Post by mosler on Apr 24, 2023 11:13:16 GMT -5
(The dog days of summer.)
(In the middle of a public park, rusts a jungle gym.)
(Yellow caution tape warns children that any attempt to exercise will displease authority figures. At least that is what the parents reiterate while dodging the hundred questions about why the slide is out of service. The kids don’t even like the slide; they’re far more interested in wrapping that yellow tape around other things. You could make a cool fort out of a mailbox. One of the boys wonders if the “C” word is the only one that the tape comes in – their fort would look a lot cooler if it read “Awesome.” The lankiest of the group insists that alternative phrases are not only available, but his cousin who lives in another state got one that said, “Boobs.” The children’s eyes dart about, searching for adult ears that might not take kindly to their naughty subject matter. Nope, the parents are too busy with their smart phones. One right swipe away from escaping loveless marriages. The conversation moves on to the subject of knickers. Which the kids agree is their favourite candy bar.)
(Away from this social gathering, a slightly smaller boy moves farther away from this COVID playground towards some elm trees. At the beginning of the pandemic, a few of the other children’s mothers had attempted to arrange play dates, but rational heads prevailed. It kind of set the tone for a very lonely summer. Now the trash has bonded, and as the odd boy out, its up to this child to entertain himself.)
(The camera zooms in on the object of the boy’s affection, a large blue cicada.)
(Palms sweaty with anticipation, the boy grips a small net, ready to spring at the bug.)
(The lunge!)
(YES!)
(Grasping the net shut with one hand, the boy pokes through it with his index finger looking for his prize...)
(No.)
(It got away.)
(The other children laugh; having decided that the concept of poop breath is the funniest expression ever. PAW Patrol has been replaced in their tiny hearts.)
(Looking down at the ground, the boy feels the high-pitched chuckles are aimed at his recent failure.)
Kool Moe Dee: WHO’S YOUR DADDY?
(The boy looks up startled.)
(Deathless is decked out in a loud, yellow tracksuit. It is safe to say that it was the early 90s when Radu Matei decided what kind of Euro Trash he was going to grow up to be. The sounds of Kool Moe Dee giving it to LL Cool J burst from the SWAT Legend’s ear buds. Tapping away at the side of his phone, Matei brings the volume down to a less aggressive level.)
Radu Matei: Get it?
(The child shakes his head.)
Radu Matei: Well, that’s half the fun. Keep at it. It’ll pay off eventually. Those brood nine cicadas don’t come out that often, so this is YOUR summer.
(The thought of this being his only chance, just heightens the boy’s anxiety.)
(Sensing the growing frustration, Matei removes a small jar from his pocket. In it is an electric blue cicada twice the size of the one the child was hunting for.)
Radu Matei: Now, I found this guy on the other end of the park. His name is Cyril, by the way. Problem is, I’m on the road so often, that I don’t think I can give Cyril a proper home. I know it’s a COLLECTION so you have to catch the bugs yourself...
(From the excitement on his face, it doesn’t look like the boy is that concerned with the finer points of bug collecting sportsmanship.)
Radu Matei: But I think I can trust you... and more importantly, if you were to take Cyril, I know you would COLLECT friends for him, right?
(The boy is still too shy to speak, but nods enthusiastically.)
Radu Matei: Friends are important. Sometimes you go at it alone for so long, it starts to feel normal - but being around others? Having another person's back? Nothing wrong with that. For a cicada, Cyril here is a bit of a social butterfly. He needs lots of a friends, and I know you'll be a good one for him. ...So I’m just going to leave this jar here, and if you think you can handle the responsibility, well, I know Cyril would appreciate it.
(Placing the jar on the ground, both because he doesn’t want to come across any more predatory than he already has, and because being within six feet of anyone is terrifying, Radu takes a few steps away.)
Radu Matei: Good luck with it.
(Deathless turns to leave.)
Boy: Uh, thanks mister.
(Not turning back, Radu Matei raises a hand in acknowledgement while walking towards the camera.)
Radu Matei: It’s just nice to see people who appreciate insects.
(The boy runs off to show the other children his catch. It sounds like general appreciation and happiness. Perhaps the boy is making new friends? A happy ending until they all get respiratory illnesses.)
