.:: SUPREMACY:FED WARFARE [LIVE] ::.
Jan 30, 2023 0:12:17 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Curtis D. Kanyon, and 9 more like this
Post by Dylan on Jan 30, 2023 0:12:17 GMT -5
THE XHF NETWORK PRESENTS:
JANUARY 29TH, 2022
LIVE FROM THE BALL ARENA IN DENVER, COLORADO
(Capacity: 18,000 | Attendance : 25,000(WE BUILT EVEN MORE SEATS))
(Capacity: 18,000 | Attendance : 25,000(WE BUILT EVEN MORE SEATS))
Boom! Pow! Yippee! Fireworks go off around the stage of the Ball Arena as the camera zooms around to see 25,000 rambunctious, stomping, screaming, hooting, and hollering fans! The camera cuts to Hawke and Randy, both dressed in their finest outfits. Randy also has several carts of booze surrounding him. He almost looks like a dragon hoarding its treasure.
Hawke: It's the most wonderful time of the year folks. It's time for Supremacy!
Randy: It's time for the feds to go to WAAAAAAAAAAAR! WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?
Hawke: Absolutely nothing except for ratings and lining Mongo's pockets.
Randy: And Mongo's gonna be raking in the cash after this mega show tonight! 13 matches line the card starting with a mega match for the nCw Championship and ending with a hot X*Crown Match!
Hawke: Zoran Sainovic, the Champion-
Randy: The CHEAT!
Hawke: Defends against four superstars who won a brutal Xtraction match at Battle for Hegemony.
Randy: He defends in a Kitchen Kaos match. Knives are everywhere. This is unfortunately Zoran's specialty.
Hawke: Let's cut to Bonnie for the opening match.
Bonnie Jenkins stands in the ring.
Bonnie Jenkins: The opening contest is a TWELVE STEPS MATCH! No submission, no disqualification. Each time the ref slaps the mat for a pin count, that is added to a cumulative score. The first competitor to reach a score of 12 will win the match.
Randy: This match is crazy, Joey. I’m not sure what to expect.
Hawke: It’s interesting, that’s for sure. Four three counts will win it. Or maybe six two counts!
Randy: Well it’s like they say, twelve steps is for quitters. But I highly doubt there is any quit in either man!
All the lights in the arena die out and the fans in attendance start chanting his name.
Half The Crowd: AWE-SOME
Other Half: SUCKS!
Half The Crowd: AWE-SOME
Other Half: SUCKS!
Half The Crowd: AWE-SOME
Other Half: SUCKS!
Dramatic Pause.
REGRETS I'VE HAD MINE!
The lights in the arena explode to life as they flash green and black to the beat as Steve Awesome comes running out with intensity to the hyped-up chorus of "Full of Regrets" by Danko Jones.
Bonnie Jenkins: Making his way down to the ring, representing REIGN! He stands at SIX FEET TWO INCHES tall and weighed in at TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY-EIGHT POUNDS! From Detroit Michigan, he's the Face of the Franchise! He makes the ladies swoon and the men commune, he's STEEEEEEVE AWWWWWWWWWWWESOOOOOOOOOOOME!
Lonely nights, and a whole lot of wasted time!
If you see her won't you tell her for me
It's better this way to avoid all the misery!
If you see her won't you tell her for me
It's better this way to avoid all the misery!
The chorus plays again as Steve jogs down to the ring. The guitar starts soloing and Steve hops into the ring. He provocatively slips off his jacket and flexes his arms for the ladies and gets a slow-motion effect as pyro sprays behind him.
Hawke: And here is the challenger. Steve Awesome is looking to defend the honor of New Championship Wrestling by snatching that world title away from Rat Bastard.
Randy: Well you’d think if the honor and legacy was that important, he never would have given the title to Rat in the first place.
Hawke: Well to be fair to Steve, he thought he could trust Rat when he did it.
Randy: I get that. Us alcoholics are a tricky bunch!
A complete blackout accompanies the opening lyrics of Drowning Pools Tear Away
I'm tearing away
Pieces are falling,
I can't seem to make them stay
You run away
Faster and faster,
You can't seem to get away
Break
Pieces are falling,
I can't seem to make them stay
You run away
Faster and faster,
You can't seem to get away
Break
A bright flashing of white lights, and then red strobe lights accompany the music as Rat Bastard steps out into the entrance.
Hope there's a reason
For questions unanswered
I just don't see everything
Yes, I'm inside you
Tell me how does it feel
To feel like this
Just like I do
For questions unanswered
I just don't see everything
Yes, I'm inside you
Tell me how does it feel
To feel like this
Just like I do
Rat begins to walk down the entrance way, giving fans as Ringside the spooky fingers and talking smack as he does.
I don't care about anyone else but me
I don't care about anyone
I don't care about anyone else but me
I don't care about anyone
I don't care about anyone
I don't care about anyone else but me
I don't care about anyone
Rat climbs the ring steps, and steps into the squared circle. Looking out at the crowd he smirks, soaking in all the hate from the crowd.
Hawke: And the champion. He is the nCw Champion here tonight, but this man has an XHF rap sheet a mile long.
Randy: There is no doubt that Ratty is one of my all time favorite functioning alcoholics. Dude has been with the XHF since the beginning and he never seems to stop winning.
Hawke: Steve Awesome has been on one hell of a run for the past year or so. Capturing tag and XCrown gold along the way. We are gonna find out what happens when The Awesome Bastards finally collide!
Fed Warfare - nCw Championship
12 Steps Match
Rat Bastard© vs Steve Awesome
12 Steps Match
Rat Bastard© vs Steve Awesome
Ding Ding Ding
Steve and Rat saunter out of there corners and glare and talk trash at each other. Rat smirks and then tosses his toothpick at Steve. Steve sardonically chuckles and then points behind Rat.
Steve Awesome: Hey what’s that over there!?
Confused, Rat glances behind him and Steve quickly hooks him up into a small package! The ref counts!
1…..2…..Rat Kicks out!
2-0
Rat pops up to his knees looking a bit surprised as Steve gets to his feet and gives him a crotch chop!
Bonnie Jenkins: Steve Awesome goes up two to zero.
Hawke: Much like he did to Zoran Sainovic last year at Battle of Hegemony, STEVE gets on the board with the oldest trick in the book!
Randy: How did Ratty fall for that!? What’s next, the old removable finger gag?
Hawke: You mean this?
Randy: WOAH! JOEY IS REMOVING HIS FINGER OVER HERE!
Steve walks over and drapes himself on the top turnbuckle as he waits for Rat to get it together. Rat mumbles some curse words and gets up and stomps over toward Steve. Awesome hops down and meets Rat half way and they tie up. Steve and Rat Battle for advantage and it’s Rat who seems to win the test of strength. Rat spins Steve down with a spinning neckbreaker. Rat scrambles to make a pin but Steve kicks out before any count is made.
Hawke: Rat really wants to get some points scored in this match.
Randy: But Steve Awesome isn’t ready to let that happen!
Steve is back up to his feet and right back into a collar and elbow tie up. Rat rakes the eye, no dq no problem, and then drills Steve with a spine buster. Rat quickly pulls the far leg in for a deep cover. The ref slides into position.
1….kickout.
2-1
Bonnie Jenkins: Rat Bastard has scored one point. The score is two to one.
Rat looks proud of himself as he grins at Steve. Steve doesn’t look too impressed and does the spooky fingers to Rat.
Hawke: Well the score is closer to even now, but there is still a long way to go to twelve points.
Randy: Your right, twelve is a lot of steps. Why not just get drunk in one step. (Randy pulls out super sake bottle and chugs it)
Rat Bastard gets up to his feet and swings at Steve, but The Face of the Franchise ducks under and goes behind.
Hawke: Schoolboy!
The ref slaps the mat! 1!!!!!! Kickout. A frustrated Rat Bastard goes for another punch but Steve catches it and takes Rat down.
Randy: BACKSLIDE!
The ref slaps the mat! 1!!!! KICKOUT! Before Rat even knows what’s happening, Steve pops up and wraps up Rat!
Hawke: LA Mahigastral!!!!
The ref slides into position and slaps the mat! 1!!!!! And Rat kicks out again! Rat lays there catching his breath and the Face of the Franchise nips up and does a few crotch chops to convey his attitude.
5-1
Bonnie Jenkins: Steve Awesome has gone up three points, making the score five to one.
Hawke: And just like that, Steve Awesome gets a massive lead in this match.
Randy: It’s crazy. Steve is just out maneuvering Rat at every turn.
Hawke: They say alcohol affects your cardio and brain speed.
Randy: Who uh……who says that?
A frustrated and angry Rat gets up and slaps the hell out of Steve. This fires up the Face of the Franchise and the two start unloading on each other in the middle with left and rights. Rat starts getting the upper hand in the slugfest and staggers the challenger toward the ropes. Rat follows up with a cactus clothesline and both men go tumbling outside of the ring.
Hawke: Well the action has spilled to the floor. There may be no disqualifications in this match but I know the pin falls only count in the ring.
Randy: But it’s a good place to rough up your opponents and then when they can’t take any more, you throw them into the ring and have the ref count to thirty.
Hawke: That is certainly one strategy you can use.
Steve is up first and he goes after Rat but the Bastard nails Steve in the balls and then throws him head first into the steel steps. Rat stomps him on the chest a few times and then looks under the ring. Rat pulls out a giant gallon glass jug of Jack Daniels! Rat holds it up and then takes a shot out of it!
Hawke: A glass gallon of Jack Daniels! Randy did you leave that there?
Randy: Wasn’t me! I’m a super sale guy! But if Rat is going to bogart that whiskey I’m going to be upset.
Rat grabs a handful of Steve’s hair and yanks it back making the Face of the Franchise scream in pain. That’s when Rat takes the liquor and pours it down Steve’s throat.
Hawke: Oh come on now! Steve is a recovering alcoholic!
Randy: Quitter.
Steve spits and coughs and finally breaks free from Rats clutches with a chop to the throat. Steve spits out what he didn’t accidentally swallow and then rolls back into the ring to clear his face and eyes with a towel. After a few moments Steve goes to grab Rat and drag him in the ring, but Rat was playing possum! As Steve poked his head through the ropes, Rat swings the glass gallon bottle of Jack and it crashed into Steve’s head!!! Glass and liquor went flying everywhere! Steve collapsed in the middle of the ring, completely out as blood trickled from his forehead.
Hawke: DEAR LORD WHAT A SHOT!
Randy: I can’t believe it!
Hawke: He could have a concussion.
Randy: No, I’m sad about all that wasted liquor.
Hawke: Will you stop!?
And much like a dirty Rat, he scurried into the ring yells at the ref to move out of the way and Rat hooks the leg! The ref sighs and starts to count.
1……2…..
Hawke: Steve is out cold! He hasn’t moved since that bottle was broken over his head!
Randy: Rat could probably get a hundred count right here.
3…….4….5…
Hawke: The legacy of nCw, the dynasty he swore to protect!
Randy: Rat could bring that legacy back. Right into the XCrown!
….6….7…….kickout!
Steve just barely got a shoulder in the air.
Suddenly, Steve just barely gets a weak shoulder up.
5-8
Bonnie Jenkins: Rat Bastard just went up seven points, making the score five to eight.
Steve Awesome is using the ropes to pull himself but he still can’t quite manage as the blood trickles down his face.
Hawke: Rat Bastard is suddenly four points away from a win, while Steve needs seven points.
Randy: Steve doesn’t look too good there. He may be drunk and concussed! What a partier!
Hawke: I don’t think he’s having fun and Rat Bastard smells the end!
Rat rains down some punches and then tossed Steve behind him with a t-bone suplex! Rat goes for a cover but Steve did all he could to roll to his stomach. Rat just stomps Steve in the back a couple times. Rat drags Steve up to his feet and drills him with a Bastard Bomb! Rat wipes his hands clean and goes for the cover, but again Steve instinctively rolls away toward the ropes.
Hawke: Steve may be in a bad way, but rolling onto your stomach so Rat can’t get a pin shows he still has the wherewithal in this match.
Randy: Steve is actually a lot smarter then people give him credit for. Though he may just be prolonging the inevitable here.
Steve rolls out onto the apron and Rat curses in frustration. Rat then says screw it and goes out of the ring and picks up the nCw Heavyweight Title from the time keepers booth.
Hawke: And now Rat is bringing in more hardware.
Randy: It’s all fair in no disqualifications.
Hawke: Rats going to steal the legacy of nCw with the nCw title!
Rat rolls into the ring and sizes Steve up. A woozy Steve Awesome is back inside the ring attempting to to get to his feet. Rat comes running in but Steve ducks it, THIGH SLAPPER SUPERKICK HITS THE BELT AND SMACKS IT RIGHT BACK IN RATS FACE!
Steve falls into the cover.
1…..2….3….4 rat puts a foot on the ropes!
9-8
Bonnie Jenkins: Steve Awesome went up four points. The score is nine to eight.
Hawke: What a desperation move! Steve needed that superkick and it brought him back into the lead. Steve is now three points away from a win.
Randy: Yeah but Rat Bastard is only four points away.
Hawke: Niether man is looking too good right now though.
Steve is a bloody mess. Rat Bastard now has a cut on his forehead. Rat Bastard, angry about his own blood, stomps at Steve a couple times and then drops him with a fall away slam. Rat goes for the pin!
1….Steve shoots a shoulder up!
9-9
Bonnie Jenkins: Rat Bastard has scored one point, the score is nine to nine.
Hawke: Even score here! Steve claimed that Rat couldn’t go the distance but he’s still here.
Randy: And he’s in control.
Rat is pummeling Steve with punches and kicks. The Face of the Franchise is having a hard time defending himself. Rat hooks him up for the Plague!
Hawke: If he hits this, it’s all over!
Randy: The champ will retain!
BLAM! Rat drills him with the razors edge. Rat hooks the leg.
1….2….kickout!!!!
Hawke: ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? Steve kicked out!? How?
Randy: The power of nCw! He really loves his old dead Fed. It’s cute.
9-11
Bonnie Jenkins: Rat Bastard just scored two points. The score is nine to eleven.
Hawke: Rat is just one count away! That’s all he needs to retain!
Randy: And Steve still needs three!
Rat can feel how close he is to victory! He runs over and drops Steve with another Plague! Steve hits the mat hard, but rolls out of the ring! Rat curses at the top of his lungs and goes outside after him. Rat bashes Steve off of the steps, the turnbuckle poll and the barricade and drops him with a fall away slam to the floor.
Hawke: Rat is really going for the kill here, but he can’t score that last point on the outside!
Randy: Come on Rat! Do it for the alcoholics that never quit!
Rat drags a damn near dead weight Steve Awesome and rolls him into the ring. Rat goes to cover but Steve kicks his legs at him with the “little brother defense” and catches Rat under the jaw. A woozy unstable Steve gets to his feet and starts to land some punches but Rat stops it with a knee to the gut. Rat places Steve on the top rope.
Hawke: Both men on the top. Rat setting up for a Power bomb?
Randy: Bastard Bomb from the top rope!? That’ll do it!
Rat goes to lift Steve, but he grabs the top rope and blocks. Rat tries to fight his grip but Steve, nails the rat with a low blow of his own and suddenly Rat is up on his shoulders! Steve leaps off and hits a TOP ROPE STEVEKO!
Hawke: Oh dear god!
Randy: Where the hell did that come from!?
Steve hooks the far leg!
1….2…..3!!!!!!
12-11
Bonnie Jenkins: Steve Awesome has gone up three points! Making the score TWELVE to ELEVEN! And you winner…..and the NEWWWWWW NCW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!!!! STEVE AWESOME!!!!!!
Full of Regrets plays and Steve is presented the nCw Championship and Zelda and her family come out to celebrate with Steve.
Hawke: And Steve has done it! He’s got the nCw title back in his clutches once again.
Randy: But when will he cash it in?
Hawke: I’m not sure if he will, he seems adamant to keep it away from the XCrown but only time will tell on that!
Hawke: A tale of two stars that have traveled similar roads yet have never faced one another in singles competition.
Randy: Frank Wormwood takes on the REAL Lord Dominicus, in what we can only hope will be the end of a tyrant's reign in XHF.
Hawke: Tyrant? Lord Dominicus was the first ever triple crown champion in Northern Pro Wrestling. Had the company not left the network who knows, he may have gone on to be the longest reigning champion of that company.
Randy: The past is the past for a reason, it’s behind us pal. What has Lord Dommy done as of late?
Hawke: You really don’t do any research do you?
Randy: Not in my contract. Maximum minimal effort is my middle name.
Hawke: By now I should know better. (Sighs) Lord Dominicus may not be decorated in gold like he once was. The masked evil one known as L-D is no slouch. Frank will need to put him on the ground and keep him there if he plans on winning this one.
Randy: Lord Dominicus is nothing but a spotlight hog and it’s not a good look for him. Frank is standing up for Wrestle UK and going to shut up that loud mouth once and for all.
Hawke: Well it’s time to see if my partner’s prediction is right, as Bonnie Jenkins has entered the ring for this Supremacy Fed Warfare bout!
Standing center of the ring, we see the dazzling ring announcer famously known for her tenure in XHF throughout the years. Spinning around to twirl her pink dress with shiny mirror style patterns covering it. Stopping with a smile on her face as fans whistle and scream their appreciation of her, Bonnie raises the microphone up.
Bonnie Jenkins: The following bout is scheduled for ONE FALL and has a 30 minute time limit! A win can only occur by pinfall or submission, or if one of the wrestlers is unable to answer the referees ten count. Disqualifications can occur and only one warning will be provided to each wrestler before the referee makes the call.
Fans light up with enthusiasm as the music hits.
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing first, representing himself! He weighed in this evening at (weight here)! Known globally as the one and only ‘REAL’ — LORD DOMINICUS!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqNHltu-_UU
The fans are on their feet as the one and only ‘REAL’ Lord Dominicus appears on the ramp, hes gestures at the CAR Athletic Cup adorned on his groin before strutting down to the ring. He climbs inside, shaking his head with an air of amusement as he faces the ramp.
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing next, representing Wrestle UK! Weighing in tonight at (weight here) — FRANK WORMWOOD!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0EKHr8nd8c
The fans pop as a figure appears on the ramp, and a few pyros pop which makes it leap in surprise before sprinting part way down the ramp. A hand pressed to it’s chest, and he looked around wildly before he pointed at the ring. He threw back the hood of his boxing robe emablazoned with the W:UK logo to reveal the balding head of Frank Wormwood.
Frank threw off the robe, and climbed into the ring wearing a single strap singlet as he talked trash to the laughing Dominicus.
Hawke: Dominicus is not taking Frank seriously at all. Is it confidence or a mistake?
Randy: If I told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times - don’t underestimate the underdog.
Fed Warfare - Dominicus vs W:UK
Singles Match
Lord Dominicus vs Frank Wormwood
Singles Match
Lord Dominicus vs Frank Wormwood
DING! DING! DING!
The ref called for the bell, and Frank Wormwood charged in swinging wildly. Domnicus placed a hand on his head, holding him back as fists flew wildly. And then LD shoved him back, shaking his head before he moved forward to catch him with a hard kick to the gut followed by a whip into the ropes!
Randy: This referee needs to get his eyes checked! That was a cheap shot!
Hawke: I’m sure it was not. Frank is out of his element and Lord Dominicus is taking liberties.
Randy: He sure is, the cheapest and evilest of liberties. (Shaking his head)
Frank comes off and is caught with an arm drag! He scrambles to his feet, another arm drag, and then a third before LD locks on an armbar! The fans boo, and Frank shakes his head as he flails around before he manages to snag the rope. With a sneer of contempt, Dominicus breaks the hold delivering a hard slap to the back of Wormwood’s head.
Hawke: Toying with the challenger, letting him know this is his ring.
Randy: I’d expect this from someone like Donzig, but LD is going to regret these bullying tactics when Frank goes all crazy-eyed on him.
LD shakes his head, watching Wormwood drag himself to his feet. And then he comes in again, but this time Frank ducks low before rolling around behind him. His arms wrap around LD, and he twists and yanks before he flings him to the mat with the worst looking amateur move ever! The fans pop, and Frank looks around wildly before he drops a terrible looking elbow on the spine of the Dark Lord, then another!
Randy: That a boy Frank! Immobilize this cruiser hack.
Hawke: What is your deal tonight with Lord Dominicus?
Randy: Deal, me? No pal, I have no agenda, I just don’t like the guy.
The ref looks stunned, and Frank grabs Domincus’ ankle to try for an ankle lock. But LD rolls over, and drives a few stiff kicks into Frank’s face before he comes to his feet. He glares, and grabs Frank to drive few hard elbows into his head and face before he flings him at the ropes.
Hawke: SPINEBUSTER!
Randy: Come on ref! Those kicks were right to the face of Frank ‘the future of wrestling’ Wormwood!
Hawke: I will say that I didn’t expect him to last this long; but future of wrestling? A bit of a stretch wouldn’t you say?
Randy: If Copycat can main event an XHF event in 2023, then Frank has as much a chance as anyone to paint his own destiny.
The little man rolls around the mat in pain, and Dominicus drags him back to his feet. He yells something about WUK before he fires him off into the corner. EUROPEAN UPPERCUT!
Randy: Gutless Lord Dommy at it again with cheap shots. (Disgusted)
Hawke: It’s not looking good for the WUK representative. Lord Dominicus will not let up and is giving Frank zero room for error.
Then another, and then a third! The fans boo, and Frank falls to the corner leaning on the ropes as the ref tries to check on him. LD shoves him aside, dragging Frank out into the middle of the ring. The fans are furious, and LD climbs the turnbuckle with evil intent.
But Wormwood rolls from the ring, and falls in a heap! The fans cheer, and Dominicus climbs down before going to the outside after Frank. Frank holds up his hands, shaking his head wildly as he backs up before he starts to run in a circle around the outside.
Randy: That’s right Franky baby! Stick and move, stick and move.
Hawke: He sure is moving. A game of cat and mouse is underway as Lord Dominicus chases Frank around the ringside area.
Randy: All part of his grand plan, I assure you.
Hawke: Was this grand plan something you counseled Frank on?
Randy: I’m not at liberty to say.
The Dark Lord of the XHF chases him around the ring, and then Frank rolls back inside after a few loops. LD follows him, and Frank leaps up on him punching and gouging as the fans cheer him on. But Dominicus is back on his feet, and shoves Frank back as he rises.
Wormwood charges back in, but Dominicus fires off a clothesline!
The fans boo, and LD once more climbs the ropes.
Hawke: Moonsault!
Randy: Will he crash and burn? I'm hoping so.
But Frank rolls aside, and the fans explode as LD staggers to his feet holding his ribs. Frank is back on his feet, face reddening as he storms back and forth shaking before he grabs the ropes to shake them wildly. The fans are eating it up, and he turns to stare at LD as he tears down the strap.
LD gapes, and then Frank points as he shakes his head.
Hawke: Shock and awe on the Evil One’s face.
Randy: Did I tell you so or did I tell you so.
Hawke: it’s all I have heard since we came back on the air.
Randy: One second. (Pulls out phone) I need to make sure I have secured my picks on XHF Fantasy League.
Hawke: You’re betting on this?
Randy: It’s not illegal, so sue me if you want but you’ll lose.
Hawke: LD seems out of sorts with what he is seeing.
Randy: (Taps screen) And my picks are finalized. Looks like I’m getting that Presidential Suite tonight after all.
Confusion on the face of the Dark Lord, and then Frank comes charging in with a very clumsy looking Spear! The fans cheer, and LD is down as he holds at his ribs once more with a shake of his head as he climbs to his feet. Frank points again, looking around the ring before he charges back in at LD.
Randy: Get him Franky baby!
Hawke: Wilder things have happened in the XHF. As they say in American Football, any thing can happen on any given Sunday.
But LD steps aside, a hand going behind his back before reappearing with the MIDNIGHT CLAW GAUNTLET! And as Wormwood turns?
Hawke: VANTABLACK PUNCH!
Wormwood drops, clearly having an out of body experience and nearly taking out the ref as he slumps to the ground. The gauntlet hid away, and LD makes the pin!
One!
Two!
THREE!
Lord Dominic rolls off Frank and stands to have his arm raised. He quickly pulls it from the referee and signals for him to get out of his ring.
Bonnie Jenkins: Winner of this match by pin fall, Lord Dominus!
Using his boots and the ropes, Lord Dominicus kicks and shoves Frank under the bottom rope to the outside ring area, disposing of his opponent in ceremonial heel fashion. Gloating with his arms out, Lord Dominicus revels in the jeers of the XHF audience in attendance for tonight’s Supremacy.
Hawke: This was not a pretty one, but I’ll give Frank his props for making me believe he might pull it off.
Randy: He was robbed I tell you, ROBBED! That referee fixed this match in favor of LD. There is no denying that.
Hawke: While my partner storms off, likely calling his bookie, I’m going to let you all know that this is only the beginning for tonight’s action. Don’t go away, we still have a stacked show of XHF’s best facing off in title matches and Fed versus Fed warfare.
Bonnie Jenkins: This match is set for one fall and is a Fireworks Death Match for the XHF Hardcore Championship! All fireworks are legal in this match and the only way to win is via pinfall, submission or knock out. Introducing first the challenger, in the red corner standing in at 6’2 and weighing in at 217 pounds. From Minneapolis, Minnesota he is Johnny Sniper! And his opponent in the blue corner, standing in at 6’2 and weighing in at 220 pounds, from Ireland, he is the REIGNING DEFENDING XHF Hardcore Champion! He is Spike Kane!
Randy: Sniper had some choice words towards Spike leading up to this match. He has what it takes to get the gold, we’ve seen him achieve it in AWF.
Hawke: Johnny is going at an uphill battle, but for years during his deployment in the middle east, Sniper was in an uphill battle every day fighting for his life and his country. Tonight we see how much he really believes in his own hype and if he’ll be able to make a miracle happen.
