Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Apr 11, 2023 19:35:07 GMT -5
*A rousing fanfare, “Matador Ole” by Alek Makinson plays as Lord Dominicus creeps into the scene in full matador gear. He waves around the traditional muleta (the big red cloth on a stick) as he does so. The red of the muleta is a stark contrast to his black and gold getup on a black background.*
LD: Have you ever wondered why the matador waves this thing around when he knows it makes the bull angry? Some people think it is to create more tension because the bull has been trained to hate the color red.
*He flicks his wrist as the red muleta flutters around.*
LD: But that is wrong. The purpose of the muleta is actually to keep the matador in control. He uses the bright color to draw the bull’s attention and directs the beast where to go. If anything, the flash and the theatrics only help to make the matador’s job more safe because the bull loses its edge as it is constantly facing distraction.
*Flap flap goes the bright red cloth.*
LD: You might have noticed that my return to Wrestle: United Kingdom is already lighting up media. This, you see, is all part of a skilled matador’s plan.
*With a flourish Dominicus spins the muleta around behind his head, giving himself a red background, suddenly calling his own form forth from the otherwise black setting.*
LD: Heck, even another tag team, Rage and Cage, decided to get involved….granted it was with all the subtly of a giant Easter ham…fist- but at least they’re trying and I respect that.
*Like a Jedi knight, Lord Dominicus does a little spin with the constantly moving bull-luring tool.*
LD: As for Rob Riot’s promo? Is that really what goes for entertainment around here? I guess things are worse than I thought. I was especially amused though that Rob decided to threaten to jump ship to CWF. As if downgrading to a smaller pond is some sort of power move.
*He waves the muleta in front of his face a little, just keeping it moving and directing your focus as the brightest color in the room.*
LD: Rob, if your first response to competition or even just a little pressure is to run, then it’s no surprise that your namesake company almost immediately folded with the XHF relaunched.
*A little Spanish guitar plays as the DARK LORD OF WUK (for one show anyway) flutters the red cloth a bit.*
LD: Meanwhile you’re making sure to antagonize the referee of your match- it’s a smart move for a novice “thinking man’s” wrestler. After all it plants the seeds that you can claim you the referee was biased or unfair when you lose.
*He slowly flutters the muleta across his body.*
LD: …Just like you do with the XHF Global referees.
*We take a flutter break so that LD can DominiThink by rubbing his chin in an exaggerated manner.*
LD: You know I’m a small guy- smaller even than Mistress Discipline, since you seem to like S&M jokes. Oh wait-
*He puts a hand up.*
LD: You probably don’t even know who that is. She was the XHF Tag Team champ for nearly a year. And let me guess, “Oh of course I don’t know who that is, because WE, THE BASTARDS are the greatest team and pay no attention to others.” Snore snore, bore bore. Same old same old.
*Dominicus unfurls the cloth behind his head again, the red making sure your focused on him.*
LD: You know WUK, for all of your annoying mascots’ blunder, the COWARDS didn’t even file an official challenge? Oh you heard them say, “IF THEY CAME HERE WE’D FIGHT THEM!” And yet if they had filed an official challenge- certainly they had enough points to do so- it would have brought the Top of Class to WUK to defend their titles.
*He taps the stick part of the muleta on his head.*
LD: I mean, that’s what they wanted, right? And yet the entirety of this fed’s life has passed so far without one peep from them aside from their repetitive, “I swear my cock is three feet long but I won’t let you actually see it” energy promos.
*Dominicus shrugs (DominiShrug?) as he takes a more traditional stance with the bullfighter flag thing.*
LD: Oh well, it’s too late now. The rules for the global tag titles have changed. Now they’ll be forced to back up their words in a few months- because goodness knows nobody else here will get booked into anything interesting.
*A quick, sharp flick of his wrist follows to accent his point.*
LD: …That is if THE COWARDS haven’t already run to easier havens because of “unfair refs.”
*He makes sure to stop and do air quotes for that one.*
LD: As for this match? I may not like you guys but I really don’t care about WUK enough to be too biased against The so-called “Bastards.” But if the ODS want to get a little rough with you guys? I might have to go check on something outside the ring.
*The fluttering stops for moment.*
LD: I am winking menacingly- you just can’t tell because of the mask.
*He returns to the matador-like dance.*
LD: Ultimately who really cares. We know the garbage WUK is serving in their main event. REAL champions step up when the odds are against them. But we’ve seen what the COWARDS do: make sex jokes and threaten to run.
