Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Nov 10, 2023 19:44:21 GMT -5
TAKE TWO
*A blank screen- literally blank because the computer isn’t even turned on. Reflected in the black shine is Paramount+’s The Star Trekker. She stares at the empty void ahead of her.*
Trekker: Computer, display information on my opponents for the…pie match in DTF.
*Nothing. Again, the computer isn’t even turned on. The plucky representative of the streaming service turns in her chair to face the camera. She’s dressed as Beckett Mariner.*
Trekker: As you can see there’s not much to go on with these guys. But you know it’s the same with me, right? I feel for all of you here at the Diamond Training Facility, you’re still usually new to the business- and really so am I. But that doesn’t mean that people should count us out, right? I mean I am the Junior Heavyweight Champion of the entire XHF Network so that means something.
*She nods to herself, maybe that’s the person she’s actually talking to.*
Trekker: There’s a whole series about people like us. The fresh young talent that hasn’t been really recognized for all they do quite yet. It’s called Star Trek: Lower Decks- and the fourth season just wrapped up and is available on Paramount+! Lower Decks is based on an old episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation- also on Paramount+ for those of you keeping notes. The focus is around a group of ensigns.
*There’s a pause for a moment.*
Trekker: I should probably explain what an ensign is. Lord Dominicus always tells me he can’t understand half the things I say. An ensign is a junior member of the crew, its one step up from a cadet- a trainee. Now obviously our situation is a little different since technically speaking the roster of DTF are all trainees. Anyway, instead of focusing on the bridge crew- the uh, top staff- the show looks at space travel through the eyes of those who are less experience- and less recognized. That’s you and me!
*She points to the camera and to herself again.*
Trekker: Nobody knows who we are- if I’m honest I’d only heard of Dana Daniels and that’s because of his interactions with Marty Donovan and Jack Diamond- two much…much…much more established superstars. And maybe you guys only know me because of this…
*Slowly and deliberately the XHF Junior Heavyweight Championship is raised up into the frame.*
Trekker: It’s funny because until this moment, until I held this, people thought of me as one of many faces in a multi-person match. A warm body to get hucked over the top rope with the likes of Neflix, Hulu, and Discovery+’s offerings. And I guess I was. But I worked hard to fight against that image, to show the world that I am indeed somebody real and not just another mascot.
*She looks at her hand, and puts the title back down.*
Trekker: I am real- and so are you. You guys aren’t just warm bodies either. You’re actual wrestlers, being trained to be great one day- one day. I mean yes, you are pretty rough around the edges but I mean who isn’t? Sure, I guess this particular lineup looks a little strange to most people…
*Looking back at her hand, the Star Trekker begins to count on her fingers.*
Trekker: The tallest short guy, a stoner, a maybe werewolf, and whatever Dana is supposed to be aside from very very pathetic- all up against the best star to come out of- and back into- and then out of again Dinosaur Bones. But by all means, don’t let your clear deficiencies stop you. Your very clear deficiencies.
*A brief pause while she lets that linger a moment.*
Trekker: Because this month you have a really important mission! You’ve been tasked with stealing the show and letting the XHF Network see just what a bunch of nobodies really can do! That’s the Lower Decks’ spirit!
*Yeah! She is trying to cheer on her opponents.*
Trekker: Don’t worry boys, I see you! I respect you as opponents- after all I only started what, a year ago? And look at me now! I’m way further than most of you have probably dreamed! If I can do it, you can do it too! But here’s the thing…
*She hold sup a finger.*
Trekker: Being ignored and overlooked is easier. I know- I was able to slip under the radar last month and get my win because nobody expected anyone from DB to win. But as a fellow lower-decker, I’m not looking past any of you guys. In fact I’m looking straight at you.
*Deadpan into the camera.*
Trekker: I’m looking at this group of potential nobodies- in a terrible match type- on a show that’s basically a televised developmental- and I’m thinking about how to beat each and every one of you. I’m sifting through the handfuls of information about each of you…or at least your profiles as they’re listed on the XHF Network’s website and trying to come up with a strategy. And most of all I’m asking myself: “What would Janeway do?”
*Pause.*
Trekker: And let me tell you Ben, BK, Obal, and Double D- I will Tuvix* the [CENSORED] out of you if I have to.
*She grabs the title again and points to it.*
Trekker: This is mine now. Maybe I don’t deserve it; maybe I’m not good enough to hold it yet. Maybe I got lucky that El Rey was overwhelmed. Maybe maybe maybe- but right now? Right now little old nobody the Star Trekker is holding one of the most prestigious titles in this Network. Right now this lower decker is on bridge duty. Right now I’M the star. This is MY title, and I’m not gonna give it up without a fight. So I hope you all like pie, because you guys are gonna be eating my pie all night!
*A nod, she recognizes what she just said but has decided to go with it.*
Trekker: …Yeah!
TAKE ONE
*We open on a refrigerator.*
“Pie, delicious.”
*Trekker opens the door of the fridge; we’re in the garage/hang-out room for Bad to the Bone (formerly Racing). The lithe figure of Star Trekker finds…nothing in the fridge.*
Trekker: Where the [CENSORED] is my pie!? Guuuuuuuys!
*She turns around as the camera pans out to reveal the rest of the team sitting around the table eating (presumably) Trekker’s pie.*
LD: Pie is for closers.
Trekker: I’m literally the only person here who has a title.
*Everyone stops and looks at her.*
LD: Wait, really?
Trekker: Yeah, losers.
LD: Uh…pie is for um…
BB: …Miembros de rango superior.
LD: Yeah, REAL members of the team, not interlopers.
Trekker: But I was gonna use it for a promo!
*The group looks at each other, turns back to her, shrugs, and then returns to eating the delicious pie in front of them. Fade out.*
*Context for Tuvix:
In an episode of Star Trek Voyager, two of the main characters (Tuvok and Neelix) were merged due to a transporter accident. The merging created a new person in their place, Tuvix. Although he seemed to have all of the skills of his predecessors and was very much an individual being, Captain Janeway forced him to be separated back into his component…uh, people. Thus she ordered Tuvix to his death so that she could have the original characters back. Was it murder? Perhaps. Star Trekker seems to have intended it as a threat of that level.