WRESTLE-A-THON '23 Announcement [Aug 6th, 2023]
Jul 28, 2023 22:52:35 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Venom 🕷, and 5 more like this
Post by mosler on Jul 28, 2023 22:52:35 GMT -5
GUNS Headquarters.
Magnus appears behind the podium to a thunderous ovation - on tape.
Magnus:
I'd like to thank the members of the associated wrestling press for joining us here today...
Clearing his throat, Magnus shuffles some paperwork before looking at the closest camera.
Magnus:
There is no easy way to say this... GUNS is in trouble. As many of you know, the GUNS Arena is currently threatening to plunge into a massive sinkhole known as the Sarlacc Pit. Engineers have devised plans to fill the hole, strengthen the foundation, and reinforce the structure of our great venue - in the process bringing much needed jobs to the city of Atlanta. Unfortunately a communication breakdown with between the GUNS board of directors and shareholders means that the company's funds to allocate to this much needed project, have been frozen. Given time, the courts may resolve that red tape - but we're talking about months if not years of litigation. At the same time, HEAVY RAINS have led to serious soil erosion - as a result, I've been told that GUNS Arena may only have a matter of weeks. Desperate action is required if we are to save our home...
So on Sunday August 6th, we will be having a WRESTLE-A-THON! A variety show featuring the stars of the XHF Network! Have you ever wanted to see Primal giving manscaping tips? The Viking Mafia synchronize swim? Cross Recoba host the roast of Jack Diamond? Kilroy Evans derail a train with his penis? Listen to Uptown Funk as performed by Lady Sinclair Godfrey's trained poodle choir? Have Memaw teach you how to change your oil? OF COURSE YOU HAVE! Just to clarify, we haven't asked ANY OF THOSE PEOPLE to appear at the event - but its such a good cause, how could they say no?
An evening of entertainment, where you dear fans can call in and pledge money to SAVE GUNS ARENA. Who knows what fabulous wrestling stars will be on hand to take your calls. It might even be Cheez you speak to when you pick up that phone! With your help, we will wrestle in GUNS Arena again! Thank you... and I look forwards to hearing from all of you on August 6th, at WRESTLE-A-THON!
Magnus starts to leave-
"Well, I can confirm ONE guest right now."
Magnus:
Damn it.
The Final Boss steps up to the podium with a fiendish smile.
Zoran Sainovic:
I can't help but feel partially responsible for the hole currently robbing the fans of GUNS...
Magnus:
It's ENTIRELY your fault you psycho!
Zoran Sainovic:
So the LEAST I can do is actually offer some WRESTLING for this proposed wrestling show.
Magnus:
No...
Zoran Sainovic:
How long do you think your audience will tune in for to watch Copycat be tortured?
Magnus:
Please don't-
Zoran Sainovic:
Will they leave in droves? How long will it take? (turning back to the reporters) AT WRESTLE-A-THON, be prepared for the long awaited Zoran Sainovic versus Copycat. Mark your calendars.
The reporters start taking pictures.
Magnus:
Why can't you let us have this?
Zoran Sainovic (smile fades):
...You brought it on yourself. ...See you at Wrestle-a-Thon.
Magnus falls to his knees, as Zoran continues to pose for the reporters.