At Campaign Headquarters (BoB)
Sept 29, 2023 19:44:49 GMT -5
flo and "The High Roller" Wesley Crane like this
Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Sept 29, 2023 19:44:49 GMT -5
*Hastily a hand-held cam turns on as it is jostled around within the Bad to the Bone (Racing) compound. Lord Dominicus looks at the camera and-*
LD: BIG BONE! What is with the camera?
BB: I’m trying to capture some behind-the-scenes imágenes for your eventual ascensión to the top of Wrestle: UK.
LD: Oh…I see.
*A quick DominiThink.*
LD: Carry on. Well then, uh, I guess, uh. Hello and welcome to campai-
*Dominicus isn’t really clear on how behind-the-scenes work, but luckily Paramount+’s the Star Trekker is there to interrupt him.*
Trekker: I finished the prototype sign for the rally!
LD: You finished the what for the what?
Trekker: Well you see, in the spirit of Star Trek’s long history of social liberalism I thought that we would approach this whole thing with a grassroots mindset. Get some shoes on the ground, have some rallies or maybe protests. Let the media spread our word as the people groundswell against the “old guard” of WUK!
*Before the DARK LORD OF WRESTLING…IN THE UNITED KINGDOM can answer she flips up a sign that says “WESLEY CRANE SMELLS LIKE POOP”. There’s a pause while Lord Dominicus looks over the finally crafted protest sign.*
LD: Well…
Trekker: Oh oh, and I’ve been working on some chants- er, slogans. “CRANE IS A STINKER, DOMINICUS IS A THINKER! CRANE IS A STINKER, DOMINICUS IS A THINKER!”
LD: Look-
Trekker: CRANE IS A STINKER, DOMINICUS IS A THINKER!
*She can’t hear him. Dinosaur Bones leans into the frame.*
DB: CRANE IS A STINKER, DOMINICUS IS A THINKER!
*None of them can hear as Lord Dominicus again tries to protest this protest. As the others chant soon a third voice is joined from behind the camera.*
BB: ¡CRANE ES UN CANALLA, DOMINICUS ES UN PENSADOR!
*The group continues to chant for their leader as Trekker waves her sign accusing Dominicus’ opponent for the Battle of Britain of smelling bad. He continues to try to stop this until finally.*
LD: SHUT UUUUUP!
*The impromptu rally stops. Dominicus gently places his hands on the Star Trekker’s shoulders.*
LD: Look, interloper, I think your heart is in the right place but there’s a few things wrong with this. First of all, your sign and...basic premise makes us liable for slander. Wesley Crane doesn’t smell like poop, he smells more like almonds and butternuts.
*The living embodiment of Paramount+’s VERY GENEROUS television offerings slowly lowers her sign.*
Trekker: Wait, how do you know what he smells like?
LD: Second, why would we need to do grassroots anything? This is a wrestling match. I just need to go out there and show Wesley Crane that my will force is stronger and- pending the referee doesn’t make some sort of mistake like he did vs Zoran- crush this upstart and continue my walk to the top of the company.
Trekker: I see...but...but I even did an alternate sign...
*She flips her current sign over and reveals the alternate: “PERMS ARE FOR GIRLS!” Dominicus looks it over.*
LD: I appreciate the effort, and it would go over well with WUK’s base audience and diehard fans. But that’s not us. We’re not part of the CWA shadow that helped build this company. We’re not the cowards that were pushed to the top and then ran away. And we’re not the myriad of American good ole boys who seem to be filling this company that airs primarily in Britain.
*He steps away from her, ready to monologue.*
LD: No, my faithful henchpeople. You see in the past, this companies sins reached to the heavens, and at that time I would have come seeking vengeance. But no more. Wrestle: United Kingdom has moved past its heritage of conservative politics, actually stinky main eventers, and being a haven for all those people who used to work for SWAT to ply their trade- and now Hardkore World carries that legacy.
*The VANTABLACK SAVIOR OF WUK stands, almost nobly as he speaks.*
LD: This is a new era for W:UK. An era in which we wash away all of those remnants of the past and stand up for ourselves. The first part of that is for us to come out of the shadows and show the world that we are indeed something new, something different.
*Slowly, Dominicus pushes down The Star Trekker’s sign.*
LD: You see, when the Bastards mercifully left this company there was a power vacuum. Mr. Blood had done a poor job in the initial build of things here and it had left losers with too much power. But it was a gap that was quickly filled- by people who are currently also working in HardKore World. Guys like Wesley Crane and Kalmin Watts. At first maybe it felt like salvation- but it was colonization. If the best that we can muster here is HKW’s title scene minus Cross- what’s that make us? And if Kalmin Watts can be in TWO world title matches at Night of Champions, what does that mean of the wrestling world? Certainly nothing good, my underlings.
