Post by mosler on Apr 24, 2023 11:11:29 GMT -5
The Tipsy Hawk is a sports bar located just a stone’s throw away from The State Farm Arena. The former Phillips Arena is the venue where the latest SWAT pay per view is drawing to a close. A memorial event, one would expect the gathering talent to be in a sombre mood. Instead the camera finds Rajiv Khan attempting to lead a chorus of Hindi drinking songs, while Brien O. Thomas tries to talk a waitress into letting the crew do keg stands. Much like his in-ring work, BOT’s slurred argument is a losing effort. A large portion of the locker room have pushed together a few tables, giving a proper send off to their retiring ace.
TJ Zousa: ...Needless to say, with no way to post bail, we spent the weekend in the filthiest Anniston jail you’ve ever seen. This is fine for him mind you, I’m fairly confident Rad doubled his bug collection. Me? I had to hear about Banded Longhorn Beetles for the better part of sixty hours! And I was polite about it... because he was the only thing keeping me from getting shived. It was a POWERFUL learning aid. <raising mug> I’m going to miss you, Rad.
Radu Matei: Especially the next time you’re in Anniston.
Drunken laughter soon leads to more toasts. While the revelry continues on, the two men share an appreciative nod. Attempting to match the energy and mood of the friends that braved a pandemic to see him off, The Sacrificial Idol wears a broad smile. A sadness in Matei’s eyes, suggests that this next chapter in his career will be tougher than he expected.
Brian Acres: Doctor’s orders? Who you kidding, Rad? We all know you’ll be bleeding out again in a month.
Leif Larsen: More like a week.
Sabrina Sinstone: How is he not bleeding right now?
Brian Acres: Exactly!
As a few of the boys offer odds; Radu continues to smile, shaking his head at suggestions of a return. Planning to order another round, The Sacrificial Idol looks up to see Anthony Caffrey walking into the dive. Not entirely sure he will join them, Matei raises a friendly arm trying to make the Emperor feel welcomed.
Radu Matei: Caffrey – pull up a chair. Really glad you were able to join us, means a lot to have you all here. What are you drinking?
Caffrey scans the room, taking in a roll call before V-lining to the guest of honour. He looks over at the bartender and signals for his drink. He looks fairly amused at the crew Matei is rolling with for his retirement party.
Anthony Caffrey: I drove over here after getting sewed up from that damn barbed-wire table, so I’ll be taking water -- but thanks for the offer. I wasn’t planning on staying anyway.
The bartender looks annoyed to be pouring a glass of ice water, but he does so. Caffrey gives him a fiver and continues chatting, slowly. He is clearly still in a world of pain from the absolute nightmare of a match Timeless just gave him.
Anthony Caffrey: I came with a piece of business.
Radu Matei: As much as I enjoy talking shop, I’m officially outta the business. Boy just isn’t where it used to be. Normally, I’d hit my friends up for a liver transplant – but you see the crew I run with!
Everyone laughs and has a shot, pinning their livers for the three count.
Radu Matei: Oh, but speaking of business - congratulations Caffrey! I knew at the end of the night one of us would still be with SWAT, and I had my money on you.
Anthony Caffrey: Yeah, as my memory starts to hauntingly return to me…
He shudders, thinking of the brutality he just had to inflict a few hours before and the war he’s had with Brad Swann. The Wrestling Emperor leans on the table Matei is seated at.
Radu Matei: Here have a beer, Caff. I’m not Larry Holmes, its not every week I retire.
Oxanna Willie <turning from the dartboard>: I have five hundred bucks that gives it two weeks.
Sabrina Sinstone: I'll take that action.
Radu Matei <yelling over Khan’s drinking song with a fake laugh>: Hardy HAR.
Caffrey looks Matei up and down. He tries to ignore the rest of Matei’s posse to focus on his message, getting right down to business.
Anthony Caffrey: You honestly want that Spitz match to be your retirement? I mean you won, but...
Radu Matei: We can’t all pick our time, Caffrey. This idol has a few too many cracks in it. I had one regret, which I was able to rectify on my way out.
Anthony Caffrey: One regret?
