Post by Dave D-Flipz on Jun 22, 2023 9:43:59 GMT -5
Merric: Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. It’s a common misconception.
*We hear some garbled warbling as we open on Aiden Merric, sitting inside the Sands Casino on his phone. He is waiting for his chance to go onto the stage for a pre-show press conference for Tapout 14 and is just off stage in the small side ballroom they’ve been given.*
Merric: People are full of misconceptions. Prejudices. Stereotypes.
*More warbling from the other end of the phone. A hearty chuckle from Aiden to this as he waves his arm in front of him in mock acceptance.*
Merric: Right right, yes, got me there. Sometimes they are true. But rest assured, I am not stupid. I am educated from a life of experience. I may not know how to get a derivative or what a goddamned Pythagorean is … but I know everything I need to know about life. I ain’t uneducated or stupid. So you can put your worries to bed. I’ll be done with this tosser, and then I’ll hang around gorilla for your match. You pay for my services, I stand by my abilities and my contracts.
*Aiden nods to the response on the other end of the phone.*
Merric: Right, no worries. I’ll see you at the show. You worry about the cryptid kid, I’ll worry about the creatures that go bump in the night. Or in the case of AVB, that go *he makes a fart sound*. Right, right. Later.
*He lowers the phone and presses the red button on screen, places the phone in his front pocket and lets out a laugh. He sees the camera crew there to film the event, one of whom is staring square at the expert hunter. He shifts in his chair.*
Merric: Just a bit of business to take care of mate, sorry fer that. I’m sure you lot are all anxious to hear what I have to say about that Yobbo, out here upping himself as if he’s God’s gift to the world. First and foremost, he should know fancy words from an unreliable source are as useless as tits on a bull. Allow me to clear up a few things there Lexi.
*He smirked and stood up and walked towards the cameraman, straightening out his tie, which it should be noted is around his neck while he wears his usual attire of no shirt, bandoliers, belts, and dungarees with well-worn dusty boots. He smirks as he gets into a position where the camera can really pick up his good side in the lighting from the backstage area.*
Merric: I’ve had to deal with quite a few … shall we say … preconceived notions … of what I am, ever since I debuted in AWF and competed with your bastard father. Some of them are justified, others are not. I must be a criminal because I’m an Aussie! Bulldust. I’m a criminal because I had to do what was necessary to survive and support my widowed mother until she got back on her feet after my old man bought the farm. I’m a criminal because I found I was good at it, and I could make myself a living. I’m NOT a criminal, because I got enough saved up to both buy my way out of problems, and to finally be able to take up a hobby I was actually a fan of, legally.
*He pulls on his tie and smiles with a smug satisfaction that he has been able to actually get away from, as AVB called it, Man Ass, and make himself a star. He lowers his eyes back to the camera and holds up 2 fingers.*
Merric: I grew up without a book-learning education so I must be an idiot. Tell me Lexi, since I know you have had a gilded childhood. How do you think I was ABLE to survive as long as I have while hunting the biggest game, tracking the nastiest nasties, and staying ahead of Johnny Law? An idiot, a fool, … a drongo … wouldn’t bother picking up a book, a field guide, learning some history, studying his prey, studying survival tactics, getting real practice in. I ain’t claiming to be some Da Vinci level intellect, but I ain’t no moron. And I’m more than smart enough to see through you and your taunts. As for Jack and Cross? I ain’t playing anyone. I’m getting paid. Both are more than aware of the arrangement. I work as an entertainer and superstar for one, making him money. And I work as a bodyguard and a hand for hire to defend his title and health and well-being from some of the more unsavory types in this business. I doubt Cross minds me keeping his champion healthy. And when all is said and done, who’s to say ol’ Aiden ain’t then chosen to be the one to take him down?
*A stagehand runs up and grabs Aiden to be the next up. He laughs and gives a quick nod and salute to the camera, mouthing “duty calls”. Aiden marches out onto the stage and to a podium as cameras go off, flashbulbs illuminating the Tapout backdrop. He plants his hands on the podium and smirks with that smug smile of his. He looks out at the crowd. A young kid in the front gets chosen for the first question*
Reporter 1: Mr. Merric, you had been on a bit of a losing streak going into that big match last show. But you looked very convincing in delivering the killing blow to the monster that is Sticky. How does this affect your momentum going into this next slate of shows?
