New Years' Brawl 24

[Mr. Blood]

(Katie Moss arrives at the Dark Stars dressing room and encounters Terminatrix, who is outside guarding the door with her weapon on the ready.)

Katie Moss: Are The Dark Stars still in their dressing room?"

Terminatrix: "I shall inform them that you are here."

(She enters the dressing room and Katie hears a brief conversation before Terminatrix holds the door open for her to enter."

Terminatrix: "You may enter."

(Katie enters and the door closes behind her.)

Commandrix: "Welcome Katie."

Katie Moss: "Thanks. I see Terminatrix is guarding the door as usual."

Commandrix: "She is quite lethal to those who are known intruders. So I guess you are here to interview us."

Katie Moss: "Yes I am."

Commandrix: "We were expecting you sooner, but we aren't complaining like other individuals would when an interviewer is late."

Katie Moss: "I know what you mean."

Commandrix: "Of course."

Katie Moss: "The Dark Stars have a triple threat match for a possible championship shot. Yet they seemed to be out of focused and distant for the past few shows."

Commandrix: "You're right, Katie. It seems The Dark Stars have been a bit unfocused and and as you say a bit distant. Yet I have been reminding them of who they are and what they are with discipline and hard training to refocus them again and see their killer instincts. Tonight they shall return to their original murderous instinct that made them feared throughout Wrestle: UK and the AWF."

(Katie Moss: "You know one of their opponents is Salt and Pepper and the other is Bird & Bull."

Niko: "First of all Katie Moss. We have plenty of scores to settle with Salt and Pepper and we plan on literally settle our issues with them. They cost us chances at our rightful championships...The Wrestle: UK World Tag Team Championships and we have no intention of letting them cost us again."

Kono: "You see Katie Moss. Nothing is over until we say it's over and until we put Salt and Pepper in their places, which is the back of the line as the people of this world say when referring to someone they plan on dealing with. We shall make sure that they are dealt with and we shall make sure they don't ever interfere or even get in our way."

Katie Moss: "You sound like you aren't focused entirely on this match."

Commandrix: "What they meant was they are ready and they are focused. They have no intention of losing focus Katie. They know they have to revive that killer and murderous instinct that made them one of the most feared teams in Wrestle: UK and they shall unleash anger and fury never seen in any tag team in quite a while."

Katie Moss: "What about Bull and Bird since they are newcomers to Wrestle: UK."

Commandrix: "We haven't forgotten about Bull & Bird. They are newcomers and unknown factors in this Triple Threat Match Katie. Yet that's what The Dark Stars thrive on and that's unknown factors and this match is no exception to that rule."

Niko: "She's right Katie. We don't care if you are a newcomer or a veteran team or if they were put together at the last minute just to face us as a tag team. What truly matters is that we have opponents in the ring and that's all that we care about."

Katie Moss: "You know it's a tornado style match."

Kono: "That makes it even more satisfying, because we crave and thrive on that kind of battle. We crave and thrive on that kind of war in the ring and we don't care about rules or even who we get to beat down. There's only one thing we care about and that's the result and The Dark Stars being declared the winners and The referee holding our arms up and the ring announcer declaring The Dark Stars the top contenders for the Wrestle: UK World Tag Team Champions."

Niko: "Anything less than that will be not acceptable4. The Dark Stars are going out their and we are going to go to any length and we mean any length to win but even further and we are going to show everyone why we are the true tag team contenders and why we are going to be the future Wrestle: UK World Tag Team Champions."

Commandrix: "When the night is over in Cornwall Katie Moss. The Dark Stars shall be shining over the night skies and they shall be proving why they never lost the championships in the first place since the previous champions ran away like cowards. Unlike The Dark Stars who stay loyal to their promotion and defend it's honor. Tonight everyone shall see why. Let's go and conduct our business."

(The Dark Stars and Commandrix leave with Terminatrix as Katie Moss stares at them.)

Katie Moss: "It seems that The Dark Stars are focused and disciplined, but we'll see what happens and what their intentions are which seemed to be quite bad intentions. Back to you."

(The scene slowly fades to black.)

Match: Julius Fristik vs. Preston Andre Reese

Salazar: The following contest is scheduled for one fal!! Entering the ring at this time at 223 pounds! He is the Calgary Son! This is JULIUS FRISTIK!

The NPW faithful are on their feet as the son of the NPW legend is announced.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKpFE2A1lUE

Drums beating slowly, the lights in the arena dim, and two white lickers flicker with the sound of the drums. “My Hands are Empty” by Machine Head roars through the arena as the drums and background music grows louder, fans joining in by pounding their chests or stomping their feet in unison. The lights shook on and off, before finally spotlighting the scruffy brown haired man wearing a black jacket and black tights with white trim around the waist and the wings on the outer legs of the tights. Sporting white boots with kick pads that go from the foot to his knee pad. Julius stops at the top of the ramp and puts out his right hand so the palm is facing out, before pointing to it with his free hand’s index finger, saying ‘You know what’s coming’ at the camera before walking to the ring. Taking a stroll around the ringside area, the beating drums of his theme song syncing with the fans pounding and stomping rhythm until finally Julius takes the steps up onto the apron, centering the ring. A pose where his legs are wide and he brings his hand up to his forehead, scanning the audience once over before stepping through the ropes and hitting the turnbuckle for a better look. Jumping down, Julius stretches his back on the ropes and takes to his corner as the music fades out and the lights return to normal.

Tucker: Fristik looking good here for his debut, and already he has run afoul of the High Roller’s Club!

Fulton: You mean when he accused them of sabotaging him?

Julius rolled inside of the ring, nodding to the fans as he tested the ropes. Then he glared towards the back, motioning for his opponent to show his face.

youtu.be/A80MkpiMHVI

The one and only Preston Andre Reese stepped from back, kneeling down with his arms spread as the pyros hit with a few loud pops. A shower of sparks fell across the Padding-tron as he laughed and grinned at the fans mockingly. Then he rose, and undid his coat before he jabbed a finger at the ring.

Warrick steps out behind him, the big man frowning as he falls into step behind him.

Salazar: His opponent representing the High Roller’s Club, fighting out of Los Angeles, California at 225 pounds! He is PRESTON ANDRE REESE!

Reese handed his coat to Warrick before he climbed the stairs with a sneer at the booing fans. Fristik urged him on, and Reese laughed as he stepped between the ropes. The two faced off before the ref drew back as he called for the bell.

Reese mocked Fristik by spreading his arms wide before calling for a lock up! The two strained back and forth, but Julius soon got the upper hand. He forced Reese into the ropes, and the ref called for a break which Juluis gave him.

And Reese slapped him hard across the face!

Fulton: Yes! Take that!

Torchwood: Reese taking a cheap shot, and I don’t think Juluis liked it!

Tucker: Typical.

Julius grabbed Reese again, yanking on his head before he flung him across the ring. Reese came off the ropes hard, and Juluis delivers a brutal looking clothesline that sends him sprawling. The fans cheer, and Fristik hits him with a spinning neckbreaker as he starts to rise! The fans cheer, and Reese drops as he grabs at his neck.

