Post by Steve Awesome on Dec 29, 2023 23:29:14 GMT -5
We fade in on the smarmy face of Tuna Meltzer. He greets the camera with a wave and a cheesy made for basic cable smile.
“Hello and welcome back to Wrestling With the News LIVE! I am Tuna Meltzer and if you’re just joining us, we got The Face of the Franchise here in the studio!”
The camera pans over to show Steve Awesome as he throws up a peace sign and smirks into the camera.
“Sup y’all.”
“We were just talking about your movie career and what you have in store for the future.”
Steve nods his head.
“Right. So of course I am a busy man, Tuna. I have a lot of projects in the works. A sequel to Mathra! Part of my big musical kaiju productions. It’s going to be called “Mathra Two! Me plus you equals us”.
Tuna’s eyes widened in perfectly practiced amazement.
“Wow. What a great and clever title as well! What else are you working on?”
“Well I got plenty of little things here and there. And of course we got FOUR more Shitstorm movies coming out! It’s going to be a badass Tetralogy, bro!”
Steve nods his head and smiles.
“Your damn right, a Tetralogy! Nobody is doing Tetralogies bro, but we’re going to be giving that to the fans! And this story is going to be great and as a tease I’m just going to let you know it’s going to feature robots and aliens.”
“Don’t all the Shitstorm films have robots and aliens?”
“Yeah but…I mean these will….”
Steve’s excited smile changes to confusion as he thought, and slowly anger when he realizes Tuna was right.
“You know what? Shut up!”
Steve crossed his arms and slumps in his chair. Tuna notices the shift in attitude and attempts to save face.
“Okay let’s shift gears and talk about this big dream match of a title defense you have coming up for J-Rok.”
Steve shakes his head.
“First of all, it’s not a dream match. At least not for me. And secondly, I’m going to turn that gator boy into a pair of fancy shoes and use them to take his mom on a date to Applebees where she gives me an under the table “H-J” in the back booth while I watch women’s volleyball on tv.”
Tuna’s jaw drops and Steve just leans back in his chair.
“It’s not scales, she just has psoriasis. It’s fine as long you get it wet.”
Steve waves Tuna along. Tuna decided it was best not to follow up on that.
“Next question?”
“So you didn’t hear that he said you are just taking up spots from other J-Rok talent and that you don’t bleed for J-Rok.”
Steve stops to take that in. He looks over to the Hardcore title that hangs over his shoulder. He slowly shook his head.
“What an idiot….you know what, Tuna I’m going to take things over for a bit. So shut up and get out of my shot.”[/b]
He shoves Tuna backward and the dirtsheet writer flips out of his chair and off set.
“Bring that camera over here. Graphics peoples…give me a title graphic!”
STEVE AWESOME
Very Demanding
We see the Hardcore Face of the Franchise sitting in a chair on the Meltzer set. He’s glaring into the camera from behind his designer sunglasses. His hardcore title hung over his shoulder.
“Well you done it now….you gone and done a big mistake.”
His look of focused anger doesn’t waiver as he continues.
“And I can’t allow, for you to think you can just walk away…”
Steve slowly shook his head.
“FLORIDA MAN!”
He shouts.
“You scaly, sleazy, no good, piece of trailer park swamp trash!”
He ran a palm through his hair.
“You went and pissed me off!”
He gets up out his chair and throws it across set and it nearly hits Tuna as it slams into the wall.
“See…”
He stomps closer toward the camera.
“I could let go of a lot of things and just add it all to the “because your an idiot column”. Like me having easy opponents or that I’m taking away spots from hungry J-Rok competitors.”
Steve shakes his head.
“Nah man, if you can’t see that nobody would even know who people like Rin Kubo or zolothatch even are without me strapping this entire Hardcore division onto my back and CREATING a spot for any J-Rok star to shine and even anyone on the entire network to shine like Kasper Van Zant. That’s fifteen times where I brought J-Rok and a young J-Rok star a huge payday. And all anyone has to do is just sign their name on a list.”
He nodded his head.
“Yeah, it’s that easy.”
“And now here I am, getting Florida Man paid double on the biggest pay per view in J-Rok’s calendar and IM the one whose taking away hard earned opportunities away from the young stars.”
Steve shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders.
“If Flo doesn’t want to thank me for making this a big opportunity for him then I don’t really care.”
He shrugs his shoulders.
“But what really pissed me off, Is the I don’t bleed for J-Rok, comment.”
He attempts to slow his breathing down and calm himself.
“It really bugged me because to be honest it’s only half true but for all the wrong reasons.”
Steve shifts his Hardcore Title to his other shoulder as he goes on.
“I am sick to death of hearing that I don’t bleed.”
He glares into the camera.
