Awkward Silence [Tag Team - The Skeletonics]
Jun 18, 2023 22:46:58 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, bloodiedfox, and 1 more like this
Post by mosler on Jun 18, 2023 22:46:58 GMT -5
The Treehouse of Evil...
Located in back of the Bad to the Bone Racing compound, the tree house was erected by certain members of the CAR team that desperately needed to get away from a Rooster that shall remain nameless. When Big Bone was furnishing this club, he didn’t take into account that the rope ladder entrance was would require too much reach for the resident dracolich’s tiny arms. This wasn’t a malicious oversight on Big Bone’s part; it’s just that without Lord Dominicus to act as the central figure – the other members of the Bone crew really don’t spend much time together. Fortunately his massive height allows Dinosaur Bones to enter through a window, while his size being wildly inconsistent allows him to comfortable chill in this club without falling through the floor. True to their casual acquaintance bond, the two-crew members are sitting at opposite tables. Big Bone enjoys a quiet drink, while Dinosaur Bones is thumbing through a Spider-Man comic – cheering on Curt Connors, and setting himself up for disappointment.
Just when it looks like the Lizard is finally going to be victorious, The Dread Lord is distracted by a trap door swinging open. Lord Dominicus climbs up.
LD: I signed us up for a tag title shot.
DB: THEN T IS A COVENANT! COLD BLOODS REJOICE, FOR WE WILL FEAST WELL ON THE PICKLED LIVERS OF CO-DEPENDENT BOOZE HOUNDS!
LD: ...You and Big Bone.
Wait, what?
The Dread Lord’s body language drops at this bombshell. Doing a triple take as he looks at Big Bone in the corner, before slowly bringing his undead gaze to the man he lets ride him like a horse.
DB: ...BUT YOU AND ME TRADITIONALLY TAG...
LD: Our group dominiyanmic means that one of us has to be the singles breakout star, and I’ve dominicided to take that bullet for the team.
DB: I COULD BE THE SINGLES S-
LD: You’re welcome.
DB: BUT I WANT TO TAG WITH YOU!
LD (raising a finger to his mouth): Ssssssh- (looking at Big Bone in the corner) ...you’re going to hurt his feelings. No, you two are going to win the tag titles for CAR – so get on the same page!
Having chastised the hulking mass of Dread Lord, Lord Dominicus heads off to get a manicure – like a singles star. The trap door slams shut.
DB: DOES HE THINK ME A HENCHMAN?
The tyrannosaurus skull finally shifts back over to Big Bone who is finishing his drink. Like a two-year-old that has been grounded, Bones drags his feet but finally flops down in a chair opposite Big Bone.
The tag challengers sit there awkwardly for a minute.
A minute lasts a really long time. Like Dinosaur Bones once spent thirty million years floating around an oil pit, and this feels longer.
DB: SO IT LOOKS LIKE WE ARE TAKING ON OFF THE WAGON.
BB: Si.
Oh right. The language barrier. That is why they don’t talk much. Not because Dominicus is the friend that functions as their common interest. They are perfectly capable of having their own thing. Which the XHF, CAR, even Dominicus will see when they win the tag titles! Wait, how long have they been sitting in silence? This is getting uncomfortable.
DB: EAT ANY APES RECEN-
BB: -Do you have any chantaje on these vagones?
A lifeline!
DB: WELL I ONLY JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT THE MATCH-
BB: Right.
DB: -BUT I DID WHIP UP SOMETHING DECADES AGO IN CASE THIS MATCH EVER OCCURRED.
BB: Espléndido! I am impressed by your thoroughness!
DB (easily embarrassed): AW SHUCKS – YOU’RE IMPRESSIVE TOO BIGGS, I WAS JUST TELLING TUMBLEWEED THE OTHER DAY, “WHY IF BIGGS HAD SOME MEAT ON HIS BONE I’D...”
Realizing that this story ends with Bones fantasizing about eating his new tag partner, the dracolich trails off.
DB: WHERE DID I KEEP THOSE REPORTS? OH, HERE!
