Post by Rage and Cage on Mar 24, 2023 11:47:40 GMT -5
“I Want To Get High” by Cypress Hill is blasting inside one of the suites inside “The High Roller’s” casino. The room is filled with smoke coming from a huge bong, being held by none other than Nicholas “Honest” Cage. The door opens and in walks Wesley Crane’s personal assistant, Henderson. Henderson immediately coughs and waves his hands in front of his face.
Henderson, speaking to himself: “My God. This place smells like a hundred skunks sprayed all over the place.”
Henderson walks up and places a hand on Nic’s shoulder. Nic is startled and shows it by jumping up off the chair.
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “Fuck, Hendo dude. You scared the shit out of me.”
Henderson: “I apologize. I was sent here by Mr. Crane to share a bit of news with you.”
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “Ah shit, he doesn’t want to get together right now, does he? Because I’ve gotta be honest with you, I’m a little too stoned right now to be having a serious meeting about something.”
Henderson: “Oh no, it’s nothing like that. Mr. Crane wanted me to make sure you’re enjoying yourself in your private suite.”
Nicholas takes a hit from the bong and holds back coughing. He exhales and smiles at Henderson.
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “Dude, you can tell him I’m living the high life.”
Henderson: “Mr. Crane wants you to know that he’s sending a female companion upstairs for you. She should be here a little later.”
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “A lady of the night? For me? Let me go on record by saying, Wesley Crane is the greatest human being on the planet. Anything else?”
Henderson: “He wanted me to debrief you on your opponents for the next Legacy.”
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “Okay, go ahead, but full disclosure, you might need to repeat this information to me tomorrow, like I said, I’m pretty stoned right now.”
Henderson: “Maybe we shouldn’t worry about this today, I can tell Mr. Crane that you’re busy today and tomorrow would work better for you. I’m sure he’ll be fine with that.”
Nicholas looks nervous. Maybe he’s got a valid reason to look nervous. Maybe he’s just too stoned and he’s feeling nervous over everything. Feeling like everyone is looking at him. Either way, he has a nervous look on his face.
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “No, I’m good. Can I grab you a beer?”
Nicholas stands up and walks to the kitchen area of the suite. He opens the refrigerator and pulls out a Heineken. He reaches it out toward Henderson.
Henderson: “Isn’t that a skunky tasting beer?”
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “Some people find it to be a little skunky, yes. Why?”
Henderson takes a breath in and then waves his hand in front of his face again, trying to get rid of the smell of marijuana.
Henderson: “I’ll pass on anything skunky right now.”
Nicholas Honest” Cage: “Alright, as long as you’re sure. We all loved a good Heineken on the set of the Titanic.”
Henderson looks shocked.
Henderson: “You were in Titanic?”
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “Yeah dude.”
Henderson: “Didn’t that movie come out in 1997?”
Nicholas knows he’s in a corner on this one. Quickly he comes up with a response.
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “The original one did, yeah. I’m talking about the remake. I play the part of Jack. Rose is played by Blake Lively. She was exceptionally good in that role.”
Henderson doesn’t want to travel down this rabbit hole.
Henderson: “Okay, you and your brother are facing The Dark Stars.”
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “Sounds like a rejected emo band name.”
Henderson: “Definitely not an emo band.”
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “Okay, so tell me about them. What do I need to know?”
Nicholas starts taking another rip off his bong.
Henderson: “Well to start, they’re Alien Space Gladiators from the future.”
Nicholas, right in the middle of “hitting his bong”, starts coughing really hard. He’s coughing so hard it sounds like he’s going to puke. He catches his breath and locks eyes with Henderson.
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “You’re fucking with me, right? My brother put you up to this joke?”
Henderson looks confused.
Henderson: “What joke?”
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “I, I, I’m terrified of the thought of Aliens. I mean, to think about these things outside of our universe, just lurking around. Yeah, no thanks. I think I’ll pass. They freak me the fuck out, Hendo dude.”
Henderson: “You have no choice. The match has been booked.”
Nicholas takes a seat back in the chair. He lights the bong again and takes a monstrous hit. He blows the smoke right in the direction of Henderson.
Henderson: “I’m feeling a little funny.”
Nicholas gets a huge grin on his face.
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “Ha! You’ve got a contact high. Bro, you’re stoned.”
Henderson immediately looks fearful.
Henderson: “I’m what? I can’t, can’t be high. What will Mr. Crane think?”
Nicholas begins “stoner laughing.”
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “He’ll think you’re pretty fucking awesome, bro-tato chip.”
Wesley Rage walks in and shakes his head.
Wesley Rage: “What’s all this?”
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “Henderson’s high. Oh, and we’re facing a couple of futuristic Alien Space Gladiators.”
Rage: I was only gone for two hours!
Cage: Yeah, the most magical two hours ever! Aliens are real; Henderson’s cool…
Rage: I…
Rage paces around as this has stumped him.
Rage: So we’re either wrestling two neurodivergent people who are being exploited by the capitalist machine or space refugees? Fuck!
Rage isn’t thrilled with either option.
Rage: What am I supposed to do with this?
Cage: There’s always a third option, bro.
Cage holds up the bong.
Cage: A little bit of Honest Nic’s super strain will have you believing they are who they claim to be! You won’t be doing anything wrong!
