JROK & HKW presents: Hardcore Heaven
Sept 12, 2023 23:16:14 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Kira Izumi, and 2 more like this
Post by Jesse Jamester on Sept 12, 2023 23:16:14 GMT -5
J-ROK and HKW Presents:
Hardcore Heaven
Hardcore Heaven
At Maui Beach In Hawaii, USA
September 13th, 2023
SHOW INTRO
Open on Maui beach where it is standing room only as fans cheer, and shake their water bottles as a drone flies over them, getting a wide shot of the estimated 6,000 fans. The crowd does a dueling chant of “JROK!!” and “HARDKORE WORLD!!”
Fade to Psycho KGB, Guillermo O’Bannon and and a sunburned Phil Blauer at the announce position at ringside. All three are wearing Hawaiian shirts
Guillermo O’Bannon: Hello everybody and welcome to Maui! JROK and Hardkore World have met halfway in the middle of the Pacific. We have an amazing show here tonight where the best of Japan take on the best of the West Coast! I am thrilled to be here with JROK’s Psycho KGB!
Psycho KGB: It's great being here with you too Guillermo. I'm Psycho KGB of JROK game and tonight we see the greatest death match company in the world take on the greatest hardcore company in the world!
Guillermo O’Bannon: And we are contractually obligated to sit next to Phil. .
Phillip Blauer: (has his finger on his IFB earpiece) I can barely hear you, Gilligan, but I’m pretty sure you asked me how I keep such a deep rich tan? It’s really none of your business but I’ve been getting some of these famous Hawaiian rays each day for about 12 hours a day to get a base tan.
Psycho KGB: While out partner here looks like burnt leather, we have a great show for you tonight. With many once in a lifetime matches taking place right here! Including HKW World Champion Cross Reccoba taking on JROK Visual Kei Champion, Brendan Harding in our main event!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Yeah, you don’t look good, Phil.
Phillip Blauer: Nonsense. Soon all this lobster red and purple will morph into a cocoa brown tan. Now if someone could please bring my mai tai’s straw to my lips, I seem unable to move my arms…
They ignore him
Guillermo O’Bannon: I cannot wait Psycho KGB, we’ve got six title matches, lego matches, and a match where fans can bring their own weapons.
Psycho KGB: That's right Guillermo. And if these Hawaiian fans are anything like the ones in Japan. We're in for a treat with that one! But you can't forget about the bash at the beach and spiders nest death match either!
Guillermo O’Bannon: And look at this turnout! There’s gotta be four, five thousand people here on this beach!
Phillip Blauer: I think a lot of these people don’t have homes anymore and just live here, but still impressive!
Match One
Trios Rules Match
30 Minute Time Limit
TEMERARIO, Drake Manson, Hayley Grimes
vs.
Little Dragon, “The Drone” Dana Daniels, “The Salford Squid” Callum Cornwall
Drake Manson and Little Dragon start off trading arm drags. Manson rolls out of the ring but turns around and looks up to see Little Dragon flying at him with a suicide plancha, so he ducks. Dragon crashes into the railing, but as Drake is witnessing the carnage, Dana “The Drone” Daniels scratches Manson’s back from behind. Inside the ring, Callum Cornwall takes a swing at TEMERARIO, but he ducks, atomic dropping Cornwall, and then hits him between the eyes with a pele kick. Haley Grimes dives through the ropes catching Dragon with a suicide plancha against the guardrail. Manson rolls into the ring and then catches Dana Daniels with a slingshot crossbody on the floor. TEMERARIO tried to hit a huracanrana, but Cornwall sat out into a tigerbomb for a two count. Cornwall grabbed a side headlock on TEMERARIO, but Haley Grimes hit him with a Crash Bootycoot flying hip attack, and Drake Manson applies an omoplata crossface called the Freeze Dry Seal. Little Dragon tried to slide into the ring to try and stop it, but Joey Little Horse came out of the crowd and tomahawk chopped him to prevent him from breaking up the Freeze Dry Seal, forcing Squid to tap out. After the match, Little Dragon and Joey Little Horse brawled to the back as Drake Manson, TEMERARIO, and Haley Grimes celebrated in the ring
Guillermo O’Bannon: “What a great trios match to begin Hardcore Heaven!”
Psycho KGB: “JROK with an early win, and we’re just getting started!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: (chuckles) “That’s true, but I’m sure Hardkore World will get on the board pretty soon.”
Phillip Blauer: “Yeah, or maybe we’ll just set your car on fire with you in it!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Phil!”
Phillip Blauer: “What? I’m just doing what you guys were doing.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “We were doing good natured ribbing.”
Psycho KGB: “Yeah!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Tone it down. Jesus, Phil. We have company.”
Phillip Blauer: “Fine.” (folds his arms) “You know, for someone named Psycho, you’re really pretty thin skinned.
Match Two
J-ROK Trios Championships
Trios Rules
60 Minute Time Limit
Simon Cruise, Suikerboise, and Joe Nobody Vs. Heroes 4 Hire ©
Fumio: "(This match is a trios match and is set under lucha rules! No tags are required! This match is set for one fall and is at a sixty minute time limit! Now if the champions get disqualified, get counted out or can't win within the time limit they will lose their championships and the belts will be vacated!)"
Guillermo O'Bannon: "No Champions advantage in this J-ROK Trios Championship Match!"
Psycho KGB: "(That's right O'Bannon-san. If our champions can't get the job done, they lose the belts! There's no sneaking out of a fight in J-ROK!)"
The match starts with Suikerboise in the ring. His wife is mopping around the ring. She's really scrubbing out the bloody mats. Her husband is facing off against Mitsuo Shimada. Both men brawl all over the ring. With Shimada showing impressive speed. Suikerboise does his thing and knocks down one third of the most dominant trios champions in J-ROK history.
Suikerboise tags out to Cruise. He lays out the champ with lefts and rights. Shimada dodges a kick and knees him in the gut. He slams him hard with a Suplex before tagging out to Storm. Storm and Simon go back and forth. Cruise hits a bitchin' dropkick followed by a wipeout '18. He goes for the pin but it's stopped by H4H.
Nobody tags in and they work Storm with some double team combos. Joe goes for a perfect placement but gets dodged. Storm runs the ropes and clocks him with authority with a nasty storm strike ripcord lariat for the win.
Daemura: "(Your winners of this match and STILL J-ROK Trios Champions… Heroes 4 Hire!)"
Fumio: "(This match is a trios match and is set under lucha rules! No tags are required! This match is set for one fall and is at a sixty minute time limit! Now if the champions get disqualified, get counted out or can't win within the time limit they will lose their championships and the belts will be vacated!)"
Guillermo O'Bannon: "No Champions advantage in this J-ROK Trios Championship Match!"
Psycho KGB: "(That's right O'Bannon-san. If our champions can't get the job done, they lose the belts! There's no sneaking out of a fight in J-ROK!)"
The match starts with Suikerboise in the ring. His wife is mopping around the ring. She's really scrubbing out the bloody mats. Her husband is facing off against Mitsuo Shimada. Both men brawl all over the ring. With Shimada showing impressive speed. Suikerboise does his thing and knocks down one third of the most dominant trios champions in J-ROK history.
Suikerboise tags out to Cruise. He lays out the champ with lefts and rights. Shimada dodges a kick and knees him in the gut. He slams him hard with a Suplex before tagging out to Storm. Storm and Simon go back and forth. Cruise hits a bitchin' dropkick followed by a wipeout '18. He goes for the pin but it's stopped by H4H.
Nobody tags in and they work Storm with some double team combos. Joe goes for a perfect placement but gets dodged. Storm runs the ropes and clocks him with authority with a nasty storm strike ripcord lariat for the win.
Daemura: "(Your winners of this match and STILL J-ROK Trios Champions… Heroes 4 Hire!)"
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Coming up is a match between Super Sake Presents: Off The Wagon and The Anointed in a match where the fans here will bring the weapons these two teams will use to beat each other to a pulp.”
Psycho KGB: “It’s this type of fan interaction that makes JROK the cutting edge wrestling company in the world today.”
Phillip Blauer: “Oh yeah? Well we have a 1-900 number.”
Psycho KGB: “Why?”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Jonnie still owes these Russian guys money from some bad shows and 1-900 numbers are still big out there.”
Match Three
Fans Bring The Weapons Death Match
30 Minute Time Limit
30 Minute Time Limit
The Anointed (“The High Roller” Wesley Crane and Alexander Von Blankenship)
Vs.
Super Sake Presents: Off The Wagon (Quake and Randy Angel)
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Coming up is a match between Super Sake Presents: Off The Wagon and The Anointed in a match where the fans here will bring the weapons these two teams will use to beat each other to a pulp.”
Psycho KGB: “Take a picture of you and the weapon you brought and send it to the JROK website to be featured in promotion materials. It’s this type of fan interaction that makes JROK the cutting edge wrestling company in the world today.”
Phillip Blauer: “Oh yeah? Well we have a 1-900 number.”
Psycho KGB: “Why?”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Jonnie still owes these Russian guys money from some bad shows and 1-900 numbers are still really big out there.”
Fumio Demura: “The following match is scheduled for ONE FALL, and is a Non-Title Fans Bring Your Own Weapons Match! Sanctioned under JROK rules, this bout will have a 30 minute time limit!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “The Anointed looking to make a global impact here tonight against a JROK team the way they have made an impact on the West Coast for the past year.”
Fumio Demura: “Introducing first; from Amsterdam, in The Netherlands; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 215 pounds…ALEXANDER VON BLANKENSHIP!! And his partner is from Syracuse, New York; Standing 6 feet 1 inch tall; Weighing 223 pounds…“THE HIGH ROLLER” WESLEY CRANE!!! They are The HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS…THE ANOINTED!!!”
“I’m So Paid” by Akon. A thick cloud-like haze fills the entryway, and brilliant purple lights create an almost angelic like atmosphere.The lights go back to normal and out steps “The High Roller” Wesley Crane, Alexander Von Blankenship, and Hasbulla to a chorus of boos from the beachgoers. Hasbulla has a whistle in his mouth and blows it over and over. AVB has a conceited smirk on his smug face while Wesley Crane stands on the stage with the Hardkore World Tag Team title belt wrapped around his waist. Crane looks around at all the booing fans. Wesley Crane lowers his aviator sunglasses and gives everyone a cocky grin. Alexander Von Blankenship holds his arms out, soaking in all of his own glory, before mouthing the words "Always Very Blessed" as he points to the Hardkore World Tag Team Title wrapped around his waist. AVB looks out at the hostile Hawaiians, his smirk now a scowl. “The High Roller” Wesley Crane and Von Blankenship slowly make their way to the ring, the entire time looking around at the fans brandishing their weapons. Von Blankenship points to a fan holding up a cookie sheet and says "I'm better than you, I’m better than you." as he goes by. Hasbulla obnoxiously blows that whistle while hyping the two up. Once at ringside, Wesley Crane climbs up the steps. But before he enters the ring, he holds onto the ring ropes. AVB walks up the steps to the ring, stopping before he gets inside, giving the ring the sign of the cross. Crane wipes his feet off on the ring apron before stepping through the ropes. Crane stands in the center of the ring and holds his arms wide open, while AVB yells out "Always Very Blessed" as the boos grow louder and trash starts to hit the ring.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Due to their personalities, all four men were fairly dismissive of their opponents tonight, unfamiliar with one another from wrestling on different sides of the Pacific.”
Psycho KGB: “I think once this match begins, they’ll get to know each other real well.”
Phillip Blauer: “Both these teams fight hard for their sponsors Super Sake and Arby’s. Mr. KGBsan. Do they have Arby’s in Japan?”
Psycho KGB: “I believe they have one in Okinawa, but I haven’t been.”
Phillip Blauer: “Oh you must try it. They have the meats. That’s never happened before.”
Psycho KGB: “I will consider it.”
Fumio Demura: “And their opponents, From a Local Bar, Standing 6 feet 1 inch tall, Weighing 200 pounds…RANDY ANGEL!! His partner is from Sydney, Australia; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 180 pounds…KRIS QUAKE!! They are SUPER SAKE PRESENTS: OFF THE WAGON!!!”
A deep, throaty, laugh not unlike that of Lemmy of Motorhead gargles over the PA system. However, just as soon as it started it is replaced by the treble-busting vocals of Freddy Mercury of Queen dropping a red hot ballad on y’all. Specifically, “Play the Game” by Queen. As the song persists, “The Mental Killer” Kris “Triple Quake” Quake and “The Corn Snake” Randy Angel- better known as Off the Wagon- walk out. Well, walk is being generous, Randy is stumbling drunk- still drinking from a flask- and Quake’s walk is more of a waddle since he appears to be trying to flex all several of his muscles at the same time. In Triple Quake’s right hand is a Stacker-2-based cocktail and in his left is a bottle of chewable vitamins. They slowly and sloppily make their way down to the ring. Upon entering it, Randy Angel goes up to a turnbuckle and throws up the referee sign for “field goal” and Quake goes to the apron. Suddenly we’re bathed in way too many strobe lights while Triple Quake pours the vitamins into his mouth and chews, then drowns them in the cocktail. If you think this is probably not healthy at all- don’t worry because he SPITS THEM OUT ALL OVER! It looks like vomit as he makes an angry face and flexes at the crowd but whatever, this match is gonna start soon!
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Randy Angel and Alexander Von Blankenship start off trading right hands! Meanwhile Wesley Crane brawling with Kris Quake right next to him!”
Randy Angel does a spinning windup punch and floors AVB in the corner. Kris Quake runs over and gives Von Blankenship a facewash in the corner. On the outside, Hasbulla blows his whistle incessantly. Wesley Crane clocks Angel from behind with a forearm. Quake gives Wesley Crane a combination of punches that back him into the ropes. Quake irish whips Crane into a clothesline from Angel, but he ducks. Crane hits the ropes and comes back with a running european uppercut to Angel.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “This so far has been a wild brawl. These four clearly touched a nerve with their pre-match promos.”
Phillip Blauer: “The Anointed was well within their rights. But these two future Dark Side of the Ring topics, Randy Angel and Kris Quake were way over the line, much like their driving.”
Psycho KGB: “These two think The Anointed are a couple of entitled punks that are in over their heads.”
Phillip Blauer: “Yeah, well they also think beer is an entree.”
Wesley Crane runs at Randy Angel, but Angel backdrops him over the ropes to the floor below. Alexander Von Blankenship is bombing on Kris Quake with a flurry of punches, but Quake responds with a roaring elbow that knocks him through the ropes
Guillermo O’Bannon: “This match goes to the floor!”
Psycho KGB: “I knew it would.”
Phillip Blauer: “I did too. I probably knew it before you did.”
Randy Angel goes through the ropes out onto the floor and a guy in board shorts hands him a beach umbrella. He holds it over his head and cracks Von Blankenship across the back with it. AVB arches his back in pain. Quake has Wesley Crane up in a suplex but drops him on his head in the sand with a brainbuster. Angel tries to hit a homerun with the beach umbrella in AVB’s stomach.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “That young man just handed Kris Quake a surfboard. It looks like Quake is trying to figure out how to use it but AVB superkicks it into his face!”
Phillip Blauer: “Little known fact, that was the original ending of Point Break.”
