mosler
Special GUNS Acess
Mosler's not here man.
Posts: 2,339
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Post by mosler on Apr 24, 2023 10:59:02 GMT -5
(Fangs flash. Blood flows. Crimson droplets drip down porcelain skin. The curves of the form are almost as appealing as the violence is perverse. A wave of darkness offers a seductive calm, save for the beasts lurking within. Glowing red eyes and razor sharp teeth emerge from the menacing blackness, rushing forwards.)
(In short, the same shit that Radu Matei always sees when he closes his eyes.)
(Normally opening eyelids is enough to cast away the horrors of the soul, light reacquainting the SWAT Dixie legend with reality – but the events of the rumble robbed him of that strategy. Since then Matei has been trapped inside his own mind, bed ridden, fed by tubes – prey to the visions. Mere months felt like an eternity. That is a long time to be left with your own thoughts. All that time completely dedicated to contemplating vengeance, and to letting the hatred fester. Would he emerge from the cocoon as a majestic butterfly, or something all together worse? That remains to be seen. Yet a metamorphosis has definitely occurred.)“When previously this angry, I almost lost my way, before redirecting that fury into positive endeavours.”(Grey irises dilate under the intensity of a sunny day, before focusing on an impressive tourist attraction.)
(The statue of Decebalus.)(Despite its ancient trappings, the tallest rock relief in Europe was only constructed in the nineties, with the final king of Dacia’s face being completed in 2004. Underneath the shadow of the nationalistic monument, Radu Matei kneels on the shores of the Danube. Reconnecting with his heritage, Radu enjoys the sights from his native Romania’s side of the Iron Gates. A few feet from the Danube, the last time the former world champion was this close to a waterway, Zoran Sainovic and Alex Turner were dumping his unconscious body into the Brooklyn River. As relaxing as the splashing waves are, the memory is still very real for Radu. His proximity to it is uncomfortable for him, but also therapeutic. A tourist hotbed, this scenic location would not normally be the best place to gather one’s thoughts. Yet Deathless is alone.)
Radu Matei <tired smile>: SWAT. It has been so long that perhaps introductions are in order?
(Finding a clear spot amongst the rocky ground, Matei produces a purple bundle. A heavy clothe wrapped around some heavy objects. Unfurrowing the purple material onto the ground, it acts as a mat for he broken pieces of stone found inside. It’s hard to make out what the rubble could have formed, but the similar shading of the stones indicate that they were part of a larger whole. Reaching into his coat pocket, Matei produces a jar filled with a clear liquid. Bug thoraxes stuck to the surface suggest some form of adhesive substance extracted from insect secretions.)
Radu Matei: At one point, I was this companies’ foundation.
(Reaching down, Matei lifts up one of the larger stones, which appears to be the base. After displaying its various angles to illustrate his point, Matei grips it firmer with his left hand while producing a small brush with his right. Dipping the brush into the jar, Matei begins to lather the side of the rock with the unknown substance. Attempting to piece it together while speaking on his current situation.)
Radu Matei: Amusingly ironic, as my earliest appearances were as SWAT’s would be destroyer.
(Picking up another piece, Matei forces it against the base – pressing them into place.)
Radu Matei: I was a member of SWAT’s Dixie region. A much smaller pond than the lofty heights of the main brand, but the weather was warm, beer cold, fans loyal, and the talent worked hard - content in the fact that they were living their dream. We were a family, and I could have happily spent the remainder of my in-ring career down in Dixie. Sadly in an effort to bolster the “main” federation prior to its entry into the XHF family, general manager Lynn Brewster, shuttered all the other regions. Forced out of my home, I decided to dedicate my life to making her regret that decision. Over the course of accomplishing this task, I captured SWAT’s world heavyweight title – and with it, found a new purpose.
(Though fragile, the pieces appear to be sticking. Slowly letting up on the pressure, Radu again applies the substance, repeating the process for a third piece.)
Radu Matei: See amongst Brewster’s many oversights, was creating a hostile and unprofessional atmosphere where people who should have been enhancing talent in dark matches, were not only making it to television airtime, but being put in positions where they could win titles. <sigh> Hell’s Bouncer is no longer around to defend himself. I am not going to tarnish his memory with further barbs, as anything that needs to be said, has been. Essentially, Brewster put him in a position where he could become our world champion. Apparently Tum was busy that day.
Stein. Tanner. Viper.
Not a lot of men have claimed to be SWAT’s world champion, so the person that the title had found itself on, was rather insulting. Be it in the region of Dixie or the grand international stage, this was SWAT. It meant something.
So from ending Brewster, my new mission became rehabilitating the image of our big gold strap.
What makes a good belt? A good champion.
And what is that? Quality of their work? Consistency of their victories? How they carry the brand? Every night, I was tossing bags of cockroaches on guys – I’m not sure I could do much for that aspect of the companies’ image. Nah, I needed a different approach.
So I decided to elevate my opponents.
(While using one hand to apply pressure to the recently assembled pieces, Radu uses his free claw to point at the remaining pieces as he name drops his opponents.)Radu Matei: Tong Fairtex is a great tag specialist, but people never seem to notice that he is consistently one of the top ranked singles competitors in the various incarnations of this company. Yeah, it’s funny to watch steam shoot out of Tong’s ears when you talk smack about The Shootfighter – because EVERYONE knows those are the buttons to push, and he can never hide it. His martial arts skills? Those are no joke. How to get that across? I let him spend forty minutes karate chopping my face into hamburger. I still walked out the champion, but no one who watches that bloodbath will doubt that Tong is a SCARY MONSTER – or the pride I feel for surviving that encounter.
Alex Turner is a pretty horrible person. I know everyone writes him off as only getting television airtime because teenage boys enjoy his wife’s antics, but if he ever pulled the trigger he’d be a force to be reckoned with. Oh, he can drop a building on me, but when it comes to Goth, he pulls his punches. Point is between the comedy and the raunchy interplay, it’s easy to look past Turner. I almost broke his wife’s neck for him to take the world title seriously, but he did... showed us all a side of him, that many didn’t think he was capable of. Alex Turner was always a title contender, but I clued him into it. So Timeless might make everything a joke, but don’t you dare sleep on him. ...Because if unconscious in his presence, Alex will toss you into a large body of water.
I gave an honest assessment of Syberus character. Encouraged him to grow in some meaningful way, instead of the usually snarky prizefighter bullshit he’s been pulling since the mid-00s. You know, the kind of guy that acts like the biggest dick in a fed, but because he stands next to Johnny Valentine people give him a pass as some sort of fan favourite. The point is, after our encounter, not only did he take my suggestion of personal growth to heart – he’s been 10 percent better ever since.
