Post by Rage and Cage on Mar 7, 2023 7:51:46 GMT -5
The scene opens up inside the palatial suite inside Wesley Crane’s casino. The suite does look messy as a couple of 22 year-olds have been living there, and housekeeping is likely losing the inevitable battle. Nic Cage is seen sitting upside-down on the couch as he scrolls through something on his phone. Wesley Rage is sitting at the far end of the couch leaning against the arm rest engrossed in whatever information is on his phone. Neither is dressed to go out. Cage is shirtless and in a pair of jeans while Rage is in his recreational romper. Well, I guess they could go out, but it wouldn’t be a beautiful sight. After a few seconds, Rage sits up. His face starts to get red.
Rage: Nic…NIC!
Cage shakes off his daze and looks over at his brother.
Rage: Did you see this shit?
Cage is confused as he can’t see what his brother is looking at.
Cage: Uhh…maybe? What shit is it?
Rage turns his phone toward Cage. It plays the video of student beating his teacher unconscious, then hitting her unconscious body as multiple people have to pry him away. While still upside-down, Cage scoots over and scrolls under the video to read the story. He shakes his head once he’s finished.
Cage: That’s fucked up!
Rage: Yes, exactly! That poor child!
Cage: Child? Dude was 6’7” and over 250 pounds.
Rage: And 17 years-old! A legal minor! That fascist took his Nintendo Switch and started all of this! She fucked around and found out! However, those pigs arrest the child! I don’t have to tell you that this happened in Florida!
Cage: Florida…kid?
Rage: Florida woman in this case. But, Nic, allow me to get intersectional, brother.
Cage: Go for it.
Rage: Not only is there discrimination against a child. Not only is there political discrimination as the child clearly is on our side, and the teacher is obviously conservative.
Cage: The story didn’t identify her politics.
Rage: Oh, bro, we know. We don’t need to be told. Not only is all that in place, but the child is Black and the teacher is hwite. Florida went from finally examining anti-racist policies, diversity, and inclusion to going full-fledged pro-racist. I’m not surprised, but it’s infuriating!
Cage: That does suck. But what about the fact that he was twice her size?
Rage: That’s not his fault. That’s just another useless fact. We don’t need them! Besides, I’m not done.
Cage: There’s more?
Rage: Indeed. The child, the Black child, is neurodivergent! Even if you think what happened was wrong, it’s not his fault! He’s a victim in every conceivable way, but they are just going to plug him into the prison pipeline. Fuck! Can we just bomb the Florida border and let it float off into the Atlantic Ocean?
Cage: Now that’s a movie I’d be in!
Rage: It pisses me off! That’s why we need to be the Tag Team Champions. We have to create a platform for the good messages to get out there and influence people. We have the power to stop shit like this, Nic!
Cage: That’s like when I was to play Superman thirty years ago. A lost opportunity.
Rage: That’s why we need to make sure we beat Salt and Pepper. It’s good for Salt and Pepper, too. After they lose to us again, they can examine their values. I don’t want them to become Karens like the woman in the video.
Cage: For real. I was re-watching one of my movies one day, and this Karen just started honking her horn and yelling at me because I stopped in the crosswalk during one of the more action-packed scenes. Like, it’s not my fault that the scene happened there. I was captivated by myself! She can’t wait three or five minutes? Hey, Karen, you’re 30 or 40, there’s nothing worth rushing for!
Rage: Karens are the worst. Some mediocre, blond, hwite girl who thinks we all owe her validation. Considering how Salt and Pepper are complaining, maybe it’s too late to keep them from being Karens.
Cage: They actually thought Preston Reese got involved! He was just hanging out. The matches were so easy and boring that we needed someone to talk to! That’s it. We’re not cheaters! My middle name is Honest! Karens gonna Karen.
Rage: No doubt! They’re also so small that they’re committing cultural appropriation of little people! That’s not cool!
Cage: Not cool at all. The Little Karens whine and complain, then decide to get in our way as we’re on the road to reclaim our tag team titles. They’re just slowing down progress.
Rage: You know how I feel about that. Progress must never slow down! We’re on a mission! We are a missile that’s going up the ass of the WUK tag division!
Cage: Ass missile…cool.
Rage: And let me be clear that it’s consensual. WUK wants this ass missile. WUK verbally consented to this ass missile. And you know I’m not shaming. Butt play is okay.
Cage: Totally okay. I’d rather be the pitcher.
Rage: That’s who you are, brother. Pegging takes a lot of work. You got to keep up with spring cleaning and get used to butt plugs. You don’t owe anyone that work. You do that work only if you want to do that work.
Cage: …and I don’t want to do that work.
Rage: No judgment. You control your body as well as what goes into it. That’s why we’re only going to combat Salt and Pepper along the lines of a normal match. We aren’t going to violate them. We will also let it be known that Salt and Pepper consented to this match. It was never forced on them.
