Is Cthulhu's Alarm Clock Automatically Adjusted?
Mar 12, 2023 13:41:14 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, mtc, and 1 more like this
Post by bloodiedfox on Mar 12, 2023 13:41:14 GMT -5
It is a time of joy in the garage of The Esoteric Order of Driving! After an extended period of being runners up and also-rans, The EOD have won a CAR race! This seems to have brought stability to the sometimes fractious cult, as we see Dr Dilbert East and Bob The Now Mortal working on The Car That Should Not Be without any bickering. The absence of Armbishi as he trains for his Junior Heavyweight title shot also probably doesn’t hurt.
It is nice to be entering a race with a justified sense of confidence for once.
True Bob, but we must still be wary of over-confidence. Our opponents remain formidable. Copycat’s mere presence is now a form of torture by the US military, unbound as they are the jurisdiction of the International Criminal Court, while Ollie of Reedy Creek Racing was able to defeat the pure evil of Florida Governor Ron De Santis.
Bah! Having previously spent eons as a sentient book I am immune to Copycat’s aura of pure tedium, and Ron De Santis is a classless form of evil when compared to The EOD. We hatch Byzantian schemes to summon forth eldritch powers the shatter the mind to even consider, while De Santis is a pathetic bully who picks on trans kids to make himself feel better about being a vaguely sentient bag of dog shit shaped like a human.
True, but what of Bad to the Bone’s blackmail, or these strange rumours of The Angry Mad Chemists forming a cult?
Bad to the Bone can’t blackmail us because we’re already openly working for the Elder Gods, plus Steve the Byakhee in HR runs a tight ship. As for the AMC, how could they possibly be better at being a cult than us?
With science?
Oh please! They don’t do proper science! They don’t even inject anyone with fluorescent green liquid!
Yes, that is an obvious flaw in their methods now I consider it.
And that’s not even to mention that this race is focused around slumber, and we can claim influence from the greatest sleeper of them all; Cthulhu, who lays not dead but dreaming in the ancient sunken city of R’lyeh until he wakes to take the world once more beneath his sway!
...Have we got an ETA on that, by the way?
No; we’re not sure if whether R’lyeh follows daylight saving time.
The Optional Race Enhancer Questions (explained in other post on roleplay rules):
1. What color nail polish do you want?: Oooohhhhh, purple glitter please! It goes perfectly with my fur
2. Will your crew pick Truth or Dare?: Truth, so your sanity will be blasted by the Elder Gods' blasphemous secrets!!!
3. Bra sizes A through F will be flung at vehicles. What size hits your vehicle?: F. It will help for costuming my drag queen alter-ego Dixie Dagon, as whom I shall further torment Ron De Santis!
4. How will your team respond to winning?: Perhaps Bob's confidence is not ill placed...
5. How will your team respond to not winning? Have The AMC started using fluorescent liquid science when we weren't looking?!
It is nice to be entering a race with a justified sense of confidence for once.
True Bob, but we must still be wary of over-confidence. Our opponents remain formidable. Copycat’s mere presence is now a form of torture by the US military, unbound as they are the jurisdiction of the International Criminal Court, while Ollie of Reedy Creek Racing was able to defeat the pure evil of Florida Governor Ron De Santis.
Bah! Having previously spent eons as a sentient book I am immune to Copycat’s aura of pure tedium, and Ron De Santis is a classless form of evil when compared to The EOD. We hatch Byzantian schemes to summon forth eldritch powers the shatter the mind to even consider, while De Santis is a pathetic bully who picks on trans kids to make himself feel better about being a vaguely sentient bag of dog shit shaped like a human.
True, but what of Bad to the Bone’s blackmail, or these strange rumours of The Angry Mad Chemists forming a cult?
Bad to the Bone can’t blackmail us because we’re already openly working for the Elder Gods, plus Steve the Byakhee in HR runs a tight ship. As for the AMC, how could they possibly be better at being a cult than us?
With science?
Oh please! They don’t do proper science! They don’t even inject anyone with fluorescent green liquid!
Yes, that is an obvious flaw in their methods now I consider it.
And that’s not even to mention that this race is focused around slumber, and we can claim influence from the greatest sleeper of them all; Cthulhu, who lays not dead but dreaming in the ancient sunken city of R’lyeh until he wakes to take the world once more beneath his sway!
...Have we got an ETA on that, by the way?
No; we’re not sure if whether R’lyeh follows daylight saving time.
The Optional Race Enhancer Questions (explained in other post on roleplay rules):
1. What color nail polish do you want?: Oooohhhhh, purple glitter please! It goes perfectly with my fur
2. Will your crew pick Truth or Dare?: Truth, so your sanity will be blasted by the Elder Gods' blasphemous secrets!!!
3. Bra sizes A through F will be flung at vehicles. What size hits your vehicle?: F. It will help for costuming my drag queen alter-ego Dixie Dagon, as whom I shall further torment Ron De Santis!
4. How will your team respond to winning?: Perhaps Bob's confidence is not ill placed...
5. How will your team respond to not winning? Have The AMC started using fluorescent liquid science when we weren't looking?!