Post by Dave D-Flipz on Apr 16, 2023 22:28:04 GMT -5
The scene opens in a training gym. Death Trap is in the ring with six other trainees of varying size and skill level. He is sweating heavily and appears to have been working out for a while. Outside the ring, Mistress is in her ring gear plus bandages over her back. Chaos holds a stopwatch and a whistle around her neck as she pounds the mat and calls out instructions. The gym has steadily filled with onlookers trying to get a free show of the XHF Legend in the ring as he prepares for the biggest match of his career thus far. He beckons to one of the taller guys to bring it. The man charges and DT ducks the clothesline and swings around into a rear waist lock. He senses two more smaller men coming so instead drops to his knees and slides between the first man’s legs yanking him backwards into a modified German into the other two men. The other three attack at the same time, one built guy, one slimmer short man, and one rotund. DT catches the small man with a high roundhouse and spins into the Hard Sell to the powerhouse before the rotund man gets to him with a body avalanche. DT drops to his back and rolls through to his hands and knees then shoots in and hits a double leg takedown. He quickly locks in a figure 4 leglock and only releases the man when the original tall guy leaps for an elbow drop.
Mistress Discipline: His reaction time is getting back to where it was at the beginning of our tag team run.
Dr. Chaos: *yawning* He’s been in this ring, cycling through young, strapping men and women for … *checks watch* two hours. How does he keep going?
Sarah: … Batteries?
Sarah approaches from behind them and Chaos nearly jumps out of her shoes.
Mistress Discipline: No Sarah, Death Trap may fight like a machine but he is not, to my knowledge, actually artificial.
Dr. Chaos: INTIMATE knowledge!
Sarah: …
Dr. Chaos: Ear muffs honey.
Sarah holds up her race car as she shakes her head at her mother.
Sarah: No … batteries!
Dr. Chaos: OH OH! Ok yes I have some in reserve at all times for uh … my … let’s just go to the other room and I’ll help you, can you keep watch on your man, Mistress?
DT has the tall man tangled in an octopus hold before he slams him to the mat with a judo throw and catches the muscle head again by ducking a clothesline and going underneath the arm, behind, and locking in one of his patented Dragon Sleepers. He manages to kick away the two speedy small guys and keeps the hold locked in. The burly man fades and DT drops him before back body dropping the small guys both out of the ring at the same time, he barrels forward with a huge clothesline to the tall guy, tipping him out of the ring as well. DT moves to the skinny man and the fat man. The smaller foe attacks at DT’s legs with kicks. DT eats the hits and then a headbutt from the bigger foe.
Mistress Discipline: Hmm … yes I will keep an eye on him.
Dr. Chaos: *shouting as she leaves the room* TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT!
DT manages to roll dodge past both men then looks down.
Death Trap: My shirt IS off!
He eats a dropkick from the smaller guy.
Mistress Discipline: Yes, it is.
Mistress’s eyes are glue to his glistening abs. DT manages to catch the small guy on his shoulders and One of a Kind him over the ropes. Finally he catches the fatter man with a Cut the Strings and locks in his Death Trap dragon clutch.
Death Trap: Hon! Get me a microphone.
Mistress retrieves a microphone and makes sure it is Bluetooth connected to the camera across the room filiming his training session.
Mistress Discipline: I thought this was all so you could watch back your own session later for tape study?
DT drops the unconscious fat man next to the unconscious muscle head. He grabs the mic and his voice now comes through much clearer.
Death Trap: It was. *pant pant* But after two hours I’m feeling peckish.
He sits down just in front of the burly man and leans back onto him. He waves at the camera which zooms in on him.
Death Trap: Some of you … seem to have forgotten. You seem to be under the illusion that I am somehow not a threat in this match. Very few of you even seem to acknowledge my existence. So let me give you a reminder, a crash course.
He runs his hand through his hair and flicks away the sweat.