Making your challengers BETTER, even if they lose. Not just another notch on your defences tally. Valentine could have taken some notes from my reign.
(Jade. Frostbite. Canelli. Brewster. Maddox. Of the record setting ten epic defenses, only one is beneath mentioning. Only a few more broken pieces.)Radu Matei: Make the strap stronger, and the federation prosper though my pain and suffering. Polish the belt with my blood. Absorb all the barbs and arrows, acting as a protective wall for the federation I cared about. Becoming a living effigy for abuse, so that SWAT could prosper. That is what it meant to be the Sacrificial Idol. Arcs. The first was to run out Brewster. The second was to restore the belt. The third was to end Pesci’s reign of irresponsible terror. Sadly, I went to the well one too many times. In trying to stomp out Sainovic’s poison, my luck, and my body finally ran out.
(Deathless waves a hand at the remaining shattered pieces of stone.)Radu Matei: There are a number of reasons for this trip down memory lane, which all bring me to tonight.(Having reached the Anzac Cup that looms so heavily over his comeback, rough hands start working furiously to glue the smaller pieces to the statue.)
Radu Matei: Battle Bowl. A record setting World Title run. The Helloween Cup. Headlining both New Year’s Nightmare and the Adrian Tanner Memorial, which meant a great deal. Along the way, I picked up a number of trophies including wrestler of the year. It is safe to say that my short time with SWAT has been an embarrassment of riches. Even if my 2020 has been paying for my 2019 successes.
The only accomplishment that remains...
The Anzac Cup.
My 2019 Anzac Cup occurred right after I joined the company. I called in some favours and brought in a future SWAT Hall of Famer, “The Industrial Man” Attila Balan to be my surprise partner. I-Man IS a big deal, and with him on my side, we were guaranteed victory. Only it didn’t happen.
Despite having a VASTLY inferior tag partner, Timeless Alex Turner managed to hand me my ONLY pinfall defeat in 2019, on his way to claiming the Cup. Like I said, if you ignore Timeless, he will literally attempt murder.
So the Anzac represents a pretty big mark against my record. It’s the one accomplishment that has managed to allude me. Making matters worse, I was in much better physical shape this time last year. So the Cup represents my Everest, which is getting higher by the minute. I have to climb it, at the same time, if I can’t pull this off – who knows if my health will let me participate in next year’s edition? There is a lot riding on this.
(The camera pans around Deathless, just as he looks up at Decebalus.)
Radu Matei: Dixon wasn’t the only thriving region to be shuttered by Lynn Brewster, right before SWAT joined the XHF, its Amazon division was without equal. The women worked hard, the writers, the officials, the programs they were putting out were without equal. You would think that merging their division into the main would get more eyes on their superior product, but it was the beginning of the end.
The 2019 tournament featured almost as many female competitors as male. Establishing that intergender matches were the new status quo, and the Amazons could more than hold their own against any man in SWAT.
...I don’t believe any of them made it out of the first round.
Much like my defeat, last years tournament represented a turn in fortunes.
While mine began to thrive, the Amazon division faltered.
Were their other contributing factors?
Lynn Brewster running off talent like Shannon Damage in favour of Hell’s Bouncer, while promoting her own family? <cold tone> Joanne Canelli using her KGB connections to create a stranglehold on the championship, which rendered any upwards movement impossible for new blood? The Pan-Am title being one strap too many as the Amazons ventured out after the world, making the few members of the vanishing division without championships bitter? Joe Pesci being the single most sexist monster on earth? Suzi Spitz being a lame duck champion that told little girls everywhere they would be far better off learning how to cook? Trent Jones making comments about women so vulgar that I managed to forget how much I dislike Suzi Spitz? Even little things... like management pushing Trent Jones to the moon, despite the fact that his brand of crass humour would turn off any perspective Amazon?
I’m sure those were all factors.
Last year, half the tournament was female – this year, we only have three.
I have always tried to do what I felt was best for SWAT, and from what I’ve seen, that means setting the Amazon ablaze. It was a unique and special part of our company, which made it stand out. Much like the actual Amazon it currently faces extinction. We have an opportunity here, to turn back the clock.(Finished, Deathless raises the stone sculpture up in one hand.)
(The statue is not quite a man, demon, or bug, yet in an abstract way, you feel that it is an effigy that resembles the man that holds it. Insect paste isn’t perfectly flush, and parts of the statue are slightly out of alignment, while others look ready to slide off. Even though it has seen better days, The Sacrificial Idol is once again complete.)Radu Matei: I know it seems to be in better condition, but there is no telling how long I will hold out.
My second world title defence was against Lucky Linda. A woman whose passion for the sport knows no rival. Early in our encounter, I gave her what should have been a career ending injury. Yet despite an inability to move her legs, Linda fought back, almost taking it to a broadway, and convincing every single fan in attendance that she would be the first female world champion. She should have been. It was without a doubt the feel good SWAT match of the year, along with picking up the hardware for being the ACTUAL SWAT match of the year.
That night Linda won my respect.
Of all the people I sacrificed my health for, she was the only one that recognized what the defences were costing me.
I believe firmly, that for us to restart the Amazon division, and show SWAT as a bastion of equality – that history needs to be rewritten, casting aside the embarrassment of 2019, and having an Amazon WIN this tournament.
Lucky Linda is JUST the Amazon to do it.
And I will have my body absorb everything you can throw at us, to see her reach that goal.(As Matei ends the interview with promises of a masochistic symphony, the camera pulls in for a close-up on the strange statue.)“The Sacrificial Idol returns.”
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mosler
Special GUNS Acess
Mosler's not here man.
Posts: 2,339
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Post by mosler on Apr 24, 2023 10:59:55 GMT -5
(A rainbow of colours running the thousand points of the spectrum between red and brown, bubble up and flake off in a grotesque tapestry that makes you fear that Trent Jones has once again sent you a dick pick. What a fine champion. As the image pulls out, you breathe a sigh of relief with the reveal of a mass of oxides on what was once an iron pipe.)
(Rust.)
(The grey irises of Deathless enter frame, focusing intensely on the eyesore. Radu Matei might have the best record of any competitor in the Anzac Cup, but given how long he has been out of the squared circle, its hard to tell what kind of competitor will actually show up for the tournament. Ring rust is a very real concern. Coming back from a serious injury, this might not be the same man that consistently wooed the SWAT faithful with his dependable masochistic streak. No matter how willing the spirit is, the flesh is rotting. Speaking of rot...)