Randy: If anyone can make it happen it’s that man. He’s as dangerous as they come. But Spike is a former X*Crown Champion and a veteran in the ring. Folks this isn’t a match you’ll want to miss out on!
XHF Hardcore Championship
Fireworks Deathmatch
Spike Kane© vs Johnny Sniper
Fireworks Deathmatch
Spike Kane© vs Johnny Sniper
The bell rings as both men are surrounded by fireworks. Little ones, big ones. Ones you can only get from China because they may or may not be too powerful for the U.S.. Snipper would start the match out defensively. Forcing Kane to go after him and take charge in the offense. Spike would drop him early with a few well placed kicks to the chest and gut, but Sniper would manage to stay on his feet. He’d demand for more punishment from the champ.
Spike obliges before Sniper pops back with a few well placed fists of fury himself. Both men would unload chops and forearms into one another before beaten groggy by each other. The fans cheer on Johnny as he holds his own against the champion.
Randy: Johnny is holding his own against Spike so far, but he’s really gotta be careful taking too much offense.
Hawke: That could make or break him early one. All it takes is one lucky shot to win the match.
Johnny goes for a boot but Spike dodges it, getting behind him and hitting him with a german suplex. Crushing the challenger, Kane is the first to use the fireworks. Unloading some bottle rockets Snipers way. He tries to block them but gets hit with a superkick by Kane. Kane spins and hits his black mass kick he calls the Bloody Sunday afterwards. Johnny finally down to a knee. Spike keeps it up though and drops him with an abigails wings canadian destroyer onto some fireworks. A pin attempt.
ONE!
TWO!!
Kick out by Sniper!
Randy: Johnny’s gained some fighting spirit since making Japan his new wrestling home.
Hawke: He’s fighting for his life and the biggest prize of his career tonight. This is THE biggest match of his career and he’ll be damned if he goes down that easily.
Spike is getting frustrated with Johnny. A guy any other night he would’ve made quick work of. But tonight a fires been lit under Sniper and he’s going to make fans remember just how good he is. Spike goes for another german, but Sniper reverses it. Loosing up his grip and grabbing his arm, wrenching it and kicking him with a side kick.
Sniper keeps up the offense with some stomps. He backs up before going full Muta and hitting one of the nastiest shining wizards we may see all night. Nearly knocking the teeth out of the champion. He goes for a quick cover but gets a one count. He keeps at it though. Sniper is a man of focus and will power. All his engines are running at full speed as he runs into the corner. He waits for spike to get up. Going for a shotgun dropkick. Kane catches him and pops him up into a powerbomb. Johnny rolls over and hooks his legs, hitting a hurricarana on the champion.
He rolls through into a pin. Another one count. Spike rolls him into a pin before lifting him up into a powerbomb again. Sniper fights back, laying in some punches.
Randy: Spike going for Blood God’s Wrath. But Johnny fighting out of it.
Hawke: He can try all he wants Randy, but Kane just FOLDED HIM with BLOOD GOD’S WRATH!
Randy: He keeps him folded with that jackknife pin!
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
KICK OUT!
Randy: Holy shit! Johnny Sniper kicked out! He’s still in this and the fans are losing their minds right now! Not even Spike can believe it!
Spike gets him up and goes for his thunderstruck stunner now. Sniper pushes him away into the ropes. Johnny catches him with the killshot and Spike drops like a bad habit. Johnny dives for the cover. He has it in tight too.
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!-
Kick out!!! Spike kicks out of the Killshot!
He gets back to his feet and swings for the fences. Still groggy from that super kick. Sniper goes for another one, but gets caught. Spike spins him around and goes for the stunner again. Johnny reverses it and goes for another killshot like before. Spike ducks it and slides under his legs behind him. He goes goes for his jackhammer, but Sniper slips behind. He hits him with the german suplex and rolls over.
Randy: If he hits that uranage it’s over. Spike’s gotta fight out of it!
Spike blocks the Uranage by holding onto Sniper in a triangle choke hold. Sniper elbows the hell out of him and slams him down with it.
Hawke: Improvise, Adapt, Overcome! That’s it folks! That’s it!
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
DING DING DING
Bonnie Jenkins: Your winner of this match and NEW XHF Hardcore Champion… Johnny Sniper!
Bonnie Jenkins: The following contest is a Texas Deathmatch/Last Man Standing! Meaning that the winner will have to score a pinfall in order to start the ten count to count the opponent out of the match! Featuring first Cheez and Wellington Dunne. They are…the Tilted Cartridges!
Dunne comes out with Cheez sitting on his shoulders like a child, as Cheez throws items to the crowd, like hats, shirts, old issues of Nintendo Power, etc. Randy Angel stands up with his arms in the air and Cheez throws him the last old Nintendo Power issue.
Randy: Yes! I got the Nintendo Fun Club News Vol 1 No 1 Ultra Rare Winter 1987!
Hawke: Is that good?
Randy: It’s worth about twenty-five hundred dollars on eBay. So it’s worth a lot of booze to me, man!
Hawke: Does everything wind up back to booze?
Randy: Why not?
Hawke: I suppose.
Bonnie Jenkins: And their opponents…Hehehe and Hahaha, they are the Twins!
“Sweet Dreams” by the Aviators begins playing as the foul twins walk out from the back to the booing crowd. They play a quick round of patty-cake while doing a ghastly giggle before walking down to the ring.
Hawke: The Twins have been chomping to prove themselves as more than just second class minions.
Randy: They’re just so stupid.
Hawke: I know, but I don’t think they can help it.
Randy: Yeah. I get it.
The twins step through the ropes where they are immediately assaulted by Wellington Dunne and Cheez, fists flying to keep the twins against the ropes. The clowns are sent across the ring at the same time, but they both come back with shoulder charges to send Wellington and Cheez to the mat.
Fed Warfare
Tag Team Texas Deathmatch
Tilted Cartridges vs The Twins
Tag Team Texas Deathmatch
Tilted Cartridges vs The Twins
Hawke: It’s my understanding that the twins are immortal in a similar way to Deadpool.
Randy: It would seem so. All you have to do to join the Krimson Kharnival of Armand and Esmeralda is die. They’ll do the rest.
Hawke: That’s horrible.
Randy: It is what it is. I think Sir Monocle is the only normie out of the bunch and no one really likes him.
Hehehe pulls Cheez up and throws him from the ring like one might a lawn dart. He rolls out of the ring in giving chase. Hahaha straddles Wellington’s chest and gives a ghastly laugh as he palm strikes Wellington in the face until he draws blood from the man’s nose in a burst.
Outside of the ring, Hehehe pulls Cheez up and sends him shoulder first into the ring post. He goes to lift Cheez again when Cheez hits a low blow with his forearm. Hehehe’s eyes nearly bulge from his head and he holds his breath for a moment before exploding with laughter as he drops to his side.
Inside the ring. Hahaha reaches into the chest pocket of his dingy overalls and pulls out a pair of brass knuckles that say PIE on them.
Hahaha: This is gonna hurt you more than it does me. HA!
Hahaha rears his fist back to punch Wellington, when his would-be victim yells.
Wellington Dunne: Hey! That’s against the rules!
Hahaha blinks and stops what he is doing.
Hahaha: I thought there was no rules?
Wellington Dunne: No PIEs to the face. If you had regular brass knuckles, that would be alright, but not the PIE ones. You don’t want to be disqualified do you?
Hahaha: No? Okay. I not use it.
Wellington Dunne: Can you get off of me and give me the weapon? I’ll put it up and you can have it after the match. Okay?
Hahaha: Okay.
Hawke: Is he really going to fall for that?
Randy: Sure looks like it.
Outside of the ring, Hehehe brings both fists down upon Cheez’s head and shoulders to keep him down on the floor. He continues to bash away at Cheez like he is trying to break asphalt.
Inside the ring. Hahaha gets off of Wellington and hands him the PIE brass knuckles.
Hahaha: I can use normal brass knuckles?
Wellington Dunne: Of course! Do you have any?
Hahaha nods stupidly and reaches into the chest pocket of his overalls. He brings bringing out a chain of handkerchiefs that are brightly colored until he’s pulled out like fifteen of them. He pulls out a wooden mallet, a live mouse that he sets down, and a ham and cheese sandwich that he takes a bite of before tossing it over his shoulder. He gets out the regular brass knuckles when Wellington hits him in the nose with the PIE brass knuckles and lays him totally out with blood splattering high into the air from the red-painted nose.
Outside of the ring, Cheez pulls Hehehe’s legs out from under him. Cheez gets up and waits for Hehehe to get up so that he can hit several drop-kicks that send the larger man backward to the ring steps where he trips and falls onto his back. Cheez launches himself to the top turnbuckle and goes for a flying headbutt that Hehehe rolls out of the way of.
Inside the ring, Wellington waits for Hehehe to sit up and nails him with the brass knuckles again. Hahaha lays on the mat and pouts?
Hahaha: You said that the PIE was illegal!
Wellington Dunne: I lied?
Hahaha stands up with tears streaming down his cheek, gathering up a little bit of face paint on the way down to make white droplets fall onto his chest and the floor.
Hahaha: You lie to me?
Wellington goes to hit the bloody clown again but gets the punch deflected so that Hahaha can grab him by the throat and rips him down to his knees. He grabs Wellington by the wrist where the PIE knuckles are and uses his arm to hit Wellington with the brass knuckles.
Hahaha: Why are you hitting yourself?
Hehehe rolls into the ring and helps stand Wellington Dunne up. They go to the ropes on the opposite sides of the ring and meet in the middle with a titanic standing double splash that gets Wellington to fall over so that the twins can go for the double cover.
One
Two
Three!
The twins back away from Wellington Dunne so that the referee can begin to count.
1…2…3…4…5…6…Wellington sits up. The twins begin working their way back to him when Wellington throws the PIE brass knuckles at them? The twins easily sidestep the clumsy attack, but that’s when Cheez catches it and puts it on. A series of blows later puts down both of the twins and Cheez and Wellington go for the double cover.
One
Two
Three
Cheez and Wellington back away as the ref begins counting both of the twins.
1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10!
Bonnie Jenkins: Winners of the match, the Tilted Cartridges!
Hawke: And just like that, the Twins are tricked into a defeat.
Randy: That’s too bad. I’ll drink in their dishonor and defeat.
BREAKING NEWS
Tokyo, Japan
We cut to a live view of the carnage that is Tokyo, Japan. We see charred building and first responders searching through them. We pan and find Nelly Angel standing with a microphone in hand.
Nelly: Good Evening. Nelly Angel here live from Tokyo where just days ago there was a tragedy of epic proportions. Authorities are still sifting through the damage and tallying up the victims, but GUNS and the XHF Network have sent me here to report on one person in particular, former XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion and possibly Venom in a mask, El Combatiente.
Nelly takes a deep breath.
Nelly: I can report that earlier today the manager of El Combatiente, Javier Nunez, was found in the ruble of the apartment building he and his client lived in while here in Japan. While he was injured and malnourished from being stuck in the ruble, he was able to make a statement after receiving medical attention.
Javier: Hello. I know I’m not who everyone wants to see. I’m kind of an asshole while my client is probably the nicest guy in wrestling. I know the question everyone wants to ask me is “where is El Combatiente?” I wish I knew. I was stuck in that building for days and all I know for sure is that my client was with me when the fire reached our building, but when the roof collapsed we got separated. I haven’t seen him since then. Please keep my client in your thoughts and prayers.
Nelly: There you have it. El Combatiente has not been seen by anyone, including his manager, since the roof collapsed in the building behind me. Authorities are currently searching the building again, but it will be the fourth sweep of the building. If he is not found the question becomes, where could he have gone? Has he been found and without a mask no one noticed? It was he many of the people who perished who have yet to be identified. This is Nelly Angel reporting from Tokyo, Japan.
We cut back to Supremacy as Nelly signs off.
Bonnie Jenkins: The following bout is scheduled for one fall and is for the XHF JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!
Randy: A fight for bragging rights, a fight of representation for two companies, Wrestle UK versus JROK.
Hawke: Absolutely correct partner. Tonight these two are fighting not only for the covenant Junior Heavyweight gold, but the right to call their company, their wrestling promotion, the best!
Randy: Eron Hunter has shown in defenses he can take it to the limit, defying gravity, competing with the likes of Marty and former champion, Bloodied Fox. Rin Kubo will have need of her best performance tonight, if she wishes to beat the champion.
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing the challenger! Representing JROK, hailing from Kawasaki, Kanazawa, JAPAN! She weighed in this evening at 143 pounds, and is the Heavy Hitter of the stable Sky Force! Ladies and gentlemen it is my destinct honor to introduce – RIN KUBO!
Rin Kubo comes down as the SKY Force theme plays. Bruised and battered from the events of Raison D'etre 3, she makes her way to the ring and stands proudly in her corner.
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing the champion! Representing Wrestle UK, hailing from Sicily, Italy! He weighed in this evening at 200 pounds, and is the reigning XHF JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! Known as the ‘Lynx’ of Wrestle UK – ERON HUNTER!
[“Long Walk Home” by Howl Trance begins playing through the arena. ]
Hawke: An epic about to unfold here before our very eyes.
Randy: Epic is a strong word for these two.
Hawke: Respect is given when it’s earned partner. Eron Hunter has gained that by winning and defending his XHF Junior Heavyweight championship.
Randy: You’re too easily impressed. Tonight, we see what he’s capable of with a Japanese strike specialist opposite him.
XHF Junior Heavyweight Championship
Singles Match
Eron Hunter© vs Rin Kubo
Singles Match
Eron Hunter© vs Rin Kubo
DING! DING! DING!
The bell sounds starts the match and sends Eron Hunter and Rin Kubo circling the ring opposite another. Rin Kubo goes for the grapple and Eron obliges, both tangling their arms together as they jockey for the advantage. Rin places his foot on the foot of Eron, hoping to spin him around and hip flip Hunter, but Hunter turns it into an arm drag, sending Rin across the canvas and to the feet near the corner. Kubo presses for Eron to come forward, Hunter doesn’t though, and stands firm in the center of the ring.
Hawke: As cautious as the night is long, Eron Hunter does not take the bait.
Randy: shows he is learning from past mistakes.
Hawke: Nothing gets past you Randall.
Rin comes at Eron for another grapple and Eron hooks the waist, sliding behind Rin and grabbing the right wrist and putting on a hammerlock. Rin drops to a knee, placing it firmly on Eron’s right foot before rolling him over and breaking the hold. She locks on a headlock and the two rise to their feet. Eron pushes her forward and sends her into the ropes as he escapes the headlock, leap frogging Kubo on the rebound, dropping to his stomach as she crosses the ring once more. Leaping up and catching Kubo on the chin with a stiff uppercut that knocks her to the canvas! Eron goes for the pinfall immediately.
1!
2–
Kicking out, Kubo returns to her base as does Hunter and the two circle for a moment before meeting one another for another grapple. Kubo this time gets the advantage as she takes to Eron’s back, two quick strikes to the right side under his arm. Kubo grabs Eron by the neck, planting both knees into his spine as she drops backwards to the canvas and in one quick blink sends him bouncing off her knees and into the air before crashing to the mat. Rin rushes to hit the ropes and comes back with a kamikaze elbow that puts most of her body on the chest as the elbow lands! Rin with a cover!
1!
2–
Shoulder shooting off the canvas and Eron rolls to the ropes. Kubo catches him with a knee to the gut, putting everything she has into it before gripping both arms for a Tiger driver!
Randy: Stealing his move set!
Hawke: Think that move is free use for whenever someone capable can land it.
Randy: Sure shows me a lack of respect from Rin Kubo.
Rin lifts Eron up, stalling as she spins around and lets out a sound as she musters the strength to twist Eron’s body before letting go of an arm and dropping— No Eron uses his arm to post on her thigh and arm drags her instead! Both competitors race to their feet, dropkick to the chin of Hunter! Kubo seemingly scouting the move and knowing where Eron would be. She puts all of her weight on his chest again with a senton splash, before using the ropes and springing herself up to drop a knee on his head.
Hawke: A brutal offense that is not giving the Champ time to breath. You can tell Rin Kubo has watched the film and prepared for Hunter.
Randy: Did you expect anything less?
Hawke: I’m surprised is all. Rin is very capable and has shown so in the past. Tonight she could put that exclamation mark on her name and win over this audience.
Rin mounts Hunter and strikes the champion with punch after punch, not giving a second for recovery. Hunter finally blocks with his elbows and grabs her by the neck before flipping her over his shoulders. A slight delay in his ascent, holding his chest, Eron takes a big step forward before running and springboarding off the ropes and spins in the air landing a high knee to the forehead of Kubo!
Randy: That’s going to leave a knot in the morning.
Hawke: Kubo is laid out! Eron going for the cover!
Hooking the leg, Eron rolls his weight over on her chest and the referee slides in for the count.
1!
2!
3-
Rope break! Eron rolls over thinking the match is over but the referee points to the hand of Kubo holding the bottom rope. The JROK star had the ring awareness to save her energy and the match. Lacking an iota of focus lost, Hunter picks up Kubo and uppercuts her once, sending her staggering into the center of the ring. The lights may be on but nobody appears to be home as Kubo puts up her arms but doesn’t shield her face. Eron runs to the ropes, ducks her wild swing, before flipping upside down, using his hands and hitting the ropes behind her with his back. Now backwards, Eron uses the ropes momentum to land on his feet and spring into the air as he goes for a spinning elbow smash!
Hawke: Countered by Kubo!
Randy: An armbar lock, no!
Hawke: Into a cross face submission!
Rin wrenches back as she clenched on the submission hold, having taken Eron down just shy of the middle of the ring. His elbow smash left his opposite arm wide open and with a bit of playing possum, Rin manages to catch the champion off guard!
Randy: Eron might tap!
Hawke: He’s pushing with his free arm, hoping to reach the bottom rope! Will it be enough?
Rin regrips her hold, a moment that turns out to work against her as Hunter tucks his chin and her new grip goes to his forehead. Eron rocks his body right, then left, and with a handful of her knee he rolls to the right just as his head slips out of the cross face and rolls her over onto her shoulders, using his legs to lock her left arm and uses his arms to hold down her right arm for a pin!
1!
2!
3-
Hawke: KICKOUT!
Randy: That was so close I couldn’t tell if it was over or not!
Both competitors lay on the canvas for what feels like minutes, but only a mere twenty seconds go by. Eron shows the first signs of life as he pushes himself up to his knees, hair hanging down in his face, looking at Rin Kubo like a predator wanting to put down its prey and feast. Hunter is up and goes to the slowly rising Rin, grabbing her by the neck and left arm. Rin shoved Eron away, striking a chop at his midsection. Eron hits her across the upper chest with a shin kick. Rin falls to her knees, swaying as she puts up her forearms to block the next kick. Eron instead hits the ropes without taking his eyes off her and comes running towards her looking to use momentum and force as he lifts his right knee and stops?!
Hawke: Hunter fakes out Rin, stopping as she ducks her head to the mat to avoid the knee attack she thought was comings.
Randy: She had that shining wizard scouted that we have seen Eron use before.
Hawke: Front dropkick instead!
Randy: Rin is spaghetti noodles on the kitchen floor!
Hunter lifts Kubo from the mat, fans rising from their feet as he ticks her head and hooks her arms.
Hawke: Rising Star Suplex!
Rin counters halfway though and drops back to her feet, lifting Eron up and back body dropping him as she rises up, using her shoulders and freeing her left arm to do so. Eron hits the canvas and rolls towards the ropes, Rin staggers as she regains her equilibrium. Eron uses the ropes and pulls himself up, turning to see Rin coming at him for the Burning Sword!
Hawke: Kubo goes all in with her trademark lariat!
Ducked by Hunter who shoulder rolls to the right of Rin as she hits the ropes chest first. Rin is slung backwards from the ropes as Eron’s roll turns into him jumping to the middle rope diagonal of his opponent, springboarding backwards as he spins and hits his own Rising Star Lariat! Rin is hit from the side in the neck and jaw, spinning upside down and landing awkwardly on the side of her face and shoulder! Eron sprawls to her, rolling Rin to her back and hooking both legs for the cover as he leans his back on her upper body.
1!
2!
3!
Fans erupt as the Wrestle UK representative pulls off a successful defense and the bell sounds! Eron drops the legs and rolls over to his knees, looking up to the heavens. A hard fought battle seen in the sweat dripping off his brow. The referee presents the XHF Junior Heavyweight championship to Hunter and raises his right arm, all while Eron remains on his knees feet away from the JROK challenger.
Bonnie Jenkins: Winner of this match and STILL XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion! ERON HUNTER!
Hawke: Our next match up is a Mongo-approved cluster of a match.
Randy: That's right Hawke. Kingsley Solomon of the Harbingers put out a challenge for the very best 4-man group in the XHF to come to their home turf and battle for supremacy. At Supremacy mind you! And who picked up that challenge? Only the best 4-man group in the XHF! Natural Selection!
Hawke: Wait... aren't you... you're supposed to be in the match Randy!
Randy: Yes, and thankfully the Trons donated this teleportation device to get me there lickity split!
Randy pushes a button on his watch and he teleports out of his seat.
Hawke: Well, we now throw it over to Aleister Mayfield of SCCW to commentate the match. Folks, please turn your attention to the XtremeTron. This match is being broadcast live from Sin City, Las Vegas. Take it away!
Fed Warfare - Hosted by SCCW
4v4 Elimination Tag Match
The Harbingers vs Natural Selection
4v4 Elimination Tag Match
The Harbingers vs Natural Selection
We fade back to Hawke and Randy. Randy is sweating and throwing back booze.
Hawke: What a match! That was hard-hitting and brutal in ways only SCCW can deliver in!
Randy: *buuuuuuuurp*
Hawke: Up next fans we have a grudge match that we have all been waiting for-
Randy: Too many basic feuds get that grudge moniker – but eat a man’s wife? You had better believe that counts as serious bad blood!
Hawke: Another chapter in the ongoing rivalry between GUNS and CAR – normally we like to provide impartial third party commentary for these interpromotional fed wars – but since the contest is for the XHF Phoenix championship – we have no choice but to turn announcing over to the GUNS crew.
Randy: Take it away Magnus!
The camera pans fifteen feet to the left of Hawke, where the Spanish announce table has been taken over by GUNS.
Magnus: What is HE doing here?
Zoran Sainovic: No one can deny zat La Authentico Wombat is guaranteed a spot in ze XHF Hall of Fame, but for all his decades of incredible athleticism it is only in ze past few months as struggling single father zat he really captured ze fans hearts. I too have been taken in by zis plucky widower, and wouldn’t miss a chance to see him get revenge.
Magnus: Don’t you have a title loss to prepare for?
Zoran Sainovic: What will happen, will happen. I became ze X*Crown champion because I love wrestling – and it doesn’t get more wrestling zan watching an anthropomorphic marsupial pay tribute to his dead wife by attacking a zombie dinosaur zree times his size.
Phillips: Hard to argue with that. ...Greetings XHF fans. I’m Tom Phillips, joined by GUNS owner Magnus, and former GUNS commissioner Zoran Sainovic. At our Halloween return, the wrestling world was horrified to watch Dinosaur Bones swallow Mrs. Wombat alive on his way to winning the XHF Phoenix championship for rival promotion CAR.
All three men spit at the mention of CAR’s name.
Phillips: L.A. Wombat would have no problem defeating Dinosaur Bones – in his Demonic Venom guise. Sadly before she passed away, Mrs. Wombat made her husband promise that he would stop dabbling in the dark arts of possession. Wombat has taken her last wish to heart, and avoided soul selling Venom hijinks...
Magnus: Letting GUNS down – what is a little black magic or eternal damnation if it means getting us the Phoenix back from those CAR clowns?
Phillips: ...without a way of defending himself, GUNS was reluctant to let Wombat into the ring with Bones- but Sainovic’s last act, as commissioner was to sign this defence for Supremacy.
Magnus: Arranged a snuff video is more like it-
Zoran Sainovic: Have a little faith-
Magnus: I know you’ll have a lot of free time on your hand after the main event, but are you going to take the Wombat kids in when your booking turns them into orphans?
Phillips: I’ve heard the octuplets are a real handful...
As the X*Crown champ goes wide eyed at the terrifying sitcom possibilities of him taking the massive Wombat family in, the camera pans up to the ring where Bonnie Jenkins stands ready to begin introductions.
Bonnie Jenkins: The following fed warfare is a GRUDGE MATCH for the XHF Phoenix championship!
The Demonic Venom chants start early.
Bonnie Jenkins: Entering first, the challenger, representing GUNS – he stands at 5’7”, weighs in at 205lbs, and comes to us from Warwick, Queensland... a loving father of twelve, who is great with kids, and recently single – ladies give some noise for-
LAAAA AUTHENTICO WOOOOOMBAAAAAT!!!!
“Praise You” by Fatboy Slim starts to pump over the PA system, as a video package of the Wombat’s loving relationship plays over the tron. Unfortunately most of the existing footage consists of Mrs. Wombat yelling at L.A. to stop working on holidays, her feet kicking up in the air as Bones swallows her whole, and Marty Donovan’s pirate broadcasts ruining tribute matches. As the domestic arguments aren’t good television, the video package is more legs kicking and interruptions than the late wife herself.
Phillips: Is Bonnie trying to play matchmaker for Wombat?
Zoran Sainovic: Is love in ze air? No better time zan to plug ze second half of our season, GUNS returns on Valentine’s Day!
Phillips: She never tries to hook me up!
Magnus: You’re a registered sex offender, Tom. Where is she going to write your number? The bathroom of an elementary school.
