Post by Dave D-Flipz on Oct 27, 2023 0:34:13 GMT -5
Doctor: Ok well … I don’t see any permanent damage.
Death Trap: Doctor Acula! FIX MY FUCKING LEG!
Doctor: … Ok … my name is Jeffers.
Dr. Chaos: I still don’t know why I couldn’t just examine him.
Mistress Discipline: Excepting the obvious conflict of interest, Chaos, something tells me Death Trap would not appreciate his leg being examined by a veterinarian.
Dr. Chaos: But I get the GOOD meds! A little vitamin K!
Doctor: Actually B vitamins would probably be better but this isn’t really a matter for over the counter vitamins. This is a muscle and joint problem.
*We are in a local medical facility the day after End of Days Week 4. DT is set up on the doctor’s table with his left knee heavily bandaged and a small compression sleeve on his right.*
Death Trap: Well this has been a lovely conversation Dr. Jimmers.
Doctor: Jeffers.
Death Trap: Phil.
*The doctor looks heartbroken.*
Death Trap: But I need to be at 100% for my match this Sunday. And I need to be able to perform for my legions of fans. They expect the very best of me. I am a legend after all.
Doctor: That leg will not be 100% by Sunday. You tweaked it two weeks ago and slipping around on wet boards is not a good way to rehab an injury.
Dr. Chaos: I really don’t want to have to call the glue factory.
Mistress Discipline: My husband is not a HORSE, Chaos.
Dr. Chaos: Not what you said the other night …
*Chaos lets that linger. Sarah pops out from next to her and looks up at her mother.*
Sarah: … Ew …
*DT grabs the doctor by the arm and pulls him in close, putting his arm around the man’s shoulders.*
Death Trap: Look, Dr. Phil. I’m sorry I’m a bit agitated. But this is a momentous, historic achievement. And this coming week is a match I’ve been trying to get for two years now. I am not going to let this slight …
Sarah: Boo boo?
Dr. Chaos: Owie wowie?
Death Trap: Tweak … stop me from kicking Cross’s ass. Look, doc, I just need a way for this to be better. The fans are counting on you. You wouldn’t want to let the fans down. I am the main attraction in the main event once again. The ONLY two time End of Days winner. They are all coming out to see me. Nobody cares about ODS. Nobody knows who the End are. And Cross is hated the world over! The ticket sales went from 10% to sold out the minute I pinned Maverick. Jason Long. Whatever.
Doctor: *sigh* Look Mr. Carloni. It’s not structural damage, it’s not surgery. But your muscles and joints don’t heal like they did when you were 20.
Death Trap: …No this is pretty much the usual.
Doctor: Oh. Well then your healing ability is not the greatest.
Mistress Discipline: You are telling us. Just try getting him to clean the bathroom. Suddenly he is incapable of walking!
Dr. Chaos: MOVING ON! No bathroom talk! This is a doctor’s office. A place of healing and deserves respect. No bad talk.
Doctor: Didn’t you just make a hung like a hor-
Dr. Chaos: NO BAD TALK ONLY RESPECT!
*The doctor rolls his eyes and hands DT two crutches and then begins to put a stiff brace on the knee to keep it straight.*
Doctor: As you start to feel better you can go off the brace, then drop to one crutch, and then lose the crutch when you feel fine.
*DT lights up. He leaps off the table and immediately crumples to his right as his left leg cannot bend.*
Death Trap: Fine. I will use your stupid crutches.
*Tuesday, morning*
*Death Trap is seen walking on both crutches. The crew is in a hotel room overlooking the city of Sacramento. DT is restless as he keeps trying to put weight on the leg but can’t. Upside is the brace is gone.*
Death Trap: No no, not going back to 2005. Death Trap is no longer synonymous with getting hurt around title matches. I’ve managed to avoid injury since the Network debuted. Barring that one time Donzig almost killed me in SWAT. But that was off network so nobody cares. Like most of Jason Long’s “accomplishments”. Meaningless. Donzig is dead and buried.