Radu Matei: Sure. SWAT has been good to me. One singles loss in a two year run. Passed the torch to a person who shouldn’t have been trusted. She let me down hard. I rectified that earlier, by letting her down harder. Now I’m surprisingly content.
Caffrey looks down at his drink, helping himself to more of it. He seems very disappointed that it isn’t alcoholic. There is no spring in his step as he speaks.
Anthony Caffrey: It must be nice.
Radu Matei: I get by.
Anthony Caffrey: That’s not what I thought it would be.
Radu Matei: Oh?
Anthony Caffrey: Yeah. I figured… you came up short in two ANZAC Cups. You lost two tag tournaments when you got eliminated while standing on the apron. Your partners let you down, getting pinned by eventual winners. I would have thought that your tag team record might be a regret.
Radu Matei: …
Anthony Caffrey: Or maybe, just maybe -- the isolation would have been your big regret. I’m not just talking about quarantine and masks and social distancing and all that other shit running our lives now. You’ve been the big bad measuring stick in SWAT ever since the show came to the Network, but you don’t mix with anyone else. You’re me, circa the AXW days where I just beat up Anomoly and Duke Kosloff over and over. While SWAT is certainly no small pond, you haven’t seemed willing to run the risks of failure, competing against the bigger fish and sharks of the Network in order to chase greater glories. There is no X-Crown in your history.
The 2020 Rumble winner lets out a small smile as he makes his point.
Radu Matei: Don’t sell yourself short. Back when I was wasting away in Dixie, I used to catch the AXW signals. I enjoyed those Anomoly matches. Hindsight might make you wish you’d done something else with the time, but this is one wrestling fan that could have seen that pairing a hundred times. Point is – at SWAT, with the time I had, I did the right thing for the most people. Rather than go after the X-Crown, I made my own crown.
Anthony Caffrey: I thought being undefeated like you was the answer to everything, but it’s not. Doing something for the greater good, something for the fans that pack in our arenas every single week, that’s what’s got me going these days. It’s a lot more fun at the top when you’ve got 10,000 friends cheering you instead of booing you. And here I am, I’ve been trying to make SWAT the #1 show on the Network. I think I’ve almost succeeded. And here you are, supposed to represent the BEST of SWAT, and you won’t even go out for Call to Arms. You let that team fail miserably. And then when it comes to the Crown itself? You’re nowhere to be found. I won mine, and you just let that crooked asshole Zoran be the king of the Network before me.
Radu Matei: ...
Anthony Caffrey: So, I’m glad you don’t have any regrets. I’m surprised… but glad, I guess.
He looks around again at Matei’s retirement party. He’s searching for something, and doesn’t find it.
Anthony Caffrey: You guys didn’t even get him a cake?
Oxanna Willie <turning from the dartboard>: We figured we’d be having this shindig from an E.R. Actually having Rad walk out of an arena? It was a surprise.
Sabrina Sinstone: Have you ever tried to sneak a cake past hospital orderlies at this time of night? Besides. Um. I thought Rajiv was bringing it.
Rajiv Khan: Your lies make Baby Ganesha cry.
Radu Matei: Forget it guys. Amount of larva I’ve collected from baked goods over the years, cakes aren’t my scene. Plus I had my sweet tooth kicked out years ago. Des Moines in ’98, if memory serves! ...So Caffrey, is there a point to this?
Anthony Caffrey: Yeah, you think you’re done. There is no Quail Park of Lynnwood, no retirement home for you. I respect you too much to let you just be done. I’m telling you that you are just getting started. You and I vs. the world. We win the tag team championships, we win the Annihilator, we reign as champions for a very, very long time.
A vein twitches on Matei’s right temple. His eyes race with possibilities, even as the words of a hundred doctors scream down his hopes. It is more of a struggle than he had earlier in the night to maintain his composure.
Radu Matei: I appreciate you coming down, Caffrey, but this situation is out of my hands.
Caffrey clearly expected his pitch to be accepted right then and there. His face doesn’t hide his disappointment. He stands up from his chair and gets ready to go. There is a bitterness to the wrestling veteran’s voice.
