Fucking Adorable
Apr 17, 2023 23:34:52 GMT -5
via mobile
Mongo the Destroyer, Dave D-Flipz, and 6 more like this
Post by Venom 🕷 on Apr 17, 2023 23:34:52 GMT -5
Oh
My
God!
Really. Seriously. Network Executives, what have I done to piss you off?
No. Don’t laugh. I’m serious. I want to know. What have I done? Is it because I was too successful too fast? Is it because I’m too young to be this good? Do you need me to “take my bumps?” Please, tell me what I did. I know I can be perceived as arrogant, but this is wrestling, who isn’t?
It’s got to be something.
I had to do something to piss you all off. Why else would I be forced into so many multi man matches as the Junior Heavyweight Champion?
When you did it while I was X*Crown Champ you could just write me off as a paranoid kid. Every X*Crown Champion that holds it this time of year has to go through the Rumble, but now I’m Junior Heavyweight Champion and you’re doing everything you can to screw me again.
First match outside of GUNS they throw me in another rumble style match. Your sneaky little plan didn’t work. I survived your attempt to dethrone me as King of the Juniors. Now you force me into another multi man. What’s worse? It’s against the remnants of the place I spit on and left in my rear view just before I went on to win the X*Crown Championship.
Next. Level. Wrestling.
Why?
This place has been abandoned for seven months. They ran out of cash and left their roster wondering where their next paycheck will come from. They put on a show, and then didn’t even put out the tape. Yet for some reason they get a chance to rise from the fires like a phoenix and take the Junior Heavyweight Championship.
Why?
I didn’t hide my feelings about that place. I knew it was going downhill fast. I publicly bashed them at every chance I got. I gave Riley a shot at the Crown just to screw him out if it. Now that I’m Junior Heavyweight Champion and they’ve been long gone for seven months they get their “last stand?”
Just tell me. What did I do to piss you guys off?
Are you sure about zis?
We open up in a department store outside of the dressing rooms. The young El Rey sits in a chair outside playing on his phone while the voice we hear of one Zoran Sainovic echos from somewhere inside.
El Rey: You’ve been training me for weeks. Now it’s my turn, and of course I’m sure. I know exactly what I’m doing. Besides, your kid will get a kick out of it.
Zoran: I trust you, Rey - it would be your funeral.
El Rey looks away from his phone and his face turns serious for a moment. It’s clear he’s thinking hard about his next words.
El Rey: Let’s be honest with each other Z, can I call you Z?
Zoran: No.
El Rey: Fine. I’ll be honest. Of course I’m not sure this will work, but I do know that carrying more weight will help you build strength. I do know that doing this will endear you to your fans, which in your condition you’re going to need that motivation. I do know we’re stepping on Marty’s toes and he’ll hate it. And I know, for sure, that your son is going to love it.
Zoran: Fine. You’ve convinced me. But zee armor is a bit much.
And this is when Zoran steps out of the dressing room in full Mandalorian costume without the helmet. El Rey catches first glimpse and has to stifle a laugh.
El Rey: You look amazing.
Zoran: I feel amazing. Zee armor brings support to my damaged arm. My only question now is, who will believe you as zee child.
El Rey: Everyone. I’m fucking adorable.
Zoran: But you look nothing like zee baby Yoda.
El Rey: Grogu.
Zoran: You don’t need to get into character with zee baby talk already.
El Rey: No. His name is Grogu, not baby Yoda.
Zoran: Who cares.
El Rey: They all do. Believe me. If you make that mistake in public they will crucify you.
Zoran: Fine. I will call you zee Grogu.
El Rey: Great. Now pick me up and carry me out of here like I’m your child.
Zoran just stares at his young mentee in a way only Zoran can look at someone. El Rey gulps and backpedals.
El Rey: It was a joke. Totally not me trying to get payback for you making me carry you on my back. Let’s get out of here.
With that, the two walk away from the dressing rooms leaving the view of our cameras.
Clearly it doesn’t matter what I did because I’m stuck now. Stuck dealing with the ghost of Next Level Wrestling.
But am I really?
There’s no Riley Richards.
There’s no Jam Rockers.
There’s no Goons.
No Moyjin.
Even Bloodied Fox has better shit to do.
None of the people who made Next Level Wrestling a contender of Network Federation of the year could be arsed to show up for this.
Sure, Thespian had a good run and Al Jabroni was there from the beginning like me, but the only one in this match from Next Level Wrestling with true substantial success in this match is me.
I’m the day one member that won on the global level. I’m the day one that beat the monster Dylan Black. I’m the one who stabbed the “God of Xtreme” and put him into retirement. I’m the one who saw the sinking ship and left to make my name instead of drowning with the ship. “NLW’s Last Stand?” No, every day that I exist is NLW’s last stand, even if I wouldn’t piss on its ashes.
Even though I am the one with the most success, the deck is stacked against me. It’s one against six with not only my Junior Heavyweight Championship on the line, but the legacy of a company on the line as well.
Without even being truly defeated I could somehow hand my title off to the video game kid with the stupid name. Without giving up I could watch on as a rooster walks away with my belt. I could get stuck outside and watch as my belt ends up in the hands of someone who will use it in a prop as an X rated movie. That could happen with two different people by the way.
But I won’t tell you if I lose I was screwed.
No. I don’t need to tell you that.
That’s as plain as day.
What I do need to tell you is that it doesn’t matter if I win or lose. It doesn’t matter because no matter the outcome. No matter who walks out of there with that belt. Nothing changes.