Rage can’t argue with that. He hits the bong hard and catches up to Cage.
Rage: So the Dark Stars are actually imperialists trying to enslave and colonize Earth? Fuck ‘em!
Cage: Yeah, fuck ‘em!
Henderson, speaking to himself: “My God. This place smells like a hundred skunks sprayed all over the place.”
Henderson walks up and places a hand on Nic’s shoulder. Nic is startled and shows it by jumping up off the chair.
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “Fuck, Hendo dude. You scared the shit out of me.”
Henderson: “I apologize. I was sent here by Mr. Crane to share a bit of news with you.”
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “Ah shit, he doesn’t want to get together right now, does he? Because I’ve gotta be honest with you, I’m a little too stoned right now to be having a serious meeting about something.”
Henderson: “Oh no, it’s nothing like that. Mr. Crane wanted me to make sure you’re enjoying yourself in your private suite.”
Nicholas takes a hit from the bong and holds back coughing. He exhales and smiles at Henderson.
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “Dude, you can tell him I’m living the high life.”
Henderson: “Mr. Crane wants you to know that he’s sending a female companion upstairs for you. She should be here a little later.”
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “A lady of the night? For me? Let me go on record by saying, Wesley Crane is the greatest human being on the planet. Anything else?”
Henderson: “He wanted me to debrief you on your opponents for the next Legacy.”
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “Okay, go ahead, but full disclosure, you might need to repeat this information to me tomorrow, like I said, I’m pretty stoned right now.”
Henderson: “Maybe we shouldn’t worry about this today, I can tell Mr. Crane that you’re busy today and tomorrow would work better for you. I’m sure he’ll be fine with that.”
Nicholas looks nervous. Maybe he’s got a valid reason to look nervous. Maybe he’s just too stoned and he’s feeling nervous over everything. Feeling like everyone is looking at him. Either way, he has a nervous look on his face.
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “No, I’m good. Can I grab you a beer?”
Nicholas stands up and walks to the kitchen area of the suite. He opens the refrigerator and pulls out a Heineken. He reaches it out toward Henderson.
Henderson: “Isn’t that a skunky tasting beer?”
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “Some people find it to be a little skunky, yes. Why?”
Henderson takes a breath in and then waves his hand in front of his face again, trying to get rid of the smell of marijuana.
Henderson: “I’ll pass on anything skunky right now.”
Nicholas Honest” Cage: “Alright, as long as you’re sure. We all loved a good Heineken on the set of the Titanic.”
Henderson looks shocked.
Henderson: “You were in Titanic?”
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “Yeah dude.”
Henderson: “Didn’t that movie come out in 1997?”
Nicholas knows he’s in a corner on this one. Quickly he comes up with a response.
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “The original one did, yeah. I’m talking about the remake. I play the part of Jack. Rose is played by Blake Lively. She was exceptionally good in that role.”
Henderson doesn’t want to travel down this rabbit hole.
Henderson: “Okay, you and your brother are facing The Dark Stars.”
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “Sounds like a rejected emo band name.”
Henderson: “Definitely not an emo band.”
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “Okay, so tell me about them. What do I need to know?”
Nicholas starts taking another rip off his bong.
Henderson: “Well to start, they’re Alien Space Gladiators from the future.”
Nicholas, right in the middle of “hitting his bong”, starts coughing really hard. He’s coughing so hard it sounds like he’s going to puke. He catches his breath and locks eyes with Henderson.
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “You’re fucking with me, right? My brother put you up to this joke?”
Henderson looks confused.
Henderson: “What joke?”
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “I, I, I’m terrified of the thought of Aliens. I mean, to think about these things outside of our universe, just lurking around. Yeah, no thanks. I think I’ll pass. They freak me the fuck out, Hendo dude.”
Henderson: “You have no choice. The match has been booked.”
Nicholas takes a seat back in the chair. He lights the bong again and takes a monstrous hit. He blows the smoke right in the direction of Henderson.
Henderson: “I’m feeling a little funny.”
Nicholas gets a huge grin on his face.
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “Ha! You’ve got a contact high. Bro, you’re stoned.”
Henderson immediately looks fearful.
Henderson: “I’m what? I can’t, can’t be high. What will Mr. Crane think?”
Nicholas begins “stoner laughing.”
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “He’ll think you’re pretty fucking awesome, bro-tato chip.”
Wesley Rage walks in and shakes his head.
Wesley Rage: “What’s all this?”
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: “Henderson’s high. Oh, and we’re facing a couple of futuristic Alien Space Gladiators.”
Rage: I was only gone for two hours!
Cage: Yeah, the most magical two hours ever! Aliens are real; Henderson’s cool…
Rage: I…
Rage paces around as this has stumped him.
Rage: So we’re either wrestling two neurodivergent people who are being exploited by the capitalist machine or space refugees? Fuck!
Rage isn’t thrilled with either option.
Rage: What am I supposed to do with this?
Cage: There’s always a third option, bro.
Cage holds up the bong.
Cage: A little bit of Honest Nic’s super strain will have you believing they are who they claim to be! You won’t be doing anything wrong!
Rage can’t argue with that. He hits the bong hard and catches up to Cage.
Rage: So the Dark Stars are actually imperialists trying to enslave and colonize Earth? Fuck ‘em!
Cage: Yeah, fuck ‘em!