#CLANG# (A powerful hand clubs down on the pipe. Metallic dust fills the air, as grotesque bubbles crumble away. What portions of the pipe that can still vibrate, do, disturbing a swarm of cockroaches. Filthy, alien – the sight of the bugs run shivers down more than one viewer’s spine. Slower reflexes are still enough to scoop up a fistful of the squirming insects.)“You spend three months in a hospital bed, and your pets end up eating each other. …So like us.”(The videographer pulls out even further just as Radu Matei shoves the creepy crawlies into a sack. The ace of SWAT has always been uncomfortably circus geek like in his affinity for pests that are largely considered gross by the general public. More than one member of the marketing team has an enlarged ulcer from trying to explain why the human punching bag has been Syndicate’s most popular performer. Transitioning to a long shot sees Unbreakable M in a dank boiler room, trying to replenish his supply of victory gimmicks.)Radu Matei <trying to keep bugs from scurrying out of the bag>: I know a lot of the fans... hell... all of us, are having a hard time distancing these days. The good news is... <looks up with a tired smile> SWAT has always excelled at isolation.(Using his scared palm to lightly push a few escapees back in, Radu Matei quickly ties off the top of the bag. A fused neck slows his mobility, but the former world champion still scans his miserable surroundings for other treasure troves.)Radu Matei: I know the grime, dirt, bugs, don’t really scream gold standard... but its important not to lose track of ourselves, even as our situations change. So despite specializing in throwing maggots into the audience for cheap heat, there became a point where I had to evolve into more than that. I tried to build myself up as this - gold standard.
Under Brewster’s administration, we lost a lot of talent, and during the early seasons our depth really didn’t stack up to other XHF affiliates. How do you get eyes on your product? How do you attract new talent? Exclusivity. We might not have the Dillingers or Vipers... but I was an absolute beast without compare. Double edged sword. See I would have loved to have mixed it up in the EOD, and tried my luck against some of the other XHF greats... but our sport takes the old adage of “Any Given Sunday” and applies it to every day of the week. I know nineteen times out of twenty, I can destroy Vincent Draven... but what if that twentieth time is the number that comes up?
The stars of SWAT... Linda... Tong... Frostbite... hell, even Syberus... their defeats all helped to build me up. If I steamrolled over the homestead, only for an outsider to get lucky? I don’t mind losing – those are the breaks… but I put myself in a position where a loss would reflect badly on all the broken bodies that came before. That wouldn’t be fair to them. All I could do was watch the XHF Network, enjoying all the other programs, and dream of kicking guys teeth down their throats. For the sake of the company, my hands were tied.
<shakes head> So I know all about social distancing.(Kicking over a garage can, a few dozen centipedes scurry out. Producing a bottle from his trench coat pocket, The Beast of Dixie springs into action.)Radu Matei: SWAT is my home. This is where I belong. But it started to become apparent that my presence was preventing the company from growing. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a big fish in a small pond. SWAT is an OCEAN, and we’re all SEA MONSTERS here. …But towards the end of last year, the same faces, were going through the same motions. Oh, Johnny Valentine was starting to move his entourage over, but that was no different than the SWAT retirees like CSK who show up for one show and have lost all stamina. It was important for me to take a step back...
...Before I could take that step back, focus on healing, and trust the company to guide itself, Zoran Sainovic and Timeless Alex Turner made the decision for me.
Out for almost five months.
That is a lot of time to be inactive.
In truth, I am worried about ring rust.
About still stacking up... will I have what it takes to mix it up with the hungry new mouths, or is my era over? I have real concerns about letting Linda and the fans down...
...at the same time...(Collecting the last of the centipedes, Radu starts to slowly spin the cap back on the jar.) Radu Matei: I’m like a kid in a candy store.(The Sacrificial Idol lets the jar slide into his pocket, before slowly turning to the camera with a warm smile.)Radu Matei: The talent that has arrived during my dormancy? I know Zoran takes all the credit, but its clearly not him, and I have to give a hand to Paul, Devlin and Anthony in HR for bringing in all these great names. I literally have goose bumps at some of the encounters that SWAT will be putting on.(Deathless draws back one of his sleeves to reveal some pretty poisonous looking spiders, but if you can find a piece of soft tissue on his arm that doesn’t have severe burn marks, apparently there are goose bumps present.)Radu Matei: I know some of them are only here for the Anzac, and my body won’t hold out long enough for another year long reign of terror, <raising withered claws> but damn <broad smile> if I don’t want to MANGLE each and every one of you.(Shaking with excitement, Radu Matei is genuinely pleased at his potential hunts.)Radu Matei: I have been catching up on programming between physical therapy appointments. It took me awhile to get around to the SWAT Rumble, which has some obviously bad memories associated with it. The main takeaway was a healthy blood lust for Sainovic and Turner, but after that rage subsided, another disappointment.
Anthony Caffrey was robbed.
Fortunately, the injustice was partially rectified with his recent XHF Rumble victory.
Congratulations Anthony, and welcome to SWAT.
I for one could not be more happy to have you as part of the federation. I wish the timing of this exchange had occurred prior to your championship victory, as its not the X*Crown that excites me, but the energy you bring to our company. I believe Zoran has already essayed your role in our seclusion, but I have no doubt that in the coming months you bring far more attention to SWAT than may have been cost by our initial interactions.
The way the brackets are shaping up, I suspect you will meet up with myself and Linda in the quarterfinals. That is a shame. I feel our encounter would make for a far more rewarding finale. I pity the teams that have to follow what I am sure will be an epic encounter. While not the singles match that our respective fans have been clamouring for, I never know when my injuries will finally catch up to me, so I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth. Even if we represent half of a match, genuinely looking forwards to the exchanges.
Not that I am selling Sky Force short.
This is probably my only chance to test my mettle against Lord Dominicus, Bloody Zen Romance, and Tarrasque. Beyond the outside threats I must defend the Cup from, we also have SWAT contracted workers that started to cut names for themselves in my absence - Eddie D, K-Pax and Lunchbox, El Combatiente, Hayden Grayson, the returning James Fierce and Rally Jackson. Looking on the many new faces, confirms what a good space Syndicate Wrestling is in. It also lets me know that my mission – to support my partner’s Anzac chances in the hopes of revitalizing our Amazon division, is the right thing to do...(Looking up at the ceiling, Deathless smiles as he recognizes the red pattern on the thorax of a black spider. With a little more care than his other acquisitions, Radu Matei quickly procures the black widow. A gift for Zoran Sainovic, should their paths cross during the course of the night.)Radu Matei: I have hurt both Sainovic and Turner quite frequently. Willing myself back into fighting condition for the pleasure of hurting them further? It has been a tough road back. Oh, I’ll still plan on causing them a level of pain they never knew existed. Its still difficult coming to terms with the restrictions created by my injuries.
