Post by Dave D-Flipz on May 25, 2023 10:19:21 GMT -5
*The scene opens in a press room. Various folks have passed through giving their thoughts on the rumble. As they await the arrival of the top performers, a loud crash is heard. Assorted tidbits of paper and bits and bobs from random knick knacks scatter across the floor from off stage. A folding chair launches from off stage past the camera and audience and then off stage and camera as quick as it came. A loud shout is heard.*
Merric: GGGRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHH! BLOODY FUCKING CHUNDER! I trained for this shit. I spent actual time bettering myself. I did what the corporate sponsors asked of Cross. I was quiet, I stayed out of jail this year. I kept to myself and let the build-up happen while I focused. And then … AND THEN … A FUCKING SLAB OF BEEF!
*From the crowd, Tucker stands up and raises a finger.*
Tucker: Actually I think his name is BEEEEEEEF! With multiple … uh … e’s … I shouldn’t have said anything… I’ll just be going then.
*He slinks off stage as the Angered Aussie stares near-literal daggers into his friend. Aiden runs his hands through his hair… his still relatively kempt hair. Not a lick of sweat on him.*
Merric: I don’t care if his name is Beef, Chicken, Dingo, Gruel, Slop, or .. .or … something fucking stupid like Sticky! I didn’t even get to break a sweat. I have placed in the final six, I have been a monster across two rumbles. I should have annihilated everyone with these beasts. *kisses his fists* Everyone who came across me should have had to replace their profile pictures on the website with images of jammy dodgers to avoid getting the ban hammer thrown at them for the disturbing imagery of their own mugs.
Luke Owen (D.A.D.) of Wrestletalk: Mr. Merric, would you say you regret staying out of trouble before this rumble?
Merric: … Well Mr … *looks at name tag* Owen. What do you think? I played nice! I was the perfect lapdog for the sponsors of Tapout. I’d say I got a raw deal and they should let me be me! I didn’t deserve to go to jail EITHER of the last two years anyhow!
Luke Owen (D.A.D.) of Wrestletalk: Well you didn’t exactly … play nice. You just stopped promoting your presence. Playing nice is more something a guy like Death Trap or Redmond Fury does.
*Aiden goes to react but instead absorbs this. DT finished third after all …*
Merric: …Well playing nice ain’t really in my vocabulary ya daft cunt. Anyhow I’ve already been here longer than in the match, I’m sure you’d rather talk to the slab of meat.
Luke Owen (D.A.D.) of Wrestletalk: Yes! BEEEEF seems like a VERY stable and coherent interview indeed!
*He pulls up a green screen behind him from nowhere for no reason … Aiden just wanders off, rage subsiding at his own performance, deep in thought*
Merric: Back to the opening match I go. Back to another “talent showcase” for the dregs of the roster. The fact I am being grouped with a debuting fighter, newer recruit like Kingsley or Thespian, and bottom of the barrel shit like Capone or Sticky … it’s a knock to my confidence ya see. I am MAIN EVENT MERRIC! … But it occurs to me that despite my attempt to embody that virtue … I ain’t delivered on the promise in my proclamation. I ain’t delivered on the words of my new banging entrance romp. But far be it from me to go all Pink Floyd at this prospect…
Tucker: Come again?
Merric: Comfortably numb.
*Aiden and Tucker sit in the living quarters of his mobile hunter’s lodge … in the parking lot of the Sands Hotel, still occupying some 12 mid-level spaces. Aiden is sipping his depressed drink of choice: American piss-water – Bastard Brew.*
Merric: This isn’t a slight from Cross. No, this is a response to my not holding up my end of the bargain. For all the drongos he’s signed, I was the biggest name up front. I was the one meant to bring Tapout the X*Crown. Capone? He was a young talent to show Tapout could develop a star. Kingsley? A shrewd business deal to work with possible competition and get a bigger name star on the roster. Thespian? An investment. Sticky? Enhancement talent and youtube level shenanigans. Shock value and ratings. And Jacob Craft? Well they need to keep the roster stocked after Poena keeps ending people.
*He shrugs*
Tucker: Alright, so fer once ya ain’t mad about this. How does that translate into the match?