Psycho KGB: “Von Blankenship now squirting tanning oil into the eyes of Randy Angel!”
Phillip Blauer: “He’s probably going to try and drink it for the alcohol content. Sad.”
Wesley Crane takes a full cooler from a group of fans on a beach blanket and tosses it at a blinded Randy Angel’s head with a sickening clank. AVB takes one of the Aloha Spirit beers out and pops it open with his teeth
Psycho KGB: “AVB now pouring that beer on Randy Angel’s face and body, what a disrespectful little punk.”
Phillip Blauer: “He is replenishing Randy’s rapidly depleting alcohol levels so he doesn’t talking to dead relatives mid-match. It’s called giving a damn.”
AVB turns around into a yakuza kick by Kris Quake. Wesley Crane tries to intervene but Quake is ready for him with a dropsault. Kris pulls Von Blankenship by the hair back to the ringside area. An overly excited, and heavily inebriated woman takes her bikini top off and hands it to an incredulous Kris Quake. Quake can’t believe his eyes,
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Guys, cut away! Cut away!”
Phillip Blauer: “This used to happen alot actually. I miss it.”
Kris Quake starts choking AVB from behind with the string bikini top. Von Blankenship kicks his legs out and tries to get his fingers underneath the string to escape. But Wesley Crane grabs him from behind with a german suplex on the sand. Crane rolls Quick back into the ring and then grabs the surfboard. He places the surfboard on top of Quick and climbs to the top turnbuckle
Guillermo O’Bannon: “‘The High Roller’ Wesley Crane dives off the top with a flying elbow to that surfboard on top of Kris Quake!!”
One!
Two!
Kick out!
The Anointed kick and stomp Kris Quake while he’s down. AVB pulls Quake up into a double underhook, and then drops him on his face with an angel’s wings. They continue to kick and stomp Quake until the camera pulls out and Randy Angel is staring at them with an unsettling smile
Phillip Blauer: “I know I don’t like the look on his face.”
Randy Angel has one of the Aloha Spirit beers that AVB poured on him and drinks from it. Von Blankenship sneers at him and runs over but Angel spits the beer in his face. He smashes the bottle over Von Blankenship’s head
Psycho KGB: “Ow! Some glass nearly got into my eye!”
Phillip Blauer: “That’s good.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Phil!”
Phillip Blauer: “I mean instead of the fans! Luckily your eye was there to shield ‘da people.’”
Wesley Crane runs at him and punches Angel a few times, but Angel fights back and grabs him in a headlock. He starts giving Crane noogies
Psycho KGB: “The Big Brother Headlock!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Wesley Crane takes out Randy Angel with a spear!
Crane gets to his knees and is blindsided by a shining wizard kick by Kris Quake. Quake grabs Crane by the arms and curb stomps his face into the surfboard. Randy Angel staggers up
Phillip Blauer: “Hachi machi, that fella can barely stand.’”
Psycho KGB: “You get used to it.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Randy Angel passes out, but not before catching Wesley Crane with a cradle on the way down! The Sloshy Shuffle!”
One!
Two!
Kick out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Meanwhile, Kris Quake pulls AVB up by the hair, but Von Blankenship blasts him with a small chain he had wrapped around his fist!”
Psycho KGB: “Hey! The fans didn’t bring that!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “AVB makes the cover with his feet on the ropes!”
One!
Two!
Three!
Fumio Demura: “Winner of this match by pin fall -- THE ANOINTED!”
Alexander Von Blankenship tosses the chain back to Hasbulla and rolls under the ropes with his hand up. Wesley Crane joins him at ringside and hands him his Hardkore World Tag Team title belt
Psycho KGB: “This guy can’t help but cheat, even in a weapons match!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “You get used to it. Randy Angel had his back turned and AVB snuck in that chain shot to get the 1-2-3. Sorry, we’re not all like that.”
Phillip Blauer: “I am.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Right, Phil is. Nevertheless, the Hardkore World Tag Team Champions, The Anointed with a big win over the former XHF World Tag Team Champions and two time JROK Super Duos Champions!”
SEGMENT
The camera pans from the entranceway over to a makeshift beach that has been created just off the ramp before the guardrails. Two blonde models frolic around a tiny pool, throwing a beach ball back and forth. Sitting under a fake palm tree is the West Coast champion of the Hardkore World. Spotting the cameras on him, Cruise lowers his COOL SHADES, and gives a wolfish smile.
Simon Cruise: HELLO, HEEEELLO, HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLOOOOOO - HKW, J-RoK, welcome to another chill instalment of Catching the Wave! Dig the vibes. My outrageous guest at this time is a former X*Crown champion...
El Rey walks out onto the fake beach; more interested in the models than the fact that this was supposed to be an interview. The Anointed All-Star’s appearance cues the graphics.
Simon Cruise: Thank you so much for joining us, dude.
El Rey (more concerned with the models): Whatever man.
Simon Cruise: You know – a lot of people didn’t want to appear on Catching the Wave. They looked at the freak accidents on the first two segments-
El Rey (double take): Wait, what?
Simon Cruise: And thought we were somehow dangerous for our guests.
El Rey (trying to clarify): I think that was before my time-
Simon Cruise: They saw Marty Donovan, and then Cross Recoba, both nearly die in downing incidents, and thought – that could have been me! Like take a chill pill. For real. ...But this dude next to me, is SO BRAVE-
El Rey: I... am.
Simon Cruise: He saw the writing on the wall, and laughed in the face of death.
El Rey: I’m a much stronger swimmer than Donovan or Recoba!
Simon Cruise: Exactly bro! This dude knows what time it is! SURF'S UP! Why, if I wasn’t concerned with my guest’s safety, would I have had my boy Donnie Valentine build this incredible set?
Model #2: The pool is leaking.
Donnie Valentine (off camera): Sorry Drift!
Simon Cruise (yelling off camera): Never apologize Donnie, you do great work. (back to the model) Maybe avoid standing next to the cables. (back to El Rey who is trying to sneak off set) BRO, now that you’re feeling comfortable, it’s time to put you in the hot seat-
Simon gestures to an Iron Maiden that doesn’t look like it matches the rest of the summertime sandy aesthetic. It might be subconscious, but it certainly feels like Simon is trying to kill his guests. ...and he's one of HKW's top faces.
El Rey (triple take at the Iron Maiden): (bleep) this!
The models stand in El Rey’s way before he can storm off.
Simon Cruise: Cool. Moving on to our SURPRISE GUEST.
El Rey: If it’s not Doja Cat in a string bikini I swear I’m-
Simon Cruise: Another former X Crown champion-
El Rey: Oh no.
The Final Boss steps out in a grotesque Hawaiian shirt, and orange swim trunks. The J-RoK faithful cheer for this paragon of violence, while the HKW crowd are less fond of his Marty stabbing ways. Matching there confused reaction is El Rey, who REALLY dislikes his mentor for stealing the Junior Heavyweight Championship, but would never say anything – because he likes breathing.
Simon Cruise (trying to find his cue cards): Hopefully this dude needs no introduction.
Zoran Sainovic (ignoring Cruise): El Rey, my boy, you must not have gotten my messages.
El Rey (scowl): Sorry we keep missing each other; I guess you’re just too busy with your JHC schedule.
Zoran Sainovic (nodding): It has been taxing. (cold smile) But I bear good news. All your training is about to pay off...
Reaching into his shirt pocket, Sainovic pulls out some paperwork. Reaching around in the trunks for a minute, Zoran produces a knife. Only to remove the end of it so it becomes a pen.
Zoran Sainovic: Ze XHF Annihilator! Ze only Network tournament I’ve yet to own. Yes, I could win it myself – but I zought, wait, why not become a triple crown winner at ze same time as my favourite protege?
El Rey: Uh... that was very thoughtful. Actually, I was kind of thinking about signing up for the tournament as the Anointed with Steve.
Steve Awesome. The name doesn’t even register a reaction on Zoran’s facial tick, which is what’s scary.
Zoran Sainovic: Steve Awesome? You sure know how to hurt a guy, Rey. ...I know how to hurt people too.
Hard swallow. Think fast. It is a guaranteed win.
El Rey: Uh, but I’d much rather win it with you.
Grabbing the pen, El Rey scribbles his name on the paper.
Zoran Sainovic: Good. ...And zat one for ze team...
Not even looking, El Rey scribbles his name again.
El Rey: Wait, what was the first one for?
Flipping to the first page, El Rey looks horrified.
El Rey: NO!
Zoran Sainovic: YES! I felt bad about how cruiserfest ended. You were ROBBED. So at ze next Hardkore World event... I’m going to defend my Junior Heavyweight Championship against YOU, El Rey.
The crowd cheer almost as though, as much as they hate Zoran, they are really excited for the prospect of El Rey dying. Looking like his life just flashed before his eyes, El Rey falls to his knees.
El Rey: But we’re friends.
Zoran Sainovic (patting his shoulder): Which is why I want you to win my boy. (eyes narrow) Don’t disappoint me.
Rey looks down at the tag contract.
El Rey: Sainovic & Son?
Zoran Sainovic: Not just for kidney purposes, but ze name of ze team. I have every faith zat Death Trap will end Bloodied Fox, but if he somehow embarrasses me, you’re ze next best zing to wrestling kin, my boy.
El Rey: My Dad is not going to like this.
Zoran Sainovic: Your Dad is being digested by a dinosaur. I hope I’m a better role model zan zat. Now, if you’ll excuse me – I want to get off zis awful segment before I end up drowned like Cross and Marty.
The Final Boss waves to the fans, leaving his new tag team partner to contemplate suicide on the beach.
Simon Cruise: Awesome! There you have it dudes, an episode of Catching the Wave without anyone getting hurt. Radical!
El Rey (looking up in despair): What are you talking about? Killing me now would have been kinder than making me wait a month for... the rematch.
No sooner does Simon give himself a pat on the back, than the giant fake palm tree falls over, hitting one of the models on the head. She lands face down in the puddle of water. Blood is seen. Then bubbles.
Simon Cruise (fight or flight): Donnie run!
Another horrific accident, another day at the office for this wave! Fleeing the scene of the crime, Donnie knocks over the camera.
Match Four
The camera pans from the entranceway over to a makeshift beach that has been created just off the ramp before the guardrails. Two blonde models frolic around a tiny pool, throwing a beach ball back and forth. Sitting under a fake palm tree is the West Coast champion of the Hardkore World. Spotting the cameras on him, Cruise lowers his COOL SHADES, and gives a wolfish smile.
Simon Cruise: HELLO, HEEEELLO, HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLOOOOOO - HKW, J-RoK, welcome to another chill instalment of Catching the Wave! Dig the vibes. My outrageous guest at this time is a former X*Crown champion...
El Rey walks out onto the fake beach; more interested in the models than the fact that this was supposed to be an interview. The Anointed All-Star’s appearance cues the graphics.
CATCHING THE WAVE
With Simon Cruise
Featuring El Rey
Simon Cruise: Thank you so much for joining us, dude.
El Rey (more concerned with the models): Whatever man.
Simon Cruise: You know – a lot of people didn’t want to appear on Catching the Wave. They looked at the freak accidents on the first two segments-
El Rey (double take): Wait, what?
Simon Cruise: And thought we were somehow dangerous for our guests.
El Rey (trying to clarify): I think that was before my time-
Simon Cruise: They saw Marty Donovan, and then Cross Recoba, both nearly die in downing incidents, and thought – that could have been me! Like take a chill pill. For real. ...But this dude next to me, is SO BRAVE-
El Rey: I... am.
Simon Cruise: He saw the writing on the wall, and laughed in the face of death.
El Rey: I’m a much stronger swimmer than Donovan or Recoba!
Simon Cruise: Exactly bro! This dude knows what time it is! SURF'S UP! Why, if I wasn’t concerned with my guest’s safety, would I have had my boy Donnie Valentine build this incredible set?
Model #2: The pool is leaking.
Donnie Valentine (off camera): Sorry Drift!
Simon Cruise (yelling off camera): Never apologize Donnie, you do great work. (back to the model) Maybe avoid standing next to the cables. (back to El Rey who is trying to sneak off set) BRO, now that you’re feeling comfortable, it’s time to put you in the hot seat-
Simon gestures to an Iron Maiden that doesn’t look like it matches the rest of the summertime sandy aesthetic. It might be subconscious, but it certainly feels like Simon is trying to kill his guests. ...and he's one of HKW's top faces.
El Rey (triple take at the Iron Maiden): (bleep) this!
The models stand in El Rey’s way before he can storm off.
Simon Cruise: Cool. Moving on to our SURPRISE GUEST.
El Rey: If it’s not Doja Cat in a string bikini I swear I’m-
Simon Cruise: Another former X Crown champion-
El Rey: Oh no.
CATCHING THE WAVE
With Simon Cruise
Featuring El Rey & Zoran Sainovic
The Final Boss steps out in a grotesque Hawaiian shirt, and orange swim trunks. The J-RoK faithful cheer for this paragon of violence, while the HKW crowd are less fond of his Marty stabbing ways. Matching there confused reaction is El Rey, who REALLY dislikes his mentor for stealing the Junior Heavyweight Championship, but would never say anything – because he likes breathing.
Simon Cruise (trying to find his cue cards): Hopefully this dude needs no introduction.
Zoran Sainovic (ignoring Cruise): El Rey, my boy, you must not have gotten my messages.
El Rey (scowl): Sorry we keep missing each other; I guess you’re just too busy with your JHC schedule.
Zoran Sainovic (nodding): It has been taxing. (cold smile) But I bear good news. All your training is about to pay off...
Reaching into his shirt pocket, Sainovic pulls out some paperwork. Reaching around in the trunks for a minute, Zoran produces a knife. Only to remove the end of it so it becomes a pen.
Zoran Sainovic: Ze XHF Annihilator! Ze only Network tournament I’ve yet to own. Yes, I could win it myself – but I zought, wait, why not become a triple crown winner at ze same time as my favourite protege?
El Rey: Uh... that was very thoughtful. Actually, I was kind of thinking about signing up for the tournament as the Anointed with Steve.
Steve Awesome. The name doesn’t even register a reaction on Zoran’s facial tick, which is what’s scary.
Zoran Sainovic: Steve Awesome? You sure know how to hurt a guy, Rey. ...I know how to hurt people too.
Hard swallow. Think fast. It is a guaranteed win.
El Rey: Uh, but I’d much rather win it with you.
Grabbing the pen, El Rey scribbles his name on the paper.
Zoran Sainovic: Good. ...And zat one for ze team...
Not even looking, El Rey scribbles his name again.
El Rey: Wait, what was the first one for?
Flipping to the first page, El Rey looks horrified.
El Rey: NO!
Zoran Sainovic: YES! I felt bad about how cruiserfest ended. You were ROBBED. So at ze next Hardkore World event... I’m going to defend my Junior Heavyweight Championship against YOU, El Rey.
The crowd cheer almost as though, as much as they hate Zoran, they are really excited for the prospect of El Rey dying. Looking like his life just flashed before his eyes, El Rey falls to his knees.
El Rey: But we’re friends.
Zoran Sainovic (patting his shoulder): Which is why I want you to win my boy. (eyes narrow) Don’t disappoint me.
Rey looks down at the tag contract.
El Rey: Sainovic & Son?