Out of the back walks L.A. Wombat to a lot of catcalls from the crowd. Fortunately Wombat is backed up by the GUNS regular army – Unboxed Ken, UrsusLa the man-eating bear, and “The Buckeye Bruiser” Redmond Fury. The addition of Fury is particularly important as the wall of muscle has the bulk of the underwear and flowers thrown his way – gestures of affection that might be a distraction for the star that is clearly in grieving. L.A. Wombat seems uncomfortable with the entrance, possibly the first time he has gotten a theme song in years.
Bonnie Jenkins: And his opponent, the XHF Phoenix champion, representing CAR...
Billie Joel’s You’re Only Human (Second Wind) starts to play over the PA system, as the lights go down. An engine hums.
Bonnie Jenkins: Coming to us from the Le Brea Tar Pits, in Los Angeles, California – weighing four tons, and standing at nine feet tall- tremble in fear of...
“The Dread Lord”
DINOSAUR
BONESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!
The Dominicruiser comes speeding through the back curtains, with Lord Dominicus behind the wheel. Big Bone and “Tumbleweed” Bill Stokes hang on for dear life, while Dinosaur Bones rides on the hood like some horrific ornament. As always the dracolich sings along to Joel, but when he says “Only Human” it sounds like more of a threat.
Phillips: Bones coming out with his Bad to the Bone entourage-
Zoran Sainovic: Owing to injures suffered at ze hands of Kanyon, I wasn’t able to promote Supremacy with ze enthusiasm I had wanted too – specifically, I wasn’t able to give Raiden Ishimori ze attention he deserved. I mention him now, because I zink Raiden has gone as far as he can with ze Harbingers – X*Crown or not, Bone Cold should join ze Dominicus Bone themed society.
Phillps: The name fits.
The CAR and GUNS athletes crowd around ringside like a lumberjack match, while Bones and L.A. stare each other down in the ring.
XHF Phoenix Championship
Grudge Match
Dinosaur Bones© vs La Authentico Wombat
Grudge Match
Dinosaur Bones© vs La Authentico Wombat
DING! DING! DING!
Phillips: There’s the bell, and undead lizard and living marsupial just starring each other down.
Magnus: Best to avoid action for as long as possible, so that on paper this doesn’t look like a five second feeding frenzy.
While the participants size each other up, outside the ring BEEF jumps over the railing and shoves Redmond Fury into Bill Stokes. The elderly cowboy is sent flying by the Buckeye Bruiser’s muscular frame – which is just the spark needed to ignite the powder keg at ringside.
Phillips: Inside the ring, Bones and Wombat sizing each other up – while outside we have a pier six brawl!
Zoran Sainovic: Give zem hell, GUNS! Unload on zose petrol heads!
While Fury brawls with BEEF, the other GUNS pair off with their Bad to the Bone rivals. Picking up where their REIGN six-man tag left off, Unboxed Ken and Big Bone trade massive right hands. Unfortunately for Lord Dominicus, he is left with UrsusLa the Man Eating Bear. The brains behind the B2tB crew – LD dominithinks for half a second, before jumping in the Dominicruiser and driving away chased by bear. Actually angling the vehicle around the guardrails at ringside requires a degree of handling not previously seen in CAR, and as he slows down to avoid scratching the finish, the bear keeps catching up with the driver’s side window. It’s rather distracting. In between avoiding being eaten himself, LD accidentally runs into BEEF and Fury – who continue to brawl on the hood of the car.
Phillips: Everyone hopeless distracted by the- whoa there- he almost hit the announcer’s table.
Zoran Sainovic: It’s a hard turn, fitting racing into a wrestling world.
Phillips: You sure have a lot of ex-spouses at tonight’s event, Magnus.
Magnus: Yeah, but Fury is the only one trying to make it all about him – what a glory hound.
Phillips: The only ones not looking at this circus are the champion and challenger – who have their eyes, locked on one another in hatred.
Zoran Sainovic: Zat is what it takes to be a champion, no distractions.
Not wanting the chaos to have the match thrown out, referee Eugene Oregon says something to the timekeeper. A moment later a dozen security guards race down the aisle.
Bonnie Jenkins: Referee Oregon has declared that all CAR and GUNS personnel not directly involved in the contest are banned from ringside!
Security start corralling the dominicruiser, and by extension the hit-and-run victims on top of it, and the hungry bear behind it – away from the ring. While trying to break up Unboxed Ken and Big Bone, however, the two men’s animosity is enough that their brawl spills over a guardrail into the audience. The camera follows the bloody fisticuffs as long as it can before they disappear into a sea of flashbulbs.
Phillips: GUNS and CAR removed – letting us focus on the action.
Magnus: That is too bad, I figured a run-in was the only way Wombat would avoid being reunited with his wife. Now?
Zoran Sainovic: I believe in him.
L.A. Wombat: You’ll pay for what you did to my Betty.
Dinosaur Bones: MY ONLY REGRET IS THAT THERE WASN’T MORE OF HER...
Growling in rage, Wombat charges at the dracolich – jumping to hit a double axe handle chop. Bones responds with a tail swipe, that hits L.A. so hard it knocks him clear out of the ring. Eugene Oregon counts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5- before Wombat slowly rolls back under the ropes.
L.A. Wombat: ...take that back...
Dinosaur Bones: SHE WAS A SMALL MORSEL – EVEN FOR AN APE, NO MEAT ON HER BONES.
Again Wombat charges forward, swinging up to barely connect forearm shots with Bones’ jaw. The flurry of offence is greeted with another tail swipe, which again catches Wombat hard enough in the chest to send him careening over the top rope, crashing hard on the floor. Eugene Oregon counts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7- before a half-dead looking Wombat once again climbs into the ring.
L.A. Wombat: ...you... son... of... a...
Dinosaur Bones: UNDERWEIGHT, YOU MUST NOT HAVE BEEN A VERY EFFECTIVE HUNTER TO HER GATHERER.
Wombat charges in with a spear, which leaves Bones unmoved. A series of shouldertackles follow, but the dracolich doesn’t budge, and he seems to be holding Wombat upright more than effecting the Dread Lord.
Dinosaur Bones: MY BREADBASKET REMAINS UNHARMED, WHICH AGAIN GOES TO YOUR BREADWINNING SKILLS.
L.A. Wombat: You piece of-
Another tail swipe knocks Wombat out of the ring, this time into the forth row of the audience. They fortunately catch him. Eugene Oregon counts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5- sadly the crowd start to pass him back towards the ring, like it was an act of kindness. Eugene Oregon 6, 7, 8... face blown up like a jellyfish, perhaps owing to an orbital bone fracture, L.A. Wombat starts to crawl under the bottom rope.
Zoran Sainovic: For ze love of god Wombat, turn into Demonic Venom!
L.A. Wombat (spitting blood): NEVER!
Staggering into the ring, Wombat can barely stand, but does manage to hit a series of palm strikes in a manner that almost looks like drunken boxing.
Dinosaur Bones: ALL THIS EXERCISE IS GOING TO MAKE THE MEAT TOUGHER, WOULDN’T YOU RATHER BE TENDER LIKE YOUR FLESHLING CO-DEPENDENT? THIS BETTY?
L.A. Wombat (still throwing weak punches): YOU DON’T GET TO SAY HER NAME!
Dinosaur Bones: REST ASSURED, SHE’S ON MY LIPS.
Exploding with anger, Wombat stars to get some real force behind his shots – but also leaves himself open to a forth tail swipe. This time, fortunately, the timekeeper’s table catches him. Unfortunately, it collapses under the weight, and soon Wombat finds himself covered in blood from a hundred splinters, and wearing the metal frame as a blanket. Oregon again begins his ten count, as a hush falls over the crowd.
Zoran Sainovic: I believe zat Wombat can stand up to Bones, but if he wants to do it head on? He’s going to need zat horrible ghoul Venom’s help.
Phillips: At this rate? It looks less like wrestling and more like assisted suicide.
Magnus: Trying to join his wife. I always called Wombat my million-dollar baby...
Phillips: Just stay down! YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!
Magnus: I’m thinking of not running a show on National Arbor Day, so you can spend it with your kids. Wouldn’t that be nice? But they’ll be spending it with me if you don’t STAY DOWN.
The crowd pops hard as a bloody hand rises from the table. Fingernails almost snap off as La Authenico drags himself across the concrete floor back towards the ring. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9... 10- before the ten can be finished, a bloody arm is thrown under the bottom rope.
Dinosaur Bones: HOW REFINED. NO ONE WILL ACCUSE YOU OF BEING FAST FOOD, FLESHLING.
Barely able to stand, Wombat instead drags himself across the canvas, leaving a bloody trail like a snail in his wake. Bones checks an imaginary watch on his skeletal wrist, to play up the crowd how long this is taking. The imaginary watch was a rolex, by the way. As Wombat uses Bones massive leg to climb upright, the Dinosaur checks the air with his index claw and then points to the 25th row.
Zoran Sainovic: Bones calling his shot – like Babe Ruth!
As Wombat gets upright, Bones spins for another hellacious tail swipe- only this time, L.A. ducks under it. Spitting mad, Bones points at the 30th row, deciding to make his meal suffer for this act of defiance. The Dread Lord swings again – only this time, Wombat leapfrogs over it. Too irritated to point to the rafters, which is DEFINITELY what he was going to do next, Bones instead spins a third time.
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This time Wombat jumps on the tail, uses it to hop over to the top rope, then springboards off with a flying forearm smash which actually staggers the beast.
Zoran Sainovic: GO ‘BAT!
Magnus: Don’t make him mad, Wombat!
Phillips: Flying forearm connects with that crack in the nose that Fury gave him, and the Dread Lord FELT IT.
Trying to rub his nose with his tiny arms, Bones responds with a MASSIVE BOOT, which knocks Wombat off him. The force sends L.A. into the ropes, which he immediately rebounds off of. Bones tries to go for another boot, but Wombat rolls under, dives into the ropes, and springboards off with another forearm shot to the same crack. If Bones was more of a cartoon, steam would shoot out of the holes where his ears used to be. Steam shoots out of the holes where Bones’ ears used to be.
Zoran Sainovic: HE’S DOING IT!
Phillips: And without selling his soul to the satanic monster that is Venom!
Magnus: I never thought I’d see it!
The match quickly turns into a race, with Bones hitting kicks and stomps, but Wombat mostly keeping ahead of those deadly jaws and countering with fast strikes when opportunities arise.
Phillips: Given the beating he took at the start, I’m not sure how long Wombat can keep this up-
Zoran Sainovic: He just has to maintain energy longer zan ze larger Bones-
Phillips: Isn’t Bones like two billion years old? No one has stamina like him.
Zoran Sainovic: RUN WOMBAT!
Phillips: Despite both wrestlers getting a lot of hits in now, we still haven’t seen an attempt at a cover-
Magnus: Wombat is here for revenge, and Bones has never been overly concerned with the wrestling aspect of his persona... even as the champion, his pins are accidental.
Zoran Sainovic: Bones has defeated me and Dylan Black more times zan anyone else... all with zose damned accidental pins, and I don’t zink ze vicious brute is aware of it.
Magnus: Point is this match isn’t ending until one of these men can’t continue, probably because they are having a second honeymoon in the other’s stomach.
Getting confident after an EARTHQUAKE, Bones once again call his shot – row 79, seat 14B. Going to his bread and butter, L.A. reaches up, grabbing the outstretched tiny t-rex arm, and pulling it into a wristlock. Incensed, Bones leans in to bite, but this lets Wombat go slack – throwing off the balance, and having both men hit the canvas with a spinning drop wristlock.
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Phillips: WOMBAT ACTUALLY GETS BONES OFF HIS FEET!
Magnus: Uh oh, Bones looks pissed.
Breaking the wristlock like he was actually a professional wrestler, Bones kips up – defying the laws of gravity with the aid of his skeletal balloon tail. The crowd, who were pumped, immediately die as the CAR mechanic turns to the underdog with a hungry look in his eye. Wombat scrambles away as Bones starts chomping in a feeding frenzy.
Zoran Sainovic: No longer concerned with pretending zis is an athletic contest, ze champion now leaving bite marks in ze canvas as he tries to swallow ze challenger whole.
Phillips: OH N- that was close.
Magnus: Wombat grabbing Bones tail to be dragged away from the jaws – it’s a desperation move, but how long can he stay ahead of a murderous bite?
Realizing that he’s chasing his own tail, Bones stops dead in his tracks – braces himself, then flicks his tail upward. The move loosens Wombat’s grip, sending him flying a good fifteen feet above the ring- eventually gravity intervenes, allowing Wombat to safely fall back towards the waiting maw of Bones.
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Phillips: I can’t watch-
Magnus: I hope you’re happy, Zoran!
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Getting his legs out, Wombat has a foot on either side of Bones jaw – barely able to maintain balance as razor sharp teeth open and close, but standing on top of the hell portal. It takes all of Wombat’s energy to avoid falling straight down Bones throat, the stance so awkward that he can’t jump away.
Zoran Sainovic: BECOME VENOM!
L.A. Wombat: NO!!!!!!
Zoran Sainovic: Ze brave fool-
Phillips: Tell me when it’s over.
Magnus: I think I’m going to be sick.
#VROOM#
With most of security leaving ringside to escort the GUNS Regular Army and Bad to the Bone crew away, there is less of a presence policing the fans. One former CAR employee is in the audience, and uses this opening to jump the guardrail ...literally.
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JUNIOR the CAR, the Porsche that has become demonically possessed by the ghost of Dinosaur Bones’ child – the one the dracolich ate at the 2022 Rumble, uses an overturned guardrail like a ramp to Dukes of Hazard jump out of the audience – and try to leap over the ring. The fact that he’s a ghost probably helps with the flight. The vehicle charges like a rocket over the ring – towards Dinosaur Bones head.
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It seems to just miss decapitating the beast, but maybe brushes against the Dread Lord?
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As Bones starts to turn his head, Wombat leaps from the mouth onto the car roof, then uses it as a platform to jump even higher – getting a good twenty five feet up in the air. The car lands in the audience, shocking not running over a hundred people as it lands.
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The Dread Lord collapses to the canvas like a Dry Bones in Super Mario World.
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Wombat struggles to get even higher, flailing his arms about before gravity kicks in-
Zoran Sainovic: SENTON BOMB!!!!!!!
Phillips: Wombat might be unconscious too, but he lands on top!
ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DING! DING! DING!
Bonnie Jenkins: Wait, really?
Magnus: WHAT JUST HAPPENED!
Phillips: He did it! He somehow managed to avoid being eaten!
Bonnie Jenkins: The winner of this match... and NEW PHOENIX CHAMPION...
LA AUTHENTICA WOMBAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The crowd burst with approval for this ultimate underdog victory. Getting away from security, the entire GUNS locker room that I have permission to use spill out of the back towards the ring.
Phillips: Did Bones get run over by a CAR?
Magnus: Junior the Car, formerly of MOTHER, no longer employed with them- so he wasn’t on securities radar when all the CAR and GUNS performers were removed. Lucky that.
Phillips: But we’ve seen Bones run over by cars before and he never has a reaction that bad.
Zoran Sainovic: I can explain zat- can we get a replay.
Footage of the car flying next to Bones’ head is shown again. A close-up reveals that hanging off the rear view mirror is a ladies handbag. The car misses, but the bag hits Bones right in the nose.
Phillips: A woman’s purse!
Zoran Sainovic: Still ze deadliest of ze twenty seven weapons when it comes to professional wrestling. Bones is going to be out for a while.
The GUNS crew lift Wombat up on their shoulders, letting him celebrate his championship win in style.
Magnus: He won the fake Phoenix title more often than any other wrestler, but it’s nice to see Wombat finally get an XHF branded title.
Zoran Sainovic: It has been a long time coming. And just like GUNS screwed GUNS at ze REIGN showdown, tonight CAR screwed CAR.
Phillips: I’d pay to see that.
Magnus: Shut up, Tom.
As the GUNS stars start to carry Wombat out, La Authentico notices something out of the corner of his eye. Fingers moving just outside of Bones’ mouth. Wide eyed, the new Phoenix champion pushes his friends aside, and starts running back to the ring.
Phillips: Wait, is that?
Zoran Sainovic: She’s alive!
Phillips: OH MY GOD SHE IS!
Magnus: Hey, if Fury can survive inside a bear, then Mrs. Wombat can definitely outlast whatever the hell Bones is.
Just like the end of Ghostbusters when Sigourney Weaver gets pulls out of the Gozer husk. Dropping the belt, Wombat slides into the ring and grabs the hand. Overcome with joy, he frantically reaches into Bones mouth and starts to pull the love of his life out. Miracles do come true.
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No sooner does Wombat pull the figure out, then he notices something sharp in his stomach.
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Is that a shiv?
Vile “Vince” Viper: Sorry Wombat, but your princess is in another cassstle.
No longer covered in feathers, the Dirty Byrd that is VVV emerges from the beast’s mouth, trusty shiv in hand.
Magnus: Oh no...
Zoran Sainovic: HE’S BACK! If he still has a GUNS contract, it’s safe to say your life is really going to suck, Magnus.
Wombat falls over, bleeding out in the ring. Over him, TripleV cackles fiendishly at his newfound freedom...
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At least until Dinosaur Bones eats him again.
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Zoran Sainovic: Congo is ze luckiest man alive.
There is a bump of the headset, as Zoran Sainovic races into the ring to check on the bloody Wombat. A little disoriented, but happy with his meal – Dinosaur Bones stalks off, chasing a few GUNS wrestlers in his wake.
Zoran Sainovic: We need a medic!
As paramedics race out to check on Wombat, the camera pans back to the announce desk.
Phillips: Wombat is the new Phoenix champion, but he doesn't look like much of a winner right now.
Magnus: Paramedics coming out, but I’m sure it was just a scratch. Looking forward to a new era of GUNS without the hated CAR holding our top singles title! And when Zoran drops the strap later, that is a pink slip that has been burning a hole in my pocket.
Phillips: For Magnus, I’m Tom Phillips, and we are GUNS – throwing it back over to Joey and Randy!
Bonnie Jenkins: Ladies and gentlemen... the following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Bonnie Jenkins: And is a First Stab match. The first competitor to get stabbed loses.
The lights go out as the beginning of "Bow Down" by I Prevail plays through the PA system, as a circle of flames erupts on the stage. Through the flames, slowly emerges Spike Kane as he fully emerges, the song kicks in.
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing first, he is the God of Xtreme, weighing in at 225 pounds, Spike Kane!
”GET ON YOUR KNEES AND BOW DOWN!!!"
Spike steps through the flames and heads to the ring, taking off his jacket as he prepares for a fight.
Hawke: I can’t believe Spike is out here right now.
Randy: Of course he is out here. He’s the God of Xtreme.
Hawke: Yeah, but even a God would have a tough time after being hit by a car, wrestling a hardcore match, and now he could potentially be stabbed!
Randy: This is how legends are made.
Hawke: He’s already a legend Randy. There’s no shame on backing down here!
”HOOOOOOOOOOOOWL”
“All rise fore the king of all wolves now arrives.”
Bonnie Jenkins: His opponent, weighing in at 180 pounds, he is El Rey!
The voice of James Earl Mother Fucking Jones echos over the speakers. How did he get James Earl Jones to say that? It wasn’t a Cameo I’ll tell you that and it cost a pretty penny. Shortly after James Earl Jones speaks Big Sean’s “Wolves” begins to play. El Rey strolls onto the stage wearing the mask he stole off of the head of El Combatiente. He looks around soaking up there surroundings before ripping the mask off of his head and revealing his cocky smirk he inherited from his father. He strolls down the ramp ignoring the outstretched hands of the fans until he reaches the ring. At ringside he leaps up onto the apron and then over the ropes and spins around in the ring with his arms outstretched. He spins around a couple times and then moves to the corner waiting for the match to begin.
Hawke: This kid is fresh and dangerous. He’s already stabbed Spike once and even stabbed the king of the knife Zoran Sainovic.
Randy: Yeah, but has he beat Zoran like I have? No.
Fed Warfare
First Stab Match
Spike Kane vs El Rey
First Stab Match
Spike Kane vs El Rey
Both men stand across from each other. Spike clearly looks worse for wear after earlier events. El Rey throws up his arms and yells.
El Rey: Do you really want to do this?
Spike grits his teeth and shakes his head yes.
El Rey: You sure? I don’t want to end you like this?
Spike charges ignoring the warnings and goes to grab El Rey, but El Rey ducks and moves behind Spike. El Rey quickly moves to his waistband and produces a knife and dogs it into the side of Spike.
Winner via stabbing: El Rey
Hawke: And just like that it’s over.
Randy: The match or his career?
Hawke: Maybe both.
The ref kneels down to check on Spike, but El Rey grabs him and tosses him aside.
Hawke: That’s going to be a fine.
Randy: Don’t know how much money his family has? If not he’ll tell you. He doesn’t care about a fine.
El Rey: Is this what you wanted Spike? You’ve been to hell and back and this is how you end it?
El Rey lunges and stabs Spike again, and again. Blood begins to spill onto the mat and puddle up. Stage crew and refs begin to swarm the ring, but El Rey swings around his knife and everyone back off.
El Rey: This isn’t my fault Spike. This is on you! I didn’t want to do this. You made me do this. You made me! You were the God of Xtreme, now I’m the God of the God of Xtreme!
With that, El Rey drops and rolls out of the ring and the refs and ring crew quickly slide in to help Spike Kane.
Hawke: Wow. I can’t believe what I just saw.
Randy: I’m not sure why, he trained under Zoran for months.
Hawke: Yeah, but this, it was just unnecessary.
Bonnie Jenkins: This match is set for one fall and is a King of the Mountain Death Match for the Two Kingdoms Championship! Introducing first the challenger, in the red corner standing in at 5’1 and weighing in at 122 pounds. From Asahikawa, Hokkaido, Japan she is Shizuku Yamamoto! And his opponent in the blue corner, standing in at 6’5 and weighing in at 235 pounds, from the depths of Hell, he is the REIGNING DEFENDING TWO KINGDOMS CHAMPION! He is Psychotic Goth!
Two Kingdom's Championship
King of the Mountain Deathmatch
Psychotic Goth© vs Shizuku Yamamoto
King of the Mountain Deathmatch
Psychotic Goth© vs Shizuku Yamamoto
Hawke: It is time for WUK and J-RoK to do what they do best and put on a stellar interfed match!
Randy: Oh gee this looks straight out of Kira's wettest dreams Hawke!
The fans were on their feet as the two enigmas squared up in the center of the ring, weapons ranging from scythes and swords to light tubes arrayed around the ring. Yamamoto moves in slowly towards the smirking Goth who delivers a hard slap across her face. The fans boo, and Yamamoto staggers back grabbing at her cheek, before she goes for a slap of her own. But Goth bats it aside, and delivers another.
Yamamoto staggers back, and Goth grabs her arm to fling her at the ropes. But Yamamoto comes off the rebound, and drops Goth with a dropkick off the ropes! Goth staggers back, and Yamamoto charges in to deliver a spinning heel kick that rocks him against the ropes. Then she fires off another, and Goth shakes his head before he is sent to the outside with a dropkick!
Hawke: Goth to the floor!
Randy: J-RoK's Yamamoto is ready to turn this into a title win for SKY Force!
The fans cheer, and Yamamoto runs back across the ring to dive to the outside with a suicide dive at the rising King of All Goths!
But Goth moves aside, and she barrels into the barricade to a chorus of boos! Goth grabs a light tube from ringside, and cracks it across her head as she turns dust and shattered glass flying. Blood runs down her face, and he drives her against the barricade as he delivers punch after punch.
Then he glares around and sees a stack of light tubes, nodding slowly as he drags Yamamoto over to them. RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP!
Randy: Ooooooh! The King of All Goths doing what he does best!
Glass is everywhere, and Yamamoto arches in pain before rolling away bleeding. Goth sprawls, and slowly rises as blood and glass fall from his back as he shakes his head. Yamamoto is on her feet though, and hits the Reality Shift!
Goth is dropped back into the glass, and Yamamoto slides to her feet with a shake of her head before rising to dust off the glass. She looks around, and then grabs a scythe from the weapons as she turns to stalk towards the rising Goth.
Hawke: Normally it is Rin Kubo of SKY Force who brandishes such weapons but tonight, Shizuku is going to have a go!
Randy: She's about to get her lethal weapon on! Wait, that's Goth's wife!
But Vampira spins her around, Goth’s wife grabbing for the weapon as the fans are cheering them on. Vampira rips it free, and swings it at Yamamoto the Scythe ripping a gouge in the barricade before it gets stuck.
Yamamoto wastes no time, grabbing Vampira to drop her with a DDT in the glass! Goth roars in an ancient dialect, and grabs her as she rises by the hair. He yells in her face, ranting and roaring in a lost tongue before he flings her back inside of the ring.
Goth climbs the turnbuckle, and stares down at Yamamoto before he hits the PURGATORY PLUNGE (Senton Bomb)! But he comes up empty as Yamamoto rolls aside, and the fans explode as she locks on the Torturer’s Kiss as he starts to rise!
Randy: Torturer's Kiss! Torturer's Kiss! This is her patented submission Hawke! She's ready to put an end to Goth tonight!
Hawke: You know all about how deadly that move is Randy!
Randy: Yessir! First hand experience on SKY Force being lethal submission experts! But they can't handle the Master of the Drunken Fist!
Goth flails, trying to break free as the fans are going wild! But he is trapped, and he grabs for the ropes and the ref before his hands close on a cheese grater slid inside by Vampira! He swings it wildly, cracking it across the back of Yamamoto several times before the hold is broken. Blood is everywhere as he comes back to his feet, leaning hard on the ropes. Yamamoto crawls across the ring, shaking her head before Goth charges at her. A few hard knees into her side and ribs before he hauls her backwards.
GERMAN SUPLEX!
And ANOTHER!
And then a THIRD!
Yamamoto sprawls on the mat, and Goth rolls her over with a boot before he plants a foot on her chest.
