Post by Old Line Jeff on Jan 18, 2023 9:44:20 GMT -5
Some time or other backstage.
Warren W. Webber III is practically bouncing up and down as he holds a microphone to his mouth.
3W3: Fans, we have just heard from the Oblivion Death Squad via Katie Moss, and I’m so excited for this. The Brothers Gluck have not left the building. I repeat, the Glucks have NOT left the building!
He gestures behind him. It’s an indoor parking lot, clearly reserved for the W:UK talent.
3W3: They’ll have to come this way, and I’m the one that’s going to be bringing everybody an exclusive scoop, as I confront the Glucks on their recent actions! Why would they backstab Daeriq Damien and The Foundation, what exactly did Wesley Crane offer them to get them into the High Roller’s Club, and why they would backstab W:UK to side with HKW?
3W3 is doing his best impression of a confrontational reporter, jabbing an index finger at the camera, up on the balls of his feet.
3W3: Fans, the Glucks need to do some explaining, they OWE us an explanation! They’ve already been called out by the Oblivion Death Squad, and - oh! Oh, there they are!
Carlton and Chapps are dressed in their street clothes. For Carlton that’s a pair of dirty jeans, a black Pantera T-shirt, and a denim jacket with, yes, a Confederate Battle Flag prominent on the chest pocket. Chapps is in raggedy jorts and the mangiest leather jacket ever over a beater, his hair tied back with a bandana.
Instantly switching to his normal fawning mode - you don’t think someone like Warren Webber would get confrontational with someone like the Glucks, do you? - he runs over to them, the cameraman trying to follow.
3W3: Mister…um… Glucks! Can I get a word?
Carlton: No.
Warren looks like someone just kicked his puppy.
3W3: But… why?
Carlton: Ain’t got tahm boah. We’re TAARD.
(No that’s not a slur, that’s just how Mississipians say ‘tired.’)
3W3: But surely you want to tell us why you’d side with HKW over W:UK?
Carlton ignores him. But Chapps stops walking, then turns, slowly, to give Warren Webber his full attention.
Chapps: Th’ hail is a aich-kay-dubya?
3W3: Er… HardKore World. It’s-
Chapps: Hard Core World? Ah ain’t never heard of no gawddamn Hard Core World.
And now Warren Webber is completely nonplussed.
3W3: But… you backstabbed The Foundation to join The High Rollers Club and support HKW over W:UK?
Carlton: CHAPPS C’MON GOWDDAMMIT AHM READY FOR DINNER!
Chapps: You go bro, Ah’ll catch up.
Carlton shrugs his shoulders and lumbers off. Chapps watches him go, grinning, his eyes unfocused.
3W3: All anyone wants to know, Mr. Gluck, is, well, why?
Chapps looks down at Warren Webber as though seeing him for the first time.
Chapps: Shut’th’fukup boah. Th’ Glucks ain’t here t’ care abowt thangs. Yew r’member what Carlton said t’ Wesley Crane back th’ other week bout anything y’all have we c’n burn? Well, lissen up.
As Chapps’ voice gets softer, strangely, his accent gets fainter.
Chapps: We don’t care what burns. Wesley Crane knows that - he gets it. He’s pointin’ us away from him, an’ he’s providin’ th’ fuel and th’ lumber for the fire. Me an’ Carlton don’t care about W:UK, HKW, any other damn place in the XHF or the XHF itself. It ain’t personal.
He curls a finger, beckoning Warren Webber closers.
Chapps: There’s scary things out there, Warren. We don’t care - but maybe somebody else out there does. You know what Ah mean?
Webber’s eyes are wide. He shakes his head.
W3W: I - I’m not sure I do. But listen. The Oblivion Death Squad already spoke, and
Like a switch was thrown, Chapps suddenly switches back to ‘normal Chapps’. His eyes are bleary, his smile is vague.
Chapps: Psh… why ain’t they speakin’ INGLESH? They white, ain’t they?