Fulton: Where is the ref!

Tucker: For what?

Reese starts to rise, shaking his head before Julius comes in to start delivering stiff forearms to his head. He batters away at the Golden Boy of the High Roller’s Club, and he locks up going for the Brainbuster! But Reese escapes, rolling behind Julius to lock on a sleeper hold!

The fans boo, and Reese tightens the hold.

Torchwood: Reese trying to slow this one down, and get some of the momentum off of the Calgary Kid!

Fulton: Putting him to sleep would be a mercy killing!

The fans jeer as Fristik wobbles, and the ref checks on him. He shakes his head, and reaches for the ropes but Reese is holding him back. Then he starts to fire stiff elbows back, battering at Reese before he finally breaks the hold! Fristik grabs him, snapping him at the ropes!

Reese comes off the ropes with the PRESTON CUTTER!

Tucker: No!

The fans in Halifax are furious, jeering as Reese claps his own back before lazily making the cover.

1….

….2….

……

…….KICKOUT!

Fulton: Slow count!

Torchwood: Reese almost stole one here in Halifax! But that was a lazy cover!

Tucker: A lazy cover by that arrogant prick, never!

Reese swore at the ref, holding up three fingers before he dragged Fristik upwards. He starts delivering hard chops across the chest of the Pegasus Kid. He was battering away at him, the sound of those hard blows filling the air as he rocked him backwards into the ropes. He delivers a quick DDT!

Fristik is down, and Reese mocks the fans as he walks back and forth before he turns to watch as the man rises. He bounces off the ropes to deliver Hammer Bay (Springboard Bionic Elbow)! Fristik drops again, and the fans boo!

Reese drives a few kicks into his leg, stomping away at his knees before he locks on the Figure Four! Julius hammers at the mat, grabbing for the ropes as Reese pulls back on his leg, ripping and tearing as Halifax jeers!

Juluis lunges for the ropes, but Warrick pulls them away!

Tucker: That son of a bitch!

Fulton: I didn’t see anything!

The fans did, and they are furious as Juluis grabs for the ropes once more only for Warrick to pull them away again. The ref looks suspicious, and starts to question Warrick before Reese breaks the hold to argue with him.

Then he grabs for Fristik, but then…

PAYLAY KICK!

Torchwood: Fristik is back in this!

Reese stumbles back, and Julius stumbles before he grabs Reese to deliver a snap suplex! The fans explode, and Fristik flips off Warrick before he jerks Reese back to his feet. He hits the rope and delivers the Angel Kick to the rising Reese!

Tucker: Reese is in trouble now!

Fulton: Please!

The fans are eating it up as Julius climbs the ringpost, and hits the Faith No More!


Torchwood: Fristik going for the kill!

Fulton: No! NO!

Tucker: Cover!

1….

….2…..

……The ref is ripped from the ring, and tossed into the barricade!

Halifax is on it’s feet, booing and jeering as Warrick smirks at Julius as he shrugs. And the Calgary Kid is on his feet, fuming as he points and curses at the smirking Enforcer. Warrick laughs, and Julius drops back before he charges across the ring!

SUICIDE DIVE!

The place explodes, and Warrick is down before Julius stomps away at him before he flings him hard into the ring stairs. He rolls back inside, and stalks towards the rising Reese who suddenly moves aside before he drives a stiff kick below the belt!

Tucker: Not like this! No!

STARKILLER!

Fristik is out cold, and Reese makes the cover as the battered Warrick flings the barely recovered ref back inside as Halifax is cursing and booing.

1….

…..2….

……

…….THREE!

Fulton: The Good Guys win!

Tucker: You son of a bitch!


Reese rolls from the ring, Warrick lifting his arm high as Reese laughs leaning back against him like a battered blonde Rocky. Julius glares at them from inside the ring, clearly ready for revenge as he pushes himself into the corner.

Salazar: Your winner Preston Andre Reese!

Tucker: After he cheated and had help from his henchmen!

Fulton: W’s and L’s, Tucker!

Match:The Dark Stars vs. The Bull & The Bird vs. Salt & Pepper

Triple Threat Tornado Tag for the Tag Team Championship Number One Contender

Salazar: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and will be fought under Tornado tag rules! Entering first weighing in at 511 pounds from Cedar Creek, Louisiana! They are Bull and Bird!

The fans boo, as Out of Exile plays and the two brothers simply march out from the back, down the ramp, and into the ring with nothing more than glaring stares. They pace back and forth, Bird glaring at the fans as his brother leans hard on the ropes.

Tucker: Bull and Bird clearly under the spell of their uncle. And looking to bring gold back to the Drexel clan.

Fulton: Bull and Bird forced this match when they picked fights with two of the most dominant teams in Wrestle:UK! And I love it, they are calling their shot!

‘Become the Martyr’ blasts over the arena, and Salazar lifts the mic.

Salazar: An their opponents, representing the Kingdom of Failure! Weighing in at 260 pounds, they are SALT & Pepper!

Whatever joy or life that was inside tonight's audience seems to grind to a halt as the slowness of this song appears to drain the life out of the crowd as two complete nobodies appear on stage. These nobodies, a pair of women, are Maxine Salt and Pepper Hutchinson as they look at each other for a moment, fist bump each other and begin to head down the ramp way. Without acknowledging the crowd around them they reach ringside, roll under the bottom rope together and get up before facing the hardcam and lifting both fists up in the air. They even stood still for a few seconds before going to the ropes furthest away from the ring and sit on the bottom rope together as they stare up towards the stage.

Torchwood: When Salt and Pepper are on their game, they are one of the most dangerous teams in WUK! They could be spoilers here tonight in Halifax!

Fulton: These are my pick right here!

Tucker: Surprise.

The Tron shows a dying star that explodes and two spinning graphics that turn into The Dark Stars as "Sixes and Sevens" by Annihilator plays and The Dark Stars enter and come to ringside marching with purpose accompanied by The Dark Novas through lasers shooting upwards. They have intense and ominous and murderous expressions on their faces. They hold the ropes open as The Dark Novas enter the ring and are joined by Niko in the center of the ring while Kono mount the top turnbuckle and they roar as they shot their weapons up and Kono backflips off the turnbuckle into a fighting crouch as lasers shoot upwards from the ringposts. The Dark Stars remove their futuristic gladiator armor and place their weapons in their corner as Commandrix gives final instructions the same intense and ominous and murderous looks still on their faces

Salazar: Entering the ring at this time from the other side of the Galaxy at 450 pounds! They are Kono and Niko! They are the DARKSTARS!


Tucker: One of the most decorated teams in Wrestle UK if not the entire XHF, the Dark Stars are not amused by either one of these teams!

Torchwood: The X factor in this match is Commandrix, there is no telling what the leader of the Dark Stars will do to achieve victory!