1…
2…
Yamamoto grabs his foot, ripping him off balance before she locks on the ankle lock! Goth flails, tearing at the mat as he drags her towards the ropes. The place is going wild, and the ref checks on Goth who shakes his head wildly before he forces himself to roll over. His foot snaps upwards, driving brutal kicks into Yamamoto who breaks the hold.
Hawke: Again with the brutal submissions by Yamamoto!
Goth is furious, limping as he grabs Yamamoto to fling her at the ropes once more. And he goes for the boot on the rebound, but stumbles as his ankle buckles! Yamamoto hits the running jumping butt bump and rolls back to her feet with a wave of her hands. Goth rises slowly, blood running from him before she catches him with a DDT onto the cheese grater!
The thing crumbles, and Goth sprawls on the mat as she looks around wildly before shoving back bloodsoaked hair. She leaps onto the turnbuckle, and fires off a moonsault!
1…
2….
GOTH KICKS OUT!
Randy: So close!
The fans groan, and Yamamoto looks stunned before she rolls to the outside. She grabs a chair from the front row, throwing it inside before she follows after it. And then she places it around Goth’s wounded ankle before climbing the ropes again. But Vampira grabs at her, climbing onto the apron! Yamamoto kicks her off, and the place is going wildly.
Goth charges in, cracking the chair across her head. Yamamoto sags from the top rope, and Goth laughs wildly as he holds the chair high. He drags Yamamoto from the ropes, letting her fall from the ropes before he storms around the ring. He throws down the chair, and drags her over to it.
Goth lines up for a DDT, and Yamamoto looks out cold as she sprawls there. Then Goth drags her off the chair, and goes for the GOTH TORTURE RACK!
Hawke: You were saying SKY Force are lethal submission experts, well Goth's Goth Torture Rack looks more painful than anything I've seen thus far!
Randy: Nonsense, I could get out of that easy!
The ref checks on Yamamoto who shakes her head wildly, and she flails around wildly before her hands wrap around that chair.
CRACK!
Goth crumbles, rolling aside as Yamamoto limps to her feet. And then she cracks that chair across the head of Vampira as she climbs onto the apron. Goth looks dazed as he starts back to his feet, but Yamamoto is on him!
ZUKU DEATH TRAP!
Randy: ZUKU DEATH TRAP!
Hawke: IT'S OVER!
The fans explode, and Goth flails for a minute before he suddenly stops. The ref checks, and lifts his arm to let it fall.
Once.
TWICE!
THREE TIMES!
DING DING DING!
Hawke: WE HAVE A NEW TWO KINGDOM'S CHAMPION!
Randy: SKY FORCE LOST A LOT OF GOLD AT RAISON D'ETRE 3, BUT SHIZUKU JUST BROUGHT SOME BACK HOME TONIGHT!
Bonnie Jenkins: The winner of this match and NEW TWO KINGDOMS CHAMPION, Shizuku Yamamoto!
Bonnie Jenkins: The following match is a DENNY’S PARKING LOT BRAWL! This match will only end when one of the two competitors is pinned, quits, or is knocked out and cannot be resuscitated!
A camera pans over a Denny’s location in the Denver, Colorado city limits. Bright lights are circled as the helicopter camera gets a wide shot of the busy parking lot of the famous American dinner chain, which was bustling with Denver locals as the XHF Supremacy event was under way.
Hawke: This following Supremacy matchup is a personal one.
Randy: Personal how so?
Hawke: Bloodied Fox made it personal with Marty Donovan. Tonight I don’t expect the happy go-lucky Marty that we all have seen and come to love.
Randy: Fox is a bonafide legend in the XHF from his Junior Heavyweight run. It’s going to be a fight for the ages.
From one side of the parking lot cuts the camera to show Bloodied Fox appear. A referee is standing mid parking lot as XHF officials keep fans in the vicinity at bay as Marty Donovan appears on the opposite side of the parking lot. A hush overcomes the fans, as they see both competitors wearing more street like clothes and wrapped fists for this brawl that is about to begin.
Hawke: And this one is underway!
Fed Warfare
Denny's Parking Lot Brawl
Marty Donovan vs Bloodied Fox
Denny's Parking Lot Brawl
Marty Donovan vs Bloodied Fox
Joey Hawke’s words come as Marty rushes at Bloodied Fox with swinging fists, slobber knocking the former JHF champion with rights before Fox gets one in on him. The two grab each other by the neck, trading punches as they back into a parked van. Fox gets Marty’s back to the van and begins slamming his head off the window. A right sails and Marty ducks it, Fox hits the window hard, grabbing his right hand with his free one. Marty slams Fox head first into the side mirror, taking it off the van!
A fan yells “That’s my van! WOOOO!”
Marty takes Fox by the head and slams him off the van hood, sending him rolling off the hood to the black top. Donovan goes for Fox and is shoved into the grill as Fox mounts Marty on the hood, using his weight to take Marty off his feet and pummel him with punches. Blood trickles from the forehead of Fox onto Marty’s face from the side mirro.
Randy: First blood goes to Marty!
Hawke: We knew this wasn’t going to be a technical match.
Randy: Sure isn’t. Never seen a Denny’s parking lot so busy.
Fox grabs the neck of Marty, posts up, and MONKEY FLIP! Marty is sent flying from the hood of the car to the parking lot ground! Fans “Oooooh” at the impact, watching Marty roll in pain as his back takes punishment. Fox however did not get off scotch free, taking some hurt on the offensive maneuver himself. Seething though, the madness he has been feeling seen in his eyes as blood flows through the right brow and discolors the eye to look bloodshot.
Hawke: Fox looks like a serial killer here.
Randy: And he’s acting like it.
Fox grabs the side mirror that was broken off and aims for the head of a rising Marty, smashing it upside his forehead as he turns. Marty staggers backwards into a bush. Marty is pulled from the bush by Fox and receives a knee to the chest, followed by a second one that is blocked. Marty grabs the hips and spikes Fox with a spike buster tackle onto the sidewalk!
Hawke: Ouch personified!
Randy: I felt that here in the arena.
Marty drops down and begins punching the face of Fox with lefts and rights. The taped fists of the Disney star Donovan begin to turn red as he splits the wound on Fox open more. Fox grabs the left arm and turns Donovan over to his side, struggling for leverage as the two trade punches with their free hands. Climbing to their feet they press into a Buick car and trade blows as they roll back and forth on the side of the car. Marty goes for an elbow and Fox side steps, jumping up and kicking Marty in the side of the head! Marty slumps down the side of the car window to his knees, face leaning on the car door. Fox grabs his head and slams it multiple times into the car door before he drives a knee into his back and rolls him over on the parking lot blacktop for a cover.
1!
2!
Shoulder up!
Marty pushes Fox off him and rolls under the car to get away from Fox, who stands up and argues to the referee that he thought he had three. The referee shakes his head and holds two fingers up, not realizing Marty is not on the ground still as he turns around.
Hawke: Shoulder tackle off the car!
Randy: Marty gets air and takes Fox down.
Hawke: Rough landing for both of them as they bounce off that Subaru.
Randy: We do not get paid to sponsor these vehicles do we?
Hawke: Not that I know of.
Randy: Then I’ll be referring to these by my own names the rest of the night. Either pay me Subi or suck it.
Marty climbs to his feet, his back showing some pain as he holds it with his left hand. Grabbing Fox by the neck and dragging him over to the bed of a RAM truck. Pulling the lift gate down, Marty lifts Fox up on his shoulder and snake eyes him on the corner of the truck bed, blood flows even more as Fox flops to the ground. Marty gets on the tail gate and points to his elbow as he drops off with an elbow drop to the chest of Fox! Hooking the leg, he goes for a pin.
1!
2!
Kickout!
Marty is less worried about the win and headlocks Fox and pulls him to his feet. Punishment is his desire and it shows as he drags Bloodied Fox in the headlock, punching him with his free hand and smashing his head off another side mirror. This one however doesn’t break off, but Marty let go when executing it and turns around to receive a short arm clothesline from Fox before he crumbles to the blacktop beside Marty.
Randy: A bloody affair here tonight.
Hawke: Marty wants revenge and doesn’t care if he finishes this quickly. Look how he nonchalantly went from that cover to inflicting more pain.
Randy: When it’s personal, nobody wants to finish things quickly. Ask any of my exes.
Around the side of the building fans exit the Denny’s with to-go containers as Marty and Fox rise to their feet. Marty goes for a knee and Fox snatches it, Dragon screw leg takedown that slams Marty side first on the sidewalk. The diner doors just ahead of them are swinging shut from the exiting patrons. Fox takes Marty by a leg and drags him towards the door, putting the knee in the door before slamming it shut!
Hawke: A vicious Fox tonight, trying to injure Donovan.
Randy: No love loss here, these two are out to finish what they started.
The diner doors open up from the inside and an old woman screams as she sees the crimson face of Bloodied Fox slamming the door again on Marty’s knee. Throwing her food up in the air and panicking, she returns to the inside of the restaurant as Marty uses his free leg to kick Fox in the knee and crawl through the door, through the leftover food on the floor and inside.
Hawke: Oh boy, here comes the lawsuits.
Randy: Hell has been unleashed on Denny’s!
Fox right behind him as the door closes, slamming the door behind him as he grabs Marty by the ankle and goes for an ankle lock. Marty rolls over and kicks him in the mouth, escaping the lock and rolling over to his good knee. Fox comes in for a punch and Marty side steps, sending him into the hostess and a server coming through the kitchen door. Fox trips over the employees and they all crash through the kitchen door with spilled drinks going everywhere. Marty pushes the door open as he steps over the employees and chases after Fox who goes from a crawl to his feet and shoves a cook in the way. Marty side steps the cook and grabs a frying pan hanging from the ceiling, chucking it at Fox in the back.
Randy: That’s going to leave a mark.
Hawke: This all is out of control, we weren’t suppose to leave the parking lot. Apologies to the Denny’s in Denver, this was not meant to happen.
Randy: Free publicity, they better thank us. That chain was dying before the XHF showed up.
Fox stumbles onto a prep table from the pan hitting him and as Marty gets close he spins around holding a knife. Swinging it at the chest, he misses by inches. A second swing connects on the cheek of the Disney star, slicing it open just below the eye and before the nose. Marty grabs the wrist and headbuttes Fox before slamming the wrist into the corner of the fridge next to them. The knife falls to the floor and Fox is wrestled into the fridge door by Marty. Tussling around the kitchen, pots and pans fall, employees dip out and clear the area as the XHF referee makes his way in.
Hawke: Finally some order.
Randy: No disqualifications, not much he can do but make the three count.
Hawke: Marty takes a rolling pin and smashes it over the head of Fox before using it to choke him!
Randy: Dragging him out of the Denny’s exit to the back lot.
The smoking employees disperse as Marty drops the rolling pin and grabs Fox by the hips, putting him in a piledriver that he delivers on the sidewalk!
Hawke: No way that doesn’t give him a concussion!
Randy: If not a cracked cranium.
Marty doesn’t go for the pin and instead drags Fox towards the grill of a car near by, an employee yelling don’t do it! Marty with a Dis-Knee, and it connects! He drops down on Fox for a cover.
1!
2!
3!
The referee goes to lift the arm as Marty gets up but Donovan doesn’t oblige and looks to do another Dis-Knee as he places Fox on the bumper.
Hawke: Don’t do it Marty!
Randy: He is looking to end a career.
A moment of hesitation passes before Marty drops down to a knee next to Fox and says something to him.
Marty Donovan: Your free subscription just expired.
Dis-knee to the face! Fox lays on the ground as the camera pans down from above, showing Marty standing over the beaten Fox.
Bonnie Jenkins: Ladies and gentlemen... the following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Bonnie Jenkins: And is for the XHF Tag Team Championships.
Lights go out.
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing first the challengers weighing in at a combined weight of 425 pounds they are representing J-Rok, BLACK KNIFE CABAL!
"Make her a member of the Midnight Crew..."
Red light illuminates enough for the fans to cheer as they see Brendan Harding and Jack Gaines makes their way out to RichaadEB's cover of Toby Fox's Black. Harding slaps a few hands on the way to the ring, while Jack seems laser focused on the upcoming fight. Both men slide into the ring, Jack taking one knee in the center as Brendan stands behind him, removing his crowned wolf mask and saluting the fans.
Randy: Gotta pull for my fellow J-Rokers here. They’re doing this for Japan.
Hawke: Hard to argue with that logic. Did you lose anything in the attack Randy?
Randy: So much Super Saki. So much. (Audible crying)
Hawke: I’m sorry for your loss.
Bonnie Jenkins: And now your Champions. They weigh in at a combined weight of 460 pounds, they are thee TOP OF THE CLASS!
The lights dim down and the Tron shows "Top of the Class" in big gold letters with sparkles. It then cuts to images of Death Trap and Mistress Discipline winning the XHF Global Tag Team Championships from New Age Killers with DT pinning Jason Long and their hands being raised. "2285 Entr'acte" by Dream Theater plays over the speakers. Blue and Gold lights strobe the arena as the stage and ramp light up again and Death Trap and Mistress Discipline hit the stage. Mistress straightens her collar and her title belt around her waist and begins marching to the ring. She gets ten steps away and looks back to see DT still doing his signature pose at the top of the stage, hoodie open showing off his tag team title belt. She marches back and grabs his arm and forcibly pulls him down the ramp to the ring as DT high fives fans with his free hand. Mistress rolls into the ring and steps to the center while DT goes up the steps and looks out at the crowd as he steps through the ropes. He leaps to the closest corner and poses again as gold sparks shower from the ceiling. Discipline looks around quite unimpressed by all this hoopla. DT jumps down and the two hand over their titles to the timekeeper as the lights return to normal.
Hawke: The Cabal may be the feel good story, but Top of the Class are just that, the top of the class in the tag division.
Randy: No, that’d be Natural Selection.
Hawke: You may think so, but these two have the straps to prove it, and no one has been able to take them away.
XHF Tag Team Championships
Tag Team Match
Top of the Class© vs Black Knife Cabal
Tag Team Match
Top of the Class© vs Black Knife Cabal
Death Trap steps in ready to start the match and Gaines steps in after a discussion with his partner. The two lock up in the center of the ring and Gaines is quickly pushed back into the neutral corner by the bigger DT. DT releases cleanly and backs up. Gaines slowly moves out of the corner and DT calls for another lock up. This time when Gaines moves in he dives for a double leg take down instead taking the bigger man off his feet. Gaines tries to follow it up with an elbow, but DT rolls out of the way. Both quickly get back to their feet and DT swings wildly with a lariat attempt, but Gaines sucks under and applies a rear waist lock. Gaines attempt to lift the bigger man, but DT blocks and swings back with his elbow. Gaines release, ducks under the elbow, and shoves DT away and we’re at a stalemate.
Hawke: Early on both teams seem very evenly matched.
Randy: I hate when that happens.
Hawke: What?
Randy: I like it much better when Quake and I are clearly the better team from the beginning.
DT and Gaines both back away to their corners and tag out. Mistress Discipline and Brendan Harding step in for their respective teams. The two move to the center of the ring, and Mistress goes for a lock up, but Brendan is not making the same mistake as Gaines did and quickly grabs Mistress by the wrist with both hands and whips her into the BKC corner. Brendan follows in with a running back elbow and Gaines tags in. Brendan holds Mistress in the corner as Gaines goes to the neutral corner. Gaines then charges and Brendan moves at the last moment allowing Gaines to hit a running high boot to the face of Mistress. Mistress falls to a sitting position and Brendan quickly gets out and tags back in. Brendan walks to the center of the ring and runs and and nails Mistress with double knees. Gaines tags in as Brendan hoists Mistress up to her feet. With both of them in the ring they lift Mistress up onto the top turnbuckle. Each grab an arm and turn around and launch Mistress off the top with a two person iconiclasm.
Hawke: Big move by the challengers early on.
Randy: Now pin her and win it for J-Rok.
Hawke: Looks like they’re too busy high fiving.
Gaines and Brendan do indeed high five, but then Brendan quickly exits the ring as Gaines goes to make the pin. The ref gets down, but he only gets a one count before Mistress grabs Gaines arm with a double wrist lock causing Gaines to break the pin. Mistress maintains control as she gets up to her feet and pulls Gaines up as well. Mistress pushes Gaines back into the TotC corner and tags in DT. DT hops in the ring with Gaines probe in the corner and begins reigning rights and lefts into the midsection of Gaines. DT then grabs Gaines by the neck and whips him over into a sitting position and delivers a swift kick to the spine of Gaines. Gaines screams out in pain and DT drops him down and makes the cover, but Gaines kicks out.
Hawke: That turned around quickly and now the champs are in complete control.
Randy: I don’t like it, not one bit.
Hawke: Well get used to it because DT is in complete control.
DT quickly picks Gaines up and lifts the smaller man up with a stalling vertical suplex. The arena counts out 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18-19-20 and then DT drops Gaines hard to the mat. DT follows it up with a cover, but Gaines kicks out at 2. DT quickly gets up and pulls Gaines up with him. Gaines counters with a palm strike to DT’s chest trying to get some distance, but DT counters with two punches to the gut, a rib kick, a muay thai clinch knee, and a question mark kick for the combo he calls Quick Kill. DT again covers, but Gaines kicks out again.
Hawke: What dominance from Death Trap.
Randy: Does he really hate Japan. JUST LAY DOWN ALREADY DT!
As Gaines kicks out DT locks in a side headlock and wrenches away. Gaines yells out in pain, but will not give up. After a few moments Gaines is able to plant his feet and he rolls over putting DT’s shoulders on the mat. The ref drops to make the count, but DT releases before he can even get a one count. DT quickly springs to his feet and reaches down to grab Gaines, but Gaines counters with a roll up. Ref makes the count, but DT kicks out at one. This time Gaines is up first and he leaps and tags Brendan’s outstretched arm. Brendan quickly climbs the ropes and as DT gets to his feet he turns right into a flying cross body. Brendan holds on top of him for the pin, but DT powers out. Brendan quickly gets back to his feet and stalks DT as he gets up to his feet. Once DT is up Brendan charges him and tackles him into the BKC corner.
Randy: Team J-Rok back in control!
Hawke: Their name is Black Knife Cabal, and it seems this match can turn on a dime so far.
Randy: In a match with this evenly matched teams it’s bound to happen.
Hawke: That might be the most coherent thing you’ve ever said.
Randy: Thank you.
Brendan drives his shoulder over and over into the midsection of DT, until the ref intervenes and warns the J-Rok star. Brendan takes a step back and then delivers a massive chop that rings out in the arena before tagging Gaines back in. Gaines comes in and returns the favor from earlier with rights and lefts to the rock hard abs of DT. After he gets his blows in Gaines tags right back out and Brendan comes in and sends a kick to DT’s ribs then grabs him by the wrist. Brendan goes to whip DT across the ring, but then spins him around and whips him back into the BKC corner chest first. DT hits the corner hard chest first and stumbles back out into the waiting arms of Brendan who uses DT’s momentum to deliver a German suplex with the bridge for a two count.
Randy: Now this is what I like to see. Go team J-Rok. Win for my Saki!
Hawke: I think they’re just trying to win for Japan.
Randy: Well Saki is from Japan so…
Hawke: What a German suplex by Harding, and maintains control.
Brendan does indeed maintain waist control and pulls DT up to his feet. Brendan attempts another German, but DT blocks it and then rolls forward locking Brendan in a pinning attempt. Brendan quickly kicks out, and DT uses this momentary advantage to crawl towards his corner and the outstretched arm of Mistress. Brendan quickly puts a stop to it by grabbing DT’s leg and slamming his knee to the mat. Brendan follows it up dragging DT towards the BKC corner. Brendan grapevines the same leg he slammed into the mat with his own leg and tags in Gaines. Brendan then falls back snapping back DT’s leg. DT screams in pain and as Brendan rolls away Gaines uses the ropes to catapult into the ring with a leg drop onto the already injured leg. Gaines then locks in a knee bar and DT screams in pain, but when the ref asks if he quits DT screams “no!”
Hawke: Death Trap is in a world of hurt. Gaines and Harding have begun to target the leg in a big way.
Randy: You love to see it.
Gaines wrenches away at the knee, but when he’s sure DT won’t submit Gaines reaches out and tags in Brendan. Brendan runs to the neutral corner on the apron and climbs the ropes, and with DT still locked in the knee bar Brendan leaps off with his senton, Pope Turtle’s Blessing. Gaines releases and exits as Brendan rolls DT over for the cover, but DT is too close to the ropes after being rolled and gets his foot under the ropes. A frustrated Brendan lifts DT up to his feet and begins delivering palm strikes all over DT’s battered body. Brendan then stops and screams “You are already dead!” and turns and swings with a spinning back fist for Omae wa mou Shindeiru, but DT collapses from his bad knee and the shot misses. Brendan picks DT back up and says to him “you’re not getting off that easy,” and again spins for the back fist, but this time DT grabs him mid spin with a waist lock and pushes Brendan to the ropes and when they bounce off DT rolls Brendan up for a pin attempt. Brendan kicks out and the momentum sends DT right to his corner where he tags in Mistress!
Hawke: Hot tag!
Mistress comes in on fire and nails Brendan with a clothesline just as he gets to his feet. Mistress continues running through and nails Gaines on the apron with a running high boot that knocks Gaines off and into the guard rail. Mistress turns back around and charges at Brendan who ducks another clothesline attempt. Mistress turns back to Brendan and catches an attempted kick. Mistress then pulls Brendan in and nails a knee shot. Brendan is fully staggered and Mistress lifts him up and slams him to the mat with a sit out power bomb. She gets her legs over Brendan’s arms in the follow up cover, but Brendan rolls a shoulder.
Randy: Whew! You can do it J-Rok person!
Hawke: That’s Brendan Harding.
Randy: I can’t remember new names, I’m in morning.
Hawke: Brendan has been in J-Rok for… oh forget it.
Mistress quickly follows up with Brendan on his stomach and locks in the crossface! If she can bridge this into her Suspension Brendan will have no choice but to tap out. Gaines is back up on the apron, though, and begins to step through the ropes into the ring, but he’s halted as DT has come around the ring and grabbed Gaines by the leg. Mistress bridges to complete the move and Brendan is screaming in pain. Gaines turns and kicks DT off and enters the ring, but it’s too late. Brendan was forced to tap out.
Bonnie Jenkins: Your winners and STILL XHF Tag Team Champions: Top of the Class!
Randy: Boo!
Hawke: I know you’re upset, but this is big for Top of the Class. They’ve now cemented themselves as the most dominant tag team since the GUNS brought the titles back.
Cross Recoba(VO): What started off with eight men now comes down to one and a story that has been brewing since the middle of the Kanyon administration…
XHF GLOBAL DOMINANCE 2018
The ladder reaches the metal platform and Maverick begins to set it up, Diamond slowly climbs the cage. When the ladder is set up, Maverick looks back at the Ace of Spades and says "Fuck it" before rushing up the ladder and towards the titles. Diamond, seeing this, climbs up the cage quicker than usual and makes it to the metal platform. He shakes his head disapprovingly at the Mercenary as Mav looks on, one hand touching the title. Maverick looks down at Barratt ringside, and he's got a poker face on, his arms folded, he then looks back at Jack.
Joey: And after all that, Maverick is just going to steal an easy win by taking advantage of Diamond's help?
King: Yes! Do it kid! Forget the Icons!
Maverick sighs and jumps down from off the ladder and back onto the metal platform, Diamond pulls up his fists, this is how he wants it to go down, fighting. They both charge at one another and hit open fist strikes as the crowd cheer them on. However, they're both nearing the edge of the platform, Maverick nearly falling off. Diamond shoots out his arm and prevents Maverick from falling to his doom. He pulls him back onto the middle of the platform, but Maverick punches him with a closed fist to the face, anger taking over him. "I don't need saving, I don't need your sympathy!". Diamond is shocked and holds his jaw in pain, Maverick has thrown the first closed fist of the matchup. He shakes his head in
disbelief, smiling almost.
There's fire in Maverick's eyes, Diamond seems to always be one step ahead of him. He's lost all hope. He slowly crawls back to his feet as Diamond looks down at his struggling friend, helping him up! WAIT! NO! Maverick suckers him in and gets him into position for the... SWITCHBLADE! He HITS IT! The ladder gets knocked down but just manages to stay upon the metal platform, Diamond landing just on the edge as well! Maverick scrambles onto his knees and looks at the fallen ladder, he's weak and fatigued, but he must capitalize on the situation. He crawls towards it and pulls it back into the middle of the platform. His arms are sloppy and weak. He slowly gets to his feet and tries to pull it up, but he just can't muster up the strength required. His whole back is red, no doubt from the devastating bumps he took upon the platform. He falls to his knees and wipes the sweat away from his upper lip.
Joey: Maverick is really struggling here.
King: Hey wait, what's Bobby Barratt doing?!
Bobby Barratt can't bear to watch it anymore. He drops the belt next to his chair and rushes up the cage, joining Maverick in the middle of the platform. He says he's here to help, proceeding to help Maverick in lifting the ladder back up. The crowd is half-cheering, half booing. Barratt helps Maverick to get onto the first rung, the rest is up to him. He heads towards Jack Diamond, who's semi-conscious on the metal ground, he lightly slaps his face, trying to wake him up. The Ace of Spades slowly becomes more and more conscious as Barratt points at the struggling Maverick, very slowly climbing the rungs of the ladder. Barratt slowly drags Diamondback to his feet and heads him towards the ladder
King: What is this?! This is unfair!
Joey: Hey, Barratt helped Maverick, it's only fair he helps out Diamond as well!
Diamond slowly begins to climb the rungs, Maverick nearing the top. Barratt watches on with nervous eyes. Maverick gets his hands on the title, but as soon as he does so Jack thumps him in the chest, before reaching the top as well. Maverick punches back and both men go back and forth for the final time upon the ladder.
