Post by Visit Neom on Jul 9, 2023 8:55:23 GMT -5
(North Carolina. A few hours after the Sippy Cup. Deacon Oldham swaggers into a Red Robin, wearing his new XHF championship belt. A server steps in his path.)
Server: I’m sorry, sir. No outside food is allowed.
(He is confused until the server wipes the remnants of the cake match from Deacon’s mustache. He joins George Lucas in a booth. Deacon takes out a redaction marker and black out various items on the menu.)
George: What are you doing?
Deacon: Just removing the foreign beers. Where are Sam and Diane?
George: They’re arguing in the parking lot. Olivia is chewing him out like a starving rancour.
Deacon: Good. That coward tried to skip our match.
George: Well, I don’t think he was scared. It was just a no-win situation.
(Deacon gives a confused look as he grabs the menus from the booth behind him.)
George: The stuff Ollie kept saying to him. Her being too nervous to focus on the Sippy cup with you wrestling, how Marty is always selfish, that putting an untrained family member in danger is something she could never forgive.
(Deacon rolls his eyes and redacts more beverages.)
George: Meanwhile, you were insisting that the tag match was his last chance to earn a modicum of your respect. Obviously, he was conflicted even before you imitated a chicken.
(Olivia joins them, still wearing her racing jumpsuit and bronze medal. She looks miserable.)
Deacon: Where’s your little girlfriend?
Ollie: Marty’s not feeling well. I think he was rocked by one of Randy Angel’s punches.
Deacon: Randy Angel doesn't know how to throw a punch. Sweetie, what's actually going on?
(Olivia bites her lip to keep from crying. George studies her like a jedi master.)
George: Ollie, was this your last straw? Did you break up with Marty?
(Ollie buries her face and starts sobbing. Deacon places a hand on her shoulder.)
Deacon: Pumpkin, I had no idea…
(Deacon leaps to his feet and raises the tag title belt high in the air.)
Deacon:…THAT THIS WOULD BE THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE! I AM BUYING EVERYONE IN HERE SOME CHEESY MOZZARELLA TWISTS! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
(George taps Ollie on the shoulder.)
George: Do you need me to eat your twists?
(Cut to later that week. Olivia, still looking rather depressed, walks into the Reedy Creek garage. The walls are now covered in graffiti. From the shadows she hears the repeated clinking of beer bottles.)
George: Reedy Creek, come out to play! Reedy Creek, come out to play!
(George Lucas emerges from the darkness, he is wearing an iconic shirtless costume and has three beer bottles stuck to his fingers.)
Ollie: George? Why are you dressed as one of the village people?
George: To prepare you for the Silicone Cup. Normally, a dumb mountain girl wouldn’t stand a chance in New York City. Thankfully you have me, who grew up in the concrete jungle of Modesto.
Ollie: Honestly, I don't know if I'm even in the right mindset to race this month.
George: Move on, sister! I bet Marty is already partying on a boat full of supermodels.
(Jump cut to EPCOT and a miserable looking, black out drunk Marty. He is dressed as Star-Lord and his limp body is being carried away by Goofy. The Fab Five mascots walk towards the camera in a straight line while Rainbow’s cover of Since You've Been Gone plays on Marty's Walkman.)
(Cut to the Territory Lounge, a rustic, lodge-like restaurant. A pleased Deacon sits at the bar with his XHF title over his shoulder. A bartender cleans a glass.)
Deacon: I bet my ex-wife is kicking herself! This championship is a new lease on life. Before I used to just mope around the house, eat stale Funyuns and watch reruns of Airwolf. Now I am the cock of the walk!
Bartender: Congratulations, sir.
Deacon: You know, as far as Disney goes, this Wilderness Lodge ain't half bad. My daughter should be looking for a husband here. What are the requirements to stay in this hotel, a bowhunter certification?
Bartender: Just a credit card.
(Back at the garage, George and a confused Olivia have just finished watching The Warriors.)
George: I hope you learned a lot from that film, especially about having an escape route to Coney Island.
Ollie: I don't understand what any of that has to do with the race at Night of Champions.
George: You didn't see any parallels with the Cyrus character? He's a loud mouth, pompous, incompetent leader who called a meeting in New York. The power hungry fool actually believed he was capable of unifying a bunch of bloodthirsty gangs.
Ollie: How does that possibly…oh, he is totally Mongo.
(Cut to a depressed Marty, sitting on a bench in Fantasyland. He stares at Rapunzel's tower in the distance. Loud southern rock music is heard and the crowd scatters as Florida Man pulls up in a red sports car. Two old ladies sit in the back seat.)
Florida Man: Marty, I hear that you're in the dumps. Well, call me Eddie Money! I've got two tickets to paradise, specifically, the early bird special at Red Lobster with these fine ladies.
Marty: Thanks, but I’m not ready yet. Ollie only just broke up with me.
Florida Man: What!?! Nobody told me you guys broke up! Here I was being all discreet like!
(Florida Man lowers the top on his convertible and turns the music up louder. Marty walks away.)
(Cut back to the garage, the remake of West Side Story plays in the background as George scolds Ollie, who is not in the frame.)
