Post by Steve Awesome on Nov 28, 2023 23:58:40 GMT -5
The scene opens inside the Awesome living room. Steve is flipping through the picture book he had made of all of Kasper’s pictures. A great coffee table read if you ever get the chance.
“Maaaan….”
Steve said with a laugh and a shake of his head. He finishes the book and closes it.
“To think this broad thought she could control me with all this.”
He says, reopening the book and starting from the beginning.
“Women are the ones who are weak. They have always had weaker minds.”
Leonard Fox, who had been sitting nearby waiting for his turn to flip through the book, calls him out.
“Isn’t that a bit misogynistic?”
Steve takes a moment to process that word.
“I dont know what getting massages has to do with anything, but we can go later.”
Steve shrugs it off and continues.
“Women don’t control me, I control women. When I get to Japan, I’ll have sweet, naive Kasper Van Zant wrapped around my finger and she will be trapped within my insatiable charm.”
Leonard rolls his eyes and also partially accepts that he’s not going to get a turn with the picture book anytime soon.
“There is no woman on this planet that can control me.”
He confidently shook his head.
“There is no woman on this planet that can make me number two.”
He crossed his arms.
“And there is absolutely No woman that I fear!”
He sits back on the sofa, satisfied with his rant.
Suddenly….
“STEVEN T. FRANCIS BATES!”
He heard his girlfriend Zelda Knite scream his full name from across the entire house. His eyes grew wide in utter fear.
“WHAT THE HELL KIND OF PICTURES DID YOU TAKE ON MY CAMERA!”
Steve looks over at Leonard, frozen in fear. Like a deer in headlights.
“Yuh-oh!”
~~~~
THE HARDKORE REALITY OF STEVE AWESOME
“Mr. Repetitive”
~~~~~
“Ugh, eww, why?, no, gross,….”
We find Zelda going through all the butthole pictures that Steve took of himself with her high definition camera. Zelda checks a few more and almost throws up in her mouth. She finally set the camera down and had enough.
“Well that’s a side of you I don’t normally see.”
Steve slumped on the couch as Zelda stood in front of the coffee table.
“Why in the hell were you taking pictures of your butt? And don’t say they were for me, because you know I don’t want them!”
“They were for another…”
Steve’s brain kicked in. “Don’t say other woman or girlfriend get mad!”
“…another guy?”
He instantly regretted his response but went for it anyway.
“They were for Kanyon.”
Zelda rubs her chin.
“You know I'd almost believe that. But I was there when he got pictures of all of our buttholes. But his stuff is artsy, Steve. Like a beautiful solar eclipse, or a fancy butterfly. These photos that you took are like an open wound. They are terrifying. And in some of those pictures it’s clear that you don’t wipe so good.”
“I try to but I wipe and I wipe but still poop. It’s like there is a brown marker back there….”
Zelda becomes more horrified and Steve realizes it’s time to shut up.
“Seriously, tell me who you thought would actually want pictures of this?”
Steve lowered his head in shame.
“Kasper Van Zant….”
He said with a sigh.
“But only because she sent me a bunch of nudie pics first.”
Zelda suddenly shot a glare at Steve that sent cold shivers down his spine. Uh-oh. Girlfriend mad!!! What do? “Don’t ask me, I tried to help you already. You're on your own.”
“Why is it always another girl with you? You never mention me in these flirty conversations ever! And now you got Kasper Van Zant taking slutty pictures for you? How many times do we have to go through things like this? God you can be so repetitive!”
Zelda turns away so he doesn't see her cry. Steve gets up and tries to console her and plead his case.
“I never asked for these pictures. I don’t even want them!”
He quickly throws the book of pictures out of the room while Zelda was not looking.
“I may mess up a lot.”
He says, rubbing her shoulders.
“I’m sure it gets repetitive. I know my eyes wander. I just like butts too much, Zelda. It’s my flaw as a human being. I may get a lot of temptation. But you know what doesn’t get repetitive to me? Choosing you every single time, babe.”
Zelda swooned at the sweet words coming from her boyfriend.
“None of these hoes could ever take your place, babe. And I swear to you that after I take Kasper Van Zant out to the woodshed in Japan, make her feel the burn and defend my Hardcore title. me and her will be finished. Broken up. She’ll mean nothing to me, sweetheart.”
He smirks and nods his head.
“I’m gonna leave her broken, alone and used up, after that bell rings and that will be the end of it. More time for us!”
Zelda looks up at him and smiles.
“You swear, babe?”
Steve smiles and nods.
“Of course I do, I love you. Kasper is gonna get left in the dust. And I’m gonna do that for you babe. I swear it.”
Slow fade on them hugging it out.
~~~~
STEVE AWESOME
MR. Repetitive.
“The word “repetitive” has come up recently when it pertains to me.”