Joey: This will be detrimental in finding out who's the strongest between these two!
King: They're both on an even playing field, whoever falls off now, it's all over for them!
Barratt can hardly watch as Diamond flails on the ladder with one arm, Maverick flailing with one arm as well. The punches have gotten much slower, yet much more powerful, every time garnering an even louder pop from the already exhausted crowd! Diamond shakes his head, he's not going to lose the X*Crown Championship on his first defense! Maverick shouts a cry of anger and swings for one final punch, but Diamond blocks it with his spare hand, and punches him with his other! HOLY SHIT! MAVERICK FALLS!!!!THUMP!!! !;Maverick's bo dy crumples upon the metal platform, unmoving, unconscious! Barratt rushes to his aid and falls to his knees as Jack Diamond reaches up for the final time and pulls down the X*Crown Championship, the crowd cheering like crazy! DING! DING! DING!
Joey: Diamond has done it! Diamond has retained the X*Crown Championship, King!
King: I knew he would do it, Hawke! You know what's made under pressure?! Diamonds!
The ladder reaches the metal platform and Maverick begins to set it up, Diamond slowly climbs the cage. When the ladder is set up, Maverick looks back at the Ace of Spades and says "Fuck it" before rushing up the ladder and towards the titles. Diamond, seeing this, climbs up the cage quicker than usual and makes it to the metal platform. He shakes his head disapprovingly at the Mercenary as Mav looks on, one hand touching the title. Maverick looks down at Barratt ringside, and he's got a poker face on, his arms folded, he then looks back at Jack.
Joey: And after all that, Maverick is just going to steal an easy win by taking advantage of Diamond's help?
King: Yes! Do it kid! Forget the Icons!
Maverick sighs and jumps down from off the ladder and back onto the metal platform, Diamond pulls up his fists, this is how he wants it to go down, fighting. They both charge at one another and hit open fist strikes as the crowd cheer them on. However, they're both nearing the edge of the platform, Maverick nearly falling off. Diamond shoots out his arm and prevents Maverick from falling to his doom. He pulls him back onto the middle of the platform, but Maverick punches him with a closed fist to the face, anger taking over him. "I don't need saving, I don't need your sympathy!". Diamond is shocked and holds his jaw in pain, Maverick has thrown the first closed fist of the matchup. He shakes his head in
disbelief, smiling almost.
There's fire in Maverick's eyes, Diamond seems to always be one step ahead of him. He's lost all hope. He slowly crawls back to his feet as Diamond looks down at his struggling friend, helping him up! WAIT! NO! Maverick suckers him in and gets him into position for the... SWITCHBLADE! He HITS IT! The ladder gets knocked down but just manages to stay upon the metal platform, Diamond landing just on the edge as well! Maverick scrambles onto his knees and looks at the fallen ladder, he's weak and fatigued, but he must capitalize on the situation. He crawls towards it and pulls it back into the middle of the platform. His arms are sloppy and weak. He slowly gets to his feet and tries to pull it up, but he just can't muster up the strength required. His whole back is red, no doubt from the devastating bumps he took upon the platform. He falls to his knees and wipes the sweat away from his upper lip.
Joey: Maverick is really struggling here.
King: Hey wait, what's Bobby Barratt doing?!
Bobby Barratt can't bear to watch it anymore. He drops the belt next to his chair and rushes up the cage, joining Maverick in the middle of the platform. He says he's here to help, proceeding to help Maverick in lifting the ladder back up. The crowd is half-cheering, half booing. Barratt helps Maverick to get onto the first rung, the rest is up to him. He heads towards Jack Diamond, who's semi-conscious on the metal ground, he lightly slaps his face, trying to wake him up. The Ace of Spades slowly becomes more and more conscious as Barratt points at the struggling Maverick, very slowly climbing the rungs of the ladder. Barratt slowly drags Diamondback to his feet and heads him towards the ladder
King: What is this?! This is unfair!
Joey: Hey, Barratt helped Maverick, it's only fair he helps out Diamond as well!
Diamond slowly begins to climb the rungs, Maverick nearing the top. Barratt watches on with nervous eyes. Maverick gets his hands on the title, but as soon as he does so Jack thumps him in the chest, before reaching the top as well. Maverick punches back and both men go back and forth for the final time upon the ladder.
Joey: This will be detrimental in finding out who's the strongest between these two!
King: They're both on an even playing field, whoever falls off now, it's all over for them!
Barratt can hardly watch as Diamond flails on the ladder with one arm, Maverick flailing with one arm as well. The punches have gotten much slower, yet much more powerful, every time garnering an even louder pop from the already exhausted crowd! Diamond shakes his head, he's not going to lose the X*Crown Championship on his first defense! Maverick shouts a cry of anger and swings for one final punch, but Diamond blocks it with his spare hand, and punches him with his other! HOLY SHIT! MAVERICK FALLS!!!!THUMP!!! !;Maverick's bo dy crumples upon the metal platform, unmoving, unconscious! Barratt rushes to his aid and falls to his knees as Jack Diamond reaches up for the final time and pulls down the X*Crown Championship, the crowd cheering like crazy! DING! DING! DING!
Joey: Diamond has done it! Diamond has retained the X*Crown Championship, King!
King: I knew he would do it, Hawke! You know what's made under pressure?! Diamonds!
Jason Long: Not that my moment is beating Jack, the guy I have been in the shadow of for the last year, but my moment of actually facing Jack. It's something I wanted for so long.
Jason Long: The memories are memories for a reason, Jack, and I cannot understand why you won’t just let them go. This whole sport has evolved overtime and it’s changed, the landscape has changed, the past is gone for a reason but you want to bring it back, thinking your old ways can still hang in this modernised era. You’re like one of those veteran wrestlers who thinks that they can still hang onto something from their past and it’ll continue to be relevant in days like these.
Steve Morrison: Is Long right? Has Diamond changed with the times? Is it all a mind game to get in his head? What is certain is that Long has thrived since the time of the Icons. An X*Crown reign, twice he’s held the XHF Tag-Team titles and that’s without including his Hall of Fame worthy AWF run!
Cross Recoba: Long’s a generational talent but then so is Diamond. He’s still undefeated, he has still proven that there’s enough in the tank that even the betting line can’t split these two.
Steve Morrison: You can’t question the hunger that still exists…
Jason Long: The memories are memories for a reason, Jack, and I cannot understand why you won’t just let them go. This whole sport has evolved overtime and it’s changed, the landscape has changed, the past is gone for a reason but you want to bring it back, thinking your old ways can still hang in this modernised era. You’re like one of those veteran wrestlers who thinks that they can still hang onto something from their past and it’ll continue to be relevant in days like these.
Steve Morrison: Is Long right? Has Diamond changed with the times? Is it all a mind game to get in his head? What is certain is that Long has thrived since the time of the Icons. An X*Crown reign, twice he’s held the XHF Tag-Team titles and that’s without including his Hall of Fame worthy AWF run!
Cross Recoba: Long’s a generational talent but then so is Diamond. He’s still undefeated, he has still proven that there’s enough in the tank that even the betting line can’t split these two.
Steve Morrison: You can’t question the hunger that still exists…
Jack Diamond: While you’ve gone around and coined yourself the “King of Fuck Shit Mountain” I have been the King of THE mountain, whether I’m active or not. I tried, Mav, I really tried to look out for you at every turn. When I gave you this casino and you pissed it away to someone of more mouth but lesser talent… it was me who had to clean that up and steal my brainchild back. When Bobby and I turned the keys over to you for the AWF Icons, you made such a mockery of that with your recruiting that I had to get the band back together just to save face. When you needed someone to help whip your talent in Ireland in shape, it was me who stepped in and busted my ass for you and your company. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy doing those things, and it’s not like I wouldn’t do them again... That’s why brothers are for, but to think that you went around and claimed to be the last true Icon?
Jack spits.
Jack Diamond: That, I have a problem with. So here we are Mav. We go into Tap Out Eight as the headline match. The way it SHOULD be. The winner gets some time to put in a hell of a camp for the finals while the loser has to work their way back to the final and ultimately has to beat the winner twice. Do you have goosebumps yet? I do. I know I’m not facing the same nervous kid I did in twenty-eighteen. You are damn near my equal now…. Damn near…
Jack spits.
Jack Diamond: That, I have a problem with. So here we are Mav. We go into Tap Out Eight as the headline match. The way it SHOULD be. The winner gets some time to put in a hell of a camp for the finals while the loser has to work their way back to the final and ultimately has to beat the winner twice. Do you have goosebumps yet? I do. I know I’m not facing the same nervous kid I did in twenty-eighteen. You are damn near my equal now…. Damn near…
TAP OUT WRESTLING 8: MAIN EVENT
Steve Morrison: BRAAAAAAAINBUSTAH! But it’s not enough.
Cross Recoba: Jason Long looks like he’s about to get rolling in this match. I feel the tide has turned here.
Steve Morrison: Interesting that Long thought about going to the top rope there.
Cross Recoba: Going to the top rope against Jack Diamond is a risk. Don’t set yourself up for your opponent’s finisher if you can avoid it.
Jason Long lets out a loud, “C’MON!” and pumps his fists to the joy of the crowd. He creates a little space from the fallen Diamond, eyeing up an avenue for his lethal striking game to take hold. Diamond stands, unaware of his opponent’s position and Jack charges, arm extended and WIPES JACK OUT WITH A HUGE, VICIOUS, PRECISELY DELIVERED LAAAAARIAAAATOOOOOO!
Steve Morrison: BLAAAADE RUNNAH!
Following up quickly, Long opts not to go for the cover and lets Diamond get to his feet and fires off a HUUUGE KNEE STRIKE TO JACKIE BOY’S FACE! Diamond staggers backwards. A SECOND KNEE STRIKE! Jack is on wobbly legs! MASSIVE SWINGING BACK ELBOW! Jack is forced right back to the ropes!
Steve Morrison: KING SLAYER! AND A SECOND! STARDUST BREAKER!
Jason Long cocks his leg back one more time… HUUUUUUUUUUGE ICONKICK TO THE FACE OF JACK DIAMOND….
NO SOLD! JACK DIAMOND RESPONDS! ICONKICK OF HIS OWN!
NO SOLD! BOTH MEN GO FOR ANOTHER ICONKICK! THEY CONNECT AT THE SAME TIME! BOTH MEN DROP TO THE CANVAS!
Steve Morrison: IT’S RAINING ICONKICKS IN LAS VEGAS TONIGHT!
The referee comes over and starts the count as both men are down…
ONE!
TWO!
Crowd: LET’S GO JA-SON! LET’S GO JACK! LET’S GO JA-SON! LET’S GO JACK!
THREE!
FOUR!
Steve Morrison: What a contest this has been so far! Both men are down.
Cross Recoba: These two competitors have been impossible to separate in this match. It’s been a shockingly even contest.
FIVE!
SIX!
Jason Long gets to one knee…
SEVEN!
EIGHT!
Crowd: LET’S GO JA-SON! LET’S GO JACK! LET’S GO JA-SON! LET’S GO JACK!
NINE!
Jack Diamond uses the bottom rope to lift himself off the mat…
TEE… AND JASON LONG GETS OFF THE MAT AS WELL!
Steve Morrison: BOTH MEN ARE UP! THIS MATCH WILL CONTINUE!
The two combatants, groggy and showing the signs of wear and tear from the match walk slowly, carefully towards each other. Their eyes lock and that tense energy and atmosphere from the start of the match is back. Two competitors who know each other so well, still evenly matched. Jack Diamond strikes first, throwing one of his looping strikes that crashes against the temple of Jason Long. Long stumbles backwards.
Crowd: JACK!
Long composes himself and returns fire by stepping in and blasting Jack Diamond across the face with one of his ever dangerous elbow smashes. Jack stumbles backwards a couple of steps..
Crowd: JASON!
Now it’s Jack who has to show some steel and he’s certainly able to deliver it, throwing a punch that has an unearthly amount of fire for this stage in the match, again staggering The Catalyst.
Crowd: JACK!
Jason Long is not one to let himself lose a striking exchange and he steps in confidently after regaining his balance and his elbow crashes against Diamond’s skull once more!
Crowd: JASON!
This time Jack Diamond steadies himself quickly and the pair close to the shortest of distances, each man overhooking with their left arm and THROWING A BARRAGE OF SHORT DISTANCE ELBOW STRIKES, NEITHER MAN RELENTING, NEITHER MAN GIVING A DAMN INCH!
Crowd: IIIII-CONS! IIIIII-CONS! IIIII-CONS!
Steve Morrison: This is turning into a total epic!
Cross Recoba: And the crowd is lapping it up.
The two men separate and suck wind for a few seconds, both flat out tired from the recent flurry of effort. Jack goes back to the basics and feels out again, looking for a loose limb. Jason Long, as he did at the start of the match, instantly reverses it, craftily switching to a hammerlock. Jack again standing switches but the former Maverick has learned that trick and instantly switches AGAIN. Long feels for the arm and spins Diamond out… AND THEN DRAGS HIM BACK IN, RAISING HIS ARM FOR A RIPCORD LARIAT…
AND DIAMOND DUCKS! HE KEEPS HOLD OF THE ARM AND WITH ALL THE MOMENTUM IN THE WORLD HE IRISH WHIPS MAVERICK INTO THE CORNER WITH A THUD! JACK FOLLOWS IN IMMEDIATELY, JUMPING INTO THE AIR LOOKING TO PRESS THE KING OF WRESTLING AGAINST THE TURNBUCKLES! LONG GRABS THE TOP ROPE TO HAUL HIMSELF OUT OF THE WAY AGAIN BUT JACK HAD CHANGED HIS ATTACK ANGLE SO HE ENDS UP HITTING WHERE JASON LONG HAD MOVED TO INSTEAD OF WHERE HE WAS!
Steve Morrison: DIAMOND SPLASH! DIAMOND SPLASH!
Not wanting to waste a second of time, Jack quickly grabs Jason Long around the waist and hoists him up onto the top rope. The Ace of Spades reaches up and locks up Jason Long’s head. JACK DIAMOND DRAGS JASON LONG OFF THE TOP ROPE IN A THREE QUARTER FACELOCK, CRASHING THE IRISHMAN INTO THE MAT…
Steve Morrison: STACKED DECK!
...BUT JASON LONG KNOWS HOW TO TAKE THE MOVE! HE SWINGS HIS LEGS FORWARDS WITH THE MOMENTUM OF BEING HAULED OFF THE ROPES AND THROWS HIS LEGS AROUND JACK DIAMOND’S BODY TO BLOCK THE IMPACT OF THE STACKED DECK!
Steve Morrison: NO!
Cross Recoba: WHAT… A… COUNTER!
With Jason Long stuck to his back like a limpet, Jack Diamond simply falls backwards, splatting Jason Long’s body onto the mat in an uncomfortable back press…
ONE!
TWO!
THR… NO! LONG GETS A SHOULDER UP! Long wriggles to reposition higher up Jack Diamond’s body as The Ace of Spades grits his teeth and gets slowly to a knee. Then to another knee. Bearing the full weight of Long, Jack JUST FLOPS BACKWARDS TO THE MAT, CRASHING JASON LONG DOWN AGAIN!
ONE!
TWO!
THRE… NO! JASON LONG GRABS ONTO THE BOTTOM ROPE AS THE PAIR ARE STILL NOT FAR ENOUGH AWAY FROM THE CORNER!
Steve Morrison: OH MY GOD THAT WAS CLOSE!
It’s back to the well once more as Jack Diamond stresses and strains, Long not giving up the vice-like grip despite being repeatedly dropped flat on the mat. Diamond slowly, ever so slowly peels in his other foot before staggering backwards, Long’s weight feeling like a 400lb behemoth to the tired Ace of Spades. Jack tries to jump backwards again…
BUT JASON LONG REACHES UP AND AROUND AND SNAGS JACK DIAMOND’S HEAD! DIAMOND JUST DROPS TO HIS KNEES IN ANGUISH AS JASON LONG STARTS TO APPLY PRESSURE WITH A HEAVILY MODIFIED DRAGON SLEEPER! JACK DIAMOND COLLAPSES SIDEWAYS TO THE MAT, LONG GRASPING HIM, COBRA LIKE…
Steve Morrison: SANCTIFICATION! SANCTIFICATION! SANCTIFICATION!
Diamond is fading, and fading fast. Long’s eyes are almost glazed over, his focus purely on holding on to the submission rather than the noise and everything else going on.
JACK DIAMOND IS OUT OF OPTIONS!
JACK!
TAPS!
OUT!
Steve Morrison: JACK TAPS! JASON LONG HAS WON T|HIS ABSOLUTE WAR!
Crowd: THANK YOU BOTH! THANK YOU BOTH!
Laura Messier: Your winner of this match… AND GOING TO THE FINAL OF THE TAP OUT OPENWEIGHT TOURNAMENT…THE BEST BOUT MACHINE….JASON….LONG!!!
Steve Morrison: BRAAAAAAAINBUSTAH! But it’s not enough.
Cross Recoba: Jason Long looks like he’s about to get rolling in this match. I feel the tide has turned here.
Steve Morrison: Interesting that Long thought about going to the top rope there.
Cross Recoba: Going to the top rope against Jack Diamond is a risk. Don’t set yourself up for your opponent’s finisher if you can avoid it.
Jason Long lets out a loud, “C’MON!” and pumps his fists to the joy of the crowd. He creates a little space from the fallen Diamond, eyeing up an avenue for his lethal striking game to take hold. Diamond stands, unaware of his opponent’s position and Jack charges, arm extended and WIPES JACK OUT WITH A HUGE, VICIOUS, PRECISELY DELIVERED LAAAAARIAAAATOOOOOO!
Steve Morrison: BLAAAADE RUNNAH!
Following up quickly, Long opts not to go for the cover and lets Diamond get to his feet and fires off a HUUUGE KNEE STRIKE TO JACKIE BOY’S FACE! Diamond staggers backwards. A SECOND KNEE STRIKE! Jack is on wobbly legs! MASSIVE SWINGING BACK ELBOW! Jack is forced right back to the ropes!
Steve Morrison: KING SLAYER! AND A SECOND! STARDUST BREAKER!
Jason Long cocks his leg back one more time… HUUUUUUUUUUGE ICONKICK TO THE FACE OF JACK DIAMOND….
NO SOLD! JACK DIAMOND RESPONDS! ICONKICK OF HIS OWN!
NO SOLD! BOTH MEN GO FOR ANOTHER ICONKICK! THEY CONNECT AT THE SAME TIME! BOTH MEN DROP TO THE CANVAS!
Steve Morrison: IT’S RAINING ICONKICKS IN LAS VEGAS TONIGHT!
The referee comes over and starts the count as both men are down…
ONE!
TWO!
Crowd: LET’S GO JA-SON! LET’S GO JACK! LET’S GO JA-SON! LET’S GO JACK!
THREE!
FOUR!
Steve Morrison: What a contest this has been so far! Both men are down.
Cross Recoba: These two competitors have been impossible to separate in this match. It’s been a shockingly even contest.
FIVE!
SIX!
Jason Long gets to one knee…
SEVEN!
EIGHT!
Crowd: LET’S GO JA-SON! LET’S GO JACK! LET’S GO JA-SON! LET’S GO JACK!
NINE!
Jack Diamond uses the bottom rope to lift himself off the mat…
TEE… AND JASON LONG GETS OFF THE MAT AS WELL!
Steve Morrison: BOTH MEN ARE UP! THIS MATCH WILL CONTINUE!
The two combatants, groggy and showing the signs of wear and tear from the match walk slowly, carefully towards each other. Their eyes lock and that tense energy and atmosphere from the start of the match is back. Two competitors who know each other so well, still evenly matched. Jack Diamond strikes first, throwing one of his looping strikes that crashes against the temple of Jason Long. Long stumbles backwards.
Crowd: JACK!
Long composes himself and returns fire by stepping in and blasting Jack Diamond across the face with one of his ever dangerous elbow smashes. Jack stumbles backwards a couple of steps..
Crowd: JASON!
Now it’s Jack who has to show some steel and he’s certainly able to deliver it, throwing a punch that has an unearthly amount of fire for this stage in the match, again staggering The Catalyst.
Crowd: JACK!
Jason Long is not one to let himself lose a striking exchange and he steps in confidently after regaining his balance and his elbow crashes against Diamond’s skull once more!
Crowd: JASON!
This time Jack Diamond steadies himself quickly and the pair close to the shortest of distances, each man overhooking with their left arm and THROWING A BARRAGE OF SHORT DISTANCE ELBOW STRIKES, NEITHER MAN RELENTING, NEITHER MAN GIVING A DAMN INCH!
Crowd: IIIII-CONS! IIIIII-CONS! IIIII-CONS!
Steve Morrison: This is turning into a total epic!
Cross Recoba: And the crowd is lapping it up.
The two men separate and suck wind for a few seconds, both flat out tired from the recent flurry of effort. Jack goes back to the basics and feels out again, looking for a loose limb. Jason Long, as he did at the start of the match, instantly reverses it, craftily switching to a hammerlock. Jack again standing switches but the former Maverick has learned that trick and instantly switches AGAIN. Long feels for the arm and spins Diamond out… AND THEN DRAGS HIM BACK IN, RAISING HIS ARM FOR A RIPCORD LARIAT…
AND DIAMOND DUCKS! HE KEEPS HOLD OF THE ARM AND WITH ALL THE MOMENTUM IN THE WORLD HE IRISH WHIPS MAVERICK INTO THE CORNER WITH A THUD! JACK FOLLOWS IN IMMEDIATELY, JUMPING INTO THE AIR LOOKING TO PRESS THE KING OF WRESTLING AGAINST THE TURNBUCKLES! LONG GRABS THE TOP ROPE TO HAUL HIMSELF OUT OF THE WAY AGAIN BUT JACK HAD CHANGED HIS ATTACK ANGLE SO HE ENDS UP HITTING WHERE JASON LONG HAD MOVED TO INSTEAD OF WHERE HE WAS!
Steve Morrison: DIAMOND SPLASH! DIAMOND SPLASH!
Not wanting to waste a second of time, Jack quickly grabs Jason Long around the waist and hoists him up onto the top rope. The Ace of Spades reaches up and locks up Jason Long’s head. JACK DIAMOND DRAGS JASON LONG OFF THE TOP ROPE IN A THREE QUARTER FACELOCK, CRASHING THE IRISHMAN INTO THE MAT…
Steve Morrison: STACKED DECK!
...BUT JASON LONG KNOWS HOW TO TAKE THE MOVE! HE SWINGS HIS LEGS FORWARDS WITH THE MOMENTUM OF BEING HAULED OFF THE ROPES AND THROWS HIS LEGS AROUND JACK DIAMOND’S BODY TO BLOCK THE IMPACT OF THE STACKED DECK!
Steve Morrison: NO!
Cross Recoba: WHAT… A… COUNTER!
With Jason Long stuck to his back like a limpet, Jack Diamond simply falls backwards, splatting Jason Long’s body onto the mat in an uncomfortable back press…
ONE!
TWO!
THR… NO! LONG GETS A SHOULDER UP! Long wriggles to reposition higher up Jack Diamond’s body as The Ace of Spades grits his teeth and gets slowly to a knee. Then to another knee. Bearing the full weight of Long, Jack JUST FLOPS BACKWARDS TO THE MAT, CRASHING JASON LONG DOWN AGAIN!
ONE!
TWO!
THRE… NO! JASON LONG GRABS ONTO THE BOTTOM ROPE AS THE PAIR ARE STILL NOT FAR ENOUGH AWAY FROM THE CORNER!
Steve Morrison: OH MY GOD THAT WAS CLOSE!
It’s back to the well once more as Jack Diamond stresses and strains, Long not giving up the vice-like grip despite being repeatedly dropped flat on the mat. Diamond slowly, ever so slowly peels in his other foot before staggering backwards, Long’s weight feeling like a 400lb behemoth to the tired Ace of Spades. Jack tries to jump backwards again…
BUT JASON LONG REACHES UP AND AROUND AND SNAGS JACK DIAMOND’S HEAD! DIAMOND JUST DROPS TO HIS KNEES IN ANGUISH AS JASON LONG STARTS TO APPLY PRESSURE WITH A HEAVILY MODIFIED DRAGON SLEEPER! JACK DIAMOND COLLAPSES SIDEWAYS TO THE MAT, LONG GRASPING HIM, COBRA LIKE…
Steve Morrison: SANCTIFICATION! SANCTIFICATION! SANCTIFICATION!
Diamond is fading, and fading fast. Long’s eyes are almost glazed over, his focus purely on holding on to the submission rather than the noise and everything else going on.
JACK DIAMOND IS OUT OF OPTIONS!
JACK!
TAPS!
OUT!
Steve Morrison: JACK TAPS! JASON LONG HAS WON T|HIS ABSOLUTE WAR!
Crowd: THANK YOU BOTH! THANK YOU BOTH!
Laura Messier: Your winner of this match… AND GOING TO THE FINAL OF THE TAP OUT OPENWEIGHT TOURNAMENT…THE BEST BOUT MACHINE….JASON….LONG!!!
TAP OUT WRESTLING 8: MAIN EVENT
Jack stands and lifts Poena off the mat with his right arm. Jack applies a front facelock with his left arm and emits a pained noise as he lifts The Suffering Fanatic up in a vertical suplex motion before changing the momentum at the arc, using his stronger arm to push Poena off into a sharp Gourdbuster. Jack uses his right arm to try and shake the life back into his left before dropping to cover…
ONE!
TWO!
THR.. Poena kicks out again.
Steve Morrison: The question is, how much of Jack’s offence is being taken away by his injured arm?
Cross Recoba: Working round where you’re hurt is a skill that’s learned in time. And Jack Diamond has a lot of experience in this business to draw from.
