Post by Dave D-Flipz on Dec 12, 2023 7:34:19 GMT -5
Funaki: Look, all I’m saying is I’ve been out doing meets and greets. I’ve been out promoting the BHB racing team. Ever since DT lost to Cross we’re back to square one! He’s just sitting at home, only difference is instead of being depressed, he’s mad.
Dr. Chaos: And I think I know how to get it back. Winning a race … for a cup!
*Funaki stands in the kitchen of the rental property that the Bowler Hat Brigade is currently occupying in North Carolina. Across from him is a butt. Or rather it’s a butt sticking out of a fridge. Attached to the butt is Dr. Chaos, the CAR medical expert and best friend and manager of the Bowler Hat Brigade’s Death Trap and Mistress Discipline.*
Funaki: Yes but he hasn’t signed UP for a race since October! He doesn’t care.
*Chaos pulls herself from the fridge, munching on a cup of chocolate pudding. As she pulls the spoon from her mouth she points it at Funaki … which flicks chocolate onto his cheek … he immediately curls his face in disgust.*
Dr. Chaos: OOPS! Sorry. This month isn’t voluntary. He qualified for the race so he will have to race.
*She goes for another spoon when she is startled from behind.*
Death Trap: Like hell I do!
*The spoon flies up and goes right down Chaos’s shirt.*
Dr. Chaos: …Damn it … they are ALWAYS catching things…
Funaki: DT! You got off the computer!
Death Trap: Yeah some twerp was on the DT fan club site trying to tell everyone I support flamingos for the national bird.
Sarah: … … Pink?
*Sarah creeps in and steals the pudding cup while Chaos fishes the spoon from her shirt.
Death Trap: Yes they are, but there is nothing noble or ferocious about a flamingo! Everyone knows I am a fan of the golden eagle.
Mistress Discipline: What about a penguin?
*Mistress walks into the kitchen as Sarah bounds out of the room shoving her face into the pudding cup before Chaos can grab it back.*
Mistress Discipline: Chaos your dress is stained and messy, have some professional decorum for a legitimate team meeting.
Dr. Chaos: A) I was always partial to the blue footed booby.
*Funaki snickers like a ten year old.*
Dr. Chaos: 2) This wasn’t meant to be a team meeting! And Thirdly: Your husband made me jump, it’s his fault.
Mistress Discipline: Like the bathroom?
Dr. Chaos: HEY SO LET’S HAVE THIS MEETING SO I CAN GO CHANGE HAHAHAHAHAHA!
*Mistress and DT roll their eyes as Funaki just sighs*
Death Trap: I didn’t sign up for a race, so it’s irrelevant, no meeting needed. I am still trying to figure out how to get my X*Crown off of Cross. Did you hear the boos and sadness in my fans, the entire arena when he stole that fast count three? Pathetic. As if the people here could ever get behind him.
Mistress Discipline: You are focusing on your other exploits again. We are supposed to achieve this together.
Death Trap: Well we can, because this isn’t a race.
Dr. Chaos: No … no it is. It’s the Sippy Cup, the CAR version of a title match. And it’s invitational. You qualified, you race. Or else bad things happen.
*DT slams his hands on the table.*
Death Trap: She’s FORCING me to race? Well … if it’s for her version of a title then obviously I need to win it.
Mistress Discipline: WE! We need to win it. This cannot be a singular achievement for you. Our wins are our triumphs, together!
Death Trap: Yes … and the team is three people. If I win driving you and Funaki ALSO win. We’re a team.
Funaki: Funaki hasn’t won anything since 2006…
Mistress Discipline: This is beneath us! We are doing this to pay back Mrs. Beahr for helping us free you from the underground cave. Eyes on the bigger prize, please. A trophy will not give us what we want!
Dr. Chaos: The trophy is a sippy cup, like toddlers could drink out of it.
Mistress Discipline: … Babies you say?
*Mistress begins to think about this.*
Death Trap: Great, another goofy thing. Ugh I don’t care about the trophy itself. Our team will be in the record books, I will have my title win back, and SURELY Memaw will NEED to send either myself or Mistress to Supremacy to be the X*Crown rep. It all falls into place. I WILL WIN THIS RACE!
Mistress Discipline: Bring home the cup and then we should work on getting ourselves someone to use said cup.
Death Trap: What? Yeah, sure no problem! I WILL WIN! I will put every one of the other racers and teammates into a bowler hat. Only the finest headwear to celebrate our victory!
*Chaos looks at them both, off in their own worlds. Funaki is now trying to steal a pudding from the fridge.*
Dr. Chaos: Sigh … yeah sure woo whatever … I’m going to change my shirt…
1. What does your crew say when they attack?
Death Trap: SUCK ON MY STYLISH FANCY HABERDASHERY YOU CLODS!
Dr. Chaos: He’s certainly gotten wordy hasn’t he?
2. What does your crew say when attacked?
Mistress Discipline: STOP DAMAGING HIM! He is important. I need him in one piece for the celebratory … after party.
3. What is your crew asking for their winter holiday of choice this year?
Funaki: SANTA SHORTBREAD COOKIES!
Death Trap: I want my X*Crown title. It’s rightfully mine. Every fan of the XHF Network SURELY asked Santa for it.
Mistress Discipline: OUR X*Crown championship.
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Death Trap: I TOLD YOU! DT is the greatest in the ring, on the mic, even behind the wheel! Nobody compares to me!