Merric: Look, fella, we all know how dangerous I am in the ring. But I am still a relative greenhorn compared to some of these blokes and Sheilas. So when I get a little run of bad luck, I go back to the basics and use what got me to the game. What happened to Sticky was what should have happened in the fatal-four-way. I got my ounce of flesh from him, and a shred of Thespian’s mask to boot. I got my trophies. And I showed that ain’t no striker in this company more dangerous than ol’ Outback. And my next match isn’t against some five hundred pound mammoth, it’s against a scrawny latchkey kid with a chip on his shoulder and an ego ten times the size of what is deserved. It isn’t gonna take more than one quick assault from this arm to have him seeing whatever God he thinks blessed his greasy bastard ass.
Reporter 2: Speaking of, AVB has called you sour as spoiled milk, a never going to be, and an eco-terrorist? What do you have to say about these allegations?
*Aiden laughs and shakes his head*
Merric: Mr. von Blankenship has inherited the mouth of his father, but none of the ability to cash the checks his mouth writes. I’ve been called old a few times. Last I checked we got Death Trap and Zoran running around, and not to mention how old Sticky and the von Krauss’s claim to be. I believe my Phoenix title reigns would speak well to the second point, he would be smart to remember how I beat his father to keep that belt away from him until the GUNS decided to hot potato it to him. As for the third claim…
*Aiden pauses and thinks about how to word this.*
Merric: Why do horses and such kill more Aussies than sharks? Well for one, we don’t LIVE in the water. We don’t tame sharks to have around us at all times where accidents can happen. I can set the poor bloke up with a shark diving expedition if he wants. Free of charge. Though my shark cage is out for repairs. Oh hey, that sounds like a safety mechanism. Ever hear of a horse cage to protect from falling or getting kicked by yer stallion? Look I wouldn’t expect this sheltered child to understand the nuances of preparation and circumstances. It’s quite a complex topic, far beyond his level of comprehension. He isn’t used to having to use that thing that MAKES us the most dangerous animals … our brains. It’s ok, I won’t hold it against him when I cave his skull in with a wall hanger. It’s innovations that we make that are killing the planet. Which for the record, I’m all for hunting animals but any real bushmaster worth his salt knows to protect the planet. The true deadliest thing in the hunt is the environment itself. Poisonous plants, landslides, sinkholes, exposure, storms, floods, fires. Before he goes calling me something, maybe he should ask what the effects of all the chemicals he uses in his hair care, skin care, fancy clothes, fancy cars, and expensive hobbies are?
Reporter 3: AVB had noted that he CHOSE to face you because you were the weakest link, the easy mode for his match. What-
*Aiden lets out a gut splitting laugh and slams his hand on the podium in spasms of jollity.*
Merric: Bloody fantastic. What a fucking wombat! He chose me? Oh that makes this personal. Lexi, to quote the knight in the tomb in the Last Crusade … you have chosen … POORLY! I am going to take a perverse pleasure in giving you a tutorial on just why you don’t mess with these hands. You been calling me all these derogatory names and doubting my skill. But there ain’t nothing about me that is soft or easy. You can bet, London to a Brick, that I am going to knock your spoiled head off. His brain is clearly rooted.
*He wipes a tear from his eye*
Merric: What right ripsnorter that is. Print this in your papers: Lexi von Blankenship, is about to be Alarmingly Violently Beaten. He wants to question MY skill, MY fortitude, and talk about my little lady sitting at home recovering with her son? Well, by my word as a man, as a bushmaster, as a hunter … AVB is about to be the next big game. I’m gonna bring his teeth back to Erin as a gift for daring to speak of her. Then the only ladies he’ll be getting are the whores he pays for on the street corner. The only bush he’ll be seeing is going to be the kind that you get tested after ya mess around with it, and he’ll be paying a premium. Lexi, you want it to be about you? Contract accepted. Let me show you just how dangerous I can be.
*He storms off stage and whips out his phone. He dials a number.*
Merric: Hey Benson, let me talk to yer mum.
