Post by Venom đź•· on May 25, 2023 17:53:15 GMT -5
Bonnie Jenkins: Winner of this match and NEEEEEEEEEW XHF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS — Off the Wagon, Kris Quake and Randy Angel!
Those words are music to my ears. They calm my restless mind. They cure everything that ails me. I am able to once again remember just why I am still doing this. I remember why I risk my life and liver to keep this up.
And New.
A glint of light sparkles on a black screen. The camera pans through the darkness to find where the light has come from and stops on the XHF tag team championship laying on a stool below a lamp. We notice the shining gold and most importantly the shiny new nameplate that reads:
Off the Wagon
Kris “Triple” Quake
Kris “Triple” Quake
The belt soon moves as two hands reach down and pick it up. The light from the lamp follows it now highlighting the face of the leader of Natural Selection “the Monopoly” Triple Quake. He smiles at the sight of the camera as he places the shiny belt on his shoulder.
Quake: The Monopoly is used to playing games. I am, in fact, the game master in many circles. This is why my partner “the Serpent” Randy Angel and I were able to best two of the top wrestlers J-Rok has to offer and those other two losers to take the XHF Tag Team Championships. In our first defense, though, we are challenged by a game even I might not be able to conquer.
Quake pauses and takes a deep breath.
Quake: In our first defense it won’t be our opponents playing our game, no. It will be us playing our opponents game. And that game, well, it’s something unheard of.
Quake shakes his head as if he’s truly scared at what is coming.
Quake: This weekend, when most are celebrating those who have their lives for the United States, the Monopoly and the Serpent will be tasked with the strangest game of Twister.
Quake pauses and stares hard into the camera to let that sink in.
Quake: You know it is going to be a hard game because they have called in a real game show host to be in charge of the rules. Noel Edmonds, the longtime host of the British version of Deal or No Deal, is tasked with keeping everyone following the rules. What I don’t understand, though, is the rules of the game.
Quake skews his face showing confusion.
Quake: I know the rules of your standard game of Twister. You spin the dial and the judge yells out the color for and body part you need to place on it. This Twister mat is different though! All the dots are yellow and mat is three dimensional! How do you play a mat like that!
Quake takes a moment and calms himself down. He slows his breathing and continues.
Quake: Even if the rules evade the Monopoly I will overcome. If old man Edmonds yells right hand yellow the Monopoly will punch my right hand right into the closest yellow spot he could. Right foot yellow, I’ll place that right foot so far up that pink blobs yellow spot they’ll have no choice but to announce me as the winner. Because no one beats the Monopoly. No one pulls as fast one over the Mental Murderer. And with the Serpent by his side and a flask full of Super Sake no one can stop Off the Wagon.
With that Quake reaches up and shines his new XHF Tag Team Championship and smiles into the camera as we fade.
This is not the first time I heard those words for these belts. This is not even the first partner I’ve heard these words for these belts with. Yet still, after all these years, hearing these words still hit hard.
And new.
But this time, it’s different. This time those words validate everything I’ve done since returning. Randy and I have won belts in three different companies. We even held titles in two companies at the same time, but none of that mattered because we’d still be told we couldn’t do it on a global level. Now, though, what can they say?
And new.
Even if we lost in our first defense. Even if we are one win wonders. No one can take this away from us. We’re not just winners at the local level. No. We’re winners at the global level, and no one can take that away from us.
But we don’t want to stop there. We don’t want to be the one win wonders. We want to continue to be on top. We want to hear another set of words.
And still.