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Mistress Discipline: Chaos? What happened to nepotism for the win, huh?
Dr. Chaos: RESULTS MAY VARY! *she runs away*
Dr. Chaos: And I think I know how to get it back. Winning a race … for a cup!
*Funaki stands in the kitchen of the rental property that the Bowler Hat Brigade is currently occupying in North Carolina. Across from him is a butt. Or rather it’s a butt sticking out of a fridge. Attached to the butt is Dr. Chaos, the CAR medical expert and best friend and manager of the Bowler Hat Brigade’s Death Trap and Mistress Discipline.*
Funaki: Yes but he hasn’t signed UP for a race since October! He doesn’t care.
*Chaos pulls herself from the fridge, munching on a cup of chocolate pudding. As she pulls the spoon from her mouth she points it at Funaki … which flicks chocolate onto his cheek … he immediately curls his face in disgust.*
Dr. Chaos: OOPS! Sorry. This month isn’t voluntary. He qualified for the race so he will have to race.
*She goes for another spoon when she is startled from behind.*
Death Trap: Like hell I do!
*The spoon flies up and goes right down Chaos’s shirt.*
Dr. Chaos: …Damn it … they are ALWAYS catching things…
Funaki: DT! You got off the computer!
Death Trap: Yeah some twerp was on the DT fan club site trying to tell everyone I support flamingos for the national bird.
Sarah: … … Pink?
*Sarah creeps in and steals the pudding cup while Chaos fishes the spoon from her shirt.
Death Trap: Yes they are, but there is nothing noble or ferocious about a flamingo! Everyone knows I am a fan of the golden eagle.
Mistress Discipline: What about a penguin?
*Mistress walks into the kitchen as Sarah bounds out of the room shoving her face into the pudding cup before Chaos can grab it back.*
Mistress Discipline: Chaos your dress is stained and messy, have some professional decorum for a legitimate team meeting.
Dr. Chaos: A) I was always partial to the blue footed booby.
*Funaki snickers like a ten year old.*
Dr. Chaos: 2) This wasn’t meant to be a team meeting! And Thirdly: Your husband made me jump, it’s his fault.
Mistress Discipline: Like the bathroom?
Dr. Chaos: HEY SO LET’S HAVE THIS MEETING SO I CAN GO CHANGE HAHAHAHAHAHA!
*Mistress and DT roll their eyes as Funaki just sighs*
Death Trap: I didn’t sign up for a race, so it’s irrelevant, no meeting needed. I am still trying to figure out how to get my X*Crown off of Cross. Did you hear the boos and sadness in my fans, the entire arena when he stole that fast count three? Pathetic. As if the people here could ever get behind him.
Mistress Discipline: You are focusing on your other exploits again. We are supposed to achieve this together.
Death Trap: Well we can, because this isn’t a race.
Dr. Chaos: No … no it is. It’s the Sippy Cup, the CAR version of a title match. And it’s invitational. You qualified, you race. Or else bad things happen.
*DT slams his hands on the table.*
Death Trap: She’s FORCING me to race? Well … if it’s for her version of a title then obviously I need to win it.
Mistress Discipline: WE! We need to win it. This cannot be a singular achievement for you. Our wins are our triumphs, together!
Death Trap: Yes … and the team is three people. If I win driving you and Funaki ALSO win. We’re a team.
Funaki: Funaki hasn’t won anything since 2006…
Mistress Discipline: This is beneath us! We are doing this to pay back Mrs. Beahr for helping us free you from the underground cave. Eyes on the bigger prize, please. A trophy will not give us what we want!
Dr. Chaos: The trophy is a sippy cup, like toddlers could drink out of it.
Mistress Discipline: … Babies you say?
*Mistress begins to think about this.*
Death Trap: Great, another goofy thing. Ugh I don’t care about the trophy itself. Our team will be in the record books, I will have my title win back, and SURELY Memaw will NEED to send either myself or Mistress to Supremacy to be the X*Crown rep. It all falls into place. I WILL WIN THIS RACE!
Mistress Discipline: Bring home the cup and then we should work on getting ourselves someone to use said cup.
Death Trap: What? Yeah, sure no problem! I WILL WIN! I will put every one of the other racers and teammates into a bowler hat. Only the finest headwear to celebrate our victory!
*Chaos looks at them both, off in their own worlds. Funaki is now trying to steal a pudding from the fridge.*
Dr. Chaos: Sigh … yeah sure woo whatever … I’m going to change my shirt…
1. What does your crew say when they attack?
Death Trap: SUCK ON MY STYLISH FANCY HABERDASHERY YOU CLODS!
Dr. Chaos: He’s certainly gotten wordy hasn’t he?
2. What does your crew say when attacked?
Mistress Discipline: STOP DAMAGING HIM! He is important. I need him in one piece for the celebratory … after party.
3. What is your crew asking for their winter holiday of choice this year?
Funaki: SANTA SHORTBREAD COOKIES!
Death Trap: I want my X*Crown title. It’s rightfully mine. Every fan of the XHF Network SURELY asked Santa for it.
Mistress Discipline: OUR X*Crown championship.
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Death Trap: I TOLD YOU! DT is the greatest in the ring, on the mic, even behind the wheel! Nobody compares to me!
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Mistress Discipline: Chaos? What happened to nepotism for the win, huh?
Dr. Chaos: RESULTS MAY VARY! *she runs away*