Zoran Sainovic: Not just for kidney purposes, but ze name of ze team. I have every faith zat Death Trap will end Bloodied Fox, but if he somehow embarrasses me, you’re ze next best zing to wrestling kin, my boy.
El Rey: My Dad is not going to like this.
Zoran Sainovic: Your Dad is being digested by a dinosaur. I hope I’m a better role model zan zat. Now, if you’ll excuse me – I want to get off zis awful segment before I end up drowned like Cross and Marty.
The Final Boss waves to the fans, leaving his new tag team partner to contemplate suicide on the beach.
Simon Cruise: Awesome! There you have it dudes, an episode of Catching the Wave without anyone getting hurt. Radical!
El Rey (looking up in despair): What are you talking about? Killing me now would have been kinder than making me wait a month for... the rematch.
No sooner does Simon give himself a pat on the back, than the giant fake palm tree falls over, hitting one of the models on the head. She lands face down in the puddle of water. Blood is seen. Then bubbles.
Simon Cruise (fight or flight): Donnie run!
Another horrific accident, another day at the office for this wave! Fleeing the scene of the crime, Donnie knocks over the camera.
Match Four
Texas Tornado Death Match
30 Minute Time Limit
Steve Awesome and Gavin Drake Vs. SKY Force (Nausicaa Suzuki and Charles)
Nausicaa Suzuki electric chairs the stuffed cat Charles on his shoulders and Charles leapt off, but Gavin Drake catches him and powerslams him. Nausicaa Suzuki catches Steve Awesome with an armdrag and then drops on her back, spinning around on the mat, kicking her legs so neither Awesome or Drake can get her. Awesome stumbled backwards and tripped over Charles for a schoolboy, but Awesome kicked out at two. Drake grabs Charles and sticks him in a corner upside down. He gets a running start and basement dropkicks Charles in the corner. Drake turned around into a running big boot from Nausicaa Suzuki. Steve Awesome tries to sneak up on her but she quickly turns around, and Steve backs off, assuring her he meant no harm. He trips over Charles again, and this time Nausicaa Suzuki helps Charles apply The Paw claw hold to Awesome’s face. Drake pulls Nausicaa Suzuki off and irish whips her into the ropes, hitting her with a claymore kick. Awesome grabs the ropes and JROK official Kōki Sahashi forces Charles to break The Paw. Charles twists Awesome’s finger, bringing him to his knee in pain, but Gavin Drake saves the day with a spear on Charles for the win.
Fumio Daemura: “Here are your Winners, Gavin Drake and Ste-”
All of a sudden Steve Awesome starts kicking Nausicaa and Charles out of the ring. Fumio Demura high tails it out of the ring, and Gavin Drake rolls out of the ring and leaves. Steve Awesome pushes Charles and Nausicca out of the ring and grabs a microphone.
Steve Awesome: “GET THEM OUT OF MY RING!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Oh come on, what is this about!? He’s already won the match.”
Psycho KGB: “He is the Hardcore Champion of the world! He can do whatever he wants.”
Steve is given his hardcore title and he stands in the middle of the ring with it as half the crowd boo him and half the crowd cheer him. The big tweener smirks for a bit before speaking.
Steve Awesome: “Now that I beat up that nauseous girl and the stuffed cat I got something that I want to get off my chest.”
Steve holds up the XHF Hardcore Championship above his head.
Steve Awesome: “I have been the reigning and defending XHF Hard(K)ore Champion of the world for six months. For one hundred and eighty days I’ve taken on all challengers and I’ve left them all laying as I continue to raise the stakes and the value of this championship. Miami, you are lucky I wasn’t scheduled to defend this title on this show or else you would have seen a massacre so brutal your fragile little minds wouldn’t be able to take it.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Oh please. Are we lucky or is he?”
Psycho KGB: “Hey Steve has beaten Jason Long twice, Jesse Jamester, Primal, Rin Kubo and Johnny Sniper to win and retain the Hardcore Championship of the world! He certainly isn’t afraid of a fight!”
Phillip Blauer: “Anyone seen that cat?”
Steve takes the belt and hangs it over his shoulder and then poses for the hard cam.
Steve Awesome: “I want you to get used to this image. Get used to me holding this title for a long time because it’s not going anywhere and-”
“Cthulhu” by Gunship begins playing and the fans begin booing in advance of who they know is going to come out. “Zolothach” Tabitha Osborne steps out onto the entrance stage with a smile as the fans boo her. She has microphone in hand.
Zolothach: “I see that you have only defended that title against one woman and she only counts as half if you get my meaning. I think I speak for everyone here when I say that I should be next in line for that title! Next Jrok show, you and me in the ring. I’ll carve you up so badly that you will think what Zoran did to you at the Rumble forever ago was child’s play!”
Steve gets a good look at Zolothach and shakes his head in disgust.
Steve Awesome: “Man….why is everyone in this division ugly except me?”
Steve shakes his head and steps forward to lean over the top rope.
Steve Awesome: “But you know something about me sweetheart, is that I’m an equal opportunity ass kicker and if you think I should beat up more women I’d be more then happy to start off with you!”
Steve pats his title.
Steve Awesome: “You want a shot at my title you got it, but don’t be surprised when you realize why I’m the new face of HardKore!”
Tabitha Osborne just grins, it isn’t the prettiest of sights.
Zolothach: “You haven’t even dreamed of being as hardcore as me. Not even a little bit.”
Zolothach spins on her heel and heads to the back.
Awesome hits a crotch chop, raises up his title once more and heads back toward the locker room.
SEGMENT
Tuna Meltzer broke a story that when Marty Donovan was waiting to go out for his match, “The Salford Squid” Callum Cornwall made a comment about Disney vacations being too expensive to Scorpion, and preferring Universal Studios. Marty goozled Squid by the throat and in the fracas fell into some monitors, knocking them down on Hardkore Audio Kenny Valentine Jr., nearly killing him. Jonnie Valentine announced that Kenny was suspended indefinitely for destruction of company equipment.
Tuna Meltzer broke a story that when Marty Donovan was waiting to go out for his match, “The Salford Squid” Callum Cornwall made a comment about Disney vacations being too expensive to Scorpion, and preferring Universal Studios. Marty goozled Squid by the throat and in the fracas fell into some monitors, knocking them down on Hardkore Audio Kenny Valentine Jr., nearly killing him. Jonnie Valentine announced that Kenny was suspended indefinitely for destruction of company equipment.
Match Five
Hardkore California Championship
Thumb Tacks and Legos Death Match
30 Minute Time Limit
Joey Little Horse Vs. Florida Man
Florida Man was given a banana by one of the ring beachgoers on his way to the ring. He ate it menacingly during Joey Little Horse’s introduction. Little Horse starts off the match with tomahawk chops, which Florida Man returns with hard right hands. Florida Man abandons that and begins biting Little Horse’s forehead. Little Horse grabs Florida Man by his alligator lucha mask and snapmares him onto the thumbtacks and legos! Joey Little Horse smashed the thumbtacks further into Florida Man’s back with forearms. Florida Man staggers backwards and steps on the banana peel he left in the ring. Little Horse smiled as Florida Man slipped, but Florida Man grabbed him for balance and cradle DDTed him into the thumbtacks!! Florida gets up and stomps his boot until the fans clap along. When Little Horse gets up, Florida Man gives him some Sweet Crotch Music to the groin. Florida goes for a big splash, but Little Horse rolls out of the way and Florida hits all the tacks and lego pieces. Joey Little Horse got on Florida’s back with his knees and applies a bow and arrow, pressing Florida’s chest into the thumbtacks. Florida refused to give up so Little Horse released the bow and arrow, but Florida Man did not get up. Joey Little Horse kicked him a little to see if he was still conscious but Florida Man was out. Little Horse went to pin him, but Florida Man was playing possum and inside cradles him for a close two count. Florida Man lifts him up for an airplane spin, and spun him so many times the beach crowd lost count. Florida finally dumped him on the tacks and legos, and fell back into the corner, dizzy as well. Joey Little Horse, with his back covered in thumbtacks, seized the moment and clotheslined Florida Man in the corner. Florida staggered out of the corner, and Joey Little Horse climbed to the top turnbuckle. Florida Man sweeps Little Horse’s legs out, perching him on the top turnbuckle. He climbs to the second rope, but Joey headbutts him and goes up and over with the Greetings From Charlotte sunset Tigerbomb gets reversed into a hurricarana! Little Dragon comes out from the back. Causing a distraction! Florida Man with the alligator clutch and the win!
Psycho KGB: "Florida Man beat the odds and got some eyes on him now! How much more can he do before getting the recognition he deserves?!"
Match Six
Spiders Web Death Match
30 Minute Time Limit
Jesse Jamester Vs. El Rey
This was a great back and forth match between two giants in their respective promotions. Jesse being literal compared to the smaller Rey. The men would brawl on the scaffolding above the spiders nest of barbed wire all over the ring. El Rey would have Jamester a few times, but Jesse would reverse an xed out and turn it into the jesterplex off the scaffold! Both men crash down, but it's El Rey who crashes first.
Fumio Daemura: "Your winner of this match... Jesse Jamester!"
This was a great back and forth match between two giants in their respective promotions. Jesse being literal compared to the smaller Rey. The men would brawl on the scaffolding above the spiders nest of barbed wire all over the ring. El Rey would have Jamester a few times, but Jesse would reverse an xed out and turn it into the jesterplex off the scaffold! Both men crash down, but it's El Rey who crashes first.
Fumio Daemura: "Your winner of this match... Jesse Jamester!"
Match Seven
Beach Side Bash Death Match
30 Minute Time Limit
El Combatiente Vs. Disney's Marty Donovan
The sand is glistening as the tide retreats back into the ocean. Sun glaring down and wind swishing the palm tree tops as fans stood behind a barricade and on bleachers that lined the spot before the beach began. Tonight, it was inter-promotional warfare at its most extreme – JROK and HKW rosters were being sent to battle. Bragging rights, pride, and respect were all on the line as these two promotions geared up for one of the most anticipated matches of the evening.
Fumio Daemura: “The following match is scheduled for ONE fall and is a BEACH SIDE BASH DEATH MATCH! This match will have a thirty minute time limit, with a winner being decided by pinfall or submission only. There are no disqualifications and falls count anywhere on the island!“
Psycho KGB: “What a cross promotional match up we’ll be seeing here next folks! JROK’s El Combatiente faces off with HKW’s Marty Donovan.“
Guilermo O’Bannon: “Taking place on the beach too. Disney’s Marty Donovan is coming off a previous XHF Tag Team title run and his loss to Bloodied Fox for the X*Crown at Tinto N’ Marty’s Mouse Party show.”
Phillip Blauer: “Fact. That means tonight Marty is in need of a win in a big way. The momentum for Donovan has been stalled and tonight is an opportunity to reignite that momentum to make his way back to the top of the ranks.”
Psycho KGB: “For El Combatiente, this could very well be the straw for him to jump back in the X*Crown picture as the XHF heads towards its October End of Days tour. A win tonight would arguably put El Combatiente in the conversation as someone who should be facing Bloodied Fox sooner rather than later.”
Fumio Daemura: “Introducing first, representing JROK! Hailing from Los Angeles, California! Weighing in this evening at two hundred nineteen pounds! Globally affiliated as one of the BANG! Bros! Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for — EL COMBATIENTE!”
“To Live and Die In L.A.” by 2Pac Shakur plays somewhere on the island like an anthem, and the crowd waves its hands up and down to the beat as El Combatiente comes out wearing purple and black matching mask and attire for this evening’s bout. Once El Combatiente finds the referee on the beach, his music fades and Fumio clears his voice before raising the microphone.
Fumio Daemura: “Introducing next, representing Hardkore World! Hailing from the happiest place on earth, Magic Kingdom, Orlando, Florida! Weighing in this evening at two hundred eighteen pounds! Ladies and gentlemen, Disney’s own — MARTY DONOVAN!”
Suddenly “Something that I want” by Grace Potter broadcasts over the island of Maui as fans look for Marty to appear. Within moments a tugboat horn sounds that draws people’s attention to the water. Here we see two tugboats with a float between them that is being pulled by two speed boats. Suddenly the speedboats kick it into gear and punch it towards the beach, rearing themselves at the last moment, and the float is released from the ropes and surfs towards the sand to reveal a Winnie the Pooh and Onita inspired bodysuit being worn by Marty Donovan.
Psycho KGB: “That’s something you don’t see every day.”
Guilermo O’Bannon: “Disney doesn’t mess around when it comes to taking care of their stars.“
Marty Donovan makes his way up the shore to meet the referee and stand opposite El Combatiente. The referee provides some quick rules and then signals for the bell to get this one started!
DING! Ding! Ding!
El Combatiente arm drags Marty Donovan into the sand. EC quickly grabs the stuffing behind Marty’s neck and sends him head first into a beach chair nearby. Donovan lands awkwardly with his head on the lap of chair and his body leaning straight up on the back of the chair, fully upside down.
Psycho KGB: “Marty has been flipped on his head, literally. It’s almost as though his Winnie the Pooh - uh, Onita, is it Winnita we are calling it? Anyway, the mascot style attire Marty is wearing appears to slow him down and is cutting off some of his peripheral vision.“
Guilermo O’Bannon: “That will be a hindrance I’m sure he took into account. Being a death match and all, Marty’s game plan was to use the suit to protect himself. “
Phillip Blauer: “So far it’s working. Bet he didn’t even — OOOOH! Dropkick to the chest by El Combatiente and the chair and Donovan go rolling backwards!“
Repositioning the chair, El Combatiente takes a few steps back in the sand and quickly darts at it before springing off the chair and delivering a twisting moonsault onto Marty’s chest! He goes for a cover.
One!
Two—
Kick out!
El Combatiente looks around and sees a LifeGuard Tower with a ramp not twenty feet away. Pulling Marty up by the stuffing he rips the stuffing head off the attire and throws it in the ocean. Laying in two punches to the face of Marty before leading him to the guard shack.
Guilermo O’Bannon: “This doesn’t bode well for the Disney man.”
Phillip Blauer: “Those lifeguard towers stand nearly twenty feet off the ground at the top balcony that wraps around the lookout post.“
Psycho KGB: “El Combatiente and Donovan trading blows as they take the ramp. Donovan gets a knee into the stomach of El Combatiente.”
Donovan goes for side headlock as he drags El Combatiente up the incline with the hold locked in. As the two teach the top of the tower and make their way around the back of the balcony, El Combatiente slips free of the side headlock. EC lifts Marty with a back body drop and turns it into a double knee backbreaker as he drops the Disney fan favorite! The drone flying overhead gets a better angle that is shown in a side-by-side picture replay with the live action. EC rolls off his back and springs to his feet looking around before climbing the balcony railing. Jumping towards the tower roof, El Combatiente grabs the edge with both hands and pulls himself up to the roof. At the commentating table, Phillip gets up and leaves the frame.
Psycho KGB: “The JROK audience knows what’s coming when El Combatiente goes high. The luchador has an arsenal of aerial moves that would leave Webster’s wordsmiths dizzy.”
Guilermo O’Bannon: “Marty’s head is exposed too, this isn’t looking good for Disney’s stock prices come tomorrow. “
Twisting moonsault into a senton splash onto the chest of Marty! El Combatiente goes for the cover.
One!
