NiGHT TRaP [Tinto JHC]
Mar 12, 2023 17:22:05 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Dave D-Flipz, and 4 more like this
Post by mtc on Mar 12, 2023 17:22:05 GMT -5
A tiny hand moves a mouse, clinking away at the XHF Network website. Is that a sign-up sheet?
“TINTO!”
The small child turns from his monitor to find Norman Krabbe standing in the doorway. Breathless, it’s clear that the MOTHER driver was in a great hurry to arrive at the child’s home. Is he too late?
Tinto:
Hello Mister Norman, may I have your credit card?
Norman Krabbe:
Why – (double take) no.
Tinto:
I found a rooster on eBay who reminds me of my sainted deceased Mother, and with El Diablo’s temper, we’ll win your money back in no time!
Turning back to the computer, the little boy starts to click from the XHF tab over to his cockfighting contender stats. All Norman sees is the sign-up sheet. The precocious child has a tendency to sign-up for XHF branded title shots, and it is a small miracle the boy hasn’t died as a result. With minimal requirements to challenge for the Junior Heavyweight Championship – the MOTHER crew once again worry for the safety of their mascot. A distraction is required...
Norman Krabbe:
Hey Tinto, look what I picked up-
Thoughts of owning a world champion rooster soon leave the little boy’s head, as his eyes light up for-
NIGHT TRAP
Cindy:
This place is a little weird...
This place is a little weird...
Meghan:
A little weird? Come on Cindy – everyone around here has totally flipped out! This place is a disaster zone!
A little weird? Come on Cindy – everyone around here has totally flipped out! This place is a disaster zone!
Cindy:
Come on Meghan, its not that bad.
Come on Meghan, its not that bad.
Meghan:
Yes it is, do you realize this is the first time I’ve had the car the entire weekend, and I wind up in the middle of nowhere. It’s embarrassing, Cindy. And Sarah said it was going to be an exciting weekend.
Yes it is, do you realize this is the first time I’ve had the car the entire weekend, and I wind up in the middle of nowhere. It’s embarrassing, Cindy. And Sarah said it was going to be an exciting weekend.
Cindy:
Well give it a chance- tomorrow we’ll go water skiing and the lake will be crawling with boys.
Well give it a chance- tomorrow we’ll go water skiing and the lake will be crawling with boys.
Meghan:
That’s if Lisa doesn’t scare them all away- (starts posing)
That’s if Lisa doesn’t scare them all away- (starts posing)
Cindy (chuckle):
Come on Meghan; let’s get something to eat- (exits)
Come on Meghan; let’s get something to eat- (exits)
Meghan:
Cindy! (chases after her)
Cindy! (chases after her)
Meanwhile upstairs, a door opens, and two lanky monsters in ill-fitting black outfits shuffle down the hallway.
“Hit the trap door now, Mister Norman!”
The Mother driver and mascot are playing Night Trap.
Norman Krabbe:
Which button-
Lisa:
AAAAAAAAAAAH!
AAAAAAAAAAAH!
Norman & Tinto:
AAAAAAAAAAAH!
AAAAAAAAAAAH!
Both demon seed and man-child, wanting to look brave, don’t bury their faces in the pillows of the couch for this scary scene. ...But they do have their eyes closed.
Norman Krabbe:
Poor Lisa...
Tinto:
It was the X button.
Norman Krabbe:
Maybe this game is a little too violent for-
Tinto:
I’m not afraid.
DING DONG!
After jumping, Norman looks at the door, and then turns his attention back to the couch- where Tinto is hiding under a pillow.
Norman Krabbe:
That’ll just be the pizza...
Tinto:
WHAT IF IT’S AUGERS!
Norman Krabbe:
Augers aren’t real-
Tinto:
YES THEY ARE-
Norman Krabbe:
No they’re not.
Tinto:
Mmm hmm.
Noman Krabbe:
Uh uh.
Having witnessed Tinto keep these debates up for over four hours, Norman sheepishly makes his way to the door. Slowly opening it. Bogdan Tomas enters just as Tinto warns-
Bogdan Tomas:
How are you holding up?
Tinto (yelling from his pillow):
They’ll suck your blood out with a vacuum! I’ve seen it!
Norman Krabbe:
I’m starting to think the game wasn’t the best idea.
Bogdan Tomas:
Well, we only have to distract him for another hour... then the sign-ups will close. (Entering) Evening Tinto, I hear you guys are playing a game...
Tinto (returning pillow):
Mister Norman keeps letting all the ladies die.
Norman Krabbe:
The hand eye coordination on Night Trap is insane-
Bogdan Tomas:
You drive a professional racecar for a living.
Norman Krabbe:
Catching Augers is much more difficult.
Wondering why he still runs this team, Bogdan plants himself on the couch, just in time to see an especially brutal murder.
