Post by flo on Jul 16, 2023 14:41:22 GMT -5
Nine hours.
The flight from Miami to London...
Florida Man thought he saw a gremlin on the wing while their plane was still sitting on the tarmac of MIA. Trying to keep the gator faced luchador from firing a flare gun at the figment of his imagination - was the least of the misadventures that Marty Donovan experienced over the Atlantic. The fact that the flight ended with the passengers thanking Florida Man for rescuing them from the mythical fiend, while Marty is no longer allowed on British Airways – appears to be the last straw.
As the Epcot Mafia exit Heathrow, Disney’s Own is busy video calling Bob Iger – trying to get out of this tag arrangement.
Marty Donovan: Mr. Iger – I know we’d arranged this WUK appearance to remind our British fans that Great Expectations is streaming now, but after the XHF Birthday Bash... I’m not entirely sure about my partner.
Florida Man (wandering in from the background): Hey Bob, I just saw some writers asking for residuals, so I kicked them in the nuts!
Bob Iger: Thanks Florida Man!
Florida Man: Anything to fight commies!
Marty Donovan (trying to hold phone away): Do you mind this is a private conversation?
Shrugging, Florida Man wanders towards customs, trying to smuggle rare orchids in his snout. Petals poke out of the nostrils.
Bob Iger: Look Marty, I sympathize with your situation. But with our current lawsuit against the governor, we can’t afford to alienate the common Florida people. So you need to own that Revolution.
Marty Donovan (Hail Mary Pass): I didn’t want to mention this... but you know that child who was eaten back in 2016? ...I’m pretty sure Florida Man was the alligator responsible.
Bob Iger (getting cold): Disney doesn’t have gators.
The signal ends. Did Marty overplay his hand?
Customs finds a morning star in Florida Man’s carry on. FML explains that he’s planning to use it on Rage and Cage – and Marty realizes that trying to duck out of this was the right call. God forbid they win the tournament, and the Epcot Mafia become regular UK fixtures.
The Epcot Mafia walk outside the Tower of London.
Marty Donovan: We should start researching the New Untouchables. What happened to the Old Untouchables?
Florida Man: Nah, the team to beat is Rage and Cage. Those dudes got screwed over by the Bastards like a million times. I knows a little sumthin’bout gamblin, and they is odds on favOurite. Only they spent so long chasing the straps, it seems anticlimactic to win ‘em in a tournament. Better for everyone if our outsider asses take the tourney, so they can chase us for proper revenge and catharsis.
Marty Donovan: Disney has set us up with a gym for the week leading up to the Revolution, so we can polish our team skills-
Florida Man: Homework? Nah! Us in Britain, is like Crocodile Dundee-
Marty Donovan: You know he wasn’t a crocodile...
Florida Man: ...we may have seen a different movie. Point is – culture shock, imma fish outta water! WOW - A WHITE CAR!
Marty Donovan: We have those in the st-
Their hotel room. Florida Man races out of the washroom.
Florida Man: They have a bowl full of water for evacuating your bowels!
Marty Donovan: We have toilets in the states!
Florida Man (returning to the lavatory): It’s new to me.
Marty Donovan (takes a second to think then yells): THAT BETTER NOT BE THE SINK!
Buckingham Palace. Florida Man admires one of the Royal Guards’ bearskin hats.
Florida Man: What tribe are you with?
Marty Donovan (trying to drag Florida Man away before he gets them arrested): For fuck’s sake... can we discuss the Dark Stars?
Florida Man: No need to show how familiar we are with WUK programming like we’re outsider singles pretending to be a team. You been in WUK before... and I’m J-RoK, them two kingdoms basically gives me dual citizenship. We are practically THE HOME TEAM – your boy Kilroy and Sheik? THEY are the evil invaders. We just gotta protect OUR WUK from them in the finals, or capitalize on the damage they do to EVK and Godfrey.
Marty Donovan: Where are you getting these insights?
Florida Man: I called Miss Cleo.
Marty Donovan: ...she’s been dead for years...
Florida Man: Oh snap, my life has once again become creepypasta! (drooling) Mmmmm… Chef Boyardee...
Cleveland. The Epcot Mafia walk along the coast, taking in the cliffside views of the North Sea. Its such a picturesque tourist destination that one sometimes forgets how violent it is.
Florida Man: Call that a knife?
Stonehenge.
Marty Donovan: Now this is worth admiring...
Florida Man (shrug): We got rocks in Florida.
The Tube. Rush hour. Having had all the Florida Man he can take, Marty Donovan is ready to face the wrath of Bob Iger, WUK tag titles be damned. As he waits for the subway to get to the airport, a few hundred commuters stands between him and your friendly neighbourhood Florida Man.
Florida Man (yelling over): DON’T GO, I’M NOT GONNA MARRY RICHARD!
Marty Donovan (yelling back): I HATE YOU.
Construction Worker: He says he hates you.
Biker: He hates you pal!
Florida Man (yelling): I’m coming over-
The gator-faced luchador tries to walk across the shoulders of the crowd - but his makeshift bridge tries to run away. Undeterred, Florida Man proceeds to jump from one person to the next, leaving a trail of crushed bodies like Super Mario. When the massacre finally finishes, FML finds himself next to his Epcot Mafia partner.
Florida Man: Just think, when we're champs, we will be together all the time!
Marty Donovan (falls to knees): I... think I’m going to throw up.
Florida Man: WOW - A SUBWAY!
If Marty dislikes the other teams in the tournament half as much as he hates his own partner, the Revolution will be violent.