Two!
Thr—Shoulder up!
Psycho KGB: “First near fall goes to JROK’s El Combatiente. “
Guilermo O’Bannon: “Marty is no flash in the pan, KGB. Beneath that Disney surface is a hardened master of yoga and champion trivia captain of Applebees. “
Phillip Blauer: “I think what my partner is trying to articulate is Marty Donovan is far from being done here tonight.“
Psycho KGB: “These fans would hope so too. El Combatiente looks frustrated as he rolls Marty over and is trying to find a zipper for that Winnie the Pooh bodysuit Marty has on.“
Finding the zipper, El Combatiente pulls it down half way before Marty rocks him with an elbow to the temple. Marty flips over on his back and uses his legs to double kick EC in the chest, sending the luchador flying backwards through the glass window of the Lifeguard tower!
Guilermo O’Bannon: “Hope we paid for insurance on the destruction of this beach property.”
Psycho KGB: “Knowing JROK’s upper management, they have paid a high deductible due to past claims.“
Guilermo O’Bannon: “Ah yes, that time in Tokyo is a legend everyone on the XHF network has heard of.“
Psycho KGB: “A sad day for the folks of Japan and a stain on JROK’s reputation. As a representative of JROK, I know the charity we have donated to Tokyo has been substantial, but it will never equate to the loss the Japanese folks have endured.“
Phillip Blauer: “El Combatiente underestimated Marty and is looking like a human pincushion. Marty makes his way inside the guard tower now.”
Donovan drags EC by the left leg through the broken glass to the door of the tower shack. Slamming the door on EC’s leg repeatedly before dragging EC out of the shack to the balcony once more. Marty goes to pick up EC and receives a jawbreaker from El Combatiente instead!
Psycho KGB: “Marty doing some damage to the leg of El Combatiente is a wise strategy. If the lucha star cannot springboard, his arsenal of moves is dramatically reduced.“
Phillip Blauer: “The jawbreaker from El Combatiente looked like a move of desperation.“
Guilermo O’Bannon: “Effective either way. El Combatiente favoring that leg as he hops around on one foot. Pulling Marty to his feet and rubbing the Disney star’s face on the balcony railing as he heads down the ramp. Splinters to the face is never a good day for anyone.“
Back drop by Marty to EC on the ramp! Marty goes for the cover.
One!
Two!
Thr—Kick out!
El Combatiente rolls nearly off the ramp and holds on to a board near the edge. Marty begins stomping EC, trying to shove him off the ramp and fall some ten plus feet onto palettes stacked below the guard tower. El Combatiente catches the foot of Marty and swipes the other leg with a kick. Marty hits the ramp floor and El Combatiente stands up, returning a stomp of his own to Marty’s face before turning around. Using the ramp railing, El Combatiente slaps his thigh twice, checking to make sure his leg was capable before leaping up on the railing and turning around to face Marty’s body below him.
Psycho KGB: “DOUBLE STOMP FROM EL COMBATIENTE!”
Phillip Blauer: “But that leg gives out on impact! El Combatiente rolls off Marty and down the ramp, clutching the leg in pain. This isn’t a good look for the lucha star’s momentum to win this match.“
Marty clutching his chest and EC holding his leg leaves the match at a stalemate currently. Meanwhile, the referee checks on El Combatiente to make sure he can continue on.
El Combatiente: “¡Me niego a rendirme!“
Grabbing the referee by the shirt, EC uses him to pull himself up to his feet and drags himself up to Marty’s position. Grabbing the left leg of Marty, El Combatiente locks in a leg scissors cross knee lock on Marty!
Guilermo O’Bannon: “No bueno for Marty, this submission hold could be it if he can’t find a way out.“
Psycho KGB: “With no rope breaks this could get ugly real quick! El Combatiente is not normally known for his submission holds but as you can see, when the time calls for it, he is capable.”
Phillip Blauer: “Let’s not forget this hold puts a lot of pressure on El Combatiente’s bad leg too. The longer it’s locked in, the more damage he is enduring himself.“
Marty screams in agony as he grabs the edge of the ramp and pulls himself towards it. With a second pull, Marty’s upper body slumps off the side of the ramp and the weight of him hanging over the edge causes El Combatiente extreme pain on his leg! EC screams out in agony as he hurries to relinquish the hold. Finally doing so, Marty disappears over the edge of the ramp. El Combatiente clutches his leg and scoots to the edge where he looks over to see where Marty went. SMASH! A punch lands on the bridge of the nose of EC’s mask from Marty, who is standing on the stack of palettes that are below the ramp. Pulling EC off the ramp edge by the neck, Marty holds him up in a stalling suplex before executing a brainbuster on the wood palette’s he stands on!
Phillip Blauer: "A modified version of Repunzel’s Tower from Marty Donovan!”
Psycho KGB: “El Combatiente is motionless!“
Marty goes for the cover!
One!
Two!
Three!
Bell sounds and the audience hears the JROK ring announcer’s voice declare the victor.
Fumio Daemura: “The winner of this match by pinfall, Marty Donovan!“
Psycho KGB: "El Combatiente put up a fight but in the end it was Marty Donovan who proved to have the game plan for victory tonight at Hardcore Heaven."
Guilermo O’Bannon: "Disney's stock rises some more!"
Phillip Blauer: "HardKore World with another win this evening, yes!"
Match Eight
YTA Championship Match
Falls Count Anywhere
60 Minute Time Limit
Kilroy Evans Vs. Kira Izumi ©
The match would be a highlight reel of violence and batshit insanity. Izumi amped up the ultraviolence taking things outside early on. He's pull out bamboo skewers and jam them into Evans' head before dropping him with a decayed state of mind. A quick two count as the blood flows early on. Kira and Kilroy both duke it out up the beach and into the city. Smashing into cars and using signs as weapons. Evans would lock in the make you humble camel clutch, Izumi would break out and drive him into the brick wall. At one point later on Evans would dive off a shelf in a gas station. Piggybacking on Izumi. Kira keeps on his feet and drives him through the window. He'd try to burn Evans after dowsing him in gas, but would be stopped before he can light the lighter. Kilroy would cHole him out with the gas pump. The two would soon fight to the roof of the gas station. With both men going back and forth on the roof. Evans would flip out of a kira driver '91 and hit the bad touch off the roof and into a dumpster for the win.
Fumio Daemura: "Your winner of this match and NEW YTA Champion... Kilroy Evans!"
SEGMENT
Phil’s Luau. Phil is dressed in a Hawaiian shirt on a stage on the beach. Behind him is Hardkore Security Larry Valentine Jr. dressed in a grass skirt with two seashells covering his plump bosoms.
Phillip Blauer: Aloha, and welcome to Phil’s Luau. Something I hope to do every month as long as Hardkore Jonnie Valentine will fly me out here. You know, as a two time Desert News Hawk Award winner, I couldn’t help but investigate some of the mysteries of Hawaii. Why does the water at Wai’anapanapa State Park mysteriously turn red once a year? Is the Hawaiian bigfoot known as Kanaloahuluhulu real? Is The Kine a real thing or are they all just messing with us? We’ll answer all this and more, but my first guest is teaming with Quake to take on The Anointed at Hardcore Heaven in Maui, please welcome, Randy Angle!
Traditional Hawaiian drummers play the pahu to give Randy Angel a polynesian beat as he walks down the long stage. A fire dancer entertains to fill time while Angel takes his seat.
Phillip Blauer: Randy Angle.
Randy Angel: Angel.
Phillip Blauer: (squints at index card) I have Randy Angle.
Randy Angel: Well as much as mom probably would like that to be the case, I am indeed Randy Angel- like my brother, Nelly Angel.
Phillip Blauer: Well this is embarrassing. Lare Bear?
Larry Valentine comes over and takes Phil’s index card, and crosses out the wrong name with a pencil. He writes in the correct name very slowly, with his tongue out because he’s thinking.
Randy Angel: Say I heard there was going to be mai tais here- are those coming soon or....?
Phillip Blauer: Of course, this is a class establishment. We just need to get this straightened out.
It’s taking a very long time.
Phillip Blauer: It’ll just be a moment.
Randy Angel: No that's fine, just uh.....waiting for that drink...
Larry finishes writing down the right name on the index card and hands it back to Phil.
Phillip Blauer: Randy Angel. You will be wrestling in a fans bring your own weapons match. Is this match a sign of a collapsing society?
There's a long pause where Randy Angel contemplates the question, the fall of society and the ingredients that actually make a mai tai.
Randy Angel: I can see why you might think that but no, J-ROK always does this. The most amazing part is that I can actually kind of guess what this match is like. Most of the stuff Kira or Nausicaa have booked sound like a mad-lib. So about tha-
Phillip Blauer: (reads from index card) Now I heard you were adopted. That’s gotta be a funny story.
Randy Angel: Did my mom write that card? No I'm absolutely Nelly's older brother, no steps, halfs, or sort-ofs in there.
Phillip Blauer: No? God, this thing is cooked. Larry?
Larry Valentine Jr. hands him a new index card.
Phillip Blauer: My next guest will be wrestling Jesse Jamester at the upcoming Maui show. He’s got this business coursing through his veins, please welcome El Rey!
The Hawaiian drums start again and Randy Angel expresses disbelief. Hardkore Security Larry Valentine Jr. taps him to move over. Phil motions for him to move down, so Angel rolls his eyes and gets up to move to the next seat. El Rey confidently strides on stage, He sits down in the first chair.
Phillip Blauer: Growing up the son of a wrestler, you are a student of the game. You grew up consuming everything about this business. As a child, what was your favorite Spiders Web Death Match?
El Rey: What the hell is that? Is that a real thing?
Larry Valentine Jr.: Hawaiian punch sir?
Larry presents a coconut filled with Hawaiian punch with a straw.
Phillip Blauer: (slurps from straw) You gotta get it fresh from the tap here, it’s the best.
El Rey: This is how God’s should drink Hawaiian Punch. If the good people at Hawaiian Punch are watching right now, your future spokesperson is right here.
Phillip Blauer: They would be lucky to have you. Now, you were in Hardkore World for approximately 45 seconds before The Anointed accepted you as their newest member. What tips would you have for a color commentator to get noticed by The Anointed and not have to sit and watch wrestling matches anymore?
El Rey: Not be a wrestling commentator and be a wrestling prodigy instead like yours truly.
Phillip Blauer: Food for thought. My next guest is an inspiring story of a gal who went from the kitchen to the Hardkore Women’s Championship match. Please welcome, Mickie Fury!
The Hawaiian drums start playing and a couple of hula dancers come out to fill time as Mickie Fury walks on stage. El Rey shoos Randy Angel to move over a spot, which he begrudgingly does
Phillip Blauer: Welcome to Phil’s Luau. Did you get enough poi? No? Larry? Can you get her some poi?
Hardkore Security Larry Valentine Jr. nods and leaves to go get her a plate.
Mickie Fury: Phil why did you invite me?
Phillip Blauer: I think it’s very brave what you’re doing. Your husband went down with an injury, and instead of starving to death, you pick up the mantle and bring home the bacon.
Mickie Fury: Sorry Phil it is 2023 I can earn my own money. I don't need my husband there.
Larry Valentine Jr. shows up with a plate of poi and tries handing it to Mickie.
Mickie Fury: Thanks Larry don’t need poi but thanks for going through the trouble of getting one!
Phillip Blauer: Sorry, he means well. My next guest liked JROK so much, he bought the company! Please welcome, Kira Izumi!
A Don Ho impersonator comes out and sings “Bubbles”. Larry Valentine Jr. gestures to Mickie Fury that she has to move down a chair. Mickie protests but eventually moves over to the next chair. Randy Angel has to keep moving down one spot
Don Bro: (singing) Tiny bubbles…
Kira Izumi sits in the chair closest to Phil
Phillip Blauer: You’ve got the the falls count anywhere match with Kilroy Evans for the YTA Championship in Maui. Clearly this is a dream match, both of you are known for being pioneers of suffering. So the obvious question is,...if a prospective color commentator candidate is having problems getting past the front desk, what are some tips to lull the security guard into a false sense of security so that I can run past him and get on the elevator?
Kira Izumi: Thank Ya Phill, it's nice to be here. First of all Kilroy, kill is right, because in Hawaii it's going to be like pea-
The audio goes out as we see Izumi mouth out more horrible things.
Kira Izumi: and one more thing! I've been defending this belt all over the world. Spreading the word of J-ROK all over! And i do that again tonight against one of the best here in softcore world! And ta yer question there Philly, my goto is to yell bomb really loud and point in the opposite direction. But if yer too chicken for that, go blow a toilet up.
Phillip Blauer: I see. Follow up question, is there a scenario where you could see me doing JROK backstage interviews when your regular guy got sick?
Kira Izumi: Unfortunately i don't make those decisions right now. But let me think on it. You got a certain style to ya...
Phillip Blauer: I’m not hearing no there. Coming up is my next guest, The HKW Champion Cross Recoba!
The Hawaiian drums begin again and the fire dancers come back on stage. Phil drums his desk while Larry Valentine Jr. gets an annoyed Kira Izumi to move down one chair. Cross Recoba walks out and gives the booing fans a bow
Phillip Blauer: I cannot believe I got you as a guest! This is probably the best episode of the soon to be long running Phil’s Luau.
Cross Recoba: You're not wrong there, Phil. You've hit the summit with this one...
Phillip Blauer: What would you say is a game changer in an interview process for a color commentator that is looking to get far, far away from the nepotism of a West Coast territory that doesn’t value my intrinsic charisma?
Cross Recoba: You've got to know the strategy, know the decision-making process behind each wrestler's actions. If you can get into that psyche then you can actually tell viewers something they don't know and can't see rather than just repeating what they can clearly see on their own screen.
Phillip Blauer: Very helpful. In Maui, you take on Brandon Harding in a best of three falls match. Can you imagine any scenario in which you would need three falls?
Cross Recoba: Brendan's an accomplished martial artist but if he believed in those skills, he'd be in that arena not in mine but he still has a puncher's chance. His offense might be scattered all over the place and you've got to wonder why he doesn't focus it around his Zen Driver more like I have mine set up for my finishing moves but he still manages to pull off the impossible. So, if he catches me with a lucky shot or if I tweak a muscle when I lift him up for Up All Night in Dakota or Garibaldi's Guillotine? Then yeah, I might need the third fall to take the win.
Phillip Blauer: Look, I’m the guy that predicted Big Cass getting over. I know this business better than it knows itself. And I think I can guarantee you winning all three falls.
Cross Recoba: The Kalmin Watts debacle reminded me you never take the win for granted.
Phillip Blauer: I have so many more questions…
A bloodcurdling scream cuts through the broadcast.
Phillip Blauer: Well, you know what the tourist getting bitten by a shark means. Our time is up. But join us next week when Phil’s Luau uncovers what happened to flight Malaysia Airlines MH370!
Larry Valentine Jr.: Oh, little update. I might be wrong about most of that.
Phillip Blauer: Not now, Larry!
The Hawaiian drums play as the fire dancers, hula dancers, and the Don Ho impersonator play us out.
Match Nine
JROK Singles Rules
30 Minute Time Limit
James Raymond Vs. Kalmin Watts
Fumio Daemura: “The following match is scheduled for ONE fall with a thirty minute time limit!”
