Post by mosler on Apr 24, 2023 19:16:06 GMT -5
[The camera zooms in a model of a house as happy music plays.]
[On the front porch the Devil of SWAT is sitting in a swing, smiling and rising as he's greeted by a man in a red sweater holding a snakeskin suit.]
Mr. Rogers: Mister Broomer.
Geoffrey: Nice to see you Mister Rogers.
Mr. Rogers: I'm so glad to see you. I'd like you to know my television friends...
[Turning with the snakeskin suit on his arm, Mr. Rogers points points at the camera, with both men turning to it with a smile.]
Geoffrey: How do you do.
Mr. Rogers: This is Geoffrey. <turning with the suit> Elsie Neal--
Geoffrey <taking the costume>: Shall I take that?
Mr. Rogers: Gave these to us-
Geoffrey: Oh, how nice of her.
Mr. Rogers <opening the door>: Won't you come in?
Geoffrey <collecting his stuff>: Yes, thank you, I'd love to.
[The camera cuts to the interior as the two enter into the house.]
Mr. Rogers: That's a familiar costume for you isn't it?
Geoffrey: Yes it is... <chuckle>
Mr. Rogers <directing where to put down the snakeskin costume, then indicating towards the living room>: Before we try this on, I'd just like to talk to you for awhile.
Geoffrey: Alright. It would be lovely to talk to you.
[The two cross to the living room, taking a seat on the couch. In the background, Spike Nelson is playing with puppets in the background. King Friday is eating Mr. T cereal.]
Mr. Rogers <sitting down>: I'm interested to know how you felt playing that king of snakes in professional wrestling.
Geoffrey: Well I really was very thrilled to... uh... I, I, had done it very often, well, not that one, but I had played A snake when I was a little boy for halloween. That was the thing I always wanted to dress up as. <looking in camera> Like lots of children would rather be a snake than anything else. There's lots of other things you can pick out. But that's the one I loved, so when I had the chance to do this, I was very, very happy about it.
[Spike Nelson looks up from the land of make belief, hardly believing his ears. What is this kayfabe breaking nonsense, is his grandfather off his pills again?!]
Mr. Rogers: Well boys AND girls like to play snakes, don't they...
Geoffrey: Yes, yes they do, Yes, they certainly do.
Mr. Rogers: And when you feel like you want to play something a little bit scary, <smile> a snake is a fine thing to play.
Geoffrey: Yes. There are lots of things about him... sometimes I feel the children that he is a very mean snake. And I expect he does seem that way. But I always think - there are two things about him - he does ENJOY everything that he does. Whether its good or bad, he enjoys it. But he's also what we sometimes refer to as FRUSTRATED. He's very unhappy because he never gets what he wants. Mr. Rogers, you know most of us get something that we want - but as far as we know that snake has never gotten what he wanted. ...And maybe he wanted those ruby slippers.
[Are the ruby slippers a metaphor for the respect of his peers? If they were actual ruby slippers, then Spike regrets buying him that DVD set of the A-Team season 4. Spike knew he was just buying himself a gift at the time, but thought his grandpa would like it. Shoes. Who knew?]
Geoffrey: Because they're lots of power - and he wanted more power. I just think, that sometimes we think Vile is just mean, a very bad person, but actually you have to think about his point of view. That it wasn't as happy a time as he wanted it to be, because he just never got what he wanted.
Mr. Rogers: Did you have - it was hard work maintaining that character.
Geoffrey: Yes. Yes it was. It was lots of hard work. Sometimes people will say: "Wasn't it fun? It must have been fun to make it!" ...well it was fun, but it was lots and lots of hard work - just as you say - and sometimes uncomfortable. Because you had to be very careful about your costume, and you had to do various things... when I ate my lunch I had to be careful, because my hands were chalk white... and claws. In the middle of the day, when we would have a luncheon, I had to have a little girl who would break my bread for me, or sandwich, or whatever I was having, and sort of give it to me in little small portions. Because it was very difficult for me to wash my hands, because all the powder, scales, and claws would come off...