*We fade out*
*We hear some garbled warbling as we open on Aiden Merric, sitting inside the Sands Casino on his phone. He is waiting for his chance to go onto the stage for a pre-show press conference for Tapout 14 and is just off stage in the small side ballroom they’ve been given.*
Merric: People are full of misconceptions. Prejudices. Stereotypes.
*More warbling from the other end of the phone. A hearty chuckle from Aiden to this as he waves his arm in front of him in mock acceptance.*
Merric: Right right, yes, got me there. Sometimes they are true. But rest assured, I am not stupid. I am educated from a life of experience. I may not know how to get a derivative or what a goddamned Pythagorean is … but I know everything I need to know about life. I ain’t uneducated or stupid. So you can put your worries to bed. I’ll be done with this tosser, and then I’ll hang around gorilla for your match. You pay for my services, I stand by my abilities and my contracts.
*Aiden nods to the response on the other end of the phone.*
Merric: Right, no worries. I’ll see you at the show. You worry about the cryptid kid, I’ll worry about the creatures that go bump in the night. Or in the case of AVB, that go *he makes a fart sound*. Right, right. Later.
*He lowers the phone and presses the red button on screen, places the phone in his front pocket and lets out a laugh. He sees the camera crew there to film the event, one of whom is staring square at the expert hunter. He shifts in his chair.*
Merric: Just a bit of business to take care of mate, sorry fer that. I’m sure you lot are all anxious to hear what I have to say about that Yobbo, out here upping himself as if he’s God’s gift to the world. First and foremost, he should know fancy words from an unreliable source are as useless as tits on a bull. Allow me to clear up a few things there Lexi.
*He smirked and stood up and walked towards the cameraman, straightening out his tie, which it should be noted is around his neck while he wears his usual attire of no shirt, bandoliers, belts, and dungarees with well-worn dusty boots. He smirks as he gets into a position where the camera can really pick up his good side in the lighting from the backstage area.*
Merric: I’ve had to deal with quite a few … shall we say … preconceived notions … of what I am, ever since I debuted in AWF and competed with your bastard father. Some of them are justified, others are not. I must be a criminal because I’m an Aussie! Bulldust. I’m a criminal because I had to do what was necessary to survive and support my widowed mother until she got back on her feet after my old man bought the farm. I’m a criminal because I found I was good at it, and I could make myself a living. I’m NOT a criminal, because I got enough saved up to both buy my way out of problems, and to finally be able to take up a hobby I was actually a fan of, legally.
*He pulls on his tie and smiles with a smug satisfaction that he has been able to actually get away from, as AVB called it, Man Ass, and make himself a star. He lowers his eyes back to the camera and holds up 2 fingers.*
Merric: I grew up without a book-learning education so I must be an idiot. Tell me Lexi, since I know you have had a gilded childhood. How do you think I was ABLE to survive as long as I have while hunting the biggest game, tracking the nastiest nasties, and staying ahead of Johnny Law? An idiot, a fool, … a drongo … wouldn’t bother picking up a book, a field guide, learning some history, studying his prey, studying survival tactics, getting real practice in. I ain’t claiming to be some Da Vinci level intellect, but I ain’t no moron. And I’m more than smart enough to see through you and your taunts. As for Jack and Cross? I ain’t playing anyone. I’m getting paid. Both are more than aware of the arrangement. I work as an entertainer and superstar for one, making him money. And I work as a bodyguard and a hand for hire to defend his title and health and well-being from some of the more unsavory types in this business. I doubt Cross minds me keeping his champion healthy. And when all is said and done, who’s to say ol’ Aiden ain’t then chosen to be the one to take him down?
*A stagehand runs up and grabs Aiden to be the next up. He laughs and gives a quick nod and salute to the camera, mouthing “duty calls”. Aiden marches out onto the stage and to a podium as cameras go off, flashbulbs illuminating the Tapout backdrop. He plants his hands on the podium and smirks with that smug smile of his. He looks out at the crowd. A young kid in the front gets chosen for the first question*
Reporter 1: Mr. Merric, you had been on a bit of a losing streak going into that big match last show. But you looked very convincing in delivering the killing blow to the monster that is Sticky. How does this affect your momentum going into this next slate of shows?