Death Trap: My name is Death Trap. Hey there, hello. I’ve been in this business for over two decades. Cultivating a career of successes and failures. Curating a legion of memories in the minds of my many many fans, of which the leader of the club is now my wife. I’m the guy who trained everyone’s favorite rising star. I’m one half of the longest reigning tag team champions of all time. You know, the team that everyone loved to talk down to and then run scared of. Hey do you all remember when Dylan Black grabbed his super frienemy and challenged us? Oh oh, what about that classic match with Off the Wagon and Sky Force!? Oh my favorite was when the Bastards, Donzig-gun and Oblivion Death Squad all proved their SHEER DOMINANCE by bringing the fight to us! Oh wait, no I don’t … because Dylan Black, Zoran Sainovic, Mormo, Moloch, Windsor, Riot, Fowler, Sinclair, Randy, Quake, and ESPECIALLY DONZIG are all fucking scared of the inevitable. They talked a big game but NOBODY stepped up with a GUARANTEED title shot, where the champs have no home base so home field is guaran-damn-teed to be theirs. I’m pretty sure the only one on any of those teams with any backbone is Charles, and I’m pretty sure his backbone was purchased at FAO Schwartz.
He springs to his feet and steps on the fat guy as he walks to the front of the ring to talk to the camera, draped over the top rope.
Death Trap: You all need to remember just how goddamn dangerous the Main Attraction is. You need to put some respect in your mouths. DO you see the bodies around this gym? Do you understand what I do to earn those wins, that fear in the back of your minds? I turn lights out.
He laughs and thinks for a minute.
Death Trap: Hey Dylan … the crowned king of the network. How is it that it’s been 3 years since we last shared a ring in a singles match? How is it that in all your travels, you never came for a receipt for that arm I took? I mean sure, Steve ended up with possession and a restraining order, but here I am showing you the respect of acknowledging how damn good you are … and I sit here with a submission KO elimination of you and you don’t bother showing me the time of day. You just sit back and crack wise about my hat, the hat your buddy replaced for me. Your partner who despite being the lowest level of humanity until recently, has shown me more fatherly love than EITHER of your dad showed you. They must have know what a shit human you’d end up being. But hey at least you can be a shit human instead of a shitty torso with cool electronics making up for your violent actions coming back to bite you. Just seems odd that Steve only had your arm, you’d think the way you avoided Mistress and I that he’d taken your fucking spine.
He laughs and turns back to the ring. He paces.
Death Trap: Steve Awesome. How you managed to get one over on both Dylan and Zoran in the course of the last year I don’t know. You have enough talent to carry you, and yet you have the wherewithal of a particularly dumb gnat. Hell you spent the last few months working with a literal toddler who had twice the charm, three times the intelligence, and six times the maturity you do! Tell me Steve, how is it that a former X*Crown champ can have the same IQ as a crying baby? And don’t even get me started on what a horrible father you are either. Your kid probably learned more from your shitty movies than anything you ever taught her. You DISGUST me. Even Kanyon, who is clinically insane, got a real job, did some notable things, and is a great husband and father. You … well you are about as qualified to be a dad and a champion as the dump in Todd Lerr’s pants.
Mistress Discipline: Hon, do you think you are getting a little to animated?
He raises an eyebrow.
Death Trap: No no, see if I was going to be animated I’d enter the cartoon world of Natasha! A fucking cult leader who claims to be a goddess of death. Amazing that Hype took the entire fall for that shit when we all know you’ve been the mastermind behind Legion since Day 1. Hype was just a convenient tool. A REAL fucking tool at that. Natasha let me clue you in, you and Fox and Dylan and Zoran for good measure. THIS IS A WRESTLING MATCH! This is a sport we do to entertain people and make a living. I am out here giving these people a show, putting butts in seats, setting an example and being a true legend. And between you four, whatever shit show Kira is running in JROK, and all the insanity that is anything involving the Von Krauss-Donzig midcard vortex of mediocrity and violence… how the fuck are any of us still in business? Armand spent what, a month in jail? Donzig is some kind of ninja assassin leader? Or Armand is now? Oh and we’re talking about two immortals who drain the lifeforce from others and employ evil clowns. FUCKING CLOWNS! Armand the king of Pennywise. Dylan is somehow wrestling despite being a prime suspect in thousands of deaths, Kira is booking every match to murder his employees. Natasha is drugging people to death or insanity, Fox is out here being the brand new Zoran Sainovic while Zoran went from being Zoran to being Charlie Brown. Poor Zoran gets the short end of every stick. YOU REAP WHAT YOU FUCKING SOW.
