Post by Dave D-Flipz on Oct 10, 2023 22:48:44 GMT -5
“DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPORATED!!”
Billy: I told you so.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yes yes, I admit, the gambling training did little to help us. I can make mistakes on occasion…
Ovi: All the time…
*We join a conversation around the table in the lair of the Angry Mad Chemists, already in progress. The entire crew of five is sitting at the table. Doof puts his hand to his face in shame as he looks out at his 3 crew members and their eldritch ally.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: YES! We all get it, I’m not the most … consistent … genius around. But I have been masterminding a secret plan that has given us an extra two streams of income!
Ian: How … uh … how did you hehe … accomplish that? Alimony only works once. I uh … um … should know.
Ovi: And where has all this money gone then?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Well the money initially went into our gambling escapades. But I’ve ALSO been saving up.
*He gestures to the garage where they all look over the balcony to spy the Chemistruckinator … with some INSANELY hi-tech pontoons on it. They look like they are mean to make the car float on water … and be able to steer and propel itself! They all oo and aaah!*
Phroooaggh: I must say Doof, this is unusually thoughtful and prescient for the race at hand!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yes high tech pontoons … THIS CAR’S A BOAT! Guaranteed to work as long as the car isn’t stupid heavy. They assured me any car should be fine. As long as we don’t convert it into a trailer or an 18 wheeler.
Billy: I’ll be able to drive it right on the water. And my familiarity with my craft will allow me to win …ANOTHER GOLDEN CROTCH TO TEAM WITH THE OTHERS!
Ian: But uh … where did you get this money from?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: AH! That’s the GENIUS part! We’re on Memaw’s payroll and she doesn’t even know it! I formed a group … two groups … and sent an anonymous email to the ENTIRE CAR PLANNING COMMITTEE!
*He rolls out a white board with one of them rolling window shade things on it and tugs down the string to reveal a blueprint with two names on it. DEI and DEIA! The DEI explicitly states it is not Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: BEHOLD! Perfect departments to have in this hardnosed wrestling business! Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion! I’m playing on her southern tendencies to not want to appear racist, sexist, all the ists. And then there is the Disability Employee Inclusion Alliance! She has no clue that she isn’t helping inclusion or people with disabilities at all! BAHAHAHAHA!
Phroooaggh: Wow uh … this is like … LEGIT evil! I’m almost proud of you! No more being taken as seriously as Lord Dominicus! We’re REAL villains now!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: NOOOOO! You idiot, if we take this public and it goes out to them they will cut off our funds … we need to milk this until Christmas. I have gifts to buy and my daughter Vanessa likes expensive things. I draw the line at stealing things for my own family. They should get stuff I’ve purchased with my hard earned stolen greenbacks!
Billy: *sigh* This is going to end poorly.
Ovi: Still, the pontoons are pretty slick! Surely they are enough to keep one lousy science mobile afloat!
*That’s the sound of foreshadowing! The entire team ignores the ominous music cue and begin to laugh maniacally as we fade.*
1. Describe your boat:
It’s a cybertruck with two heavy, high-tech looking pontoons on the side. The ChemisBOATinator! … TM. Original Creation do not steal.
2. Dialog after your boat is launched?
Billy: Anchors Aweigh! And here we … GOOOOOOOoooooooo….
Ovi: …wow he just sank straight to the bottom didn’t he?
Ian: That’s … that’s chaos theory right there.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh hush, Spike and PRICE are nowhere near California right now.
3. Characters describe their favorite color:
Phroooaggh: Mmmm … pink.
Ovi: Pink? It’s just light red. Seriously, red is so much better.
Billy: I mean, it’s a proven fact, look how sexy I am in the RED labcoat over my original white one. And nobody could like yellow, either.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I’m back from the concession stand. Look they had nachos. All that glorious yellow cheese. Yellow rules!
Billy: *sigh*
Ian: I uh …was under the impression we were evil. Besides, haha, heh, black is the sexy color. *poses in that pose*
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yes YEEEES! The initiatives have worked! We somehow managed to fail successfully!