Yet… seeing all these other wonderful performers? That is a different story.
I suddenly feel inspired.
You have given me a purpose. (Wait for it...)Radu Matei: Dropping each and every one of you on your necks.(There it is.)Radu Matei: I know the fans will get a kick out of it...(They really will.)Radu Matei: So start working your neck muscles gang, because the Anzac Cup is going to be stinger city!(SWAT’s Foundation puts on a jovial front, but for all his lackadaisical bravado you get the feeling that something weighs heavily on his mind. The toil that his time away from the ring has left questions about its effects on his in-ring skillset. It all comes down to…)
(Rust.)
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mosler
Special GUNS Acess
Mosler's not here man.
Posts: 2,339
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Post by mosler on Apr 24, 2023 11:01:04 GMT -5
(Cold sweat.)
(Grey eyes spring open at the appearance of the odious siren.)
(A long sigh follows the revelation of a dressing room. The horrible woman got into his head, and from the sounds of things - she is already ahead in the tournament. Breaking her neck would be an honour to rival the Anzac Cup itself, but to get to that match? SWAT Classic's strongest and weakest opponents lie in wait. Doesn't look like he's going to have a chance to rest between rounds. There is work to be done. Has to refocus. Cannot let Linda down.)
(Leaning forwards, Unbreakable M cues up a match on the SWAT network. Shifting his weight causes Radu Matei to cringe, as muscles push against bruised ribs, the man can barely breathe. He should probably be researching Anthony Caffrey - the main obstacle between Matei and rectifying his questionable Anzac record. That boat sailed a long time ago. Matei saw Caffrey decimate Frostbite. Even if brain trauma has been en vogue since then, images of Caffrey's gloating are burned into Matei's mind, like so many shitty vampire slash fictions. He has spent a year preparing for their inevitable conflict. The only aspect of their upcoming encounter that comes as a surprise to Deathless is the fact that it is occurring in a tag team environment. It is this setting, relying on another human being for victory, that drives Matei's current research. Not how to be a better partner, but the motivation to push on no matter what the cost.)
(PLAY.)"Jeremy Tucker: In the ring, the referee is checking Matei for weapons, and the champ is still pretty bruised up from that epic defense against Alex Turner. You have to wonder if he’s working at one hundred percent, and if that could be an advantage for La Fey.
Andrew Fulton: Well, she’s giving away close to a hundred pounds, so if I were her I’d take any advantage I could get."(The screen shows the main event of Battleground #14 - The Beatdown in Blackpool. The shared trauma that united the SWAT Classic.)"Jeremy Tucker: And we’re off – Radu Matei condescendingly calling for a test of strength! Linda obliges AND the crowd eating it up!
Andrew Fulton: Well you have to admire her spiri-------
Jeremy Tucker: Matei shoving her off hard, nearly sends her back into the ropes. Definite size advantage for the champion, and he's calling for another test of strength. Thoughtful comments going into this betrayed by a dickish attitude, he's nothing if not a contradiction. BUT LINDA AGAIN ANSWERS HIS CALL - she is all heart!
Andrew Fulton: Well its too bad she's not an enlarged heart, because Matei just shoved her off hard - and if not for the ropes, she'd be out on the floor."(This was during his dark days. He had won the strap, but Lynn Brewster still walked the halls of SWAT proudly... and as long as that woman was strutting around, no one was safe. That night in Blackpool, Matei was going to make an example of the Amazon that had dared to challenge his domination. ...And when Linda actually showed determination? When she stood up to his bullying tactics? He was going to make her pay.)"Jeremy Tucker: Matei is furious, but La Fey using her speed to charge in for some spinning headscissors!!! Matei again up quickly, and La Fey darting in for a second spinning headscissors-------------no!
Andrew Fulton: Her luck had to change. The champ putting the breaks on, stopping the spin in mid air, and grabbing La Fey by the hips brings her down for-----
Jeremy Tucker: JESUS CHRIST!!!
Andrew Fulton: Do we want to call that a Ganso Bomb?
Jeremy Tucker: I don't want to call it at all. Radu Matei just SPIKED Linda La Fey's head against the canvas, and all her weight, his weight... just right down on her neck That... she's spasming... that's the kind of move leads people to become quadriplegics.
Andrew Fulton: A real stinger."(As bad as the nightmares are, watching this segment of the match causes Radu to close his eyes in shame. An incredibly dangerous spot. Should have ended Linda's career. Feeling her legs after that? It was a stroke of luck. Not only did she manage to fight back from the stinger, but she almost took Matei to a time limit draw. In one match she managed to show that Amazons had just as much right to the world title as any men, tearing down the gender barrier. It was the match of the year for a reason. They built a mutual respect based on the brutality they both endured. Watching Linda's neck shift at a 90-degree angle still makes Matei question how the two could still be on speaking terms.)"Andrew Fulton: How the hell did Linda La Fey KICKOUT?!
Jeremy Tucker: Well she has the ability to move her legs, which was in question, and is FANTASTIC NEWS!
Andrew Fulton: Sure its a great she isn't paralyzed, but she should just take the three count. He likes posturing as a reasonable person, but when the relief of not ending another person's mobility has sunk in, the champ is going to be pretty pissed at these near falls... and despite appearances, he is NOT a nice person."(No. No he isn't.)
(Even if it helped Linda's profile, The Beatdown in Blackpool took years off her in-ring career. When the rage melted away, that was a bitter pill to swallow. One of Radu's crosses to bare. Tired eyes absorb the footage. The Sacrificial Idol doesn't know where to begin to make this right, but feels that the Anzac Cup will be a nice start. There are a lot of demons to exorcise tonight.)
(As the match gets uglier, Matei freezes the frame on a particularly nasty shot of him cranking back Linda's neck. Another deep sigh. Placing an ice pack against his ribs, Radu Matei focuses his blood shot gaze on the image.)Radu Matei: Caffrey. The rumble gave you a lot of momentum. I dig it. The amount of good will and positive energy pumping through you? You should be right pick up the Anzac Cup to add to your impressive hoard of accolades. You deserve it. I feel like the selfish monster I used to be, taking you out at this early venture. For the sake of my partner, I don't have a choice.