*Oddly, Lord Dominicus’ tone sounds almost caring.*
LD: So at the Battle of Britain we take a stand. Like the United States that so many of our wrestlers hail from, it is time for Wrestle: United Kingdom to throw off the shackles of our colonizers and become the Network power that we were born to be- with me as our Vantablack sun, covering all the land in my darkness. Then, through my tyranny, we will know real freedom and be seen as a major power here in the Network.
Trekker: Wait, you don’t have anything personal against Wesley Crane?
LD: Not really. Honestly I don’t care enough about him or what he personally stands for to take the time to hate him- at least not yet. But I am opposed to what he represents. We’ve already moved past the old era of W:UK, but his period now in this middle is almost worst. It’s not an offense to the eyes like the foundation of the company, but it is a constant reminder that we’re currently linked in people’s eyes to Hardkore world. There’s the other XHF Network companies, and then there’s us, the Watts/Crane conspiracy. It’s time for us to stand against this and show that here in the United Kingdom we can form our own EMPIRE OF DARKNESS to rival any other on the Network.
*He points to himself with his thumb as he looks at the camera.*
LD: And I, the SHINING BLACK STAR of Wrestle: UK will be the one to lead us out of HKW’s shadow and help us stand on our own feet as we DEMAND that the XHF Network see us as the power we are. May our darkness spread across this Network under my leadership. And that starts at the Battle of Britain as I got to war against Wesley Crane for the very soul of this company!
Trekker: So uh, no signs?
LD: Did you not listen to any of what I just said?
Trekker: Sorry, I was just thinking that there’s probably a new episode of Lower Decks streaming on Paramount+ right now.
*Lord Dominicus groans and waves her off as he walks away. Dinosaur Bones and The Star Trekker stand awkwardly in front of the camera.*
DB: DIDN’T I EAT YOU AT LEAST ONCE? HOW ARE YOU STILL WALKING AROUND OUT HERE?
Trekker: Counterpoint: How does anything stay in your so-called stomach, since you’re just a pile of walking bones?
DB: OURS NOT TO MAKE REPLY, OURS NOT TO REASON WHY, OURS TO EAT A PIE.
*From off camera the leader of this group’s voice yells.*
“COME! THERE IS EVIL TO PLOT!”
*Fade out.*
LD: BIG BONE! What is with the camera?
BB: I’m trying to capture some behind-the-scenes imágenes for your eventual ascensión to the top of Wrestle: UK.
LD: Oh…I see.
*A quick DominiThink.*
LD: Carry on. Well then, uh, I guess, uh. Hello and welcome to campai-
*Dominicus isn’t really clear on how behind-the-scenes work, but luckily Paramount+’s the Star Trekker is there to interrupt him.*
Trekker: I finished the prototype sign for the rally!
LD: You finished the what for the what?
Trekker: Well you see, in the spirit of Star Trek’s long history of social liberalism I thought that we would approach this whole thing with a grassroots mindset. Get some shoes on the ground, have some rallies or maybe protests. Let the media spread our word as the people groundswell against the “old guard” of WUK!
*Before the DARK LORD OF WRESTLING…IN THE UNITED KINGDOM can answer she flips up a sign that says “WESLEY CRANE SMELLS LIKE POOP”. There’s a pause while Lord Dominicus looks over the finally crafted protest sign.*
LD: Well…
Trekker: Oh oh, and I’ve been working on some chants- er, slogans. “CRANE IS A STINKER, DOMINICUS IS A THINKER! CRANE IS A STINKER, DOMINICUS IS A THINKER!”
LD: Look-
Trekker: CRANE IS A STINKER, DOMINICUS IS A THINKER!
*She can’t hear him. Dinosaur Bones leans into the frame.*
DB: CRANE IS A STINKER, DOMINICUS IS A THINKER!
*None of them can hear as Lord Dominicus again tries to protest this protest. As the others chant soon a third voice is joined from behind the camera.*
BB: ¡CRANE ES UN CANALLA, DOMINICUS ES UN PENSADOR!
*The group continues to chant for their leader as Trekker waves her sign accusing Dominicus’ opponent for the Battle of Britain of smelling bad. He continues to try to stop this until finally.*
LD: SHUT UUUUUP!
*The impromptu rally stops. Dominicus gently places his hands on the Star Trekker’s shoulders.*
LD: Look, interloper, I think your heart is in the right place but there’s a few things wrong with this. First of all, your sign and...basic premise makes us liable for slander. Wesley Crane doesn’t smell like poop, he smells more like almonds and butternuts.
