The Origin of Mantaur (Part 2)
Aug 7, 2023 19:16:32 GMT -5
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Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Aug 7, 2023 19:16:32 GMT -5
*Bing. That’s the way I describe the sound that plays when you see the Vice logo. It’s time once again for Dark Side of the ring (yeah that show’s still going!). We then transition to a picture of Mike Halac as a child. The husky voice of Chris Jericho takes over on narration.*
Chris Jericho (Voice Over): A young man full of potential, Mike Halac had big dreams and hopes as he studied to one day be the most successful person in his family. But by a freak accident his life was changed forever.
*Quick cut to Jimmy Hart in an interview booth.*
Jimmy Hart: And just like that BAM, BABY! You had Mantaur!
Jericho (VO): Today on Dark Side of the Ring we look at the Origin of Mantaur.
The Origin of Mantaur
*Another interview. The massive slab of meat known as Mantaur sits down. He breaths in deeply. It’s time for some dark secrets to be revealed.*
Mantaur: Mantaur.
*He holds up a hand, suggesting he needs a moment. After some contemplation he starts again.*
Mantaur: Mantaur…mantaur mantar.
*We cut to a blurry scene featuring paid actors (or more likely indy wrestlers) acting out a scene that for some reason has really awful lighting. Look, I don’t make the show I just am trying to describe it.*
Jericho (VO): While studying radiobiology a young Mike Halac was beset by an accident that would change his life.
Mantaur (VO): Mantaur….man mantar, mantar man-man-tar.
*The scene fades to a behind view of a large fat man who’s acting as the stand-in for Mike Halec saunters in slow motion down the corridors of a science lab. SUDDENLY HE’S BLINDSIDED (also in slow motion though) by a bison!?*
Jericho (VO): After being bitten by the radioactive bison, Mike Halac started to slowly begin his transformation into what we would now come to know as Mantaur. But some don’t accept this account as being what really happened…
*Cut to an old man sitting down in front of the camera.*
Bill Apter: Let me set the record straight on what really happened, because that radioactive story is nonsense.
*SMASH CUT to slow motion Apter walking, or maybe that’s his normal pace because he’s very old.*
Apter (VO): Hello, I’m Bill Apter, the most trusted source of news in the wrestling world. I’ve been writing about what actually goes on in wrestling since well…since the dawn of the sport almost. (Laugh)
*Back to Apter’s interview.*
Apter: I mean who would believe that being bitten by a radioactive creature would result in anything beyond cancer? No, it was a full moon.
*Another scene unfolds in poorly-lit slow motion. Now instead of walking through a lab, the bald stand-in is slow motion walking through a countryside.*
Apter (VO): See he was out on the road, I think his car broke down or something. When out of nowhere…
*From the side of the screen comes ANOTHER MANTUAR!? BAM, QUICK CUT to Mantaur trying to explain something with his hands as he talks.*
Mantaur: MANTAUR! Mantaur mantaur mantaur- mantaur, mantaaaaaaaur.
*JUMP CUT to Jim Cornette!? Gross.*
Cornette: Yeah no, I’m pretty sure it didn’t happen like that.
*We watch in slow motion as Jim Cornette puts on a jacket in slow motion.*
Cornette (VO): I’m Jim Cornette, and I’ve worked in wrestling darn near 40 years of my life. It’s the greatest sport in the world, even if its fake.
*Back to the actual interview.*
Cornette: Huh? No that’s it. Look guys, it’s a gimmick. You put a funny hat on and that’s your character. Wrestling isn’t that complicated.
*Quickly we cut back to Bill Apter.*
Apter: Corny doesn’t know what he’s talking about. This sort of thing happens all the time. I’ve written extensively on the subject in my magazines. It’s a simple fact, if you get bitten by something during a full moon you become that thing- also you usually end up being a wrestler. Arachnaman? Bitten by Spider-Man during a full moon. The Goon? Bitten by a hockey player during a full moon. Repo Man? Well he was a wrestler before he got bit- but once that other repo man bit him, that was his life, you know?
*To mix things up they show a slow motion of the Mantaur biting the Mike Halac actor*
Apter: In fact I’ve had to write so many stories about wrestlers being bitten by things during full moons that when I was single I didn’t date unless it was a new moon, maybe a waning crescent.
*He gestures his hands a bit as he talks.*
Apter: You know, so I didn’t end up getting bitten by a particularly rough gal and end up an exotico in Mexico. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I’d rather be writing about wrestling than getting in the ring, I mean look at me!
*We get a split screen of the former Mike Halac actor now taking on the features of Mantaur. It is of course blurry and poorly lit. One side of the screen is on the floor of a lab, the other on a dirt road but the overall view is basically the same.*
Jericho (VO): Mutilated by his experience, Mike Halac only had once choice in front of him, giving up his studies and becoming the wrestler known as-
Ring Announcer: MANTAUR!
*The camera cuts to Mantaur entering a ring and wrestling. Clearly the wrestling shots are from this WCW run since during his WWF days he took the headpiece off. We when return to Mantaur, who seems to still be intently explaining everything using only one word.*
Mantaur: Mantaur……Mantaur.
*He nods. Though quickly we find ourselves back with Jimmy Hart.*
Hart: HEY THERE, BABY! I’m the mouth of the South, Jimmy Hart!
*As he introduces himself there’s so slow motion pictures of him posing, but soon we’re back to the interview.*
Hart: You know baby, that Mantaur, man- he’s just huge right, baby? So I see him one time in the back and he’s looking down. You know, baby? So I put my arm around him and I says to him, “MANTAUR, BABY, you don’t need to please anyone! Just be yourself! Lean into it, baby! If you wanna Mantaur, just Mantaur your heart out, baby!” And you know?