Dr. Chaos: I don’t remember you burying him.
Death Trap: No, Spike did it for me! Saved me a trip to WUK to finish the job. Sad we just missed out on getting to show those Brits what real tag team wrestling looks like.
Mistress Discipline: You need to sit down and rest. We are too close to our goal. Our X*Crown is in sight! Nobody will question us anymore. You need to heal.
Death Trap: I know. I owe it to the fans! But I hate having to accept that doctor’s help. We don’t need any help. We’ve never needed any help. But I suppose this isn’t in ring help, just making sure the fans get what they paid for. I mean can you imagine anyone spending the money these event seats cost without me there? I mean if Fox was there, MAYBE they’d pay to see if he actually murders someone. Or to throw tomatoes at SubUnderwear. But … Cross just isn’t the headliner he thinks he is. I’m really doing him a favor by showing up. Instantly he can brag about a sold out show he headlined. Like anyone would pay to watch him make Jason Long an offer he couldn’t refuse. Then break his neck behind the ref’s back like the sleaze ball he is. Chris Card taught him everything he knew, and then Cross went out and learned a whole new way to suck.
*DT hobbles on his crutches to the fridge to get a Dr. Pepper.*
Mistress Discipline: Yes, well we are there now. And we need to make sure he is incapable of stealing our credit for our drawing power. After what Fox did to us, trying to murder us, causing your instability and depression, and then letting Cross win to avoid a showdown with us on fair grounds. Only winning our X*Crown will soothe these damages!
*DT cracks open the soda then hobbles to the couch and sits down, massaging his leg.*
Dr. Chaos: Maybe you should be hydrating with water? And taking anti-inflammatories.
Death Trap: The only pills you brought are Children’s Motrin …
Dr. Chaos: Well, you are a child at heart!
Death Trap: But not in the knees. Apparently my knees think I’m 40!
Mistress Discipline: You are 44 in November…
*DT wrinkles his nose and scoffs at this remark.*
Death Trap: Age is but a number! I have been having a better run in my late 30s and early 40s than I ever did in my 20s! Besides, with all the time I missed before my 40th birthday I’m essentially 30. And I have the best driving force in the world.
Mistress Discipline: My love?
Dr. Chaos: Rampant Narcissism?
Sarah: HATS!
*DT puts his face in his hands. He rubs his forehead and hair before looking up at them.*
Death Trap: NO! I mean yes … but MOSTLY THE FANS! I mean have you seen me? I’m a role model. Showing them that despite the adversity you face in life, the hardships to get where you are, the reputation and fake rumors spread about you … you can become the most marketable, desirable, legendary wrestler the world has ever seen! They look up to me. And hearing those kids cheer for you … hearing men cheer for you despite the woman on their arms drooling at the sight of my abs, knowing that they are SO jealous of me, and their women are jealous of you Mistress … and still they cheer me. Because they know, DT may not ALWAYS win … but he usually does … and you’re gonna get a show for the ages. How many fans come home from a show and reminisce about that delightful bland Recoba guy? How many will tell their kids about the joy of seeing Jason Long, back when he had THAT face. No not that one the other one. No no he was younger.
Mistress Discipline: Approximately five.
Dr. Chaos: I mean people remember Zoran’s matches.
Death Trap: NOT BECAUSE OF HOW GOOD HE IS! It’s all for the drama and “who’s he gonna stab this time and why is it Bloodied Fox?” There is nobody in the XHF who has made history the way I have. Winning the X*Crown 15 years apart to show I have been on top that long. Winning TWO end of days tournaments, the hardest event to win!
Sarah: Rumble?
Death Trap: Nobody remembers those, do you remember Spike beat me in 2006? I don’t remember Spike beating me in 2006. Who even remembers who won this year’s rumble?
Dr. Chaos: Bloodied Fox-
Death Trap: SEE? Nobody remembers them! He’s old news, and where is he now? Obscurity.
Dr. Chaos: Steve Awesome HAS won all three call to arms-
Death Trap: … Won what now?
