Post by Visit Neom on Apr 12, 2023 20:36:55 GMT -5
The shot fades up on Ollie Oldham. She is wearing an Easter dress and sitting in a garden.
Ollie:
You’re just in time for the fun, Happy Easter!
Marty, sporting bunny ears, runs into frame.
Marty:
Did you hide some in the basement? You know I’m scared of salamanders!
Ollie just laughs.
Marty:
Come on! Aren’t you legally obligated to answer truthfully as a race car driver?
Ollie:
No to both questions.
Marty:
Now I don’t know what to believe!
Marty bolts out of frame.
Ollie:
I decided to arrange an egg hunt for the guys. It seemed all their spirits needed some lifting. Marty is nervous about his title match against Cross Recoba. My mother started dating a successful veterinarian. I’d be thrilled if not for the constant whining of a certain big game hunter, ex-husband. Then there’s George…
George Lucas, his face poking out of a full Easter Bunny onesie, walks into frame.
George:
Three more garbage films and I didn’t get one directing offer! Who the hell is James Mangold?
George stomps his big bunny feet out of frame.
Ollie:
So, yeah, I think everybody needed something fun to focus on.
Deacon Oldham, wearing Scuba gear, swaggers over with two wicker baskets.
Deacon:
I've secured all of the eggs on land. Going to search the sewers now.
Ollie:
Why do you have two baskets?
Deacon:
I used my Seal training to liberate some from a pompous clown.
Marty timidly walks over.
Marty:
Mr. Oldham, there’s been a misunderstanding. That’s my basket.
Deacon:
Then pry it from my cold, dead hands, Bozo.
Marty and Deacon get face to face, as Olivia jumps in.
Ollie:
Would you look at that? Time's up! Everybody count your eggs!
Ollie yanks away the second basket and hands it back to Marty. George wanders over.
George:
Okay, I found two card shaped ones.
Ollie:
George, those are the valentines we got at the February race.
Skeptical, George opens one and turns bright red at the Star Trekker photos.
George:
Doesn’t matter! I’m keeping them!
Deacon:
I got 18 eggs.
Marty:
18 here too.
Ollie:
That’s all of them! Nice work, everyone.
Deacon suddenly looks distraught. He puts his scuba mask and regulator back on before stepping away.
Ollie:
Dad, what’s wrong?
Marty:
Olivia, is he crying? Your dad can produce tears!
Deacon:
I was a hero at the battle of Ad-Dawrah. Now I’m just a useless old man. Can’t win a damn egg hunt. Even your whore mother would rather be with a lowly veterinarian.
Marty:
Someone that makes animals live longer? Damn, Pearl’s dating the bizarro Deacon!
Deacon begins to sob harder as Ollie hugs him. Marty looks at his upset girlfriend and sighs. He subtly drops one of his eggs into George’s basket. Lucas is too busy lusting over a different franchise to notice.
Marty:
Look! George had one egg under the valentines. I must have miscounted.
Deacon lets out a victory yell and gets in Marty’s face.
Deacon:
SEAL TEAM SIX WINS! YOU LOSE PRETTY BOY! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Ollie mouths a thank you to Marty and hands her dad a chocolate bunny.
Ollie:
Great job! Here’s your prize.
Deacon hurries to rip off his mask and eat the treat, rubbing the victory in Marty’s face. Ollie then hands identical rabbits to the others as well.
Deacon:
Wait, this is a...
Ollie:
Participation trophy? Sure is!
The shot fades out as Deacon begins to spit in disgust and everyone else enjoys their treats.