Kono and Niko glare at the other two teams as Commandrix speaks to them from the apron, and the head WUK official Eric Praline calls for the bell. Salt and Pepper charge in with Bull and Bird, battering away at Niko and Kono! The fans jeer, and each team is laying one of the Dark Stars to waste!

Tucker: Both teams looking to eliminate the Dark Stars in the early going!

Fulton: Commandrix is furious!

Grant Van Zant grabs Kono, battering away at him with heavy blows across his back beore he yells something to his brother. He fires him into the ropes, and Joaquin levels him with a flying discus on the rebound! ‘
‘
Kono is sent sprawling, and rolls to the outside.

The pair go after him!

Torchwood: Divide and conquer seems to the name of the game! But it could backfire if Salt and Pepper steal one on Niko!

Niko has been driven into the corner, and Salt and Pepper are taking turns running at him. They are battering him down one after the other, before Salt grabs him with a scream to deliver the Manx Bomb!

Tucker: Maxine Salt with surprising power! Niko is off his feet!

Maxine smirks, posing for the fans before she points at the turnbuckle with a few quick nods. Pepper nods, grinning as she leaps to the top of the ringpost as she looks to put Niko away! But Commandrix leaps onto the apron, and shoves her off!

Salt curses, and runs at Commandrix. The pair throwing punches across the ropes.

Fulton: What was that! That was blatant interference! Where’s the referee!

Tucker: No DQ under tornado rules!

Fulton: Typical!

The fans are going wild as Salt grabs Commandrix, and runs her head at the turnbuckle. And then she turns to be leveled with a brutal clothesline from Niko! The fans explode, and Niko scoops her up for a hard slam!

Torchwood: Niko all business!

Fulton: This is a disgrace!

Niko drags her to her feet, and hits a quick suplex before he makes a cover!

1….

…..2…

……Joaquin Van Zant breaks it up!

Tucker: That was a close one!

Torchwood: Salt and Commandrix still brawling on the outside!

Joaquin is stomping away at Niko, jerking him to his feet to batter a few hard elbows into his back. He smirks, laughing wildly before he snaps him at the rope! SPINNING BACKFIST!

Niko is down, and Joaquin leaps onto the ropes as the fans boo. He points down at Niko, laughing and nodding before he comes off with the CAJUN ON THE MOON!

PEPPER OUT OF NOWHERE WITH THE HEARTBREAK KICK!

The fans explode, and Joaquin drops in a heap sprawled across the middle rope! Pepper looks around, nodding before she hits the ropes to charge across the ring!

TIGER FEINT KICK!

Fulton: YES! YES!

Torchwood: Pepper wasting no time!

COVER!

1….

…..2….

……KICKOUT!

Tucker: So close!

Pepper hits the mat, shaking her head at Praline as she comes to her feet. And Kono levels her with a clothesline, he looks around the ring before he checks on Niko. Then the Dark Stars turn their attention to Grant Van Zant as the big man climbs into the ring. They batter away at him, driving knees into his sides and ribs.

Kono scoops him up, running at the corner to level him with Snake Eyes!

KONO DRIVER!

The fans explode, and Grant is down as Niko locks on the Rings of Pain!

Torchwood: Grant in trouble!

Grant grabs for the ropes, shaking his head as he is yanked backwards. The fans are going crazy in Halifax, and Kono starts trading shots with Joaquin as he tries to save his brother. The pair are going back and forth, and then Pepper comes off the ropes with a crossbody!

Niko yanks back again, and Grant’s hand hovers above the mat before Niko is leveled with a chair from Maxine Salt!

The fans groan!

Fulton: Maxine Salt with the save! The MVP of the WUK Tag Team Division!

Tucker: Simp!

Torchwood: Lads!

Salt yells to Pepper, and flings aside the chair before they hit the SALT AND PEPPER SHAKER!

Jaoquin levels Pepper with a lariat! And Salt runs at him, hitting the Heartbreak Kick! The fans cheer, and Grant is on his feet. He shakes his head, holding his arm before he grabs the dazed Niko!

He calls for the VAN DESTRUCTION! But shakes his head as his arm seems to be injured, he shakes his head as he rubs at his shoulder. Then he grabs for him once more, and starts to lift him!

CHOP BLOCK FROM KONO!


Tucker: The Dark Stars will not be denied in Halifax!

An ‘NPW!’ chant starts, and Kono grabs Grant to fling him hard into the ringpost! The bigger Drexel falls to the outside, laying in a broken heap as he holds at his arm. Joquin charges in, but Kono ducks him before he hits flings him into the ropes!

MUAY THAI KNEES ON THE REBOUND!

He grabs him, holding him straight in the air as he calls for the Jackhammer! Niko leaps onto the ropes, and comes off with a lionsault!

STARKILLER!

Torchwood: Joaquin Drexel broken in half!

Niko with the cover, and Kono levels Pepper with a clothesline as she runs in!

1….

……2….

……Salt dives across the ring, screaming before she is ripped backwards by the furious Commandrix!

……THREE!

Salazar: Your winners THE DARK STARS!

Archie Rude: That was alot of fun in that tag match for the number one contendership, but without your continued support! Without your donations? We may never see Disney’s Own Marty Donovan inside a ring again!

The phones rang in the background, and Rude nodded as he contnued.

Archie Rude: Where would Wrestle:UK be without Marty? No matter more Marty and Crane team ups? No more Epcott Mafia? With your monthly support we can continue to bring Disney’s Own Marty Donovan to your screens!

Won’t you donate now?

[Mr. Blood]

(The tron shows Psychotic Goth and Vampira as he is holding his weapon in purple velvet string bag.)

Vampira: "Kira Izumi. You are all that you say you are and more but Psychotic Goth doesn't care, because tonight 'The Dragon of Wrestle: UK' shall show you how sadistic and cruel he can be as well."

Psychotic Goth: "Kira Izumi. You are a well known sadistic wrestler and you can be as cruel and ruthless as anyone in the XHF. Yet you haven't encountered someone just as cruel and ruthless as I am. You see Kira I seen it all and been in all kinds of battles and I've spilled plenty of blood. I know you have done so too as both a competitor and as the owner of JROK. I know you have the reputation for inventing some of the most sadistic matches in your area."

(He roars like a beast.)

Psychotic Goth: "Tonight you and I are going to compete for this......"

(He caresses his weapon that's in the purple velvet bag that shall be suspended from a pole.)

Psychotic Goth: "This beauty shall be suspended like a pole awaiting the winner who shall take it and use it to decimate the loser. She's quite anxious to taste the blood and flesh of whoever is vanquished after the three count or submission."

(Psychotic Goth looks lovingly at it as if it's alive.)

Psychotic Goth: "Isn't that right....Of course it is...."

(He laughs evilly.)

Psychotic Goth: "You see Kira I'm unstable and you know what that is don't you. The mask you wear is one part of you and the other part of you is normal which is the true you. I, on the other hand, am who I am and shall always be my true self. I am this way all the time. I am always dark and ominous and always enjoying the pain and agony when I'm in the ring or training for matches. It's my rush and I know you and I shall bring all the pain and agony and all the sadistic violence and blood that comes with it as long as we destroy each other for this weapon that I gave birth from the darkest reaches of my mind."