*Chaos shrugs. Nobody cares who won Call to Arms. It’s not like it ever benefitted anybody. Right?*
Death Trap: No, Cross Recoba is in for the fight of his life. And he’s probably sitting smug in his smoking den, eating cannoli and prepping for the day of his daughter’s wedding, laughing that he gets to have a standard 1v1 match. Because it’s his favorite! Bland!
*DT is getting very animated and his wife has to sit next to him and calm him down so he doesn’t leap up and damage his damaged knee damage.*
Death Trap: The point is: This is MY show. And unlike last time when I had to sit on the briefcase for three months and then had to deal with Stabby Sainovic and uh … uh … the dice guy. Lio? Yeah Lio. Getting in my way. Had that clumsy fool not got in my way I would have beaten Zoran. He’s never beaten me 1v1 you know. The fans will cheer me. The fans DESERVE to see me. They’ve earned it. They’ve never let me down.
*Conveniently he seems to not have processed the mixed reaction to his aggressive tactics on Mav’s peanut brittle neck.*
Death Trap: I will be ready to go. No force on Earth will hold me back.
*He tries to leap up but Mistress and Chaos grab him.*
Death Trap: LET ME GO! I NEED TO WORK OUT! STOP HOLDING ME BACK!
*Wednesday, late*
*DT walks into the frame. An XHF camera has been co-opted from the camera crew and sits on a table as Death Trap walks into frame on one crutch, moving a bit more easily, though still grimacing. He sits on a chair in what appears to be a conference room in the lobby of the hotel. A few stragglers pace around the lobby but seem to not notice the burly Italian man with an expensive video camera in the closed door side room. Lights off, silhouettes dancing over his figure as people move in front of and away from the light of the lobby.*
Death Trap: It’s pretty hilarious when you think about it, Cross.
*He begins to mock laughter before massaging his leg and getting very serious.*
Death Trap: Look at the two divergent paths we have taken to this point. A man with more accolades than an average politician has scandals. A man who is celebrated as the top of the class. A man who is a bona fide legend! And then … there’s you. Here I sit, the only two time end of days winner, SCCW Hall of Famer, ECF Hall of Famer, a two time X*Crown champion, a 2 time MCCW world champion, a 2 time ECF World Champion, a 1 time XHF World Champion, FIVE top 6 rumble finishes, 2 time Rumble Iron Man, 1 time most eliminations in the rumble, longest reigning global tag team champion – so damn dominant that people got too afraid to face us and Mongo had to force the hands of fed owners to actually give us competition. A HEALTHY relationship with my wife, a proven top tier draw. And then there’s … you. You have the X*Crown now … and a dead world title … and I suppose HardKore World somehow managed to build a roster so inadequate that you managed to win the world title. Two fair showings in a rumble. Broken relationships with your former wife and former best friend. Both of whom were known to be more successful than you until a few months ago. But HEY! You beat them now! Congrats.
*DT mockingly slow claps for him. He laughs and then leans forward, stroking his beard*
Death Trap: Oh and I suppose you have a mildly successful side hustle as a major domo of a wrestling company. Got a fancy new add-on to that arena too! I mean sure, you need more fans before touring is an option … had to do so many favors and who knows how many backroom deals to get funding … but hey you gotta do what you can when your fan base is drunk broke gamblers trying to find something more pitiful than themselves to watch after losing all their cash in the casino. Kudos! You gave people a reason not to put that gun in their mouth because HEY at least they aren’t the schmucks in the ring! But that is something I have never done. I have never opened up the second most popular show in town and had my top guy open up a competing show where I have to hold my shows because I’m out turning tricks for pocket change and threatening to whack guys to get them to pretend to support you. No no, seriously I think it’s great people can go see Tapout when SCCW, DTF, Jeff Dunham, Britney Spears, and whatever unknown Pink Floyd Cover band is in studio G are sold out.