Psycho KGB: “We’re deep into the show here with only a few matches left to feed this hungry Maui audience. “
Guilermo O’Bannon: “Dinner is coming folks, and it’s going to be a multiple coarse meal for the fans of both HKW and JROK to feast on. I assure you of that! “
Fumio Daemura: “Introducing first, representing JROK! Hailing from Coventry City, England! Weighing in this evening at one hundred eighty six pounds! He is the twenty twenty three King of Hokkaido tournament winner, ‘The Ruthless Star’ — JAMES RAYMOND!"
“Styles Clash” by Yonosuke Kitamura plays throughout the island as we see James Raymond come walking down the beach aisleway. Around the ring he goes until he finds the steps and walks up them to the center of the apron. Giving the fans a pose before entering the ring.
Psycho KGB: “A technical piranha in the ring, James Raymond has been the sharpest knife in the drawer when it comes to battling the best JROK has to offer.“
Guilermo O’Bannon: “Tonight he will be tested to see if that holds true when he crosses to HKW’s talent pool KGB.“
Fumio Daemura: “Introducing next, representing HardKore World! Hailing from Tulsa, Oklahoma! Weighing in this evening at two hundred sixty pounds! Ladies and gentlemen of Maui, give it up for — KALMIN WATTS!”
"Boomer Sooner" by the University of Oklahoma roars throughout the island and here comes Kalmin Watts with an energy about him. No wasting time, Kalmin gets to the ring and goes straight to the turnbuckle to an eruption of cheers!
Guilermo O’Bannon: “And it’s about that time ladies and gentlemen. “
Phillip Blauer: “Watts time that is. Here we go baby!“
DING! Ding! Ding!
Watts and Raymond circle the ring before grappling in the center of the ring with a collar and elbow hold, jockeying for the advantage at the opening of this match. Watts sends Raymond rolling backwards into his corner as he shows his strength and size advantage right away. Kalmin walks towards James and goes to lift him up but James dropkicks the knee and sends Watts face first into the second turnbuckle. Raymond grabs the neck of Watts and pulls him to his feet before dropping Watts with a neckbreaker to the knee!
Psycho KGB: “James Raymond using that quickness he possesses to slip out of the hands of Watts and attack where he can.“
Guilermo O’Bannon: “It’s going to take a lot more than quick strikes and burst moves to stop Watts. He is larger than life and has been a beast unleashed in Hardkore World.”
Phillip Blauer: “He’s a special type of strong and James Raymond is finding that out right now.”
As James goes to lift Watts up, he’s tossed in the air like pizza dough and lands flat on his chest courtesy of Kalmin! Lifting Raymond up, Watts sends him to the ropes and hooks Raymond by the waist for a big sidewalk slam. Watts into the cover!
One!
Two—
Shoulder up!
Watts pulls Raymond to his feet and clubs him over the back twice before positioning him for a powerbomb. Heaving Raymond up to his shoulders, James punches Watt in the face with a barrage of punches and reverses the powerbomb into a hurricanrana! Watts lands on the second rope chest first. James comes rushing at him and throws his whole body on top of the back of Watts and slides off his back to the outside ring area. Turning around, James pops up and uppercuts Watts causing him to fall off the second rope to the canvas as a result.
Guilermo O’Bannon: “Raymond showing the finesse that won him the King of Hokkaido tournament in JROK this year. “
Psycho KGB: “No quit in James Raymond. He doesn’t stop fighting until the bell sounds. Watts had him in size advantage but James is showing the speed and accuracy of his strikes.“
Phillip Blauer: “James Raymond gets back in the ring and grabs the left ankle, looking for an ankle lock it looks like. “
Raymond with the ankle lock has Watts crawling for the ropes but Watts turns his body and uses his free leg to kick James in the chest twice. Watts pulls his legs in and then double kicks James in the chest sending him back first into the turnbuckle! Getting to his feet, Watt sees Raymond coming at him, back body drop! Watt rolls to a knee and is kicked twice in the chest by James as he tries to return to his feet. A third roundhouse kick is dodged by Watts, before he kicks James in the stomach and goes for another powerbomb! James grabs the mask and turns it but is still powerbombed into the canvas for his troubles!
Phillip Blauer: “The power of Watts proves too much for Raymond in that exchange.“
Psycho KGB: “Yes, but it looks like Watts’ mask was turned by James – an accident or strategy, we can only speculate. Either way, Watts is having trouble adjusting that mask and this is giving James Raymond time to recover.“
Rolling to the apron, James Raymond slowly climbs to his feet using the ropes and ascends the turnbuckles of a nearby corner. As Watts squares away his mask problem, James Raymond comes sailing off the top rope with a flying back elbow that hits Watts square in the nose and drops the big man to the canvas! James goes for the cover.
One!
Two!
KICK OUT!
Guilermo O’Bannon: “All but the three! Watts stays in it with a heavy pushup that sends James Raymond rolling back to the apron.”
Psycho KGB: “That was a near pin fall but not it as we see James use the ropes to springboard from the apron, to the top rope, and diving leg drop across a hunched over Watts!“
Phillip Blauer: “Watts’ head spikes into the canvas and James Raymond rolls him over for another cover!“
One!
Two!
Thr–SHOULDER UP!
Raymond looks at the referee with disbelief, before he mounts Watts’ chest and begins to lay in punches. Watts grabs Raymond’s left fist and turns it, before clubbing James with a forearm that sends him rolling to the corner. Watts gets up, shaking off the brutal leg drop/fameasser he took and sees Raymond positioned in the corner. Rushing towards him, Raymond uses the top rope and throws his legs over the head of Watts, but Watts stops and snatches James out of midair and turns around quickly! Running to the center of the ring before powerslamming Raymond to the canvas! Watts with the cover!
One!
Two!
KICKOUT!
Guilermo O’Bannon: “These fans are on the edge of their seats!“
Psycho KGB: “The back and forth shows just how much this match means to both of these competitors here tonight.”
Watts lifts up James Raymond and irish whips him to the ropes, ducking down to a knee, Kalmin Watts grabs James Raymond by the stomach with his trademark iron claw hold! James tries to break free but Watts has it locked in good. Watts goes to lift him up for the Stomach Claw Spinebuster! Raymond knees Watts in the face! Raymond lands on his feet, step-up enziguri to Watts! The big man staggers but doesn’t fall down and Raymond hits the ropes. Sprinting back at Watts, Raymond leaves his feet and is caught by Watts as he turns Raymond inside out with a spinebuster! Watts transitions quickly and locks in the Sooner Squeeze!
Guilermo O’Bannon: “The Sooner Squeeze!“
Psycho KGB: “Raymond is in the center of the ring! This doesn’t bode well for the JROK representative!“
Phillip Blauer: “He has to tap out! This is no run-of-the-mill hold to turn your nose to, Watts is dangerous when he locks this in!”
Raymond clenches his fist as he looks for hope in reaching a rope, but his eyes begin to flutter. The 2023 King of Hokkaido winner blinks twice before his eyes shut completely. The referee lifts his arm and it drops to his side, showing no life. Signaling for the bell, the referee forces Watts to break the hold and the HardKore World athlete does so without much fight.
Fumio Daemura: “Winner of this match due to match stoppage… Kalmin Watts!”
Match Ten
JROK New Wave Championship Match
Mystery Balloon Death Match
60 Minute Time Limit
Darlene Price © Vs. Tuxedo Mask
Darlene Price started off with a hip toss and an arm drag, but Tux countered with an arm twist. He runs up the ropes and then rolls her up into a la majistral cradle for a two count. Tuxedo Mask went out to the apron, and then slingshot himself over into a DDT. He climbed to the top turnbuckle, and popped one on the balloons, and hundreds of legos fell out. Tux jumped off into a dragon rana but Darlene sits out into a tigerbomb on the legos. She lights up Tuxedo Mask with elbow and knee strikes, and then irish whips him into the ropes, taking him over with a flying headscissors. She goes up to the top turnbuckle, and pops another mystery balloon with a chair in it. She comes down off the top rope with the chair, but Tuxedo Mask rolls underneath it. Darlene turns around into a handspring spear on the legos from Tux. Tuxedo Mask hops on the middle of the top rope with the chair in his hands and backflips into an asai moonsault, smacking her with the chair. Tuxedo Mask climbs to the top turnbuckle and flips into a corkscrew moonsault, but Darlene rolls out of the way. Darlene twists his arm and then hits him between the eyes with a pele kick. She goes up top and pops another balloon, and broken glass falls all over the canvas. Darlene gives Tuxedo Mask a 619, and then pops into a springboard double stomp. Tux staggered up to his feet and Darlene give Tux a RU486 RKO into the broken glass for the 1-2-3.
Match Eleven
HKW Women's Championship Match
Fatal Four Way
60 Minute Time Limit
HKW Women's Championship Match
Fatal Four Way
60 Minute Time Limit
Mickie Furry Vs. Yuki Sakaraba Vs. Rin Kubo Vs. Ri Eun-Ae
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Coming up next fans is a historic moment as our Hardkore Women’s Championship returns for the first time since 2006. This title goes back to 1994, with champions like Ms. Alexandria Macabre, Yuku Shiro, “Sexy” Anjanette Turner, Horror Girl, Suzie Machina, Natalie Burrows, Madison Dyson, and one of tonight’s competitors. Two time champion Ri Eun-Ae, the former Makoto Jupiter, who will be taking on Mickie Fury, and two fierce competitors from JROK, Rin Kubo and Yuki Sakaraba.”
Psycho KGB: “It would be an honor for any one of these ladies to win a championship going that far back. Both Kubo and Sakaraba have won gold all over Japan and in the rest of the globe, but I’m sure Rin and Yuki will do everything they can to be the victor.”
Phillip Blauer: “I for one miss all the cool women we had at the top back then. Wrestling can be a bit of a sausage fest if you’re not careful.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Phil, that is not why we’re bringing back the Hardkore Women’s Championship.”
Phillip Blauer: “Of course not, but let’s call it a happy accident.”
Fumio Daemura: “The following contest is a Fatal Four Way Elimination match for the HardKore World WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP! This match will have a sixty minute time limit. A competitor can be eliminated only by pin fall or a submission that takes place inside the ring. There is NO DISQUALIFICATION and NO COUNT OUTS for the following contest. Ladies and gentlemen of MAUI! ARE YOU READY TO GET HARDCORE!?!"
The fans cheer for the passionate ring announcer from JROK.
Fumio Daemura: “Here tonight are some of the pioneers of the Hardkore World Women’s Division, two time champion Ms. Alexandria Macabre!”
Alexandria Macabre is in the front row and waves to the cheering crowd.
Fumio Daemura: “Two time champion Velvet!”
Velvet waves and pretends to get mad at former enemy Macabre for the cameras.
Fumio Daemura: “And five time champion “Sexy” Anjanette Turner!”
Huge pop for the always popular Anjanette. She pats her heart and mouths “Thank you!”
Fumio Daemura: “Introducing first, From Pasadena, California, Currently Residing in Los Angeles, Standing 5 feet 8 inches tall; Weighing 148 pounds, Ladies and Gentleman, I give to you…MICKIE FURY!!!”
“Queen of the Night'' by Whitney Houston plays and a spotlight follows Mickie Fury. She’s dressed in a white catsuit and boots. When she gets to ringside she poses for the camera. She vaults over the ropes and jumps into the ring. She does some dance moves and then goes to the corner to await her opponents.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Mickie Fury, the wife of Dirk “Glorious Wolf” van Thijmen last appeared in her hometown of LA, in the Battle of Los Angeles show with Wrestle: UK. Now she’s in Hawaii, in the biggest match of her career.”
Psycho KGB: “She says she is unfamiliar with “The Kawaii Supernova” Yuki Sakaraba. and Rin Kubo? She is about to get a harsh introduction.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Fury is new to the business but she trained under former Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Champion, the South African shooter, Suikerbossie.”
Phillip Blauer: “Just picturing the floors of that gym where she trained. With Suikerbossie’s wife Mein’s attention to mopping? They must have been immaculate!”
Psycho KGB: “She does that every match?”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “It’s the damnedest thing. But Mickie Fury determined to show he belongs tonight amongst a two time Hardkore Women’s champion Ri Eun-Ae, former XHF World Tag Team Champion Rin Kubo, and former XHF Women’s Champion “The Kawaii Supernova” Yuki Sakaraba.”
♫ Oh yeaaaaaaaah! ♫
♫♫ Better watch out for us now! ♫♫
"Run This Town" plays at the beach as Rin Kubo appears on stage holding a SKY Force Fund banner in her hands. She begins to make their way down the ramp.
Fumio Daemura: “Introducing next, From Kawasaki, Kanagawa, Japan, Standing 5 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 147 pounds; The Enforcer of SKY Force…RIN KUBO!!!”
By the time she’s been announced she’s sitting on the apron and then rolls under the bottom rope. Rin climbs up to the top turnbuckle and has her right fist out towards the crowd and her left on her right breast.
Psycho KGB: “SKY Force have been having their problems with Donzig as of late, but this is a big opportunity for Rin on her own. While she has been an Angels of Sakura Champion, Rose City Tag Team Champion, and a XHF Tag Team Champions and a two time J-ROK Power Ballads/Super Duos Champions this would be her first opportunity to win a singles title.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “She has said she wants to make SKY Force the preeminent group in JROK and hopes a win here tonight winning the Hardkore Women’s Championship would go to helping achieve that. She’s definitely the sleeper in this match. Everyone else in this match has been very vocal about their chances, but she could sneak in and win this whole thing. She’s a very capable tag team wrestler, just waiting for her big break. With Ri Eun-Ae’s inactivity, Mickie Fury’s inexperience, and Yuki Sakaraba’s confidence, we could see Rin Kubo best them all.”
Phillip Blauer: “Aw, I was kind of hoping she would bring the cat.”
Psycho KGB: “Phil, why do you have a cat carrier?”
Phillip Blauer: (slides it closer to himself) “It’s where I keep my lunch.”
Psycho KGB looks at Guillermo who shrugs.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “It is. But he was totally going to kidnap that cat. Rin Kubo says that unlike the other three she has something to prove to herself, the JROK fans and SKY Force, that she can win the big one.”
Fumio Daemura: “From Across The Universe, Standing 5 feet 2 inches; Weighing 110 pounds, Please Welcome…"THE KAWAII SUPERNOVA" YUKI SAKARABA!!!”
“Shining Star” by Mitsuo Matsubara plays Yuki Sakaraba walks down the aisle way and slides into the ring, looking at her two opponents in the ring.
Psycho KGB: “Here is the former XHF Women’s Champion, FWA Anarchy Champion, FIW World Tag Team Champion, DW World Heavyweight Champion, two time DW Shooting Star Champion, LAW World Tag Team Champion and IJWF Tag Team Champion. For my money, she’s the top seed going into this thing.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “She says she’s more experienced than anyone in this match, but she is conveniently leaving out Rei Eun-Ae who has been around since 1998.”
Psycho KGB: “And hasn’t wrestled since 2006.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “That is true. She says she wants to win the Hardkore Women’s Championship because it is a storied championship, but the fact that she can rub the Hardkore fans’ nose into the fact that a JROK wrestler won it would sweeten the deal.”
Phillip Blauer: “Good. Most of our fans’ noses could use a good rubbing. And a tissue.”