Bogdan Tomas:
Whoa – um, maybe we could watch a movie instead?
Tinto:
I’ve wanted to see the Texas Chainsaw Mass-
Bogdan Tomas:
I was thinking more along the lines of a Disney film.
This suggestion causes Tinto’s eyes to narrow into daggers, an unpleasant reminder of Marty Donovan stealing the XHF Phoenix championship. Nuts. It does the little boy no good to spend every waking hour plotting revenge against the betrayer, or waste hours training a rooster to pluck out the Disney spokesmen’s eyes. No, to get over this trauma, Tinto needs a belt.
Tinto:
No thank you Mister Dan, I will keep saving the slumber party from Augers.
At that moment more of the shuffling, low-budget, loose fitting black costume, pseudo-vampires make their way down the stairs. Their sight causes the tyke to again use the back cushion of the couch as a defensive shield. Could he build a fort that could withstand these creatures’ attacks? His friends would clearly not fit, and be on the outside of the barricades, but Tinto is old enough to know that certain sacrifices need to be made.
Bogdan Tomas:
Tinto, this game is clearly upsetting you-
Tinto:
No it’s not!
Bogdan Tomas (not falling into that trap):
Why do this to yourself?
Tinto:
Because Joe Lieberman said this would make me very violent.
Norman Krabbe:
You’re a sweet boy, Tinto. This game might frighten you, but it’s not going to inspire you to go out, crash a slumber party, and drain the blood of everyone present.
...
Bogdan Tomas:
Why would you want to become violent?
Tinto:
So I can win the Junior Heavyweight Championship, silly.
Uh oh.
MOTHER owner and driver exchange terrified looks before Krabbe rushes over to the computer. Clicking away from the cockfighting tab, he finds the list of active wrestlers involved in CAR’s title challenge.
MOTHER owner and driver exchange terrified looks before Krabbe rushes over to the computer. Clicking away from the cockfighting tab, he finds the list of active wrestlers involved in CAR’s title challenge.
Norman Krabbe:
He already signed up-
Bogdan Tomas:
Damn it Norm, you had one job!
Tinto:
Mister Rey is too old to be a junior, so I will take his belt.
Bogdan Tomas:
Junior doesn’t mean kids edition, Tinto. This isn’t the X*Crown for children, it refers to how little the participants weigh.
Tinto:
No, it doesn't!
Norman Krabbe:
Why would they call it the junior division?
Bogdan Tomas:
Because the Network likes being dismissive of smaller athletes, even though the sport has moved in that direction over the decades since the division was christened.
Tinto:
Don’t be sad. I will bring the kids title dignity, and make it cool again. Unlike old man Rey.
Bogdan Tomas:
It’s not that we don’t want you to win titles, or think you’re not good enough, Tinto. It’s just that this is a wrestling match with adult males, man-children, pregnant men, domini-men, men who got in it because their betters aren’t officially on the CAR payroll, last minute substitute female companions, and anthropomorphic beasts-
Norman Krabbe:
We’re worried you’ll get hurt.
The little boy looks up at the concerned faces of his friends. They really mean it.
Tinto:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Mister Norman, Mister Dan, are you joking? It is a sleep over-
Norman Krabbe:
It’s actually a ma-
Tinto:
All I have to do is stay awake longer than the rest of them. They do not have bedtimes. They do not appreciate staying up. I bet Dominicus has his dinner at four in the afternoon. He is sleeping before I get home from school. Mister Ian spends so much time with the Professor; I bet he needs five naps a day. Missus Copycat is sleeping for two, whatever that means. Miss Ollie spends all day at Disneyland, it’s exhausting. And I’m pretty sure Armbish-y is make believe. He is someone else’s dream. My only competition is Mister Rey, and he’ll be too tired from his prom. I am staying up all night, and winning the junior title! I was the first CAR superstar to win the federation an XHF branded title, if not for Mister Marty I would have done it again... so here we are!
Norman Krabbe:
I’m pretty sure there’s a wrestling component.
Tinto (holding eyes open):
Wrestling with my eyelids? They never stood a chance.
Shaking their heads, the adults exchange knowing looks.
Tinto:
...also I can drug them.
There it is. The men sit down. Fairly certain that their mascot is going to get murdered, or kill someone, and Memaw will hold them responsible. Let’s be honest. We all saw MOTHER ending this way, right?
Norman Krabbe:
Is there anything-
Bogdan Tomas:
At this point, all we can do is support-
*SNORE*
The child is unconscious.
Norman Krabbe:
Of course he is.
Crossing the room, Norman puts a blanket over the youth.
Tinto:
Sti... ll... wake...
Norman Krabbe:
I know buddy.
Could this night get any worse?
Suddenly the door swings open and two Augers enter.
Norman, Bogdan, & Tinto:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Game Over