*DT leans back into the shadows, clearly a bit underwhelmed. He once again strokes his beard in thought however. He adjusts his BHB bowler hat on his head and furrows his brow.*
Death Trap: Tapout. How ironic. Your little baby. Your pet project. A place so understaffed in talent that even YOU refuse to wrestle there! “Oh it’s a conflict of interest! Oh I don’t wanna devalue my roster by making them all look like putzes!” Dude, it’s ok. I’m here to speak honestly and frankly to you. It’s fine that you acknowledge that you are better than the C-list. It’s fine that you know that nobody in Tapout will ever be X*Crown champ again. Jack Diamond’s best days are behind him, Jason Long’s neck is still out in the waters of San Pedro. Your two top draws are broken. And I’m the one who put the nail in the coffin. Little ol’ DT who people STILL choose to doubt. Who, despite all my successes and value I’ve given the Network, you other lesser wrestlers still find ways to denigrate my name and question my status as the best technical wrestler of all time. But hey, that’s fine. I’m sure you are in that boat too, Recoba. Probably telling everyone how I’m past my prime, yesterday’s news, blah blah, heard it all before. And maybe I am. Maybe I am past my prime.
*He nods his head solemnly.*
Death Trap: My knees are a target, my head has a history of failing me, my legendary stamina can only carry me through an entire tournament or 5 hours of a rumble! OH WOE IS ME! Well … it’s good to know that even this far from my prime I’m still so much better than so much of the Network roster, and certainly YOUR whole roster.
*He holds up a hand and begins to count on his fingers*
Death Trap: Jack Diamond, put him to sleep. Jason Long, broke his neck. I’m a regular Iconkiller after all. But hey let’s dig deeper into your problems. Your biggest name on the roster right now is an Icon who is more concerned with quieting the voices in his head, and showing off how he builds a better roster than you while grifting you of cash that could have signed you five equal caliber talents. Your second most recognizable star is the most celebrated choke artist in the history of ever and who has claimed to have killed his own mother. Your third most notable star is a cult leader who, if he had his way, would drain the blood of your entire roster to fill his swimming pool of shame and sorrow. Like… how do you keep Poena on your books and call it a good business decision? How many security guards have you lost due to that nutjob? And then your FOURTH most recognizable name is currently not active on your roster because she got an owie wowie at the hands of the cult leader. Your FIFTH best name on the card just got BACK from being injured by your cult leader, AND has lost as much as he’s won since he got back. AND then there’s your champion who is a criminal, a stereotype, and a one-note champion who can win any bar-fight you put him in but ask him to wrestle a regular match and he wilts under the lights. Cross … face it … your baby is a joke. Like you. It reflects on the man who runs it, promotes it, and chooses NOT to be a part of it.
*He puts his counted fingers down and leans into the camera*
Death Trap: Cross, as a business owner, and as a top draw? You just … don’t cut it. And it’s time for you to listen to the banner behind you … and tap out. It was a good run! You got your notoriety, managed to FINALLY erase the stigma of being second best to Card and Dakota, and you built a show that attracts some buzz. You’ve peaked. You managed to snag the leftover market that Caffrey put out into the aether. You managed to pick the bones of an insane Fox after he was knocked down by myself and my wife. You DID it! You’re a second rate champion, in a second rate fed, running a third rate fed, and frankly? You’re overmatched. By this Sunday, my leg will be healed. I know you have these grand dreams of making me tap out. The third man to ever make that happen. But just because you run Tapout doesn’t mean you have the ability to make ME do as such. I am the master of the dragon sleeper, I have a million ways to make you submit. I have made better men than you tap out. And a better woman than you has made you tap out. Call to Arms 1. Death Trap pins Bloodied Fox, Cross Recoba taps out to my protégé and trainee at the time, Mistress Discipline. In the bright lights of the global stage, Cross Recoba wilts like the flora in the Vegas heat.
*DT reaches up to turn off the camera*
Death Trap: I’ll see you Sunday, Cross. And I’ll see you tapping out shortly after. And as the fans cheer my name as I become the third three time X*Crown champ … you’ll know … you and your entire fed should NEVER have crossed me!
