“The Saint of Imperfection.”
Mar 15, 2023 20:58:51 GMT -5
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Mongo the Destroyer, ForeverKuroi, and 2 more like this
Post by Mav. on Mar 15, 2023 20:58:51 GMT -5
There’s a lot to be said about perfection.
A lot of people thrive to be the definition of perfect, everyone wants to become the perfect version of themselves, and they’ll do anything in their lives to do just that. They want perfection, they’ll strive for perfection, and honestly, they might as well kill for some perfection. I know that because I’ve been in that boat one too many times throughout the years, I’ve sunk to the deepest and darkest pits to find myself some form of perfection. That is no lie, that’s the fucking truth. But, of course, anyone would want to shut you down with one simple quote that always rings out when someone says that they struggle for some form of perfection. ‘Nobody’s perfect’, they always say. Nobody is ever perfect and nobody can truly gain perfection in something. I’ve had those two words spoken to me many, many times before and the one person that I’ve always heard it from and listened to with that advice was my mother.
I know that she’d tell me those same two words to this day but she’d also tell me just how much I am causing pain to others. I know that she would be right about that but I’ve given up on caring for what people might think of me because it’s always the same vision that everyone else shares. Everyone sees me the same, they don’t see me as a threat anymore and that’s pissed me off one too many times. Sometimes, I begin to wonder if I’ve lost that feeling of being a threat. When I joined TAPOUT last year, I wondered if it was all true because I was nothing more than someone people brushed aside and looked further on. So, I had to do what was necessary and make myself a threat by any means necessary and that’s when the wins continued to rack up and I was beginning to gain momentum all for it to stop at a halt. Threat level decreased. The thought of Jason Long finally doing some good for himself was stopped because he let Jack Diamond get the better of him that night, picking up two pinfalls on him when he only needed one to win the Openweight Championship.
Jason Long had shown he can never manage to pull it off on the main stage, he’s shown that he can’t hack being the best in a company, he’s a midcard contender and that’s where his ceiling truly laid – not a single major championship reign of his that’s gone over fifty days and that accounts for seven of his World Championship reigns in any promotion he’s been involved with. A mantra that has followed me throughout the years, a stigma that has stuck to me for years, and all that I can think about is doing what’s right, trying to become that person who can break the cycle. People warned me that after it’s all done, I’ll have nothing and I’ll feel emptied on the inside, a case of arrival fallacy. And I didn’t want to believe that it could happen but then, you begin to wonder what could happen after you’ve reached that goal and you see yourself back at square one once again.
You’ve caused more pain onto yourself than you’ve done onto others. And those that have been inflicted with that pain that you’ve handed out are now coming back, a little bit stronger, and they see the massive target on your back—they see the weak point you’ve opened up yourself to be attacked. That’s exactly what the old me would’ve thought about heading into this match, a second chance to prove yourself when feeling robbed out of the first one, but I’ve left all of that kind of mindset behind me. The pain onto me isn’t caused by others, no, it was caused onto me and now, I’ve woken up with the feeling of causing that same pain onto them. Should they deserve it, however, is out of the question. See, the last couple of weeks, months, whatever – I’ve been seeing things from a different perspective and I realised that this world is filled with evil bastards always wanting to corrupt and endanger, no matter how much they might preach to the high heavens that they’re doing things for the sake of goodness.
Not everyone can keep a kind heart forever.
I can attest to that myself, I used to be a man of forgiveness for the right reasons and even for some who I just felt a little bit sorry for as well, but then when I begin to lose so much? People are willing to brush me to the side as if I was nothing but a pawn in their much larger chess game. But when it becomes a problem for them, who do they come running to? The supposed heroes that can save the day for them? Yeah, the same old story that can be told at the end of the day. They come in and they do anything to show just good kind hearted they can be but at the end of the day? They’re nothing more than the same as those evil bastards you’ll run from.
Dylan, at some point in his time, is someone that I think is the prime example of this. I remember all of those years ago, he wasn’t the same as he tends to be right now. The Daemon of Mayhem? Not at all. This man was the face of a company, even if he covered that face with a mask, and made sure he helped in rebuilding legacies whenever the time came that they asked for his help. The man that you see as the X*Crown Champion? He’s never been the man that he is now, he’s never been that pure of evil, it’s nothing more than a bullshit phase of his where he finally showed his true colours. Though, there is one thing that I can attest that he has found for himself through all of this. He found his own form of perfection.
And as for me?
I’ve never been able to hold onto it.
I’ve become nothing more than a saint of imperfection — I’ve never been able to perfect myself into anything, I’ve never been able to find myself in the right position to see true immortality, my story is the constant tale of a rise and the fall. Has Dylan been able to build himself up like that? Sure, he spent years being a nobody before finally becoming somebody but then it was all becoming very numbing. Lost it’s touch and it’s glamour just as things are looking up for him. Some people might not think like that but I know that it’s the truth. I have watched his very rise into fame and I’ve seen him come close before winning the big one the very first time, I was proud. I was. The second time around, I was feeling it again, but it didn’t have the same effect as before and it made sense considering that he dropped the crown into the devil’s cesspit itself.
You’ve gained it for a third time now, what should I expect out of you now? What should anyone expect out of you now that isn’t the same as before, Dylan? Do you think that I — or anyone else — would like to spend the rest of our times living in an era where violence is your only answer? I can assure you that it is not. As someone that once would’ve thought the same thing, it isn’t. As someone who lived the hardcore life at one point in his recent years, it’s not enough to even live through it. And I only indulge in this one time against you because of the words that you chose to share with me one month ago, Dylan. I’m not the kind of man that you can easily piss off unless you’ve really, really tested my patience. You have been constantly bringing my family into this; you’ve brought my mother up one too many times and you’ve made your point, she’s dead and she can’t be here to be proud of me ever again.
I fucking killed her, Dylan, and you expect me to feel more pain from you mentioning her two years later? The entity from back then snapped and he killed her in cold blood. Just imagine for that moment, the bloodlust can come at any point and there’s nothing that can be done to stop it. If that feeling comes when face to face with you, what’ll stop me from ”repeating my mistakes?”
What’ll stop me from doing what needs to be done?
Unsanctioned is simply the highest form of “by any means necessary”.
And for the X*Crown Championship, I am willing to do whatever it takes to capture it and bring myself into the era that I have been deserving of for three whole fucking years since my very first reign. I am going to do whatever it takes to become the X*Crown Champion whilst getting my hands bloodied in the process because this one time, Dylan. I indulge in that violence for the reason of getting my own pound of flesh from you. I concur that this won’t be your night but this is more than just me getting my shot around a day of my people, this is just more than my own selfishness wanting to get one up on you, this is just more than me wanting to close the chapters that I opened three years ago. This is about opening the eyes of many, letting those people see who the real Jason Long is, and giving them The Real Hero that they’ve been dying to have for quite some time now.
I don’t want to be the next Seth Dillinger, trying to do the best for everyone. I don’t want to be the next Anthony Caffrey, wanting the recognition and the validation. And nor do I want to be the next Jack Diamond, desperately hanging onto whatever vanity that has lasted throughout the years. I just want people to finally open their eyes for once, see what has been sleeping for quite some time, and when it’s too late to accept fate — they realise that they’ve fucked up by turning their backs on me. I am the hero that everyone has desperately needed, even if they won’t accept me as their own, and I am going to do whatever it takes to remain in power for as long as possible. That means taking the crown from The Daemon.
You asked for this, Dylan. Now, you find a way to fix the problem you’ve caused onto everyone else. The facts, however, will remain the same:
You’re not the real hero; I’m the real hero.