When the day is over and the calendar flips I will still be the most successful alumni to ever Grace a Next Level ring, and there’s nothing anyone in this match can do to change that.
My
God!
Really. Seriously. Network Executives, what have I done to piss you off?
No. Don’t laugh. I’m serious. I want to know. What have I done? Is it because I was too successful too fast? Is it because I’m too young to be this good? Do you need me to “take my bumps?” Please, tell me what I did. I know I can be perceived as arrogant, but this is wrestling, who isn’t?
It’s got to be something.
I had to do something to piss you all off. Why else would I be forced into so many multi man matches as the Junior Heavyweight Champion?
When you did it while I was X*Crown Champ you could just write me off as a paranoid kid. Every X*Crown Champion that holds it this time of year has to go through the Rumble, but now I’m Junior Heavyweight Champion and you’re doing everything you can to screw me again.
First match outside of GUNS they throw me in another rumble style match. Your sneaky little plan didn’t work. I survived your attempt to dethrone me as King of the Juniors. Now you force me into another multi man. What’s worse? It’s against the remnants of the place I spit on and left in my rear view just before I went on to win the X*Crown Championship.
Next. Level. Wrestling.
Why?
This place has been abandoned for seven months. They ran out of cash and left their roster wondering where their next paycheck will come from. They put on a show, and then didn’t even put out the tape. Yet for some reason they get a chance to rise from the fires like a phoenix and take the Junior Heavyweight Championship.
Why?
I didn’t hide my feelings about that place. I knew it was going downhill fast. I publicly bashed them at every chance I got. I gave Riley a shot at the Crown just to screw him out if it. Now that I’m Junior Heavyweight Champion and they’ve been long gone for seven months they get their “last stand?”
Just tell me. What did I do to piss you guys off?
Are you sure about zis?
We open up in a department store outside of the dressing rooms. The young El Rey sits in a chair outside playing on his phone while the voice we hear of one Zoran Sainovic echos from somewhere inside.
El Rey: You’ve been training me for weeks. Now it’s my turn, and of course I’m sure. I know exactly what I’m doing. Besides, your kid will get a kick out of it.
Zoran: I trust you, Rey - it would be your funeral.
El Rey looks away from his phone and his face turns serious for a moment. It’s clear he’s thinking hard about his next words.
El Rey: Let’s be honest with each other Z, can I call you Z?
Zoran: No.
El Rey: Fine. I’ll be honest. Of course I’m not sure this will work, but I do know that carrying more weight will help you build strength. I do know that doing this will endear you to your fans, which in your condition you’re going to need that motivation. I do know we’re stepping on Marty’s toes and he’ll hate it. And I know, for sure, that your son is going to love it.
Zoran: Fine. You’ve convinced me. But zee armor is a bit much.
And this is when Zoran steps out of the dressing room in full Mandalorian costume without the helmet. El Rey catches first glimpse and has to stifle a laugh.
El Rey: You look amazing.
Zoran: I feel amazing. Zee armor brings support to my damaged arm. My only question now is, who will believe you as zee child.
El Rey: Everyone. I’m fucking adorable.
Zoran: But you look nothing like zee baby Yoda.
El Rey: Grogu.
Zoran: You don’t need to get into character with zee baby talk already.
El Rey: No. His name is Grogu, not baby Yoda.
Zoran: Who cares.
El Rey: They all do. Believe me. If you make that mistake in public they will crucify you.
Zoran: Fine. I will call you zee Grogu.
El Rey: Great. Now pick me up and carry me out of here like I’m your child.
Zoran just stares at his young mentee in a way only Zoran can look at someone. El Rey gulps and backpedals.
El Rey: It was a joke. Totally not me trying to get payback for you making me carry you on my back. Let’s get out of here.
With that, the two walk away from the dressing rooms leaving the view of our cameras.
Clearly it doesn’t matter what I did because I’m stuck now. Stuck dealing with the ghost of Next Level Wrestling.
But am I really?
There’s no Riley Richards.
There’s no Jam Rockers.
There’s no Goons.
No Moyjin.
Even Bloodied Fox has better shit to do.
None of the people who made Next Level Wrestling a contender of Network Federation of the year could be arsed to show up for this.
Sure, Thespian had a good run and Al Jabroni was there from the beginning like me, but the only one in this match from Next Level Wrestling with true substantial success in this match is me.
I’m the day one member that won on the global level. I’m the day one that beat the monster Dylan Black. I’m the one who stabbed the “God of Xtreme” and put him into retirement. I’m the one who saw the sinking ship and left to make my name instead of drowning with the ship. “NLW’s Last Stand?” No, every day that I exist is NLW’s last stand, even if I wouldn’t piss on its ashes.
Even though I am the one with the most success, the deck is stacked against me. It’s one against six with not only my Junior Heavyweight Championship on the line, but the legacy of a company on the line as well.
Without even being truly defeated I could somehow hand my title off to the video game kid with the stupid name. Without giving up I could watch on as a rooster walks away with my belt. I could get stuck outside and watch as my belt ends up in the hands of someone who will use it in a prop as an X rated movie. That could happen with two different people by the way.
But I won’t tell you if I lose I was screwed.
No. I don’t need to tell you that.
That’s as plain as day.
What I do need to tell you is that it doesn’t matter if I win or lose. It doesn’t matter because no matter the outcome. No matter who walks out of there with that belt. Nothing changes.
When the day is over and the calendar flips I will still be the most successful alumni to ever Grace a Next Level ring, and there’s nothing anyone in this match can do to change that.
