A Amigos Ausentes (Tag Titles)
Jun 18, 2023 11:43:00 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, mosler, and 2 more like this
Post by bloodiedfox on Jun 18, 2023 11:43:00 GMT -5
We fade up on the incongruous sight of NLW luchador turned CAR teamster Big Bone looking sombre. The chonky lothario, clad as always in his skeleton bodysuit and mask stands before what the occult-inclined among you would recognise as a statue of Baphomet.
Hola mi amigo muerto. Big Bone is sorry he has not been to pay sus respetos sooner, but it was too duro, emocionalmente. Partly because due to you being uno mono malvado from the very bowels of Infierno I could not have you buried in an actual graveyard so La Iglesia de Satanás helped me arrange for you to be interred in a estacionamiento de Taco Bell...
The camera pulls back enough to reveal that he is indeed in the parking lot of a Taco Bell.
...but also I feel as though your muerte was mi culpa. If I had stayed lucha in NLW, building on my near victory for la X*Corona against Senor Dylan Black, you would not have been so Decepcionado conmigo, and so would not have done all that cocaína y had all that sexo con all those mujer hermosa y so not suffered that infarto fatal.
He shakes his head sadly.
I have had mucho éxito as part of Bad To The Bone, but I know that what you truly wanted was for me to be a campeón en lucha. While we did not aceptar on métodos, I know your intentions meant only lo mejor para mi.
From out of nowhere, he pulls out a bottle of tequila, drains half of it in one long swig, then pours the rest on what we can pretty much infer is the grave his sidekick Mono Despiadado.
So I swear this to you, mi amigo: Big Bone will know the sabor del exito! Together with the dinosaurio no muerto Dinosaur Bones, I will defeat mis oponentes and we will become campeones en parejas de la XHF! Off The Wagon are skilful luchadores, pero ellos no son rivales for my partying ways! Similarmente, Marty Donovan will prove incapaz of forming a cohesive team with el papa de su novia, once again letting her down like the amante inferior that he is!
He looks this way and that, then blatantly looks into the camera and stage whispers
Olivia, llámame, hermosa dama...
Aside asided, he resumes standard promoing etiquette.
No importa that I have never teamed with Dinosaur Bones before! No importa that el partido will be in a pastel gigante! No importa that Big Bone has not wrestled in casi 3 años! I will honor you, mi amado amigo mono stanic! All contra mi will have their bones rattled! And that's the bottom line because NYEH HEH HEH!!!
The nearby drive-through speaker crackles to life.
Sir, this is a Wendy's.
Big Bone looks at it in confusion.
No que no es. Es un Taco Bell.
...I just wanted to do the meme.
Big Bone walks off grumbling as we fade to black
Hola mi amigo muerto. Big Bone is sorry he has not been to pay sus respetos sooner, but it was too duro, emocionalmente. Partly because due to you being uno mono malvado from the very bowels of Infierno I could not have you buried in an actual graveyard so La Iglesia de Satanás helped me arrange for you to be interred in a estacionamiento de Taco Bell...
The camera pulls back enough to reveal that he is indeed in the parking lot of a Taco Bell.
...but also I feel as though your muerte was mi culpa. If I had stayed lucha in NLW, building on my near victory for la X*Corona against Senor Dylan Black, you would not have been so Decepcionado conmigo, and so would not have done all that cocaína y had all that sexo con all those mujer hermosa y so not suffered that infarto fatal.
He shakes his head sadly.
I have had mucho éxito as part of Bad To The Bone, but I know that what you truly wanted was for me to be a campeón en lucha. While we did not aceptar on métodos, I know your intentions meant only lo mejor para mi.
From out of nowhere, he pulls out a bottle of tequila, drains half of it in one long swig, then pours the rest on what we can pretty much infer is the grave his sidekick Mono Despiadado.
So I swear this to you, mi amigo: Big Bone will know the sabor del exito! Together with the dinosaurio no muerto Dinosaur Bones, I will defeat mis oponentes and we will become campeones en parejas de la XHF! Off The Wagon are skilful luchadores, pero ellos no son rivales for my partying ways! Similarmente, Marty Donovan will prove incapaz of forming a cohesive team with el papa de su novia, once again letting her down like the amante inferior that he is!
He looks this way and that, then blatantly looks into the camera and stage whispers
Olivia, llámame, hermosa dama...
Aside asided, he resumes standard promoing etiquette.
No importa that I have never teamed with Dinosaur Bones before! No importa that el partido will be in a pastel gigante! No importa that Big Bone has not wrestled in casi 3 años! I will honor you, mi amado amigo mono stanic! All contra mi will have their bones rattled! And that's the bottom line because NYEH HEH HEH!!!
The nearby drive-through speaker crackles to life.
Sir, this is a Wendy's.
Big Bone looks at it in confusion.
No que no es. Es un Taco Bell.
...I just wanted to do the meme.
Big Bone walks off grumbling as we fade to black