The King of the Cruisers
Jul 20, 2023 18:24:53 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Dave D-Flipz, and 6 more like this
Post by Venom 🕷 on Jul 20, 2023 18:24:53 GMT -5
I’ve got it.
I finally figured it out.
I am just too successful.
Why else would the XHF put me in so many matches where the odds are stacked against me?
You have another reason?
I’ll gladly wait.
It’s the only explanation.
I overcame the odds to win the X*Crown. I may have fallen short in the Rumble to retain, but I came a lot closer than anyone expected.
I won this belt and they immediately tested my limits again. They tested me in back-to-back multiperson match. In two matches with a total of 13 challengers I succeeded in retaining the Junior Heavyweight Championship.
The brass must have been impressed because they let me compete in traditional one-on-one matches finally. Now, though, I’m put in some ridiculous monstrosity of a match with the same amount of challengers that I had in those first to multiperson matches combined.
So the conspiracy continues.
Why is it even called Cruiserfest. We don’t have a Cruiser division. We have a Junior Heavyweight Division.
But I will not let them keep me down.
I’m the XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion for a reason, and I will overcome the odds once again, even after I compete earlier in the night. It’s what I do, and I’m just too damn good for anyone to stop me.
Doo do Doo Doo
The sound of a FaceTime call rings. The screen stays black for a moment and then after a huff the screen lights up.
BEEF: Yo.
El Rey: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!
BEEF: Yeah.
El Rey: Look, I know you weren’t crazy about the “best friend” thing.
BEEF: Yup.
El Rey: And I get it. You’re the silent stoic type and I’m the loud and loving type. You like to let your actions do your talking, and I like to verbally run circles around my opponents so they’re confused when the time comes. We’re about as polar opposites as we can be.
BEEF: True.
El Rey: So, what I propose to you is that before our big matches where we’re both being screwed by being forced into multi-person matches that we’re the only ones who truly earned their spot.
BEEF: Fox earned their spot.
El Rey: And while we’re opposites, that’s why we work so well together. That’s why I propose we train together.
BEEF: Sounds good.
El Rey: Before you say no.
BEEF: BEEF said yes.
El Rey: Let me tell you why it’ll work so well. You see, for a match like yours the power you have won’t be enough. You’re going to need the cardio that I have and can train you for.
BEEF: BEEF already agreed.
El Rey: If I’m going to win Cruiserfest and continue on being the best Junior Heavyweight to ever live, I’m going to need more strength, and that’s where you come in. So what do you say?
BEEF: BEEF already agreed three times.
El Rey: Oh. Good, because I’m already on a flight to Vegas. See you soon.
Click
I guess it’s that time of year again.
Cruiserfest.
Congratulations to all those who observe.
I personally am not a fan.
As I’ve already covered, it’s just another opportunity for the XHF Brass to screw me of what I do rightfully earned.
I deserve to be here. I’ve defended this title against every challenger that the XHF has put in my way. Every challenger that GUNS has put in my way. Now I’ll defend this title against 13 men and women who clearly just don’t stack up.
Who are the front runners to knock me off?
Zoran? He loves me. He wouldn’t take my most prized possession from me. He may be evil but he’s not a monster. He just wants a closer seat to see my greatness in action.
Dylan Black? Don’t make me laugh. Did you see what happened in the Gold Rush? I took his best shots. Dynamic Outro, Royal Massacre, and the Disasterpiece and I kicked out of all of them and came out on top.
Charles? Sure he’s a former champ, but he’s just a cat. And the only reason he won was because he was up against the worst second generation wrestler in the history of the XHF.
Random? Sure, they’re making a splash in TapOut, but is it that hard when the bottom half of that roster is about as mediocre as possible? No.
Who else even stands a chance against me? Yuki the wrestler who is so crazy they don’t even know what they are or where they belong? Austin Kade who is probably the second most disappointing second generation wrestler? Takashi? Who? Noel Edmonds doesn’t stand a chance. He got lucky against my dad in GUNS and I will go out of my way to make him pay for it. Travis, Trekker, Matthews, they’re just fodder and they know it.
Then there’s Eron Hunter. I’ve been waiting for you. What we did in that ring together all those months ago. It was magic. I’ve been wanting to say thank you in person. And now I have the opportunity to do just that, by dropping you on your head and having my hand raised once again as the victor.
Cruiserfest is mine.
