Post by Rage and Cage on Jul 16, 2023 8:51:11 GMT -5
Rage and Cage are seated in lawn chairs in front of the Barclays Center in the NYC. They have picket signs leaning against their chairs. A Con Air promotional umbrella shields them from the sun. Cage steadily takes drags from his weed vape pen.
Rage: As each day goes by, WUK grinds to a halt without the premier tag team in all of pro wrestling!
Cage: I’m not even sure WUK is still in business! I haven’t seen anything from them. All they got here are some Drake and New York Liberty posters.
Rage: Continuing my efforts to cancel Drake is an added benefit to this strike.
Cage: He’s not as good as he used to be, so I get it.
Rage: He’s creepy af with women! He shouldn’t have a concert! We need additional signs to protest the people who buy tickets!
Cage: This is why I wanted to buy a white board!
Rage: I’M NOT BUYING SOMETHING THAT SOUNDS RACIST!
Cage: Dude, it’s just a dry erase board! It just has a white background.
Rage: Then why didn’t you call it that?
Cage: They’re used interchangeably. I didn’t think it would be a problem.
Rage: I’m glad we’re on strike because we aren’t communicating well.
Cage: Yeah, the Buttholes, the Intangibles, and the Disney Bros might’ve been able to almost beat us.
Rage: I’d be so fucking embarrassed if we almost lost to any of them!
Cage: Thankfully, that can’t happen!
Cage picks up his sign and motions for Rage to do the same. Cage brings them together in a celebration move. As they lament their position, a car with markings of Turning Stone Casino. An employee comes up and presents Cage with a pizza from Wicked Good Pizza. Cage looks like a kid at Christmas.
Employee: That was a 5 hour drive. All signed to Mr. Crane.
Cage: Any parmesan?
The employee groans.
Employee: No. Sorry, I forgot.
Cage: It’s cool. Just drive back and get it.
Employee: That’s a 10 hour round trip.
Cage: You’re right…bring another pizza! I’ll be hungry again!
Rage: Remember to tip yourself well on the receipt! We’re friends of the common man!
Employee: I’m driving 20 hours to deliver two pizzas.
Cage: That is fucked up…bring us three more pizzas! That’ll save you the drive for about a day or so.
Rage: Whoa, Nic, that is fucked up! That’s not an electric car! My man, next time break out the EV! Crane will pay for charging!
The driver gets in the company car and leaves. Rage reaches into the box and takes a slice.
Rage: I’m glad Henderson approved this. This pizza is gucci.
Cage: Well, I assume he’ll approve it. Mr. Crane’s got our back, so I figured it would be cool.
Rage: Do any of them know about our strike?
Cage: As long as they follow me, they will.
The scene changes to show Henderson knocking on the door to Rage and Cage’s suite.
Henderson: Where are they?
Rage: I can’t speak for the rest of the High Rollers Club, but Hollywood writers and actors are on our side! They’re all on strike! We’re all together, Nic! We’re doin’ it! We’re part of a flashpoint in history that just may become…a movement!
Cage: We are badass!
Rage: We’re doing the right thing and helping people! Like that person who brought the pizza. They will now look to use the EV in the fleet. We just had to correct their ignorance!
Cage scrolls through his phone.
Cage: Terrible news, bro! Turning Stone doesn’t have any EVs!
Rage: NOOOOOOO!
Cage: I know! How will we get our pizzas?
Rage: What can we do?
Cage types something into his phone.
Cage: Henderson gave me the Crane Corporate Card to use in emergencies. Well, this is an emergency! I’ll have the nearest one purchased and delivered. I’ll pay extra to get it there in under 5 hours!
Rage exhales, then has a thought.
Rage: Not a Tesla, though?
Cage: I got you, bro!
Henderson stands outside Turning Stone Casino and looks at the newly-delivered EV.
Henderson: WHO ORDERED THIS?!
Rage: Got scary there, but we found a way. That’s what we do. We help people.
A homeless man walks up to Rage and Cage.
Man: I’m sorry to bother you, and I’m ashamed to even ask. Can I have some of that pizza?
Cage: Ooooooooooo, bro. We only got 1 pizza for the 2 of us. We may not get another one for 10 hours. We’d be stravin’! Do you know what that’s like?
Man: I…I understand. Thank you for listening.
Rage: Nic! WTF!
Rage picks up his sign and swats Cage with it.
Rage: We share the wealth around here! Give him your corporate card!
Cage fishes the corporate card out of his pocket and hands it over.
Rage: Sir, go get something to eat.
Man: Do you have the pin for cash withdrawals?
Cage: Nah. Henderson never gave it to me.
The man is disgusted.
Man: Better than nothing, you stingy, bougie bitches!
The man leaves with the card to do whatever he’s going to do.
Cage: I’ve heard giving makes you feel good, but I don’t feel all that good.
Rage: Helping the unhomed is its own reward.
Cage: Do you mean homeless?
Rage: NO! They may never have had a home! How can you lose what you never had?
Cage: Usually, you don’t make sense, but this one…it makes sense.
Rage: Thank you…wait, what?
Henderson is on the phone.
Henderson: What do you mean the card is now being charged $120,000 worth of massages at Totally Legal Massages in Brooklyn? No, we didn’t make the charge! Arrest that thief!
Cage’s phone dings. He checks it.
