Cult of Doof 2: Handsome Doof [Race RP]
Mar 12, 2023 22:22:01 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, bloodiedfox, and 1 more like this
Post by Dave D-Flipz on Mar 12, 2023 22:22:01 GMT -5
“DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPORATED!!”
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh this is most fortuitous. Surely by now we have recruited Memaw and Uncle into the Cult of Doof. That video should have made the rounds. I bet Marty and Ollie have watched it and are now firmly in the corner of Doof!
Billy: The watch statistics and communications Ovi has intercepted seem to suggest they ignored the Valentines.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: WHAT! But that isn’t how this is supposed to work! Grrrr we need to find some other way to convince people to join. And someone stupider in the world of CAR to watch the video and spread the message of me! WOOT WOOT!
Ovi: We could always send it to that Star Trekker and call it a personalized cameo from Captain Kirk himself. And if we tweeted it at Lord Dominicus as a video of someone calling him too nice to be dark over lord he might watch it to see who to spite … though he may be TOO dense to be hypnotized into our cult. He is PRETTY dumb.
Billy: I just sent it as a message on tumblr, tinder, grindr, and any other furry adjacent sites I could find his profile on to Armbishi. It’s labeled as “Uwu, the sexiest pose to attract your desired furpile.”
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: GOOD! Stick it to those boring old fashioned scientists. They really put the bore in “We want to bore to the center of the Earth and utilize what we find to fund eldritch experiments”. Grrrr … we need to do more … people still see them as the only cult worth a damn! Who would drink our delicious light in sugar kool-aid if they’re all buying that horrible Chthulu insanity kool-aid? LOADED IN EXCESS CALORIES AND INSANITY! Grrr … it’s as if people just assume they are evil because they use green fluorescent goo!
Billy: I have been working on an elixir to help us be more persuasive and confident. Also it causes us to exude human pheromones, totally not disproven bunk science of course, and makes people more open to suggestion. Combine that with the video and we COULD be more influential.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Hmm … well the race is a pretty easy one … pillows, NON-golden bras- IF YOU SHOUT GOLDEN BOOB AGAIN I WILL HOGTIE YOU AND MAKE YOU BE THE GARDEN GNOME BILLY – and a left or right choice on the track … I suppose we can try some experimentation. But it isn’t green enough … or fluorescent …
Ovi: … Uh …
*Ovi pulls out a green glow stick, industrial strength as it is meant to be BRIGHT. He snaps it and it begins to glow.*
Ovi: Might this help? I was going to use it to make my next round of robots eerily glow to unsettle that hedgehog but … this seems like it would be much funnier to me in the long run.
*Doof raises his arms in triumph*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: PERFECT!
*Doof grabs it … and literally breaks the top off … pours the green poisonous goo into his confidence and persuasion beverage. He then loads it into a syringe and injects the entire thing into his butt before Ovi and Billy can stop him*
Ovi: I’ll call poison control.
Billy: I’ve already got my camera phone recording this, for youtub- I MEAN for scientific documentation.
*He looks to the camera in an aside*
Billy: Remember folks, the only difference between science and messing around is writing it down!
*Doof smacks his lips. Then he clicks his tongue. He looks puzzled.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Is it supposed to taste purple? Everything smells like blue. And all I can see is flashing salmon. *Hic* Hmm…
*He Doofenithinks … copyright, suing Lord Dominicus now. The suddenly his ears begin to smoke. His eyes roll back and glow green. He coughs and convulses. A random batch of Doof Floof is released from a test bottle nearby and covers his head as he makes cartoonish noises. Being a cartoon this isn’t that unusual.*
Billy: That was hilarious. When he’s dead we should play Weekend at Doofie’s until his wife figures out, that alimony is pretty handy-
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: GAAAAAH! Well that was an experience.
Billy: Damn. Doof look, you should … have … oh … my … science.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh no is it bad? Am I like part platypus now? Do I have a fedora on my head?
Ovi: Uh … Doof. You’re …
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Wait wait … I’m … handsome! WE CAN USE THIS!
*Just then a quartet of cowboys pop in.*
Bad Horse Chorus: He’s Doof! HE’S DOOF! He’s Hand-Some Doof!
He’s inhumanely sexy, the handsomest of men.
He’s got a cult that he just wants everyone in.
It needs more cultist bodies, so please get logging in
Click sign up link, your name type in, watch the vid introduction.
He’s Doof, Handsome, He’s Doof. So Hot-
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: No no no we don’t have time for a second verse, we all get it. I’m going to wake up this sleepy fed just in time for the slumber party race and we’ll be a shoo in to win. HIT IT BILLY!
*Music begins*
(cut the video after the song ends)
Billy: Posting that to the cult site and also youtube, and sending it out for promotional material to the XHF Network. Maybe this will get people to sign up.
Ovi: We just walked all the way to town hall … how are we getting home?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh that’s no problem, all these new members of the Cult of Doof will crowdsurf us back to the garage so we can get my face painted onto the side of the car!
1. What color nail polish do you want?
Billy: Black! Like the depths of my heart! Or Red to match my lab coat, I’m not that picky I can pull off any color honey.
2. Will your crew pick Truth or Dare?
Ovi: DARE! Why with the boss looking this fetching, who would even bother giving us any challenging dare?
3. Bra sizes A through F will be flung at vehicles. What size hits your vehicle?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: If they see my face on the car, we’ll be getting ALL the bras baby! … Maybe even a gold one to shut Billy up.