He stops and steps back to breathe. He sits back down in the ring next to the fat trainee.
Death Trap: Oh and before we move on let’s throw in Mr. Cross Recoba! Businessman extraordinaire and Caffrey in training. Slightly more grounded are we Cross? Oh we don’t want to be a murderer, let’s just be a god damn mafia boss. You all … all … fashion yourself to be dangerous killers. IT’S FUCKING WRESTLING. And here I stand. A wrestler. Let me let you in on a secret. Come closer! Closer. Let me tell it right to your faces.
He waits as the camera zooms in on his face. He leans in and smiles a saccharine grin before it shifts into a look of malice and anger.
Death Trap: None of you … are winning this rumble. Do you know why? Because in this WRESTLING match, this SHOWCASE, the MAIN ATTRACTION of the evening … the person who is the best damn WRESTLER in this match … will win. Cross Recoba, for all his bluster and influence, has never been on the level of us true champions. He’s good, he’s cunning, he can cheat with the best of them. But I can still choke you out. Natasha is a force of nature in that ring. A goddess she claims to be … but what is a Goddess to a non-believer? I have a monster for you to slay Natasha. A dragon. It comes in many forms to put you to sleep. You like sleep, right?
He laughs and leans back.
Death Trap: You all … claim lethal skills. Upholstery needles, knives, robotics, immortality, magical powers, a void in your head … ok that one I buy, Donzig’s head is fucking empty. But what you don’t have is my MASTERY of the lethal in ring skill. Of everyone on the list for this rumble … who has been in the top six THREE times? JUST ME! Who has been the ironman of TWO rumbles? ME! Who has eliminated the most people in a rumble before? ME! And I guess Foxy. Hey Cross, what happens when the old man with no stamina, headed for the retirement home tosses you from the ring? Have you all forgotten what my whole identity is? I absorb damage, I refuse to give up or stay down, I OUTLAST, I thrive in the pressure cooker. And I put people down. You may all claim to be lethal outside the ring, truly stunning to admit to your crimes on camera, lucky Mongo’s contracts are so solid or you’d all be screwed. I am lethal IN the ring. There’s a reason people show up to see ME. The guy who everyone keeps calling boring, over the hill, over rated. I am the best showman in the business. And I’m the best technical wrestler on the XHF Payroll. Prove me wrong.
He turns to the guys waking up. He holds up a finger to the camera as if to say one second.
Death Trap: Oh but DT! You can’t win a rumble with submissions! Counter-point-
He grabs the lifeless body of the muscle head who is barely coming to … and dumps him over the ropes. He then deadlifts the 300 pound dead weight of the snoring, sleeping husky hero. He belly to belly suplexes him over the top rope.
Death Trap: It’s REAL hard to avoid elimination when you’re catching z’s folks. NONE of you … are on my level. I am the star this rumble needs. I am the star it deserves. And you all may want this. But I want it more. I need it more. I’ve accomplished so much in this match format. But I’ve never won it. And I am coming to get that win. So please … come for me, try to put me down. Foxy! You wanna make Mistress a widow? Hey better people have tried to kill me. EVK has twice the killer instinct you do. Hell Zoran and Donzig have both tried to put me out of action. It JUST WON’T HAPPEN. I am going to put you out of this match and you can cry back to your birch beer bitch, “DADDY THE LEGEND BEAT ME! LET ME STAB HIM!” Go ask permission from your master, pull on the leash, see where it gets you. When he puts YOU down, I’ll be there to say I told you so.
DT leans on the ropes again.
Death Trap: This rumble is under 40 people. I’ve gone HOURS in this match before. This is not destiny or some tried and tired trope like that. This is about being the fucking best. Dylan and Zoran, former winners of this match, three time champions. Fox, the ever present iron lad. EVK, Donzig … the insane power hungry power couple. Steve Awesome the idiot savant. Cross Recoba, the businessman bastard. You all are looking at the man who will remain standing at the end of this match. You are looking at the one who will outlast you all. We’re in the end game now folks. Only one can claim victory. And in this WRESTLING match? None of you can hope to survive my lethal combination of endurance, strength, strategy, and desire. You all want to be legends. Well you’re LOOKING at one. Come April 30, I will put you all down, by any means necessary. Nobody … is going to put me over these ropes.
