To Sleep, Perchance To Win (JH Title)
Mar 12, 2023 5:48:13 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Dave D-Flipz, and 4 more like this
Post by bloodiedfox on Mar 12, 2023 5:48:13 GMT -5
It is said that you should not fear the man who has slept in a thousand beds once, but the man who has slept in one bed a thousand times.
Armbishi sits in the lotus position within an open fronted pillow fort. His eyes closed in meditative thought, his face motionless, we hear his thoughts as voiceover.
But what of the man who has slept in a thousand beds a thousand time? Who can compete with his oneness with the boudoir?
We now see Armbishi in a dojo, clad in a white dressing gown with a black belt, a blindfold over his eyes. A pillow in each hand, he effortlessly parries the men in gis either side of him who try to hit him with kendo sticks. In the background, a wizened old man strokes his long beard and nods in solemn approval.
El Rey, you dismiss me as a nobody, but it is you who enter this battlefield inexperienced and unproven. The same could be said of Tinto, but he has fighting spirit. When of legal age he will doubtless sleep consensually with many people of his preferred range of the gender spectrum, but you are an incel. What hope have you in a bedroom themed match against the werewolf who got pregnant by an eldritch car?
We now see Armbishi in silhouette against the setting sun, performing the expert kata of getting a duvet inside a duvet cover.
My other opponents are similarly outclassed. Lord Dominicus platonically shares his bed with a luchador and an undead dinosaur. Copycat sleeps in a cardboard box. Ian Brundle is a nerdy scientist who if he ever ended up with someone would probably turn himself into a hideous mutant in an experiment gone wrong. Even the lovely Ollie is underequipped, her monogamous love for Marty Donovan and overprotective father leaving her without the diverse experience and adventurous spirit one needs to conquer the bedroom environment.
As when I stepped in the ring before, I seek to claim gold for the glory of CAR, but unlike then I know no fear. This is my domain, my speciality…
And it shall be my victory.