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Huh … it sank. Welp guess Billy is eating nothing but endive salad with no dressing for a week!
Billy: I told you so.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yes yes, I admit, the gambling training did little to help us. I can make mistakes on occasion…
Ovi: All the time…
*We join a conversation around the table in the lair of the Angry Mad Chemists, already in progress. The entire crew of five is sitting at the table. Doof puts his hand to his face in shame as he looks out at his 3 crew members and their eldritch ally.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: YES! We all get it, I’m not the most … consistent … genius around. But I have been masterminding a secret plan that has given us an extra two streams of income!
Ian: How … uh … how did you hehe … accomplish that? Alimony only works once. I uh … um … should know.
Ovi: And where has all this money gone then?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Well the money initially went into our gambling escapades. But I’ve ALSO been saving up.
*He gestures to the garage where they all look over the balcony to spy the Chemistruckinator … with some INSANELY hi-tech pontoons on it. They look like they are mean to make the car float on water … and be able to steer and propel itself! They all oo and aaah!*
Phroooaggh: I must say Doof, this is unusually thoughtful and prescient for the race at hand!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yes high tech pontoons … THIS CAR’S A BOAT! Guaranteed to work as long as the car isn’t stupid heavy. They assured me any car should be fine. As long as we don’t convert it into a trailer or an 18 wheeler.
Billy: I’ll be able to drive it right on the water. And my familiarity with my craft will allow me to win …ANOTHER GOLDEN CROTCH TO TEAM WITH THE OTHERS!
Ian: But uh … where did you get this money from?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: AH! That’s the GENIUS part! We’re on Memaw’s payroll and she doesn’t even know it! I formed a group … two groups … and sent an anonymous email to the ENTIRE CAR PLANNING COMMITTEE!
*He rolls out a white board with one of them rolling window shade things on it and tugs down the string to reveal a blueprint with two names on it. DEI and DEIA! The DEI explicitly states it is not Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: BEHOLD! Perfect departments to have in this hardnosed wrestling business! Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion! I’m playing on her southern tendencies to not want to appear racist, sexist, all the ists. And then there is the Disability Employee Inclusion Alliance! She has no clue that she isn’t helping inclusion or people with disabilities at all! BAHAHAHAHA!
Phroooaggh: Wow uh … this is like … LEGIT evil! I’m almost proud of you! No more being taken as seriously as Lord Dominicus! We’re REAL villains now!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: NOOOOO! You idiot, if we take this public and it goes out to them they will cut off our funds … we need to milk this until Christmas. I have gifts to buy and my daughter Vanessa likes expensive things. I draw the line at stealing things for my own family. They should get stuff I’ve purchased with my hard earned stolen greenbacks!
Billy: *sigh* This is going to end poorly.
Ovi: Still, the pontoons are pretty slick! Surely they are enough to keep one lousy science mobile afloat!
*That’s the sound of foreshadowing! The entire team ignores the ominous music cue and begin to laugh maniacally as we fade.*
1. Describe your boat:
It’s a cybertruck with two heavy, high-tech looking pontoons on the side. The ChemisBOATinator! … TM. Original Creation do not steal.
2. Dialog after your boat is launched?
Billy: Anchors Aweigh! And here we … GOOOOOOOoooooooo….
Ovi: …wow he just sank straight to the bottom didn’t he?
Ian: That’s … that’s chaos theory right there.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh hush, Spike and PRICE are nowhere near California right now.
3. Characters describe their favorite color:
Phroooaggh: Mmmm … pink.
Ovi: Pink? It’s just light red. Seriously, red is so much better.
Billy: I mean, it’s a proven fact, look how sexy I am in the RED labcoat over my original white one. And nobody could like yellow, either.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I’m back from the concession stand. Look they had nachos. All that glorious yellow cheese. Yellow rules!
Billy: *sigh*
Ian: I uh …was under the impression we were evil. Besides, haha, heh, black is the sexy color. *poses in that pose*
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yes YEEEES! The initiatives have worked! We somehow managed to fail successfully!
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Huh … it sank. Welp guess Billy is eating nothing but endive salad with no dressing for a week!