Suddenly from behind he is tipped over the top rope and flails his arms, tossing the microphone. He manages to catch the top rope and hang in the air, millimeters from the floor. Mistress Discipline has a hand over her mouth stifling a laugh in the ring behind him.
Mistress Discipline: Just keeping your spatial awareness on point, honey!
DT skins the cat back into the ring and sits down as his wife laughs at him.
Dr. Chaos: *re-entering the room* Did he hit the floor?
Death Trap: No … thankfully. Still, she’s the only one allowed to toss me onto my back.
Mistress Discipline: And do not forget it.
Fade out
Mistress Discipline: His reaction time is getting back to where it was at the beginning of our tag team run.
Dr. Chaos: *yawning* He’s been in this ring, cycling through young, strapping men and women for … *checks watch* two hours. How does he keep going?
Sarah: … Batteries?
Sarah approaches from behind them and Chaos nearly jumps out of her shoes.
Mistress Discipline: No Sarah, Death Trap may fight like a machine but he is not, to my knowledge, actually artificial.
Dr. Chaos: INTIMATE knowledge!
Sarah: …
Dr. Chaos: Ear muffs honey.
Sarah holds up her race car as she shakes her head at her mother.
Sarah: No … batteries!
Dr. Chaos: OH OH! Ok yes I have some in reserve at all times for uh … my … let’s just go to the other room and I’ll help you, can you keep watch on your man, Mistress?
DT has the tall man tangled in an octopus hold before he slams him to the mat with a judo throw and catches the muscle head again by ducking a clothesline and going underneath the arm, behind, and locking in one of his patented Dragon Sleepers. He manages to kick away the two speedy small guys and keeps the hold locked in. The burly man fades and DT drops him before back body dropping the small guys both out of the ring at the same time, he barrels forward with a huge clothesline to the tall guy, tipping him out of the ring as well. DT moves to the skinny man and the fat man. The smaller foe attacks at DT’s legs with kicks. DT eats the hits and then a headbutt from the bigger foe.
Mistress Discipline: Hmm … yes I will keep an eye on him.
Dr. Chaos: *shouting as she leaves the room* TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT!
DT manages to roll dodge past both men then looks down.
Death Trap: My shirt IS off!
He eats a dropkick from the smaller guy.
Mistress Discipline: Yes, it is.
Mistress’s eyes are glue to his glistening abs. DT manages to catch the small guy on his shoulders and One of a Kind him over the ropes. Finally he catches the fatter man with a Cut the Strings and locks in his Death Trap dragon clutch.
Death Trap: Hon! Get me a microphone.
Mistress retrieves a microphone and makes sure it is Bluetooth connected to the camera across the room filiming his training session.
Mistress Discipline: I thought this was all so you could watch back your own session later for tape study?
DT drops the unconscious fat man next to the unconscious muscle head. He grabs the mic and his voice now comes through much clearer.
Death Trap: It was. *pant pant* But after two hours I’m feeling peckish.
He sits down just in front of the burly man and leans back onto him. He waves at the camera which zooms in on him.
Death Trap: Some of you … seem to have forgotten. You seem to be under the illusion that I am somehow not a threat in this match. Very few of you even seem to acknowledge my existence. So let me give you a reminder, a crash course.
He runs his hand through his hair and flicks away the sweat.
Death Trap: My name is Death Trap. Hey there, hello. I’ve been in this business for over two decades. Cultivating a career of successes and failures. Curating a legion of memories in the minds of my many many fans, of which the leader of the club is now my wife. I’m the guy who trained everyone’s favorite rising star. I’m one half of the longest reigning tag team champions of all time. You know, the team that everyone loved to talk down to and then run scared of. Hey do you all remember when Dylan Black grabbed his super frienemy and challenged us? Oh oh, what about that classic match with Off the Wagon and Sky Force!? Oh my favorite was when the Bastards, Donzig-gun and Oblivion Death Squad all proved their SHEER DOMINANCE by bringing the fight to us! Oh wait, no I don’t … because Dylan Black, Zoran Sainovic, Mormo, Moloch, Windsor, Riot, Fowler, Sinclair, Randy, Quake, and ESPECIALLY DONZIG are all fucking scared of the inevitable. They talked a big game but NOBODY stepped up with a GUARANTEED title shot, where the champs have no home base so home field is guaran-damn-teed to be theirs. I’m pretty sure the only one on any of those teams with any backbone is Charles, and I’m pretty sure his backbone was purchased at FAO Schwartz.