Fumio Daemura: "Finally, making her return after 17 years; From Olympia, Washington; Standing 5 feet 10 inches tall; Weighing 138 pounds; The Two Time Hardkore Women’s Champion...REI EUN-AE!!!"
"Adrenaline" By Rosetta Stone plays and the Maui fans leap to their feet and cheer. Makoto Jupiter walks out and slaps the hands of the fans. She gets to the front row and hugs and shakes hands with Velvet, Anjanette Turner, and Alexandria Macabre.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Rei Eun-Ae, formerly known as Makoto Jupiter, making her return to wrestling world. Her last match was in February of 2006 in Portland, where Rei Eun-Ae competed in a triple cage match for this very belt with with then champion Tamara Sanchez, Horror Girl, Domino, The Microshocker, Vampira. The Women's Championship was won by that woman right there, “Sexy” Anjanette Turner.”
Psycho KGB: “She’s going to find a lot has changed since she last laced up her boots. Rin, Mickie, and Yuki will make sure of that.”
Phillip Blauer: “Well, she’s wrestling at least three other women in a Hardkore match. At least she knows that hasn’t changed.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Rei Eun-Ae has dreamed of coming back to the ring and becoming a three time Hardkore Women’s Champion, but she’s got a very tall order ahead of her to get that done. At least she knows she has these Hawaiian fans on her side.”
Phillip Blauer: “Yeah, that and a dollar can’t buy you a pineapple.”
DING! Ding! Ding!
A four women don’t move, eyeing one another cautiously, staying in their respective corners.
Psycho KGB: “Most of these women are unfamiliar with one another. None of them want to be the first to make a mistake.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Rin Kubo rocks Rei Eun-Ae with a european uppercut. Yuki Sakaraba tries something on Mickie Fury but she hip tosses The Kawaii Supernova.”
Rin Kubo walks over to Fury and grabs her by the hair, headbutting her. She tries to scoop Fury up but she’s got six inches on her. Kubo plants her feet and tries a second time, getting the rookie up for a bodyslam. She turns around just in time for Rei Eun-Ae to cartwheel into a handspring elbow popping the crowd.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “The former Makoto Jupiter still has it!”
Psycho KGB: “But does she have enough of it to defeat these three young lionesses?”
Rin Kubo gets on top of Fury and batters her with punches. Rei Eun-Ae grabs two handfuls of her hair and pulls her up to her feet. She irish whips Kubo into the ropes and belly to belly suplexes her.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Yuki Sakaraba runs at Eun-Ae and catches a dropkick for her trouble!”
Psycho KGB: “Mickie Fury gets one as well!”
Rin Kubo gets a dropkick, and the audience applauds as Rei Eun-Ae is the only woman left standing. She gives a bow, and the Maui audience applauds louder. She pulls Fury up, but Mickie grabs Eun-Ae’s arm and flips her into a judo toss.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Mickie Fury cracks Yuki Sakaraba in the jaw with a forearm.”
Psycho KGB: “She goes for a hip throw but Sakaraba clamps down on her arm with an armbar.”
Rei Eun-Ae irish whips Rin Kubo into the ropes. She dips down for a backdrop, but Kubo catches her with a swinging neckbreaker. Eun-Ae sits up, holding the back of her neck. Sakaraba wrenches up on Fury’s arm, causing Mickie to go down to one knee in pain.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Rin Kubo hits the ropes and stomps Rei Eun-Ae in the back of the head!”
Psycho KGB: “Kubo bounces off the ropes and comes back with a sliding dropkick to Eun-Ae’s face!”
The Maui fans let out a collective “OH!” at the sound of Kubo’s boot bouncing off Rei Eun-Ae’s face. Mickie Fury stands up and hip tosses Sakaraba over by her arm barred arm. Yuki Sakaraba stands up and charges Fury but the more powerful Mickie picks her up and throws her chest first into the turnbuckles getting another “OH!” from the fans.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Mickie Fury irish whips Yuki Sakaraba into the turnbuckles. She pulls Rei Eun-Ae up and irish whips her into Sakaraba in the corner.”
Psycho KGB: “Fury charges in and clotheslines Eun-Ae, squashing Sakaraba behind her!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “But not so fast, Rin Kubo comes in with a dropkick to Fury’s back, squishing all three of them against the turnbuckles!”
The audience roars as Fury, Eun-Ae, and Yuki stagger out of the corner. Mickie Fury gets to her hands and knees and Rin Kubo running punt kicks her in the ribs. The fans wince in sympathy.
Psycho KGB: “Rin Kubo pulls Eun-Ae up in a front facelock, but Rei plants her feet and flips her into a northern lights suplex!”
One!
Rin Kubo gets her shoulder up!
Psycho KGB: “Yuki Sakaraba boots Mickie Fury in the stomach, then goes up high with a roundhouse kick!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Meanwhile, Rin Kubo staggers back into the corner. Rei Eun-Ae uses those long legs and chokes her with her boot.”
JROK official Nobuhiro Toshizō gives Rei Eun-Ae till the count of five to break it and she does. Eun-Ae irish whips Sakaraba into the ropes.
Psycho KGB: “Rei Eun-Ae goes for a spinebuster, but Yuki Sakaraba reverses it into a tornado DDT!”
The impact drives Eun-Ae up to her knees and then she falls flat on her face. Rin Kubo comes with a clothesline but Sakaraba ducks underneath.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Yuki Sakaraba with a high angle german suplex on Rin Kubo!
One!
Two!
Rin Kubo gets her shoulder up!
Yuki Sakaraba gets up and superkicks Rei Eun-Ae in the face knocking her over the ropes to the apron.
Psycho KGB: “Sakaraba with a spin kick to Rin Kubo’s stomach. Micke Fury comes over and catches a punch to the jaw from Yuki.”
Rei Eun-Ae stands up on the apron, and Yuki Sakaraba has a punch for her too but Eun-Ae ducks underneath and goes behind.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Rei Eun-Ae with a back suplex on Sakaraba off the apron to the sand below!!”
The Maui fans let out a huge pop as both ladies lie on the beach trying to recover. Rin Kubo joins the ends of her thumbs and index fingers to form a triangle with the gap before shrinking it down to form a small triangle, placing the gap on her left eye - closing her right eye while doing so - and appears to be looking around.
Phillip Blauer: “What in the Sam Hill is she doing?”
Psycho KGB: “I think Rin Kubo is about to fly!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Kubo hits the ropes and dives through the ropes, catching Rei Eun-Aue with a shoulder tackle!!”
The crowd chants “KUBO! KUBO! KUBO!” as Rin gets to a sitting position and holds her right fist out in front of her while placing her left fist on her right breast in a saluting manner.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “All three ladies getting to their feet, but big Mickie Fury slingshots herself over the ropes into a crossbody on Eun-Ae, Sakaraba, and Kubo!!”
Psycho KGB: “Mickie Fury gets up on the apron, gets a running start, and flips into a somersault senton that knocks Sakaraba down like a bowling pin!!”
Fury rolls Sakaraba back into the ring and climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Rin Kubo is in the ring, and trips Fury, perching her on the turnbuckle steel cable hook.
Psycho KGB: “Rin Kubo climbs up to the second turnbuckle for a superplex, but Rei Eun-Ae gets underneath her and lifts her up for a powerbomb as Kubo does the superplex, with a twist at the end!!”
The Hawaiian fans erupt as all three women are lying on the mat exhausted. Yuki Sakaraba scoops Kubo up and drops her into a tombstone.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Rei Eun-Ae lifts Mickie Fury up into a wheelbarrow, but Mickie uses the momentum to roll up into a DDT!!”
The audience cheers as Mickie Fury gets up and dances while a tired Rei Eun-Ae gets to her feet.
Psycho KGB: “Mickie Fury with her spin wheel kick on Eun-Ae!!”
One!
Two!
THREE!!!
Fumio Demura: “Rei Eun-Ae Has Been Eliminated!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “My favorite to win the whole thing has been eliminated first!”
Phillip Blauer: “You liking anyone is a kiss of death.
Rei Eun-Ae rolls out of the ring holding her face, and walks to the back dejected. The fans in attendance give her a round of applause out of respect. Meanwhile inside the ring, Yuki Sakaraba irish whips Rin Kubo into the corner.
Psycho KGB: “‘The Kawaii Supernova’ Yuki Sakaraba charges into the corner but Rin lifts her up into the sky and lets her crash chest first on the turnbuckles!!”
The crowd lets out a collective “OH!!” at the sound of all the air escaping Sakaraba’s chest. Rin Kubo catches an oncoming Mickie Fury with a standing dropkick. She grabs both of Fury’s arms while Mickie is on the mat.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Rin Kubo batters a helpless Fury’s chest with stomps while holding onto her arms!”
Psycho KGB: “Sakaraba staggers behind Kubo, and reverse waistlocks her, taking her over in a snap german suplex!”
One!
Two!
Rin Kubo rolls her shoulder up!
Psycho KGB: “Yuki Sakaraba irish whips Kubo into the ropes and twirls into a trouble in paradise kick that catches her square in the face!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Sakaraba turns around and hits Fury in the thigh with a stiff kick. Mickie counters a clubbing forearm to the face.”
Psycho KGB: “I think Mickie is the one person in this match Yuki shouldn’t trade strikes with.”
Nevertheless, Yuki delivers a right hook to Mickie’s temple. Fury goes downstairs with a gut punch, and Sakaraba fires back with an elbow shot to the face. Mickie swings with an elbow of her own.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Mickie Fury twirls around with a discus forearm shot that floors Yuki Sakaraba!”
Psycho KGB: “Told you.”
Phillip Blauer: “You predicted the biggest girl here would win a fist fight, you didn’t split the atom.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Phil, stop. Remember your cards.”
Phil looks down at his index cards that say “Don’t embarrass us.” Mickie Fury pulls Rin Kubo up by the hair and irish whips her into the ropes.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Mickie Fury catches Rin Kubo with a huracanrana!!
Psycho KGB: “She sees Yuki Sakarama coming out of the corner of her eye and flapjacks her to the mat!”
The impact bounces Sakarama back up to her feet, and Mickie Fury grabs her with a handstand headscissors.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Fury nearly crushing Sakarama’s head with those powerful calves of hers.”
She rolls through and flips Yuki Sakarama to the mat. Fury kicks Rin Kubo in the stomach and double underhooks her arms.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Mickie Fury with a snap butterfly suplex that tosses Kubo across the ring!”
The Maui fans cheer and Mickie Fury climbs to the top rope, but Sakarama falls into the top rope, crotching Fury on the top turnbuckle.
Psycho KGB: “Rin Kubo goes to the corner, and tucks Fury’s head into her shoulder, then lifts her upside down!”
Rin Kubo walks her out to the center of the ring and twirls around a few times before sitting out into a Kinniku Buster.
Psycho KGB: “The Shikei Hanketsu / 死刑判決, which translated means Death Sentence!!
One!
Two!
THREE!
Fumio Demura: “Mickey Fury Has Been Eliminated!!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “We’re now down to two! Yuki Sakarama and Rin Kubo!”
Psycho KGB: “Yuki grabs Rin from behind by the hair and tosses her over the ropes to the sand below!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Sakarama dives through the ropes with a tope suicida that knocks Kubo into the crowd here on the beach!!”
Yuki Sakarama pulls Rin’s head into her legs for a piledriver, and then lifts her upside down.
Psycho KGB: “‘The Kawaii Supernova’ Yuki Sakarama piledrives Kubo’s head into the sand!!”
Yuki Sakarama rolls Rin Kubo into the ring, and climbs to the top turnbuckle.
Psycho KGB: “Sakarama backflips into a shooting star press!!’
One!
Two!
Rin Kubo kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Yuki Sakaraba applies a fujiwara armbar!”
Sakaraba grinds Kubo’s shoulder into the mat, while pulling up on her trapped arm, trying to hyperextend the elbow. Nobuhiro Toshizō checks in but Rin Kubo shakes her head, refusing to tap out.
Psycho KGB: “Yuki Sakaraba trying to win the Hardkore Women’s Championship by submission here!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Rin Kubo crawling towards those ropes, while Yuki does as much damage to her arm as she can.”
Rin Kubo inches closer and closer to the side of the ring, while Sakaraba cranks up on her whammybarred arm. Kubo finally hooks the bottom rope with the tips of her fingers and JROK official Nobuhiro Toshizō forces Yuki Sakaraba to release the fujiwara armbar. Sakaraba relinquishes Kubo’s arm and climbs to the top turnbuckle.
Psycho KGB: “Sakaraba dives off the top with a flying body press but Rin Kubo catches her!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Rino Kubo then bends back into a bridging fallaway slam known as the Kawasaki Plex!!”
One!
Two!
Yuki Sakaraba rolls her shoulder up!
Rin Kubo gut wrenches Yuki Sakaraba up into a karelin lift and then spins into a tiger bomb.
Psycho KGB: “Kuboliser!!”
One!
Two!
Yuki Sakaraba claps her legs together on Kubo’s head!
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Sakaraba staggers up to her feet, and Rin Kubo grabs a sleeper hold from behind!”
Psycho KGB: “Rin Kubo starts swinging her around and around, until Sakaraba’s feet leave the ground! The Worst Flight!”
Phillip Blauer: “That must refer to a flight where I forgot my Grown Ups 2 DVD.”
The Maui fans cheer as Kubo spins Sakaraba round and round, while Nobuhiro Toshizō tries to check in to see if Yuki is out, with no success.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Sakaraba finally gets her feet underneath her!”
Psycho KGB: “Yuki Sakaraba immediately drops to her knees, shooting the top of her head through Rin’s jaw!”
Rin Kubo stumbles around in a daze while Yuki Sakaraba hit the ropes.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Sakaraba flips her end over end with a Hanson style lariat!!”
Psycho KGB: “Super Galactic Collider!!”
One!
Two!
Thr--
Rin Kubo gets her shoulder up!
Guillermo O’Bannon: “‘The Kawaii Supernova wraps their legs together and bridges backwards into an oriental crossbow!”
Psycho KGB: “The ‘Apollo Lock!’”
The fans cheer as Sakaraba laces her fingers underneath Kubo’s chin and pulls up on her head, while having her crossed legs locked in an indian deathlock. Rin repeatedly shakes her head as Nobuhiro Toshizō asks her if she wants to submit.
Psycho KGB: “Rin Kubo trying to hold on, but Yuki Sakaraba bending her in half!”
Yuki Sakaraba finally abandons The Apollo Lock, and climbs to the top turnbuckle.
Psycho KGB: “Yuki Sakaraba leaps off the top turnbuckle with a double stomp, but Rin Kubo rolls out of the way!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Rin Kubo runs to the ropes and swings at Sakaraba with a lariat that knocks her silly!!”
Psycho KGB: “Burning Sword!!”
One!
Two!
THREE!
Guillermo O’Bannon: “She’s done it! Rin Kubo becomes the first Hardkore Women’s Champion since Madison Dyson defeated Natalie Burrows in 2008!”
“Run This Town” plays as Rin Kubo asks Nobuhiro Toshizō if she really won as he hands her the belt.
Fumio Daemura: “THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND NEW HARDKORE WOMEN’S CHAMPION…RIN KUBO!!!”