(Psychotic Goth roars like a berserker.)

Psychotic Goth: "Believe me Kira I can be very creative and what comes from my sick and twisted brain. You and anyone else who faces me don't even know it or even can come close to creating such weapons I can make with my hands from my dark and sinister brain."

(He laughs sadistically.)

Psychotic Goth: "Then again why would think of me any differently as I would think any differently of you. As long as no one interferes with our match we can destroy each other as mush as we want in anyway we want to as long as one of us ends the match with this weapon."

(He lowers his head and raises his arms and flings his head back revealing his pale handsome goth like looks.)

Psychotic Goth: "Tonight Kira Izumi you shall be facing someone who is like a doppleganger of yours. Someone who is as sadistic and cruel you are and has no fear of delivering or receiving pain and punishment as long as a victory is achieved. Tonight you and I shall have a bloodbath of a war and we shall see who gets this prize that I am holding in this purple velvet bag. Who shall tell the story of how it was achieved and the blood that was spilled achieving it. Tonight we shall see. Thus I have spoken and thus we shall both see the words come true."

(The scene slowly fades to black.)

Match: Cheez vs. SZK

Salazar: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Entering the ring first from Madison, Wisconsin at 185 pounds! He is the man they call Cheez!

Cheez, nervously poked his head out of the curtain, before tucking in back in. Suddenly the crowd begins to chant his name, before the camera shows him amongst the fans in crowd, hi-fiving them as he jumps the guardrail and smiles at camera, before sliding into the ring. The fans are on their feet in Halifax for Cheez!

Fulton: Figures these losers in Halifax back Cheez!

Tucker: You know what Cheez might not be a rich multi-millionaire built like a Greek God, but at least he is not a miserable self serving prick like your boys!

Fulton: How dare you!

Salazar: And his opponent fighting out of the High Roller’s Club at 215 pounds, accompanied to the ring by Warrick! This is SZK!

‘We be Clubbin’ ‘ thundered across the arena as SZK walked from the back with his hood pulled up on his black silk boxing robe. Pyros hit behind him as Warrick nodded, frowning at the ring before SZK fired off a few punches. And then the pair stomped down the ramp as the fans booed.

SZK rolled inside, and Warrick glared at Cheez.

Tucker: Warrick has no business out here!

Fulton: He is out here to represent High Roller’s business!

The fans boo, and SZK flings off his robe before he steps up to Cheez. He grins, mocking him as he presses his face close to Cheez’s. The YouTuber presses in, frowning as SZK steps back to spread his arms wide as the bell rings!

Torchwood: SZK offering Cheez a free shot!

Fulton: Yeah, well what is he going to do?

Cheez threw a punch and another, and he started to unload on SZK! The fans explode, and SZK stumbles back as Cheez keeps firing off. He rocks him back into the corner, and he drops back before he runs in for the KAMIKAZE SQUIRREL!

SZK sags against the ropes, shaking his head.

Fulton: This is bullshit!

Tucker: Maybe SZK shouldn’t underestimate Cheez!

The fans are going wild, chanting for Cheez as SZK shakes his head leaning on the ropes. Cheez fires off a dropkick, and SZK is off his feet! He rolls to the outside, shaking his head as he staggers around with a frown. Warrick steps in, speaking with him as the ref restrains Cheez.

Cheez pushes him aside, and runs back before he vaults between the ropes to send both High Rollers back.

Torchwood: Cheez came to Halifax looking for a fight!


Fulton: He’s going to get a beating!

Cheez goes after Warrick, ignoring the referee as he goes after the Enforcer of the Club. The fans urging him on, and then SZK grabs him to hit a back drop on the barricade! The fans groan as Cheez rolls around in pain, and Warrick backs off.

SZK grabs Cheez, and talks trash before he flings him inside the ring.

Torchwood: Cheez in trouble bow, SZK is one of the best strikers in the game! And a master of the Strong Style!

The fans boo as SZK starts dropping knees into the ribs of the rising Cheez, battering away at him before he lifts him upwards to drop him across his knee a few times. Cheez holds his stomach, shaking his head as he struggles to rise. SZK is on him, firing off elbows before he flings him into the ropes!

SPINEBUSTER!

Fulton: YESSIR!

Tucker: You’re disgusting!

Warrick nods with approval as SZK makes the cover!

1….

….2….

……KICKOUT!

Fulton: Cheez should have stayed down!

SZK grabs Cheez, locking his arms around his chin as he yanks his head back. A knee buried in between his shoulders, applying pressure as he Cheez struggles to get his feet under him. The fans urge him on, and then Cheez starts to rise!

Tucker: Cheez fighting through the pain! He is not backing down!

SZK breaks the hold, and hammers a few quick elbows into the back of Cheez! The fans boo, and he grabs him to deliver another huge backdrop! The fans boo, and Cheez grabs at his back before SZK hauls him upwards!

ANOTHER!

The fans groan, and SZK stomps at his back before he locks on a single leg boston crab!

Tucker: SZK just punishing Cheez!

Torchwood: Cheez has been a thorn in the side of the High Roller’s Club for months! This is about sending a message!

Fulton: Cheez claims to be a genius, but he is not getting it!

SZK wrenches back on that leg, pulling it upwards as Cheez arches as he claws at the mat! The fans are urging Cheez on, and he shakes his head at the ref as he pulls himself towards the ropes! He hauls back again, yanking on that leg as the pressure increases as Cheez grabs for the ropes!

But Warrick pull them back!

Tucker: What in the hell! This is ridiculous!

Cheez grabs again as the ref argues with SZK, and Warrick again pulls on the ropes! The fans jeer, and Cheez snarls as he is dragged backwards. The fans are booing and Cheez grabs again, and this time the ref turns and yells at Warrick.

Warrick holds up his hands, shaking his head as the ref calls for the break!

Tucker: Warrick should be ejected!

Fulton: For what?

The fans are furious as SZK argues with the ref about the count, not breaking the hold! And Cheez is clearly in pain, but the hold is finally broken as SZK argues with the ref still pushing him back as he yells and gestures.

Warrick slaps Cheez across the face, and chokes him only to draw back as the ref turns!

Tucker: The HRC claims to not be scared of Cheez, but they send Warrick out here to interfere! They call in SZK from Japan to attack him!

Torchwood: Cheez in trouble!

Fulton: I wish they would deal with Tucker next!

SZK drags Cheez to his feet, and smirks before he hits with a BACK-SPOLDER! Cheez is in a heap, and SZK drops a few quick elbows on his ribs before he makes a cover!

1….

….2…

…….KICKOUT!

Tucker: I can’t believe it!

Fulton: Stay down!

SZK is furious, and he rips Cheez to his feet before he starts delivering thunderous chops. Hammering away at the Youtuber before he flings him into the corner. He tears and rips at his shirt, shredding it before he starts delivering chop after chop. Cheez’ chest turning bright red as the blows keep hammering home! Cheez is flung across the ring, hitting the corner before being hammered with a belly to belly on the rebound!
Torchwood: This has to be over!