Reaching into his rib cage with his tiny arm, Bones pulls out four manila envelopes. For his part, Big Bone chooses to ignore the fact that Bones was about to divulge the best way to cook him. Big Bone finds the blackmail odious and knows that they can achieve victory with their superior sizes – but hearing the dirt is a good alternative to desperately trying to make small talk.
BB: What did you desenterrar on Randy?
DB (pulling out a pair of spectacles to read): APPARENTLY... (lowers voice because this gossip is so grotesque) RANDY ANGEL HAS BEEN KNOWN... TO ENJOY A DRINK.
BB: ...
DB: ...IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
BB: ...
DB: HE DRINKS A LOT.
BB: Si.
DB: LIKE IN CASE YOU THOUGHT HE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO DRINK, MAYBE POURED IT ON HIS HEAD INSTEAD OF HIS MOUTH? YOU KNOW HOW APES ARE! WELL RANDY UNDERSTANDS WHERE TO PUT THE LIQUIDS... A LITTLE TOO WELL.
BB: And Quake?
That report took a lot of time. Bones clearly expected a bigger reaction to that Randy Angel is a drunkard bombshell. Shaking his skull, Bones turns to the next envelope.
DB (adjusting glasses): KRIS QUAKE... (looks around to make sure no one is watching) HAS A SERIOUS ILLNESS.
BB: Eso es terrible, lamento mucho escucharlo. ...Is it contagious? Not to pry, but what exactly does he have-
DB (looking closer at the file): ...ALCOHOLISM.
BB: ...
DB: IT MIGHT BE CONTAGEOUS. I KNOW WHEN APES WATCH THEIR MATCHES THEY ARE DRIVEN TO DRINK. NOT SURE IF WE CAN CATCH ALCOHOLISM FROM QUAKE IN THE RING. I EXPECT TO BE MAINLY THIRSTY FOR BLOOD... I IMAGINE IT WILL DEPEND ON HIS BLOOD ALCOHOL NUMBERS-
BB: So your only material on them is that they drink a lot.
DB: THOSE FLESHLINGS HIDE IT WELL.
BB: ...Do they though?
DB: THEY ARE CHARLATANS OF THE HIGHEST ORDER.
Does Big Bone doubt the hundreds of billable hours that the dracolich put into this investigation? Feeling attacked, Bones starts to put away his glasses.
DB: I ONLY JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS MATCH, IF I’D HAD PROPER NOTICE I-
BB (trying to be polite): No, no, está bien. Did you get anything on the other two in their current team form?
DB: IT ISN’T AS DEEP A CUT AS OFF THE WAGON-
BB: How could it be?
DB (placated, puts glasses back on): MARTY ISN’T REALLY A CARTOON. HE JUST DRESSES AS ONE. HE IS ACTUALLY AN APE, AND MOST LIKELY DELICIOUS.
BB: ...You can work with that. y Oldham?
DB: DEACON OLDHAM HAS AN DAUGHTER... (moves in closer to whisper this earth shattering piece of dirt) AND HE’S NOT OVERLY FOND OF THE MAN SHE’S SEEING.
BAM! Mic drop!
BB: ...wow.
DB: THERE’S MORE-
Finally.
DB: DESPITE THE NAME... HE IS NOT ACTUALLY A HAM.
Bones opens up a folder to show visual comparisons between Deacon and a ham dinner.
DB: WHO IS THE FLESHLING TRYING TO FOOL?
Big Bone nods.
There is that awkward silence again.
Both Bone crewmembers feel it. Lord Dominicus really is the glue that holds this team together.
DB: I... I WAS EXPECTING TO TAKE THIS SHOT WITH DOMINICUS.
BB: Lo imaginé. I think the reason he isn’t going after the belts... is that... under the mask he is actually... Kris Quake.
DB (triple take): WHAT?
BB: Piénsalo. If Dominicus was in the ring, and Quake wasn’t there, it would raise a lot of questions.
DB: THAT’S A MASK?!
BB (double take): I might be mistaken.
DB: DON’T GET ME WRONG, I'M GLAD WE’LL HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO GRIND THOSE FLESHLINGS INTO PASTE TOGETHER... AND I KNOW HE JUST WANTS US TO SUCCEED, BUT I'M WORRIED THE SIGN UP SHEET WILL HAVE US LISTED AS THE DOMINICUS REPUBLIC.
