Post by Dave D-Flipz on Dec 6, 2023 23:14:09 GMT -5
November 22, 2023 - Gordon Residence - 7PM
BENSON: What is it?
ERIN: Looks like a gift box large enough to fit the Steelers D-line in.
BENSON: Well yes, but what’s in it? Who’s it from?
*Erin Gordon approaches the very large box and finds a delivery note. The return address is to some location in Australia and the name on it is Aimer Denric … well that’s certainly-*
ERIN: Real subtle you big goof. What’s this note say? “Sheila, really appreciate yer advice on the title match and mighty neighborly of ya to invite me to yer odd ‘Murican holiday dinner. Thought I’d lend a hand. Open the box now, I’ll see ya Thursday. PS: Don’t question the pseudonym! It’s all perfectly above board … ya …”
BENSON: And I’m the king of England…
*Erin lets a quiet chuckle escape her lips before grabbing the crowbar. She pries open the box’s front and … immediately dives to the ground as an angry flightless bird sprints out of it and begins to peck at the ground of her family farm.*
ERIN: … WHAT THE … that’s it, getting the shotgun.
*The emu apparently recognizes this word and sprints off into the darkness of the post-twilight fall air.*
November 23, 2023 - Gordon Residence - Ass-crack of dawn
ERIN: Gonna kill him … gonna put his head on a fencepost as a warning to other idiots!
BENSON: What is *yawn* that unholy squawking?
ERIN: The damn bird my “friend” sent us to “help” us with the Thanksgiving meal…
*Knock knock - a knocking on the door quiets the pair of Gordons. Erin cocks an eyebrow and realizes only one fool would be here so damn early in the morning. She grabs the shotgun … Knock Knock. She whips open the door and points the gun.*
ERIN: Aiden ya damn fool! What’s the idea sending me this screeching thing!? I outta - … oh …
*In the doorway stands Tucker Bernard holding tightly to a dish of Yorkshire Pudding and clearly pissing his pants.*
TUCKER: *whimper* T’wasn’t my idea! I told him not to do it! Tried to explain the holiday to him but all he heard was big meal and bird. Apparently emu are just big turkey to him and more fun to hunt.
ERIN: Damn it Tucker, come inside, clean up, and put that dish on the counter … wait … did you say hunt?
*Sure enough we hear a squawking and then a commotion coming from a bush that wasn’t there before and the emu disappears from sight.*
Two hours later
MERRIC: BAHAHAHAHA! Mighty fun! He got a good fight in but I ain’t the champ fer nothin’!
*Aiden walks to the back door of the house, covered in … red … substance … and holding a bucket full of emu breast steaks and thigh cutlets. We see a chest freezer behind him covered in red handprints and stains. He watches as the door in front of him opens and the barrel of the familiar weapon points at him. He smirks*
MERRIC: That’s hot.
*Erin lets out a sound of frustration and puts down the gun and grabs the idiot by his bandoliers and yanks him into the house.*
ERIN: And who may I ask is going to clean up my yard, my barn, and my freezer? And am I expected to cook all this food?
MERRIC: What? I’ll clean it up later, ya think I ain’t got stuff fer blood? And I figured I’d let you handle the sides and desserts fer Benson and such and I’d take some of the stress off by cooking up Mama Merric’s favorite banquet staple!
TUCKER: You can cook?
MERRIC: I’ve lived alone fer how long, Tuck? Do I look malnourished?
TUCKER: … I ain’t dumb enough ta answer that.
Noonish
*Erin is in the kitchen, Aiden is just outside the window in the yard. Erin is preparing stuffing and Aiden is on the grill. He has loaded it with charcoal and is pouring a small amount of lighter fluid to get the fire going.*
ERIN: First title defense coming up. You’re handling all this really well.
MERRIC: And why wouldn’t I? I may not be used to the spotlight but I’m more than familiar with being under the gun, under stress, and a target for everyone around me. Difference is this time ain’t no threat of being gored, eaten, shot, or stabbed.
ERIN: Are you referring to hunts? Or Poena?
MERRIC: HA! No but this ain’t that is it? It’s our old band camp dork Tommy. I ain’t about to take him lightly but let’s be real … the show everyone wants to see is happening at Supremacy. And if I walk away with my prize from there, then the real problems begin. Poena … is a monster. Jack Diamond, Jason Long, maybe Random? All top tier wrestlers. Sawyer and Nomad? Brawlers like me. Tommy? No offense but he can’t really decide what he wants to be now can he? Is he a rock star? A wrestler? Something else? It’s hard to tell if his heart is really in this, ya know? Like he’d rather be out getting some of the amber fluid than in a rip snorter in the ring. And when he does get in the ring, he’s prone to showboating and spotlight hogging.
ERIN: Don’t underestimate him. He’s been on a roll of late and he has really focused in lately. Maybe seeing how dangerous the top of the card has gotten has inspired him to actually care.
