HardKore Training (rp2)
Apr 28, 2023 22:22:03 GMT -5
Kira Izumi, Jesse Jamester, and 1 more like this
Post by Steve Awesome on Apr 28, 2023 22:22:03 GMT -5
STEVE AWESOME
FACE OF THE FRANCHISE
A gritty shot of an urban city.
“So this may sound surprising to some people. But there are folks out there who think that Steve Awesome isn’t hardcore. People like Jason Long and so many others assume just because I’m the big time movie star Face of the Franchise that I’m afraid to get a little bloody.”
“But that couldn’t be any further from the truth.”
“I’m wild.”
“I’m crazy.”
“I’m as hardcore as they come!”
“I was hardcore as a baby. In preschool I made a Lego boot and super kicked another kid. The thigh slap was so loud it woke up the kids in daycare!”
“To be honest I really earned my hardcore credit by growing up on the mean streets of Detroit as a kid.”
We spot the Face of the Franchise walking down the gritty streets. He was wearing a Detroit vs Everybody t-shirt and a stupid looking bandana with the knot flipped around on his forehead.
“When you grow up on these hardcore streets in this bastard of a city, you see some things. You either learn what it takes to survive or you fall with the rest of them here. Because in Detroit, you never know who's coming to take you out.
“That’s where I learned how to be cold.”
“I learned how to be ruthless.”
“I learned how to be ready for war.
“That’s where I learned how to cut a mahfk down just for looking at me funny!”
He pounded his chest.
“That’s where I learned how to take fake ass punks like Jason Long out in a second because they aren’t about this life!”
“Because when it comes down to them or me, I’m gonna pick me everytime. These streets molded me. They hardened me into the hardcore icon that I am! That’s why I’m ready for anything!”
Suddenly a car blares on the horn and barely avoids hitting Steve.
“GET OUT OF THE ROAD, ASSHOLE!”
“Sorry!”
Steve says as he leaps into the grass. He looks back at his camera.
“You gotta be Ready for anything on these streets.”
Steve said with a nod unaware that the camera was getting a shot of a street sign behind him that read “welcome to West Bloomfield. “The City of Flowers.”
~
We open on the strange looking face of famed dirt sheet writer and part time wrestler Tuna Meltzer.
“Hello everyone, Tuna Meltzer here and I have a big time exclusive scoop for all of you! Follow me!”
Tuna walks through a small gym locker room, out the door and into the main room with a ring. The camera gets a shot of Steve Awesome and an unknown sparring partner getting their hands wrapped up.
“We are actually going to catch an inside look at Steve Awesome preparing for his match against Jason Long. Here we see them preparing the hand wrapping that will then have glue applied to them and dipped in the glue.”
An assistant wheels out the table cart with the glue and the buckets of shattered glass. The assistant drizzled the glue onto the gloves of the sparring partner as Steve Awesome examined the set up. He poked a finger into the glass and was shocked when it cut his finger!
“Yowwie! Ooh! That’s real glass!”
Steve said, shock evident in his voice. He shook his finger because somehow that helps alleviate the burn of the cut.
“I thought the glass was going to be gimmicked.”
The trainer shook his head.
“Nope. We got the real deal. Besides, it’s not going to be gimmicked in Japan.”
Steve’s head jerks his head toward the trainer with his jaw dropped.
“IT’S NOT!?!?”
Steve immediately starts tearing off his hand wraps and shaking his head.
“Look, I need to make a few calls. Tuna, go ahead and get wrapped up and spar with this guy. I’m going to need a visual example of this while I’m on the phone in the hallway.”
“Uh…what?”
The assistant starts pushing Tuna Meltzer toward the cart with the glue and the glass as Steve quickly walks out of the room.
~
STEVE AWESOME
“FACE” OF THE FRANCHISE
“Okay so after many, many,….many phone calls, it appears there’s no way around it.”
Fade in on Steve as he crosses his arms and shakes his head.
“We have to live Kira’s sick fantasy and fight with actual glass glued to our fists.”