Mr. Rogers: Because that was make-up...
Geoffrey: Yes. That was just all make-up. <pointing> And the face too, you see.
[Spike Nelson looks like he's going to be sick. Has it all been a lie?!]
Geoffrey: And uh, uh, so they didn't want to have to do that all over again. So I would be very careful about every, because if I touched my snakeskin suit - it was colour - and the white would come off on the black suit - and that wouldn't look very well. So I had to be very careful. So there were things like that about it that were difficult, but there were times when it was great fun, and we enjoyed doing it, but it was really hard work.
Mr. Rogers: I can imagine.
Geoffrey: Um hm.
Mr. Rogers: When you were a little boy, you say you liked to get dressed up at halloween, like the snake. Do you like to play other parts?
Geoffrey: Yes. Lots and lots of other parts. And I think - that was fun, and we knew we were doing it for children, which is fun, but sometimes - Mr. Rogers - I'm a little bit unhappy, because lots of children are quite scared by him, and that always makes me a little sad. Because I don't think that any of us thought, you know, that it would be as scary as sometimes it seems to be. But when you understand him, and you realize that its just pretend... and that everybody can do it <turning to camera> you can do it. <turning back to Rogers> And little girls as you say can do it, and little boys do it, and sometimes when you get older you play - at halloween time. You know, dress up as something else - masquerade party...
Mr. Rogers: Sure. <turning to camera> And all snakes don't have to be bad, either...
Geoffrey: No. Sometimes they're beautiful - there was a very nice snake - Beelz - but in a way he had powers, and he could do things that other people can't do. But in his own way he was beautiful. Remember him covered in red? So pretty.
Mr. Rogers: Would you try on, a suit like the one you had on---
Geoffrey <broad smile>: Yes.
Mr. Rogers: To show us.
Geoffrey <rising>: Yes, I'd love to. I think that would be fun.
[Gentle music cues up, as the two exit the living room back to the area with the suit. From his inpenitrible fortress in make believe land, Spike Nelson is slowly digesting his grandfather's uncharacteristically pleasant demeanour.]
Mr. Rogers <picking up jacket>: Now we've seen the coat, but Elsie told me that a number of pieces of the costume were in here...
[Mr. Rogers opens up a case, a blinding light shoots out of it - not unlike Repo Man.... or Raiders. You could just melt.]
Geoffrey: Oh my.
[Rogers holds up a black snakeskin tie.]
Geoffrey: How nice. Yes.
[Geoffrey starts to put on the snakeskin outfit over his casual cloths, confirming Spike's worst fears - that this is in fact his grandfather, and not just one of the piss poor imitations of him... like Beelzebozo.]
Mr. Rogers: How would you put that- oh you just put it around.
Geoffrey: And look here...
[Geoffrey opens up his sleeve, revealing a trick pocket with a knife in it.]
Geoffrey: It even has pockets. Even snakes need some place to put things.
Mr. Rogers: Its helping me just to see you get into these things.
Geoffrey: Well I'm glad.
Mr. Rogers: To know that you're a real man who got dressed up - to play this part.
[More mysterious music cues as more layers of snakeskin accessories are added to the scarlet serpent's ensemble. Geoffrey turns around as Rogers assists him with the wardrobe.]
Mr. Rogers: Just turn around and I'll show my friends that this is a real zipper over here. Just like the zipper on my sweaters. There it goes - there.
[Geoffrey turns around decked out as the king of snakes.]
Mr. Rogers: That looks great.
Geoffrey: You know, its just like a halloween costume too, isn't it?
Mr. Rogers: It really is.
Geoffrey: And there's the cape...
[Geoffrey wraps himself in the snakeskin cape.]
Geoffrey: Sometimes I wear the cape like this, and slither around - and sometimes I don't wear the cape at all.