A foot on the chest, and SZK laughs.

1….

…..

…..2….

……Thhhhhhhrrrrr…..

……KICKOUT!

Fulton: HOW?!?

SZK stares, eyes wide before he grabs for Cheez. Cheez shoves him back, and hits a dropkick that rocks SZK into the ropes! Another dropkick, and SZK staggers before Cheez catches him with DO A BARREL ROLL!

The fans explode, and SZK starts to rise before he is leveled with the CHEEZ WHIZ!

Halifax is going crazy, and Cheez shakes as he bumps his fists as he looks around wildly. Warrick is on the apron, and the ref grabs for him before Cheez charges across the ring to send him flying to the floor with a dropkick! The ref gapes, and the fans are going crazy as Cheez charges across the mat again!

CHEEZ WHIZ ON SZK!

Tucker: CHEEZ ON FIRE!

Torchwood: SZK unleashed a lion!

Cheez holds at his back, shaking his head as he rises before he points at the turnbuckle! He leaps onto the ropes, and the fans are going berserk as he dives off!

CHEDDAHEADA!

COVER!

1…..

…..2…..


……

…….THREE!


Fulton: NO! NO! NO!

Tucker: Cheez has done it! Cheez beat SZK!

Torchwood: Warrick is furious!

Salazar: YOUR WINNER CHEEEEEEEEEZ!

Webber III: We are here with more great WUK action here in Halifax, but unles you continue to support Marty Donovan? We may lose this great athlete forever!

Webber motioned, and the screens were filled with a display of a cheap ceramic mug with Marty’s face on it.

Webber III: With your donation of 30 dollars a month you get this mug to show your support of Marty Donovan! You get the continued appearance of Marty Donovan on WUK!

Match:Psychotic Goth vs. Kira Izumi

Goth’s Weapon on a Pole Match

We return to ringside and see that a long metal pole has been affixed to one ringpost, and hanging from it is the cruel looking metal tipped flail wielded by Psychotic Goth in Cornwall. Frank Salazar stands in the ring, and lifts a hand as the fans cheer.

Salazar: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is a GOTH’S WEAPON ON A POLE MATCH! The first person to retrieve the weapon will be allowed to use it for the rest of the match!

Cheers!

Torchwood: Whoever gets their hands on that flail will gain a massive advantage in this match between two Death Match legends!

Fulton: Kira the Dragon Slayer is walking out of Halifax covered in Goth’s blood!

Tucker: I think Goth is going to send Kira back to JROK in pieces!

Salazar continues.

Salazar: Entering the ring at this time, representing JROK! He is the leader of UZUMAKI, and the man who will slay WUK! Weighing in at 200 pounds from Shinhidaka, Hokkaido, Japan this is Kira Izumi!

The fans boo, as the lasers slice the air as four huge man draped in silk robes and wearing heavy wooden Oni Masks rise from the floor. Between them on a large platform balanced on their shoulders sits a man wearing Samurai Robes with a Samurai helmet with a skull mask across the lower half of his face. He sits cross legged as they carry him to the ring, and then he rises to fling off the robes. Then he lifts off the helmet to reveal the sneering face of Kira Izumi, who steps into the ring as he spreads his arms with a smirk.

The fans are livid.

Salazar: And his opponent representing WUK, he is the King of all Goths! He is the Dragon of WUK! Weighing in at 235 pounds, this is PSYCHOTIC GOTH!

Green fog swirls across the entrance ramp, and flames erupt along the edges of the ramp. Goth walks from the back flanked by Vampira, his eyes narrowed on the ring as he lifts a hand. The flames roar higher, and the mists swirl as he heads down the ramp. He rolls inside, and points at the weapon as he flashes a mad grin at Kira.

Tucker: There is alot of history and bad blood between these two men!

Torchwood: We are about to witness a war in Halifax!

The bell rings, and Goth wades in throwing punches and strikes to rock Kira backwards. The man from JROK takes them all, and hits the ropes before Goth flings him at the far side of the ring. Kira reverses, and Goth comes off the ropes to be dropped with a vicious back elbow! Goth topples, and the fans groan!

Fulton: Goth walked into that one!

The fans are furious as Kira starts stomping and kicking at Goth, battering him as he tries to rise! He locks on the Muta Lock, wrenching back on Goth as the fans boo! Goth grabs for the ropes, straining to escape as Kira tightens the hold! The ref asks if he wants to tap, and Goth shakes his head as he lunges to grab the ropes!

Kira breaks the hold, and drives stiff knees into the ribs of Goth! Then he flings him into the ring post, laughing before he points at the weapon. He crosses the ring, starting to climb upwards as he reaches for the flail!

Goth is back on his feet, running across the ring to sweep his legs from under him! Kira drops back into the ring, and Goth starts to stomp away at him. Kira rolls away, and comes to his feet only to be caught with a lariat!

Tucker: Goth on the offensive!

Torchwood: The Dragon of WUK can turn a match in an instant!

Goth stalks around the rising Kira, smiling before he moves inward to deliver a Triple Lightning Suplex! Kira is down again, and the fans cheer as Goth glares at Kira before he jerks him upwards again! He fires him into the ropes, delivering a Big Boot!


Fulton: Kira is just fucking with him!

Tucker: What? Kira is rocked!

Goth meanwhile climbs the turnbuckle, reaching for the dangling flail! He nearly slips, and reaches again before Kira is back on his feet. He charges forward, grabbing Goth to tear him from the ringpost!

GERMAN SUPLEX!

PIN!


1….

2….

……KICKOUT!

Torchwood: Kira Izumi trying to steal a win!

Goth starts to rise, but Kira comes off the ropes with a Shining Wizard! Goth is down, and the fans boo in Halifax as Kira throws back his hand to laugh. He walks back and forth, mocking them before he starts to climb for the weapon again!

Vampira leaps onto the apron, and shoves him off! The ref yells at her, pointing angrily as she shrugs! Kira staggers to his feet, lunging for her only to be ripped backwards by Goth who locks on the Kata ha jime!

Tucker: Kira took his eyes off the prize, and now he is paying for it!

Fulton: Vampira should be ejected from ringside!

The fans are going wild as Kira flails around as Goth tightens the hold, yanking his head backwards as his arms tighten. Kira shakes his head at the ref, and he grabs for the ropes narrowly missing! But then he hooks a foot on them, and the ref calls for the break!

Goth holds till the four, before shoving him off!

Torchwood: This match is back and forth! I love it!

The King of All Goths laughs, glaring at the rising King of JROK! And then he charges forward, leveling him with a Big Boot before he scoops him up. He runs at the ropes, going for the Snake Eyes! But Kira slides free, and flings Goth into the ropes before he hits a thunderous Suplex! The fans boo, and Kira leaps onto the ropes!

MOONSAULT!

Fulton: Kira must be a fisherman!

Tucker: What?