*Fade*
Death Trap: Doctor Acula! FIX MY FUCKING LEG!
Doctor: … Ok … my name is Jeffers.
Dr. Chaos: I still don’t know why I couldn’t just examine him.
Mistress Discipline: Excepting the obvious conflict of interest, Chaos, something tells me Death Trap would not appreciate his leg being examined by a veterinarian.
Dr. Chaos: But I get the GOOD meds! A little vitamin K!
Doctor: Actually B vitamins would probably be better but this isn’t really a matter for over the counter vitamins. This is a muscle and joint problem.
*We are in a local medical facility the day after End of Days Week 4. DT is set up on the doctor’s table with his left knee heavily bandaged and a small compression sleeve on his right.*
Death Trap: Well this has been a lovely conversation Dr. Jimmers.
Doctor: Jeffers.
Death Trap: Phil.
*The doctor looks heartbroken.*
Death Trap: But I need to be at 100% for my match this Sunday. And I need to be able to perform for my legions of fans. They expect the very best of me. I am a legend after all.
Doctor: That leg will not be 100% by Sunday. You tweaked it two weeks ago and slipping around on wet boards is not a good way to rehab an injury.
Dr. Chaos: I really don’t want to have to call the glue factory.
Mistress Discipline: My husband is not a HORSE, Chaos.
Dr. Chaos: Not what you said the other night …
*Chaos lets that linger. Sarah pops out from next to her and looks up at her mother.*
Sarah: … Ew …
*DT grabs the doctor by the arm and pulls him in close, putting his arm around the man’s shoulders.*
Death Trap: Look, Dr. Phil. I’m sorry I’m a bit agitated. But this is a momentous, historic achievement. And this coming week is a match I’ve been trying to get for two years now. I am not going to let this slight …
Sarah: Boo boo?
Dr. Chaos: Owie wowie?
Death Trap: Tweak … stop me from kicking Cross’s ass. Look, doc, I just need a way for this to be better. The fans are counting on you. You wouldn’t want to let the fans down. I am the main attraction in the main event once again. The ONLY two time End of Days winner. They are all coming out to see me. Nobody cares about ODS. Nobody knows who the End are. And Cross is hated the world over! The ticket sales went from 10% to sold out the minute I pinned Maverick. Jason Long. Whatever.
Doctor: *sigh* Look Mr. Carloni. It’s not structural damage, it’s not surgery. But your muscles and joints don’t heal like they did when you were 20.
Death Trap: …No this is pretty much the usual.
Doctor: Oh. Well then your healing ability is not the greatest.
Mistress Discipline: You are telling us. Just try getting him to clean the bathroom. Suddenly he is incapable of walking!
Dr. Chaos: MOVING ON! No bathroom talk! This is a doctor’s office. A place of healing and deserves respect. No bad talk.
Doctor: Didn’t you just make a hung like a hor-
Dr. Chaos: NO BAD TALK ONLY RESPECT!
*The doctor rolls his eyes and hands DT two crutches and then begins to put a stiff brace on the knee to keep it straight.*
Doctor: As you start to feel better you can go off the brace, then drop to one crutch, and then lose the crutch when you feel fine.
*DT lights up. He leaps off the table and immediately crumples to his right as his left leg cannot bend.*
Death Trap: Fine. I will use your stupid crutches.
*Tuesday, morning*
*Death Trap is seen walking on both crutches. The crew is in a hotel room overlooking the city of Sacramento. DT is restless as he keeps trying to put weight on the leg but can’t. Upside is the brace is gone.*
Death Trap: No no, not going back to 2005. Death Trap is no longer synonymous with getting hurt around title matches. I’ve managed to avoid injury since the Network debuted. Barring that one time Donzig almost killed me in SWAT. But that was off network so nobody cares. Like most of Jason Long’s “accomplishments”. Meaningless. Donzig is dead and buried.
Dr. Chaos: I don’t remember you burying him.
