Superkick Marty!
Sept 17, 2023 19:50:23 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Venom đź•·, and 3 more like this
Post by Visit Neom on Sept 17, 2023 19:50:23 GMT -5
A few days after Tinto N’ Marty’s Mouse Party. We open in the lobby of the Grand Wilderness Resort. Deacon Oldham stands by a suitcase and hugs his crying daughter, Olivia. Marty Donovan is also there with his right arm in a sling, but the Disney spokesperson seems far less emotional about the situation. Given that Deacon had once again tried to murder Marty over false eloping accusations, this isn’t surprising.
OLLIE:
Goodbye, Pop. It was so wonderful getting to spend time with you. Let me know the moment you’re back home, safe in Montana. I love you so much and will be counting down the minutes until Thanksgiving. I’m sure Marty has something he’d like to say as well.
Marty, in fact, does not have something he’d like to say. Preoccupied with scrolling through the cruise itinerary on his phone, it takes a moment before Marty realizes everyone is waiting.
Goodbye, Pop. It was so wonderful getting to spend time with you. Let me know the moment you’re back home, safe in Montana. I love you so much and will be counting down the minutes until Thanksgiving. I’m sure Marty has something he’d like to say as well.
Marty, in fact, does not have something he’d like to say. Preoccupied with scrolling through the cruise itinerary on his phone, it takes a moment before Marty realizes everyone is waiting.
MARTY:
Bye.
Deacon gives a cold nod.
Bye.
Deacon gives a cold nod.
DEACON:
Sayonara, scumbag.
Both men turn to walk away, but a flabbergasted Ollie yanks them back by their shirt collars.
Sayonara, scumbag.
Both men turn to walk away, but a flabbergasted Ollie yanks them back by their shirt collars.
OLLIE:
No, we’re going to shake hands and say something nice about each other.
Deacon holds out his left hand, forcing Marty to shake with the one in the sling. Ollie goes to correct him, but Donovan takes it. He tries to hide the pain as they glare at each other.
No, we’re going to shake hands and say something nice about each other.
Deacon holds out his left hand, forcing Marty to shake with the one in the sling. Ollie goes to correct him, but Donovan takes it. He tries to hide the pain as they glare at each other.
MARTY:
It was impressive how many Polynesian Village security guards it took to stop you. I was nearly killed in the same room where The Beatles died.
It was impressive how many Polynesian Village security guards it took to stop you. I was nearly killed in the same room where The Beatles died.
DEACON:
I found it amusing when that Serbian had you desperately yanking on that cage door and crying like a coward. You’d be a fine rodeo clown.
Ollie buries her face in her hands.
I found it amusing when that Serbian had you desperately yanking on that cage door and crying like a coward. You’d be a fine rodeo clown.
Ollie buries her face in her hands.
MARTY:
I run a charity now, Deacon. It’s illegal to criticize me.
Deacon scoffs.
I run a charity now, Deacon. It’s illegal to criticize me.
Deacon scoffs.
DEACON:
Oh, the wonderful Marty Donovan Foundation. As if a cent of that will go to the intended veterans.
Oh, the wonderful Marty Donovan Foundation. As if a cent of that will go to the intended veterans.
MARTY:
I never would pocket money…
Dana Daniels, wearing a bright yellow sweater that reads “BEE KIND”, runs into frame.
I never would pocket money…
Dana Daniels, wearing a bright yellow sweater that reads “BEE KIND”, runs into frame.
DANA:
Marty! Your phone has a weird glitch where it blocked my number and I still need to be paid for the show.
Marty! Your phone has a weird glitch where it blocked my number and I still need to be paid for the show.
MARTY:
….from our bravest Americans.
….from our bravest Americans.
OLLIE:
Martin! You didn’t pay him?
Martin! You didn’t pay him?
MARTY:
Why should I? Dana didn’t wrestle. Zoran knocked him out before our match. It would be like tipping the delivery guy after a mugger stole your pizza.
Why should I? Dana didn’t wrestle. Zoran knocked him out before our match. It would be like tipping the delivery guy after a mugger stole your pizza.
DANA:
Please! I need that money to make it to Las Vegas for the million dollar mayhem match.