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Going to a restaurant to get some free food via my handsome face.
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Second verse same as the first! FREE FOOD! Let’s make that Dracolich JEALOUS!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh this is most fortuitous. Surely by now we have recruited Memaw and Uncle into the Cult of Doof. That video should have made the rounds. I bet Marty and Ollie have watched it and are now firmly in the corner of Doof!
Billy: The watch statistics and communications Ovi has intercepted seem to suggest they ignored the Valentines.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: WHAT! But that isn’t how this is supposed to work! Grrrr we need to find some other way to convince people to join. And someone stupider in the world of CAR to watch the video and spread the message of me! WOOT WOOT!
Ovi: We could always send it to that Star Trekker and call it a personalized cameo from Captain Kirk himself. And if we tweeted it at Lord Dominicus as a video of someone calling him too nice to be dark over lord he might watch it to see who to spite … though he may be TOO dense to be hypnotized into our cult. He is PRETTY dumb.
Billy: I just sent it as a message on tumblr, tinder, grindr, and any other furry adjacent sites I could find his profile on to Armbishi. It’s labeled as “Uwu, the sexiest pose to attract your desired furpile.”
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: GOOD! Stick it to those boring old fashioned scientists. They really put the bore in “We want to bore to the center of the Earth and utilize what we find to fund eldritch experiments”. Grrrr … we need to do more … people still see them as the only cult worth a damn! Who would drink our delicious light in sugar kool-aid if they’re all buying that horrible Chthulu insanity kool-aid? LOADED IN EXCESS CALORIES AND INSANITY! Grrr … it’s as if people just assume they are evil because they use green fluorescent goo!
Billy: I have been working on an elixir to help us be more persuasive and confident. Also it causes us to exude human pheromones, totally not disproven bunk science of course, and makes people more open to suggestion. Combine that with the video and we COULD be more influential.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Hmm … well the race is a pretty easy one … pillows, NON-golden bras- IF YOU SHOUT GOLDEN BOOB AGAIN I WILL HOGTIE YOU AND MAKE YOU BE THE GARDEN GNOME BILLY – and a left or right choice on the track … I suppose we can try some experimentation. But it isn’t green enough … or fluorescent …
Ovi: … Uh …
*Ovi pulls out a green glow stick, industrial strength as it is meant to be BRIGHT. He snaps it and it begins to glow.*
Ovi: Might this help? I was going to use it to make my next round of robots eerily glow to unsettle that hedgehog but … this seems like it would be much funnier to me in the long run.
*Doof raises his arms in triumph*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: PERFECT!
*Doof grabs it … and literally breaks the top off … pours the green poisonous goo into his confidence and persuasion beverage. He then loads it into a syringe and injects the entire thing into his butt before Ovi and Billy can stop him*
Ovi: I’ll call poison control.
Billy: I’ve already got my camera phone recording this, for youtub- I MEAN for scientific documentation.
*He looks to the camera in an aside*
Billy: Remember folks, the only difference between science and messing around is writing it down!
*Doof smacks his lips. Then he clicks his tongue. He looks puzzled.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Is it supposed to taste purple? Everything smells like blue. And all I can see is flashing salmon. *Hic* Hmm…
*He Doofenithinks … copyright, suing Lord Dominicus now. The suddenly his ears begin to smoke. His eyes roll back and glow green. He coughs and convulses. A random batch of Doof Floof is released from a test bottle nearby and covers his head as he makes cartoonish noises. Being a cartoon this isn’t that unusual.*
Billy: That was hilarious. When he’s dead we should play Weekend at Doofie’s until his wife figures out, that alimony is pretty handy-
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: GAAAAAH! Well that was an experience.
Billy: Damn. Doof look, you should … have … oh … my … science.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh no is it bad? Am I like part platypus now? Do I have a fedora on my head?
Ovi: Uh … Doof. You’re …
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Wait wait … I’m … handsome! WE CAN USE THIS!
*Just then a quartet of cowboys pop in.*
Bad Horse Chorus: He’s Doof! HE’S DOOF! He’s Hand-Some Doof!
He’s inhumanely sexy, the handsomest of men.
He’s got a cult that he just wants everyone in.
It needs more cultist bodies, so please get logging in
Click sign up link, your name type in, watch the vid introduction.
He’s Doof, Handsome, He’s Doof. So Hot-
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: No no no we don’t have time for a second verse, we all get it. I’m going to wake up this sleepy fed just in time for the slumber party race and we’ll be a shoo in to win. HIT IT BILLY!
*Music begins*
(cut the video after the song ends)
Billy: Posting that to the cult site and also youtube, and sending it out for promotional material to the XHF Network. Maybe this will get people to sign up.
Ovi: We just walked all the way to town hall … how are we getting home?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh that’s no problem, all these new members of the Cult of Doof will crowdsurf us back to the garage so we can get my face painted onto the side of the car!
1. What color nail polish do you want?
Billy: Black! Like the depths of my heart! Or Red to match my lab coat, I’m not that picky I can pull off any color honey.
2. Will your crew pick Truth or Dare?
Ovi: DARE! Why with the boss looking this fetching, who would even bother giving us any challenging dare?
3. Bra sizes A through F will be flung at vehicles. What size hits your vehicle?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: If they see my face on the car, we’ll be getting ALL the bras baby! … Maybe even a gold one to shut Billy up.
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Going to a restaurant to get some free food via my handsome face.
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Second verse same as the first! FREE FOOD! Let’s make that Dracolich JEALOUS!