Fulton: Goth went for that hook, line, and sinker!

Tucker groaned!


Kira meanwhile, climbs the ropes and lunges upwards to rip free the flail! The fans boo, jeering as Kira holds it high before he spins the weapon in a lazy circle. And then he starts to lash it across the back of the rising Goth, blood flows as spikes and chains rip flesh!

Torchwood: Goth in a world of trouble here in Halifax!

Goth starts to rise, cursing before Kira drives the butt end of the flail’s shaft into his head. Goth stumbles against the ropes, and Kira snaps it across his ribs with a series of quick blows. Blood flows, and Goth staggers away before Kira grabs him. The chain is wrapped around his throat, choking him as he plants a knee in his back.

Tucker: Kira just punishing Goth!

Fulton: Goth is like the anti-Kira! He deserves to be punished!

Torchwood: Goth needs to get away from Kira, and regroup!

Kira shoves Goth away, leaving him gasping for air as he stalks backwards. The flail rattling and jangling as he holds the bloodied chains high. He laughs, grinning wildly before he points at Goth before he charges in again. Goth grabs the chains, and flings Kira at the ropes before he catches him with a lariat that dumps him to the outside!

Tucker: Goth is still fighting! Goth is not backing down from Kira!

Fulton: No one ever said he was smart!

Tucker: He has heart! You wouldn’t know about it!

The fans are on their feet as Goth drops back, and he charges across the ring to dive between the ropes at the rising Kira! But the King of JROK levels him with the flail across his face and chest! Goth drops, writhing as the Halifax fans boo.

Kira laughs, and kicks Goth over onto his back before he plants a boot on his throat. He smirks down at him, flail dangling from his hand a the yells at the jeering fans. Then he steps back, and he cracks the weapon across the back of the rising Goth! Blood flows, and Goth stumbles before Vampira grabs at Kira.

CRACK! The haft of the flail snaps into her face!

Tucker: DISGUSTING DISPLAY!

Fulton: Interference gets what it deserves!

The ref calls the count, and Kira rolls inside to break it. He comes back to the outside, and points the flail at Goth who is leaning against the ring post. He rears back, and snaps it forward but Goth rolls aside! The chains tangle and twist around the ringpost, and Kira yanks on it before Goth grabs him to slam his head into the ringpost!

Kira slams face first into the tangled spikes and chains, and blood flows down his face. He staggers back, shaking his head before Goth grabs him to slam his head into the post again and again. Then he grabs him and drops him across the ringstairs!

Kira rolls around grabbing at his back, and Goth roars as he rolls inside. The ref breaks the count, and Goth climbs the ringpost before he points down at Kira who is sprawled on the floor.

Tucker: He can’t be serious!


Fulton: Someone stop this lunatic!

PURGATORY PLUNGE!

Kira and Goth sprawl on the floor of the Nova Scotia Arena, and the fans chant ‘HOLY SHIT!’

The ref gapes, and starts to count!

At seven Goth stumbles to his feet, shaking his head before he grabs the bloody Kira to fling him inside. The fans cheer, and he rolls in after him.

Kira steps back,and then unleashes the BLOOD MIST!

But catches the ref! The man drops grabbing at his eyes, and face as Goth starts to rise. Kira motions to the back, waving his arms.

UZUMAKI runs from the back, charging down the ramp led by Killer Kai!

Tucker: Not like this!

Torchwood: Kira Izumi with an insurance policy!

The fans are furious, and then out of the back charge a group of men clad in red jackets! They grab UZUMAKI, hand cuffing them and menacing them with nightsticks and tasers! The fans are on their feet in Halifax!

Fulton: THE MOUNTIES!?

The Mounties drag UZUMAKI towards the back, and Kira curses before he turns to see the bleeding Goth crouched on the turnbuckle. His eyes widen, and then Goth leaps into the air!

DEMON STRIKE!

COVER!

1….

2…..

…..


……..THREE!

The fans explode, and Goth rolls from the ring to rip his weapon free of the ringpost. He holds it high, an arm around Vampira as he laughs at the fuming Kira. The ref still rubbing at his eyes, and then the Padding-tron flares to life.

The Mounties are shoving UZUMAKI into the back of a police van, ignoring the protests of a handcuffed Sakaraba! And then the lead mountie turns to look at the camera, a Gorn mask stares from the under the peaked black hat. Shades are perched on the muzzle, and there is ludicrous thick mustache.

He holds up a green hand, and gives a clawed thumbs up.

Kira gapes, and starts yelling.

Fulton: This is awful! Canadian Prisons are notorious!

Tucker: Do you even hear yourself? They are probably a five star resort!

Torchwood: Florida Man and Goth got one over on the King of JROK here in Halifax!

[Mr. Blood]

Match:Rage & Cage vs. the Brothers Gluck

Salazar: Introducing first…!

…rrriiiiiiissssseee…

Salazar: Hailing from the Mudflats of Mississippi, and weighing in at a combined weight of 581 lbs! CARLTON! CHAPPS! THE BRRRRRRROTHERS… GLUUUUUUUUCCCKKK!

♫ You take my home ♫
♫ And reduce it to a tired, satirical ♫
♫ Hillbilly reference ♫
♫ IT’S BEYOND OLD! ♫
♫ (I abhor the fucking arrogance) ♫

The Brothers Gluck walk out onto the stage. Carlton spreads his arms wide while Chapps drops to one knee in a thinker’s pose. He jumps up and starts to run to the ring, but Carlton grabs him by his shaggy hair, holding him back as the Glucks walk to the ring.

Tucker: Halifax is on their feet for the Brother Gluck!

Fulton: Losers in Nova Scotia, losers in Mississippi! They have to stick together! They get cheered in Yorkshire too.

Torchwood: Lad, you don’t know about the hard times in Yorkshire! We lived in a box, and we were lucky to have it!

At ringside Carlton lets go of Chapps. Carlton walks up the stairs, but Chapps jumps from the floor to the ring apron, and then over the top rope. They walk to the middle of the hardcam rope. Carlton puts one foot on the bottom rope and leans on the top rope with a roar while Chapps jumps to the middle and top ropes, raises his fists and howls.
Tucker: The Brothers Gluck have bee waiting for revenge on the High Roller’s Club, and tonight they might get it!
‘
Fulton: Please.

Salazar: And their opponents representing the High Roller’s Club, accompanied to the ring by Warrick! Weighing in at 432 pounds! They are Rage and Cage!

“Woke” Wesley Rage and Nicholas Honest Cage walk out to boos. The frowning Warrick following behind them in a dark suit.Cage is in his neon UFC-style shorts with an Oscar statue airbrushed over the crotch. Rage is wearing plain red tights along with red boots. He has the hammer in yellow on his left boot and the sickle in yellow on his right boot. His entire left arm is taped up and sports pro-worker/left-wing slogans on it. He is wearing a black gaiter over his nose and mouth. Rage has a serious look in his eyes and marches to the ring while Cage is full of energy. Cage jumps around and hypes up his brother. They roll into the ring, then hop up and hug each other.