He springs to his feet and steps on the fat guy as he walks to the front of the ring to talk to the camera, draped over the top rope.
Death Trap: You all need to remember just how goddamn dangerous the Main Attraction is. You need to put some respect in your mouths. DO you see the bodies around this gym? Do you understand what I do to earn those wins, that fear in the back of your minds? I turn lights out.
He laughs and thinks for a minute.
Death Trap: Hey Dylan … the crowned king of the network. How is it that it’s been 3 years since we last shared a ring in a singles match? How is it that in all your travels, you never came for a receipt for that arm I took? I mean sure, Steve ended up with possession and a restraining order, but here I am showing you the respect of acknowledging how damn good you are … and I sit here with a submission KO elimination of you and you don’t bother showing me the time of day. You just sit back and crack wise about my hat, the hat your buddy replaced for me. Your partner who despite being the lowest level of humanity until recently, has shown me more fatherly love than EITHER of your dad showed you. They must have know what a shit human you’d end up being. But hey at least you can be a shit human instead of a shitty torso with cool electronics making up for your violent actions coming back to bite you. Just seems odd that Steve only had your arm, you’d think the way you avoided Mistress and I that he’d taken your fucking spine.
He laughs and turns back to the ring. He paces.
Death Trap: Steve Awesome. How you managed to get one over on both Dylan and Zoran in the course of the last year I don’t know. You have enough talent to carry you, and yet you have the wherewithal of a particularly dumb gnat. Hell you spent the last few months working with a literal toddler who had twice the charm, three times the intelligence, and six times the maturity you do! Tell me Steve, how is it that a former X*Crown champ can have the same IQ as a crying baby? And don’t even get me started on what a horrible father you are either. Your kid probably learned more from your shitty movies than anything you ever taught her. You DISGUST me. Even Kanyon, who is clinically insane, got a real job, did some notable things, and is a great husband and father. You … well you are about as qualified to be a dad and a champion as the dump in Todd Lerr’s pants.
Mistress Discipline: Hon, do you think you are getting a little to animated?
He raises an eyebrow.
Death Trap: No no, see if I was going to be animated I’d enter the cartoon world of Natasha! A fucking cult leader who claims to be a goddess of death. Amazing that Hype took the entire fall for that shit when we all know you’ve been the mastermind behind Legion since Day 1. Hype was just a convenient tool. A REAL fucking tool at that. Natasha let me clue you in, you and Fox and Dylan and Zoran for good measure. THIS IS A WRESTLING MATCH! This is a sport we do to entertain people and make a living. I am out here giving these people a show, putting butts in seats, setting an example and being a true legend. And between you four, whatever shit show Kira is running in JROK, and all the insanity that is anything involving the Von Krauss-Donzig midcard vortex of mediocrity and violence… how the fuck are any of us still in business? Armand spent what, a month in jail? Donzig is some kind of ninja assassin leader? Or Armand is now? Oh and we’re talking about two immortals who drain the lifeforce from others and employ evil clowns. FUCKING CLOWNS! Armand the king of Pennywise. Dylan is somehow wrestling despite being a prime suspect in thousands of deaths, Kira is booking every match to murder his employees. Natasha is drugging people to death or insanity, Fox is out here being the brand new Zoran Sainovic while Zoran went from being Zoran to being Charlie Brown. Poor Zoran gets the short end of every stick. YOU REAP WHAT YOU FUCKING SOW.
He stops and steps back to breathe. He sits back down in the ring next to the fat trainee.
Death Trap: Oh and before we move on let’s throw in Mr. Cross Recoba! Businessman extraordinaire and Caffrey in training. Slightly more grounded are we Cross? Oh we don’t want to be a murderer, let’s just be a god damn mafia boss. You all … all … fashion yourself to be dangerous killers. IT’S FUCKING WRESTLING. And here I stand. A wrestler. Let me let you in on a secret. Come closer! Closer. Let me tell it right to your faces.
He waits as the camera zooms in on his face. He leans in and smiles a saccharine grin before it shifts into a look of malice and anger.