[You have a hard time remembering the last time TripleV wore a cape, but he has been around forever - you're sure this particularly flamboyant part of his costume wasn't just added for the sake of accurately transcribing a thirty-year-old television segment. Spike remembers the cape.]
Geoffrey <holding the cape for an extended amount of time>: Will you take the cape <remembering that losing his cool with beloved children's icon is counter productive to the message of this segment> Mr. Rogers? Thank you. <turning to camera> And now the fangs...
[Geoffrey picks up a false set of fangs.]
Geoffrey: Now let's see...
[Spike has no doubts left.]
Vile "Vince" Viper: THERE. There's your old friend, <infamous sneer> Vile Viper.
[Spike has been lied to his whole life.]
Mr. Rogers: How did he talk?
Vile "Vince" Viper <pearly yellows>: Well... he talked like thissss... I'll kick your teeth down your throat <bleep> <bleep> <bleep> and your mother <bleep> goofy <bleep> <bleep>er. <wicked witch cackle>
Mr. Rogers <big smile>: Oh it would be fun to talk like that. <impersonates lisping hissing>
Geoffrey <nodding>: You can. They all can. You can do it too. Ha ha.
[The two sit down on the bench. Spike is shaking with rage.]
Mr. Rogers: Sure. Oh, that just was wonderful. It really helps me to understand. You have grandchildren, don't you?
Geoffrey: Yes I have.
[Spike points indicates to King Friday that they're finally going to start talking about him.]
Geoffrey: I have three. I have a grandchild named Christopher. And he's nine. And I have a grandchild named Scott. And he is seven.
[Spike didn't know about his large family. But that's his grandpa - a real lothario! Plus, saving the best for last...]
Geoffrey: And I have a little girl grandchild...
[WHAT?!]
Geoffrey: Who is called Margie...
[Spike Nelson does the math in his head. He said three right. WHAT ABOUT SPIKE!?]
Geoffrey: Who is three and a half.
Mr. Rogers <Putting a hand on Geoffrey's shoulder>: They're lucky to have a grandfather who understands children so well as you.
Geoffrey: Well, I'm very lucky to have them too Mr. Rogers.
Mr. Rogers: I know. You know Elsie Neal is expecting you at her place. And I was wondering if I could bring this case just a little later... and we can meet there.
Geoffrey: Alright, then I'll go just as I am.
Mr. Rogers: Oh you will.
Geoffrey: Is that alright?
Mr. Rogers: That will be fine for the neighborhood.
Geoffrey: That'll be fun.
Mr. Rogers <handing over a smaller bag>: Can I give you this?
Geoffrey: All right, thank you.
Mr. Rogers: Thank you for coming.
Geoffrey: Well it has been lovely to visit with you. Thank you for having me.
Mr. Rogers: I'll see you a little later over there.
Geoffrey: Alright.
[Geoffrey starts to exit through the door.]
Geoffrey: There I am.
Mr. Rogers: Bye bye.
Geoffrey: Good Bye.
[Happy music cue. Mr. Rogers turns back to his house, having seen out Vile "Vince" Viper.]
Mr. Rogers: Mister Broomer.
[Breaking kayfabe for the first time, and realizing the man he thought was his grandfather might not be related, or a lizard man, or the devil, or even named Vile - Spike Nelson charges out after the not so old man.]
Geoffrey: Spike my boy, did you have fun----ack.
#CRASH#
Spike Nelson: GRANDPA! IS VIPER EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!
Geoffrey: Spike, I - cough - I - cough - I can explain...
Spike Nelson: I THOUGHT WE WERE ROMANIAN!
[Geoffrey starts turning a horrible shade of purple. He wasn't really an albino either! Livid, his fellow Anzac Cup winner and HARDKORE FRANK finalist tightens his grip. Crew try to drag Simply Amazing off the RSPWF 2006 wrestler of the year, but they aren't used to real physical violence.]
