Respect(aka getting it in while Mav’s busy with the rumble!
Apr 27, 2023 2:27:27 GMT -5
Kira Izumi, Cross Recoba, and 2 more like this
Post by Steve Awesome on Apr 27, 2023 2:27:27 GMT -5
The scene fades in as Steve Awesome watches a news feed on the television screen in his hotel room. A news reporter goes over the story.
“And just like that, The Toddlerian threat we never knew existed has been destroyed all thanks to the cause of and solution; Steve Awesome.”
The reporter is handed a small sheet of paper.
“This just in, Steve Awesome wets the bed. More on this at eleven!”
Steve quickly turns the television off and sighs. That was gonna be a P.R. nightmare. But before he had time to deal with it, he noticed Marty Donovan rolling back and forth on his mobility scooter arguing with somebody on his cell phone.
“What do you mean you are backing out of the sandwich deal!? My team worked hard to create a sandwich that was worthy of the name “Disney’s Marty Donovan Presents “The Marty with Havarti”
Marty stops and his jaw drops in shock!
“What do you mean, you only make sandwiches with winners!? Hello? Hello!?”
Marty looks at his phone screen.
“They hung up.”
Marty carefully gets off his scooter and slumps into a nearby chair, depressed. Steve comes over and tries to cheer up his friend.
“Tough break man. First you lose your world title to Cross Recoba and now you lose a sandwich deal. Man….”
Steve puts his hand on Marty’s shoulder to attempt to comfort him.
“…You are one pathetic loser…”
Steve holds up a finger.
“No offense.”
Marty just shakes his head.
“C‘Mon man you lost your belt too.”
Steve glares at him and crosses his arms.
“This is not a time for you to be pointing fingers, Marty. Besides, I actually have a rematch for the HardKore Championship of the World. Because good old J-Rok has a rematch policy in place. Every beat down former champ looking to reclaim his glory, like moi, can have his chance at redemption against the cocky flash in the pan new champion that everyone wants to see defeated, like Jason Long.”
Marty nods his head and points.
“Ah yup. I’ve heard of this. It’s the rematch clause loop.”
Steve tilts his head.
“Huh?”
“Okay, so say you go into Bad Company, you survive the Taipei Deathmatch and you beat Jason Long…”
“You damn right I’m going to beat Jason Long. Im going to beat to Taipei Death!”
Marty nods.
“Right. So you become the new HardKore Champion of the world. What’s to stop Jason Long from cashing in his rematch? Then what if he beats you? Then YOU cash in YOUR rematch and you win and it just keeps happening and happening and you and Long fight for all eternity.”
Steve glares at Marty. But then he really gets it and his eyes go wide in shock.
“Oh my god. Kira you devious bastard! You will not catch me in an infinite rematch time loop!”
Steve says as he shakes his fist toward the heavens. This time Marty attempts to calm Steve down.
“Listen man, it doesn’t have to be this way. I’ll tell you what, Steve, as the newest member of my group The Anointed, I got your back in Japan.”
“Really?”
Marty nods.
“Absolutely. That’s what friends do for each other. Besides, that jerk beat me in Tapout so I’m down to get some revenge on that poor unfortunate soul!”
Marty smiles and holds out a fist bump. Steve gives him a dap right back and nods his head.
“Well that works for me then. Together we can make sure Jason Long loses the title, and never makes it back to ever even have a rematch. And we can make sure that he suffers a very painful and intense, but culturally accurate and tasteful Taipei Death in the main event of the evening.”
Steve rubs his hands together as he thinks about his evil intentions. Marty glances at his phone.
“Hey what’s this about you wetting the bed?”
Steve just sighs and shakes his head not allowing Marty to bring him down while he’s excited about his evil plan.
“Not now Marty…”
STEVE AWESOME
FACE OF THE FRANCHISE
*clap*
*clap*
*clap*
We fade in on the slow clap of the Face of the Franchise. This time you didn’t get a smirk or a confident grin. No this time there seemed to be an aura of humility emanating from behind those sunglasses. With the usual dash of sarcasm of course.
*clap*
*clap*
“You did it Jason.”
He puts his hands up and bows his head.
“You beat me and took my title.”
Steve looks up into the camera. As genuine as he could ever look.
“That’s it.”
He sighs.
“I’m not going to add any buts or ifs or excuses for why I lost. Nah, Jason Long was the better man at Phantom of Guilt and he deserves to be the Hardcore Champion.”
Steve laughs a bit.
“I know it seems weird. Seems out of character for me to say that but I’m not afraid to give credit where credit is due. You know, I may be cocky, confident, talented, handsome, funny, charming, athletic, physically fit, passionate about cheesecakes, interested in sky diving but I’ve never been. Heh you know nerves…speaking of…..you know who gets on my nerves? Cart narcs! You seen these people, they wait in parking lots until someone doesn’t put away their shopping cart and then they just harass you and make you look like an asshole on their YouTube show!”
Steve rips his sunglasses off and glares into the camera.