*Aiden stands up and paces. He downs the rest of the beer and crushes the can on his head and tosses it into the bin, he immediately reaches into his esky and grabs another and cracks it, taking a huge gulp and grimacing from the less than smooth aftertaste of sweat and grease*
Merric: Thespian … the man of mystery. You came out swinging last show. I tip my hat to you fer that. But … you know I need to get mine back now. You got a win against me, and now I aim to take a trophy from you. I want you to listen good. You ain’t gonna get away with this mimicry bullshit on me. You can imitate these fists and forearms … but ya can’t get the power behind them I can. You best use your own best moves to tangle with the wonder from down under. Cuz the moment I sense weakness or hesitation in you? I’m taking yer head clean off and hanging it on my wall. Imagine the stories to tell of the faceless head on the mount. I will not allow you to use me as a stepping stone to the top. Your place is beneath me in the ratings, and I intend to send you back down the ladder. So you can choose to man up, show that face, and take yer punishment like a man … or you can sit back and watch as I claim your “face” as my payment for you ruining my performance for my … probably only … superfan.
*Aiden guzzles from the beer can and laughs a bit*
Merric: Jacob Craft. Fer a young kid new to the roster, you got a hell of a mouth. You should know not to talk back to your elders, or your superiors, or in your case really anyone. After all … talk shit … get hit … you don’t wanna fuck around with me and find out. Erin ain’t here to back that up so it’s on me to carry that torch. You wanna talk shit about my recent luck, my performance in the rumble, my distinctive tastes in the piss water? Fine. But … and let me make this crystal fucking clear …
*He leans right into his makeshift camera set up, blood vessels splitting in his eyes and his face dyeing red from the anger in his voice. A gravel to his voice strains his vocal chords as he talks low and slow.*
Merric: Me mum gave me this name. You can insult me all you want, it’ll get you receipts. But … ain’t a man alive today has said a foul word about Momma Merric. The ones she met? Well you can at least visit their headstones. The ones who crossed Aiden? Well let’s just say they seem to have almost never existed! Funny how that shit works in the opal mines. Terrible tragedies happen around there. You best hope you can perform like the ace you claim to be … or else you never get in the ring with me … because I will be claiming each of your teeth … and each of your finger nails … and every hair on your head … to give to my dear ol’ mother as payment for this incomprehensible slight.
*He leans back and smiles that sick smirk*
Merric: Make fer a HELL of a debut story though kid! Not necessarily a long career though.
Tucker: Maybe ya shouldn’t be makin’ idle threats on camera to be used as exhibit A, eh Merric?
*He raises and eyebrow and sips his drink, speaking over the can*
Merric: T’aint no threat, Tuck. That were a promise, it were.
*Tucker sighs and buries his head in his hands, which get absorbed into the mass of hair and beard he presents with.*
Merric: And oh, the second chances abound. Not only do I get a faceless face fer my wall … I can get me a piece of clown, drowned in black ichor. Sticky, old bean. I ain’t forgotten about you. Yer one big hoss of a nightmare fodder ya know that? Kids must love seeing you around the carnival. Oh that’s Kharnival with a K right? Cheers, mate. You put up a rip snorter of a barn burner. I salute yer ability to be a challenge worthy of my time and effort. I’m sure this won’t be the last time I harvest a piece of you if yer as immortal as you claim. But then, size and ferocity ain’t everything big bastard. You ain’t got the heart to survive the hunt. You ain’t got the drive of a TRUE hunter. I ain’t never needed powers, or magic, or fear tactics. I ain’t never needed to be some monster to be an actual monster. When you get down to it? I’m five times the horror you will ever be. And I aim to prove that here.
*Aiden sighs*
Merric: As for my partners? Well it comes to my attention that I ain’t got the reputation of being a particularly good … team player. And apparently that’s been hurting me. So here’s the deal. We coexist. I … *gulp* play nice. If I want to be truly … unstoppable … I need to learn to work better with those I share goals with. I need to learn to use the collaborative and competitive nature of the sport to my benefit. And you guys looking over yer shoulders at me in fear or jealousy ain’t gonna win us a match. So listen here … our goal … is to win this match. That is it. We all need this win … some more than others … so I vow to … play nice. I promise to further that goal. And then go on my way. I got my own demons to worry about anyhow.
Tucker: It’s almost sickening to see you actually having to rely on people, Merric.
Merric: I haven’t been willing to do what is necessary unless it involved violence, Tuck. I have to learn. Keep improving. Stagnation kills a good hunter.
*His phone rings with a number he doesn’t recognize.*
Merric: Ya got the Aussie who don’t give a tossie, what’s yer business?