George: Olivia, watching these films about NYC is your only shot at the Silicone Cup. Enough of the dumb ideas. Learning about Manhattan traffic patterns is ridiculous. Do you want to finish last? Everyone will think you're a total clown!
(The camera pans over to Olivia, who George has dressed as a Baseball Fury.)
(We see Marty enter the Territory Lounge. Deacon gives him a shit eating grin.)
Deacon: Well, if it isn't the eligible Mr. EPCOT. I’d recommend leaving. My daughter will be here any minute and she is in no mood to see your ugly mug.
(Marty hands over his title belt.)
Marty: I don't have the heart for wrestling. You should team with Dan Stein. He’s another mustachioed outdoorsmen with a harpoon gun fetish.
Deacon: Is quitting wrestling wise? Walt ain't keeping you here for your intellect.
Marty: I'm not staying with Disney. The entire park is a bad memory now. Honestly, I don't feel like doing anything at all.
(Deacon suddenly looks guilty.)
Deacon: Just gonna mope around the house, eat stale Funyuns, and watch Airwolf reruns?
(Marty gives a nod then places a thick document on the bar.)
Marty: Can you give this to Olivia?
(Marty exits. Deacon studies the document for a moment. Conflicted, he punches himself in the face repeatedly.)
Deacon: Stop. Feeling. Human. Emotions.
(Olivia, no longer in clown makeup, enters from the other direction.)
Ollie: Dad?
Deacon: You just missed Marty. He left you something.
(Olivia looks at the document. It is the legal paperwork to give her ownership of Reedy Creek Racing. A sticky note on it reads “I am sorry that Fox was right about me”. Deacon watches his daughter grow even sadder and he sighs.)
Deacon: Listen, this is all my fault. I was the one who cost you the Sippy Cup and goaded Marty into the tag team match. The only reason he even called me was because you were worried. Marty is an idiot, but he was trying to help. None of this would have even happened if I wasn't pouting about your mom dating that creep who is way too fascinated with animals.
Ollie: The term is veterinarian.
Deacon: Disgusting. Look, if you're going to be mad at someone then be mad at me. Believe it or not, I just want you to be happy. It's not my decision, but I honestly think you should give Marty Donovan a second chance.
Ollie: Did you actually just say that?
Deacon: The air conditioner is loud. You'll never prove it.
Ollie: I’ll be right back.
(Ollie hugs her father and goes to look for Marty. Deacon sighs into his beer.)
Deacon: I've gone soft in my old age.
(The tag champion continues to drink alone. He doesn’t notice the legal document sliding across the bar counter. Within a few seconds, ownership of Reedy Creek Racing is snatched away by the little hands of an orphan.)
Server: I’m sorry, sir. No outside food is allowed.
(He is confused until the server wipes the remnants of the cake match from Deacon’s mustache. He joins George Lucas in a booth. Deacon takes out a redaction marker and black out various items on the menu.)
George: What are you doing?
Deacon: Just removing the foreign beers. Where are Sam and Diane?
George: They’re arguing in the parking lot. Olivia is chewing him out like a starving rancour.
Deacon: Good. That coward tried to skip our match.
George: Well, I don’t think he was scared. It was just a no-win situation.
(Deacon gives a confused look as he grabs the menus from the booth behind him.)
George: The stuff Ollie kept saying to him. Her being too nervous to focus on the Sippy cup with you wrestling, how Marty is always selfish, that putting an untrained family member in danger is something she could never forgive.
(Deacon rolls his eyes and redacts more beverages.)
George: Meanwhile, you were insisting that the tag match was his last chance to earn a modicum of your respect. Obviously, he was conflicted even before you imitated a chicken.
(Olivia joins them, still wearing her racing jumpsuit and bronze medal. She looks miserable.)
Deacon: Where’s your little girlfriend?
Ollie: Marty’s not feeling well. I think he was rocked by one of Randy Angel’s punches.
Deacon: Randy Angel doesn't know how to throw a punch. Sweetie, what's actually going on?
(Olivia bites her lip to keep from crying. George studies her like a jedi master.)
George: Ollie, was this your last straw? Did you break up with Marty?
(Ollie buries her face and starts sobbing. Deacon places a hand on her shoulder.)
Deacon: Pumpkin, I had no idea…
(Deacon leaps to his feet and raises the tag title belt high in the air.)
Deacon:…THAT THIS WOULD BE THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE! I AM BUYING EVERYONE IN HERE SOME CHEESY MOZZARELLA TWISTS! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
(George taps Ollie on the shoulder.)
George: Do you need me to eat your twists?
(Cut to later that week. Olivia, still looking rather depressed, walks into the Reedy Creek garage. The walls are now covered in graffiti. From the shadows she hears the repeated clinking of beer bottles.)
George: Reedy Creek, come out to play! Reedy Creek, come out to play!
(George Lucas emerges from the darkness, he is wearing an iconic shirtless costume and has three beer bottles stuck to his fingers.)
Ollie: George? Why are you dressed as one of the village people?