Anthony Caffrey: Well fuck. I guess I was wrong in my scouting sessions then. I guess the light really did go out for you. Here you are, content to spend the next what… twenty, thirty years, hanging out in dive bars like this, throwing darts at a wall, spending time with people who couldn’t even get you a fucking cake! Forget it; I don’t need this sorry ass sadsack ‘What If’ version of you weighing me down.
Turning his back on the Idol, Caffrey starts to leave. All eyes are on him, but the tense atmosphere is quickly washed away on a river of shots. By the time Caffrey has stepped outside, the loud laughter is once again booming. Caffrey turns back and yells back into the bar, voicing his disappointment.
Anthony Caffrey: YOU KNOW, I GOT IN SWAT BECAUSE OF YOUR MATCH WITH MORELLI AT NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS! A WRESTLING PURIST’S DREAM, AN INSTANT CLASSIC MATCH! AND NOW YOU’RE THROWING AWAY EVERYTHING TO BECOME JUST ANOTHER ASSHOLE AT THE BAR!
#SLAM#
The former X*Crown champion turns his back to The Tipsy Hawk just as Radu Matei stomps out to greet this party crasher.
Radu Matei: You want to talk about regrets. About standing on the apron? I lost the Anzac this year because YOU exhausted all our energy in the quarterfinals! I would have WON that trophy, but unfortunate draws meant we were beat long before that last match!
Anthony Caffrey: Sounds like you needed a stronger partner. I almost beat SWAT’s greatest with just a step up from a broom.
Radu Matei: As for isolating? I wanted to represent SWAT on XHF shows, hell; I campaigned to get us involved in Night of Champions. Only we send Frostbite to Eve of Destruction, and the XHF guy who eliminates him is so hateful in his post-match teasing that the SWAT brass are worried the XHF can’t be trusted with their undefeated champion. YEAH, that conversation happened! I can’t get booked on an XHF show to save my life, and it would have. We still have SWAT guys that won’t sign up for Rumbles, because YOUR ACTIONS traumatized them, Caffrey! So as far as isolation goes - talk about trend setting, that was on YOU.
Anthony Caffrey: I’ll tell you right now Matei, I don’t take excuses. I didn’t extend my offer to whatever this is that you’ve become. Now get the fuck outta here old man.
Letting out a guttural growl, The Beast of Dixie shoves The Wrestling Emperor back into a parked car.
Pushing a knuckle into Matei’s throbbing temple, Caffrey muscles him off.
A shove into a brick wall is answered by an even stronger shove into bench.
Both men are still reeling from the effects of their encounters at the Memorial. Letting this escalate further would be a mistake.
After a beat, the two men start wailing on each other. Fresh bandages from earlier medical treatment at the show are quickly shredded off. They do their best to cover-up, but why block a punch when you can fish hook a guy into a fire hydrant? The few pedestrians walking the streets actually recognize social distancing for a change. If only Matei’s bloody spit take couldn’t splatter ten feet.
Oblivious to the upset public crossing the street, Caffrey grinds Matei’s mug into bricks. A cheap shot soon reverses the situation. Punch after punch, they clobber each other’s faces into hamburger. Matei reopens the wounds of Caffrey’s that were just stitched closed hours before. A trickle of blood spurts out of a cut above Matei’s left eye. An XHF dream match has just broken out in the parking lot of a crappy sports bar.
They keep fighting. For any questions about whether he’s still got it, Matei has the spirit within him to sustain an offense and rally with some of his 100 Blows. Caffrey just misses with the Closing Remarks, but tackles the former heavyweight champion to the hard concrete. He strikes hard, but Matei gouges his eye and grabs his shirt, sending him to the ground.
The two men make it back to their feet and look worse for wear. Right when it looks like the fighting might come to an end, Caffrey grapples Matei, looking to send him onto the hood of the car behind them. Out of pure instinct, Matei manages to create some distance, before driving into Caffrey with a running shoulder block into an inside cradle, the very Creep Crawl that won Matei his match with Morelli. Caffrey elbows his way out as both men eventually collapse in a bloody heap.
Backs on the filthy concrete, Anthony Caffrey and Radu Matei stare up at the stars, desperately trying to catch their breaths, both men having fought two different wars tonight.
[…]
Radu Matei: You know how much ribbing I’m going to get for staying?
Anthony Caffrey: Substantially less than all those XHF guys who said you were ducking them.