The Hardcore Champion stands in front of the camera, the belt over his shoulder, the same classic smirk.
“Now it’s news to me, because I always thought I was an unpredictable showman and you just never know what I’m going to do. But I guess to some, I am predictable. Some people seem to have noticed that maybe I can be quoted cutting similar promos or that I have used the same move once or twice.”
He shrugged.
“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t, whose to really say? But it did get me thinking about repeating.”
He smirks.
“Do you wanna know why I’m allowed to repeat myself? To cut promos that say the same things and drop the same points over and over again?”
He puts his arms out and leans back.
“Because it’s all the truth, baby.”
He laughed and ran a palm through his hair.
“A wiseman once said “Repetition does not transform a lie into truth.”
“If I stood in front of this camera and told you lies, you would all have seen through it months ago. But each and every month I fly into Japan and I put my body and my life on the line in brutal death matches and each and every month I stack up more truth. I stack up more evidence that I am the single greatest HardKore Champion of the World of All Time!!!”
He pats his belt and smiles.
“So you know what, I’m good with being called repetitive, because do you know what I repeatedly do, against all challengers in whatever match J-Rok’s screwed up collective brains can come up with?”
He steps forward.
“I got my wins on repeat.”
He smirks.
“When I start telling lies, you let me know.”
“And Kasper….tough loss to Cross Recoba. Such a heartbreaker. But you better get the pieces together for Japan because I’m gonna shatter that heart one more time. You are going to feel the burn for a long time after this month.”
“Speaking of, anything you catch afterward definitely came from Cross!”
He shifts his eyes back and forth.
“Mr. Repetitive is coming to Japan to repeatedly slap the gator piss out of you and score another defense. Mr. Repetitive is going to get Xtreme on your ass and shove a kendo stick down your throat and show you why I am the New Face of HardKore! The God of SeXtreme. The HardKore Face of the Franchise.
He holds the belt up high.
“You are going to find out why I repeatedly say I can’t be stopped and why I repeatedly prove it each and every month.”
He draped the Hardcore Title over his shoulder again.
“Because I’m creating a legacy. And there is no one good enough yet to stop it.”
Steve stepped forward and slowly pulled his sunglasses off.
“Kasper Van Zant, at Symphony of Destruction, I am going to take what’s left of that southern spirit and break it over my knee.”
He smirked.
“But it’s up to you to put it back together….”
He winks into the camera.
“I know I’ll see you again…”
He shrugs.
“Until then…”
Crotch chop.
“Mr repetitive…out…”
Fade.
“Maaaan….”
Steve said with a laugh and a shake of his head. He finishes the book and closes it.
“To think this broad thought she could control me with all this.”
He says, reopening the book and starting from the beginning.
“Women are the ones who are weak. They have always had weaker minds.”
Leonard Fox, who had been sitting nearby waiting for his turn to flip through the book, calls him out.
“Isn’t that a bit misogynistic?”
Steve takes a moment to process that word.
“I dont know what getting massages has to do with anything, but we can go later.”
Steve shrugs it off and continues.
“Women don’t control me, I control women. When I get to Japan, I’ll have sweet, naive Kasper Van Zant wrapped around my finger and she will be trapped within my insatiable charm.”
Leonard rolls his eyes and also partially accepts that he’s not going to get a turn with the picture book anytime soon.
“There is no woman on this planet that can control me.”
He confidently shook his head.
“There is no woman on this planet that can make me number two.”
He crossed his arms.
“And there is absolutely No woman that I fear!”
He sits back on the sofa, satisfied with his rant.
Suddenly….
“STEVEN T. FRANCIS BATES!”
He heard his girlfriend Zelda Knite scream his full name from across the entire house. His eyes grew wide in utter fear.
“WHAT THE HELL KIND OF PICTURES DID YOU TAKE ON MY CAMERA!”
Steve looks over at Leonard, frozen in fear. Like a deer in headlights.
“Yuh-oh!”
~~~~
THE HARDKORE REALITY OF STEVE AWESOME
“Mr. Repetitive”
~~~~~
“Ugh, eww, why?, no, gross,….”
We find Zelda going through all the butthole pictures that Steve took of himself with her high definition camera. Zelda checks a few more and almost throws up in her mouth. She finally set the camera down and had enough.
“Well that’s a side of you I don’t normally see.”
Steve slumped on the couch as Zelda stood in front of the coffee table.
“Why in the hell were you taking pictures of your butt? And don’t say they were for me, because you know I don’t want them!”
“They were for another…”
Steve’s brain kicked in. “Don’t say other woman or girlfriend get mad!”
“…another guy?”
He instantly regretted his response but went for it anyway.
“They were for Kanyon.”
Zelda rubs her chin.