Again, as Jack stands he moves his left arm in slow, deliberate movements, attempting to increase the blood flow through Poena’s match long target to speed up removing any numbness contained within. Poena is, again, a little slow to get up so The Icon uses every free second available to recover before slipping behind The Twisted Genius and grabbing a one armed back waistlock. Jack ducks his body low, allowing his legs to do the extra work as he ARCHES BACKWARDS AND HIT POENA WITH A GOD DAMNED ONE ARM GERMAN SUPLEX! Jack rolls over to cover…
ONE!
TWO!
THRE… NO! Poena kicks out.
Crowd: HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!
Steve Morrison: EIGHTY-SIXED! DIAMOND SPLASH!
Jack Diamond goes to lift Poena up onto the turnbuckles, the set up for the Stacked Deck but with his bad arm, it’s taking a ton more effort than it would normally. Jack gets Poena off the canvas… and Poena snags the arm and rolls through! The Sanctified One bars out the arm and yells, “CONFESS!” again.
Steve Morrison: CROSS ARMBREAKER! This has to be it for Jack Diamond!
Cross Recoba: He’s fading fast. I think Jack is running low on options.
Referee Quinn gets in position to as Jack Diamond if he wants to quit. But being this close to the ropes gives Jack an out, and he stretches his legs up towards the middle rope… uses them to push the bulk of his body weight on top of Poena and then rests them on the rope for leverage…
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Big John Quinn calls for the bell and separates the two men and Poena stands up in celebration, thinking that the bell was rung for a tap out victory.
Laura Messier: THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND ADVANCING TO THE TAPOUT OPENWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP FINAL… “THE ACE OF SPADES” JAAAAAAAAAA…
And that’s about as far as Laura gets before Poena has realised what’s happened, formed a face of pure, unearthly hatred, placed two fingers in a V below his mandible and SPRAYED A FACEFUL OF TURQUOISE MIST STRAIGHT AT MESSIER! Laura drops to the mat, screaming but fortunately has enough wits about her to roll the hell out of the ring. Security RUSHES out from the backstage area as Poena turns back to Jack Diamond.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Steve Morrison: Jack Diamond TOTALLY steals the victory!
Cross Recoba: And Poena is PISSED. Amazing Grace to our damn Ring Announcer. He’s gone insane... -er.
The crowd don’t stop booing as Poena stomps away at Jack’s prone body. Hand, injured arm, uninjured arm, head. It doesn’t matter, just a flurry of boots raining down on The Icon. The first security guard hits the ring, only for The Certifiable Lunatic of the Ring to run at him and knee him square in the face! Poena drops to his stomach and drives his thumb RIGHT into the security staffer’s ribcage. The Sanctified One turns to go back to Jack Diamond but senses the second member of Security has hit the ring and he PUNT KICKS HIM RIGHT IN THE NUTSACK! AND ANOTHER FALLING THUMB STRIKE TO THE INTRACOSTAEL AREA!
Steve Morrison: Looks like our security team is getting Sacrificed.
Cross Recoba: I am NOT putting up with this. I’m going to have to deal with this situation later.
Now the third and fourth security guard hit the ring at the same time. Poena grabs the third one around the head the LEAPS INTO THE AIR, HITTING A POWERFUL DROPKICK ON THE FOURTH SECURITY GUARD, ALLOWING HIM TO CHANGE HIS MOMENTUM AND HIT A TORNADO DDT ON THE THIRD ONE.. ONTO THE SECOND ONE!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Poena turns back to Jack Diamond, stomps again on the injured arm and then lifts up his hand. He slowly, carefully separates the outer and inner pairs of fingers as MORE security comes flooding out to stop this carnage. The Chaplain of Contusions shushes the crowd who respond with even more volume…
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
..which Poena revels in for a second as the security begin to hit the ring… WHEN OUT FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE PACK COMES JACK DIAMOND’S FELLOW FORMER MEMBER OF THE ICONS AND FOLLOWING OPPONENT, JASON LONG! LONG DIVES… AT JACK DIAMOND AND HURRIEDLY PULLS HIM AWAY AS FINALLY THERE ARE ENOUGH SECURITY STAFF AROUND POENA TO SUBDUE HIM! (About six, not attacking black ninja style and a couple still get headbutted)
Steve Morrison: Poena is going CRAZY in the ring.
Cross Recoba: Poena is usually crazy, but this is Crazy for Poena. He's holding his own against ten men.
Steve Morrison: The Sanctified One is going to be gunning for revenge and I can see him being pretty damn high in line to face whichever Icon wins the strap. But it's going to be a battle of the Icons at Supremacy for our title.
Cross Recoba: Jack Diamond vs Jason Long II. And I have a phone call to make after the show.
Steve Morrison: So for him, Cross Recoba this is me, Steve Morrison saying... see you at Supremacy!
The camera pans from the insane scenes in the ring of Poena randomly slugging a bunch of Security who are on way too low a pay grade to deal with a pissed off Dark Messiah to the entrance ramp where Jack Diamond and Jason Long have retreated to. They exchange a knowing glance as the scene fades to black.
Jack stands and lifts Poena off the mat with his right arm. Jack applies a front facelock with his left arm and emits a pained noise as he lifts The Suffering Fanatic up in a vertical suplex motion before changing the momentum at the arc, using his stronger arm to push Poena off into a sharp Gourdbuster. Jack uses his right arm to try and shake the life back into his left before dropping to cover…
ONE!
TWO!
THR.. Poena kicks out again.
Steve Morrison: The question is, how much of Jack’s offence is being taken away by his injured arm?
Cross Recoba: Working round where you’re hurt is a skill that’s learned in time. And Jack Diamond has a lot of experience in this business to draw from.
Again, as Jack stands he moves his left arm in slow, deliberate movements, attempting to increase the blood flow through Poena’s match long target to speed up removing any numbness contained within. Poena is, again, a little slow to get up so The Icon uses every free second available to recover before slipping behind The Twisted Genius and grabbing a one armed back waistlock. Jack ducks his body low, allowing his legs to do the extra work as he ARCHES BACKWARDS AND HIT POENA WITH A GOD DAMNED ONE ARM GERMAN SUPLEX! Jack rolls over to cover…
ONE!
TWO!
THRE… NO! Poena kicks out.
Crowd: HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!
Steve Morrison: EIGHTY-SIXED! DIAMOND SPLASH!
Jack Diamond goes to lift Poena up onto the turnbuckles, the set up for the Stacked Deck but with his bad arm, it’s taking a ton more effort than it would normally. Jack gets Poena off the canvas… and Poena snags the arm and rolls through! The Sanctified One bars out the arm and yells, “CONFESS!” again.
Steve Morrison: CROSS ARMBREAKER! This has to be it for Jack Diamond!
Cross Recoba: He’s fading fast. I think Jack is running low on options.
Referee Quinn gets in position to as Jack Diamond if he wants to quit. But being this close to the ropes gives Jack an out, and he stretches his legs up towards the middle rope… uses them to push the bulk of his body weight on top of Poena and then rests them on the rope for leverage…
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Big John Quinn calls for the bell and separates the two men and Poena stands up in celebration, thinking that the bell was rung for a tap out victory.
Laura Messier: THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND ADVANCING TO THE TAPOUT OPENWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP FINAL… “THE ACE OF SPADES” JAAAAAAAAAA…
And that’s about as far as Laura gets before Poena has realised what’s happened, formed a face of pure, unearthly hatred, placed two fingers in a V below his mandible and SPRAYED A FACEFUL OF TURQUOISE MIST STRAIGHT AT MESSIER! Laura drops to the mat, screaming but fortunately has enough wits about her to roll the hell out of the ring. Security RUSHES out from the backstage area as Poena turns back to Jack Diamond.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Steve Morrison: Jack Diamond TOTALLY steals the victory!
Cross Recoba: And Poena is PISSED. Amazing Grace to our damn Ring Announcer. He’s gone insane... -er.
The crowd don’t stop booing as Poena stomps away at Jack’s prone body. Hand, injured arm, uninjured arm, head. It doesn’t matter, just a flurry of boots raining down on The Icon. The first security guard hits the ring, only for The Certifiable Lunatic of the Ring to run at him and knee him square in the face! Poena drops to his stomach and drives his thumb RIGHT into the security staffer’s ribcage. The Sanctified One turns to go back to Jack Diamond but senses the second member of Security has hit the ring and he PUNT KICKS HIM RIGHT IN THE NUTSACK! AND ANOTHER FALLING THUMB STRIKE TO THE INTRACOSTAEL AREA!
Steve Morrison: Looks like our security team is getting Sacrificed.
Cross Recoba: I am NOT putting up with this. I’m going to have to deal with this situation later.
Now the third and fourth security guard hit the ring at the same time. Poena grabs the third one around the head the LEAPS INTO THE AIR, HITTING A POWERFUL DROPKICK ON THE FOURTH SECURITY GUARD, ALLOWING HIM TO CHANGE HIS MOMENTUM AND HIT A TORNADO DDT ON THE THIRD ONE.. ONTO THE SECOND ONE!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Poena turns back to Jack Diamond, stomps again on the injured arm and then lifts up his hand. He slowly, carefully separates the outer and inner pairs of fingers as MORE security comes flooding out to stop this carnage. The Chaplain of Contusions shushes the crowd who respond with even more volume…
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
..which Poena revels in for a second as the security begin to hit the ring… WHEN OUT FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE PACK COMES JACK DIAMOND’S FELLOW FORMER MEMBER OF THE ICONS AND FOLLOWING OPPONENT, JASON LONG! LONG DIVES… AT JACK DIAMOND AND HURRIEDLY PULLS HIM AWAY AS FINALLY THERE ARE ENOUGH SECURITY STAFF AROUND POENA TO SUBDUE HIM! (About six, not attacking black ninja style and a couple still get headbutted)
Steve Morrison: Poena is going CRAZY in the ring.
Cross Recoba: Poena is usually crazy, but this is Crazy for Poena. He's holding his own against ten men.
Steve Morrison: The Sanctified One is going to be gunning for revenge and I can see him being pretty damn high in line to face whichever Icon wins the strap. But it's going to be a battle of the Icons at Supremacy for our title.
Cross Recoba: Jack Diamond vs Jason Long II. And I have a phone call to make after the show.
Steve Morrison: So for him, Cross Recoba this is me, Steve Morrison saying... see you at Supremacy!
The camera pans from the insane scenes in the ring of Poena randomly slugging a bunch of Security who are on way too low a pay grade to deal with a pissed off Dark Messiah to the entrance ramp where Jack Diamond and Jason Long have retreated to. They exchange a knowing glance as the scene fades to black.
Jack Diamond: See, that is what I’m having trouble with, Mav. You came out and saved me last night after the match. Where have you been this last month though? Where were you when I called about Dakota. Where were you when I called about Austin. I get it, mate, you’ve been busy with your company. You are also playing your cards close to your vest, trying to become the first Tap Out Champion. I get all that, I do. But when you friend… your FUCKING BROTHER, needed you… where were you? Yeah, I could thank you for last night but FUCK YOU! You came out to save your Supremacy match. You know the money you stand to make with a rematch against me, in that environment, with those stakes. You didn’t come out and pull me out of that ring so that Poena wouldn’t end my career. You pulled me out at the last second…SO YOU COULD!
Jason Long: I asked myself the same question time and time again ever since TAPOUT Wrestling Eight. I’ve been constantly asking myself that very same question for some time now and I continue to believe that maybe there is a way for it to be possible, maybe there is a way for just being Jack Diamond to be enough to tackle someone down. And even though it wasn’t enough on that night, I asked myself if it could happen again. Was there a possibility that it could happen in the near future? The questions, the doubts, it all circled around you, Jack. I wondered if this day could come and I waited for this moment to come. I wanted this to happen more than anyone else could’ve asked for. Actually, I needed this to happen for so many reasons. Earning one victory over a friend that I’ve waited a long time to get one over on was something that I could dream of achieving, earning the second and completing the trilogy with the world watching and so much up for grabs?
I desired it the most.
However, I don’t let my desires become my source of hunger. I don’t let my desires become my motivations either. If I were to listen to those thoughts over and over again and push myself to achieve those desires more than what I can become capable of doing? Then, I’d never be in this situation. And I wouldn’t have saved you, Jack. I wouldn’t have saved you at the last TAPOUT show if I were to listen to those desires. Just imagine the kind of man I’d have been heading into this battle with you seemingly hurt from your injuries if I just left you there to be fed to the wolves, I’m sure you’d have called me a coward for doing so. Though, I could already guess that your ego wasn’t filled enough with that kind of satisfaction that a friend, a former partner inside of the ring, saved your ass from a horrible beating. I’m sure that someone like Jack Diamond would’ve taken them all on – security and Poena himself – in some kind of Jack Diamond versus The World thing going on inside of your head, but anyone would have guessed that outcome, Jack. I just so happened to make sure that wouldn’t come to fruition.
But, in that moment of grabbing you and pulling you out of the ring in retreat of what went on after the match– and in that moment when we looked at one another before looking back at the many inside of the ring, I asked myself one question. Is being Jack Diamond really enough to last?
Another pause, a smile soon began to grow along his lips.
Jason Long: The answer, however, became undeniable: no.
I desired it the most.
However, I don’t let my desires become my source of hunger. I don’t let my desires become my motivations either. If I were to listen to those thoughts over and over again and push myself to achieve those desires more than what I can become capable of doing? Then, I’d never be in this situation. And I wouldn’t have saved you, Jack. I wouldn’t have saved you at the last TAPOUT show if I were to listen to those desires. Just imagine the kind of man I’d have been heading into this battle with you seemingly hurt from your injuries if I just left you there to be fed to the wolves, I’m sure you’d have called me a coward for doing so. Though, I could already guess that your ego wasn’t filled enough with that kind of satisfaction that a friend, a former partner inside of the ring, saved your ass from a horrible beating. I’m sure that someone like Jack Diamond would’ve taken them all on – security and Poena himself – in some kind of Jack Diamond versus The World thing going on inside of your head, but anyone would have guessed that outcome, Jack. I just so happened to make sure that wouldn’t come to fruition.
But, in that moment of grabbing you and pulling you out of the ring in retreat of what went on after the match– and in that moment when we looked at one another before looking back at the many inside of the ring, I asked myself one question. Is being Jack Diamond really enough to last?
Another pause, a smile soon began to grow along his lips.
Jason Long: The answer, however, became undeniable: no.
Jack Diamond: You messed up. This will heal. I'll be ready to go on the twenty ninth. This won't be our last match. I'm not going into this riding an undefeated streak in Tap Out and against you. No, I'm coming in as the underdog. Me. Jack fucking Diamond. The underdog. Everyone says I'm done after what Poena has done to me professionally and personally. I'm going to walk into supremacy with the biggest chip on my shoulder, with no one to fight for except myself, and I'm walking out of the Ball Arena that night with the Tap Out Openweight Championship around my waist. All because you messed up.
Jason Long: For your own sake, Jack. I have to do what needs to be done at Supremacy.
Years that I’ve spent by your side and years that I’d never ever waste away for the sake of one championship belt, I’d happily kick you down but I’d never do anything to destroy this friendship– and that’s where you’re heading for, this is what your own fucked head is making you believe. I’m not a villain like what you may make me out to be, but I’m only a hero. The hero. The Real Hero. And in order to make sure that TAPOUT doesn’t fall into the hands of you, Jack, I must knock you down further into the ground than anyone has ever been able to accomplish. I don’t care if it’s in a box that I send you back to your family or laid out on a hospital bed, I just hope that you find inner peace with yourself once again and let someone else be the valiant hero standing tall. There’s no room for someone like you in this world, in this palace, in this kingdom of mine. There’s no room for the likes of you.
I’ve spent way too long burying my past behind me and making sure that I move on from it all, the only thing that keeps on escaping and getting right back up is you – and maybe, just maybe, that I do want this win so much but I would never make you a fucking sacrifice for it. I would never ever make you a lamb to the slaughter to make sure that I pick up an easy win over you because I know that I don’t get any satisfaction from defeating a wounded Jack Diamond. I don’t get anything from defeating you when you’re down and out. Much like you wouldn’t gain anything for defeating me if I were to have become injured throughout the months when I was supposed to ‘take time off’ to prepare myself for Supremacy.
Years that I’ve spent by your side and years that I’d never ever waste away for the sake of one championship belt, I’d happily kick you down but I’d never do anything to destroy this friendship– and that’s where you’re heading for, this is what your own fucked head is making you believe. I’m not a villain like what you may make me out to be, but I’m only a hero. The hero. The Real Hero. And in order to make sure that TAPOUT doesn’t fall into the hands of you, Jack, I must knock you down further into the ground than anyone has ever been able to accomplish. I don’t care if it’s in a box that I send you back to your family or laid out on a hospital bed, I just hope that you find inner peace with yourself once again and let someone else be the valiant hero standing tall. There’s no room for someone like you in this world, in this palace, in this kingdom of mine. There’s no room for the likes of you.
I’ve spent way too long burying my past behind me and making sure that I move on from it all, the only thing that keeps on escaping and getting right back up is you – and maybe, just maybe, that I do want this win so much but I would never make you a fucking sacrifice for it. I would never ever make you a lamb to the slaughter to make sure that I pick up an easy win over you because I know that I don’t get any satisfaction from defeating a wounded Jack Diamond. I don’t get anything from defeating you when you’re down and out. Much like you wouldn’t gain anything for defeating me if I were to have become injured throughout the months when I was supposed to ‘take time off’ to prepare myself for Supremacy.
Jack Diamond: With everything that has made me the underdog in this match, Jason, you have to be starting to feel the pressure. You want to sit there and ask me questions though? You want to question a quote of mine from months ago that Jack Diamond is enough. Have I not proved time and time again that I am? Yes, you secured the victory last time, but does that really mean I’m not enough? One match? One night.
Jack once again steps towards the camera, so close that only his face is framed in the shot. The lens fogs some at the sudden change in temperature and air before clearing.
Jack Diamond:One night, Jason. That’s all it was. And this Sunday will be another one. One you will never forget. It will be the night that you were so close to putting me away when it matters the most. Oh, so close. But on that one night… you will learn something about me that you always suspected but just never knew for sure.
Jack clenches his jaw for a moment but relaxation washes over his face and the sly curl turns the left side of his lip upwards into a grin, his dimple shining in the candlelight.
Jack Diamond: That when it comes to me being in that ring, I only care about myself. I don’t care about anyone else. Not my opponent. Not my friends. Not my old stable. Not even my family.
He pauses a moment to let that one settle.
Jack Diamond: I may be a lot of things outside of that ring. I may go through more turmoil, more struggle, more pain than I’ve ever imagined possible… but in that ring… especially for this ONE NIGHT… you will have had… ENOUGH!
Jack once again steps towards the camera, so close that only his face is framed in the shot. The lens fogs some at the sudden change in temperature and air before clearing.
Jack Diamond:One night, Jason. That’s all it was. And this Sunday will be another one. One you will never forget. It will be the night that you were so close to putting me away when it matters the most. Oh, so close. But on that one night… you will learn something about me that you always suspected but just never knew for sure.
Jack clenches his jaw for a moment but relaxation washes over his face and the sly curl turns the left side of his lip upwards into a grin, his dimple shining in the candlelight.
Jack Diamond: That when it comes to me being in that ring, I only care about myself. I don’t care about anyone else. Not my opponent. Not my friends. Not my old stable. Not even my family.
He pauses a moment to let that one settle.
Jack Diamond: I may be a lot of things outside of that ring. I may go through more turmoil, more struggle, more pain than I’ve ever imagined possible… but in that ring… especially for this ONE NIGHT… you will have had… ENOUGH!
Jason Long: I never had to worry about it when I chose the hard route to Supremacy because I knew that any task thrown towards me would’ve been met with the same fate that so many have fallen under for me to get to this very position right now. Though you couldn’t do the same, huh? I saved you multiple times, I helped you when you needed it the most, but the one time before our match – with so much on the line and with the odds against you so much, to the point where it can only take me three seconds to win over your six – that’s when you draw the line in the sand. You’re so pathetic.
Whilst you’ve seemed to put the blame on your whole life falling apart on me, let me remind you of the one constant that you’ve had onto me ever since you’ve come back. You become the let down of The Icon name. You’ve become the let down of everyone who supported you. You fell and you cannot get back up on your own. That’s how much of a let down that you’ve become to me, to your family, to the fans, and to this company. So, I won’t let you become the champion of TAPOUT, Jack, and I will make sure you never let everyone down anymore.
And you will never let me down again.
Whilst you’ve seemed to put the blame on your whole life falling apart on me, let me remind you of the one constant that you’ve had onto me ever since you’ve come back. You become the let down of The Icon name. You’ve become the let down of everyone who supported you. You fell and you cannot get back up on your own. That’s how much of a let down that you’ve become to me, to your family, to the fans, and to this company. So, I won’t let you become the champion of TAPOUT, Jack, and I will make sure you never let everyone down anymore.
And you will never let me down again.
The house lights go out as the crowd begins to buzz.
Top, to the top, ain't never gonna stop
To the top, to the top, ain't never gonna stop
Pyro explodes as the chorus of "Legendary" by Skillet begins to play and the crowd erupts into cheers and chants begin to break out of "Icons" and "Diamond Club".
Jack Diamond emerges on the stage with a huge grin on his face, nodding his head to the beat of the music. He adjusts his leather jacket and soaks in the moment. He mouths the word "Legendary" and begins to make his way to the ring acknowledging the fans as only Jack Diamond can do.
Steve Morrison: Jack Diamond, facing the tougher road to win this match.
Cross Recoba: He’s fought through adversity worse than this in his career. If anyone can come back from an effective one hole deficit it’s Jack.
As he gets to the ring, he climbs the stairs and walks the apron over to the far turnbuckle. He ascends the outside of the corner and plays to the crowd as more pyro goes off.
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, legendary
Steve Morrison: You’ve been across the ring from Jack Diamond before. What was that like?
Cross Recoba: He’s a hard striker, sneaky fast and a solid technician. A tough opponent all told.
Jack jumps down into the ring and heads to the center before throwing up the Diamond sign to loud cheers. He removes his leather jacket, handing it to the timekeeper before heading to his corner and stretching and preparing for the match.
Steve Morrison: All the pressure is on Jack Diamond.
Cross Recoba: Could that pressure be the making of Diamond, in Tapout anyway?
The sounds of a siren playing in the background of the whispers of a voice, the lights become dark inside of the arena as the titantron lights up with a feed of static, showing multiple shots of Jason Long holding a collection of championships over the past five years.
As the opening synthwave beat to ‘Kingslayer’ begins to play over the speakers and echoing throughout the arena as it erupts the crowd, a singular spotlight separates itself from the rest and shines down onto the entrance curtain. With the vocals from Oli Sykes kicking in, the figure of Jason Long steps out from behind the curtain to a loud ovation, with a large smile resting on his face as he stops at the top of the ramp.
Steve Morrison: Jack Diamond vs Jason Long. It’s almost as it was meant to be.
Cross Recoba: Well, sometimes these stories write themselves.
The King glances down onto the camera looking up towards him, a cocky smile being given towards the camera before opening up his jacket and pushing it behind him– beginning his walk down to the ring, mouthing off to the camera as he does.
Steve Morrison: How much of an advantage will Long have, already having beaten Jack Diamond in the tournament?
Cross Recoba: A lesser competitor might become complacent. But Jason isn’t that kind of professional wrestler.
With the lights all focusing down onto the ringside area, Jason moves along the floor and hops up onto the apron - on the side where the hardcam can get a good look at him - as he leans back against the ropes before entering through the middle ropes. Jason heads into the closest corner to him and climbs up onto the second rope, looking out into the crowd.
Steve Morrison: Jason certainly looks up for the fight tonight.
Cross Recoba: And it’s a fight he’s going to get. This is going to be great.
Jason out-stetches his arms wide and roars out to the crowd, keeping a smile on his face as he does. He removes his leather ring jacket and throws it down to the ringside area before hopping down off of the ropes and leaning back against the turnbuckles.
Steve Morrison: Let’s throw it down to Laura for the ring introductions.
Cross Recoba: Unless there’s any further delay...
“Be Legendary” by Pop Evil starts playing over the sound system. The fans start to cheer in anticipation as purple lights swirl around the arena. When the lyrics come in, all of the house lights come up, illuminating the entire arena in a swathe of Purple and the spotlights converge on the entrance way as Bobby Barratt appears on the stage.
Bobby Barratt: SUPREMACY? This is a message FOR The Icons. Jack? Mav? Well done on making it to the Openweight final. And this… this is a message FROM The Icons. Whoever is in charge of this show should have got the AC turned down because it’s waaaay too hot in here...
Steve Morrison: It’s Bobby Barratt! It’s a full on Icon reunion!
Barratt grabs the bottom of his “Icon Forever” T-shirt revealing a Tapout Wrestling referee shirt! The pop from the crowd is deafening as Bobby begins to take that old slow, plodding walk down to the ring before stepping in and exchanging handshakes with both of his former stablemates.
Cross Recoba: Sometimes you need to call the right man for a job. And I think I did.
Laura Messier: The following match is for the Tapout Openweight Championship. Standing to my left, fighting out of Las Vegas, Nevada by way of Cherokee, North Carolina. He made weight at one-hundred-and-ninety-five pounds...THE ACE...OF SPADES!!! JACK.....DIAMOND!!!
Diamond throws up the spade sign as the crowd bursts out in a huge cheer.
Laura Messier:And their opponent, standing to my right, wrestling out of Wexford Town, County Wexford, Ireland and weighing in tonight at one hundred and ninety-five pounds… HE IS THE LAST BREATHING MERCENARY… THE KING OF WRESTLING… THIS IS JAAAAAASSSOONNNNNNNNNNN LOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG!!!!