Radu Matei: ...I can’t win.
Anthony Caffrey: Yeah. But no regrets...
Radu Matei: …none.
Coming to an understanding, the two men attempt to figure out a way to sit-up before the SWAT locker room discover their prone state. The stakes are high. They pull each other up and shake hands before the camera fades to black.
TJ Zousa: ...Needless to say, with no way to post bail, we spent the weekend in the filthiest Anniston jail you’ve ever seen. This is fine for him mind you, I’m fairly confident Rad doubled his bug collection. Me? I had to hear about Banded Longhorn Beetles for the better part of sixty hours! And I was polite about it... because he was the only thing keeping me from getting shived. It was a POWERFUL learning aid. <raising mug> I’m going to miss you, Rad.
Radu Matei: Especially the next time you’re in Anniston.
Drunken laughter soon leads to more toasts. While the revelry continues on, the two men share an appreciative nod. Attempting to match the energy and mood of the friends that braved a pandemic to see him off, The Sacrificial Idol wears a broad smile. A sadness in Matei’s eyes, suggests that this next chapter in his career will be tougher than he expected.
Brian Acres: Doctor’s orders? Who you kidding, Rad? We all know you’ll be bleeding out again in a month.
Leif Larsen: More like a week.
Sabrina Sinstone: How is he not bleeding right now?
Brian Acres: Exactly!
As a few of the boys offer odds; Radu continues to smile, shaking his head at suggestions of a return. Planning to order another round, The Sacrificial Idol looks up to see Anthony Caffrey walking into the dive. Not entirely sure he will join them, Matei raises a friendly arm trying to make the Emperor feel welcomed.
Radu Matei: Caffrey – pull up a chair. Really glad you were able to join us, means a lot to have you all here. What are you drinking?
Caffrey scans the room, taking in a roll call before V-lining to the guest of honour. He looks over at the bartender and signals for his drink. He looks fairly amused at the crew Matei is rolling with for his retirement party.
Anthony Caffrey: I drove over here after getting sewed up from that damn barbed-wire table, so I’ll be taking water -- but thanks for the offer. I wasn’t planning on staying anyway.
The bartender looks annoyed to be pouring a glass of ice water, but he does so. Caffrey gives him a fiver and continues chatting, slowly. He is clearly still in a world of pain from the absolute nightmare of a match Timeless just gave him.
Anthony Caffrey: I came with a piece of business.
Radu Matei: As much as I enjoy talking shop, I’m officially outta the business. Boy just isn’t where it used to be. Normally, I’d hit my friends up for a liver transplant – but you see the crew I run with!
Everyone laughs and has a shot, pinning their livers for the three count.
Radu Matei: Oh, but speaking of business - congratulations Caffrey! I knew at the end of the night one of us would still be with SWAT, and I had my money on you.
Anthony Caffrey: Yeah, as my memory starts to hauntingly return to me…
He shudders, thinking of the brutality he just had to inflict a few hours before and the war he’s had with Brad Swann. The Wrestling Emperor leans on the table Matei is seated at.
Radu Matei: Here have a beer, Caff. I’m not Larry Holmes, its not every week I retire.
Oxanna Willie <turning from the dartboard>: I have five hundred bucks that gives it two weeks.
Sabrina Sinstone: I'll take that action.
Radu Matei <yelling over Khan’s drinking song with a fake laugh>: Hardy HAR.
Caffrey looks Matei up and down. He tries to ignore the rest of Matei’s posse to focus on his message, getting right down to business.
Anthony Caffrey: You honestly want that Spitz match to be your retirement? I mean you won, but...
Radu Matei: We can’t all pick our time, Caffrey. This idol has a few too many cracks in it. I had one regret, which I was able to rectify on my way out.
Anthony Caffrey: One regret?
Radu Matei: Sure. SWAT has been good to me. One singles loss in a two year run. Passed the torch to a person who shouldn’t have been trusted. She let me down hard. I rectified that earlier, by letting her down harder. Now I’m surprisingly content.
Caffrey looks down at his drink, helping himself to more of it. He seems very disappointed that it isn’t alcoholic. There is no spring in his step as he speaks.
Anthony Caffrey: It must be nice.