Radu Matei: Poor Greg Adkins. All he wanted was a Dad...
(Deathless walks into a close-up, the kindness melting away from his scarred face.)
Radu Matei: Instead, he ended up with a REAL mother.
(“Shut your mouth!” But I’m talking about Ratty!)
Radu Matei: Has Rat cut a promo for All That Glitters yet? Yeah. I’m no psychologist, but that’s not going to help Greg’s abandonment issues.
(Deathless takes a beat to ponder the ramifications of the Bastards’ delayed reaction, then smiles faintly.)
Radu Matei: You have to admire the Bastard’s commitment to the deadbeat stepdad gimmick. Why I’m half expecting him to walk OUT of our match in the middle, telling Greg that he needs to pick up a litre of milk. Maybe he’ll bring it back with him at End of Days. That would be so beautifully heartbreaking, I might have to take a knee. With me at the concession stand grabbing Bastard merchandise for that ballsy play - then Greg only has to worry about my partner, and I’m sure after that finisher game plan jab, Anthony will take it easy on the kid.
(Yeah, maybe Greg was suicidal before the last attempt.)
Radu Matei: Parental supervision.
I know times are tough. COVID has made parenting into a full-time job. Oh sure, YouTube and Netflix might share joint custody, but people are spending a ton more time with their larva. Even with streaming platforms, you realistically should be checking what the little ones are watching. There is NO TELLING what kind of trouble they could be getting up to... just look at this interview.
<gesturing over his shoulder with a thumb> That kid back there? YEAH. Might be an actor. Perhaps I had his parent or legal guardian on the other side of the camera. Written consent to appear on the XHF Network? There are PROBABLY a ton of things making that little exchange a lot more legally appropriate than it looked... but how did it look?
See I’m Radu Matei – the longest reigning SWAT World Heavyweight Champion in the company’s decade plus history. The 2019 Helloween Cup winner. Other than a kink for the insect world, I’m generally a nice guy.
...But what if I was the Radu Matei, who after sacrificing his health to lend that world title credibility, now abuses painkillers just to lace his boots up?
WHAT if rather than being the Sacrificial Idol, I enjoyed Greg Adkins Breaking Bad number with the twenty-four hour peace pipe?
Scenario sounds a lot less friendly, right?
I mention this... because when it comes to the squared circle. The accomplishments that me and my tag team partner hold? You don’t get those without a killer instinct. We toy with opponents. We hunt prizes.
Even though we’re fan favourites, at the end of the day... we’re basically predators.
(Beat.)
Radu Matei: Run from me.
(Trying to get back into wrestling condition, Matei starts to move away from the playground area. Jogging just in front of him is the videographer; the camera shakes slightly, as the two head down a dirt path.)
Radu Matei: The Emperor and the Idol. Dangerous men.
So Ratty, even though you could care less about Greg, I need you to understand that even if you get your head back into the game, and start treating this match seriously at the last minute... the damage is done.
Surrogate uncle - or absentee "using a young guy to stay relevant" acquaintance - whatever your toxic kick is, you left the kid to his own devices, and he went wandering into the lion’s den. That DOESN’T end well.
Boy just lost his biological father? As if he didn’t have enough emotional scarring. Problem is, the way he was left to tangle with us from the outset, BY HIMSELF, I have a feeling the physical is inexplicably going to be worse.
(The Sacrificial Idol stops as he comes up to a shallow grave. Pools of water from yesterday’s rainfall have formed in small crevices throughout the recently turned dirt. Falling to his knees, Matei digs a cut up fist into largest of these pools.)
Radu Matei: Greg. Seventy-two hours. Your Dad is worm food.
That is the nicest thing I can say about anyone.
Turnabout is fair play.
...So after our match...
(Removing his hand from the puddle, Deathless holds up a fistful of night crawlers.)
Radu Matei: I’ll let THEM feed you.
(Rising to his feet, Matei pulls a baggie out of his tracksuit, safely storing them for Greg Adkins post-match protein shake.)
Radu Matei: This is me, XHF.
Might not work for you, but there is only one of me.
Up to this point, I have been a SWAT exclusive. It was important to strengthen our brand. I might not be the man I used to be, but I’d like to think I still have what it takes. Caffrey has taunted me into trying my luck against the best and the brightest that Syndicate’s sister federations have to offer.