[The man who would be the king of snakes starts to black out...]
[On the front porch the Devil of SWAT is sitting in a swing, smiling and rising as he's greeted by a man in a red sweater holding a snakeskin suit.]
Mr. Rogers: Mister Broomer.
Geoffrey: Nice to see you Mister Rogers.
Mr. Rogers: I'm so glad to see you. I'd like you to know my television friends...
[Turning with the snakeskin suit on his arm, Mr. Rogers points points at the camera, with both men turning to it with a smile.]
Geoffrey: How do you do.
Mr. Rogers: This is Geoffrey. <turning with the suit> Elsie Neal--
Geoffrey <taking the costume>: Shall I take that?
Mr. Rogers: Gave these to us-
Geoffrey: Oh, how nice of her.
Mr. Rogers <opening the door>: Won't you come in?
Geoffrey <collecting his stuff>: Yes, thank you, I'd love to.
[The camera cuts to the interior as the two enter into the house.]
Mr. Rogers: That's a familiar costume for you isn't it?
Geoffrey: Yes it is... <chuckle>
Mr. Rogers <directing where to put down the snakeskin costume, then indicating towards the living room>: Before we try this on, I'd just like to talk to you for awhile.
Geoffrey: Alright. It would be lovely to talk to you.
[The two cross to the living room, taking a seat on the couch. In the background, Spike Nelson is playing with puppets in the background. King Friday is eating Mr. T cereal.]
Mr. Rogers <sitting down>: I'm interested to know how you felt playing that king of snakes in professional wrestling.
Geoffrey: Well I really was very thrilled to... uh... I, I, had done it very often, well, not that one, but I had played A snake when I was a little boy for halloween. That was the thing I always wanted to dress up as. <looking in camera> Like lots of children would rather be a snake than anything else. There's lots of other things you can pick out. But that's the one I loved, so when I had the chance to do this, I was very, very happy about it.
[Spike Nelson looks up from the land of make belief, hardly believing his ears. What is this kayfabe breaking nonsense, is his grandfather off his pills again?!]
Mr. Rogers: Well boys AND girls like to play snakes, don't they...
Geoffrey: Yes, yes they do, Yes, they certainly do.
Mr. Rogers: And when you feel like you want to play something a little bit scary, <smile> a snake is a fine thing to play.
Geoffrey: Yes. There are lots of things about him... sometimes I feel the children that he is a very mean snake. And I expect he does seem that way. But I always think - there are two things about him - he does ENJOY everything that he does. Whether its good or bad, he enjoys it. But he's also what we sometimes refer to as FRUSTRATED. He's very unhappy because he never gets what he wants. Mr. Rogers, you know most of us get something that we want - but as far as we know that snake has never gotten what he wanted. ...And maybe he wanted those ruby slippers.
[Are the ruby slippers a metaphor for the respect of his peers? If they were actual ruby slippers, then Spike regrets buying him that DVD set of the A-Team season 4. Spike knew he was just buying himself a gift at the time, but thought his grandpa would like it. Shoes. Who knew?]
Geoffrey: Because they're lots of power - and he wanted more power. I just think, that sometimes we think Vile is just mean, a very bad person, but actually you have to think about his point of view. That it wasn't as happy a time as he wanted it to be, because he just never got what he wanted.
Mr. Rogers: Did you have - it was hard work maintaining that character.
Geoffrey: Yes. Yes it was. It was lots of hard work. Sometimes people will say: "Wasn't it fun? It must have been fun to make it!" ...well it was fun, but it was lots and lots of hard work - just as you say - and sometimes uncomfortable. Because you had to be very careful about your costume, and you had to do various things... when I ate my lunch I had to be careful, because my hands were chalk white... and claws. In the middle of the day, when we would have a luncheon, I had to have a little girl who would break my bread for me, or sandwich, or whatever I was having, and sort of give it to me in little small portions. Because it was very difficult for me to wash my hands, because all the powder, scales, and claws would come off...
