spins Poena off. TKO! STEVEKO! STEVE ROLLS POENA ONTO HIS BACK AND LIFTS BOTH LEGS AS ZORAN BEGRUDGINGLY MAKES THE COUNT! ONE! TWO! THREE! THIS MATCH IS OVER!
DING DING DING!
Bonnie Jenkins: Poena has been eliminated! The winners of this match and advancing to the main event of Supremacy.... Dylan Black, Steve Awesome, Raiden Ishimori, Copycat AND Zoran Sainovic!
Randy: Did you hear that? The ref just added himself to the winning team.
Hawke: I'm sure he was just showing his support-
Randy: More like a contingency plan to headline Supremacy if he drops the crown to Kanyon!
Hawke: That doesn't sound like something nice guy Zoran would do…
Raiden comes back to the ring to celebrate with his team mates as Zoran rolls out of the ring. Everyone cheers for Steve for earning his pin and overcoming his fear of Hoena. Dylan slips out as Copycat gives Steve a big hug. Steve shakes off the drunken effect and quickly pushes Copycat off, knowing he might have several unknown diseases.
Hawke: Well folks we now know our Supremacy main event. Zoran Sainovic or Curtis Kanyon will be defending the X*Crown against Steve Awesome, Dylan Black, Raiden Ishimori, and Copycat!
Randy: What a lineup. Sucks that J-RoK lost their shot at the X*Crown, maybe if Dylan wasn’t such a snivvling bitch wrapped around Zoran’s pinky he might have had that spot and things would have been different!
Hawke: *eyeing something behind Randy and getting up* Well folks thanks for tuning in, this was Battle for Hegemony-
Randy: Now hold on Hawke, we have to sign off before we can get up and-
Before Randy can finish that thought, Zoran and Dylan dump a massive cooler full of Hitachino Nest Red Rice Ale over the Super Sake spokesperson’s head. The color drains in Randy’s face before realization sets it, and it turns as red as his hex code. Before Randy can let out a string of expletives, we cut to the XHF Network logo.