*Aiden slaps 3 emu steaks on the grill as well as some thigh pieces. Erin meanwhile moves on to boiling potatoes. Aiden smiles at the hiss of the meat on the grill. He chews on a toothpick while he fusses over the salt and seasonings.*
MERRIC: How spicy do you and Benson like it? Mild, medium, 3 alarm or Aussie?
ERIN: Mild. I don't feel like watching Tucker cry.
MERRIC: … I legitimately don’t know a way to prevent that from happening …
*Aiden sprinkles the emu with his spice mixture, leaving out the five different spicy items he has with him, and spits the toothpick onto the patio before taking a swig of his Voodoo Brewery ale, courtesy of Erin.*
ERIN: You didn’t work this hard to finally hit the top just to get complacent and lose now. You better walk out of this show with that belt.
MERRIC: Ya damn right I will. I can’t let this bloke be the bastard that gets my goat. There ain’t a fair many things I respect in this world but the guy and business paying me is one of them. The bloody fuck does he get off calling our outfit rinky-dink.
ERIN: Maybe he just knows how big we could be if I were still wrestling?
*Aiden laughs as he carefully watches the steaks for the perfect time to flip them, and fiddles with the thighs using his raw meat tongs. You all know you need two sets right?*
MERRIC: Fair dinkum. Nah bloke couple months back was complaining about how we should be bigger. Well it’s two months later and now I’m the top of the charts, to put it in his terms. A rip on the company is a rip on me and I don’t let nobody who hasn’t kicked my ass rip on me.
TUCKER: *walking by the grill to look at the food* Ya let Erin do it…
MERRIC: NOBODY that ain’t kicked my ass!
*Erin chuckles from inside as she puts the stuffing back in the oven*
MERRIC: The bastard needs to show some respect to the Aiden Domain! The world is on notice. Tapout may have a cozy roster. But it’s the biggest show on the network now that Main Event Merric has ascended! There will be no more talk of small or rinky-dink. No more talk of unknowns. Never mind the optics of this bloke pretending not to know a man who challenged the X*Crown several times and was a network world champ … in a nowhere fed ... When people see Aiden’s Tapout, they will praise Cross for signing the best new talent in the world. And I can guarantee whatever they pay Tommy would be better spent making me happier.
ERIN: I thought that title made you happy.
*Aiden smirks and flips the steaks*
MERRIC: Among other perks.
*He looks through the window with a wink. One might ALMOST think the oncoming storm blushed … but if you bring it up she might beat you down*
MERRIC: Look, Tommy is well known for being a disappointment. He brought it up himself. This holiday you Yanks celebrate, it’s the perfect thing to show ol’ Tommy. Ya know why?
TUCKER: Cuz he probably hasn’t had a meal he ain’t vomited up mid recording session in years?
MERRIC: … Also that … But also this. Tommy should be thankful for everything I am giving him. Do you really think if Poena was the champ they would’ve put Tommy up against him? Nah, ain’t no money in that. Not when Random and Poena are natural rivals. You think if Jack was champ they’d put Tommy up at him again? Nah. Ain’t no entertainment there. But they need someone who can match up with a new champ, a proven draw with a signature style? Well suddenly they gotta hold auditions since ain’t one of you up to even holding my jock strap.
ERIN: You wearing a jock?
MERRIC: Of course not, I’m freeballing, but the fact remains!
*Erin winces at that last comment before shaking her head. Tucker meanwhile is throwing up in the barn now*
MERRIC: Strychnine should be thanking me for allowing him to be relevant. He should be thankful for the opportunity in the Age of Aussie Hospitality. ANYONE AND EVERYONE CAN STEP UP AND GET PUNCHED IN THE THROAT. But most importantly, he should be thankful for the fact that after he adds another loss to his record, all he’ll have to be is embarrassed. At being NEARLY AND ALMOST Tommy again. Cuz if this were Poena, he’d be fishing his larynx out of a blood goblet. If this were NOMAD he’d be picking up his teeth from the various rows of the crowd. But me? I’m a generous, benevolent brawler. See I’m still gonna knock his head off. But they only pay me bell to bell. He can walk it off after, maybe get some ice and a hangover cure for the concussion my lariato will be giving him. He can be thankful I am only the most violent, brutal, unstoppable force … when I’m being paid to show off my talents. After all, as the face of Tapout I gotta set an example for the kiddies! And he can be thankful for my show of mercy once I’ve got my title in tow. Tommy, he ain’t cut out to be the face of anything. But me? People are gonna start seeing something more from me. I fought years to get here, to be taken seriously, and to be the best at what I do. Be it brawling or cooking. And Tommy just ain’t man enough to take this all away from me. And I’m thankful for the warm up to show everyone what their champ can do before I toss it up with NOMAD.
*Aiden pokes at the steaks with his finger to test for medium rare.*
MERRIC: Enough about depressing rock and roller stories. The meat is done with its meet and greet with the heat and ready to eat. Let’s get the boys together and pig out.
ERIN: Boys?
MERRIC: You find me proof Tucker has earned the title of man and I’ll amend my statement.
*They laugh as they head inside. Fade out*