Cage: Man, Brooklyn just had a bust of the massage houses. Apparently the guys committed wire fraud, sex trafficking, and a bunch of other stuff.
Rage: This is why we fight the good fight. The world needs more people like us.
Rage: As each day goes by, WUK grinds to a halt without the premier tag team in all of pro wrestling!
Cage: I’m not even sure WUK is still in business! I haven’t seen anything from them. All they got here are some Drake and New York Liberty posters.
Rage: Continuing my efforts to cancel Drake is an added benefit to this strike.
Cage: He’s not as good as he used to be, so I get it.
Rage: He’s creepy af with women! He shouldn’t have a concert! We need additional signs to protest the people who buy tickets!
Cage: This is why I wanted to buy a white board!
Rage: I’M NOT BUYING SOMETHING THAT SOUNDS RACIST!
Cage: Dude, it’s just a dry erase board! It just has a white background.
Rage: Then why didn’t you call it that?
Cage: They’re used interchangeably. I didn’t think it would be a problem.
Rage: I’m glad we’re on strike because we aren’t communicating well.
Cage: Yeah, the Buttholes, the Intangibles, and the Disney Bros might’ve been able to almost beat us.
Rage: I’d be so fucking embarrassed if we almost lost to any of them!
Cage: Thankfully, that can’t happen!
Cage picks up his sign and motions for Rage to do the same. Cage brings them together in a celebration move. As they lament their position, a car with markings of Turning Stone Casino. An employee comes up and presents Cage with a pizza from Wicked Good Pizza. Cage looks like a kid at Christmas.
Employee: That was a 5 hour drive. All signed to Mr. Crane.
Cage: Any parmesan?
The employee groans.
Employee: No. Sorry, I forgot.
Cage: It’s cool. Just drive back and get it.
Employee: That’s a 10 hour round trip.
Cage: You’re right…bring another pizza! I’ll be hungry again!
Rage: Remember to tip yourself well on the receipt! We’re friends of the common man!
Employee: I’m driving 20 hours to deliver two pizzas.
Cage: That is fucked up…bring us three more pizzas! That’ll save you the drive for about a day or so.
Rage: Whoa, Nic, that is fucked up! That’s not an electric car! My man, next time break out the EV! Crane will pay for charging!
The driver gets in the company car and leaves. Rage reaches into the box and takes a slice.
Rage: I’m glad Henderson approved this. This pizza is gucci.
Cage: Well, I assume he’ll approve it. Mr. Crane’s got our back, so I figured it would be cool.
Rage: Do any of them know about our strike?
Cage: As long as they follow me, they will.
The scene changes to show Henderson knocking on the door to Rage and Cage’s suite.
Henderson: Where are they?
Rage: I can’t speak for the rest of the High Rollers Club, but Hollywood writers and actors are on our side! They’re all on strike! We’re all together, Nic! We’re doin’ it! We’re part of a flashpoint in history that just may become…a movement!
Cage: We are badass!
Rage: We’re doing the right thing and helping people! Like that person who brought the pizza. They will now look to use the EV in the fleet. We just had to correct their ignorance!
Cage scrolls through his phone.
Cage: Terrible news, bro! Turning Stone doesn’t have any EVs!
Rage: NOOOOOOO!
Cage: I know! How will we get our pizzas?
Rage: What can we do?
Cage types something into his phone.
Cage: Henderson gave me the Crane Corporate Card to use in emergencies. Well, this is an emergency! I’ll have the nearest one purchased and delivered. I’ll pay extra to get it there in under 5 hours!
Rage exhales, then has a thought.
Rage: Not a Tesla, though?
Cage: I got you, bro!
Henderson stands outside Turning Stone Casino and looks at the newly-delivered EV.
Henderson: WHO ORDERED THIS?!
Rage: Got scary there, but we found a way. That’s what we do. We help people.
A homeless man walks up to Rage and Cage.
Man: I’m sorry to bother you, and I’m ashamed to even ask. Can I have some of that pizza?
Cage: Ooooooooooo, bro. We only got 1 pizza for the 2 of us. We may not get another one for 10 hours. We’d be stravin’! Do you know what that’s like?
Man: I…I understand. Thank you for listening.
Rage: Nic! WTF!
Rage picks up his sign and swats Cage with it.
Rage: We share the wealth around here! Give him your corporate card!
Cage fishes the corporate card out of his pocket and hands it over.
Rage: Sir, go get something to eat.
Man: Do you have the pin for cash withdrawals?
Cage: Nah. Henderson never gave it to me.
The man is disgusted.
Man: Better than nothing, you stingy, bougie bitches!
The man leaves with the card to do whatever he’s going to do.
Cage: I’ve heard giving makes you feel good, but I don’t feel all that good.
Rage: Helping the unhomed is its own reward.
Cage: Do you mean homeless?
Rage: NO! They may never have had a home! How can you lose what you never had?
Cage: Usually, you don’t make sense, but this one…it makes sense.
Rage: Thank you…wait, what?
Henderson is on the phone.
Henderson: What do you mean the card is now being charged $120,000 worth of massages at Totally Legal Massages in Brooklyn? No, we didn’t make the charge! Arrest that thief!
Cage’s phone dings. He checks it.
Cage: Man, Brooklyn just had a bust of the massage houses. Apparently the guys committed wire fraud, sex trafficking, and a bunch of other stuff.
Rage: This is why we fight the good fight. The world needs more people like us.