Despite Greg focusing on over-the-top cries for attention, and Rat Bastard losing his smile along with his chance to triple up the X-Crown at Night of Champions, I am looking forwards to the challenge that those two men put up.
See, me and Caffrey – we haven’t teamed before. We have big personalities, so if we can get on the same page, it should be a hell of a time – but at this point, we’ll be learning each other’s strengths, weaknesses, and how we work together. That is a pretty big disadvantage. It might not be DEAD FATHER big... but it doesn’t sound like he was much of a father anyway. No. We are definitely the underdogs going into this.
Our opponents included a TWO TIME X-Crown champion, and the genetic continuation of Troy Adkins. This is going to be good. As far as I’m concerned, this could be a preview of the End of Days TAG finals. It certainly will be a testament to why the TAG TOURNAMENT and NOT the SINGLES - will be the highlight of End of Days.
(Pulse slowing, Radu begins to run again, with the videographer barely keeping up.)
Radu Matei: When you factor in Greg’s Dad dying, well, I’m as shocked as anyone to be saying this, but the FEEL GOOD ENDING is Greg and Rat winning. Best-case scenario for EVERYONE involved.
There’s only one problem.
Their opponents are SCARY fucking good.
(As Deathless picks up the pace, the camera gets left farther and father behind.)
Radu Matei: So since I don’t lose, I would like to DEDICATE OUR MATCH to the memory of Troy Adkins.
(Burn.)
Radu Matei: Greg can do that too, if he wants to copy me. I know in mocking his pain, I'm the closest thing Greg has to a positive male role model. One day at a time, kid.
(Reaching down, Deathless turns the volume back up on his phone. Kool is asking: How you like me now? Collecting his ear buds, Matei puts them back in place…)
Radu Matei: XHF. Looking forward to running with you.
(With that The Sacrificial Idol starts to move again.)
(Tripping on a branch, the videographer goes tumbling forwards. The image finally comes to a rest on the ground, as Matei’s grotesque yellow disappears into a wall of green.)
(After a few moments of the serene woods, a large millipede crawls onto the lens. As it inspects the glass, the image fades to black.)
(In the middle of a public park, rusts a jungle gym.)
(Yellow caution tape warns children that any attempt to exercise will displease authority figures. At least that is what the parents reiterate while dodging the hundred questions about why the slide is out of service. The kids don’t even like the slide; they’re far more interested in wrapping that yellow tape around other things. You could make a cool fort out of a mailbox. One of the boys wonders if the “C” word is the only one that the tape comes in – their fort would look a lot cooler if it read “Awesome.” The lankiest of the group insists that alternative phrases are not only available, but his cousin who lives in another state got one that said, “Boobs.” The children’s eyes dart about, searching for adult ears that might not take kindly to their naughty subject matter. Nope, the parents are too busy with their smart phones. One right swipe away from escaping loveless marriages. The conversation moves on to the subject of knickers. Which the kids agree is their favourite candy bar.)
(Away from this social gathering, a slightly smaller boy moves farther away from this COVID playground towards some elm trees. At the beginning of the pandemic, a few of the other children’s mothers had attempted to arrange play dates, but rational heads prevailed. It kind of set the tone for a very lonely summer. Now the trash has bonded, and as the odd boy out, its up to this child to entertain himself.)
(The camera zooms in on the object of the boy’s affection, a large blue cicada.)
(Palms sweaty with anticipation, the boy grips a small net, ready to spring at the bug.)
(The lunge!)
(YES!)
(Grasping the net shut with one hand, the boy pokes through it with his index finger looking for his prize...)
(No.)
(It got away.)
(The other children laugh; having decided that the concept of poop breath is the funniest expression ever. PAW Patrol has been replaced in their tiny hearts.)
(Looking down at the ground, the boy feels the high-pitched chuckles are aimed at his recent failure.)
Kool Moe Dee: WHO’S YOUR DADDY?
(The boy looks up startled.)
(Deathless is decked out in a loud, yellow tracksuit. It is safe to say that it was the early 90s when Radu Matei decided what kind of Euro Trash he was going to grow up to be. The sounds of Kool Moe Dee giving it to LL Cool J burst from the SWAT Legend’s ear buds. Tapping away at the side of his phone, Matei brings the volume down to a less aggressive level.)