*He listens intently … his eyes focus … he suddenly smirks*
Merric: Well now … that’s an interesting offer. I’d be a daft cunt not to think about that one … *covering the mouthpiece* Tuck, kill the camera.
*Static*
Merric: GGGRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHH! BLOODY FUCKING CHUNDER! I trained for this shit. I spent actual time bettering myself. I did what the corporate sponsors asked of Cross. I was quiet, I stayed out of jail this year. I kept to myself and let the build-up happen while I focused. And then … AND THEN … A FUCKING SLAB OF BEEF!
*From the crowd, Tucker stands up and raises a finger.*
Tucker: Actually I think his name is BEEEEEEEF! With multiple … uh … e’s … I shouldn’t have said anything… I’ll just be going then.
*He slinks off stage as the Angered Aussie stares near-literal daggers into his friend. Aiden runs his hands through his hair… his still relatively kempt hair. Not a lick of sweat on him.*
Merric: I don’t care if his name is Beef, Chicken, Dingo, Gruel, Slop, or .. .or … something fucking stupid like Sticky! I didn’t even get to break a sweat. I have placed in the final six, I have been a monster across two rumbles. I should have annihilated everyone with these beasts. *kisses his fists* Everyone who came across me should have had to replace their profile pictures on the website with images of jammy dodgers to avoid getting the ban hammer thrown at them for the disturbing imagery of their own mugs.
Luke Owen (D.A.D.) of Wrestletalk: Mr. Merric, would you say you regret staying out of trouble before this rumble?
Merric: … Well Mr … *looks at name tag* Owen. What do you think? I played nice! I was the perfect lapdog for the sponsors of Tapout. I’d say I got a raw deal and they should let me be me! I didn’t deserve to go to jail EITHER of the last two years anyhow!
Luke Owen (D.A.D.) of Wrestletalk: Well you didn’t exactly … play nice. You just stopped promoting your presence. Playing nice is more something a guy like Death Trap or Redmond Fury does.
*Aiden goes to react but instead absorbs this. DT finished third after all …*
Merric: …Well playing nice ain’t really in my vocabulary ya daft cunt. Anyhow I’ve already been here longer than in the match, I’m sure you’d rather talk to the slab of meat.
Luke Owen (D.A.D.) of Wrestletalk: Yes! BEEEEF seems like a VERY stable and coherent interview indeed!
*He pulls up a green screen behind him from nowhere for no reason … Aiden just wanders off, rage subsiding at his own performance, deep in thought*
Merric: Back to the opening match I go. Back to another “talent showcase” for the dregs of the roster. The fact I am being grouped with a debuting fighter, newer recruit like Kingsley or Thespian, and bottom of the barrel shit like Capone or Sticky … it’s a knock to my confidence ya see. I am MAIN EVENT MERRIC! … But it occurs to me that despite my attempt to embody that virtue … I ain’t delivered on the promise in my proclamation. I ain’t delivered on the words of my new banging entrance romp. But far be it from me to go all Pink Floyd at this prospect…
Tucker: Come again?
Merric: Comfortably numb.
*Aiden and Tucker sit in the living quarters of his mobile hunter’s lodge … in the parking lot of the Sands Hotel, still occupying some 12 mid-level spaces. Aiden is sipping his depressed drink of choice: American piss-water – Bastard Brew.*
Merric: This isn’t a slight from Cross. No, this is a response to my not holding up my end of the bargain. For all the drongos he’s signed, I was the biggest name up front. I was the one meant to bring Tapout the X*Crown. Capone? He was a young talent to show Tapout could develop a star. Kingsley? A shrewd business deal to work with possible competition and get a bigger name star on the roster. Thespian? An investment. Sticky? Enhancement talent and youtube level shenanigans. Shock value and ratings. And Jacob Craft? Well they need to keep the roster stocked after Poena keeps ending people.
*He shrugs*
Tucker: Alright, so fer once ya ain’t mad about this. How does that translate into the match?