Psycho KGB: “She lasted through 24 minutes, and three other competitors to win her first singles title!”
Yuki Sakaraba shakes hands with Rin, who bows her head slightly in gratitude. Rin then holds up the Hardkore Women’s Championship.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “And here comes the rest of SKY Force to help her celebrate!”
As Yuki Sakaraba exits the ringside area, the audience give her a loud ovation. Nausicaä Suzuki, Shizuku Yamamoto, Hayley Grimes, Tabby Scratch & Charles rush the ring and lift Rin Kubo up on her shoulders.
Psycho KGB: “Rin Kubo finally achieves her New Year’s Resolution here tonight.”
Phillip Blauer: “Oh, that reminds me of mine. I have to somehow get more tan.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Phil, you’ll die.”
The former Hardkore Women’s Champions like Velvet, Ms. Alexandria Macabre, and Anjanette Turner give Rin Kubo a standing ovation, and a tearful Kubo bows and thanks them.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Rin Kubo now holding a title that goes back nearly 30 years to 1994. She should be proud of her accomplishment, but wary of being the target of a growing women’s division over on the West Coast…Phil!”
Phil is sneaking up on Charles with his cat carrier. When he’s caught, he slinks back to the announce position.
Psycho KGB: “Coming up fans is our main event, don’t go away!”
SKY Force continue to live it up and carouse in the ring with the new Hardkore Women’s Champion Rin Kubo.
Main Event
Non Title Double Champions Match
Two Out Of Three Falls
60 Minute Time Limit
Brendan Harding Vs. Cross Recoba
Intros
Guillermo O’Bannon: “The sun has fallen, it is night time here in Maui, and a beautiful ocean breeze blows through the ring here.”
Psycho KGB: “And now the main event. JROK Visual Kai Champion Brendan Harding taking on Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Cross Recoba in a best of three falls non-title match.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Champion vs. Champion. A dream match to see who rules the Pacific.”
Phillip Blauer: “Those would be sharks.”
Psycho KGB: “Well, right.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Right, obviously sharks, and then whoever wins this match. These fans have been treated to an amazing show so far, but this is the match everyone is here to see. The two best wrestlers of JROK and Hardkore World, going head to head.”
Fumio Daemura: “The following match is a Two Out Of Three Falls Match, Sanctioned under JROK rules, this bout will have a 60 minute time limit!”
Psycho KGB: “These fans have been treated to an amazing show so far, but this is the match everyone is here to see. The two best wrestlers of JROK and Hardkore World, going head to head.”
Fumio Daemura: “Introducing first, from Cicero, Illinois, now residing in Las Vegas, Nevada; Standing 6 feet 1 inch tall, Weighing 231 pounds; He is the CEO of Tap Out and the two time HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…The Man Worth A Thousand Bullets! CROSS RECOBA!!!”
The dark beach rocks with boos as "My Name is Human" by Highly Suspect as the lights dim and a single spotlight illuminates the stage. Out from the curtain steps Cross Recoba, a titanium cane with a golden lion's head handle in one hand, touching the crucifix necklace for luck with the other. The HCW Diamond title is draped over his shoulder. whilst the HKW World Heavyweight Championship is proudly displayed around his waist. The crowd responds with a cavalcade of boos and jeers. Cross uses the handle of the cane to push his shag hair cut from his face, flicking his head back confidently as he smiles cockily towards the audience. He holds up the cane that has caused so much trouble in the past to an even more venomous response from the fans, and begins down the ramp still holding it aloft. The fans defiantly chant “Hardkore World! Hardkore World! Hardkore World!” Recoba reaches ringside and holds the lions head handle of the cane up to his lips and kisses it for luck. He sets the cane to rest against the ring steps and then climbs them up onto the apron and, with a wipe of his feet, slips between the ropes. He pops up with both hands out at his side, walking forward as if putting his glory on display, and delivers an over-exaggerated bow that causes the fans to heckle and boo even louder. Cross stands to his full height and smirks, stepping over to the far corner to await the beginning of the match.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “At some points in the show, there has been some good natured tribalism, with fans cheering their favorite company’s wrestler with a little bit. But as you can hear from that reaction…”
Psycho KGB: “Everyone hates him.”
Phillip Blauer: “Well, Dog the Bounty Hunter was like a god here so I would take that with a grain of salt.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Phil, he’s trying to change the name of the company.”
Phillip Blauer: “To HKW! I like it. It’s like KFC or TGIFriday’s. It’s hip, it’s now. Why do you fear change? This is why you bring the same lunch every day.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “I like turkey! And my wife won’t stop buying it.”
Phillip Blauer: “Cross Recoba has assured me that Brandon Harding is too boring to care about and I, for one, believe him.”
Psycho KGB: “I wouldn’t be so sure. In Japan, we don’t value sizzle over steak. However, Cross Recoba wrestled another best of three series this summer against Kalmin Watts, with the last two matches being a submission match at Night of Champions and a 60 minute iron man match in Denver.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “That’s right, so we have seen that he has the stamina and fortitude to go an hour. We’ll see if that comes in to play here tonight against Brendan Harding. Cross Recoba said he would prove tonight that ‘HKW’ is the superior promotion.”
Fumio Daemura: “His opponent is from Camden, London, England; Standing 6 feet 2 inch tall, Weighing 222 pounds; He is the JROK VISUAL KAI CHAMPION…’KING ZEN’ BRANDON HARDING!!!”
“GNOSTIC FLESH/MORTAL HELL” by HEALTH x BACKXWASH x HO99O9 plays and the crowd goes wild. Brandon Harding wears a black leather jacket and a silver helmet styled as wolf's head wearing a crown. He soaks in the cheers from the Hawaiian fans, nodding and smiling at them
Psycho KGB: “The JROK Visual Kai Champion and 2022 King of Hokkaido tournament winner Brandon Harding receiving a lot of love from these fans as he tries to cut his way through the crowds towards the ring.”
Phillip Blauer: “Referee Kōichi Eikichi needs to check him for oil from those people. The things they slather on their leathery skin could be used to slip out of maneuvers.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “I’m sure they’ll check him, Phil.”
Psycho KGB: “Brendan Harding is also a former JROK New Wave champion as well as a XHF Tag Team champion when he teamed with Jack Gaines as Black Knife Cabal.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Harding recently bested Jesse Jameson in a Doors, Windows, and Sinks Death Match in Sapporo, Hokkaido, Japan. He is looking to make a similar huge statement here tonight by defeating the two time Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Cross Recoba here in Maui."
Match
DING! Ding! Ding!
Brendan Harding and Cross Recoba walk up to meet in the center of the ring and mutter to one another. They back up and crouch into defensive positions. Harding and Cross Recoba lock up into a collar and elbow tie up. They jockey for position for a few moments, and then Brendan Harding grabs a front facelock.
Psycho KGB: “Brendan Harding locks his hands together and leans back on the front facelock.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Recoba backs Harding back into the corner. Brendan continues to wrench back on the front facelock.”
Recoba slips his head out of the front facelock. He stands Brendan Harding up with an uppercut. Harding answers with a european uppercut of his own. Cross whacks Harding in the chest with a reverse knife edge chop.
Psycho KGB: “The JROK Visual Kai Champion rocks Recoba with another jarring european uppercut.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Cross Recoba with another blistering chop to Brendan Harding’s pectoral while he’s in the corner.”
Phillip Blauer: “Can my guy get a ‘woo?’ No?”
Brendan Harding answers with a right hand, and then grabs a side headlock. He locks his hands together and clamps down on Recoba’s head.
Psycho KGB: “Cross tries to push him off into the ropes, but Brendan Harding hangs on to the headlock.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Recoba lifts Harding up onto his shoulders in a back suplex, but Harding kicks his legs until he lands on his feet back into that headlock!”
Cross Recoba reaches up and pulls Harding’s hair to slip out of the headlock, and apply a headlock of his own. The Maui fans boo, while he cackles at them. Recoba grinds his forearm into Harding’s temple and jawline with his forearm.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Cross flips him to the mat with a side headlock takedown.”
Psycho KGB: “Recoba trying to press Harding’s shoulder to the mat, but Brendan is desperately fighting it.”
Cross Recoba gets Brendan Harding’s shoulders to the mat. JROK official Kōichi Eikichi slides in to make the count.
One!
Brendan Harding rolls Cross Recoba onto his shoulders with a cradle.
One!
Cross Recoba rolls back onto the mat with a side headlock. He clamps his hands together to create a vice around Harding’s head. Brendan finally fights his way back to his feet with Recoba still hanging on to that headlock.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Cross Recoba pushes Brendan Harding off into the ropes. He comes back and Cross has a high extension dropkick for him!”
The Maui fans boo as Cross in on one knee, motioning for applause.
Psycho KGB: “Cross Recoba scoops Harding up and slams him to the mat.”
Cross Recoba snapmares Harding over, and then grabs a hammerlock. The jeers get louder as Harding Recoba pulls up on his wrist behind his back.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Brendan Harding works his way to his feet with Cross Recoba hanging on to the chicken wing.”
Psycho KGB: “Harding does a go-behind to escape the hammerlock, and then cracks Recoba in the side of the knee with a stiff kick.”
Brendan Harding hits Recoba with another kick to the knee, and then cracks him in the face with a right hand.
Psycho KGB: “Brendan Harding with another punch to the face, and Cross Recoba is reeling!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Another hard hook to the jaw backs Recoba against the ropes. He irish whips Cross into the ropes and takes him out with a spinning wheel kick!”
The Maui fans cheer loudly! Cross Recoba gets up to his knees.
Psycho KGB: “Harding kips up into a huracanrana!!”
The audience pops as Recoba rolls out of the ring, holding his head.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Brendan Harding pulls on the top rope and slingshots himself over the ropes onto Cross on the floor!”
The Hawaiian crowd chants “BRENDAN!! BRENDAN!! BRENDAN!!” as Harding and Recoba lie on the sandy beach.
Psycho KGB: “Harding pulls Cross Recoba up into a front facelock and DDTs his head into the sand!”
Phillip Blauer: “That seems innocuous until you realize how long he’ll be washing sand out of his scalp as the result of that.”
Brendan Harding slides back into the ring and waits for Cross Recoba to get to his feet. When he does, Brendan hits the ropes.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Brendan Harding basement dropkicks Cross Recoba into the fans!”
Recoba falls into a group of beach fans who catch him. The rest of the crowd continues to chant “BRENDAN!! BRENDAN!! BRENDAN!!” Brendan Harding steps through the ropes and out on to the apron as Cross climbs onto the apron.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Harding goes for a clothesline but Cross ducks and gives Brendan a reverse STO on the apron!”
The beach rocks with boos as Harding tries to recover on the apron. Cross Recoba climbs back up on the apron.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Cross Recoba with an exploder off the apron onto the sand!”
The fans chant “HARDKORE WORLD!! HARDKORE WORLD!! HARDKORE WORLD!!” at Cross Recoba as he rolls Brendan Harding back into the ring. He climbs up to the top turnbuckle.
Psycho KGB: “Recoba jumps off with a flying spinning forearm smash to the forehead of Brendan Harding!”
One!
Two!
Brendan Harding kicks out!
Psycho KGB: “Cross Recoba Irish whips Harding into the ropes, but the JROK Visual Kai Champion comes back with a shotgun dropkick to the chest!”
The Maui crowd comes to life as both men try and recover.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Brendan Harding pulls Recoba up and cracks him with an elbow to the temple. He backflips into a pele kick that catches Cross right between the eyes!"
Cross Recoba goes down like a redwood as the audience lets out a monster pop then goes back to chanting “BRENDAN!! BRENDAN!! BRENDAN!!” He feeds off their energy and runs to the rope.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Harding swings at him with a right hand, but Cross ducks and does a go behind, running him into the ropes and rolling back into a japanese leg roll!"
One!
Two!
Brendan Harding kicks out!
Psycho KGB: “Recoba shoots Brendan Harding into the ropes and floors him with a leg lariat!”
Cross Recoba goes out to the apron while the audience jeers him.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Cross Reocoba slingshots himself over the top rope into an elbow drop on Harding!"
One!
Two!
Brendan Harding kicks out!
Cross Recoba argues with JROK Official Kōichi Eikichi for a faster count, but Eikichi assures him it was the right speed. Recoba shakes his head and pulls Harding up into a double underhook.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Cross Recoba butterfly backbreakers Brendan Harding!”
Harding writhes around the mat in pain, rolling onto his stomach. Cross Recoba climbs to the top turnbuckle.
Psycho KGB: “Recoba measures him, and then drops a precision elbow drop to the spine of Brendan Harding!”
Harding holds his back and kicks his toes into the mat in pain. Cross grabs him by the hair and pulls him up to his feet.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Cross Recoba scoops him up but Harding falls behind him in an inverted facelock.”
Psycho KGB: “Brendan Harding takes him up and over with a reverse suplex!”
The crowd comes to life as Recoba clutches his stomach that he landed on. Harding gets to one knee and tries to recover.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Harding with an elbow shot to the head, and a right hand backs Cross Recoba off.”
Psycho KGB: “Harding superkicks Cross upside the head!”
The Maui fans are jumping up and down as Harding pulls him up into another inverted facelock, and signals for the Zen Driver.
Psycho KGB: “Are we going to see it?”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “‘King Zen’ Brendan Harding lifts him up into a reverse suplex and then drops him into his tombstone!!”
Psycho KGB: “Zen Driver!!”
One!
Two!
THREE!!!
Psycho KGB: “JROK Visual Kai Champion Brendan Harding has won the first fall!”
Fumio Demura: “The winner of the first fall goes to -- Brendan Harding!”
The fans celebrate as Harding recovers in the corner, waiting for Kōichi Eikichi to continue the match.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “That was huge. Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Cross Recoba now in a big hole that he has to dig himself out of.”
Kōichi Eikichi asks Cross Recoba if he can continue, and he weakly nods. Eikichi signals that the match can continue.
Psycho KGB: “Brendan Harding sees Cross get up to his knees and kicks him in the chest.”
Phillip Blauer: “The man wasn’t ready!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “We can’t wait forever, Phil.”
Cross Recoba gets to his hands and knees and Harding runs into the ropes.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Harding with a basement dropkick to the face of Recoba!”
Brendan Harding gets on top of Recoba and starts pummeling him with punches as the audience chants “BRENDAN!! BRENDAN!! BRENDAN!!”
Psycho KGB: “Kōichi Eikichi finally has to pull Brendan off of a helpless Cross Recoba.”
Phillip Blauer: “And it’s lucky he intervened when he did, Cross was about to throttle that poor fellow.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Recoba staggers over and Brendan Harding with another european uppercut to the face.”
Cross fires back with a kick to Harding’s stomach. He twists Brendan’s arm.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “The Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion now slowing down the match with an armbar wristlock.”
Phillip Blauer: “See? Playing right into his hands.”
Cross Recoba whips the arm over and over, trying to tear his shoulder out of its socket.
Psycho KGB: “Cross Recoba steps to his side, ties up their legs and snaps back into a russian legsweep.”
Recoba steps through the ropes out on to the apron and waits for Brendan Harding to get to his feet.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Cross slingshots himself onto the middle of the top rope and dives off with a beautiful springboard crossbody!”
One!
Two!