Mr. Rogers: Because that was make-up...
Geoffrey: Yes. That was just all make-up. <pointing> And the face too, you see.
[Spike Nelson looks like he's going to be sick. Has it all been a lie?!]
Geoffrey: And uh, uh, so they didn't want to have to do that all over again. So I would be very careful about every, because if I touched my snakeskin suit - it was colour - and the white would come off on the black suit - and that wouldn't look very well. So I had to be very careful. So there were things like that about it that were difficult, but there were times when it was great fun, and we enjoyed doing it, but it was really hard work.
Mr. Rogers: I can imagine.
Geoffrey: Um hm.
Mr. Rogers: When you were a little boy, you say you liked to get dressed up at halloween, like the snake. Do you like to play other parts?
Geoffrey: Yes. Lots and lots of other parts. And I think - that was fun, and we knew we were doing it for children, which is fun, but sometimes - Mr. Rogers - I'm a little bit unhappy, because lots of children are quite scared by him, and that always makes me a little sad. Because I don't think that any of us thought, you know, that it would be as scary as sometimes it seems to be. But when you understand him, and you realize that its just pretend... and that everybody can do it <turning to camera> you can do it. <turning back to Rogers> And little girls as you say can do it, and little boys do it, and sometimes when you get older you play - at halloween time. You know, dress up as something else - masquerade party...
Mr. Rogers: Sure. <turning to camera> And all snakes don't have to be bad, either...
Geoffrey: No. Sometimes they're beautiful - there was a very nice snake - Beelz - but in a way he had powers, and he could do things that other people can't do. But in his own way he was beautiful. Remember him covered in red? So pretty.
Mr. Rogers: Would you try on, a suit like the one you had on---
Geoffrey <broad smile>: Yes.
Mr. Rogers: To show us.
Geoffrey <rising>: Yes, I'd love to. I think that would be fun.
[Gentle music cues up, as the two exit the living room back to the area with the suit. From his inpenitrible fortress in make believe land, Spike Nelson is slowly digesting his grandfather's uncharacteristically pleasant demeanour.]
Mr. Rogers <picking up jacket>: Now we've seen the coat, but Elsie told me that a number of pieces of the costume were in here...
[Mr. Rogers opens up a case, a blinding light shoots out of it - not unlike Repo Man.... or Raiders. You could just melt.]
Geoffrey: Oh my.
[Rogers holds up a black snakeskin tie.]
Geoffrey: How nice. Yes.
[Geoffrey starts to put on the snakeskin outfit over his casual cloths, confirming Spike's worst fears - that this is in fact his grandfather, and not just one of the piss poor imitations of him... like Beelzebozo.]
Mr. Rogers: How would you put that- oh you just put it around.
Geoffrey: And look here...
[Geoffrey opens up his sleeve, revealing a trick pocket with a knife in it.]
Geoffrey: It even has pockets. Even snakes need some place to put things.
Mr. Rogers: Its helping me just to see you get into these things.
Geoffrey: Well I'm glad.
Mr. Rogers: To know that you're a real man who got dressed up - to play this part.
[More mysterious music cues as more layers of snakeskin accessories are added to the scarlet serpent's ensemble. Geoffrey turns around as Rogers assists him with the wardrobe.]
Mr. Rogers: Just turn around and I'll show my friends that this is a real zipper over here. Just like the zipper on my sweaters. There it goes - there.
[Geoffrey turns around decked out as the king of snakes.]
Mr. Rogers: That looks great.
Geoffrey: You know, its just like a halloween costume too, isn't it?
Mr. Rogers: It really is.
Geoffrey: And there's the cape...
[Geoffrey wraps himself in the snakeskin cape.]
Geoffrey: Sometimes I wear the cape like this, and slither around - and sometimes I don't wear the cape at all.