*Aiden stands up and paces. He downs the rest of the beer and crushes the can on his head and tosses it into the bin, he immediately reaches into his esky and grabs another and cracks it, taking a huge gulp and grimacing from the less than smooth aftertaste of sweat and grease*
Merric: Thespian … the man of mystery. You came out swinging last show. I tip my hat to you fer that. But … you know I need to get mine back now. You got a win against me, and now I aim to take a trophy from you. I want you to listen good. You ain’t gonna get away with this mimicry bullshit on me. You can imitate these fists and forearms … but ya can’t get the power behind them I can. You best use your own best moves to tangle with the wonder from down under. Cuz the moment I sense weakness or hesitation in you? I’m taking yer head clean off and hanging it on my wall. Imagine the stories to tell of the faceless head on the mount. I will not allow you to use me as a stepping stone to the top. Your place is beneath me in the ratings, and I intend to send you back down the ladder. So you can choose to man up, show that face, and take yer punishment like a man … or you can sit back and watch as I claim your “face” as my payment for you ruining my performance for my … probably only … superfan.
*Aiden guzzles from the beer can and laughs a bit*
Merric: Jacob Craft. Fer a young kid new to the roster, you got a hell of a mouth. You should know not to talk back to your elders, or your superiors, or in your case really anyone. After all … talk shit … get hit … you don’t wanna fuck around with me and find out. Erin ain’t here to back that up so it’s on me to carry that torch. You wanna talk shit about my recent luck, my performance in the rumble, my distinctive tastes in the piss water? Fine. But … and let me make this crystal fucking clear …
*He leans right into his makeshift camera set up, blood vessels splitting in his eyes and his face dyeing red from the anger in his voice. A gravel to his voice strains his vocal chords as he talks low and slow.*
Merric: Me mum gave me this name. You can insult me all you want, it’ll get you receipts. But … ain’t a man alive today has said a foul word about Momma Merric. The ones she met? Well you can at least visit their headstones. The ones who crossed Aiden? Well let’s just say they seem to have almost never existed! Funny how that shit works in the opal mines. Terrible tragedies happen around there. You best hope you can perform like the ace you claim to be … or else you never get in the ring with me … because I will be claiming each of your teeth … and each of your finger nails … and every hair on your head … to give to my dear ol’ mother as payment for this incomprehensible slight.
*He leans back and smiles that sick smirk*
Merric: Make fer a HELL of a debut story though kid! Not necessarily a long career though.
Tucker: Maybe ya shouldn’t be makin’ idle threats on camera to be used as exhibit A, eh Merric?
*He raises and eyebrow and sips his drink, speaking over the can*
Merric: T’aint no threat, Tuck. That were a promise, it were.
*Tucker sighs and buries his head in his hands, which get absorbed into the mass of hair and beard he presents with.*
Merric: And oh, the second chances abound. Not only do I get a faceless face fer my wall … I can get me a piece of clown, drowned in black ichor. Sticky, old bean. I ain’t forgotten about you. Yer one big hoss of a nightmare fodder ya know that? Kids must love seeing you around the carnival. Oh that’s Kharnival with a K right? Cheers, mate. You put up a rip snorter of a barn burner. I salute yer ability to be a challenge worthy of my time and effort. I’m sure this won’t be the last time I harvest a piece of you if yer as immortal as you claim. But then, size and ferocity ain’t everything big bastard. You ain’t got the heart to survive the hunt. You ain’t got the drive of a TRUE hunter. I ain’t never needed powers, or magic, or fear tactics. I ain’t never needed to be some monster to be an actual monster. When you get down to it? I’m five times the horror you will ever be. And I aim to prove that here.
*Aiden sighs*
Merric: As for my partners? Well it comes to my attention that I ain’t got the reputation of being a particularly good … team player. And apparently that’s been hurting me. So here’s the deal. We coexist. I … *gulp* play nice. If I want to be truly … unstoppable … I need to learn to work better with those I share goals with. I need to learn to use the collaborative and competitive nature of the sport to my benefit. And you guys looking over yer shoulders at me in fear or jealousy ain’t gonna win us a match. So listen here … our goal … is to win this match. That is it. We all need this win … some more than others … so I vow to … play nice. I promise to further that goal. And then go on my way. I got my own demons to worry about anyhow.
Tucker: It’s almost sickening to see you actually having to rely on people, Merric.
Merric: I haven’t been willing to do what is necessary unless it involved violence, Tuck. I have to learn. Keep improving. Stagnation kills a good hunter.
*His phone rings with a number he doesn’t recognize.*
Merric: Ya got the Aussie who don’t give a tossie, what’s yer business?
*He listens intently … his eyes focus … he suddenly smirks*
Merric: Well now … that’s an interesting offer. I’d be a daft cunt not to think about that one … *covering the mouthpiece* Tuck, kill the camera.
*Static*