Post by Dave D-Flipz on Sept 12, 2023 22:27:45 GMT -5
“DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPORATED!!”
*We open up in an unusually empty garage of the Angry Mad Chemists in the garage of the DEI building. As the camera spins around we see nobody in the garage, nobody at the meeting table, nobody guarding the refrigerator or the inventions. The camera pans up and we find the benefactor of the AMC, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, sitting at a blackjack table. Next to him is the resident eldritch anti-Chthulic crusader PHROOOAGGH the Relentless. Norm the Normal Human (who is really a giant robot mech) stands in the dealer’s pit. They appear to be playing blackjack.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: GENTLEMEN! It’s all about luck this month! Lucky number 7! We have enjoyed a nice celebratory month for our first Silicone Cup win…
Billy: Don’t worry my precious, we’ll get you a companion next year. For now here.
*Billy sits at a video poker machine but he isn’t playing, he’s polishing his golden boob in a very provocative way. And next to it he places the old, rotting, unwashed Athletic Cup from way back when. He pushing a button on the machine and actually wins by accident.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: YES! That’s just the practice we need. Keep it up William. Hit me dealer!
Norm the Normal Human: That;s a king. 25. You bust.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Hmmm … *Doofenthinks* Hit me again.
Phroooaggh: … You are an idiot aren’t you?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I don’t uh … actually know the rules of this game. It’s like Go Fish right?
*Phroooaggh facepalms and grabs his Z staff. He bops Doof on the head and a little light appears on the Z and Doof.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Whoa … WHOA! I KNOW HOW TO PLAY! READ EM AND WEEP BOYS! TWENTY NI-oh … oh I lost. Just like life.
Billy: Isn’t it a little risky to have us all up here getting addicted to gambling instead of prepping the car or watching the garage?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: … Who’s going to come all the way out HERE to see us? With Dominicus gone to torment that wrestling place, EOD on hiatus, and Marty dealing with a coup in his own team … nobody cares!
Billy: I still think it’s a big gamble. Right Ovi? Ian?
*We zoom over to see them both sitting at the slots, drool dripping from their mouths as they absentmindedly and robotically shovel coin after coin into the slots. Occasionally one of them will win and give a “WOOT!” and spill coins down to the garage below.*
Ovi: … mumble grumble … three sevens … coin coin coin, not rings NO RINGS …
Ian: Oh yeah sure, uh Billy, blah blah uh blah … blah heh haha blah.
*Billy just throws his hands out to the side at the two guys while looking at Doof as if to say, “SEEEEEEE!?” Doof has however now put his nose to the table and he and Phroooaggh are actually having a spirited game of Hold ‘em with Norm. Billy sighs*
Billy: There is no way we survive this month’s race.
Ovi: No no hot dogs can’t power the chemical engine. Need better cuts. Ribeye or higher.
Ian: Blah blah chaos, blah blah I’m so sexy.
*Meanwhile … down in the garage … a small white rabbit hops into view. He looks up at the idiots not knowing when to hold ‘em or knowing when to fold’em. The bunny look adorable … then sneers evilly and breathes a tiny belch of fire before leaping up onto a console and hitting a button that unlocks and opens the basement door. Sneaking into the basement walks a fully re-limbed and re-intelligenced … Rd. Ztrimhsnefood! He shuffles and clomps with his uneven steps and hunch back over to a device …*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: *whispering* Yeeeeeees. You do good Bunninator! This serve us well. We make them do me bidding! We make them our SERVANTS. They have no choice!
*Rd. Food then aims a large tesla coil looking device at the bunny and turns it on. In seconds the form of the bunny is transformed back into the dragon body of the BURNINATOR!!!!!*
Burninator: BRAHAHAHAHAHAH! *belches fire*
*They both cover their mouths and look up. Billy has gone back to waxing his golden boob, the slot monkeys are too busy raining coins down to the interlopers in the garage to care, and Doof, Norm, and Phroooaggh are currently trying to out bluff each other when the best hand is a 7, 9 off suit…*
Burninator: Hrrrm!