Jason Long decides to outshine his former ally for moment zero, showing off his athleticism with a perfect standing backflip.
Laura Messier: As Jack Diamond won the Losers’ Bracket, he requires two straight falls to win this match. Jason Long only requires one fall…
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Laura Messier: …to win the belt. Your referee for this match, “THE PRODIGY” BOBBYYYY BAAAARAAAAATT!
Bobby acknowledges the crowd with a cheeky grin. He pats down both of the other Icons and signals for the bell.
TAPOUT Openweight Championship
Jason needs 1 Fall to Win, Jack needs 2 Falls to Win
Special Guest Referee: Bobby Barratt
Jason Long vs Jack Diamond
Jason needs 1 Fall to Win, Jack needs 2 Falls to Win
Special Guest Referee: Bobby Barratt
Jason Long vs Jack Diamond
DINGDINDING!
Steve Morrison: This is it. This is for all the marbles. Here we go, boys!
The long time allies turned personal rivals stare each other out. Jason Long circles, looking for an avenue to attack Jack Diamond but the Ace of Spades moves himself, carefully watching Long’s feet so he can match the movements of his younger opponent. The pair stop, eyes fixed in a mutual steely glare. Long takes a half step forward and raises his fighting stance, a loose, languid stance that allows him to throw his dangerous kicks and Diamond takes his own tighter, more vertical position. The gazes don’t break an inch as Diamond takes his own step towards the catalyst. Words are exchanged between the pair, inaudible under the roar of the crowd. The pair close by another step between them. You could cut the tension with a particularly blunt butter knife as the two Icons edge closer still, neither throwing the first blow.
Steve Morrison: Two warriors. Two great athletes. One prize.
Long drops his guard for a second, knowing that he’s out of easy striking range at present. He makes a motion around his waist, signalling that the title is his to win and his alone. Jack responds in kind, believing fully that, despite his disadvantage, it will be him that’s going home with the belt. The pair, now with guards down, take a massive stride towards each other, still jaw jacking, still not looking to give the other man the advantage that twitching first. Another stride forward from the competitors and now the distance is close enough that if they wanted to throw a kick it would definitely land. Another step and now it’s range for a punch or the full extension on a chop. Another step and now it’s elbow range. And still the eyes of both men are burning a hole through each other’s skull. One more half step and the pair are SCREAMING into each other’s face, all the pain of Long not being there for Diamond when he was at his personal lowest coming out. All the hurt that being treated like the least amongst three men coming from Long. Their foreheads meet and then Jack Diamond pulls away first…
AND WITH ONE SWING OF HIS ARM, SLAPS THE SPIT OUT OF JASON LONG’S MOUTH! THE CRACK OF FLESH ON FLESH RINGS OUT AROUND THE ARENA, LOUD ENOUGH TO BE PICKED UP ON THE COMMENTATOR’S MICS.
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Steve Morrison: THE SLAP! THE SLAP HEARD ROUND THE WORLD!
Cross Recoba: There was a lot of frustration behind that. A lot of pent up hurt.
With a chuckle, a sly grin Jason Long slowly turns his head back towards Diamond. The former Maverick looks almost pleased with himself that he’s managed to rattle The Ace of Spades so much. Long points at his chin, daring Diamond to hit him again. Jackie Boy obliges by swinging his arm with so much force as to knock The Catalysts’ teeth out if he makes contact but Long was thinking one step ahead and ducks backwards, creating enough space to lash Diamond’s ribcage with a kick with the flat of his foot. Now the Last Breathing Mercenary is up on his toes as he switches stance fires off a second kick from Southpaw and then switches back and cracks the ribs again with a third scything kick. Diamond drops his guard lower so he can better cover up from waist level shots and Long uses the opportunity to SWING HIS ARM ABOVE JACK’S GUARD AND SLAP THE PISS OUT OF HIS FORMER ALLY!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Steve Morrison: What goes around comes around.
Cross Recoba: Last time these two faced it was a sporting encounter. This appears to be deathly personal.
But it’s Jack who comes ROARING back in response, slicing into The Catalyst’s chest area with three, four, five rapid fire chops. Diamond gets busy with his feet now, firing off a kick to the right shin of Jason Long followed by one to the left shin. A short stagger by by Long is capitalized on immediately by The Ace of Spades going for his own rib shots, juddering The Best Bout Machine with some of Jack’s best kicks. Now Jack considers headhunting, arcing his boot through the air and looking to knock the Irishman’s head off his shoulders, but Long ducks underneath the blow and runs towards the ropes. The former Maverick rebounds and launches himself into a spinning heel kick as Jack ducks under that, trying to wheel into a sweep kick to take Long’s legs out. Jason rolls back to his his feet with the momentum as Jack stands and the pair step to a side, cock back a leg and WHISTLE ICONKICKS INTO THE SPOT THEIR OPPONENTS JUST VACATED!
Crowd: TAAAAAAAAAP-OOOOOOOOOOOOUT! TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP-OOOOOOOUT!
Steve Morrison: STEREO ICONKICKS MISS!
Cross Recoba: When you know your opponent as well as Jack Diamond and Jason Long know each other, you often have the same thought.
There is a momentary lull in the action as both men compose themselves. Jason Long wipes sweat out of his mop of long dirty brown hair while Jack may not look anywhere near spent but is obviously appreciating a breather to the fast paced start of the match. Long starts the action back up with a firm chop to Jack Diamond’s chest…
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
And Jack responds with a chop of his own…
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The Irishman chops back…
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
And the Vegas native chops back himself
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
And this time it’s Jason Long’s turn to show a little fury, going WILD with machine gun chops that back Jack Diamond all the way into a corner and JUST DON’T STOP while Jack is trapped in there. Bobby Barratt comes over to put on a five count on Long who backs away as he is instructed but Jackie Boy reaches out of the corner and snags Long, turning the pair around and HE starts machine gun chopping away at Mav! Now Bobby has to put the count on Jack and Jack reluctantly ceases his assault.
Steve Morrison: Bobby Barratt calling it right down the middle in this match.
Cross Recoba: It’s what I expected. And why I made that call.
But Jack Diamond isn’t going to give a clean break to Jason Long, not with this much at stake and he wheels away to get a short circular run up and hits and with Long trapped in the corner, Diamond hits a beautiful spinning heel kick that sends BOTH men spilling over the ropes onto the ring apron! Diamond is quicker to get up than The Catalyst and the Ace of Spades kicks Long’s legs out from under him, landing The King hard, back first onto the ring apron. Jackie Boy hops back over the ropes and rushes across the ring, sliding into a two footed baseball side that knocks Long clean off the ring apron and into a crumpled heap on the floor. Diamond slides off the apron and fires a few pointed toe kicks into The Best Bout Machine’s prone form as Bobby Barratt looks over and tells the competitors to bring it back inside.
Steve Morrison: What happens in the event of a double count out, boss?
Cross Recoba: That would count as one fall to each competitor and then Jason Long wins. But Jack has been informed of the rules and is going to want to get the match back in the ring.
It doesn’t take long for that lightbulb to go off inside Jack Diamond’s head and after lifting Jason Long up, pushing him back first into the ring apron and firing off some more fierce looking chops, the Vegas resident slings The Catalyst back inside before clambering in himself. Diamond drops to cover…
ONE!
TWO!
TH.. Jason Long kicks out.
Steve Morrison: What about a single contout?
Cross Recoba: That would help Jack Diamond’s chances of winning… but if the venom and bitterness between the pair in the lead up to the match is anything to go by, Jack wants this settled definitively.
With Jason Long weary looking, at least temporarily, Jack Diamond lines up his shot and postures up, waiting for Maverick to stand up. Slowly, first facing away from JF’ND then turning to face him, Maverick gets to a vertical base. Jack picks his spot, cocks his leg back and FIRES OFF A PRECISE SUPERKICK…
Steve Morrison: ICONKICK!
...WHICH JASON LONG DUCKS BY FLATTENING HIS BODY TO THE MAT!
Crowd: IIIIIIIIIIIIII-COOOOOOOONS! IIIIIIIIIIIIII-COOOOOOOONS!
Steve Morrison: NO! JACK WHIFFS!
Cross Recoba: Jason Long knows how much of a match ender the Iconkick can be. Or even a momentum switcher as it was in their last encounter.
Jack Diamond rushes the far ropes, looking to capitalise and he extends an arm, Jason Long’s head being the primary target for a devastating clothesline. The Mercenary looks primed and ready to be flattened with the most basic of wrestling attacks… BUT JASON LONG SNAGS THE ARM! LONG TRANSITIONS QUICKLY TO A HAMMERLOCK, FIRES DIAMOND OFF, REELS HIM BACK IN AND HITS A BRUTAL JUMPING LARIAT!
Steve Morrison: BLADE RUNNER II!
Long covers…
ONE!
TWO!
THR… Diamond Kicks out!
Steve Morrison: Oh my god that was close.
Cross Recoba: It just takes three seconds to end it for Long. And he nearly did it then.
Crowd: JACK DYE-MOND! JACK DYE-MOND! JACK DYE-MOND!
Pounding the mat in frustration, Jason Long allows Jack Diamond to stand again, albeit on wobbly legs. As Jack careers around the ring, stunned by the force of that lariat, The Caralyst picks his spot and rushes the ropes, timing his next move to perfection. Long jumps as he reaches the ropes, bounces off the second rope for some extra height and CONNECTS THE POINT OF HIS KNEE FLUSH WITH JACK DIAMOND’S FACE!
Steve Morrison: KING SLAYER III!
Long drops again to cover…
ONE!
TWO!
THRE.. NO! DIAMOND KICKS OUT!
Crowd: JACK DYE-MOND! JACK DYE-MOND!
Steve Morrison: Not enough again!
Cross Recoba: Jason Long is really feeling it. He can almost taste the belt.
Long regains his footing quickly and adds a few savage stomps to Jack Diamond’s chest. The Last Breathing Mercenary backs away to the ropes and breathes in heavily before forming finger guns with both his hands and slowly lowering them towards where Jack is laying. Jack Diamond slowly. Ever so gingerly gets up to one knee and THE CATALYST CHARGES IN AT FULL SPEED, LOOKING TO KNOCK HIS FORMER ALLY OUT WITH ONE OF THOSE WELL PRACTISED, WELL HONED KNEE STRIKES…
Steve Morrison: FINAL FLASH!
BUT JACKIE BOY THROWS HIMSELF BACK DOWN TO THE MAT AND THE ERSTWHILE MAVERICK GOES SAILING OVER HIM! Maverick lands on his feet and keeps ono heading towards the ropes as Jack scrambles round. Maverick heads back towards where Jack is laying and LEAPS FOR A SECOND FINAL FLASH ATTEMPT! BUT THE ACE OF SPADES DIVES FORWARD TO NOT ONLY GO UNDERNEATH JASON LONG BUT TO CLIP THE CATALYST’S TRAILING LEG OUT WITH HIS SHOULDER! Long lands in a crumpled heap.
Steve Morrison: Sometimes you just have to act on instinctt and I reckon that’s what Jack Diamond was doing there.
Cross Recoba: It’s fine to act on instinct when that instinct is correct.
Laid out on the mat, 1Jason Long is holding his leg, the force of the connection between shoulder and shin having twisted his leg back in the most painful of fashions. Using the middle rope to lever himself off the mat, Jack Diamond stands and he turns to face the pile where The Catalyst is laying. As Long slowly stands, a pained expression on his face, Jack slaps his thigh two, three times. And that can only signal one thing…
JACK DIAMOND COCKS HIS LEG BACK AND ATTEMPTS TO STUFF HIS BOOT INTO JASON LONG’S SKULL!
Steve Morrison: ICONKICK!
LONG WOBBLES AND STUMBLES BACK A FEW STEPS AND JACK STRIDES FORWARD, COCKS HIS LEG BACK, FIRING IT OFF AT A DOWNWARDS ANGLE INTO THE SHIN OF JASON LONG’S RECENTLY INJURED LEG!
Steve Morrison: ICONKICK TO THE SHIN!
NOW LONG DROPS TO A KNEE, SHOCKED BY THE IMPACT OF THAT LAST KICK. JACK FUUUUUUUUUUCKING DIAMOND REARS THAT LEG BACK ONE MORE TIME…. ICONKICK TO THE FACE OF THE KNEELING JASON LONG!
Steve Morrison: AND ONE MORE ICONKICK!
Bobby Barratt is in position to count the cover attempt…
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Steve Morrison: JACK DIAMOND HAS DONE IT! HE’S RESET THE BRACKET!
Cross Recoba: Now the hard work sets in. Now he has to beat Jason Long AGAIN to win that belt.
Laura Messier: The winner of the first fall, JAAAAAAAAAAACK DIIIIIIIIIIIAMOOOOOOND. There will now be a 2 minute break and when the match restarts, it will be ONE FALL to decide the Tapout Openweight Championship!
We open on a sunny desert scene. A scorpion skitters across the screen, hopping across a small can. It kicks the can and it rolls over to show the Bastard Brews logo.
Sam Elliot (VO): Bastard Brew. The toughest beer for the toughest bastards.
Steve Morrison: Well, that was a hell of a first half of this match.
Cross Recoba: And luckily for Jack Diamond it IS only the first half of this match. Well, actually through more skill than luck, but you know what I’m getting at.
Steve Morrison: What’s Jack’s gameplan for the second fall going to be?
Cross Recoba: He has to capitalise on the advantage. Press forwards with the momentum.
Steve Morrison: And what about for Jason Long?
Cross Recoba: We’re back to zero. Right back where we started. It’s just a regular title match for both competitors now. And Long needs to treat it as such.
Crowd: LET’S GO JA-SON! LET’S GO JACK! LET’S GO JA-SON! LET’S GO JACK!
With the crowd buzzing, Bobby Barratt signals for the timekeeper to ring the bell…
DINGDINGDING!
...and we are back underway. Seeing Jason Long favouring his leg, Jack is on it like a shot. Rushing like a bull whose gate has just been opened, Jack launches himself across the ring like a missile and chop blocks The Catalyst, sending him spilling down to mat level. Jack Diamond covers…
ONE!
TWO!
...Long kicks out.
Steve Morrison: Was that an attempt to steal the match seconds into the second fall?
Cross Recoba: Trying to capitalise on any lingering damage from that trifecta of Iconkicks. Sometimes you don’t care about how you get a victory. Sometimes you just want to win.
With a target clearly in mind, Jack Diamond hauls Jason Long up with him as he stands. Diamond warps one arm around the waist of The Catalyst and hooks the injured leg with the other one before lifting Long off the mat like the start of a modified belly to belly suplex, but rather than bridging backwards, The Ace of Spades sticks a knee out and changes the direction of the move, dropping the Irishman’s shinbone across the knee. Diamond drops for another quick cover attempt and Bobby Barratt gets down to check the pin…
ONE!
TWO!
T… Long raises a shoulder.
Steve Morrison: Jack Diamond showing his abiility to isolate a limb here.
Cross Recoba: And I’m sure he’s thinking Aces Wild, his figure four leglock. And unlike some, Jack will remember to put it on the correct leg.
Jack is quite sprightly in getting up to his feet, energized by his first fall victory and being in control of the match. He fires a couple of toe kicks at the upper leg of Jason Long before dragging the unfortunate Irishman off the mat again, firing a couple of short elbows into Long’s face to keep him stunned. Diamond lifts up that leg again and wraps his arm tightly around at the ankle before falling backwards to the mat, driving the foot straight into the canvas. Jack slides across to cover again…
ONE!
TWO!
Jack pumps his legs and balances them on the bottom rope….
THREE… NO! BOBBY BARRATT SPOTS JACK’S ATTEMPT TO CHEAT AND REFUSES TO COUNT THE FALL!
Crowd: LET’S GO JASON, LET’S GO! LET’S GO JASON, LET’S GO!
Steve Morrison: Jack Diamond trying to cheat to win!
Cross Recoba: Once an Icon, always an Icon. But having an Icon as a referee means that sort of thing gets noticed!
Not without flashing a disgusted look Bobby’s way which earns him a point to the referee’s logo on his shirt. Jack turns back to Jason Long and lifts the leg he’s been working on. Jack looks around to the crowd who seem to be favouring the Irishman, probably due to him being mercilessly attacked at this present moment and Jack’s usual attempt at cheating. Diamond steps through and forms a four around that leg before dropping to the mat, wrenching the leg and causing an expression of sheer agony to cross The Catalyst’s face. Barratt is in position to check if Long is about to quit but there’s no surrender in Long’s face.
Steve Morrison: ACES WILD! JASON LONG IS IN TROUBLE NOW!
Cross Recoba: Jack Diamond is an opportunist. Always has been. And that opportunity has presented itself in Jason Long’s leg.
Long stresses and strains, attempting to break free of the submission predicament but Jack Diamond has his favourite submission locked in tight. There is no working out of the hold as Jack orders Bobby Barratt to ask the third member of their former trifecta if he wants to quit. Long vigorously shakes his head, unwilling to give up his shot at the Tapout Title no matter what pain he’s in. Raising his body up a little, The Ace of Spades attempts to add a little extra pressure to Jason’s leg, angling the direction to one that is fractionally more painful. But then fractions matter in this sport.
Crowd: PLEASE DON’T TAP! PLEASE DON’T TAP!
Steve Morrison: You can’t imagine the pain shooting through Jason Long’s body right now!
Cross Recoba: Not unless you’ve been there. The Figure Four is one of professional wrestling’s most tried and trusted techniques and if you’ve trained it, you might as well use it.
Aiming to grasp every ounce of pain and suffering he can manage to wring out of Long’s leg, Jack Diamond bridges back a little further, arching his back to shoot great waves of pain through the leg but losing a mite of control in the process, allowing Jason Long to start turning the pile. Jack is practically screaming out his “ASK HIM!” as he so desperately wants the title, so desperately wants a slice of redemption at the cost of man who he considers to have left him all alone in his darkest0 hour. Bobby Barratt asks Jason Long again and there is a booming “NO!” in response. Long shuffles his shoulders to the left, forcing Jack to shuffle a little himself to try and block a position change…
BUT JASON LONG TWISTS HIS BODY THE OTHER WAY AND FLIPS THE PILE, TURNING THE HOLD INTO AN INDIAN DEATHLOCK! Jack’s face screws up in pain but he decides to ride the momentum and JACK FLIPS THE PILE AGAIN REAPPLYING ACES WILD! BUT THOSE ROLLS HAVE LEFT THE PAIR TOO CLOSE TO THE ROPES! THE MERCENARY REACHES OUT AND GRABS THE BOTTOM ROPE! Bobby Barratt puts a count on…
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIIIIIII… Jack relinquishes the hold.
Crowd: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAH!
Steve Morrison: Jason Long breaks the hold!
Cross Recoba: But how much damage was done? This is going to make the next part of the match fascinating.
Long is slow, naturally, to get back to his feet. His expression is a twisted mockery of his usual confidence. Jack Diamond sense it’s time for this all to end. He lifts up the Irishman, walks him to a corner and places Jason Long on the top turnbuckle. He drapes The Catalyst’s head down over one shoulder and takes a deep breath in…
Steve Morrison: STACKED DECK!
...BUT JASON LONG GRASPS DESPERATELY AT THE HOOKING ARM, TWISTS IT OUT AND LEAPS FROM THE TURNBUCKLE, THROWING HIS LEGS AROUND JACK DIAMOND’S SHOULDERS AS HE FALLS TO THE MAT!
Steve Morrison: NO! REVERSED INTO THE SANTIAGO CLASSIC!
Cross Recoba: That’s the arm Poena was giving the business to.
Steve Morrison: Jack said it was fully healed up.
Cross Recoba: We’ll see if that’s true.
There is a certain level of Poena like dog with a bone to the ferocity which Long is applying the armbar. But that could be caused by desperation more than anything else. The familiar Irish tones come out loud and strained as the call to “ASK HIM!” leaves The Mercenary’s lips but there is as much annoyance in Jack Diamond’s voice as there is defiance. Bobby Barratt gets in the perfect position to check for a tap out as the former Maverick slowly works his hands further up Jack’s arm before bending his finger joints backwards in a most uncomfortable fashion.
Steve Morrison: That looks agnoizing.
Cross Recoba: If Poena had got off THE SNAP, that would have been an instant submission. Maybe Jason Long will regret saving Jack Diamond last week.
Crowd: JACK DYE-MOND! JACK DYE-MOND! JACK DYE-MOND!
Bobby gets down to check again but Diamond HISSES a “NO!” at him. Jason Long feels that he can make his position more dominant and knowing Bobby is watching the reactions of Jack Diamond rather than what he’s doing, Long reaches an arm backwards and grabs the bottom rope, using it to raise his body off mat level and apply a little extra leverage to the hold. And Bobby… SPOTS IT IMMEDIATELY AND CALLS FOR A BREAK!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIIII… Jason Long relinquishes the hold! Now it’s The Catalyst who is shooting daggers at the referee and again Barratt points to the logo emblazoned on his shirt.
Steve Morrison: It takes a cheat to know a cheat. And Bobby knows his cheating.
Cross Recoba: But will that extra damage make the difference?
Both men are slow to rise. Long still favouring that leg of his, Jack trying to get the blood pumping to his arm. Diamond walks towards the middle of the ring where The Irishman is composing himself but with a Herculean effort, Jason Long swings his injured leg up as a counterweight to firing off a sharp rising knee strike!
Steve Morrison: KING SLAYER!
Long follows up with a palm strike to the bread basket which doubles up Jack Diamond. With a fierce expression on his face, The Mercenary stuffs Diamond into a standing head scissors and with a look around the arena, butterflies first the non injured arm, then the injured one, which causes a grunt of pain from Jack, before lifting The Ace of Spades up, inverting him. Long staggers a little, struggling to keep control through the pain but he guts through it and steps through, planting his stronger leg bent on the mat and DROPS JACK DIAMOND SHOULDER FIRST ONTO HIS KNEE!
Steve Morrison: CROWN TUNDRA ‘22!
Long covers and Bobby is right there…
ONE!
TWO!
THR.. Jack kicks out!
Crowd: JACK DYE-MOND! JACK DYE-MOND! JACK DYE-MOND!
Steve Morrison: Now it’s Jason Long that’s rolling.
Cross Recoba: The ebb and flow of this match has been fascinating.
With the bit firmly between his teeth, Long backs off a couple of steps and composes his next plan of attack. He wafts a loose kick towards Diamond’s head, causing Jackie Boy to reflexively turn away to lessen the impact of the blow. But in doing so, Jack puts the weak arm forward and Long reverses direction and SPINS, SLAMMING HIS ELBOW RIGHT INTO THE UPPER ARM!
Steve Morrison: STARDUST BREAKER!
And without a hesitation for thought, Jason Long snags his former fellow Icon as he’s turned around and lifts Diamond up for a back suplex, before relasing him and spinning on the spot at the apex of the move, lifting his knee RIGHT INTO THE SHOULDER BLADE of Jack Diamond.
Steve Morrison: MODIFIED DEATH CULT!
And once more Long covers…
ONE!
TWO!
THRE… JACK DIAMOND KICKS OUT!
Steve Morrison: Jason Long is a genius for modifying his offense to fit what he’s trying to achieve,
Cross Recoba: He’s always been wise beyond his years.
Jack Diamond is down on the mat, desperately clutching at the shoulder. And for the first time in the match, Jason Long looks up at the top turnbuckle. Long drags The Ace of Spades nearer to the corner and despite the injuries, despite the fatigue, The Catalyst begins to ascend. The crowd noise builds, filled with the anticipation of one of the Irishman’s signature high flying attacks. Up to the second turnbuckle. Then ever so slowly up to the top. And with a blind leap LONG JUMPS OFF, ROTATING IN THE AIR THROUGH 180 DEGREES ON ONE AXIS AND AN EYEWATERING 630 THROUGH ANOTHER.
Steve Morrison: CATACLYSM II!
BUT JACK DIAMOND ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! JASON LONG GOES SPLAT, BACK FIRST ONTO THE CANVAS!
[b[Crowd[/b]: HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!
Steve Morrison: NO! THE LAST BREATHING MERCENARY FINDS NO WATER IN THE POOL!
Cross Recoba: Long is such an accomplished high flyer but with the damage to his leg? Possibly a misstep.
Diamond scrambles over to make the cover…
ONE!
TWO!
THRE… NO! LONG KICKS OUT!
Now it’s Jack’s chance to strike. He backs away from where Jason Long stands until he is resting against the opposite turnbuckles. The Catalyst is slow to get off the mat but he does, at least have the corner to slowly lever himself up off the canvas. He has time to get up. But he doesn’t have time to get out of the way as JACK DIAMOND CHARGES ACROSS THE LONGEST DISTANCE THE RING CAN OFFER, HITTING A FULL SPEED, CORNER TO CORNER SHOTGUN DROPKICK. Long slumps to the canvas and Diamond slips in for the quick cover…
ONE!
TWO!
THRE… AND LONG KICKS OUT AGAIN!
Steve Morrison: JASON LONG GOT 86ed! STILL NOT ENOUGH!
Cross Recoba: This has been a war. An all out conflict.
With Long near the corner, Diamond knows what will finish the job off. He picks The Catalyst off the mat and begins to lift him, looking to set up the Stacked Deck. But Jason Long knows what’s about to happen and pivots on his good foot to slip behind Jackie Boy. Mav slips in a Half Nelson and flat out muscles Diamond around, lifting The Ace of Spades up before sitting out SPIKING DIAMOND DOWN INTO THE MAT! Long hooks a leg…
ONE!
TWO!
THRE… DIAMOND KICKS OUT!
Steve Morrison: TEARS OF THE KINGDOM FROM LONG! STILL NOT ENOUGH!
Crowd: LET’S GO ICONS! LET’S GO ICONS!