Partners.
See I believe strongly that the best thing for SWAT is an adrenaline shot to the Amazon division.
I also believe that a guy who tanks multiple matches shouldn't be taking up valuable space from wrestlers who will do right by the company. Callahan? I understand he is having problems at home, but his last battleground appearance he was really dragging his heels. Your first round? The effort he put in was disrespectful to Sky Force. Now, I don't just take that personally because I am currently trying to promote female wrestling - no, this is the Anzac. Callahan seems to think that just because he's paired up with the X*Crown champion, he doesn't have to put in any effort.
As the champion of SWAT... which you are Caffrey. Does it make sense to use your superior abilities to assist lazy workers to prominent card placements? It is worth contemplating.
Right now, nothing can be done about the situation, beyond me dropping Callahan on his neck.
Its not your fault you have a subpar partner. You are relatively new to SWAT, introductions should have been made. I wish I had been here sooner to suggest a Rajiv Khan or O-Z member that would have respected you enough, not to let you down. Sadly, I wasn't and you find yourself with Callahan. See, despite having a marathon match just two short days ago, I know that you had what it took to win the Anzac Cup. God knows you are more deserving than the Stylistics.
This is not where our epic encounter was suppose to start...
I know that down the line we'll have a singles contest where we can both give it our all.
Tonight? The seeds for your Anzac exit have already been planted by your partner... and when I mow him down, that is no reflection on you.
Your amazing Rumble accomplishment...
Your singles domination...
Your ungodly momentum?
Still golden. The only thing tonight proved was that you picked the wrong partner. That could happen to anyone.
Happened to me last year.
Hell, look at the trash that Valentine continues to carry.
Callahan. Tonight is your wake up call.
Caffrey. Until we meet again, it will have been a pleasure.
(Nodding at the camera, Radu switches out his ice pack for another one, before turning back to the horrific image on the screen. Pure agony. And unlike the rest of the field, The Sacrificial Idol actually LIKES her.)"Jeremy Tucker: The champion picking up that sack of filth, ready to add insult to Lucky Linda's injury.
Matei starts to untie the sack, but looking at Linda, suddenly ties it back up. Letting it fall next to him, he reaches down and grabs one of her hands, dragging her back up to her feet.
Jeremy Tucker: Wait, Matei forgoing his usual victory celebration, and actually helping Linda up - raises her arm in the air.
Andrew Fulton: Lucky Linda has earned his respect tonight, hell she came damn close to taking that strap."(Partners.)
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mosler
Special GUNS Acess
Mosler's not here man.
Posts: 2,339
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Post by mosler on Apr 24, 2023 11:02:03 GMT -5
(Scar tissue.)
(A mass of deep gouges gives way to indentations that are starting to fill in with the bruising of soft tissue. Red, brown, purple and blackish lines run across sickly looking flesh, cordoning off the different degrees of circulation like a Google satellite map of hell. Where does the fresh blood end and the scabbing begin? Blood clotting up to ward off infection – but even in the middle of a global pandemic, viruses are the least of this host’s concerns. It is an impressive amount of damage, when you consider that we are only two matches into the evening – the first opponents were non-entities, and the second were legitimate wrestlers. Our canvas has reached a point where the flesh will tear open on its own.)
(A gentle breeze.)
(As fresh droplets run down atrophied muscles, the images shakes. The clacking sound of a lens tapping against a metal body, as the handheld camera shifts around the Frankensteinesque tissue mass. Focus shifts, the more gruesome images are thankfully only seen briefly, as camera flash pans past a cavalcade of body horror. Fingers that have been broken a few too many times, work feverishly to patch up the newest damage. A tournament of this scale has the talented team of emergency medical technicians working over time. Given how in demand world events have put their skills, its crazy that they are giving SWAT their time as it is. For a man to let their body take this kind of damage, he clearly hates himself, but most likely has a fondness for the EMTs. Not wanting to add to their burden, the Sacrificial Idol currently ices down and tapes up his most recent maladies.)
(Erratic camera work is owed to the fact that Radu Matei is multitasking – bandaging up wounds while providing his thoughts on the next round. Zoomed into extreme close-ups, the following monologue occurs over graphic pictures of the damage.)
“That was a war.”
(The sincere face of Radu Matei briefly enters the frame.)
Radu Matei: Callahan. I didn’t appreciate your hands off approach to the first round, but the heart you just showed? It was impressive. I’m looking forwards to seeing your growth with the company long after I retire.
(...And from the looks of the bruising on Radu’s ribs that might be a lot sooner than later.)
Radu Matei: Caffrey. That could have easily gone either way. Frankly if Sainovic hadn’t front loaded this tournament with KGB bullshit, and the brackets were actually randomized, I have no doubt that our encounter would have been the finals.
It should have been the finals.
Nothing but respect for you. It is my genuine hope that you wipe the floor later with Blackpool. As Linda and myself continue our march onwards in the Anzac Cup trying to show that SWAT is a safe and welcoming place for female athletes... there is no room for that trash. Blackpool and Trent Jones, who search for promo material in penthouse forums and misogynistic 50s joke books. We’re trying to regrow the Amazon, but no self-respecting female wrestler would be caught dead in a federation with that vulgar scum. I know you’re going to successfully defend tonight, Caffrey, that isn’t in question. The point is, later tonight, when I should be backstage duct taping gashes – I’m going to be glued the set instead, cheering on your victory.
My time at SWAT is over. The night is already halfway done, and look at the state of me.
I’ve gone to the well too many times. Yet I return. The only thing that keeps me coming back is a worry that all the hard work I put in to keep this place afloat will melt away as the Hardkore contingent shove their geriatric yes men into cushy spots, replacing SWAT’s legacy with their own rotting husk... then fuck off or flat line - as is their way.
So it’s a great relief to see a new guiding light for the company, Caffrey.
I am looking forwards to this era of yours. Thank you.
(Nodding politely, Matei turns his attention back to raw nerves. Under his grey eyes the picture once again starts to rapidly worm past burning red skin. Inflammation is setting in, shoving out throbbing veins that look more like the sexually deviant plants of Japanese cartoons.)
Each one of these scars tells a story.
My crooked smile is a collaboration of hundreds of tempers. One facet. So this body? A daunting number of contributors have hammered me into the shell of a man I’ve become. Beaten me into a fine paste, before pouring it into a broken mould. Despite the intimidating tally of these violent tracks - each has a story. I remember ever sling and every arrow.
How much of the barrage came from the Kross Global Bandits?