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Yeeees. Now we take. They not miss it! Next time we meet, they all HATE each other. Long game play. Big gamble, but me gambles pay off! … I collect the money, you carry machine. You have muscley arm again.
Burninator: Hrrr!
*With a nod and a pump of the one muscley arm coming out of the back of his neck, the wingaling dragon uses ALL of his majesty and consummate V’s to corral the original prototype Indoctrinator machine as Food grabs the money. They sneak out … but to what end! TUNE IN TO THE NEXT STORYLINE TO FIND OUT! EVILEST OF THEM ALL begins in 2024!*
1. How will your vehicle respond to poker chips being flung.
Ovi: Those tiny things won’t even get the ablative armor and chemical coating ready to sweat! DO they not know that mass matters in projectiles!?
2. Dialog from you racers as they cross the card bridge.
Ian: Uh, be prepared for this um, bridge? Bridge haha, to crumble like a house of cards.
Billy: House? It’s seven cards. This thing is flimsier than the premise of our promos!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: HEY! STOP METAWRITING AND GET TO THAT FINISH LINE! DADDY NEEDS A NEW MOD!
Ovi: Would be a lot simpler if we could fly on baby Byakhee wings … or float like a ghost … or use our own large inflatable teammate to reinforce the bridge …
3. Dialog from your racers regarding the go go girls.
Ian: OH! Uh … well … haha … hellooooooooo nurse!
Ovi: Are we sure that’s not just the Forest Force? Or the ENTIRE CAR Planning Committee? How do we know Uncle and Memaw aren’t in there…
Billy: I just threw up in my mouth a little.
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: WOOO! LADY LUCK SHINES ON DOOF!
Phroooaggh: There is no way you just won by slacking off and gambling after taking a month off. Where’s the justice in that?
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Billy: It’s almost like gambling our money in our own building back to our boss was NOT effective race preparation! … Oh well I still have my GOLDEN BOOB!
*He pulls down his shirt to show the golden boob is taped to him like a nipple pasty.*
*We open up in an unusually empty garage of the Angry Mad Chemists in the garage of the DEI building. As the camera spins around we see nobody in the garage, nobody at the meeting table, nobody guarding the refrigerator or the inventions. The camera pans up and we find the benefactor of the AMC, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, sitting at a blackjack table. Next to him is the resident eldritch anti-Chthulic crusader PHROOOAGGH the Relentless. Norm the Normal Human (who is really a giant robot mech) stands in the dealer’s pit. They appear to be playing blackjack.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: GENTLEMEN! It’s all about luck this month! Lucky number 7! We have enjoyed a nice celebratory month for our first Silicone Cup win…
Billy: Don’t worry my precious, we’ll get you a companion next year. For now here.
*Billy sits at a video poker machine but he isn’t playing, he’s polishing his golden boob in a very provocative way. And next to it he places the old, rotting, unwashed Athletic Cup from way back when. He pushing a button on the machine and actually wins by accident.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: YES! That’s just the practice we need. Keep it up William. Hit me dealer!
Norm the Normal Human: That;s a king. 25. You bust.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Hmmm … *Doofenthinks* Hit me again.
Phroooaggh: … You are an idiot aren’t you?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I don’t uh … actually know the rules of this game. It’s like Go Fish right?
*Phroooaggh facepalms and grabs his Z staff. He bops Doof on the head and a little light appears on the Z and Doof.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Whoa … WHOA! I KNOW HOW TO PLAY! READ EM AND WEEP BOYS! TWENTY NI-oh … oh I lost. Just like life.
Billy: Isn’t it a little risky to have us all up here getting addicted to gambling instead of prepping the car or watching the garage?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: … Who’s going to come all the way out HERE to see us? With Dominicus gone to torment that wrestling place, EOD on hiatus, and Marty dealing with a coup in his own team … nobody cares!
Billy: I still think it’s a big gamble. Right Ovi? Ian?