“You know I'd almost believe that. But I was there when he got pictures of all of our buttholes. But his stuff is artsy, Steve. Like a beautiful solar eclipse, or a fancy butterfly. These photos that you took are like an open wound. They are terrifying. And in some of those pictures it’s clear that you don’t wipe so good.”
“I try to but I wipe and I wipe but still poop. It’s like there is a brown marker back there….”
Zelda becomes more horrified and Steve realizes it’s time to shut up.
“Seriously, tell me who you thought would actually want pictures of this?”
Steve lowered his head in shame.
“Kasper Van Zant….”
He said with a sigh.
“But only because she sent me a bunch of nudie pics first.”
Zelda suddenly shot a glare at Steve that sent cold shivers down his spine. Uh-oh. Girlfriend mad!!! What do? “Don’t ask me, I tried to help you already. You're on your own.”
“Why is it always another girl with you? You never mention me in these flirty conversations ever! And now you got Kasper Van Zant taking slutty pictures for you? How many times do we have to go through things like this? God you can be so repetitive!”
Zelda turns away so he doesn't see her cry. Steve gets up and tries to console her and plead his case.
“I never asked for these pictures. I don’t even want them!”
He quickly throws the book of pictures out of the room while Zelda was not looking.
“I may mess up a lot.”
He says, rubbing her shoulders.
“I’m sure it gets repetitive. I know my eyes wander. I just like butts too much, Zelda. It’s my flaw as a human being. I may get a lot of temptation. But you know what doesn’t get repetitive to me? Choosing you every single time, babe.”
Zelda swooned at the sweet words coming from her boyfriend.
“None of these hoes could ever take your place, babe. And I swear to you that after I take Kasper Van Zant out to the woodshed in Japan, make her feel the burn and defend my Hardcore title. me and her will be finished. Broken up. She’ll mean nothing to me, sweetheart.”
He smirks and nods his head.
“I’m gonna leave her broken, alone and used up, after that bell rings and that will be the end of it. More time for us!”
Zelda looks up at him and smiles.
“You swear, babe?”
Steve smiles and nods.
“Of course I do, I love you. Kasper is gonna get left in the dust. And I’m gonna do that for you babe. I swear it.”
Slow fade on them hugging it out.
~~~~
STEVE AWESOME
MR. Repetitive.
“The word “repetitive” has come up recently when it pertains to me.”
The Hardcore Champion stands in front of the camera, the belt over his shoulder, the same classic smirk.
“Now it’s news to me, because I always thought I was an unpredictable showman and you just never know what I’m going to do. But I guess to some, I am predictable. Some people seem to have noticed that maybe I can be quoted cutting similar promos or that I have used the same move once or twice.”
He shrugged.
“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t, whose to really say? But it did get me thinking about repeating.”
He smirks.
“Do you wanna know why I’m allowed to repeat myself? To cut promos that say the same things and drop the same points over and over again?”
He puts his arms out and leans back.
“Because it’s all the truth, baby.”
He laughed and ran a palm through his hair.
“A wiseman once said “Repetition does not transform a lie into truth.”
“If I stood in front of this camera and told you lies, you would all have seen through it months ago. But each and every month I fly into Japan and I put my body and my life on the line in brutal death matches and each and every month I stack up more truth. I stack up more evidence that I am the single greatest HardKore Champion of the World of All Time!!!”
He pats his belt and smiles.
“So you know what, I’m good with being called repetitive, because do you know what I repeatedly do, against all challengers in whatever match J-Rok’s screwed up collective brains can come up with?”
He steps forward.
“I got my wins on repeat.”
He smirks.
“When I start telling lies, you let me know.”
“And Kasper….tough loss to Cross Recoba. Such a heartbreaker. But you better get the pieces together for Japan because I’m gonna shatter that heart one more time. You are going to feel the burn for a long time after this month.”
“Speaking of, anything you catch afterward definitely came from Cross!”
He shifts his eyes back and forth.
“Mr. Repetitive is coming to Japan to repeatedly slap the gator piss out of you and score another defense. Mr. Repetitive is going to get Xtreme on your ass and shove a kendo stick down your throat and show you why I am the New Face of HardKore! The God of SeXtreme. The HardKore Face of the Franchise.
He holds the belt up high.
“You are going to find out why I repeatedly say I can’t be stopped and why I repeatedly prove it each and every month.”
He draped the Hardcore Title over his shoulder again.
“Because I’m creating a legacy. And there is no one good enough yet to stop it.”
Steve stepped forward and slowly pulled his sunglasses off.
“Kasper Van Zant, at Symphony of Destruction, I am going to take what’s left of that southern spirit and break it over my knee.”
He smirked.
“But it’s up to you to put it back together….”
He winks into the camera.
“I know I’ll see you again…”
He shrugs.
“Until then…”
Crotch chop.
“Mr repetitive…out…”
Fade.