The Junior Heavyweight division belongs to me.
And I’m totally not leaving anyone out who makes me nervous every time I see them.
No one at all.
I finally figured it out.
I am just too successful.
Why else would the XHF put me in so many matches where the odds are stacked against me?
You have another reason?
I’ll gladly wait.
It’s the only explanation.
I overcame the odds to win the X*Crown. I may have fallen short in the Rumble to retain, but I came a lot closer than anyone expected.
I won this belt and they immediately tested my limits again. They tested me in back-to-back multiperson match. In two matches with a total of 13 challengers I succeeded in retaining the Junior Heavyweight Championship.
The brass must have been impressed because they let me compete in traditional one-on-one matches finally. Now, though, I’m put in some ridiculous monstrosity of a match with the same amount of challengers that I had in those first to multiperson matches combined.
So the conspiracy continues.
Why is it even called Cruiserfest. We don’t have a Cruiser division. We have a Junior Heavyweight Division.
But I will not let them keep me down.
I’m the XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion for a reason, and I will overcome the odds once again, even after I compete earlier in the night. It’s what I do, and I’m just too damn good for anyone to stop me.
Doo do Doo Doo
The sound of a FaceTime call rings. The screen stays black for a moment and then after a huff the screen lights up.
BEEF: Yo.
El Rey: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!
BEEF: Yeah.
El Rey: Look, I know you weren’t crazy about the “best friend” thing.
BEEF: Yup.
El Rey: And I get it. You’re the silent stoic type and I’m the loud and loving type. You like to let your actions do your talking, and I like to verbally run circles around my opponents so they’re confused when the time comes. We’re about as polar opposites as we can be.
BEEF: True.
El Rey: So, what I propose to you is that before our big matches where we’re both being screwed by being forced into multi-person matches that we’re the only ones who truly earned their spot.
BEEF: Fox earned their spot.
El Rey: And while we’re opposites, that’s why we work so well together. That’s why I propose we train together.
BEEF: Sounds good.
El Rey: Before you say no.
BEEF: BEEF said yes.
El Rey: Let me tell you why it’ll work so well. You see, for a match like yours the power you have won’t be enough. You’re going to need the cardio that I have and can train you for.
BEEF: BEEF already agreed.
El Rey: If I’m going to win Cruiserfest and continue on being the best Junior Heavyweight to ever live, I’m going to need more strength, and that’s where you come in. So what do you say?
BEEF: BEEF already agreed three times.
El Rey: Oh. Good, because I’m already on a flight to Vegas. See you soon.
Click
I guess it’s that time of year again.
Cruiserfest.
Congratulations to all those who observe.
I personally am not a fan.
As I’ve already covered, it’s just another opportunity for the XHF Brass to screw me of what I do rightfully earned.
I deserve to be here. I’ve defended this title against every challenger that the XHF has put in my way. Every challenger that GUNS has put in my way. Now I’ll defend this title against 13 men and women who clearly just don’t stack up.
Who are the front runners to knock me off?
Zoran? He loves me. He wouldn’t take my most prized possession from me. He may be evil but he’s not a monster. He just wants a closer seat to see my greatness in action.
Dylan Black? Don’t make me laugh. Did you see what happened in the Gold Rush? I took his best shots. Dynamic Outro, Royal Massacre, and the Disasterpiece and I kicked out of all of them and came out on top.
Charles? Sure he’s a former champ, but he’s just a cat. And the only reason he won was because he was up against the worst second generation wrestler in the history of the XHF.
Random? Sure, they’re making a splash in TapOut, but is it that hard when the bottom half of that roster is about as mediocre as possible? No.
Who else even stands a chance against me? Yuki the wrestler who is so crazy they don’t even know what they are or where they belong? Austin Kade who is probably the second most disappointing second generation wrestler? Takashi? Who? Noel Edmonds doesn’t stand a chance. He got lucky against my dad in GUNS and I will go out of my way to make him pay for it. Travis, Trekker, Matthews, they’re just fodder and they know it.
Then there’s Eron Hunter. I’ve been waiting for you. What we did in that ring together all those months ago. It was magic. I’ve been wanting to say thank you in person. And now I have the opportunity to do just that, by dropping you on your head and having my hand raised once again as the victor.
Cruiserfest is mine.
The Junior Heavyweight division belongs to me.
And I’m totally not leaving anyone out who makes me nervous every time I see them.
No one at all.