The flight from Miami to London...
Florida Man thought he saw a gremlin on the wing while their plane was still sitting on the tarmac of MIA. Trying to keep the gator faced luchador from firing a flare gun at the figment of his imagination - was the least of the misadventures that Marty Donovan experienced over the Atlantic. The fact that the flight ended with the passengers thanking Florida Man for rescuing them from the mythical fiend, while Marty is no longer allowed on British Airways – appears to be the last straw.
As the Epcot Mafia exit Heathrow, Disney’s Own is busy video calling Bob Iger – trying to get out of this tag arrangement.
Marty Donovan: Mr. Iger – I know we’d arranged this WUK appearance to remind our British fans that Great Expectations is streaming now, but after the XHF Birthday Bash... I’m not entirely sure about my partner.
Florida Man (wandering in from the background): Hey Bob, I just saw some writers asking for residuals, so I kicked them in the nuts!
Bob Iger: Thanks Florida Man!
Florida Man: Anything to fight commies!
Marty Donovan (trying to hold phone away): Do you mind this is a private conversation?
Shrugging, Florida Man wanders towards customs, trying to smuggle rare orchids in his snout. Petals poke out of the nostrils.
Bob Iger: Look Marty, I sympathize with your situation. But with our current lawsuit against the governor, we can’t afford to alienate the common Florida people. So you need to own that Revolution.
Marty Donovan (Hail Mary Pass): I didn’t want to mention this... but you know that child who was eaten back in 2016? ...I’m pretty sure Florida Man was the alligator responsible.
Bob Iger (getting cold): Disney doesn’t have gators.
The signal ends. Did Marty overplay his hand?
Customs finds a morning star in Florida Man’s carry on. FML explains that he’s planning to use it on Rage and Cage – and Marty realizes that trying to duck out of this was the right call. God forbid they win the tournament, and the Epcot Mafia become regular UK fixtures.
The Epcot Mafia walk outside the Tower of London.
Marty Donovan: We should start researching the New Untouchables. What happened to the Old Untouchables?
Florida Man: Nah, the team to beat is Rage and Cage. Those dudes got screwed over by the Bastards like a million times. I knows a little sumthin’bout gamblin, and they is odds on favOurite. Only they spent so long chasing the straps, it seems anticlimactic to win ‘em in a tournament. Better for everyone if our outsider asses take the tourney, so they can chase us for proper revenge and catharsis.
Marty Donovan: Disney has set us up with a gym for the week leading up to the Revolution, so we can polish our team skills-
Florida Man: Homework? Nah! Us in Britain, is like Crocodile Dundee-
Marty Donovan: You know he wasn’t a crocodile...
Florida Man: ...we may have seen a different movie. Point is – culture shock, imma fish outta water! WOW - A WHITE CAR!
Marty Donovan: We have those in the st-
Their hotel room. Florida Man races out of the washroom.
Florida Man: They have a bowl full of water for evacuating your bowels!
Marty Donovan: We have toilets in the states!
Florida Man (returning to the lavatory): It’s new to me.
Marty Donovan (takes a second to think then yells): THAT BETTER NOT BE THE SINK!
Buckingham Palace. Florida Man admires one of the Royal Guards’ bearskin hats.
Florida Man: What tribe are you with?
Marty Donovan (trying to drag Florida Man away before he gets them arrested): For fuck’s sake... can we discuss the Dark Stars?
Florida Man: No need to show how familiar we are with WUK programming like we’re outsider singles pretending to be a team. You been in WUK before... and I’m J-RoK, them two kingdoms basically gives me dual citizenship. We are practically THE HOME TEAM – your boy Kilroy and Sheik? THEY are the evil invaders. We just gotta protect OUR WUK from them in the finals, or capitalize on the damage they do to EVK and Godfrey.
Marty Donovan: Where are you getting these insights?
Florida Man: I called Miss Cleo.
Marty Donovan: ...she’s been dead for years...
Florida Man: Oh snap, my life has once again become creepypasta! (drooling) Mmmmm… Chef Boyardee...
Cleveland. The Epcot Mafia walk along the coast, taking in the cliffside views of the North Sea. Its such a picturesque tourist destination that one sometimes forgets how violent it is.
Florida Man: Call that a knife?
Stonehenge.
Marty Donovan: Now this is worth admiring...
Florida Man (shrug): We got rocks in Florida.
The Tube. Rush hour. Having had all the Florida Man he can take, Marty Donovan is ready to face the wrath of Bob Iger, WUK tag titles be damned. As he waits for the subway to get to the airport, a few hundred commuters stands between him and your friendly neighbourhood Florida Man.
Florida Man (yelling over): DON’T GO, I’M NOT GONNA MARRY RICHARD!
Marty Donovan (yelling back): I HATE YOU.
Construction Worker: He says he hates you.
Biker: He hates you pal!
Florida Man (yelling): I’m coming over-
The gator-faced luchador tries to walk across the shoulders of the crowd - but his makeshift bridge tries to run away. Undeterred, Florida Man proceeds to jump from one person to the next, leaving a trail of crushed bodies like Super Mario. When the massacre finally finishes, FML finds himself next to his Epcot Mafia partner.
Florida Man: Just think, when we're champs, we will be together all the time!
Marty Donovan (falls to knees): I... think I’m going to throw up.
Florida Man: WOW - A SUBWAY!
If Marty dislikes the other teams in the tournament half as much as he hates his own partner, the Revolution will be violent.