Post by Dave D-Flipz on Jul 12, 2023 13:34:41 GMT -5
A huge thanks to Hunter and Bailey for the use of their characters and their input on them! THANKS!
Brayden: Man, what’s happening online right now?
*A familiar looking meme boi, DTF’s own Brayden Duncan, appears on screen and sits down at a laptop. He opens it up and lounges back in his seat as he finds something to pique his interest. He scrolls through some reddit forums, checks the twitter, the threads, and whatever else is hip when he finds references to a cultofdoof.com*
Brayden: Well hey! That sounds like the perfect meme spot!
*He opens the link and sees a heading for the weekly meeting later today and to prepare with the video embedded. Curious, he clicks play.*
*After three loops he just cocks an eyebrow.*
Brayden: Ok, not bad but I can do better than that! I got a few minutes to really spruce this up. The Doof will be proud! Hey the URL is up for renewal and they didn’t pay it yet. Opportunity!
*He cracks his knuckles … and hacks into the site.*
“DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPORATED!!”
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: GENTLEMEN! The time has finally come. We have reached the critical mass of cultists needed to enact our plan. Soon … we will return to the tri-state area … for the SILICONE CUP!
Billy: MY BOO-
*Doof slaps Billy in the back of the head.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: NONE OF THAT!
*The scene is once again inside the DEI HQ in the tri-state area. At the round table in the AMC Garage sits the usual suspects, Doof the owner at the head of the table with his driver, Billy, to his right. PHROOOAGGH the Relentless sits next to him, across the table on Doof’s left are Ovi, the mechanic, and Ian, the weapon expert. At the foot of the table stands Norm the normal human, a twelve foot tall mech. They are all in high spirits as this race is finally in their own backyard, and all their plans have worked mostly well … minus all the losing.*
Norm the Normal Human: It sure is nice to finally have a race here at home! I made cookies to commemorate the occasion!
*The cookies are on a HUGE Norm sized plate, labeled “Bribery”, and feature images of all the CAR cars, as well as Memaw and Uncle. There’s even one with trees on it for the Forest Force. Just one though.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: YES! Indeed, the ENTIRE CAR COMMITTEE will be powerless to stop our plans when we march into New York with a fan club TWO MILLION STRONG, with such powerful members as Cross Recoba and the Hurricane! And this will seal it. Who could wrongfully say we lost when they are presented with enough cookies for every fan in attendance AS WELL as every person who is part of CAR AND the New York Traffic. Billy … be sure to have some cookies to use to bribe the traffic to part ways like the Red Sea.
Billy: *crumbs tumble from his mouth* MM-ure ting!
Ovi: Stop eating our strategy you twit!
Phroooaggh: Will Memaw allow you to hand out cookies or is that considered a modification?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: PSSHAW like she even knows our modifications anyway. She’ll be too busy eating cookies and keeping our MILLIONS of CULTISTS happy! Bribery AND Blackmail … let’s see the wanna-be power ranger villain team top THAT!
Ian: We uh, just have one more, heh, cult meeting to get through. Surely, the boost of another video blast will um, seal their loyalty to us.
Ovi: Yes, with one more viewing the ORIGINAL members will be permanently indoctrinated to our cause without the need to top up the hypnosis every week.
Billy: So the plan is to have our millions of minions descend on the CAR viewing area to force Memaw to call us the winners, while bribing everyone with cookies. And using our knowledge of the area to our advantage we should have no problems overcoming the traffic and three other racers. Ollie, Terrycat, and Indy should be cake for us! And if not … we still have the indoctrinator to use in race on the other racers AND traffic!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: *wipes a tear from his eyes* Gentlemen, I have never been so proud and happy with how successful we have been. This race, the trophy, and the next Sippy Cup … SHALL BE OURS!
*They all cheer as Norm pushes a button and loads up the computer for Doof to lead the meeting. But when he opens up cultofdoof.com …*
Norm the Normal Human: Hey boss … I can’t access the site running tools. It’s like somebody else has control of the site.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: … What? But that’s not possible!
Billy: Yeah Ovi paid the website registration fee last week!
Ovi: Uh no, that was Ian.
Ian: Doof is the money guy, uh, surely he paid for it.
*They all look at each other and Doof stands up straight.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: … oh … no …
*They load up the site and the entire site is decorated with images of everyone’s favorite God-tier beaver pokemon. The site now reads in HUGE block letters CULT OF BIDOOF!*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: NOOOO! No no! Not that! Another semi-aquatic mammal! THIS CANNOT BE! CURSE YOU DOOFY THE BIDOOF!
Billy: Wait there’s still a cult recruitment video! We still have a chance, just lead the meeting with that!