George: To prepare you for the Silicone Cup. Normally, a dumb mountain girl wouldn’t stand a chance in New York City. Thankfully you have me, who grew up in the concrete jungle of Modesto.
Ollie: Honestly, I don't know if I'm even in the right mindset to race this month.
George: Move on, sister! I bet Marty is already partying on a boat full of supermodels.
(Jump cut to EPCOT and a miserable looking, black out drunk Marty. He is dressed as Star-Lord and his limp body is being carried away by Goofy. The Fab Five mascots walk towards the camera in a straight line while Rainbow’s cover of Since You've Been Gone plays on Marty's Walkman.)
(Cut to the Territory Lounge, a rustic, lodge-like restaurant. A pleased Deacon sits at the bar with his XHF title over his shoulder. A bartender cleans a glass.)
Deacon: I bet my ex-wife is kicking herself! This championship is a new lease on life. Before I used to just mope around the house, eat stale Funyuns and watch reruns of Airwolf. Now I am the cock of the walk!
Bartender: Congratulations, sir.
Deacon: You know, as far as Disney goes, this Wilderness Lodge ain't half bad. My daughter should be looking for a husband here. What are the requirements to stay in this hotel, a bowhunter certification?
Bartender: Just a credit card.
(Back at the garage, George and a confused Olivia have just finished watching The Warriors.)
George: I hope you learned a lot from that film, especially about having an escape route to Coney Island.
Ollie: I don't understand what any of that has to do with the race at Night of Champions.
George: You didn't see any parallels with the Cyrus character? He's a loud mouth, pompous, incompetent leader who called a meeting in New York. The power hungry fool actually believed he was capable of unifying a bunch of bloodthirsty gangs.
Ollie: How does that possibly…oh, he is totally Mongo.
(Cut to a depressed Marty, sitting on a bench in Fantasyland. He stares at Rapunzel's tower in the distance. Loud southern rock music is heard and the crowd scatters as Florida Man pulls up in a red sports car. Two old ladies sit in the back seat.)
Florida Man: Marty, I hear that you're in the dumps. Well, call me Eddie Money! I've got two tickets to paradise, specifically, the early bird special at Red Lobster with these fine ladies.
Marty: Thanks, but I’m not ready yet. Ollie only just broke up with me.
Florida Man: What!?! Nobody told me you guys broke up! Here I was being all discreet like!
(Florida Man lowers the top on his convertible and turns the music up louder. Marty walks away.)
(Cut back to the garage, the remake of West Side Story plays in the background as George scolds Ollie, who is not in the frame.)
George: Olivia, watching these films about NYC is your only shot at the Silicone Cup. Enough of the dumb ideas. Learning about Manhattan traffic patterns is ridiculous. Do you want to finish last? Everyone will think you're a total clown!
(The camera pans over to Olivia, who George has dressed as a Baseball Fury.)
(We see Marty enter the Territory Lounge. Deacon gives him a shit eating grin.)
Deacon: Well, if it isn't the eligible Mr. EPCOT. I’d recommend leaving. My daughter will be here any minute and she is in no mood to see your ugly mug.
(Marty hands over his title belt.)
Marty: I don't have the heart for wrestling. You should team with Dan Stein. He’s another mustachioed outdoorsmen with a harpoon gun fetish.
Deacon: Is quitting wrestling wise? Walt ain't keeping you here for your intellect.
Marty: I'm not staying with Disney. The entire park is a bad memory now. Honestly, I don't feel like doing anything at all.
(Deacon suddenly looks guilty.)
Deacon: Just gonna mope around the house, eat stale Funyuns, and watch Airwolf reruns?
(Marty gives a nod then places a thick document on the bar.)
Marty: Can you give this to Olivia?
(Marty exits. Deacon studies the document for a moment. Conflicted, he punches himself in the face repeatedly.)
Deacon: Stop. Feeling. Human. Emotions.
(Olivia, no longer in clown makeup, enters from the other direction.)
Ollie: Dad?
Deacon: You just missed Marty. He left you something.
(Olivia looks at the document. It is the legal paperwork to give her ownership of Reedy Creek Racing. A sticky note on it reads “I am sorry that Fox was right about me”. Deacon watches his daughter grow even sadder and he sighs.)
Deacon: Listen, this is all my fault. I was the one who cost you the Sippy Cup and goaded Marty into the tag team match. The only reason he even called me was because you were worried. Marty is an idiot, but he was trying to help. None of this would have even happened if I wasn't pouting about your mom dating that creep who is way too fascinated with animals.
Ollie: The term is veterinarian.
Deacon: Disgusting. Look, if you're going to be mad at someone then be mad at me. Believe it or not, I just want you to be happy. It's not my decision, but I honestly think you should give Marty Donovan a second chance.
Ollie: Did you actually just say that?
Deacon: The air conditioner is loud. You'll never prove it.
Ollie: I’ll be right back.
(Ollie hugs her father and goes to look for Marty. Deacon sighs into his beer.)
Deacon: I've gone soft in my old age.
(The tag champion continues to drink alone. He doesn’t notice the legal document sliding across the bar counter. Within a few seconds, ownership of Reedy Creek Racing is snatched away by the little hands of an orphan.)