Death Trap: No, Spike did it for me! Saved me a trip to WUK to finish the job. Sad we just missed out on getting to show those Brits what real tag team wrestling looks like.
Mistress Discipline: You need to sit down and rest. We are too close to our goal. Our X*Crown is in sight! Nobody will question us anymore. You need to heal.
Death Trap: I know. I owe it to the fans! But I hate having to accept that doctor’s help. We don’t need any help. We’ve never needed any help. But I suppose this isn’t in ring help, just making sure the fans get what they paid for. I mean can you imagine anyone spending the money these event seats cost without me there? I mean if Fox was there, MAYBE they’d pay to see if he actually murders someone. Or to throw tomatoes at SubUnderwear. But … Cross just isn’t the headliner he thinks he is. I’m really doing him a favor by showing up. Instantly he can brag about a sold out show he headlined. Like anyone would pay to watch him make Jason Long an offer he couldn’t refuse. Then break his neck behind the ref’s back like the sleaze ball he is. Chris Card taught him everything he knew, and then Cross went out and learned a whole new way to suck.
*DT hobbles on his crutches to the fridge to get a Dr. Pepper.*
Mistress Discipline: Yes, well we are there now. And we need to make sure he is incapable of stealing our credit for our drawing power. After what Fox did to us, trying to murder us, causing your instability and depression, and then letting Cross win to avoid a showdown with us on fair grounds. Only winning our X*Crown will soothe these damages!
*DT cracks open the soda then hobbles to the couch and sits down, massaging his leg.*
Dr. Chaos: Maybe you should be hydrating with water? And taking anti-inflammatories.
Death Trap: The only pills you brought are Children’s Motrin …
Dr. Chaos: Well, you are a child at heart!
Death Trap: But not in the knees. Apparently my knees think I’m 40!
Mistress Discipline: You are 44 in November…
*DT wrinkles his nose and scoffs at this remark.*
Death Trap: Age is but a number! I have been having a better run in my late 30s and early 40s than I ever did in my 20s! Besides, with all the time I missed before my 40th birthday I’m essentially 30. And I have the best driving force in the world.
Mistress Discipline: My love?
Dr. Chaos: Rampant Narcissism?
Sarah: HATS!
*DT puts his face in his hands. He rubs his forehead and hair before looking up at them.*
Death Trap: NO! I mean yes … but MOSTLY THE FANS! I mean have you seen me? I’m a role model. Showing them that despite the adversity you face in life, the hardships to get where you are, the reputation and fake rumors spread about you … you can become the most marketable, desirable, legendary wrestler the world has ever seen! They look up to me. And hearing those kids cheer for you … hearing men cheer for you despite the woman on their arms drooling at the sight of my abs, knowing that they are SO jealous of me, and their women are jealous of you Mistress … and still they cheer me. Because they know, DT may not ALWAYS win … but he usually does … and you’re gonna get a show for the ages. How many fans come home from a show and reminisce about that delightful bland Recoba guy? How many will tell their kids about the joy of seeing Jason Long, back when he had THAT face. No not that one the other one. No no he was younger.
Mistress Discipline: Approximately five.
Dr. Chaos: I mean people remember Zoran’s matches.
Death Trap: NOT BECAUSE OF HOW GOOD HE IS! It’s all for the drama and “who’s he gonna stab this time and why is it Bloodied Fox?” There is nobody in the XHF who has made history the way I have. Winning the X*Crown 15 years apart to show I have been on top that long. Winning TWO end of days tournaments, the hardest event to win!
Sarah: Rumble?
Death Trap: Nobody remembers those, do you remember Spike beat me in 2006? I don’t remember Spike beating me in 2006. Who even remembers who won this year’s rumble?
Dr. Chaos: Bloodied Fox-
Death Trap: SEE? Nobody remembers them! He’s old news, and where is he now? Obscurity.
Dr. Chaos: Steve Awesome HAS won all three call to arms-
Death Trap: … Won what now?