And this is where XHF post-production kicks in and we get a very quick cut to black. No fade.
Warren W. Webber III is practically bouncing up and down as he holds a microphone to his mouth.
3W3: Fans, we have just heard from the Oblivion Death Squad via Katie Moss, and I’m so excited for this. The Brothers Gluck have not left the building. I repeat, the Glucks have NOT left the building!
He gestures behind him. It’s an indoor parking lot, clearly reserved for the W:UK talent.
3W3: They’ll have to come this way, and I’m the one that’s going to be bringing everybody an exclusive scoop, as I confront the Glucks on their recent actions! Why would they backstab Daeriq Damien and The Foundation, what exactly did Wesley Crane offer them to get them into the High Roller’s Club, and why they would backstab W:UK to side with HKW?
3W3 is doing his best impression of a confrontational reporter, jabbing an index finger at the camera, up on the balls of his feet.
3W3: Fans, the Glucks need to do some explaining, they OWE us an explanation! They’ve already been called out by the Oblivion Death Squad, and - oh! Oh, there they are!
Carlton and Chapps are dressed in their street clothes. For Carlton that’s a pair of dirty jeans, a black Pantera T-shirt, and a denim jacket with, yes, a Confederate Battle Flag prominent on the chest pocket. Chapps is in raggedy jorts and the mangiest leather jacket ever over a beater, his hair tied back with a bandana.
Instantly switching to his normal fawning mode - you don’t think someone like Warren Webber would get confrontational with someone like the Glucks, do you? - he runs over to them, the cameraman trying to follow.
3W3: Mister…um… Glucks! Can I get a word?
Carlton: No.
Warren looks like someone just kicked his puppy.
3W3: But… why?
Carlton: Ain’t got tahm boah. We’re TAARD.
(No that’s not a slur, that’s just how Mississipians say ‘tired.’)
3W3: But surely you want to tell us why you’d side with HKW over W:UK?
Carlton ignores him. But Chapps stops walking, then turns, slowly, to give Warren Webber his full attention.
Chapps: Th’ hail is a aich-kay-dubya?
3W3: Er… HardKore World. It’s-
Chapps: Hard Core World? Ah ain’t never heard of no gawddamn Hard Core World.
And now Warren Webber is completely nonplussed.
3W3: But… you backstabbed The Foundation to join The High Rollers Club and support HKW over W:UK?
Carlton: CHAPPS C’MON GOWDDAMMIT AHM READY FOR DINNER!
Chapps: You go bro, Ah’ll catch up.
Carlton shrugs his shoulders and lumbers off. Chapps watches him go, grinning, his eyes unfocused.
3W3: All anyone wants to know, Mr. Gluck, is, well, why?
Chapps looks down at Warren Webber as though seeing him for the first time.
Chapps: Shut’th’fukup boah. Th’ Glucks ain’t here t’ care abowt thangs. Yew r’member what Carlton said t’ Wesley Crane back th’ other week bout anything y’all have we c’n burn? Well, lissen up.
As Chapps’ voice gets softer, strangely, his accent gets fainter.
Chapps: We don’t care what burns. Wesley Crane knows that - he gets it. He’s pointin’ us away from him, an’ he’s providin’ th’ fuel and th’ lumber for the fire. Me an’ Carlton don’t care about W:UK, HKW, any other damn place in the XHF or the XHF itself. It ain’t personal.
He curls a finger, beckoning Warren Webber closers.
Chapps: There’s scary things out there, Warren. We don’t care - but maybe somebody else out there does. You know what Ah mean?
Webber’s eyes are wide. He shakes his head.
W3W: I - I’m not sure I do. But listen. The Oblivion Death Squad already spoke, and
Like a switch was thrown, Chapps suddenly switches back to ‘normal Chapps’. His eyes are bleary, his smile is vague.
Chapps: Psh… why ain’t they speakin’ INGLESH? They white, ain’t they?
And this is where XHF post-production kicks in and we get a very quick cut to black. No fade.