Steve covers his mouth, attempting to hide the bit of nerves. He shakes it off.
“That’s fine. I’m cool with it Jason. I don’t mind pulverizing your face into mashed potatoes, because let’s face it, you’re ugly, and if you ask me, dark hair and bearded guys with complex movesets are a dime a dozen so I’m down with “mixing it up” at Bad Company.”
Steve holds up a finger.
“But here’s the thing. I got a movie coming up and a pending deal with Lords of London for my face. So I’m basically legally bound to let you know that you can’t hit me in the face.”
He draws an imaginary circle around his face.
“This is a no no spot. Understand?”
Steve nods.
“Okay good. Now that’s out of the way, and we’re on the same page, I’d just like to say I can’t wait to turn you into a whole new person in Japan. But my no face rule isn’t going to matter. You aren’t even going to get a hit on me!”
Steve nods and pretends to be sad.
“Oooh so sorry Long, but you are officially in over your head! For as Hardcore as I was destined to become there is always room for improvement. That’s right! I’ve been trained by the absolute best! First off there is Disneys Marty Donovan!”
~
We open in a scene that looks right out of imperial China. Marty Donovan, on his mobility scooter, tosses Steve a bunch of barbed wire kendo sticks as the music starts to play.
🎼Let's get down to business!
To Defeat, JASON LONG!
So you want to be HardKore!”
Just wait till the end, of the song!
You're the saddest bunch I ever met
But you can bet before we're through
Mister, I'll BRING HARDKORE out of you!”🎼
Marty does a pretty impressive spin move on his scooter. We see Steve swinging the sticks but that’s when you notice he’s done up in makeup and he’s wearing a dress.
“I mean….I feel a bit more hardcore but did I really have to cross dress for this?”
Marty glares at Steve like he’s stupid.
“Have you even seen Mulan?”
~
STEVE AWESOME
HARDCORE PADAWAN
And of course I had to bring in the big guns. The most hardcore! The most Xtreme! One of the most vile and pain inducing individuals in all of wrestling!
The God of Xtreme himself…..”
~
We quickly cut to a deranged My little pony doll! Spike Kane’s bloodthirsty voice echoed through it.
“THAT'S RIGHT STEVE! KILL’EM! STAB HIM UNTIL HE RUNS OUT OF BLOOD!”
We open in a small gym. Steve is pummeling a stunt dummy and the My Little Pony possessed by Spike Kane sat on the turnbuckle.
“DON'T LET UP! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!! BLOOOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOOOOOOD!!!!”
Steve continues to bash the head until it just explodes into a bloody mess in the ring. Steve gets up and starts wiping off the fake blood that got on him. Spike watches from the corner, he nods his head in approval.
“That was great Steve! The main key to being Xtreme is to make sure you hurt your opponent before they hurt you. Remember that and you are going to destroy Jason Long!”
Steve quickly writes that down then stares at Spike in confusion.
“Are you Princess Flurry Heart?”
~
STEVE AWESOME
NEXT HARDKORE CHAMPION
Fade in on a sneering scowl.
“I know you're feeling good, Jason. You got the title. You can hold that win over my head. You got all the momentum in the world. I’ll tell you this much, if I were in your shoes I’d be feeling like I was on top of the world.”
I’ve seen the headlines. Jason Long pulls off mega upset against wrestling megastar. Score one for bland indy marks everywhere.”
“I know you're riding high but I’m about to pull the rug out from under you at Bad Company.”
“You see Jason, not only do I have a natural background in hardcore but I have access to the best trainers around.
Now I’m ready.
Now I’m chomping at the bit.
I’m ready to roll into Bad Company and make sure lightning doesn’t strike twice.
He glares into the camera.
“I’m ready to punch right through you and take back MY HARDKORE CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD.”
He smirks.
“And there is no fancy move or hold or anything you can do to stop me this time.”
Jason Long, in Japan….”
He glares.
“I’m gonna beat you to Taipei Death!”
Crotch Chop!