“If you put me on YouTube I’m gonna sue you!!!”
Steve suddenly realizes he trailed off a bit and pulls himself back together.
“Okay so anyway the point I was trying to make here is that I don’t care what people think of me, I’m not afraid to step up, admit when I’m beat, and look my opponent in the eye and tell him that I respect him.
For what it’s worth to him, Jason Long has earned my respect.”
He bowed his head.
But when he raised it he gave the camera an evil sleaze filled grin.
“But at Bad Company, Jason Long, in a Taipei Deathmatch….”
He slides his sunglasses back onto his face and flashes that confident hardcore smirk.
“You are going to learn to respect me.”
He points to himself with a thumb to the chest.
“Trust me when I say that I don’t need your respect back Jason. I only called our match last month a dream match to help sell the tickets, brother. Last month it didn’t matter one bit about beating you aside from retaining my title. Besides, respect from you is taken with a grain of salt anyways Mister teen angst indy boy.”
“But this time around, beating you means a whole lot more. I’m focused, I have a game plan, I’ve gone over the match and I’m ready to fix my mistakes and I’m going to start by ripping your face off. At Bad Company, The Face of the Franchise is going to entertain the masses while kicking Jason Longs ass, with my fists dipped in glass. And I’m walking out as the god damn bloody new hardcore champion. Not only am I going to take back my HardKore Championship of the World, but I’m going to beat the respect out of you. I’m going to prove how hardcore I am when I dip my fists in that glass and carve it into your face. I’m going to go so “God of Xtreme” that you are going to look back and WISH that it was Spike Kane in these matches instead of me.”
Steve said with a confident grin but an evil glare that made things feel a bit uneasy. Like a controlled and focused rage.
“And after all the smoke has cleared, the blood has dried, you are gonna go back to your locker room. Broken, battered, throbbing in places you didn't know could throb. Your luggage is going to be fifteen pounds lighter without the Hardcore title to lug around. At least that’s a plus for you. That’s gonna make airport security a breeze.”
Steve gives the camera a thumbs up.
“And as you attempt to shower away the pain and agony of defeat and you watch dried and fresh blood circle down the drain you are going to think back to what happened and it will dawn on you. Damn Steve Awesome is hardcore, baby! And as all those wounds start to sting and scar over you will know with absolute certainty that Steve Awesome…”
He uses his hands to present it up on an imaginary marquee in front of him.
“Is a cut above the rest.”
He smirked.
“And you gotta respect that!”
He pulled his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose and he peered over the frame.
“So with all due respect….”
Steve went to salute but quickly hit him with the crotch chop instead!
“Kindly suck it!”
Crotch chop.
Fade.
“And just like that, The Toddlerian threat we never knew existed has been destroyed all thanks to the cause of and solution; Steve Awesome.”
The reporter is handed a small sheet of paper.
“This just in, Steve Awesome wets the bed. More on this at eleven!”
Steve quickly turns the television off and sighs. That was gonna be a P.R. nightmare. But before he had time to deal with it, he noticed Marty Donovan rolling back and forth on his mobility scooter arguing with somebody on his cell phone.
“What do you mean you are backing out of the sandwich deal!? My team worked hard to create a sandwich that was worthy of the name “Disney’s Marty Donovan Presents “The Marty with Havarti”
Marty stops and his jaw drops in shock!
“What do you mean, you only make sandwiches with winners!? Hello? Hello!?”
Marty looks at his phone screen.
“They hung up.”
Marty carefully gets off his scooter and slumps into a nearby chair, depressed. Steve comes over and tries to cheer up his friend.
“Tough break man. First you lose your world title to Cross Recoba and now you lose a sandwich deal. Man….”
Steve puts his hand on Marty’s shoulder to attempt to comfort him.
“…You are one pathetic loser…”
Steve holds up a finger.
“No offense.”
Marty just shakes his head.
“C‘Mon man you lost your belt too.”
Steve glares at him and crosses his arms.
“This is not a time for you to be pointing fingers, Marty. Besides, I actually have a rematch for the HardKore Championship of the World. Because good old J-Rok has a rematch policy in place. Every beat down former champ looking to reclaim his glory, like moi, can have his chance at redemption against the cocky flash in the pan new champion that everyone wants to see defeated, like Jason Long.”
Marty nods his head and points.
“Ah yup. I’ve heard of this. It’s the rematch clause loop.”
Steve tilts his head.
“Huh?”
“Okay, so say you go into Bad Company, you survive the Taipei Deathmatch and you beat Jason Long…”
“You damn right I’m going to beat Jason Long. Im going to beat to Taipei Death!”
Marty nods.
“Right. So you become the new HardKore Champion of the world. What’s to stop Jason Long from cashing in his rematch? Then what if he beats you? Then YOU cash in YOUR rematch and you win and it just keeps happening and happening and you and Long fight for all eternity.”
Steve glares at Marty. But then he really gets it and his eyes go wide in shock.
