Countless Factor Meal Commercials
Oct 6, 2023 1:29:32 GMT -5
Dave D-Flipz, Venom đź•·, and 3 more like this
Post by Visit Neom on Oct 6, 2023 1:29:32 GMT -5
QUEENS, NYC
Wade: Citi Field please.
(The driver takes off. He presses a button on a box in the front seat with him. Music begins to play in the taxi.)
Dana: Congrats! You didn’t just get in any taxi. You’re on Cash Cab!
Wade: Oh, wow!
Dana: In honor of End of Days, we’re doing all wrestling related questions.
Wade: Well, you might regret picking me up. I’m a pro wrestling journalist.
Dana: Darn, I had no idea! Let's get started. What does DTF stand for?
Wade: Diamond Training Facility!
Dana: Great job! You’ve won 10 dollars. Next question, where is DTF located?
Wade: In Las Vegas!
Dana: Correct again! You’ve now won 30 dollars total! Okay, here’s a tough one. What does Jack Diamond fear?
Wade: Fear?
Dana: Yes, what is Jack Diamond’s greatest fear? What object or animal or words could an opponent use to reduce him to a sniveling child?
Wade: I don’t think he has one. Jack is a pretty brave wrestler.
Dana: Oh, I’m afraid you’re wrong.
(Dana presses a button on the metal box. A tube opens up in the back of the cab and lets out a single bee.)
Wade: What was the answer….
Wade: Stop the cab! There is a bee back here.
Dana: I can’t stop now! There is money to win. I will let you try again. What is Jack Diamond's greatest fear?
Wade: No! Pull over! This bee seems angry.
Dana: He’s probably mad that the man behind the Torch can’t answer a simple question.
Wade: Wait a second. I thought you didn’t know who I was.
Dana: And I thought you would have learned your lesson by now.
(Dana presses the button again and a second bee enters the back of the cab.)
Wade: Dana! Have you lost your mind?
Dana: Who’s Dana? I’m just a simple game show cabbie. Tell me his weakness, Keller. I know Wacko Jacko always stooges off to your dirt sheet. You ran that sickening puff piece when his school opened.
(Wade desperately yanks on the back seat doors, but they remain locked.)
Wade: Let me out! Let me out right now!
(Dana presses the button repeatedly. Several more insects start flying around the back of the cab.)
Dana: Careful, Mr. Keller. Trying to leave the cab is a three bee offense.
Wade: Stop this! Dana, you need help!
Dana: And you’re going to help by telling me about secret injuries Jack is hiding.
Wade: You won’t get away with this!
Dana: Why shouldn’t I? You’ve all let Jack get away with it for too long! Stealing wives! Putting rivals in tournaments to intentionally get injured! Practically forcing me to purchase two new hummers at gunpoint.
(Newsie Tinto runs into the street holding up a newspaper.)
Tinto: Extra! Extra! Read all about it! End of Days second round somehow reaches lower lows! Joe Nobody calls for unity! DT endorsed to win it all by Matt Gaetz!
(Dana has to swerve the cab out of the way to narrowly dodge Tinto. It crashes into a street light. The metal box flys out of the passenger seat and breaks on the floor. The back of the cab begins to fill with countless angry bees.)
Wade: DANA! STOP! PLEASE!
Dana: I didn’t mean to do that! Hang on!
(Dana gets out of the front seat. He tries desperately to break open the passenger window with a rock, but it is too strong. Wade Keller pounds on the window for help as he becomes obscured from view by more and more bees. Bystanders start yelling and pointing, so Dana flees. The shot fades out on Wade Keller’s limp hand sliding down, disappearing in a sea of insects.)
(We see prominent pro wrestling journalist Wade Keller walk out of a hotel. He hails a taxi and gets in the back of one driven by an eerily familiar man with long hair and a scraggly beard.)
Wade: Citi Field please.
(The driver takes off. He presses a button on a box in the front seat with him. Music begins to play in the taxi.)
Dana: Congrats! You didn’t just get in any taxi. You’re on Cash Cab!
Wade: Oh, wow!
Dana: In honor of End of Days, we’re doing all wrestling related questions.
Wade: Well, you might regret picking me up. I’m a pro wrestling journalist.
Dana: Darn, I had no idea! Let's get started. What does DTF stand for?
Wade: Diamond Training Facility!
Dana: Great job! You’ve won 10 dollars. Next question, where is DTF located?
Wade: In Las Vegas!
Dana: Correct again! You’ve now won 30 dollars total! Okay, here’s a tough one. What does Jack Diamond fear?
Wade: Fear?
Dana: Yes, what is Jack Diamond’s greatest fear? What object or animal or words could an opponent use to reduce him to a sniveling child?
Wade: I don’t think he has one. Jack is a pretty brave wrestler.
Dana: Oh, I’m afraid you’re wrong.
(Dana presses a button on the metal box. A tube opens up in the back of the cab and lets out a single bee.)
Wade: What was the answer….
(Wade flails from the angry insect.)
Wade: Stop the cab! There is a bee back here.
Dana: I can’t stop now! There is money to win. I will let you try again. What is Jack Diamond's greatest fear?
Wade: No! Pull over! This bee seems angry.
Dana: He’s probably mad that the man behind the Torch can’t answer a simple question.
Wade: Wait a second. I thought you didn’t know who I was.
Dana: And I thought you would have learned your lesson by now.
(Dana presses the button again and a second bee enters the back of the cab.)
Wade: Dana! Have you lost your mind?
Dana: Who’s Dana? I’m just a simple game show cabbie. Tell me his weakness, Keller. I know Wacko Jacko always stooges off to your dirt sheet. You ran that sickening puff piece when his school opened.
(Wade desperately yanks on the back seat doors, but they remain locked.)
Wade: Let me out! Let me out right now!
(Dana presses the button repeatedly. Several more insects start flying around the back of the cab.)
Dana: Careful, Mr. Keller. Trying to leave the cab is a three bee offense.
Wade: Stop this! Dana, you need help!
Dana: And you’re going to help by telling me about secret injuries Jack is hiding.
Wade: You won’t get away with this!
Dana: Why shouldn’t I? You’ve all let Jack get away with it for too long! Stealing wives! Putting rivals in tournaments to intentionally get injured! Practically forcing me to purchase two new hummers at gunpoint.
(Newsie Tinto runs into the street holding up a newspaper.)
Tinto: Extra! Extra! Read all about it! End of Days second round somehow reaches lower lows! Joe Nobody calls for unity! DT endorsed to win it all by Matt Gaetz!
(Dana has to swerve the cab out of the way to narrowly dodge Tinto. It crashes into a street light. The metal box flys out of the passenger seat and breaks on the floor. The back of the cab begins to fill with countless angry bees.)
Wade: DANA! STOP! PLEASE!
Dana: I didn’t mean to do that! Hang on!
(Dana gets out of the front seat. He tries desperately to break open the passenger window with a rock, but it is too strong. Wade Keller pounds on the window for help as he becomes obscured from view by more and more bees. Bystanders start yelling and pointing, so Dana flees. The shot fades out on Wade Keller’s limp hand sliding down, disappearing in a sea of insects.)