*Dominicus scoffs as he poses the red behind his head one last time with one hand and points to his head with the other. The camera fades out to more of “Matador Ole” by Alek Makinson.*
LD: Have you ever wondered why the matador waves this thing around when he knows it makes the bull angry? Some people think it is to create more tension because the bull has been trained to hate the color red.
*He flicks his wrist as the red muleta flutters around.*
LD: But that is wrong. The purpose of the muleta is actually to keep the matador in control. He uses the bright color to draw the bull’s attention and directs the beast where to go. If anything, the flash and the theatrics only help to make the matador’s job more safe because the bull loses its edge as it is constantly facing distraction.
*Flap flap goes the bright red cloth.*
LD: You might have noticed that my return to Wrestle: United Kingdom is already lighting up media. This, you see, is all part of a skilled matador’s plan.
*With a flourish Dominicus spins the muleta around behind his head, giving himself a red background, suddenly calling his own form forth from the otherwise black setting.*
LD: Heck, even another tag team, Rage and Cage, decided to get involved….granted it was with all the subtly of a giant Easter ham…fist- but at least they’re trying and I respect that.
*Like a Jedi knight, Lord Dominicus does a little spin with the constantly moving bull-luring tool.*
LD: As for Rob Riot’s promo? Is that really what goes for entertainment around here? I guess things are worse than I thought. I was especially amused though that Rob decided to threaten to jump ship to CWF. As if downgrading to a smaller pond is some sort of power move.
*He waves the muleta in front of his face a little, just keeping it moving and directing your focus as the brightest color in the room.*
LD: Rob, if your first response to competition or even just a little pressure is to run, then it’s no surprise that your namesake company almost immediately folded with the XHF relaunched.
*A little Spanish guitar plays as the DARK LORD OF WUK (for one show anyway) flutters the red cloth a bit.*
LD: Meanwhile you’re making sure to antagonize the referee of your match- it’s a smart move for a novice “thinking man’s” wrestler. After all it plants the seeds that you can claim you the referee was biased or unfair when you lose.
*He slowly flutters the muleta across his body.*
LD: …Just like you do with the XHF Global referees.
*We take a flutter break so that LD can DominiThink by rubbing his chin in an exaggerated manner.*
LD: You know I’m a small guy- smaller even than Mistress Discipline, since you seem to like S&M jokes. Oh wait-
*He puts a hand up.*
LD: You probably don’t even know who that is. She was the XHF Tag Team champ for nearly a year. And let me guess, “Oh of course I don’t know who that is, because WE, THE BASTARDS are the greatest team and pay no attention to others.” Snore snore, bore bore. Same old same old.
*Dominicus unfurls the cloth behind his head again, the red making sure your focused on him.*
LD: You know WUK, for all of your annoying mascots’ blunder, the COWARDS didn’t even file an official challenge? Oh you heard them say, “IF THEY CAME HERE WE’D FIGHT THEM!” And yet if they had filed an official challenge- certainly they had enough points to do so- it would have brought the Top of Class to WUK to defend their titles.
*He taps the stick part of the muleta on his head.*
LD: I mean, that’s what they wanted, right? And yet the entirety of this fed’s life has passed so far without one peep from them aside from their repetitive, “I swear my cock is three feet long but I won’t let you actually see it” energy promos.
*Dominicus shrugs (DominiShrug?) as he takes a more traditional stance with the bullfighter flag thing.*
LD: Oh well, it’s too late now. The rules for the global tag titles have changed. Now they’ll be forced to back up their words in a few months- because goodness knows nobody else here will get booked into anything interesting.
*A quick, sharp flick of his wrist follows to accent his point.*
LD: …That is if THE COWARDS haven’t already run to easier havens because of “unfair refs.”
*He makes sure to stop and do air quotes for that one.*
LD: As for this match? I may not like you guys but I really don’t care about WUK enough to be too biased against The so-called “Bastards.” But if the ODS want to get a little rough with you guys? I might have to go check on something outside the ring.
*The fluttering stops for moment.*
LD: I am winking menacingly- you just can’t tell because of the mask.
*He returns to the matador-like dance.*
LD: Ultimately who really cares. We know the garbage WUK is serving in their main event. REAL champions step up when the odds are against them. But we’ve seen what the COWARDS do: make sex jokes and threaten to run.
*Dominicus scoffs as he poses the red behind his head one last time with one hand and points to his head with the other. The camera fades out to more of “Matador Ole” by Alek Makinson.*