(Muscles tense at the utterance of the KGB, aggravating thin skin.)
The Hired Guns. Jade and Kim... they took a lump of flesh, and taught me a valuable lesson about overlooking bystanders. I treated them like collateral damage, and Jade made sure I’d never walk straight again.
The Fairtax Brothers. During my championship reign, I tangled with Tong on more than one occasion. Compound fractures took my mind off the skin he flailed from my back. That was a kindness I didn't appreciate at the time.
It was a mistake KGB, for you to cross Shootfighter's family.
And to what end? To placate Timeless’ ego?
Yeah. Good luck with that.
Still. They KGB have rebranded.
Cut ties to the old guard – reshuffled their group dynamic. Fresh blood at the top might bring them back their competitive edge. New ideas. <pained pause> Bearing fangs. Will it work? Of course it will.
James Fierce is one of the scariest talents to ever step foot in a SWAT ring.
With him in the group, I have no doubt they will find their form again. Soon they will look like the well oiled machine that menaced SWAT before I cut them down to size. A dangerous unit that will muscle their way into being top dogs in the dull geriatrics versus frat boy war...
Much like our X*Crown champion, with tonight’s violent assaults, The KGB have a level of momentum on their side that will make them almost impossible to approach. ...But the glory is still fresh. The impact sinking in. The plans have been set in motion but are not yet perfectly in sync.
There are members of the KGB that owe me their blood.
Next Battleground? They will be UNTOUCHABLE.
Tonight is really my LAST best shot at revenge.
(The wave of mutilation finally zooms out enough to show a chest covered in third degree burns.)
I spent much of the last year dressed up in so much medical gauze that I looked like some bastard cross between Darkman and the Aztec Mummy. Wasn't cheap becoming a walking billboard for Halloween.
For all the injuries and indignities I suffered during my championship reign, THAT particular look was largely owed to ONE defence.
Frostbite.
Remember that road agent, Steve-O? How did that guy get a job? A real testament to how suspect the owners’ judgement was, that a character like that could have any control in our federation. How desperate were they? I have to hope that was a Brewster hire. Guy was a walking nightmare. I only bring him up, Frost – and follow me on this one… because I have a question for you. It has been bugging me for awhile, so I am hoping you can shed some light on it.
A pill-popping official might have given you the okay, but AT WHAT POINT did you think it was APPROPRIATE to...
DOUSE.
AN OPPONENT.
IN.
LIQUID.
NITROGEN?!?
...Because that’s how that shit went down!
Top two faces in SWAT... THE FUCKING GOOD GUYS... and the challenger decides to just go for attempted murder like it was nothing. Fuck.
Do you get strong T-1000 vibes off me, Frost? Is that it? I’m so indestructible that you have to try to shatter me into a thousand pieces like an evil robot from the future? Was that where your head was at? Protect John Conner? That’s TIMELESS’ bullshit gimmick – I’m no damned cyborg.
Liquid metal? Trust me if I could morph bullet holes away, <pointing at literal bullet holes> I would.
So I had to shroud myself in bandages like a Universal Horror Icon, and embrace pain that you cannot begin to imagine, ALL while enduring countless reconstructions over the past year in that hope that, you know, skin took. That is the end result of YOUR weapon of choice.
No hard feelings.
Words get heated. Tempers run high... but <colder tone> don’t let the inhuman amount of abuse I shake off fool you.
My name is Radu Matei. Born on a cold spring day in Sibiu, Romania – the only child of Eugene and Cristina. Broke my first arm at the age of six, climbing a tree.
I felt that.
See, I am a human being. Even if your little stunt left forty percent of my body NUMB, I still have feelings. Pain is one of the feelings I know. Pain is the feeling I want to share with you.
Liquid nitrogen. That went beyond blood sports to being a physical assault in the ring. Of all my championship defences, it is the only one I am not proud of.
All my other defences built up my challengers as world calibre athletes. More that retaining, that was always the goal. Even if they were bloodbaths, there was an athleticism to the meat grinders. Our match? Pathetically short. Attempted murder, lacklustre finish. I believe Syberus even teased me about it, before I pinned him cleanly.
It wasn’t worthy of your talents.
I’ve seen you put on great matches, Frost. That night, I was disappointed in you both as a competitor and as a person.
Now, I know that the match being shit is largely on the doorstep of the agent, and that if we had it to do it over again, match of the year contender – but you almost killed me. ...So I wasn’t too shocked when you turned on Team SWAT back at New Year’s Nightmare – I had already seen the darkness within you first hand.
Management not wanting their second most popular baby face to look like an unhinged psychotic - which is reasonable - turned down my requests for a rematch. Better to sweep the whole messy business under the rug, and give Steve-O only a few more opportunities to burn the place down. Put as much distance between the two of us as possible. Fortunately, Zoran didn’t come in until after our misunderstanding – he isn’t as familiar with the event to know that risking us in the ring together is a potentially massive lawsuit. Along with management oversight, you have a worldwide pandemic that has played havoc on the talent showing up, and the general random factor of tournaments.
Against all odds, your flame has finally been reintroduced to my powder keg. THIS is going to be a reckoning.
The right circumstances will never come into alignment for this encounter again.
...It might be a tag match, but this is it.
It is not going to be pretty. Younger viewers, will be emotionally scarred.
I'm sure you've heard this a million times before - but Frostbite, the next time you try to turn a man into a fucking Popsicle, make sure he’s dead.
(The camera finally finishes touring the burn tissue, coming to a rest on two puncture holes in the Sacrificial Idol’s neck.)
Joanne.
We’ve been on a collision coarse since Devil’s Night. I have the unfortunate feeling that this is not our last chapter......... a guy can dream though. One thing I do know, is that after tonight – when you pool your KGB resources, and finish restructuring the gang? Your coffin is going to be a lot harder to reach. So with that thought in my mind, I'm trying to push out the darkness and focus on the task at hand.
I have one question for you, Joanne.
You have seen the tapestry of my agony. All the potential scars that can be left behind. Keeping these atrocities in mind, I ask you...
Garlic?
Holy symbols?
Decapitation?
Sunlight?
Flames?
Running water?
Stake through the heart?
...Pick your poison.
(The fang marks seem to burn in the darkness, causing the speaker some discomfort.)
KGB.
The more things change. The more they stay the same. You have new faces, but I will continue to be the ceiling that keeps you miserable sons of bitches in check. There is a lot of bad blood flowing between us, going into these semi-finals...
Fortunately, I brought leeches.
(Scar tissue.)