Long gets to his feet and backs away. He waits until Jack Diamond has got up to one knee and charges in LEAPING INTO THE AIR, LOOKING TO STOMP DIAMOND’S HEAD FLAT… BUT DIAMOND LOG ROLLS ALONG THE MAT AND WHIPS OUT THE WEAK LEG. Diamond gets back to his feet and charges in at Long’s prone body as the Irishmanstarts to raise his head AND DIAMOND STOMPS LONG’S FACE STRAIGHT DOWN!
Steve Morrison: VANITY KILLER FROM DIAMOND!
ONE!
TWO!
TH… NO! Diamond picks Long up and looks to sling him into the corner but The Catalyst reverses the Irish Whip and it’s Jack who crashes back first into the post. Long follows him in with as much speed as his body will allow, plus about ten percent and leaps, colliding chest to chest with his opponent. Without any hesitation, The Mercenary grabs Jack and places him on the top turnbuckle, hooks the head and JUMPS OUT, CRUSHING JACK DIAMOND’S HEAD AGAINST LONG’S SHOULDER BLADE AS HE FALLS!
ONE!
TWO!
TH...NO! JACK DIAMOND KICKS OUT!
Crowd: FIGHT FOR-EVER!
Steve Morrison: DIAMOND SPLASH INTO THE STACKED DECK FROM JASON LONG! STIIIIIIIILL NOT ENOUGH!
Cross Recoba: These boys have thrown everything at each other.
Both men are down, spent. It takes a while, a long while for the two men to get back to their feet. The crowd noise is loud enough to raise the dead. It’s also loud enough to raise the two combatants. Through the sweat, the pain, the sacrifice the pair exchange one final glare of sheer determination. And together, as if of one mind they cock their legs, load up that massive shotgun of a superkick they both possess and fire…
...AND LONG’S LEG BUCKLES TRYING TO THROW THE KICK! JACK DIAMOND CONNECTS, MAYBE NOT FLUSH BUT ENOUGH TO SEND JACK DIAMOND REELING.
Steve Morrison: THEY BOTH WENT FOR THE ICONKICK!
Cross Recoba: But unlike their last meeting, only one man hit the target.
Jack doesn’t even bother to cover, he just hauls Jason Long off the mat and grabs him, walking The Catalyst to a corner. Diamond deposits Long on the top rope and STARTS ASCENDING THE TURNBUCKLE HIMSELF. With both men positioned on the top rope, Jack turns, facing inwards towards the ring and hooks in that three quarter facelock. He pauses for a second before LEAPING OFF INTO THE RING, IMPACTING LONG’S HEAD ON HIS SHOULDER…
Steve Morrison: SKYSCRAPER STACKED DECK!
Crowd: HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!
Diamond covers…
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Steve Morrison: WHAT A FINISH! WHAT A CONTEST!
Cross Recoba: Let’s throw this to Laura before you blow your vocal cords out.
Laura Messier: The winner of this match and the inaugural Tapout Wrestling Openweight Champion…JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAMOND!
Bobby Barratt raises Jack’s hand as the cheers of the fans rain down from every corner. Cross Recoba steps out from behind the announce table and presents the belt to Jack who collapses to his knees in sheer exhaustion.
Steve Morrison: Well, folks. It’s been an honour to call this match. For Cross Recoba, I’ve been Steve Morrison throwing over to the rest of the show.
The chatter after the last match dies down as Bonnie Jenkins makes her way into the ring.
Bonnie Jenkins: Ladies and gentlemen... the following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Bonnie Jenkins: And is your MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN EVVVVVVVVEEEENT OF THE EEEEEEEEEEEVENIIIIIIIIIIIING!
The crowd cheers wildly, they're jam-packed into the Ball Arena like sardines in a can but dammit their voices WILL be heard!
"Knights of Cydonia" by Muse plays. Immediately, Copycat runs toward the ring. He's wasting no time as he enters the ring in preparation for the start of the match.
Bonnie Jenkins: In the ring at this time, representing CAR! He stands at FIVE FEET, TEN INCHES TALL! And he weighed in this evening at a malnourished TWO HUNDRED AND EIGHT POUNDS! He's the former Eggciting Eggplant Champion, the final AWF eXtreme Champion, give it up for the one! The only! COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPYCAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!
Hawke: You know it's a miracle that Copycat made it through the qualifying Xtraction match without taking any major bumps to his baby bump.
Randy: Well Hawke it's like everyone says, God always finds a way.
Hawke: There are several parts of that that people are going to pick apart and argue over. But don't they say that about getting pregnant? Not staying pregnant?
Randy: Oh I dunno. I don't have kids.
The heavy strums of a guitar play as the lights dim and swirl around the arena.
You say I need psychotherapy
Now you're making me mad
I say you quit trying to fix me
Or this is gonna get bad
Now you're making me mad
I say you quit trying to fix me
Or this is gonna get bad
All the spotlights convene on the stage where a figure rises from the stage. He slowly spins with his arms outstretched and wrapped in tapes. He faces the ramp and ring but keeps his head down.
If you want a battle, I'll give you a war
Think you control me, don't know what you're in for
Keep coming at me, keep coming, you'll see
Keep pushing, keep pushing, pushing on me
IF YOU WANT CRAAAAAAAAAAZY!
I'LL GIVE YOU PSYCHOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Think you control me, don't know what you're in for
Keep coming at me, keep coming, you'll see
Keep pushing, keep pushing, pushing on me
IF YOU WANT CRAAAAAAAAAAZY!
I'LL GIVE YOU PSYCHOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Dylan flips his hair back as the lights come up with the chorus. Pausing at the top of the stage to the boos from the crowd, he offers no more than a smirk before walking down the ramp, a few ballsy fans pelting him with some trash as he makes sure to savor every second of this. He gets to where the ramp meets the ringside area and pauses, bouncing on the balls of his feet before walking to the steps. He gets up them and gets into the ring, standing in the center. Antonio Katō stands on the apron, microphone in hand as the music dies down.
Antonio Katō: And now entering the ring at this time, representing GUNS... HE STANDS AT SIX-FEET-THREE-INCHES TALL, and weighed in tonight at a slim TWO-HUNDRED-AND-SEVEN-POUNDS, he is the GREATEST UNDERAPPRECIATED NETWORK STAR, ZORAN SAINOVIC'S SUPER FRENEMY, and you all know him as the GREATEST X*CROWN CHAMPION OF THE XHF NETWORK ERA! THE GOOOOOOOOLDEN GUN! DYLAAAAAAAAAAAN! BLAAAAAAAAAACK!
Dylan raises his arm in the air, a fist in the pose of E.V.E. He turns to his corner, leaning into it while waiting for the match to start. Completely ignoring Copycat as he gets in the zone.
Hawke: You know, I was hoping we'd go through more than one global affair where Dylan would leave Antonio at home. I quite prefer Bonnie Jenkins.
Randy: I do too, Hawke... say, Dylan... he doesn't have metal arms anymore! And his eye is back! He certainly didn't look like this at Battle for Hegemony!
Hawke: I believe you're right Randy! I think Dylan went under some mystical conquest to regain his human limbs and by god, he's done it!
"Resurrection" by Pay Money to My Pain plays and the crowd boos for the Harbinger. Raiden Ishimori walks through the curtains, rolling his shoulders, his neck, and his wrists. He smirks at the top of the ramp before walking down slowly.
Bonnie Jenkins: Coming down to the ring at this time, representing SCCW! He stands at SIX FEET ONE-HALF INCHES tall and weighed in at TWO HUNDRED AND SEVEN POUNDS, he is the Harbinger of Pain, the Bone Cold Assassin, RAAAAAAAAAAIDEEEEEEEEEN IIIIIIIIIISHIIIIIIMORIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
Raiden climbs the ring steps and wipes his feet on the apron, stepping through the middle rope and walking to the nearest ring post. He climbs to the second rope, posing as the crowd jeers him.
Randy: Raiden's gotta be walking in with a hell of a chip on his shoulder. His team won, and sure he eliminated Armand von Krauss but he was the only person eliminated on his team!
Hawke: That chip on his shoulder is going to motivate him to go all the way in this match. If you had to ask me, my pick to win would be Raiden Ishimori to give SCCW a proper run with the X*Crown Championship!
All the lights in the arena die out and the fans in attendance start chanting his name.
Half The Crowd: AWE-SOME
Other Half: SUCKS!
Half The Crowd: AWE-SOME
Other Half: SUCKS!
Half The Crowd: AWE-SOME
Other Half: SUCKS!
Dramatic Pause.
REGRETS I'VE HAD MINE!
The lights in the arena explode to life as they flash green and black to the beat as Steve Awesome comes running out with intensity to the hyped-up chorus of "Full of Regrets" by Danko Jones.
Bonnie Jenkins: Making his way down to the ring, representing REIGN! He stands at SIX FEET TWO INCHES tall and weighed in at TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY-EIGHT POUNDS! From Detroit Michigan, he's the Face of the Franchise! He makes the ladies swoon and the men commune, he's the new nCw Heavyweight Champion! STEEEEEEVE AWWWWWWWWWWWESOOOOOOOOOOOME!
Lonely nights, and a whole lot of wasted time!
If you see her won't you tell her for me
It's better this way to avoid all the misery!
The chorus plays again as Steve jogs down to the ring. The guitar starts soloing and Steve hops into the ring. He provocatively slips off his jacket and flexes his arms for the ladies and gets a slow-motion effect as pyro sprays behind him.
Randy: Now Hawke. Let me get this right. Steve Awesome comes out and has a hell of a 12 Steps match against Rat Bastard to open the show, and then has to come out for the main event to challenge for the X*Crown? This is unfair I say. Why couldn't Rat wait for another day for some revenge on the Awesome One?
Hawke: I mean, Steve threw down the challenge for the match himself Randy. I'm sure if Steve didn't think he could handle it he wouldn't have called Rat out.
Randy: All I'm saying is if Steve loses, I'm calling shenanigans. SHENANIGANS!
#With Time Slipping Away#
#I Can't Say What I'll Do...#
#You Got Nothing To Saaaaaaaaaaaay#
#'Til I Tell You Who's Whoooooooooooooo#
#You Know Why?#
The arena is plunged into darkness, before white spotlights search through the crowd - finally coming to a rest by the ramp. The flash of a blade draws attention to the entrance curtains, just as a scythe cuts them down. The X*Crown champion steps out into the arena, his appearance triggering a surge of pyro. Red and orange fireworks cast the middle age European in a light that is reminiscent of hell.
#Cos I'm The Big Bad Wolf#
#(What You Say)#
#I'm The Big Bad Wolf#
#(What You Say)#
#I'm The Big Bad Wolf#
#And I'm Blowing Down Your Neighbourhood#
Bonnie Jenkins: And finally entering the ring at this time, he is the REIGNING XHF X*Crown Champion! He stands at SIX FEET, ONE INCH TALL. He weighed in tonight at TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY-TWO POUNDS! He is the Commissioner of GUNS, the Final Boss, the XHF Devil. ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN SAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINOVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!
Zoran uses the steps to enter the ring, greeted by a barrage of red and white streamers. As the Final Boss centers himself, a second volley of pyro is set off.
#I SAID#
#AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#
Randy: There he is. The XHF X*Cheat Champion.
Hawke: Never gonna let that go, huh? Zoran's held the strap since he beat Steve Awesome at End of Days and has made several defenses around the XHF. Beating the likes of Cross Recoba, Curtis Kanyon, Off The Wagon, Johnny Sniper, Raiden Ishimori. I'm sure I'm missing a few people.
Randy: So he beat Dylan in the End of Days finals. Beat Steve for the X*Crown. Beat Raiden to retain the X*Crown. He has enemies all over this match.
Hawke: Yes, but he's also beat them all. If I wasn't so confident this was finally Raiden's time, I'd say Zoran is walking out retaining no problem.
XHF X*Crown Championship
Kitchen Kaos Match
Zoran Sainovic© vs Steve Awesome(REIGN) vs Copycat(CAR) vs Raiden Ishimori(SCCW) vs Dylan Black(GUNS)
Kitchen Kaos Match
Zoran Sainovic© vs Steve Awesome(REIGN) vs Copycat(CAR) vs Raiden Ishimori(SCCW) vs Dylan Black(GUNS)
The bell rings and Copycat IMMEDIATELY ducks out of the ring, he sees all the star power here and wants none of that. Steve charges at Zoran and tees off on the man who stole the X*Crown from him. Zoran tries to fire back but three months of built-up injuries are here to collect in the ugliest of ways. Dylan pairs up with Raiden and reignites their GWA rivalry, the two masters of violence relishing in the pain they dish upon each other. On the outside, Copycat is rummaging through a fridge and searching for the culinary delicacies he loves to indulge in. Steve has backed Zoran into a corner, whaling on Zoran. With the number of injuries he's obtained it's a wonder he's still alive at this point. Steve targets the arm that started this snowball effect, driving an elbow into the stab wound El Rey inflicted so many months ago. Zoran roars and swings wildly with a haymaker that misses. Steve laughs at his blind adversary before Raiden is flung into him and the two collapse!
Hawke: Dylan with the save! Raiden slams into Steve and they both go down!
Randy: Oh Zoran knew what he was doing. He gave Dylan the GUNS spot so Dylan could help him retain the X*Crown!
Hawke: It's a pretty smart strategy if you think about it.
Randy: Yeah and I'm pissed it wasn't used by better wrestlers like Quake and me.
Dylan begins to lay boots into Steve while Zoran recovers from that quick beating. He gets to his feet and joins his Super Frenemy partner in putting the boots to Steve Awesome. Dylan holds Steve up on his knees with his arms behind his head and Zoran nails a razor-sharp elbow to the side of his head! Raiden is back on his feet and blasts Dylan with an axe handle from behind, sending him to the ground as Zoran looks at him with mild disinterest. Having already beaten him, he dismisses the Harbinger of Pain and turns to Steve. Raiden chop blocks Zoran and takes the champion down, dragging him to the outside of the ring and stuffing his head into a refrigerator before slamming the door shut! Zoran slumps over and Raiden kicks him in his bruised ribs for good measure. He sees Copycat cowering around the corner and begins to make chase. Copycat runs for his life but the Harbinger steamrolls him very quickly. He grabs Copycat and rolls him into the ring, making a quick pin! One, two, broken up by Dylan!
Randy: Had Dylan been a second slower I do believe we'd be looking at a new X*Crown Champion!
Hawke: I wonder though, was Dylan saving Copycat so he could pick him off later, or does he truly intend to help Zoran out here?
Dylan grabs Raiden and kicks him square in the nuts, before tossing him into the ring post. Dylan next picks up Copycat, who was squirming on the apron trying to escape the match, and picks him up for a suplex. What looks to be aiming for the apron, he notices a granite countertop set up behind them like a table and spins before DROPPING THEM BOTH THROUGH THE GRANITE COUNTERTOP! Copycat is holding back tears as that countertop didn't break. Dylan rolled off and seems to be almost entirely out of commission from that spot alone. Steve stirs in the ring as he sees Zoran looking for a hangover meal, Dylan and Copycat arguing over who cleans the counters in the kitchen today, and Raiden just vibes as he collects himself in the corner. Steve rushes to Raiden and grabs him, motioning to Zoran and dragging a thumb across his throat. Raiden nods and thanks Steve for admiring his handiwork and Steve tells him they've got to wreck his shit some more. Raiden's catching on and Steve helps him up to the outside.
Hawke: Uh oh. Seems like there's another alliance being formed now!
Randy: In a big match like this it's all about who you can use until you reach the end!
The duo advance on Zoran's body and Raiden grabs him around the throat! Zoran's eye bugs out as he's quickly gasping for air! Steve grabs the broken arm of Zoran and pulls it out of the sling, holding it in the fridge door. Steve takes a few steps back and dropkicks the door closed, sandwiching Zoran's arm in it! Zoran screams bloody murder and curses at Steve but Raiden grabs the door and slams it again! Zoran screams more and Steve gives that patented thumbs-up seal of approval! They march around to the opposite side where Copycat is slowly getting up and they bumrush him, slamming into him with a low dropkick/clothesline combo as Raiden goes high and Steve goes low! Copycat gets turned inside out and rolls under the ring, leaving Dylan sitting on the table and ready for carnage.
Raiden nails a high knee into Dylan, leveling him on the table. Raiden holds his arms and Steve climbs to the top rope. He talks some shit and flips Dylan off, before delivering a few crotch chops and diving for A SPLASH ON DYLAN... ON THE GRANITE COUNTERTOP! No, THROUGH THE COUNTERTOP! Dylan coughs up blood on Steve as Steve rolls off him, clutching his ribs! Raiden, sensing that opportunity has come knocking, grabs Dylan and Steve and rolls them into the ring! He climbs onto the apron before Zoran lurches like a bat out of hell and knocks Raiden into next week with a toaster to the dome! Copycat crawls out of the other side of the ring and sees Dylan and Steve, both reeling from the splash. He slides in and scrambles over to Steve for a pin! One, tw-kickout! He gets flung off of Steve and crawls to Dylan. Hooking both legs, he puts his full weight on Dylan's shoulders. One, two, th-kickout! Copycat sits with his hands on his head in shock as he sits against the ropes.
Randy: Copycat was just a split second away two times from winning the X*Crown!
Hawke: Copycat as X*Crown Champion? God help us all.
Zoran pops up behind Copycat.
Zoran Sainovic: BOO!
This scares the ever-loving heck out of Copycat, who jumps and scrambles back to the other side of the ring. Zoran laughs and turns back to Raiden, who holds the toaster and swings it like a flail. Zoran laughs and takes a china plate and frisbee's it right into Raiden's throat! Raiden doubles over, sputtering as Zoran grabs a heavy cast-iron skillet and smashes him across the back with it! Raiden's down and Zoran tries to climb back into the ring, checking on his SUPER FRENEMY partner. Dylan gives him a thumbs-up before Zoran marches to Steve, driving a thumb right into his eye! Zoran punches Steve a few times and notices a shadow over him. Dylan is standing behind Zoran and pats him on the shoulder, before helping Zoran pull Steve to his feet. The Super Frenemies Irish whip Steve into the ropes, going for a double clothesline but Steve ducks under it. He nails them with a double-shoulder tackle that knocks them both to the ground again! Steve runs over and begins teabagging Zoran for his troubles!
Copycat is slinking around the ring, trying to avoid the carnage when he bumps into Raiden on the outside. Raiden and Copycat lock eyes and something comes over Copycat. He grabs the closest object - a frying pan - and wallops Raiden across the face with it! Raiden falls back and Copycat grabs a drawer full of kitchen utensils - large wooden spoons, spatulas, and a few pairs of tongs. All were sorted neatly by some poor stagehand. Copycat dumps it all down on Raiden before dropping the drawer on him as well! He grabs a large glass pyrex and slams that on Raiden as well! Raiden is shielding himself from the carnage as Copycat roars, standing over him!
Hawke: Copycat using everything but the kitchen sink to take Raiden out of this match!
We cut to Dylan standing on the top rope with a kitchen sink in hand. He chucks it down at Copycat, smacking him in the head and he collapses!
Randy: And there's the kitchen sink!
Dylan turns back and jumps off of the top rope straight into a superkick from Steve! Zoran is pulling himself to his feet with the ropes and Steve charges him. Zoran collapses, pulling the top rope down as Steve goes flying over it onto the Raiden/Copycat pile. Zoran helps Dylan to his feet and gestures to the pile of wrestlers outside. Dylan nods and runs to the opposite side of the ring. He bounces on the ropes and runs back, diving over the top rope for a Swanton bomb onto the pile of wrestlers outside!
Hawke: Zoran setting Dylan up for the sacrifice play!
Randy: Yeah, set him up so Zoran can take the win for himself.
Zoran rolls under the ropes and grabs Copycat and throws him into the ring. He then grabs Steve and throws him into the ring. Dylan gets up and together the Super Frenemies lay a few stomps into Raiden. Unbeknownst to them, somebody is sneaking over to make a pin on Steve Awesome.
ONE...
TWO...
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...
KICKOUT!
Randy: COPYCAT ALMOST JUST STOLE THE X*CROWN FROM UNDER ZORAN'S NOSE!
Hawke: Never has my heart stopped quicker than it did when we saw Copycat make that pin.
Randy: I was almost certain he'd won!
Zoran and Dylan snap to the ring where Copycat is wide-eyed, realizing he's been caught. Dylan drops Raiden and he and Zoran slide into the ring as Copycat backs into a corner. Zoran pulls out one of his patented knives for a classic Zoran stab when suddenly the Super Frenemies are both swung around by Raiden and Steve and they're kicked in the dicks! Steve laughs as Raiden folds his arms.
Steve Awesome: You guys are too much! It's a shame neither of you are going to be winning!
Raiden Ishimori: Yeah, it's high time SCCW finally gets its chance with the X*Crown!
Steve turns to Raiden.
Steve Awesome: I never said I was going to SCCW?
Raiden Ishimori: I never said you were winning.
The power duo slowly turn to face each other as they squint, ready for the standoff. But then Dylan and Zoran pop back up.
Dylan Black: You can think you're winning all you want. But the truth is, neither of you are ready for...
Zoran Sainovic: ...zis Deadly Alliance.
Dylan and Steve and Raiden and Zoran begin battering one another, each throwing punches that would break lesser men. But these four are pushing each other with everything they've got! Steve backs Dylan up and lights his chest up with machine gun chops while Zoran pulls out his classic tricks, locking Raiden in a headlock and raking his eyes. The two young guns are down, it's just Steve and Zoran in the ring. They circle each other, and these two are destined to trade the X*Crown until the end of time. The crowd full-heartedly agreed with that, voicing their opinion on the matter.
Crowd: FIGHT FOR-EV-ER! *clap clap clapclapclap* FIGHT FOR-EV-ER! *clap clap clapclapclap*
Zoran strikes first with a stiff punch! Steve returns with a hook of his own! Zoran fires back with a punch! Steve writes return to sender and blasts Zoran! And again! And again! Steve has Zoran backed into a corner, he drives a knee into the Final Bosses' gut and grabs his head for a bulldog! Steve rolls Zoran out of the ring and drags him over to one of those massive chest freezers and shoves Zoran in there! He slams the cover shut and celebrates as if he's won the X*Crown! He remembers he actually has to pin someone and hustles back inside, but he trips himself and faceplants on the way in. Steve lies on the ground, panting, and COPYCAT COMES OFF THE TOP ROPE WITH A DIVING HEADBUTT! COPYCAT AND PASTE CONNECTS WITH STEVE AND HIS EYES ROLL BACK IN HIS HEAD!
Randy: OH MY GOD! COPYCAT IS WITHIN SECONDS OF WINNING THE X*CROWN!
Hawke: COME ON MY BOY, PIN HIM! PIN HIM!
Randy: TAKE IT HOME COPYCAT!
Copycat rolls over, arm outstretched to grab Steve... but then he stops and starts unlacing his boot. The crowd was waiting with baited breaths to watch Copycat win this but he opts to take off his boots and rub his poor achy feet. The sound of twenty thousand people stop holding their breaths reeks of disappointment but Copycat barely notices. His feet hurt and he'll be damned if he wrestles on hurt feet. He doesn't get long to massage himself as Raiden slides in with a soccer kick to the back of Copycat, followed up with a Hidden Blade elbow that damn near decapitates Copycat! Copycat slumps over and rolls out of the ring as Raiden turns, now nose-to-nose with Steve who holds his head. Steve shouts at him for a moment, before the Harbinger of Pain smashes their heads together and starts teeing off on the Face of the Franchise! Steve stumbles back, using his arms to block the incoming rain of attacks from Raiden Ishimori.
Hawke: Steve is dangerously close to being beaten out of the X*Crown match by my pick Raiden!
Randy: Yeah but Steve had a match earlier tonight! It wasn't fair to him to fight two matches in one night!
Hawke: Again, that was his own choice.
Raiden winds back for a massive punch, and Steve ducks under it and lifts him on his shoulders! He climbs to the top rope, and HE NAILS RAIDEN WITH THE STEVE-KO! OFF OF THE TOP ROPE! RAIDEN IS OUT LIKE A LIGHT AND STEVE CRAWLS OVER TO MAKE THE PIN!
ONE...
TWO...
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...
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...
DYLAN BLACK PICKS STEVE UP OUT OF THE PIN AND THROWS HIM INTO THE RING POST! STEVE CURLS AROUND THE POST AND DYLAN HUSTLES BACK TO ISHIMORI, HE HOOKS THE LEGS!
ONE...
TWO...
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...
THREE!
DING DING DING!
Hawke: Oh my God! He just stole the win from Steve!
Randy: That ref clearly waited a few extra seconds to count that pin!
Bonnie Jenkins: The winner of this match, and NEEEEEEEEEEW XHF X*CROOOOOOWN CHAMPION. DYLAAAAAAAAAAN BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!
Dylan Black rolls off of Raiden holding ribs as "Psycho Crazy" blasts over the PA. The referee tries to find that lapel pin Zoran wears but can't find it. Zoran has pushed his way out of the freezer with a bag in hand, walking into the ring. Limping really. Like a zombie, he's practically dead at this point. Dylan sees his Super Frenemy and tries to help him up but Zoran shakes his head, instead shoving the bag into Dylan's hands. Dylan opens it up and pulls out the customized X*Crown he carried back in 2020, the one that became the synonymous design of the X*Crown ever since. Zoran raises Dylan's hand before dropping and rolling out of the ring. Dylan celebrates with the title in his hands once more.
Randy: Well like him or not, Dylan Black has ended Zoran's reign of terror. And in the most peaceful of manners might I add. Had this happened a year ago, Dylan may have joined Steve in those full-body casts and caskets he enjoyed all last year.
Hawke: The Super Frenemies now sit in an exclusive club together. But folks, we're out of time. This is Hawke and Randy, and we thank you for enjoying the first Global Live Event of 2023. This has been SUPREMACY!