Aren't you that old wrestler with the Dole Whip?
Nov 25, 2023 23:15:56 GMT -5
Dave D-Flipz, Cross Recoba, and 3 more like this
Post by Visit Neom on Nov 25, 2023 23:15:56 GMT -5
We open on the Hardkore Helloween press conference. Kevin Valentine Junior sits on stage next to a confident Tinto (Lil Corny in some circles). The oversized Loki helmet rests on the boy's head and he proudly holds up his tennis racket.
TINTO:
Yeah, I originally was supposed to be in a Hardkore Helloween tournament match, but all the other wrestlers threatened to protest the show out of fear. That’s okay though. Mr. Recoba only just got his X-Factor championship and I’d feel bad taking it from him so soon.
Nobody in the crowd says anything.
TINTO:
Well, if there are no more questions then that concludes our press conference.
KEVIN:
No, it doesn’t. We have nine more wrestlers scheduled.
TINTO:
Oh. Welp, good night.
Tinto grabs his gym bag and starts to walk off stage.
TINTO:
Yeah, I originally was supposed to be in a Hardkore Helloween tournament match, but all the other wrestlers threatened to protest the show out of fear. That’s okay though. Mr. Recoba only just got his X-Factor championship and I’d feel bad taking it from him so soon.
Nobody in the crowd says anything.
TINTO:
Well, if there are no more questions then that concludes our press conference.
KEVIN:
No, it doesn’t. We have nine more wrestlers scheduled.
TINTO:
Oh. Welp, good night.
Tinto grabs his gym bag and starts to walk off stage.
KEVIN:
Weren’t you here to read a statement for Marty?
TINTO:
Oh. I forgot.
Tinto scurries back on stage and pulls a note out of his bag.
TINTO:
Mister Marty apologizes that he can’t be here, but that hadouken was super painful and made him incredibly ugly. He sends the following message.
Tinto clears his throat.
TINTO:
Boston you were amazing. Thanks for cheering Kilroy to victory. Nobody deserves it more. I hope you’ll all have his back again when it's time to beat Cross. I’m sorry for not getting the job done, but more so for creating The Anointed. It was a selfish act that has hurt Hardkore World. I wish I could stay to make things right, but this feud has been a source of incredible stress to the person I care about most.
Tinto looks up from the note.
TINTO:
I presume he means Terk from Tarzan.
Tinto goes back to the note.
TINTO:
The fireball was the last straw. I can’t put them through anymore of this. Thank you to Kilroy, Stein, Watts, Florida Man, Jonnie, Guillermo and, yes, even Syberus. In the immortal words of Doug Flutie, always do your best because a pat on the back is real close to a kick in the pants.
Tinto stands there for a minute before crumpling up the note.
TINTO:
BORING! I’m going to the hotel arcade if any of you dirt sheets want to trade scoops for tokens.
The fake orphan pulls out a pair of Marty’s boots and places them on the table before skipping off excitedly. The shot fades out on a shocked Kevin.
TINTO:
Oh. I forgot.
Tinto scurries back on stage and pulls a note out of his bag.
TINTO:
Mister Marty apologizes that he can’t be here, but that hadouken was super painful and made him incredibly ugly. He sends the following message.
Tinto clears his throat.
TINTO:
Boston you were amazing. Thanks for cheering Kilroy to victory. Nobody deserves it more. I hope you’ll all have his back again when it's time to beat Cross. I’m sorry for not getting the job done, but more so for creating The Anointed. It was a selfish act that has hurt Hardkore World. I wish I could stay to make things right, but this feud has been a source of incredible stress to the person I care about most.
Tinto looks up from the note.
TINTO:
I presume he means Terk from Tarzan.
Tinto goes back to the note.
TINTO:
The fireball was the last straw. I can’t put them through anymore of this. Thank you to Kilroy, Stein, Watts, Florida Man, Jonnie, Guillermo and, yes, even Syberus. In the immortal words of Doug Flutie, always do your best because a pat on the back is real close to a kick in the pants.
Tinto stands there for a minute before crumpling up the note.
TINTO:
BORING! I’m going to the hotel arcade if any of you dirt sheets want to trade scoops for tokens.
The fake orphan pulls out a pair of Marty’s boots and places them on the table before skipping off excitedly. The shot fades out on a shocked Kevin.