Cage: Yeah, they wanted this. They knew they were kicking the beehive. When that bell rings, Salt and Pepper will be screaming “NOT THE BEES!”
Rage: NOT THE ASS MISSILE!
Both laugh as the scene ends.
Rage: Nic…NIC!
Cage shakes off his daze and looks over at his brother.
Rage: Did you see this shit?
Cage is confused as he can’t see what his brother is looking at.
Cage: Uhh…maybe? What shit is it?
Rage turns his phone toward Cage. It plays the video of student beating his teacher unconscious, then hitting her unconscious body as multiple people have to pry him away. While still upside-down, Cage scoots over and scrolls under the video to read the story. He shakes his head once he’s finished.
Cage: That’s fucked up!
Rage: Yes, exactly! That poor child!
Cage: Child? Dude was 6’7” and over 250 pounds.
Rage: And 17 years-old! A legal minor! That fascist took his Nintendo Switch and started all of this! She fucked around and found out! However, those pigs arrest the child! I don’t have to tell you that this happened in Florida!
Cage: Florida…kid?
Rage: Florida woman in this case. But, Nic, allow me to get intersectional, brother.
Cage: Go for it.
Rage: Not only is there discrimination against a child. Not only is there political discrimination as the child clearly is on our side, and the teacher is obviously conservative.
Cage: The story didn’t identify her politics.
Rage: Oh, bro, we know. We don’t need to be told. Not only is all that in place, but the child is Black and the teacher is hwite. Florida went from finally examining anti-racist policies, diversity, and inclusion to going full-fledged pro-racist. I’m not surprised, but it’s infuriating!
Cage: That does suck. But what about the fact that he was twice her size?
Rage: That’s not his fault. That’s just another useless fact. We don’t need them! Besides, I’m not done.
Cage: There’s more?
Rage: Indeed. The child, the Black child, is neurodivergent! Even if you think what happened was wrong, it’s not his fault! He’s a victim in every conceivable way, but they are just going to plug him into the prison pipeline. Fuck! Can we just bomb the Florida border and let it float off into the Atlantic Ocean?
Cage: Now that’s a movie I’d be in!
Rage: It pisses me off! That’s why we need to be the Tag Team Champions. We have to create a platform for the good messages to get out there and influence people. We have the power to stop shit like this, Nic!
Cage: That’s like when I was to play Superman thirty years ago. A lost opportunity.
Rage: That’s why we need to make sure we beat Salt and Pepper. It’s good for Salt and Pepper, too. After they lose to us again, they can examine their values. I don’t want them to become Karens like the woman in the video.
Cage: For real. I was re-watching one of my movies one day, and this Karen just started honking her horn and yelling at me because I stopped in the crosswalk during one of the more action-packed scenes. Like, it’s not my fault that the scene happened there. I was captivated by myself! She can’t wait three or five minutes? Hey, Karen, you’re 30 or 40, there’s nothing worth rushing for!
Rage: Karens are the worst. Some mediocre, blond, hwite girl who thinks we all owe her validation. Considering how Salt and Pepper are complaining, maybe it’s too late to keep them from being Karens.
Cage: They actually thought Preston Reese got involved! He was just hanging out. The matches were so easy and boring that we needed someone to talk to! That’s it. We’re not cheaters! My middle name is Honest! Karens gonna Karen.
Rage: No doubt! They’re also so small that they’re committing cultural appropriation of little people! That’s not cool!
Cage: Not cool at all. The Little Karens whine and complain, then decide to get in our way as we’re on the road to reclaim our tag team titles. They’re just slowing down progress.
Rage: You know how I feel about that. Progress must never slow down! We’re on a mission! We are a missile that’s going up the ass of the WUK tag division!
Cage: Ass missile…cool.
Rage: And let me be clear that it’s consensual. WUK wants this ass missile. WUK verbally consented to this ass missile. And you know I’m not shaming. Butt play is okay.
Cage: Totally okay. I’d rather be the pitcher.
Rage: That’s who you are, brother. Pegging takes a lot of work. You got to keep up with spring cleaning and get used to butt plugs. You don’t owe anyone that work. You do that work only if you want to do that work.
Cage: …and I don’t want to do that work.
Rage: No judgment. You control your body as well as what goes into it. That’s why we’re only going to combat Salt and Pepper along the lines of a normal match. We aren’t going to violate them. We will also let it be known that Salt and Pepper consented to this match. It was never forced on them.
Cage: Yeah, they wanted this. They knew they were kicking the beehive. When that bell rings, Salt and Pepper will be screaming “NOT THE BEES!”
Rage: NOT THE ASS MISSILE!
Both laugh as the scene ends.