BB: We should at least choose our own name.
DB: HOUSE OF BO-
BB: Skeletonics.
DB (sniff): THAT IS GOOD TOO. (impression) ...LET ME DOMINITHINK ABOUT IT!
BB: Take a dominiminute!
Wait. It seems the fabulous leader of Bad to the Bone Racing still functions as a shared interest for his friends. The silence is soon broken by laughter, as man and beast take turns ragging on the Dark Lord...
...A dissolve suggests that hours may have passed in the making dominijokes. Over the course of the evening, the duo forging a bond that is somehow more wholesome than shared alcoholism or a highly perverse love triangle based around Ollie Oldham. How could the rest of the tag division hope to compete against these compadres?
DB: HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED HOW SOMETIMES HE UNDERSTANDS SPANISH, AND OTHER TIMES HE HAS TO THINK ABOUT IT FOR A MINUTE?
BB: Si.
“My ears are burning.”
The duo hush up, as the trap door opens again.
LD: How is the Dominicus Republic holding out?
The duo share knowing glances and shake their skulls.
DB: SKELETONICS.
What is going on here? Everyone knows that Dominicus Republic is the best tag name ever, why do they resist? Bones and Bone look at him before turning back to each other and chuckling. Oh good, they’ve bonded.
BB: Told you.
Wait, what was that?
Are those smiles, or do they look that way because they are skeletons? They are smiles. Good, that mean- wait-
OH NO, they’ve bonded...
It backfired horribly!
LD: I don’t care for this at all.
The Skeletonics laugh again. Are they mocking him? Or has Trekker accidentally led him to some mirror universe where everyone is crazy and doesn’t realize how much cooler LD is? Like Canada? The breakout singles star storms off-
LD: I have evil SINGLES things to do!
They didn’t even notice his manicure.
BB: All bromear aside, he has done a lot.
DB: AGREED. YES, WE’RE GOING TO TAKE THOSE BELTS TO CAR FOR HIM.
The two men start to work on their game plan.
DB: ...Biggs... IF QUAKE IS DOMINICUS... SHOULD WE TRY TO CURE HIS ALCOHOLISM?
BB (nodding): It is the cosa correcta to do.
...Nothing sinister about them.
Located in back of the Bad to the Bone Racing compound, the tree house was erected by certain members of the CAR team that desperately needed to get away from a Rooster that shall remain nameless. When Big Bone was furnishing this club, he didn’t take into account that the rope ladder entrance was would require too much reach for the resident dracolich’s tiny arms. This wasn’t a malicious oversight on Big Bone’s part; it’s just that without Lord Dominicus to act as the central figure – the other members of the Bone crew really don’t spend much time together. Fortunately his massive height allows Dinosaur Bones to enter through a window, while his size being wildly inconsistent allows him to comfortable chill in this club without falling through the floor. True to their casual acquaintance bond, the two-crew members are sitting at opposite tables. Big Bone enjoys a quiet drink, while Dinosaur Bones is thumbing through a Spider-Man comic – cheering on Curt Connors, and setting himself up for disappointment.
Just when it looks like the Lizard is finally going to be victorious, The Dread Lord is distracted by a trap door swinging open. Lord Dominicus climbs up.
LD: I signed us up for a tag title shot.
DB: THEN T IS A COVENANT! COLD BLOODS REJOICE, FOR WE WILL FEAST WELL ON THE PICKLED LIVERS OF CO-DEPENDENT BOOZE HOUNDS!
LD: ...You and Big Bone.
Wait, what?
The Dread Lord’s body language drops at this bombshell. Doing a triple take as he looks at Big Bone in the corner, before slowly bringing his undead gaze to the man he lets ride him like a horse.
DB: ...BUT YOU AND ME TRADITIONALLY TAG...
LD: Our group dominiyanmic means that one of us has to be the singles breakout star, and I’ve dominicided to take that bullet for the team.
DB: I COULD BE THE SINGLES S-
LD: You’re welcome.
DB: BUT I WANT TO TAG WITH YOU!
LD (raising a finger to his mouth): Ssssssh- (looking at Big Bone in the corner) ...you’re going to hurt his feelings. No, you two are going to win the tag titles for CAR – so get on the same page!