*We zoom over to see them both sitting at the slots, drool dripping from their mouths as they absentmindedly and robotically shovel coin after coin into the slots. Occasionally one of them will win and give a “WOOT!” and spill coins down to the garage below.*
Ovi: … mumble grumble … three sevens … coin coin coin, not rings NO RINGS …
Ian: Oh yeah sure, uh Billy, blah blah uh blah … blah heh haha blah.
*Billy just throws his hands out to the side at the two guys while looking at Doof as if to say, “SEEEEEEE!?” Doof has however now put his nose to the table and he and Phroooaggh are actually having a spirited game of Hold ‘em with Norm. Billy sighs*
Billy: There is no way we survive this month’s race.
Ovi: No no hot dogs can’t power the chemical engine. Need better cuts. Ribeye or higher.
Ian: Blah blah chaos, blah blah I’m so sexy.
*Meanwhile … down in the garage … a small white rabbit hops into view. He looks up at the idiots not knowing when to hold ‘em or knowing when to fold’em. The bunny look adorable … then sneers evilly and breathes a tiny belch of fire before leaping up onto a console and hitting a button that unlocks and opens the basement door. Sneaking into the basement walks a fully re-limbed and re-intelligenced … Rd. Ztrimhsnefood! He shuffles and clomps with his uneven steps and hunch back over to a device …*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: *whispering* Yeeeeeees. You do good Bunninator! This serve us well. We make them do me bidding! We make them our SERVANTS. They have no choice!
*Rd. Food then aims a large tesla coil looking device at the bunny and turns it on. In seconds the form of the bunny is transformed back into the dragon body of the BURNINATOR!!!!!*
Burninator: BRAHAHAHAHAHAH! *belches fire*
*They both cover their mouths and look up. Billy has gone back to waxing his golden boob, the slot monkeys are too busy raining coins down to the interlopers in the garage to care, and Doof, Norm, and Phroooaggh are currently trying to out bluff each other when the best hand is a 7, 9 off suit…*
Burninator: Hrrrm!
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Yeeees. Now we take. They not miss it! Next time we meet, they all HATE each other. Long game play. Big gamble, but me gambles pay off! … I collect the money, you carry machine. You have muscley arm again.
Burninator: Hrrr!
*With a nod and a pump of the one muscley arm coming out of the back of his neck, the wingaling dragon uses ALL of his majesty and consummate V’s to corral the original prototype Indoctrinator machine as Food grabs the money. They sneak out … but to what end! TUNE IN TO THE NEXT STORYLINE TO FIND OUT! EVILEST OF THEM ALL begins in 2024!*
1. How will your vehicle respond to poker chips being flung.
Ovi: Those tiny things won’t even get the ablative armor and chemical coating ready to sweat! DO they not know that mass matters in projectiles!?
2. Dialog from you racers as they cross the card bridge.
Ian: Uh, be prepared for this um, bridge? Bridge haha, to crumble like a house of cards.
Billy: House? It’s seven cards. This thing is flimsier than the premise of our promos!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: HEY! STOP METAWRITING AND GET TO THAT FINISH LINE! DADDY NEEDS A NEW MOD!
Ovi: Would be a lot simpler if we could fly on baby Byakhee wings … or float like a ghost … or use our own large inflatable teammate to reinforce the bridge …
3. Dialog from your racers regarding the go go girls.
Ian: OH! Uh … well … haha … hellooooooooo nurse!
Ovi: Are we sure that’s not just the Forest Force? Or the ENTIRE CAR Planning Committee? How do we know Uncle and Memaw aren’t in there…
Billy: I just threw up in my mouth a little.
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: WOOO! LADY LUCK SHINES ON DOOF!
Phroooaggh: There is no way you just won by slacking off and gambling after taking a month off. Where’s the justice in that?
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Billy: It’s almost like gambling our money in our own building back to our boss was NOT effective race preparation! … Oh well I still have my GOLDEN BOOB!
*He pulls down his shirt to show the golden boob is taped to him like a nipple pasty.*