A Better Class of Champion (Battle for Britain RP)

[Spike Kane]

Why do I even care?

We open up on Spike strung across his skull throne, almost as if he’s talking out loud to himself.

That is something I’ve been asked recently, why do I even care about the Battle of Britain pay per view event? Why do I care about the Battle Royal? Shouldn’t I be focusing on Donzig? If I take my eye off the prize, aren’t I leaving him a chance to kick me down whilst my attention is focused elsewhere?

Well it’s real simple really.

He leans forward and brings his hand up to his brow as mimicking searching.

I’m looking beyond Donzig.

I’m looking for what happens next for Spike Kane.

And what am I looking at? Well besides the ever stereotypical bullshit spewing from every Yank who’s tried a quick google search and still getting everything wrong? Fucking narrow minded cunts can’t look beyond a few stars, stripes and MAH GUNS….Is Spike Kane earning himself a chance of becoming the Wrestle UK World Heavyweight Champion, because despite what anyone may think, and despite what my so-called opponents seem to think, I have earned everything that has ever come my way since I began wrestling back in October 1996. Every championship, every accolade, every Hall of Fame ring.

Now he stands up, stepping off the throne as behind him his trophy cabinets gleam in the light. All the way from one side of the room to the other.

I’ve earned them.

Now I know some of y’all wanna look past me, dismiss me as too old, over the hill, not good enough, and honestly? I’m not even pissed anymore, I want you to keep doing that. I want you to keep ignoring the threat that stands right before you, because when it comes time to show you exactly why people put respect on my name? Exactly how I earned those championships and accolades?

Well the look on your faces will be priceless.

He smirks as he stops to imagine the individual faces, the shock, surprise, and horror.

I don’t care who you are, because I am the biggest fish in this little pond. I am a bonafide legend across this entire industry, and not some small little indy fed that never hit the heights or last the length of my past haunts. I’ve had it time and time again, year after year, I’ve had people from the XHF itself try to downplay my legacy - and then they meet it face to face and crumble. I had it in FIRESIDE, I had it in NLW, I had it in IPW, I had it in the XHF successor - nCw, and even after that in IWF.

I had the supposed best wrestlers in the world from the best federation in the world show up and tell me I was nothing. Time and time again, and what happened?

I beat them.

With each beat he punches his hand into his palm, emphasising his point.

Time and time again.

So yes, in the short term, my focus is directed right at Donzig, but once I’ve put that motherfucker in the dirt?

Shit, you’re all on notice.

A casual point towards the camera, directed at the entire Wrestle UK roster.

There’s people in this match that I’m absolutely dying to square up with, people like Florida Man who can bring a whole level of insanity none of us will ever be prepared for, but I want it, I want to test myself and see how I respond, I want to show the world that I can adapt on the fly and prove to the huddle WUK “masses” that Spike Kane really is as good as he says he is.

He mimics an alligator snapping with his arms.

The Oblivion Death Squad who are our for blood, and who can blame them after I single handedly kicked their asses? Yeah sure, not as clear cut as that, but I fucking did and the whole world knows. Maybe they want revenge for me putting Sinclair through a table? Oh that sweet sweet rage. Give it to me, let me use it against you.

His grin goes wider and he motions for them to come closers by wiggling his fingers towards himself.

I’d go one, but let’s be crystal fucking clear here, out of everyone even announced for this thing? The only other person even mildly interesting is Kasper Van Zant. Oh her brother might be big and mean, but big and mean also usually means dumb as fuck, and that’s easy to work around - see my previous point about the ODS for a perfect example, but Kasper? Oh there’s something there for sure, a spark, that thing people always refer to as “IT” she has “IT” and I’m intrigued to see how far she can go.

Just not at my expense.

He wags his finger, ala Dennis Nedry in Jurassic Park, as he slowly moves back towards his throne, taking a few steps, then stopping to turn and face the camera once more.

See, I’m all about equal rights. I don’t give a fuck about your gender or your sexuality, I’ll break anyone and everyone because the moment you step between those ropes? I don’t see a person anymore, I just see a target that needs to be put down, and I’m ready to start staking my claim here in WUK, and proving that what has been going down prior, just isn’t good enough, just isn’t enough to put this promotion on the map and really bring the focus here on the XHF Network.

He makes a show of slowly sitting down on his throne.

I guess what I’m saying is Wrestle UK needs a better class of champion.

….and it starts with me.

He gestures to himself, with an arrogant grin, as he lifts one left and places it over the arm.

So if you know what’s good for you?

Get on your knees and bow down.

All. Bloody. Hail.