Having chastised the hulking mass of Dread Lord, Lord Dominicus heads off to get a manicure – like a singles star. The trap door slams shut.
DB: DOES HE THINK ME A HENCHMAN?
The tyrannosaurus skull finally shifts back over to Big Bone who is finishing his drink. Like a two-year-old that has been grounded, Bones drags his feet but finally flops down in a chair opposite Big Bone.
The tag challengers sit there awkwardly for a minute.
A minute lasts a really long time. Like Dinosaur Bones once spent thirty million years floating around an oil pit, and this feels longer.
DB: SO IT LOOKS LIKE WE ARE TAKING ON OFF THE WAGON.
BB: Si.
Oh right. The language barrier. That is why they don’t talk much. Not because Dominicus is the friend that functions as their common interest. They are perfectly capable of having their own thing. Which the XHF, CAR, even Dominicus will see when they win the tag titles! Wait, how long have they been sitting in silence? This is getting uncomfortable.
DB: EAT ANY APES RECEN-
BB: -Do you have any chantaje on these vagones?
A lifeline!
DB: WELL I ONLY JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT THE MATCH-
BB: Right.
DB: -BUT I DID WHIP UP SOMETHING DECADES AGO IN CASE THIS MATCH EVER OCCURRED.
BB: Espléndido! I am impressed by your thoroughness!
DB (easily embarrassed): AW SHUCKS – YOU’RE IMPRESSIVE TOO BIGGS, I WAS JUST TELLING TUMBLEWEED THE OTHER DAY, “WHY IF BIGGS HAD SOME MEAT ON HIS BONE I’D...”
Realizing that this story ends with Bones fantasizing about eating his new tag partner, the dracolich trails off.
DB: WHERE DID I KEEP THOSE REPORTS? OH, HERE!
Reaching into his rib cage with his tiny arm, Bones pulls out four manila envelopes. For his part, Big Bone chooses to ignore the fact that Bones was about to divulge the best way to cook him. Big Bone finds the blackmail odious and knows that they can achieve victory with their superior sizes – but hearing the dirt is a good alternative to desperately trying to make small talk.
BB: What did you desenterrar on Randy?
DB (pulling out a pair of spectacles to read): APPARENTLY... (lowers voice because this gossip is so grotesque) RANDY ANGEL HAS BEEN KNOWN... TO ENJOY A DRINK.
BB: ...
DB: ...IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
BB: ...
DB: HE DRINKS A LOT.
BB: Si.
DB: LIKE IN CASE YOU THOUGHT HE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO DRINK, MAYBE POURED IT ON HIS HEAD INSTEAD OF HIS MOUTH? YOU KNOW HOW APES ARE! WELL RANDY UNDERSTANDS WHERE TO PUT THE LIQUIDS... A LITTLE TOO WELL.
BB: And Quake?
That report took a lot of time. Bones clearly expected a bigger reaction to that Randy Angel is a drunkard bombshell. Shaking his skull, Bones turns to the next envelope.
DB (adjusting glasses): KRIS QUAKE... (looks around to make sure no one is watching) HAS A SERIOUS ILLNESS.
BB: Eso es terrible, lamento mucho escucharlo. ...Is it contagious? Not to pry, but what exactly does he have-
DB (looking closer at the file): ...ALCOHOLISM.
BB: ...
DB: IT MIGHT BE CONTAGEOUS. I KNOW WHEN APES WATCH THEIR MATCHES THEY ARE DRIVEN TO DRINK. NOT SURE IF WE CAN CATCH ALCOHOLISM FROM QUAKE IN THE RING. I EXPECT TO BE MAINLY THIRSTY FOR BLOOD... I IMAGINE IT WILL DEPEND ON HIS BLOOD ALCOHOL NUMBERS-
BB: So your only material on them is that they drink a lot.
DB: THOSE FLESHLINGS HIDE IT WELL.
BB: ...Do they though?
DB: THEY ARE CHARLATANS OF THE HIGHEST ORDER.
Does Big Bone doubt the hundreds of billable hours that the dracolich put into this investigation? Feeling attacked, Bones starts to put away his glasses.