Death Trap: None of you … are winning this rumble. Do you know why? Because in this WRESTLING match, this SHOWCASE, the MAIN ATTRACTION of the evening … the person who is the best damn WRESTLER in this match … will win. Cross Recoba, for all his bluster and influence, has never been on the level of us true champions. He’s good, he’s cunning, he can cheat with the best of them. But I can still choke you out. Natasha is a force of nature in that ring. A goddess she claims to be … but what is a Goddess to a non-believer? I have a monster for you to slay Natasha. A dragon. It comes in many forms to put you to sleep. You like sleep, right?
He laughs and leans back.
Death Trap: You all … claim lethal skills. Upholstery needles, knives, robotics, immortality, magical powers, a void in your head … ok that one I buy, Donzig’s head is fucking empty. But what you don’t have is my MASTERY of the lethal in ring skill. Of everyone on the list for this rumble … who has been in the top six THREE times? JUST ME! Who has been the ironman of TWO rumbles? ME! Who has eliminated the most people in a rumble before? ME! And I guess Foxy. Hey Cross, what happens when the old man with no stamina, headed for the retirement home tosses you from the ring? Have you all forgotten what my whole identity is? I absorb damage, I refuse to give up or stay down, I OUTLAST, I thrive in the pressure cooker. And I put people down. You may all claim to be lethal outside the ring, truly stunning to admit to your crimes on camera, lucky Mongo’s contracts are so solid or you’d all be screwed. I am lethal IN the ring. There’s a reason people show up to see ME. The guy who everyone keeps calling boring, over the hill, over rated. I am the best showman in the business. And I’m the best technical wrestler on the XHF Payroll. Prove me wrong.
He turns to the guys waking up. He holds up a finger to the camera as if to say one second.
Death Trap: Oh but DT! You can’t win a rumble with submissions! Counter-point-
He grabs the lifeless body of the muscle head who is barely coming to … and dumps him over the ropes. He then deadlifts the 300 pound dead weight of the snoring, sleeping husky hero. He belly to belly suplexes him over the top rope.
Death Trap: It’s REAL hard to avoid elimination when you’re catching z’s folks. NONE of you … are on my level. I am the star this rumble needs. I am the star it deserves. And you all may want this. But I want it more. I need it more. I’ve accomplished so much in this match format. But I’ve never won it. And I am coming to get that win. So please … come for me, try to put me down. Foxy! You wanna make Mistress a widow? Hey better people have tried to kill me. EVK has twice the killer instinct you do. Hell Zoran and Donzig have both tried to put me out of action. It JUST WON’T HAPPEN. I am going to put you out of this match and you can cry back to your birch beer bitch, “DADDY THE LEGEND BEAT ME! LET ME STAB HIM!” Go ask permission from your master, pull on the leash, see where it gets you. When he puts YOU down, I’ll be there to say I told you so.
DT leans on the ropes again.
Death Trap: This rumble is under 40 people. I’ve gone HOURS in this match before. This is not destiny or some tried and tired trope like that. This is about being the fucking best. Dylan and Zoran, former winners of this match, three time champions. Fox, the ever present iron lad. EVK, Donzig … the insane power hungry power couple. Steve Awesome the idiot savant. Cross Recoba, the businessman bastard. You all are looking at the man who will remain standing at the end of this match. You are looking at the one who will outlast you all. We’re in the end game now folks. Only one can claim victory. And in this WRESTLING match? None of you can hope to survive my lethal combination of endurance, strength, strategy, and desire. You all want to be legends. Well you’re LOOKING at one. Come April 30, I will put you all down, by any means necessary. Nobody … is going to put me over these ropes.
Suddenly from behind he is tipped over the top rope and flails his arms, tossing the microphone. He manages to catch the top rope and hang in the air, millimeters from the floor. Mistress Discipline has a hand over her mouth stifling a laugh in the ring behind him.
Mistress Discipline: Just keeping your spatial awareness on point, honey!
DT skins the cat back into the ring and sits down as his wife laughs at him.
Dr. Chaos: *re-entering the room* Did he hit the floor?
Death Trap: No … thankfully. Still, she’s the only one allowed to toss me onto my back.
Mistress Discipline: And do not forget it.
Fade out