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mosler
Special GUNS Acess
Mosler's not here man.
Posts: 2,339
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Post by mosler on Apr 24, 2023 11:03:06 GMT -5
(SWAT Classic are... walking!)
(After a tough semi-finals the two look to regroup and put the honour of the company on the line against the ghosts of Hardkore World. From the bloody looks of our heroes, it is going to require a lot of electrical tape to put on a brave face. A singular focus pushes them towards the medical bay to get cleaned up, fortunately despite the urgency of their strides, the injuries allow investigative reporter, Sabrina Sinstone, to catch up with them.)Sabrina Sinstone: Rad – Linda – can I get a quick word? Congratulations Linda on being the first Amazon to make it to the finals of the Anzac Cup.Radu Matei: First Amazon to WIN the Anzac Cup.Sabrina Sinstone: After that KGB war, it is going to be an uphill battle. That said, you two have turned a lot of heads since the Cup started. We knew that individually, you were forces to be reckoned with, but I don’t think anyone could have imagined how well you’d mesh together.Lucky Linda: I’ll say. The first time we met, he almost broke my neck.Sabrina Sinstone: Well it was a horrible accide-Radu Matei: Oh no, that was conscious, I tried. Sabrina Sinstone: Oh.Radu Matei <shakes head with a tired smile>: I was working through some things. Dealing with Lynn Brewster, who could blame me?Lucky Linda <shakes hand to indicate its flimsy>: It is what it is. We had a great match, and the mutual respect IS there. At the same time, I almost suffered a career ending injury, back then that was a bitter pill to swallow.Sabrina Sinstone <desperate for a scoop>: Sounds like some unresolved issues. Could we see you meltdown on the eve of victory?!Radu Matei: Sorry Sin. If it was just a great match – that would be one thing, but this was the BEST match.Lucky Linda: Exactly. Sharing that award really forced us to grow as people...(December 20th, 2019)
(The Syndicate Wrestling And Tradition year’s end awards.)
(A relative triumph in the early days of the interim commissionership of Zoran Sainovic, was snagging the Fairground Follies as the venue for the annual award ceremony. Located inside the Mechanical Music Museum an hour outside of Sydney, the 2200 square foot space would add a sense of glamour not previously seen for the awards. Sadly Sainovic decided the pocket the substantial deposit, booking a dingy storage space down the street instead.)(The camera pans past balloon arches, streamers and banners used to gussy up the space - before pulling up to a table. Here the owner of SWAT shoves fistfuls of “Most Popular Wrestler Suzi Spitz” ballots into a box.)Mafia Stereotype Gino: Yo, Uncle – why you fixing it for this Spitz broad? You hitting that?Joe Pesci <spinning around with a snarl>: I don’t want that bastard Radu to win EVERYTHING! Now get the accountants over here, tell them we missed a few votes on favourite and need to recount th-“...And the MATCH OF THE YEAR goes to...”(Standing on a makeshift stage, a moderately faded star opens an envelope.)TV’s David Soul: Lucky Linda La Fey and the “Sacrificial Idol” Radu Matei for their Battleground 14 title fight!Joe Pesci: F-(Massive applause even manages to drown out the owner’s vulgarity laced rant. As Joe starts shoving even more ballots into the box, including his own name to make sure that monster Radu doesn’t pick up best manager too, the winners make there way up to the stage.)Radu Matei: Thanks David, you were great on Happy Days.TV’s David Soul <starts to correct him but is happy to get any acknowledgement>: I’ll take it.Radu & Linda: Th- (Arriving at the podium at the same time, the duo that would be SWAT Classic cut off one another’s acceptance speeches.)Radu Matei: Please go ahead Linda, my acceptance speech can wait. <turning to crowd with a grin> I’m expecting to win a few more of these tonight.Joe Pesci <frantically scribbling out more ballots>: STAY AWAY FROM THE MANAGER AWARD, YOU SON OF-(Appreciating Matei’s arrogant boast for a humorous statement of fact, the crowd laugh over the SWAT owner’s vulgarity laced warning.)Lucky Linda <forced smile>: Chance is kind of my THING, Radu. I’ll get more than my share of opportunities - so please <waving a hand to the microphone> start.Radu Matei <shrug>: Your call.
<steps over to the mic> I probably will pick up some additional baubles this evening – but none of them will mean as much as this. Other than tag team honours, THIS is the gold that acknowledges our sport as a collaborative effort.
<holding up two fingers – on splints naturally> This took two.
The combative nature of our profession usually focuses verbal sparring on putting our opponents’ down. That is an important part of the spectacle. It is easy, however, to lose sight of the goal while jockeying for position in a negative wave of trash talk. If I spent an entire tournament labouring on about how my opponents were beneath me, worthless, and generally sucked – trying to win a one sided argument, with more emphasis on malice than entertainment - what would my victory really mean?
Respecting others IS respecting oneself.(Viewers at home watching this flashback from six months ago may find it relevant to current programming.)Radu Matei: When I look back on this past year, at all the fantastic matches that the rest of my SWAT family have put on? Timeless and Goth, hell even Frostbite and Soutter... It means a great deal that THIS particular match was centred out for approval by all of you. It is an immense honour, one I happily share with Linda.
I could not have done it without Linda La Fey, nor would I want to.(Applause in the air, Radu nods appreciatively to La Fey who steps up to the mic.)Lucky Linda: Thank you. As Radu said, this award means the absolute world to me, and I already have a spot picked out on the mant-(…!)
(Hands touch.)
(Was there only one award?)
(As Linda and Radu both hold the 2019 MOTY trophy, an audible gasp escapes the collective crowd. Who is going to take it home?)“Industrial Man” Attila Balan <with all the emotional attachment of a cold and calculating robot>: ROUND 2!(A round 2 chant starts up amongst the audience, even David Soul gets in on the action. The duo that would become SWAT Classic awkwardly stand on the stage, neither willing to give an inch, but also wanting to avoid friction in front of their peers.)
(Star Wipe!)