Radu Matei: I get by.
Anthony Caffrey: That’s not what I thought it would be.
Radu Matei: Oh?
Anthony Caffrey: Yeah. I figured… you came up short in two ANZAC Cups. You lost two tag tournaments when you got eliminated while standing on the apron. Your partners let you down, getting pinned by eventual winners. I would have thought that your tag team record might be a regret.
Radu Matei: …
Anthony Caffrey: Or maybe, just maybe -- the isolation would have been your big regret. I’m not just talking about quarantine and masks and social distancing and all that other shit running our lives now. You’ve been the big bad measuring stick in SWAT ever since the show came to the Network, but you don’t mix with anyone else. You’re me, circa the AXW days where I just beat up Anomoly and Duke Kosloff over and over. While SWAT is certainly no small pond, you haven’t seemed willing to run the risks of failure, competing against the bigger fish and sharks of the Network in order to chase greater glories. There is no X-Crown in your history.
The 2020 Rumble winner lets out a small smile as he makes his point.
Radu Matei: Don’t sell yourself short. Back when I was wasting away in Dixie, I used to catch the AXW signals. I enjoyed those Anomoly matches. Hindsight might make you wish you’d done something else with the time, but this is one wrestling fan that could have seen that pairing a hundred times. Point is – at SWAT, with the time I had, I did the right thing for the most people. Rather than go after the X-Crown, I made my own crown.
Anthony Caffrey: I thought being undefeated like you was the answer to everything, but it’s not. Doing something for the greater good, something for the fans that pack in our arenas every single week, that’s what’s got me going these days. It’s a lot more fun at the top when you’ve got 10,000 friends cheering you instead of booing you. And here I am, I’ve been trying to make SWAT the #1 show on the Network. I think I’ve almost succeeded. And here you are, supposed to represent the BEST of SWAT, and you won’t even go out for Call to Arms. You let that team fail miserably. And then when it comes to the Crown itself? You’re nowhere to be found. I won mine, and you just let that crooked asshole Zoran be the king of the Network before me.
Radu Matei: ...
Anthony Caffrey: So, I’m glad you don’t have any regrets. I’m surprised… but glad, I guess.
He looks around again at Matei’s retirement party. He’s searching for something, and doesn’t find it.
Anthony Caffrey: You guys didn’t even get him a cake?
Oxanna Willie <turning from the dartboard>: We figured we’d be having this shindig from an E.R. Actually having Rad walk out of an arena? It was a surprise.
Sabrina Sinstone: Have you ever tried to sneak a cake past hospital orderlies at this time of night? Besides. Um. I thought Rajiv was bringing it.
Rajiv Khan: Your lies make Baby Ganesha cry.
Radu Matei: Forget it guys. Amount of larva I’ve collected from baked goods over the years, cakes aren’t my scene. Plus I had my sweet tooth kicked out years ago. Des Moines in ’98, if memory serves! ...So Caffrey, is there a point to this?
Anthony Caffrey: Yeah, you think you’re done. There is no Quail Park of Lynnwood, no retirement home for you. I respect you too much to let you just be done. I’m telling you that you are just getting started. You and I vs. the world. We win the tag team championships, we win the Annihilator, we reign as champions for a very, very long time.
A vein twitches on Matei’s right temple. His eyes race with possibilities, even as the words of a hundred doctors scream down his hopes. It is more of a struggle than he had earlier in the night to maintain his composure.
Radu Matei: I appreciate you coming down, Caffrey, but this situation is out of my hands.
Caffrey clearly expected his pitch to be accepted right then and there. His face doesn’t hide his disappointment. He stands up from his chair and gets ready to go. There is a bitterness to the wrestling veteran’s voice.
Anthony Caffrey: Well fuck. I guess I was wrong in my scouting sessions then. I guess the light really did go out for you. Here you are, content to spend the next what… twenty, thirty years, hanging out in dive bars like this, throwing darts at a wall, spending time with people who couldn’t even get you a fucking cake! Forget it; I don’t need this sorry ass sadsack ‘What If’ version of you weighing me down.