[You have a hard time remembering the last time TripleV wore a cape, but he has been around forever - you're sure this particularly flamboyant part of his costume wasn't just added for the sake of accurately transcribing a thirty-year-old television segment. Spike remembers the cape.]
Geoffrey <holding the cape for an extended amount of time>: Will you take the cape <remembering that losing his cool with beloved children's icon is counter productive to the message of this segment> Mr. Rogers? Thank you. <turning to camera> And now the fangs...
[Geoffrey picks up a false set of fangs.]
Geoffrey: Now let's see...
[Spike has no doubts left.]
Vile "Vince" Viper: THERE. There's your old friend, <infamous sneer> Vile Viper.
[Spike has been lied to his whole life.]
Mr. Rogers: How did he talk?
Vile "Vince" Viper <pearly yellows>: Well... he talked like thissss... I'll kick your teeth down your throat <bleep> <bleep> <bleep> and your mother <bleep> goofy <bleep> <bleep>er. <wicked witch cackle>
Mr. Rogers <big smile>: Oh it would be fun to talk like that. <impersonates lisping hissing>
Geoffrey <nodding>: You can. They all can. You can do it too. Ha ha.
[The two sit down on the bench. Spike is shaking with rage.]
Mr. Rogers: Sure. Oh, that just was wonderful. It really helps me to understand. You have grandchildren, don't you?
Geoffrey: Yes I have.
[Spike points indicates to King Friday that they're finally going to start talking about him.]
Geoffrey: I have three. I have a grandchild named Christopher. And he's nine. And I have a grandchild named Scott. And he is seven.
[Spike didn't know about his large family. But that's his grandpa - a real lothario! Plus, saving the best for last...]
Geoffrey: And I have a little girl grandchild...
[WHAT?!]
Geoffrey: Who is called Margie...
[Spike Nelson does the math in his head. He said three right. WHAT ABOUT SPIKE!?]
Geoffrey: Who is three and a half.
Mr. Rogers <Putting a hand on Geoffrey's shoulder>: They're lucky to have a grandfather who understands children so well as you.
Geoffrey: Well, I'm very lucky to have them too Mr. Rogers.
Mr. Rogers: I know. You know Elsie Neal is expecting you at her place. And I was wondering if I could bring this case just a little later... and we can meet there.
Geoffrey: Alright, then I'll go just as I am.
Mr. Rogers: Oh you will.
Geoffrey: Is that alright?
Mr. Rogers: That will be fine for the neighborhood.
Geoffrey: That'll be fun.
Mr. Rogers <handing over a smaller bag>: Can I give you this?
Geoffrey: All right, thank you.
Mr. Rogers: Thank you for coming.
Geoffrey: Well it has been lovely to visit with you. Thank you for having me.
Mr. Rogers: I'll see you a little later over there.
Geoffrey: Alright.
[Geoffrey starts to exit through the door.]
Geoffrey: There I am.
Mr. Rogers: Bye bye.
Geoffrey: Good Bye.
[Happy music cue. Mr. Rogers turns back to his house, having seen out Vile "Vince" Viper.]
Mr. Rogers: Mister Broomer.
[Breaking kayfabe for the first time, and realizing the man he thought was his grandfather might not be related, or a lizard man, or the devil, or even named Vile - Spike Nelson charges out after the not so old man.]
Geoffrey: Spike my boy, did you have fun----ack.
#CRASH#
Spike Nelson: GRANDPA! IS VIPER EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!
Geoffrey: Spike, I - cough - I - cough - I can explain...
Spike Nelson: I THOUGHT WE WERE ROMANIAN!
[Geoffrey starts turning a horrible shade of purple. He wasn't really an albino either! Livid, his fellow Anzac Cup winner and HARDKORE FRANK finalist tightens his grip. Crew try to drag Simply Amazing off the RSPWF 2006 wrestler of the year, but they aren't used to real physical violence.]
[The man who would be the king of snakes starts to black out...]