(A transition takes us to the SWAT award show after party.......... It’s the exact same venue, only Pesci wasn’t invited. There are a lot of familiar faces, the only noticeable exceptions are a certain society that weren’t having their egos placated so fucked off to their old boys club. As the rest of the crowd get pissed, SWAT Classic are still on the stage ignoring their many other awards as they try to figure out a schedule for the one they share.) Radu Matei: So we’re agreed, I get Mondays through Wednesdays, you get Thursdays through Saturdays, and we’ll alternate Sundays.Lucky Linda: And holidays? You can have Christmas if I get it for Thanksgiving.Radu Matei: That works. The only holiday that really matters to me is St. Patrick’s Day...Lucky Linda: Son of a bitch!(As communication breaks down, the camera turns to the party where The Dread Lord Dinosaur Bones who has wrapped a sheet over one shoulder.)Zoran Sainovic <plastered and pointing>: TOGA! TOGA!DINOSAUR BONES: IGNORANT FLESHLING! I AM CLEARLY DRESSED AS A GHOST!(As the SWAT Ultimate champion tries to coax the commissioner into a tar pit match, the camera pans back to the future SWAT Classic, who have brought in a mediator.)Radu Matei: I’ll keep my pets away from it, if she promises not to drink out of it.Lucky Linda: Why do you assume I’d be drinking?Radu Matei: YOU just assumed I had bugs in my apartment.Lucky Linda: CLEARLY.Ben Rothstein, Wrestling Lawyer <nodding>: Both are very valid arguments. At this point, we are at an impasse and with no viable alternatives - WE SHOULD CUT THE TROPHY IN HALF!!!(Always the life of the party, Rothstein pulls out his trusty welding torch.)Lucky Linda: NO!Radu Matei <putting his hand between the torch and the statue>: Rather than have harm come to the trophy, I will let Linda have it...Lucky Linda: Me too-Radu Matei: ...on St. Patrick’s day, with the shared schedule we already outlined. (Dirty looks are exchanged.)Ben Rothstein, Wrestling Lawyer <turning down torch>: Fine. You called my bluff, to be honest, I was hoping to crack it open to see what material was inside. I represent a class action lawsuit against Syndicate Wrestling, involving the mercury poisoning of the 2016 winners. You could both be at serious risk. (Faced with the prospect of defacing their statuette, the MOTY winners nod politely to one another at the decision reached. Picking up their shared property, Matei and La Fey make their way out of the party. In the background, the guests chant “Toga” while Roman looking commissioners and dinosaurs attempt to throw each other into the punchbowl.)Sabrina Sinstone (V.O.): So you put your differences aside to take care of the award together?Lucky Linda (V.O.): It was contentious at the beginning, but we swallowed our pride and did what was best for the trophy. You always have to put the award first.Radu Matei (V.O.): Exactly, it's not the trophy’s fault – and it's important to be very clear about that.Lucky Linda (V.O.): Co-ownership isn’t always easy, but we made it work.(A burnt out dodge pulls quickly into a parking lot. Leaning against her BMW, Linda checks her watch – late. Leaning out his window, Radu starts to offer excuses, only for Linda to grab the trophy from him.)
(A series of dissolves continue to highlight the superstars different approaches to award ownership. Heading to the company sack race, Radu has already started hoping before noticing a ribbon around the statue’s base. These accessories look ridiculous! Linda shows up at Radu’s apartment to pick up the MOTY, only to find Radu watching Human Centipede 3 with it. Not appropriate. Does it smell of Jin? Was that an ant? With every image, the two’s relationship becomes increasingly icy.)
(Another three days, another exchange. They meet at a public park. The award is left to play on a swing, while the team that would be SWAT Classic sit on a nearby bench, having the kind of animated conversation that might upset inanimate ears.)
(Before they can get too heated – Linda looks back to the playground and scowls. The Sacrificial Idol follows her gaze – and the camera pans with them. The MOTY award lies in the gravel, while a 1978 Sour Apple award now sits on the swing.)
(Radu and Linda’s eyes narrow in unison as a team is born.)
(Hall & Oates starts pumping over the montage as it starts to get more upbeat, an SWAT Classic spring into action. Like a mother protecting her child, Lucky Linda charges up to TV’s David Soul.)Lucky Linda: What the hell do you think you’re doing?TV’s David Soul: It’s a public park! You don’t intimidate me, I played a cop in the 70s!Radu Matei <picking up the match of the year with paternal concern, and dusting it off>: You okay, sport?TV’s David Soul: My sour apple has just as much right to use this equipment as that scrap metal.(Hutch might not play by the rules, but he’s gone too far. With a guttural scream, Lucky Linda attacks the elderly actor. Blood everywhere. Trusting her to take care of business, Radu Matei turns his attention to the 1978 Sour Apple – field kicking it into the horizon.)
(A star wipe sees SWAT Classic speeding down the highway. Sirens follow them. Is it now illegal to beat a senior citizen half to death? They pull over. A motorcycle cop that looks alarmingly similar to Erik Estrada steps up to the window.)Erik Estrada: This lane is for vehicles occupied by three-(Radu points a thumb to the back where the award is strapped into a child safety seat. CHiPs shakes his head as the trio speed off into the distance.)
(Decked out as a GWAR cover act, SWAT Classic compete against high school punks in a battle of the bands! The trophy plays some mean drums. When they win, the teens cry. Despite being the federation’s only faces, SWAT Classic mock the upset children. They’re rock stars.)(The trio break into Champoon, to steal the rival federation’s mascot, Potso The Pig. Well, Potso is someone’s mascot. They love their ribs. Award pulls his weight, literally as a blunt object to knock out security guards and frisky hogs.)
(At the La Brea tar pits, the group pour shaving cream onto Dinosaur Bones claw – then tickle his nose so he rubs it in his skeletal face!)
(At the hospital, SWAT Classic sign each other’s casts. The award shows up with a thousand origami cranes. He does care.)
(Over at the fair, our trio look ready to get sick as they stagger off a rollercoaster. Stumbling over to a game of chance, Radu tries his luck at the ring toss, winning a prize in short order. Radu selects a poop emoji balloon to give to the award. Stuffing its face with cotton candy, the 2019 SWAT Best Match of the Year declares their trip to the carnival to be the most awesome day ever, before the balloon is tied to him.)
(The final image sees the hydrogen in the poop balloon lifting the award off the ground. SWAT Classic chase after him, before a star wipe takes us back…)
(The Anzac Cup.)Lucky Linda: So we started as rivals, but are now genuine friends.Radu Matei: And if you think those adventures were madcap, you should see the ones we had in my coma. <nodding towards the back> Speaking of medicine, we really do need patch these wounds up. Sabrina Sinstone: Of course, thank you again Rad, Linda, and good luck.(SWAT Classic continue down the hall.)Sabrina Sinstone <turning back to the camera>: There you have it fans, as we leave SWAT Classic to make their final preparations for the main event, one thing is certain. We should all hope that they win the Anzac Cup, because no one will treat it better.
(Star Wipe to the Match of the Year still floating in the sky.)
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