Turning his back on the Idol, Caffrey starts to leave. All eyes are on him, but the tense atmosphere is quickly washed away on a river of shots. By the time Caffrey has stepped outside, the loud laughter is once again booming. Caffrey turns back and yells back into the bar, voicing his disappointment.
Anthony Caffrey: YOU KNOW, I GOT IN SWAT BECAUSE OF YOUR MATCH WITH MORELLI AT NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS! A WRESTLING PURIST’S DREAM, AN INSTANT CLASSIC MATCH! AND NOW YOU’RE THROWING AWAY EVERYTHING TO BECOME JUST ANOTHER ASSHOLE AT THE BAR!
#SLAM#
The former X*Crown champion turns his back to The Tipsy Hawk just as Radu Matei stomps out to greet this party crasher.
Radu Matei: You want to talk about regrets. About standing on the apron? I lost the Anzac this year because YOU exhausted all our energy in the quarterfinals! I would have WON that trophy, but unfortunate draws meant we were beat long before that last match!
Anthony Caffrey: Sounds like you needed a stronger partner. I almost beat SWAT’s greatest with just a step up from a broom.
Radu Matei: As for isolating? I wanted to represent SWAT on XHF shows, hell; I campaigned to get us involved in Night of Champions. Only we send Frostbite to Eve of Destruction, and the XHF guy who eliminates him is so hateful in his post-match teasing that the SWAT brass are worried the XHF can’t be trusted with their undefeated champion. YEAH, that conversation happened! I can’t get booked on an XHF show to save my life, and it would have. We still have SWAT guys that won’t sign up for Rumbles, because YOUR ACTIONS traumatized them, Caffrey! So as far as isolation goes - talk about trend setting, that was on YOU.
Anthony Caffrey: I’ll tell you right now Matei, I don’t take excuses. I didn’t extend my offer to whatever this is that you’ve become. Now get the fuck outta here old man.
Letting out a guttural growl, The Beast of Dixie shoves The Wrestling Emperor back into a parked car.
Pushing a knuckle into Matei’s throbbing temple, Caffrey muscles him off.
A shove into a brick wall is answered by an even stronger shove into bench.
Both men are still reeling from the effects of their encounters at the Memorial. Letting this escalate further would be a mistake.
After a beat, the two men start wailing on each other. Fresh bandages from earlier medical treatment at the show are quickly shredded off. They do their best to cover-up, but why block a punch when you can fish hook a guy into a fire hydrant? The few pedestrians walking the streets actually recognize social distancing for a change. If only Matei’s bloody spit take couldn’t splatter ten feet.
Oblivious to the upset public crossing the street, Caffrey grinds Matei’s mug into bricks. A cheap shot soon reverses the situation. Punch after punch, they clobber each other’s faces into hamburger. Matei reopens the wounds of Caffrey’s that were just stitched closed hours before. A trickle of blood spurts out of a cut above Matei’s left eye. An XHF dream match has just broken out in the parking lot of a crappy sports bar.
They keep fighting. For any questions about whether he’s still got it, Matei has the spirit within him to sustain an offense and rally with some of his 100 Blows. Caffrey just misses with the Closing Remarks, but tackles the former heavyweight champion to the hard concrete. He strikes hard, but Matei gouges his eye and grabs his shirt, sending him to the ground.
The two men make it back to their feet and look worse for wear. Right when it looks like the fighting might come to an end, Caffrey grapples Matei, looking to send him onto the hood of the car behind them. Out of pure instinct, Matei manages to create some distance, before driving into Caffrey with a running shoulder block into an inside cradle, the very Creep Crawl that won Matei his match with Morelli. Caffrey elbows his way out as both men eventually collapse in a bloody heap.
Backs on the filthy concrete, Anthony Caffrey and Radu Matei stare up at the stars, desperately trying to catch their breaths, both men having fought two different wars tonight.
[…]
Radu Matei: You know how much ribbing I’m going to get for staying?
Anthony Caffrey: Substantially less than all those XHF guys who said you were ducking them.
Radu Matei: ...I can’t win.
Anthony Caffrey: Yeah. But no regrets...
Radu Matei: …none.
Coming to an understanding, the two men attempt to figure out a way to sit-up before the SWAT locker room discover their prone state. The stakes are high. They pull each other up and shake hands before the camera fades to black.