*He takes off his sunglasses and points at the camera with them in his hand.*
Hart: I think he did, baby.
*Jimmy Hart winks at the camera and we fade out.*
Chris Jericho (Voice Over): A young man full of potential, Mike Halac had big dreams and hopes as he studied to one day be the most successful person in his family. But by a freak accident his life was changed forever.
*Quick cut to Jimmy Hart in an interview booth.*
Jimmy Hart: And just like that BAM, BABY! You had Mantaur!
Jericho (VO): Today on Dark Side of the Ring we look at the Origin of Mantaur.
The Origin of Mantaur
*Another interview. The massive slab of meat known as Mantaur sits down. He breaths in deeply. It’s time for some dark secrets to be revealed.*
Mantaur: Mantaur.
*He holds up a hand, suggesting he needs a moment. After some contemplation he starts again.*
Mantaur: Mantaur…mantaur mantar.
*We cut to a blurry scene featuring paid actors (or more likely indy wrestlers) acting out a scene that for some reason has really awful lighting. Look, I don’t make the show I just am trying to describe it.*
Jericho (VO): While studying radiobiology a young Mike Halac was beset by an accident that would change his life.
Mantaur (VO): Mantaur….man mantar, mantar man-man-tar.
*The scene fades to a behind view of a large fat man who’s acting as the stand-in for Mike Halec saunters in slow motion down the corridors of a science lab. SUDDENLY HE’S BLINDSIDED (also in slow motion though) by a bison!?*
Jericho (VO): After being bitten by the radioactive bison, Mike Halac started to slowly begin his transformation into what we would now come to know as Mantaur. But some don’t accept this account as being what really happened…
*Cut to an old man sitting down in front of the camera.*
Bill Apter: Let me set the record straight on what really happened, because that radioactive story is nonsense.
*SMASH CUT to slow motion Apter walking, or maybe that’s his normal pace because he’s very old.*
Apter (VO): Hello, I’m Bill Apter, the most trusted source of news in the wrestling world. I’ve been writing about what actually goes on in wrestling since well…since the dawn of the sport almost. (Laugh)
*Back to Apter’s interview.*
Apter: I mean who would believe that being bitten by a radioactive creature would result in anything beyond cancer? No, it was a full moon.
*Another scene unfolds in poorly-lit slow motion. Now instead of walking through a lab, the bald stand-in is slow motion walking through a countryside.*
Apter (VO): See he was out on the road, I think his car broke down or something. When out of nowhere…
*From the side of the screen comes ANOTHER MANTUAR!? BAM, QUICK CUT to Mantaur trying to explain something with his hands as he talks.*
Mantaur: MANTAUR! Mantaur mantaur mantaur- mantaur, mantaaaaaaaur.
*JUMP CUT to Jim Cornette!? Gross.*
Cornette: Yeah no, I’m pretty sure it didn’t happen like that.
*We watch in slow motion as Jim Cornette puts on a jacket in slow motion.*
Cornette (VO): I’m Jim Cornette, and I’ve worked in wrestling darn near 40 years of my life. It’s the greatest sport in the world, even if its fake.
*Back to the actual interview.*
Cornette: Huh? No that’s it. Look guys, it’s a gimmick. You put a funny hat on and that’s your character. Wrestling isn’t that complicated.
*Quickly we cut back to Bill Apter.*
Apter: Corny doesn’t know what he’s talking about. This sort of thing happens all the time. I’ve written extensively on the subject in my magazines. It’s a simple fact, if you get bitten by something during a full moon you become that thing- also you usually end up being a wrestler. Arachnaman? Bitten by Spider-Man during a full moon. The Goon? Bitten by a hockey player during a full moon. Repo Man? Well he was a wrestler before he got bit- but once that other repo man bit him, that was his life, you know?
*To mix things up they show a slow motion of the Mantaur biting the Mike Halac actor*
Apter: In fact I’ve had to write so many stories about wrestlers being bitten by things during full moons that when I was single I didn’t date unless it was a new moon, maybe a waning crescent.
*He gestures his hands a bit as he talks.*
Apter: You know, so I didn’t end up getting bitten by a particularly rough gal and end up an exotico in Mexico. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I’d rather be writing about wrestling than getting in the ring, I mean look at me!
*We get a split screen of the former Mike Halac actor now taking on the features of Mantaur. It is of course blurry and poorly lit. One side of the screen is on the floor of a lab, the other on a dirt road but the overall view is basically the same.*
Jericho (VO): Mutilated by his experience, Mike Halac only had once choice in front of him, giving up his studies and becoming the wrestler known as-
Ring Announcer: MANTAUR!
*The camera cuts to Mantaur entering a ring and wrestling. Clearly the wrestling shots are from this WCW run since during his WWF days he took the headpiece off. We when return to Mantaur, who seems to still be intently explaining everything using only one word.*
Mantaur: Mantaur……Mantaur.
*He nods. Though quickly we find ourselves back with Jimmy Hart.*
Hart: HEY THERE, BABY! I’m the mouth of the South, Jimmy Hart!
*As he introduces himself there’s so slow motion pictures of him posing, but soon we’re back to the interview.*
Hart: You know baby, that Mantaur, man- he’s just huge right, baby? So I see him one time in the back and he’s looking down. You know, baby? So I put my arm around him and I says to him, “MANTAUR, BABY, you don’t need to please anyone! Just be yourself! Lean into it, baby! If you wanna Mantaur, just Mantaur your heart out, baby!” And you know?
*He takes off his sunglasses and points at the camera with them in his hand.*
Hart: I think he did, baby.
*Jimmy Hart winks at the camera and we fade out.*