Tucker: It is ridiculous they allow Warrick out here! All he does is interfere!

Fulton: Whoa! How dare you? Warrick is out here to protect the HRC from people like you! Like Cheez! Like Frisik! Like those degenerates the Drexel Van Zant Slams! People like LD!

Tucker: Are you serious?

Torchwood: Lads!

The Brothers Gluck glower at Rage and Cage, and the ref tries to keep them back as Warrick smirks at them. Then the ref finally calls for the bell, and the fans cheer as Cage looks to start against the angry looking Chapps!

Cage starts by throwing a few punches, that seem to have no effect on Chapps. And he grabs the Honest One, and flings him across the ring with a roar. The fans cheer, and Cage stumbles to his feet before he is grabbed to be flung aside once more.

Tucker: Chapps throwing Cage around the ring in a display of power!

Fulton: He’s a bully!

Cage staggers to his feet, holding his back before Chapps grabs him again. He throws quick elbows into his back, hammering away at his spine before he hits a thunderous Belly to Back Gluckplex!

Cage grabs at his back, and starts to crawl for his corner as Chapps points at Rage.

Rage swallows.

Torchwood: The Brothers Gluck want Wesley Rage!

Fulton: Disgusting!

Tag!

Rage climbs into the ring slowly, and grabs for the ropes with a shake of his head as Chapps charges in. The ref gets between them, pushing Chapps back as he shakes his head. Rage let’s go of the ropes, and Chapps grabs for him again!

Rage grabs the ropes, and the fans jeer!

Fulton: Brilliant!

Tucker: Rage scared to fight now? Is that it?

Fulton: Wow! Rage is getting in his head!

Torchwood: I am not sure that is a good idea.

Chapps has indeed had enough, pushing aside the ref to grab Rage. He flings him at the ropes, and levels him with a huge shoulder! Rage is sprawling, and tries to get to his feet before he is grabbed for a brutal Gluckplex! Then another!

Then a Third!

Chapps drags Rage to the corner, and tags Carlton!

Tucker: The big man in the ring, and he doesn’t look at all happy!

Carlton grabs Rage by the throat, shoving him hard into the corner as he looms over him. The big Gluck is yelling something, and then he fire Rage at the ropes!

Torchwood: Blind tag from Cage!

POWERSLAM!


Rage is broken in half, and Carlton makes a half hearted cover as the ref waves him off.
Tucker: Nice save from Cage!

Cage charges in, hitting a dropkick on the rising Gluck! He drops back, and hits another, and another. Carlton is rocked backwards, and the fans boo before Cage hits the ropes to came off with the handspring elbow!

GERMAN GLUCKPLEX INTO THE ROPES!

Fulton: That move should be banned!

Warrick grabs Cage, jerking him outside which draws a dark glare from the big MotherGlucker. The pair stare each other down as the ref starts a count, and Cage finally rolls back inside! Carlton grabs for him. THUMB TO THE EYE!

Tucker: Where is the ref! What was that!

Fulton: What was what?

Tucker: You damned well know what!

Carlton grabs at his eye, shaking his head before Warrick starts inside of the ring. Chapps already fuming, starts inside which draws more ire from Warrick. The ref tries to get them back under control, pointing and yelling.

Cage looks around, and then buries his foot below the belt!

Papa's Got a Brand New Bag!

Tucker: Come on!

Torchwood: Cage taking advantage of the distraction!

The ref is fairly fighting to hold back the furious Chapps, and Cage wastes no time in going for the tag! The fans are furious, and Chapps curses as he tries to help his brother as Rage and Cage set him up!

LEAVING LAS VEGAS!

COVER!

1….

….2….

…….KICKOUT!

Fulton: How?

Tucker: Carlton has heart that’s how!

Carlton is in bad shape, and shakes his head as he drags himself towards his corner. He reaches for the tag, but is yanked backwards by Rage. He smirk at Chapps, flipping him off which makes the smaller Gluck once more try to get in the ring!

And he locks on the REVOLUTION!

Torchwood: Wesley Rage is a dangerous man! And he is one of the biggest threats in the High Rollers! He may not be as obnoxious as Crane or Reese, but he is a technical threat!

Fulton: Finally, some honesty at this table!

Rage pulls back, leaning hard as he reaches back to increase the pressure on the hold by locking hands with Warrick. The fans boo, jeering as Warrick hauls on the arm as Rage leans back hard. The ref is still arguing with Chapps, who is trying to get inside the ring.

Tucker: This is disgusting! Warrick should be banned from ringside!

Fulton: Go tell him that!

The ref however turns, and starts yelling for Rage to break the hold as he admonishes Warrick. Warrick argues back, and Carlton lunges to tag Chapps! But the ref misses it!

The fans groan, and the ref starts arguing with Chapps.

Rage and Warrick waste no time in double teaming the staggering Carlton, hammering away at him!

Torchwood: Chapps temper is getting the best of his brother!

Carlton is in bad shape, doubled over as he staggers to his feet. And Rage grabs him, a leg twisting behind Carlton’s leg! And he hits the FALL OF FASCISM!

Cover!

1….

……

….2….

……CARLTON FLINGS HIM OFF!

The fans explode, and Carlton dives for the tag!

Chapps charges into the ring, and he grabs Rage to send him flying with a GLUCKPLEX! The fans explode and Chapps charges to hammer an elbow into the face of Warrick, the enforcer stumbles as the ref yells. Gluck ignores him and rips Warrick inside the ring!

GERMAN GLUCKPLEX ON WARRICK!

AND ANOTHER!

AND A THIRD!

Fulton: This is assault! This is uncalled for!

Tucker: YES!

Chapps runs across the ring, and levels Cage with a shoulder. And then his eyes narrow on the slowly rising Rage. He runs forward again, batterin a huge shoulder into Rage to send him flying. The fans explode, going wild as Rage shakes his head before Chapps grabs him again!

GLUCKBUSTER!

Tag to Carlton!

Torchwood: Chapps on a rampage here in Halifax!

Carlton grabs Rage, lifting him onto his shoulders as Chapps leaps onto the ropes. And the fans are on their feet, chanting for the Glucks. DOUBLE GLUCKENSTEINER!

Cover!

1….

…..2…..

……WARRICK RIPS THE REF AWAY!

The fans groan, and Carlton glares at Warrick before he rolls to the outside. He spins the enforcer around, and he starts hammering away at him. The pair trading blows on the outside as Chapps climbs to his feet, pulling on the ropes.

Cage runs at him, and Chapps grabs him to send him flying into the corner with a brutal looking Belly to Belly GLUCKPLEX! He turns his eyes to Rage, nodding before he stomps across the ring! And then Reese rolls inside, and hits the low blow!

Tucker: NO! NO! FUCKING REESE!

Fulton: THEY HATE US CUZ THEY AIN’T US!

Torchwood: STARKILLER! STARKILLER!

Cover!

The dazed ref rolls over, and makes the count!

1….

2….

……

…….THREE!