Merric: Look, fella, we all know how dangerous I am in the ring. But I am still a relative greenhorn compared to some of these blokes and Sheilas. So when I get a little run of bad luck, I go back to the basics and use what got me to the game. What happened to Sticky was what should have happened in the fatal-four-way. I got my ounce of flesh from him, and a shred of Thespian’s mask to boot. I got my trophies. And I showed that ain’t no striker in this company more dangerous than ol’ Outback. And my next match isn’t against some five hundred pound mammoth, it’s against a scrawny latchkey kid with a chip on his shoulder and an ego ten times the size of what is deserved. It isn’t gonna take more than one quick assault from this arm to have him seeing whatever God he thinks blessed his greasy bastard ass.
Reporter 2: Speaking of, AVB has called you sour as spoiled milk, a never going to be, and an eco-terrorist? What do you have to say about these allegations?
*Aiden laughs and shakes his head*
Merric: Mr. von Blankenship has inherited the mouth of his father, but none of the ability to cash the checks his mouth writes. I’ve been called old a few times. Last I checked we got Death Trap and Zoran running around, and not to mention how old Sticky and the von Krauss’s claim to be. I believe my Phoenix title reigns would speak well to the second point, he would be smart to remember how I beat his father to keep that belt away from him until the GUNS decided to hot potato it to him. As for the third claim…
*Aiden pauses and thinks about how to word this.*
Merric: Why do horses and such kill more Aussies than sharks? Well for one, we don’t LIVE in the water. We don’t tame sharks to have around us at all times where accidents can happen. I can set the poor bloke up with a shark diving expedition if he wants. Free of charge. Though my shark cage is out for repairs. Oh hey, that sounds like a safety mechanism. Ever hear of a horse cage to protect from falling or getting kicked by yer stallion? Look I wouldn’t expect this sheltered child to understand the nuances of preparation and circumstances. It’s quite a complex topic, far beyond his level of comprehension. He isn’t used to having to use that thing that MAKES us the most dangerous animals … our brains. It’s ok, I won’t hold it against him when I cave his skull in with a wall hanger. It’s innovations that we make that are killing the planet. Which for the record, I’m all for hunting animals but any real bushmaster worth his salt knows to protect the planet. The true deadliest thing in the hunt is the environment itself. Poisonous plants, landslides, sinkholes, exposure, storms, floods, fires. Before he goes calling me something, maybe he should ask what the effects of all the chemicals he uses in his hair care, skin care, fancy clothes, fancy cars, and expensive hobbies are?
Reporter 3: AVB had noted that he CHOSE to face you because you were the weakest link, the easy mode for his match. What-
*Aiden lets out a gut splitting laugh and slams his hand on the podium in spasms of jollity.*
Merric: Bloody fantastic. What a fucking wombat! He chose me? Oh that makes this personal. Lexi, to quote the knight in the tomb in the Last Crusade … you have chosen … POORLY! I am going to take a perverse pleasure in giving you a tutorial on just why you don’t mess with these hands. You been calling me all these derogatory names and doubting my skill. But there ain’t nothing about me that is soft or easy. You can bet, London to a Brick, that I am going to knock your spoiled head off. His brain is clearly rooted.
*He wipes a tear from his eye*
Merric: What right ripsnorter that is. Print this in your papers: Lexi von Blankenship, is about to be Alarmingly Violently Beaten. He wants to question MY skill, MY fortitude, and talk about my little lady sitting at home recovering with her son? Well, by my word as a man, as a bushmaster, as a hunter … AVB is about to be the next big game. I’m gonna bring his teeth back to Erin as a gift for daring to speak of her. Then the only ladies he’ll be getting are the whores he pays for on the street corner. The only bush he’ll be seeing is going to be the kind that you get tested after ya mess around with it, and he’ll be paying a premium. Lexi, you want it to be about you? Contract accepted. Let me show you just how dangerous I can be.
*He storms off stage and whips out his phone. He dials a number.*
Merric: Hey Benson, let me talk to yer mum.
*We fade out*