*The living embodiment of Paramount+’s VERY GENEROUS television offerings slowly lowers her sign.*
Trekker: Wait, how do you know what he smells like?
LD: Second, why would we need to do grassroots anything? This is a wrestling match. I just need to go out there and show Wesley Crane that my will force is stronger and- pending the referee doesn’t make some sort of mistake like he did vs Zoran- crush this upstart and continue my walk to the top of the company.
Trekker: I see...but...but I even did an alternate sign...
*She flips her current sign over and reveals the alternate: “PERMS ARE FOR GIRLS!” Dominicus looks it over.*
LD: I appreciate the effort, and it would go over well with WUK’s base audience and diehard fans. But that’s not us. We’re not part of the CWA shadow that helped build this company. We’re not the cowards that were pushed to the top and then ran away. And we’re not the myriad of American good ole boys who seem to be filling this company that airs primarily in Britain.
*He steps away from her, ready to monologue.*
LD: No, my faithful henchpeople. You see in the past, this companies sins reached to the heavens, and at that time I would have come seeking vengeance. But no more. Wrestle: United Kingdom has moved past its heritage of conservative politics, actually stinky main eventers, and being a haven for all those people who used to work for SWAT to ply their trade- and now Hardkore World carries that legacy.
*The VANTABLACK SAVIOR OF WUK stands, almost nobly as he speaks.*
LD: This is a new era for W:UK. An era in which we wash away all of those remnants of the past and stand up for ourselves. The first part of that is for us to come out of the shadows and show the world that we are indeed something new, something different.
*Slowly, Dominicus pushes down The Star Trekker’s sign.*
LD: You see, when the Bastards mercifully left this company there was a power vacuum. Mr. Blood had done a poor job in the initial build of things here and it had left losers with too much power. But it was a gap that was quickly filled- by people who are currently also working in HardKore World. Guys like Wesley Crane and Kalmin Watts. At first maybe it felt like salvation- but it was colonization. If the best that we can muster here is HKW’s title scene minus Cross- what’s that make us? And if Kalmin Watts can be in TWO world title matches at Night of Champions, what does that mean of the wrestling world? Certainly nothing good, my underlings.
*Oddly, Lord Dominicus’ tone sounds almost caring.*
LD: So at the Battle of Britain we take a stand. Like the United States that so many of our wrestlers hail from, it is time for Wrestle: United Kingdom to throw off the shackles of our colonizers and become the Network power that we were born to be- with me as our Vantablack sun, covering all the land in my darkness. Then, through my tyranny, we will know real freedom and be seen as a major power here in the Network.
Trekker: Wait, you don’t have anything personal against Wesley Crane?
LD: Not really. Honestly I don’t care enough about him or what he personally stands for to take the time to hate him- at least not yet. But I am opposed to what he represents. We’ve already moved past the old era of W:UK, but his period now in this middle is almost worst. It’s not an offense to the eyes like the foundation of the company, but it is a constant reminder that we’re currently linked in people’s eyes to Hardkore world. There’s the other XHF Network companies, and then there’s us, the Watts/Crane conspiracy. It’s time for us to stand against this and show that here in the United Kingdom we can form our own EMPIRE OF DARKNESS to rival any other on the Network.
*He points to himself with his thumb as he looks at the camera.*
LD: And I, the SHINING BLACK STAR of Wrestle: UK will be the one to lead us out of HKW’s shadow and help us stand on our own feet as we DEMAND that the XHF Network see us as the power we are. May our darkness spread across this Network under my leadership. And that starts at the Battle of Britain as I got to war against Wesley Crane for the very soul of this company!
Trekker: So uh, no signs?
LD: Did you not listen to any of what I just said?
Trekker: Sorry, I was just thinking that there’s probably a new episode of Lower Decks streaming on Paramount+ right now.
*Lord Dominicus groans and waves her off as he walks away. Dinosaur Bones and The Star Trekker stand awkwardly in front of the camera.*
DB: DIDN’T I EAT YOU AT LEAST ONCE? HOW ARE YOU STILL WALKING AROUND OUT HERE?
Trekker: Counterpoint: How does anything stay in your so-called stomach, since you’re just a pile of walking bones?
DB: OURS NOT TO MAKE REPLY, OURS NOT TO REASON WHY, OURS TO EAT A PIE.
*From off camera the leader of this group’s voice yells.*
“COME! THERE IS EVIL TO PLOT!”
*Fade out.*