Radu Matei: Get it?
(The child shakes his head.)
Radu Matei: Well, that’s half the fun. Keep at it. It’ll pay off eventually. Those brood nine cicadas don’t come out that often, so this is YOUR summer.
(The thought of this being his only chance, just heightens the boy’s anxiety.)
(Sensing the growing frustration, Matei removes a small jar from his pocket. In it is an electric blue cicada twice the size of the one the child was hunting for.)
Radu Matei: Now, I found this guy on the other end of the park. His name is Cyril, by the way. Problem is, I’m on the road so often, that I don’t think I can give Cyril a proper home. I know it’s a COLLECTION so you have to catch the bugs yourself...
(From the excitement on his face, it doesn’t look like the boy is that concerned with the finer points of bug collecting sportsmanship.)
Radu Matei: But I think I can trust you... and more importantly, if you were to take Cyril, I know you would COLLECT friends for him, right?
(The boy is still too shy to speak, but nods enthusiastically.)
Radu Matei: Friends are important. Sometimes you go at it alone for so long, it starts to feel normal - but being around others? Having another person's back? Nothing wrong with that. For a cicada, Cyril here is a bit of a social butterfly. He needs lots of a friends, and I know you'll be a good one for him. ...So I’m just going to leave this jar here, and if you think you can handle the responsibility, well, I know Cyril would appreciate it.
(Placing the jar on the ground, both because he doesn’t want to come across any more predatory than he already has, and because being within six feet of anyone is terrifying, Radu takes a few steps away.)
Radu Matei: Good luck with it.
(Deathless turns to leave.)
Boy: Uh, thanks mister.
(Not turning back, Radu Matei raises a hand in acknowledgement while walking towards the camera.)
Radu Matei: It’s just nice to see people who appreciate insects.
(The boy runs off to show the other children his catch. It sounds like general appreciation and happiness. Perhaps the boy is making new friends? A happy ending until they all get respiratory illnesses.)
Radu Matei: Poor Greg Adkins. All he wanted was a Dad...
(Deathless walks into a close-up, the kindness melting away from his scarred face.)
Radu Matei: Instead, he ended up with a REAL mother.
(“Shut your mouth!” But I’m talking about Ratty!)
Radu Matei: Has Rat cut a promo for All That Glitters yet? Yeah. I’m no psychologist, but that’s not going to help Greg’s abandonment issues.
(Deathless takes a beat to ponder the ramifications of the Bastards’ delayed reaction, then smiles faintly.)
Radu Matei: You have to admire the Bastard’s commitment to the deadbeat stepdad gimmick. Why I’m half expecting him to walk OUT of our match in the middle, telling Greg that he needs to pick up a litre of milk. Maybe he’ll bring it back with him at End of Days. That would be so beautifully heartbreaking, I might have to take a knee. With me at the concession stand grabbing Bastard merchandise for that ballsy play - then Greg only has to worry about my partner, and I’m sure after that finisher game plan jab, Anthony will take it easy on the kid.
(Yeah, maybe Greg was suicidal before the last attempt.)
Radu Matei: Parental supervision.
I know times are tough. COVID has made parenting into a full-time job. Oh sure, YouTube and Netflix might share joint custody, but people are spending a ton more time with their larva. Even with streaming platforms, you realistically should be checking what the little ones are watching. There is NO TELLING what kind of trouble they could be getting up to... just look at this interview.
<gesturing over his shoulder with a thumb> That kid back there? YEAH. Might be an actor. Perhaps I had his parent or legal guardian on the other side of the camera. Written consent to appear on the XHF Network? There are PROBABLY a ton of things making that little exchange a lot more legally appropriate than it looked... but how did it look?
See I’m Radu Matei – the longest reigning SWAT World Heavyweight Champion in the company’s decade plus history. The 2019 Helloween Cup winner. Other than a kink for the insect world, I’m generally a nice guy.
...But what if I was the Radu Matei, who after sacrificing his health to lend that world title credibility, now abuses painkillers just to lace his boots up?
WHAT if rather than being the Sacrificial Idol, I enjoyed Greg Adkins Breaking Bad number with the twenty-four hour peace pipe?