“Oh my god. Kira you devious bastard! You will not catch me in an infinite rematch time loop!”
Steve says as he shakes his fist toward the heavens. This time Marty attempts to calm Steve down.
“Listen man, it doesn’t have to be this way. I’ll tell you what, Steve, as the newest member of my group The Anointed, I got your back in Japan.”
“Really?”
Marty nods.
“Absolutely. That’s what friends do for each other. Besides, that jerk beat me in Tapout so I’m down to get some revenge on that poor unfortunate soul!”
Marty smiles and holds out a fist bump. Steve gives him a dap right back and nods his head.
“Well that works for me then. Together we can make sure Jason Long loses the title, and never makes it back to ever even have a rematch. And we can make sure that he suffers a very painful and intense, but culturally accurate and tasteful Taipei Death in the main event of the evening.”
Steve rubs his hands together as he thinks about his evil intentions. Marty glances at his phone.
“Hey what’s this about you wetting the bed?”
Steve just sighs and shakes his head not allowing Marty to bring him down while he’s excited about his evil plan.
“Not now Marty…”
STEVE AWESOME
FACE OF THE FRANCHISE
*clap*
*clap*
*clap*
We fade in on the slow clap of the Face of the Franchise. This time you didn’t get a smirk or a confident grin. No this time there seemed to be an aura of humility emanating from behind those sunglasses. With the usual dash of sarcasm of course.
*clap*
*clap*
“You did it Jason.”
He puts his hands up and bows his head.
“You beat me and took my title.”
Steve looks up into the camera. As genuine as he could ever look.
“That’s it.”
He sighs.
“I’m not going to add any buts or ifs or excuses for why I lost. Nah, Jason Long was the better man at Phantom of Guilt and he deserves to be the Hardcore Champion.”
Steve laughs a bit.
“I know it seems weird. Seems out of character for me to say that but I’m not afraid to give credit where credit is due. You know, I may be cocky, confident, talented, handsome, funny, charming, athletic, physically fit, passionate about cheesecakes, interested in sky diving but I’ve never been. Heh you know nerves…speaking of…..you know who gets on my nerves? Cart narcs! You seen these people, they wait in parking lots until someone doesn’t put away their shopping cart and then they just harass you and make you look like an asshole on their YouTube show!”
Steve rips his sunglasses off and glares into the camera.
“If you put me on YouTube I’m gonna sue you!!!”
Steve suddenly realizes he trailed off a bit and pulls himself back together.
“Okay so anyway the point I was trying to make here is that I don’t care what people think of me, I’m not afraid to step up, admit when I’m beat, and look my opponent in the eye and tell him that I respect him.
For what it’s worth to him, Jason Long has earned my respect.”
He bowed his head.
But when he raised it he gave the camera an evil sleaze filled grin.
“But at Bad Company, Jason Long, in a Taipei Deathmatch….”
He slides his sunglasses back onto his face and flashes that confident hardcore smirk.
“You are going to learn to respect me.”
He points to himself with a thumb to the chest.
“Trust me when I say that I don’t need your respect back Jason. I only called our match last month a dream match to help sell the tickets, brother. Last month it didn’t matter one bit about beating you aside from retaining my title. Besides, respect from you is taken with a grain of salt anyways Mister teen angst indy boy.”
“But this time around, beating you means a whole lot more. I’m focused, I have a game plan, I’ve gone over the match and I’m ready to fix my mistakes and I’m going to start by ripping your face off. At Bad Company, The Face of the Franchise is going to entertain the masses while kicking Jason Longs ass, with my fists dipped in glass. And I’m walking out as the god damn bloody new hardcore champion. Not only am I going to take back my HardKore Championship of the World, but I’m going to beat the respect out of you. I’m going to prove how hardcore I am when I dip my fists in that glass and carve it into your face. I’m going to go so “God of Xtreme” that you are going to look back and WISH that it was Spike Kane in these matches instead of me.”
Steve said with a confident grin but an evil glare that made things feel a bit uneasy. Like a controlled and focused rage.
“And after all the smoke has cleared, the blood has dried, you are gonna go back to your locker room. Broken, battered, throbbing in places you didn't know could throb. Your luggage is going to be fifteen pounds lighter without the Hardcore title to lug around. At least that’s a plus for you. That’s gonna make airport security a breeze.”
Steve gives the camera a thumbs up.
“And as you attempt to shower away the pain and agony of defeat and you watch dried and fresh blood circle down the drain you are going to think back to what happened and it will dawn on you. Damn Steve Awesome is hardcore, baby! And as all those wounds start to sting and scar over you will know with absolute certainty that Steve Awesome…”
He uses his hands to present it up on an imaginary marquee in front of him.
“Is a cut above the rest.”
He smirked.
“And you gotta respect that!”
He pulled his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose and he peered over the frame.
“So with all due respect….”
Steve went to salute but quickly hit him with the crotch chop instead!
“Kindly suck it!”
Crotch chop.
Fade.