Brendan Harding kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Now Cross giving Brendan a receipt for those earlier mounted punches, grounding and pounding the JROK Visual Kai Champion.”
Phillip Blauer: “So is he a champion of all the fish you can see?”
Psycho KGB: “Those are koi.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Kōichi Eikichi tries to intervene again, but Cross shoves him away and continues beating Harding with his fist.”
The Hawaiian fans boo and Cross Recoba finally relents when Eikichi steps in again.
Psycho KGB: “Cross Recoba pulls him up by the hair and slugs him. Brendan smashes him in the face with an open palm strike to the face.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Recoba fires back with a knife edge chop, but Harding hits him in the chest with another open palm strike.”
Cross rocks him with a elbow to the jaw, and Brendan responds by going low with an open palm strike to the stomach.
Psycho KGB: “Brendan Harding now goes upstairs with an increasingly rapid series of palm strikes to Cross’ chest, face, and stomach.”
Phillip Blauer: “Cross is on spaghetti legs! Wait. Is that offensive? I deeply apologize.”
Harding steps back and turns his back to them, yells "You are already dead!!!", and then twirls into a uraken spinning backfist that floors Cross, popping the crowd.
Phillip Blauer: “What is he talking about?? Are we all dead? Is this hell?”
Psycho KGB: “No, but it might be for Cross soon.”
Brendan Harding steps out onto the apron and then gets on the middle of the top rope.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Harding springboards off and catches Cross with a codebreaker!!”
Cross Recoba sprawls out, staring at the moon and stars. Brendan Harding pumps his fists, getting the Maui crowd to cheer louder. He goes to pick Recoba up by the hair, but from the mat, Cross kicks him in the stomach. Cross gets up and rakes Harding’s eyes with his fingernails. Kōichi Eikichi pulls Cross aside and warns him while Brendan tries to regain his sight by the ropes.
CLAAAAAAAAAANG!!!
Guillermo O’Bannon: “What was that??”
Hardkore Cameraman Jackie Valentine Jr. gets a close up of Hayley Grimes holding a stop sign. Brendan Harding staggers back and an opportunistic Cross Recoba pushes past Kōichi Eikichi and rolls him up with a european clutch.
One!
Two!
THREE!!!
Fumio Daemura: “Cross Recoba wins the second fall! We are now entering SUDDEN DEATH where the next fall will determine the winner!”
Psycho KGB: “Hayley Grimes from SKY Force about caved in Brendan Harding’s head with that stop sign! But why?”
Hayley Grimes covers her mouth in mock horror and then smiles and skips back to the locker room with her stop sign.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “I don’t know but Brendan Harding does not look good right now.”
JROK medical staff Ryōko Ōta and Hardkore Doctor David Valentine Jr. check on Brendan Harding who is bleeding profusely. Cross Recoba paces back and forth like a lion, trying to push past Kōichi Eikichi so he can start the third fall while Brendan Harding is still out.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “I don’t think this match can continue, Brendan is bleeding buckets right now.”
Phillip Blauer: “Yeah, I would just end it now, that way we could catch the end of Don Ho at the Grand Wailea.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Don Ho is dead, Phil.”
Phillip Blauer: “How long have we been at this show??”
Valentine Jr. and Ōta try to stem the bleeding but they’re just leaving blood stained gauze all over the canvas.
Crowd chanting, “BRENDAN! BRENDAN! BRENDAN!”
Psycho KGB: “Yeah, I’m all for proving who the best champion is here, but they have already wrestled for over twenty minutes, and Hayley Grimes has inexplicably marred this match. I think we need to just end it for the safety of Brendan Harding and maybe do a make up date in the future…"
The Hawaiian audience roars as Brendan pushes Ryōko Ōta and David Valentine Jr. aside and tries to get to his knees.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Brendan Harding trying to get up, but he’s just a bloody mess!”
Phillip Blauer: “If there’s hope for him, maybe there’s hope for Don Ho…”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Phil, no. OK?”
Guillermo sees if Psycho KGB heard that. Cross Recoba shoves Kōichi Eikichi out of his way so he can running european uppercut the kneeling Brendan Harding.
The fans let out a sympathetic “OH!”
Psycho KGB: “I guess Kōichi Eikichi has no choice but to let his match continue.”
Recoba pulls him up and hooks him around the neck and grabs his leg. He plants his feet and flips Bredan Harding with an exploder ‘98.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Lansky Ballroom Love Letter!”
The crowd loudly boos while Kōichi Eikichi asks Brendan Harding if he can see. Harding doesn’t answer, just struggles to get to his knees. Cross Recoba catches him with a short huracanrana that spikes Harding’s head into the canvas.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Chicago Overcoat!! He steps through his legs and turns him over int a scorpion anklelock known as the Lupara Bianca!!"
Psycho KGB: “I really question Kōichi Eikichi’s decision to let this match continue. He may be caught up in the moment here a little.”
Phillip Blauer: “That would never happen to me. I barely pay attention.”
Psycho KGB: “That’s...great.”
Phillip Blauer: “Hear that, Giancarlo? Your new friend thinks I’m great.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “I heard it, Phil.”
Cross Recoba grinds his knee into the back of Harding’s head, pressing his bloody face into the canvas leaving a sickening stain. Recoba braces Harding’s shin with one arm while pulling back on the top of his foot. Brendan cries out in pain, while reaching out for the ropes. Kōichi Eikichi asks him if he wants to give up, but he shakes his head, unable to answer. The audience starts clapping faster and faster, trying to root on their hero.
Psycho KGB: “This Hawaiian crowd really getting behind the JROK Visual Koi Champion, ‘King Zen’ Brendan Harding.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Cross Recoba continuing to twist Harding’s leg nearly touching the back of his head.”
Blood drips down the face of Brendan Harding as he presses up from the mat with all of his might, until he gets Recoba’s knee off the back of his head. Harding lurches forward and grabs the bottom rope! The fans leap to their feet.
Psycho KGB: “He did it! He got the rope!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Cross Recoba now forced to release the Lupara Bianca!”
Kōichi Eikichi starts counting and Recoba tosses Harding’s legs to the mat in frustration. He pulls a bloodsoaked Brendan Harding up and scoops him up on his shoulder.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “The Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion has Harding up for Up All Night In Dakota tombstone, but Harding is able to shift his weight so that Dakota staggers back into the ropes!”
Brendan Harding slips off of Cross Recoba’s shoulder onto his feet on the apron.
Psycho KGB: “Brendan Harding with a reverse rana from the apron over the ropes to the sand below!!”
The crowd comes unglued, jumping up and down as Brendan Harding and Cross Recoba lie on the beach. They start chanting “BRENDAN!! BRENDAN!! BRENDAN!!” Some sand gets stuck to Brendan’s face because of the blood.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “After that hellacious shot that Brendan Harding took from Hayley Grimes stop sign, this is the first sign of life from the blood drained Brendan Harding!"
Some fans start helping Brendan to his feet before Hardkore Security Larry Valentine Jr. in a grass skirt with seashells covering his breasts intervenes and stops the crowd from touching the wrestlers.
Phillip Blauer: “Get in there, Larry! This isn’t some lumberjack silliness.”
Psycho KGB: “The fans care very deeply about Brendan Harding and that’s a great display right there of their affection.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Why is he still in a grass skirt?”
Phillip Blauer: (incredulous) “That? That’s a tactical hulu skirt. He can move so much faster in that thing. It’s crazy.”
Psycho KGB: “He really can. Look at him go.”
Brendan Harding slowly pulls himself up to the apron, and then agonizingly pulls himself up to standing position on the apron. Cross Recoba finally gets to his feet and turns around.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Brendan Harding leaps off the apron with a tornado DDT!!”
Harding wipes some of the sand off of his face so he can see. He gets some more energy from the crowd reaction and climbs to the top turnbuckle. Brendan somersaults off nailing a barely standing Cross Recova with a senton.
Psycho KGB: “Pope Turtle Blessing!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Brendan Harding flattens Cross Recoba out in the audience!”
Fans all try to get on camera chanting “BRENDAN!! BRENDAN!! BRENDAN!!” as Hardkore Cameraman struggles to get a shot of an exhausted Recoba and a deeply lacerated Harding lying out on the beach. Hardkore Security Larry Valentine Jr. struggles in vain to keep Harding’s fans away from him. Several fans flip Cross off as he recovers on the sand. Harding finally gets to his feet and staggers back to the ring. He rolls back in and waits for Cross Recoba to walk back to the ring.
Psycho KGB: “Harding slingshots himself over into a plancha, but Recoba is waiting for him with a european uppercut that takes him out in mid air!!”
The Hawaiian fans react with a thunderous “OH!!” as Brendan Harding awkwardly twirls and crashes to the beach. It is replaced by boos as Cross Recoba sits against the Hardcore Heaven apron. He wipes his mouth and then rolls back in to the ring. Recoba darts into the ropes and does an amazing feet first leap over the top rope catching Harding right on the button with a missile dropkick on the floor.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “The Million Lira Dropkick!’
Phillip Blauer: “Breathtaking move from The Flying Fox.”
Psycho KGB: “Brendan Harding has not moved since The Million Lira Dropkick!”
Harding lies out, staring at the Hawaiian sky and hearing the boos from the fans. Cross Recoba rolls Harding onto the apron, He pulls him up by his bloodsoaked hair and pulls him up into a front facelock. He sits out into a DDT on the apron.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Staten Island Drop!!”
Psycho KGB: “Right there on the hardest part of the ring!”
Phillip Blauer: “I’ve always thought the hardest part of the ring is the lonely nights; spent wondering…”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Not now, Phil!"
Cross Recoba rolls Harding back into the ring and climbs to the top turnbuckle.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Cross Recoba comes crashing down with another flying elbow, this time to his chest!!
One!
Two!
Thre....
Brenan Harding gets his foot on the bottom rope!
Psycho KGB: “Recoba pulls Harding back up and lifts him up in a suplex, but Brendan floats over and lands on his feet behind him!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Brendan Harding cracks him from behind in the temple with a behind to front hook kick!”
Psycho KGB: “Magic Bullet!”
The crowd erupts with cheers as both men lie on the mat exhausted. Blood continues to pour like a faucet out of the deep laceration over Harding’s eyebrow. The fans chant “BRENDAN!! BRENDAN!! BRENDAN!!” Harding feeds off of their love and goes over to the corner, waiting for Recoba to get to his feet. When he does, Harding runs at him, leaping in the air to the side, clocking him with both his head and shoulder in a torpedo Moscow.
Psycho KGB: “Thanix Cannon!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Brendan Harding on fire now!”
Phillip Blauer: “As on fire as one can be when you look like you’ve been hand dipped in blood.”
Brendan pulls Cross up by the arm, and in one jerk motion, yanks him up by the arm onto Harding’s shoulder into a Devlinside back suplex.
Psycho KGB: “SHOOPlex!”
One!
Two!
Cross Recoba kicks out!
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Brendan Harding pulls him up into his legs, then flips Cross up onto his shoulder, running in to the center of the ring with a ligerbomb!!!”
Psycho KGB: “Tech Armour Detonation!!!”
One!
Two!
Cross Recoba claps his legs together on Harding’s head!
DING! Ding! Ding!
The fans jump and down in celebration as Harding collapses in a heap from exhaustion and blood loss. JROK medical staff Ryōko Ōta and Hardkore Doctor David Valentine Jr. rush to his side to try and tend to his wounds and stop the bleeding.
Phillip Blauer: “This can’t be happening! This is Hawaii, Hawaiian stuff doesn’t count right??”
Psycho KGB: “I’m afraid so! I’m afraid that despite 38 minutes of wrestling, Cross’ underhanded tactics, and what could have been a career ending shot from that stop sign from Hayley Grimes, the JROK Visual Kai Champion Brendan Harding, this night, was better than the Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Cross Recoba!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “It was an excellent match, and I have found a new respect for Brendan Harding. It could have been stopped a long time ago, but he wouldn’t let that happen, and now he stands tall."
Fumio Demura: “Ladies and Gentleman, the Hawaiian State Athletic Commissioner Dr. Harry Takahashi has ruled that due to blood loss, Brendan Harding can no longer continue. Therefore, the winner of the Hardcore Heaven main event is --- HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… CROSS RECOBA!!!”
The beach rocks with boos as Cross stands with his Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship held high, a smirk on his face as he looks down as Brendan Harding being worked on by medical staff. “Hello My Name Is Human” by Highly Suspect plays but is drowned out by the waves, jeers, and Hawaiian anger.
Psycho KGB: “What?? What gives that bureaucrat the right to end a match, just as it was looking to turn Brendan Harding’s way?? He would have won this match had they just let it continue!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “I agree, Harding was beginning to gain back momentum, but due to his blood loss, you have to agree he was a danger to himself by continuing. Cross Recoba is not someone you can trust to not cause permanent damage. Dr. Harry Takahashi was doing his job to protect the wrestlers from themselves.”
Psycho KGB: “This is a travesty of justice, and a rematch should be scheduled immediately. Something where Hayley Grimes is not able to interfere.”
Phillip Blauer: “I gotta agree with Gazpacho here, Psychic KFC. Cross was merely toying with him and Dr. Harry recognized that.”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “That’s not what I’m saying at all, Phil.”
Cross Recoba stands on the second rope, telling everyone in the crowd he told them so, and pointing to his Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship around his waist.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “But this was an amazing night for both companies here in beautiful Hawaii. Psycho KGB, I thank you for such a brilliant guest to our booth tonight, and I hope we can make this a yearly event.”
Psycho KGB: “I agree Guillermo, this has been a spectacular event and I would love to do another one!”
Phillip Blauer: “I don’t know, I’m starting to think I got too much sun.”
Psycho KGB: “Ah, you’re fine!”
Psycho KGB slaps Phil on the back and the rest of the show is Phil screaming while we go out on Hardkore Security Larry Valentine Jr. in a grass skirt with seashells covering his bosoms trying to cut a path through the booing fans back to the locker room as Cross Recoba holds up the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship over his head suddenly “More Human Than Human” by White Zombie plays.
Phillip Blauer: “God, are they screwing up the music back there? Hello My Name Is Human is my jam! They’re playing the wrong Human song!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “I mean, probably…?”
“The Punisher” Dan Stein walks out and the crowd leaps to their feet.
Guillermo O’Bannon: “It’s ‘The Punisher’ Dan Stein! The Danimal! The undefeated Stein is back from his back surgery and looking at the Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion!”
Cross Recoba freezes in his tracks and backpedals, putting Hardkore Security Larry Valentine Jr. in front of him and Stein.
Phillip Blauer: “Maybe not? Maybe Dan’s just here with his family for a little R and R? And is just here to say what’s up? With theme music?”
Dan Stein points at Cross Recoba with his Peacemaker and Cross turns as white as a sheet. He gulps and shakes his head, refusing to believe Stein is back and wants his belt.
Phillip Blauer: “Aw nuts.”
Guillermo O’Bannon:“It looks like Dan Stein would like to challenge for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship, maybe at our next show in Palm Springs!”
Psycho KGB: “And I’m sure Brendan Harding is going to want a piece of Hayley Grimes at our next show as well!”
Guillermo O’Bannon: “See you there!”
“More Human Than Human” plays as Cross tries to back away from Dan but not get too close to a rising Brendan Harding in the ring.