“I am sick to death of hearing that I don’t care about J-Rok and that I’m just here to hold a title. I’m here every month, I’m stepping into whatever deathmatch creation they want me to fight in and I walk in willing to bleed, each and every single time!”
“I’m willing to put my livelihood on the line. If they mess up my face, then I can’t make movies, but I’m still willing to walk into those Japanese arenas and risk getting cut and stabbed and things exploding in my face, every single time they book me.”
“Meanwhile, you're out there willing to put in the work anywhere BUT J-Rok because your all butt hurt that Kira and the gang don’t want to book you into their digital media arts championship or whatever the hell it's supposed to be called.”
He chuckled a bit.
“You know what’s funny? At the very first Raison D’etre back in two thousand twenty I lost a loser leaves J-Rok match against Yuki Sakaraba. But now hear I am at the fourth one three years later, and your gator neck is on the chopping block and you know why?”
Steve smirks and dusts off his shoulders.
“Because I know how to do business.”
He said. Doubling down on things he’s said before.
“I’m not a pain in the ass to work with. I’m not a poison to the locker room. And unlike you Flo, I know how to take what I’m given and make it the main event, instead of bitching and moaning that you're not given the main event.”
Steve sneers and leans into the camera.
“I hope Kira sends you packing on night one so that on night two you get one last taste of the main event and then I can personally throw you out on your ass.”
He does a quick crotch chop and continues.
“But on Night Two, Florida Man, you are going to find out exactly how much I’m willing to fight, how far I’m willing to go, how much im willing to bleed as soon as that bell rings and the Winter Wonderland Deathmatch begins.”
He holds up a lone index finger.
“But here's where you got it right.”
He shook his head.
“I don’t do it for J-Rok.”
He said boldly.
“Sure the company benefits from me appearing on there shows, but I’m not out there going through glass panels and getting hung up on barbed wire because I love J-Rok or because I owe Kira buckets of my blood.”
He points to himself.
“I do it for me.”
And he points to his championship.
“And I do it for this.”
He steps forward and pats his chest and the title belt.
“I bleed and risk it all for myself and the Hardcore Title. I bleed to bring this championship into the main event level. I know that each and every drop of blood that falls out of my perfect scalp just adds to the foundation of my legacy.
He holds his arms out wide.
“Flo, you think this is the end. This is your big moment. You are gonna stop my legacy.”
He shook his head and smiled.
“Nah man, i'm only getting started.”
“And after I get through with you Florida Man, my girl Zelda is going to love you after I turn you into a purse.
He waves.
“After while, crocodile….”
Crotch chop.
Fade.
“Hello and welcome back to Wrestling With the News LIVE! I am Tuna Meltzer and if you’re just joining us, we got The Face of the Franchise here in the studio!”
The camera pans over to show Steve Awesome as he throws up a peace sign and smirks into the camera.
“Sup y’all.”
“We were just talking about your movie career and what you have in store for the future.”
Steve nods his head.
“Right. So of course I am a busy man, Tuna. I have a lot of projects in the works. A sequel to Mathra! Part of my big musical kaiju productions. It’s going to be called “Mathra Two! Me plus you equals us”.
Tuna’s eyes widened in perfectly practiced amazement.
“Wow. What a great and clever title as well! What else are you working on?”
“Well I got plenty of little things here and there. And of course we got FOUR more Shitstorm movies coming out! It’s going to be a badass Tetralogy, bro!”
Steve nods his head and smiles.
“Your damn right, a Tetralogy! Nobody is doing Tetralogies bro, but we’re going to be giving that to the fans! And this story is going to be great and as a tease I’m just going to let you know it’s going to feature robots and aliens.”
“Don’t all the Shitstorm films have robots and aliens?”
“Yeah but…I mean these will….”
Steve’s excited smile changes to confusion as he thought, and slowly anger when he realizes Tuna was right.
“You know what? Shut up!”
Steve crossed his arms and slumps in his chair. Tuna notices the shift in attitude and attempts to save face.
“Okay let’s shift gears and talk about this big dream match of a title defense you have coming up for J-Rok.”
Steve shakes his head.
“First of all, it’s not a dream match. At least not for me. And secondly, I’m going to turn that gator boy into a pair of fancy shoes and use them to take his mom on a date to Applebees where she gives me an under the table “H-J” in the back booth while I watch women’s volleyball on tv.”
Tuna’s jaw drops and Steve just leans back in his chair.
“It’s not scales, she just has psoriasis. It’s fine as long you get it wet.”
Steve waves Tuna along. Tuna decided it was best not to follow up on that.
“Next question?”
“So you didn’t hear that he said you are just taking up spots from other J-Rok talent and that you don’t bleed for J-Rok.”
Steve stops to take that in. He looks over to the Hardcore title that hangs over his shoulder. He slowly shook his head.