*Chaos shrugs. Nobody cares who won Call to Arms. It’s not like it ever benefitted anybody. Right?*
Death Trap: No, Cross Recoba is in for the fight of his life. And he’s probably sitting smug in his smoking den, eating cannoli and prepping for the day of his daughter’s wedding, laughing that he gets to have a standard 1v1 match. Because it’s his favorite! Bland!
*DT is getting very animated and his wife has to sit next to him and calm him down so he doesn’t leap up and damage his damaged knee damage.*
Death Trap: The point is: This is MY show. And unlike last time when I had to sit on the briefcase for three months and then had to deal with Stabby Sainovic and uh … uh … the dice guy. Lio? Yeah Lio. Getting in my way. Had that clumsy fool not got in my way I would have beaten Zoran. He’s never beaten me 1v1 you know. The fans will cheer me. The fans DESERVE to see me. They’ve earned it. They’ve never let me down.
*Conveniently he seems to not have processed the mixed reaction to his aggressive tactics on Mav’s peanut brittle neck.*
Death Trap: I will be ready to go. No force on Earth will hold me back.
*He tries to leap up but Mistress and Chaos grab him.*
Death Trap: LET ME GO! I NEED TO WORK OUT! STOP HOLDING ME BACK!
*Wednesday, late*
*DT walks into the frame. An XHF camera has been co-opted from the camera crew and sits on a table as Death Trap walks into frame on one crutch, moving a bit more easily, though still grimacing. He sits on a chair in what appears to be a conference room in the lobby of the hotel. A few stragglers pace around the lobby but seem to not notice the burly Italian man with an expensive video camera in the closed door side room. Lights off, silhouettes dancing over his figure as people move in front of and away from the light of the lobby.*
Death Trap: It’s pretty hilarious when you think about it, Cross.
*He begins to mock laughter before massaging his leg and getting very serious.*
Death Trap: Look at the two divergent paths we have taken to this point. A man with more accolades than an average politician has scandals. A man who is celebrated as the top of the class. A man who is a bona fide legend! And then … there’s you. Here I sit, the only two time end of days winner, SCCW Hall of Famer, ECF Hall of Famer, a two time X*Crown champion, a 2 time MCCW world champion, a 2 time ECF World Champion, a 1 time XHF World Champion, FIVE top 6 rumble finishes, 2 time Rumble Iron Man, 1 time most eliminations in the rumble, longest reigning global tag team champion – so damn dominant that people got too afraid to face us and Mongo had to force the hands of fed owners to actually give us competition. A HEALTHY relationship with my wife, a proven top tier draw. And then there’s … you. You have the X*Crown now … and a dead world title … and I suppose HardKore World somehow managed to build a roster so inadequate that you managed to win the world title. Two fair showings in a rumble. Broken relationships with your former wife and former best friend. Both of whom were known to be more successful than you until a few months ago. But HEY! You beat them now! Congrats.
*DT mockingly slow claps for him. He laughs and then leans forward, stroking his beard*
Death Trap: Oh and I suppose you have a mildly successful side hustle as a major domo of a wrestling company. Got a fancy new add-on to that arena too! I mean sure, you need more fans before touring is an option … had to do so many favors and who knows how many backroom deals to get funding … but hey you gotta do what you can when your fan base is drunk broke gamblers trying to find something more pitiful than themselves to watch after losing all their cash in the casino. Kudos! You gave people a reason not to put that gun in their mouth because HEY at least they aren’t the schmucks in the ring! But that is something I have never done. I have never opened up the second most popular show in town and had my top guy open up a competing show where I have to hold my shows because I’m out turning tricks for pocket change and threatening to whack guys to get them to pretend to support you. No no, seriously I think it’s great people can go see Tapout when SCCW, DTF, Jeff Dunham, Britney Spears, and whatever unknown Pink Floyd Cover band is in studio G are sold out.