Scenario sounds a lot less friendly, right?
I mention this... because when it comes to the squared circle. The accomplishments that me and my tag team partner hold? You don’t get those without a killer instinct. We toy with opponents. We hunt prizes.
Even though we’re fan favourites, at the end of the day... we’re basically predators.
(Beat.)
Radu Matei: Run from me.
(Trying to get back into wrestling condition, Matei starts to move away from the playground area. Jogging just in front of him is the videographer; the camera shakes slightly, as the two head down a dirt path.)
Radu Matei: The Emperor and the Idol. Dangerous men.
So Ratty, even though you could care less about Greg, I need you to understand that even if you get your head back into the game, and start treating this match seriously at the last minute... the damage is done.
Surrogate uncle - or absentee "using a young guy to stay relevant" acquaintance - whatever your toxic kick is, you left the kid to his own devices, and he went wandering into the lion’s den. That DOESN’T end well.
Boy just lost his biological father? As if he didn’t have enough emotional scarring. Problem is, the way he was left to tangle with us from the outset, BY HIMSELF, I have a feeling the physical is inexplicably going to be worse.
(The Sacrificial Idol stops as he comes up to a shallow grave. Pools of water from yesterday’s rainfall have formed in small crevices throughout the recently turned dirt. Falling to his knees, Matei digs a cut up fist into largest of these pools.)
Radu Matei: Greg. Seventy-two hours. Your Dad is worm food.
That is the nicest thing I can say about anyone.
Turnabout is fair play.
...So after our match...
(Removing his hand from the puddle, Deathless holds up a fistful of night crawlers.)
Radu Matei: I’ll let THEM feed you.
(Rising to his feet, Matei pulls a baggie out of his tracksuit, safely storing them for Greg Adkins post-match protein shake.)
Radu Matei: This is me, XHF.
Might not work for you, but there is only one of me.
Up to this point, I have been a SWAT exclusive. It was important to strengthen our brand. I might not be the man I used to be, but I’d like to think I still have what it takes. Caffrey has taunted me into trying my luck against the best and the brightest that Syndicate’s sister federations have to offer.
Despite Greg focusing on over-the-top cries for attention, and Rat Bastard losing his smile along with his chance to triple up the X-Crown at Night of Champions, I am looking forwards to the challenge that those two men put up.
See, me and Caffrey – we haven’t teamed before. We have big personalities, so if we can get on the same page, it should be a hell of a time – but at this point, we’ll be learning each other’s strengths, weaknesses, and how we work together. That is a pretty big disadvantage. It might not be DEAD FATHER big... but it doesn’t sound like he was much of a father anyway. No. We are definitely the underdogs going into this.
Our opponents included a TWO TIME X-Crown champion, and the genetic continuation of Troy Adkins. This is going to be good. As far as I’m concerned, this could be a preview of the End of Days TAG finals. It certainly will be a testament to why the TAG TOURNAMENT and NOT the SINGLES - will be the highlight of End of Days.
(Pulse slowing, Radu begins to run again, with the videographer barely keeping up.)
Radu Matei: When you factor in Greg’s Dad dying, well, I’m as shocked as anyone to be saying this, but the FEEL GOOD ENDING is Greg and Rat winning. Best-case scenario for EVERYONE involved.
There’s only one problem.
Their opponents are SCARY fucking good.
(As Deathless picks up the pace, the camera gets left farther and father behind.)
Radu Matei: So since I don’t lose, I would like to DEDICATE OUR MATCH to the memory of Troy Adkins.
(Burn.)
Radu Matei: Greg can do that too, if he wants to copy me. I know in mocking his pain, I'm the closest thing Greg has to a positive male role model. One day at a time, kid.
(Reaching down, Deathless turns the volume back up on his phone. Kool is asking: How you like me now? Collecting his ear buds, Matei puts them back in place…)
Radu Matei: XHF. Looking forward to running with you.
(With that The Sacrificial Idol starts to move again.)
(Tripping on a branch, the videographer goes tumbling forwards. The image finally comes to a rest on the ground, as Matei’s grotesque yellow disappears into a wall of green.)
(After a few moments of the serene woods, a large millipede crawls onto the lens. As it inspects the glass, the image fades to black.)