MARTY:
Dana, just hang up the boots already. If I couldn't coach you to a victory then nobody can.
Deacon’s eyes light up at that statement. Embarrassed, Ollie covers Marty's mouth.
Dana, just hang up the boots already. If I couldn't coach you to a victory then nobody can.
Deacon’s eyes light up at that statement. Embarrassed, Ollie covers Marty's mouth.
OLLIE:
Sorry, the pain medication has Marty confused. We’re going to the ATM right now.
Ollie scolds Marty as they walk out of frame.
Sorry, the pain medication has Marty confused. We’re going to the ATM right now.
Ollie scolds Marty as they walk out of frame.
DEACON:
Take off that stupid sweater. No student of mine encourages kindness.
Take off that stupid sweater. No student of mine encourages kindness.
DANA:
You’re going to help me train? Why?
Deacon watches his daughter walk away with Marty, who is wearing the Navy SEAL watch he had gifted him. Breaking numerous Disney World laws, Oldham lights a cigar.
DEACON:
Revenge.
The scene changes to the Outback Steakhouse at the Orlando airport. Both men are several beers deep.
Revenge.
The scene changes to the Outback Steakhouse at the Orlando airport. Both men are several beers deep.
DEACON:
Marty Donovan is an egg sucking dog. I just know he intentionally lost our tag title match against Cut Throat Chaos. After I had given him my SEAL watch no less! What a stab in the back.
Marty Donovan is an egg sucking dog. I just know he intentionally lost our tag title match against Cut Throat Chaos. After I had given him my SEAL watch no less! What a stab in the back.
DANA:
Why would he do that?
DEACON:
Because he’s one of those terrible boyfriends who listens to his partner's dumb concerns. Olivia thinks I am too old for wrestling. I’m only 60 for crying out loud. A real man would have told my daughter to quit nagging and gone on a legendary tag title run with me.
Because he’s one of those terrible boyfriends who listens to his partner's dumb concerns. Olivia thinks I am too old for wrestling. I’m only 60 for crying out loud. A real man would have told my daughter to quit nagging and gone on a legendary tag title run with me.
DANA:
Yeah, sometimes you have to tune them out. Jodie was constantly nagging about me becoming a beekeeper. This is too expensive! They make so much noise! I’m allergic!
DEACON:
Jodie is your wife?
Jodie is your wife?
DANA:
Former. She divorced me.
DEACON:
Olivia gets the nagging from her mother. She loved complaining about being alone with a small child while I was off on hunting trips.
Olivia gets the nagging from her mother. She loved complaining about being alone with a small child while I was off on hunting trips.
DANA:
How long have you two been married?
DEACON:
Actually, I am also divorced.
The men sit at the bar in silence.
Actually, I am also divorced.
The men sit at the bar in silence.
DEACON:
So like I was saying, Marty Donovan is a terrible boyfriend.
So like I was saying, Marty Donovan is a terrible boyfriend.
DANA:
Yeah!
Dana chugs the rest of his beer.
DANA:
He’s a terrible mentor too! All Marty ever did was have me lose fake matches to him or serve as cannon fodder against Cross Recoba. He never showed the slightest interest in my training until I jumped ship to DTF.
DEACON:
Well you’re in good hands now. Boy, I can’t wait to see the look on Donovan’s face when they hand us that check for a million dollars. That will teach him to take team Dis N’ Griz for granted.
Well you’re in good hands now. Boy, I can’t wait to see the look on Donovan’s face when they hand us that check for a million dollars. That will teach him to take team Dis N’ Griz for granted.
DANA:
Speaking of teams, what should we call ourselves? The bumble buddies?
Deacon ponders this for a moment.
DEACON:
No, this name needs to be simple and sleek. We need a moniker that tells the world exactly what we are, two virile warriors that still have their whole lives ahead of them.
Deacon suddenly leaps out of his bar stool.
No, this name needs to be simple and sleek. We need a moniker that tells the world exactly what we are, two virile warriors that still have their whole lives ahead of them.
Deacon suddenly leaps out of his bar stool.
DEACON:
That's it! You take care of the bill, I’m off to that custom t-shirt kiosk!
That's it! You take care of the bill, I’m off to that custom t-shirt kiosk!