“What an idiot….you know what, Tuna I’m going to take things over for a bit. So shut up and get out of my shot.”[/b]
He shoves Tuna backward and the dirtsheet writer flips out of his chair and off set.
“Bring that camera over here. Graphics peoples…give me a title graphic!”
STEVE AWESOME
Very Demanding
We see the Hardcore Face of the Franchise sitting in a chair on the Meltzer set. He’s glaring into the camera from behind his designer sunglasses. His hardcore title hung over his shoulder.
“Well you done it now….you gone and done a big mistake.”
His look of focused anger doesn’t waiver as he continues.
“And I can’t allow, for you to think you can just walk away…”
Steve slowly shook his head.
“FLORIDA MAN!”
He shouts.
“You scaly, sleazy, no good, piece of trailer park swamp trash!”
He ran a palm through his hair.
“You went and pissed me off!”
He gets up out his chair and throws it across set and it nearly hits Tuna as it slams into the wall.
“See…”
He stomps closer toward the camera.
“I could let go of a lot of things and just add it all to the “because your an idiot column”. Like me having easy opponents or that I’m taking away spots from hungry J-Rok competitors.”
Steve shakes his head.
“Nah man, if you can’t see that nobody would even know who people like Rin Kubo or zolothatch even are without me strapping this entire Hardcore division onto my back and CREATING a spot for any J-Rok star to shine and even anyone on the entire network to shine like Kasper Van Zant. That’s fifteen times where I brought J-Rok and a young J-Rok star a huge payday. And all anyone has to do is just sign their name on a list.”
He nodded his head.
“Yeah, it’s that easy.”
“And now here I am, getting Florida Man paid double on the biggest pay per view in J-Rok’s calendar and IM the one whose taking away hard earned opportunities away from the young stars.”
Steve shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders.
“If Flo doesn’t want to thank me for making this a big opportunity for him then I don’t really care.”
He shrugs his shoulders.
“But what really pissed me off, Is the I don’t bleed for J-Rok, comment.”
He attempts to slow his breathing down and calm himself.
“It really bugged me because to be honest it’s only half true but for all the wrong reasons.”
Steve shifts his Hardcore Title to his other shoulder as he goes on.
“I am sick to death of hearing that I don’t bleed.”
He glares into the camera.
“I am sick to death of hearing that I don’t care about J-Rok and that I’m just here to hold a title. I’m here every month, I’m stepping into whatever deathmatch creation they want me to fight in and I walk in willing to bleed, each and every single time!”
“I’m willing to put my livelihood on the line. If they mess up my face, then I can’t make movies, but I’m still willing to walk into those Japanese arenas and risk getting cut and stabbed and things exploding in my face, every single time they book me.”
“Meanwhile, you're out there willing to put in the work anywhere BUT J-Rok because your all butt hurt that Kira and the gang don’t want to book you into their digital media arts championship or whatever the hell it's supposed to be called.”
He chuckled a bit.
“You know what’s funny? At the very first Raison D’etre back in two thousand twenty I lost a loser leaves J-Rok match against Yuki Sakaraba. But now hear I am at the fourth one three years later, and your gator neck is on the chopping block and you know why?”
Steve smirks and dusts off his shoulders.
“Because I know how to do business.”
He said. Doubling down on things he’s said before.
“I’m not a pain in the ass to work with. I’m not a poison to the locker room. And unlike you Flo, I know how to take what I’m given and make it the main event, instead of bitching and moaning that you're not given the main event.”
Steve sneers and leans into the camera.
“I hope Kira sends you packing on night one so that on night two you get one last taste of the main event and then I can personally throw you out on your ass.”
He does a quick crotch chop and continues.
“But on Night Two, Florida Man, you are going to find out exactly how much I’m willing to fight, how far I’m willing to go, how much im willing to bleed as soon as that bell rings and the Winter Wonderland Deathmatch begins.”
He holds up a lone index finger.
“But here's where you got it right.”
He shook his head.
“I don’t do it for J-Rok.”
He said boldly.
“Sure the company benefits from me appearing on there shows, but I’m not out there going through glass panels and getting hung up on barbed wire because I love J-Rok or because I owe Kira buckets of my blood.”
He points to himself.
“I do it for me.”
And he points to his championship.
“And I do it for this.”
He steps forward and pats his chest and the title belt.
“I bleed and risk it all for myself and the Hardcore Title. I bleed to bring this championship into the main event level. I know that each and every drop of blood that falls out of my perfect scalp just adds to the foundation of my legacy.
He holds his arms out wide.
“Flo, you think this is the end. This is your big moment. You are gonna stop my legacy.”
He shook his head and smiled.
“Nah man, i'm only getting started.”
“And after I get through with you Florida Man, my girl Zelda is going to love you after I turn you into a purse.
He waves.
“After while, crocodile….”
Crotch chop.
Fade.