*DT leans back into the shadows, clearly a bit underwhelmed. He once again strokes his beard in thought however. He adjusts his BHB bowler hat on his head and furrows his brow.*
Death Trap: Tapout. How ironic. Your little baby. Your pet project. A place so understaffed in talent that even YOU refuse to wrestle there! “Oh it’s a conflict of interest! Oh I don’t wanna devalue my roster by making them all look like putzes!” Dude, it’s ok. I’m here to speak honestly and frankly to you. It’s fine that you acknowledge that you are better than the C-list. It’s fine that you know that nobody in Tapout will ever be X*Crown champ again. Jack Diamond’s best days are behind him, Jason Long’s neck is still out in the waters of San Pedro. Your two top draws are broken. And I’m the one who put the nail in the coffin. Little ol’ DT who people STILL choose to doubt. Who, despite all my successes and value I’ve given the Network, you other lesser wrestlers still find ways to denigrate my name and question my status as the best technical wrestler of all time. But hey, that’s fine. I’m sure you are in that boat too, Recoba. Probably telling everyone how I’m past my prime, yesterday’s news, blah blah, heard it all before. And maybe I am. Maybe I am past my prime.
*He nods his head solemnly.*
Death Trap: My knees are a target, my head has a history of failing me, my legendary stamina can only carry me through an entire tournament or 5 hours of a rumble! OH WOE IS ME! Well … it’s good to know that even this far from my prime I’m still so much better than so much of the Network roster, and certainly YOUR whole roster.
*He holds up a hand and begins to count on his fingers*
Death Trap: Jack Diamond, put him to sleep. Jason Long, broke his neck. I’m a regular Iconkiller after all. But hey let’s dig deeper into your problems. Your biggest name on the roster right now is an Icon who is more concerned with quieting the voices in his head, and showing off how he builds a better roster than you while grifting you of cash that could have signed you five equal caliber talents. Your second most recognizable star is the most celebrated choke artist in the history of ever and who has claimed to have killed his own mother. Your third most notable star is a cult leader who, if he had his way, would drain the blood of your entire roster to fill his swimming pool of shame and sorrow. Like… how do you keep Poena on your books and call it a good business decision? How many security guards have you lost due to that nutjob? And then your FOURTH most recognizable name is currently not active on your roster because she got an owie wowie at the hands of the cult leader. Your FIFTH best name on the card just got BACK from being injured by your cult leader, AND has lost as much as he’s won since he got back. AND then there’s your champion who is a criminal, a stereotype, and a one-note champion who can win any bar-fight you put him in but ask him to wrestle a regular match and he wilts under the lights. Cross … face it … your baby is a joke. Like you. It reflects on the man who runs it, promotes it, and chooses NOT to be a part of it.
*He puts his counted fingers down and leans into the camera*
Death Trap: Cross, as a business owner, and as a top draw? You just … don’t cut it. And it’s time for you to listen to the banner behind you … and tap out. It was a good run! You got your notoriety, managed to FINALLY erase the stigma of being second best to Card and Dakota, and you built a show that attracts some buzz. You’ve peaked. You managed to snag the leftover market that Caffrey put out into the aether. You managed to pick the bones of an insane Fox after he was knocked down by myself and my wife. You DID it! You’re a second rate champion, in a second rate fed, running a third rate fed, and frankly? You’re overmatched. By this Sunday, my leg will be healed. I know you have these grand dreams of making me tap out. The third man to ever make that happen. But just because you run Tapout doesn’t mean you have the ability to make ME do as such. I am the master of the dragon sleeper, I have a million ways to make you submit. I have made better men than you tap out. And a better woman than you has made you tap out. Call to Arms 1. Death Trap pins Bloodied Fox, Cross Recoba taps out to my protégé and trainee at the time, Mistress Discipline. In the bright lights of the global stage, Cross Recoba wilts like the flora in the Vegas heat.
*DT reaches up to turn off the camera*
Death Trap: I’ll see you Sunday, Cross. And I’ll see you tapping out shortly after. And as the fans cheer my name as I become the third three time X*Crown champ … you’ll know … you and your entire fed should NEVER have crossed me!
*Fade*