*Doof clicks the button to appear livestreaming and millions pop in as viewers almost like they were programmed to be online.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, please ignore the décor, it seems we have a hacker and rest assured whoever this … Meme Boi … is he will suffer for daring to deface the site of your beloved AMC! But let us open our meeting with the recruitment video and reassert our loyalties to us!
*He clicks play and …*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: No .. wait this isn’t … it will break the hypnosis! NO!
Sonic: Whoa… well this is an inspiring video! I suddenly feel a need for a run and a chili dog. Woop woo- nah nah. Gotta go fast!
Hurricane: Hey this isn’t the usual weekly entertainment! I’m certainly not subscribing to THIS anymore. They changed … WHASSUP WIT DAT!?
Purricane: Mew?
Cross Recoba: Hmm … I’m sure it’s just canapés and cocktails. The main event will pop on soon. WOOP WOOP!
*Cross sips from his novelty AMC early backer’s goblet and crazy straw and eats Doof Floof brand Marshmallow fluff and peanut butter finger sandwiches.*
*Doof crumples to his knees as he watches the viewer count fall, posts on the forums all switch to Pokémon discussion, and the counter of renewing monthly autopayments signed up drops down to ten.*
Billy: Man … who would ever suspect that a group of nerdy science types working in a basement trying to control discourse through anger would be beaten, outsmarted, and eluded by beaver…
*beat*
Ovi: Well … we can still at least try and win the race the old fashioned way … bribery, blackmail, and modifications …
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: NORM WHY!?
*Norm is now painting a big Bidoof onto the roof of the Chemistruckinator.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: My plans … RUINED! We had the tri-state area and all of CAR in our grasp! BWAAAAAAAAAAAH! Why can’t I ever just win one!?
*Doof begins to cry and Norm tries to pat him on the back and sends him face first into the wall where his face now juts out through the wall and is perfectly centered as the face of a graffiti’d bidoof on the wall. He cries*
1. How will your driver react to a red light?
Billy: BEEP BEEP MOTHER TRUCKERS! Chemical weapons away!
2. How will your crew respond to rude shouts or honks when in NYC traffic?
Billy: NO YOOOOOUR MOTHER IS A BEAVER! How rude you all are!
3. An unexpected Thunderstorm has blown in. How will your crew respond?
Ovi: Surely our ablative armor and chemical engine will counter the fact our car is unpainted ferro-magnetic metal …
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Billy: *sobs* MY BOOB! FINALLY! …. Now I need a complete set …
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: CURSE YOU DOOFY THE BIDOOF! AND MARY THE MEMAW!
THE DIAMOND TRAINING FACILITY - BACKSTAGE
Brayden: Man, what’s happening online right now?
*A familiar looking meme boi, DTF’s own Brayden Duncan, appears on screen and sits down at a laptop. He opens it up and lounges back in his seat as he finds something to pique his interest. He scrolls through some reddit forums, checks the twitter, the threads, and whatever else is hip when he finds references to a cultofdoof.com*
Brayden: Well hey! That sounds like the perfect meme spot!
*He opens the link and sees a heading for the weekly meeting later today and to prepare with the video embedded. Curious, he clicks play.*
*After three loops he just cocks an eyebrow.*
Brayden: Ok, not bad but I can do better than that! I got a few minutes to really spruce this up. The Doof will be proud! Hey the URL is up for renewal and they didn’t pay it yet. Opportunity!
*He cracks his knuckles … and hacks into the site.*
“DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPORATED!!”
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: GENTLEMEN! The time has finally come. We have reached the critical mass of cultists needed to enact our plan. Soon … we will return to the tri-state area … for the SILICONE CUP!
Billy: MY BOO-
*Doof slaps Billy in the back of the head.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: NONE OF THAT!
*The scene is once again inside the DEI HQ in the tri-state area. At the round table in the AMC Garage sits the usual suspects, Doof the owner at the head of the table with his driver, Billy, to his right. PHROOOAGGH the Relentless sits next to him, across the table on Doof’s left are Ovi, the mechanic, and Ian, the weapon expert. At the foot of the table stands Norm the normal human, a twelve foot tall mech. They are all in high spirits as this race is finally in their own backyard, and all their plans have worked mostly well … minus all the losing.*
Norm the Normal Human: It sure is nice to finally have a race here at home! I made cookies to commemorate the occasion!
*The cookies are on a HUGE Norm sized plate, labeled “Bribery”, and feature images of all the CAR cars, as well as Memaw and Uncle. There’s even one with trees on it for the Forest Force. Just one though.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: YES! Indeed, the ENTIRE CAR COMMITTEE will be powerless to stop our plans when we march into New York with a fan club TWO MILLION STRONG, with such powerful members as Cross Recoba and the Hurricane! And this will seal it. Who could wrongfully say we lost when they are presented with enough cookies for every fan in attendance AS WELL as every person who is part of CAR AND the New York Traffic. Billy … be sure to have some cookies to use to bribe the traffic to part ways like the Red Sea.