DB: I ONLY JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS MATCH, IF I’D HAD PROPER NOTICE I-
BB (trying to be polite): No, no, está bien. Did you get anything on the other two in their current team form?
DB: IT ISN’T AS DEEP A CUT AS OFF THE WAGON-
BB: How could it be?
DB (placated, puts glasses back on): MARTY ISN’T REALLY A CARTOON. HE JUST DRESSES AS ONE. HE IS ACTUALLY AN APE, AND MOST LIKELY DELICIOUS.
BB: ...You can work with that. y Oldham?
DB: DEACON OLDHAM HAS AN DAUGHTER... (moves in closer to whisper this earth shattering piece of dirt) AND HE’S NOT OVERLY FOND OF THE MAN SHE’S SEEING.
BAM! Mic drop!
BB: ...wow.
DB: THERE’S MORE-
Finally.
DB: DESPITE THE NAME... HE IS NOT ACTUALLY A HAM.
Bones opens up a folder to show visual comparisons between Deacon and a ham dinner.
DB: WHO IS THE FLESHLING TRYING TO FOOL?
Big Bone nods.
There is that awkward silence again.
Both Bone crewmembers feel it. Lord Dominicus really is the glue that holds this team together.
DB: I... I WAS EXPECTING TO TAKE THIS SHOT WITH DOMINICUS.
BB: Lo imaginé. I think the reason he isn’t going after the belts... is that... under the mask he is actually... Kris Quake.
DB (triple take): WHAT?
BB: Piénsalo. If Dominicus was in the ring, and Quake wasn’t there, it would raise a lot of questions.
DB: THAT’S A MASK?!
BB (double take): I might be mistaken.
DB: DON’T GET ME WRONG, I'M GLAD WE’LL HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO GRIND THOSE FLESHLINGS INTO PASTE TOGETHER... AND I KNOW HE JUST WANTS US TO SUCCEED, BUT I'M WORRIED THE SIGN UP SHEET WILL HAVE US LISTED AS THE DOMINICUS REPUBLIC.
BB: We should at least choose our own name.
DB: HOUSE OF BO-
BB: Skeletonics.
DB (sniff): THAT IS GOOD TOO. (impression) ...LET ME DOMINITHINK ABOUT IT!
BB: Take a dominiminute!
Wait. It seems the fabulous leader of Bad to the Bone Racing still functions as a shared interest for his friends. The silence is soon broken by laughter, as man and beast take turns ragging on the Dark Lord...
...A dissolve suggests that hours may have passed in the making dominijokes. Over the course of the evening, the duo forging a bond that is somehow more wholesome than shared alcoholism or a highly perverse love triangle based around Ollie Oldham. How could the rest of the tag division hope to compete against these compadres?
DB: HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED HOW SOMETIMES HE UNDERSTANDS SPANISH, AND OTHER TIMES HE HAS TO THINK ABOUT IT FOR A MINUTE?
BB: Si.
“My ears are burning.”
The duo hush up, as the trap door opens again.
LD: How is the Dominicus Republic holding out?
The duo share knowing glances and shake their skulls.
DB: SKELETONICS.
What is going on here? Everyone knows that Dominicus Republic is the best tag name ever, why do they resist? Bones and Bone look at him before turning back to each other and chuckling. Oh good, they’ve bonded.
BB: Told you.
Wait, what was that?
Are those smiles, or do they look that way because they are skeletons? They are smiles. Good, that mean- wait-
OH NO, they’ve bonded...
It backfired horribly!
LD: I don’t care for this at all.
The Skeletonics laugh again. Are they mocking him? Or has Trekker accidentally led him to some mirror universe where everyone is crazy and doesn’t realize how much cooler LD is? Like Canada? The breakout singles star storms off-
LD: I have evil SINGLES things to do!
They didn’t even notice his manicure.
BB: All bromear aside, he has done a lot.
DB: AGREED. YES, WE’RE GOING TO TAKE THOSE BELTS TO CAR FOR HIM.
The two men start to work on their game plan.
DB: ...Biggs... IF QUAKE IS DOMINICUS... SHOULD WE TRY TO CURE HIS ALCOHOLISM?
BB (nodding): It is the cosa correcta to do.
...Nothing sinister about them.