Billy: *crumbs tumble from his mouth* MM-ure ting!
Ovi: Stop eating our strategy you twit!
Phroooaggh: Will Memaw allow you to hand out cookies or is that considered a modification?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: PSSHAW like she even knows our modifications anyway. She’ll be too busy eating cookies and keeping our MILLIONS of CULTISTS happy! Bribery AND Blackmail … let’s see the wanna-be power ranger villain team top THAT!
Ian: We uh, just have one more, heh, cult meeting to get through. Surely, the boost of another video blast will um, seal their loyalty to us.
Ovi: Yes, with one more viewing the ORIGINAL members will be permanently indoctrinated to our cause without the need to top up the hypnosis every week.
Billy: So the plan is to have our millions of minions descend on the CAR viewing area to force Memaw to call us the winners, while bribing everyone with cookies. And using our knowledge of the area to our advantage we should have no problems overcoming the traffic and three other racers. Ollie, Terrycat, and Indy should be cake for us! And if not … we still have the indoctrinator to use in race on the other racers AND traffic!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: *wipes a tear from his eyes* Gentlemen, I have never been so proud and happy with how successful we have been. This race, the trophy, and the next Sippy Cup … SHALL BE OURS!
*They all cheer as Norm pushes a button and loads up the computer for Doof to lead the meeting. But when he opens up cultofdoof.com …*
Norm the Normal Human: Hey boss … I can’t access the site running tools. It’s like somebody else has control of the site.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: … What? But that’s not possible!
Billy: Yeah Ovi paid the website registration fee last week!
Ovi: Uh no, that was Ian.
Ian: Doof is the money guy, uh, surely he paid for it.
*They all look at each other and Doof stands up straight.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: … oh … no …
*They load up the site and the entire site is decorated with images of everyone’s favorite God-tier beaver pokemon. The site now reads in HUGE block letters CULT OF BIDOOF!*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: NOOOO! No no! Not that! Another semi-aquatic mammal! THIS CANNOT BE! CURSE YOU DOOFY THE BIDOOF!
Billy: Wait there’s still a cult recruitment video! We still have a chance, just lead the meeting with that!
*Doof clicks the button to appear livestreaming and millions pop in as viewers almost like they were programmed to be online.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, please ignore the décor, it seems we have a hacker and rest assured whoever this … Meme Boi … is he will suffer for daring to deface the site of your beloved AMC! But let us open our meeting with the recruitment video and reassert our loyalties to us!
*He clicks play and …*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: No .. wait this isn’t … it will break the hypnosis! NO!
Sonic: Whoa… well this is an inspiring video! I suddenly feel a need for a run and a chili dog. Woop woo- nah nah. Gotta go fast!
Hurricane: Hey this isn’t the usual weekly entertainment! I’m certainly not subscribing to THIS anymore. They changed … WHASSUP WIT DAT!?
Purricane: Mew?
Cross Recoba: Hmm … I’m sure it’s just canapés and cocktails. The main event will pop on soon. WOOP WOOP!
*Cross sips from his novelty AMC early backer’s goblet and crazy straw and eats Doof Floof brand Marshmallow fluff and peanut butter finger sandwiches.*
*Doof crumples to his knees as he watches the viewer count fall, posts on the forums all switch to Pokémon discussion, and the counter of renewing monthly autopayments signed up drops down to ten.*
Billy: Man … who would ever suspect that a group of nerdy science types working in a basement trying to control discourse through anger would be beaten, outsmarted, and eluded by beaver…
*beat*
Ovi: Well … we can still at least try and win the race the old fashioned way … bribery, blackmail, and modifications …
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: NORM WHY!?
*Norm is now painting a big Bidoof onto the roof of the Chemistruckinator.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: My plans … RUINED! We had the tri-state area and all of CAR in our grasp! BWAAAAAAAAAAAH! Why can’t I ever just win one!?
*Doof begins to cry and Norm tries to pat him on the back and sends him face first into the wall where his face now juts out through the wall and is perfectly centered as the face of a graffiti’d bidoof on the wall. He cries*
1. How will your driver react to a red light?
Billy: BEEP BEEP MOTHER TRUCKERS! Chemical weapons away!
2. How will your crew respond to rude shouts or honks when in NYC traffic?
Billy: NO YOOOOOUR MOTHER IS A BEAVER! How rude you all are!
3. An unexpected Thunderstorm has blown in. How will your crew respond?
Ovi: Surely our ablative armor and chemical engine will counter the fact our car is unpainted ferro-magnetic metal …
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Billy: *sobs* MY BOOB! FINALLY! …. Now I need a complete set …
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: CURSE YOU DOOFY THE BIDOOF! AND MARY THE MEMAW!