Tucker: BULLSHIT!

Torchwood: The Brothers Gluck robbed here in Halifax!

The High Rollers hit the ramp, backing away with the battered Rage and Cage between them. Carlton checks on his brother, and then his eyes narrow on the smirking Reese. His huge hand balling into a fist, and the fans are jeering as the camera cuts away.

Salazar: Your winners RAGE AND CAGE!

Frank Wormwood: Alright, cut the shit! We all know Marty isn’t retiring!

The phone operators blinked, and Webber yelped as he hide behind Rude as Wormwood stomped inside. He jammed a thick finger at the pair, shaking his head.

Frank Wormwood: This is ridiculous!

Then Tony Blood walked inside, nodding as he pulled out his checkbook.

Tony Blood You’re right! I will just pay to keep Marty on the air! I am not afraid to spend money on talent!

Frank whipped around eyes bulging as Tony wrote a quick check, and he tossed it to the phone operators. They stared, and then ran out of the room yelling for Marty. Frank stammered, and then stomped his foot as he walked off the other way.

Webber III: You did it!

Tony Blood I did! Can I get one of those mugs?

Match: Spike Kane vs. ‘The Role Model’ Anthony Jordan

60 Minute Iron Man Match

Salazar: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is a 60 Minute Iron Man Match! The man with the most pinfalls or submissions at the end of one hour will be the winner!

The fans are on their feet, cheering in Halifax as Salazar nod to Eric Praline, the WUK head official. He turns towards the ramp, a hand lifting.

Salazar: Entering the ring first from from the great state of Mississippi! He is the longest reigning British Champion in BWA history, he is an 8 time world Champion, he is a BWA Hall of Famer! Weighing in at 200 pounds! They call him the Role Model!

ANNNNNNNNTHONNNNNNY JOOOOOOOOORDAAAAAAAN!

The fans are on their feet as the pyros pop, and the Role Model steps from the back. He holds a finger in the air, nodding before he starts down the ramp. He high fives a few fans, and then climbs the stairs to look across the fans with a slow nod.

Torchwood: I never thought I’d see the day when Anthony Jordan once more walked the Grey Mile, and entered the ring for a fight!

Tucker: AJ is out here tonight looking for revenge for his prodigy Kalmin Watts, for El Karas! He is standing up against Spike Kane!

Fulton: Jordan needs to mind his own damned business.

Tucker: Spike Kane ended Watts’ career! That makes it AJ’s business!

Fulton: Next he will be crying because Spike Kane took out his former best friend like he doesn’t know Donzig is a monster!

Tucker: So that gives Spike a pass?

Torchwood: Lads!

Jordan paces back and forth, pulling on the ropes before he checks the tape on his wrists. He frowns at the ramp, and Salazar continues.

Salazar: And his opponent fighting out of Belfast, Ireland at 220 pounds! He is a former X-Crown Champion, he is one of the Pillars of Violence! He is the GOD OF XTREME! THIS IS SPIIIIIIIIIIIKE KAAAAAAAANE!

The fans give a mixed reaction, but mostly boos here in Halifax as a ring of flames leap into being atop the ramp. They swirl and crackle, a fiery red as a figure rises sitting cross legged in the middle of them. The figure is robed in black, and looks up to reveal a monstrous skull mask surmounted with curving antlers.

He leaps to his feet, and the flames go out before the lights come back to life. Spike rips off the mask, glaring at the ring before he starts down the ramp with a wild evil grin.

Spike climbs into the ring, sneering at the fans before he steps between the ropes. Praline gets between him and AJ, and the fans are going wild.

Torchwood: We are about to witness history as two legends clash here in Halifax!

Tucker: This is going to be epic!

Fulton: The only thing epic here will be the beating that Spike hands this man! AJ was great back in the day, but this isn’t 2006!

Tucker: The Role Model might not be a good as he was once, but once he is good as he ever was!

Fulton: For an hour?

The referee steps back, and calls for the bell!

Spike Kane laughs, and AJ starts swinging battering away at the mocking God of Xtreme! He fires off punch and after punch, rocking Spike into the ropes before he goes to whip him across the ring. The fans explode as AJ grabs him on the rebound for a quick Belly to Belly!

But Spike lands on his feet, and catches the Role Model with a lariat!

Tucker: Unbelievable exchange to open this match!

Fulton: But who came out on top of it?

Tucker: The Role Model caught Spike napping, and we all saw it!

Torchwood: Spike Kane looks annoyed!

AJ starts to rise, and Spike runs at him to drive a knee into the side of his head. AJ drops to his knees, and Spike hammers his knee home again. Then he starts leveling him with heavy blows across his back, stomping away at him before he grabs Jordan around the waist!

German Suplex!

Fulton: Spike Kane trying to keep the technical legend off balance in the early going! And I love it!

Tucker: Don’t count the Role Model out yet!

The fans boo, as Spike smirks before he makes the cover.

1…

….2….

……

……FOOT ON THE ROPE!

Torchwood: Ring presence from the BWA Hall of Famer!

The fans cheer, and Spike curses at the referee before he drags AJ back to his feet. He hammers a few forearms across his back, and then he points at the turnbuckle. He goes for the Buckle Bomb, but AJ manages to get free! A quick kick to the gut, and he locks on the Guillontine! He wrenches upwards, and Spike drives him back as the hold is tightened!

Praline calls for the break, and Jordan holds to the four!

Torchwood: AJ fighting smart!

Fulton: All he is doing is making Spike angry!

Spike lunges forward, and Jordan steps aside to let him plow into the corner! The fans explode, and Spike staggers back before Jordan rolls him up!

1….

2….

……KICKOUT!

Tucker: Close! So close!

Fulton: And then what? Jordan gets beat on for another 48 minutes?

Jordan crouches down, ready to grapple it seems as Spike rolls to his feet. His eyes narrow, and the pair lock up. They strain back and forth, Jordan going for the roll behind before Spike blocks him with a shake of his head. The pair twisting again, and then Spike locks up for the test of strength.

Torchwood: Jordan using his mat wrestling skills to keep Spike off balance!

Fulton: How long do you think that will work?

The fans are cheering them on, but Spike soon pushes AJ into the corner. The ref calls for a break, and Spike yells at him. He breaks at the four, though he drives a quick thumb into AJ’s eye that the ref misses! AJ stumbles, holding at his face before Spike grabs him to fling him at the ropes.

TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER!

Jordan is down, back arching as Spike laughs as he rises to his feet as the fans boo.

Tucker: Spike Kane just punishing Anthony Jordan here in Halifax!

Spike drives a boot beneath the chin of Jordan, and slowly drags him upwards with a wicked grin. The fans boo, and Jordan looks dazed as Spike steps back.

Fulton: One fall coming up!

Torchwood: Spike Kane looking for the Black Mass!

Indeed.

BLACK MASS!

But AJ ducks the kick, and comes up under Spike to grab him!

CRADLE SUPLEX!

The fans cheer, and Jordan crawls over for the cover!

1….

….2…

……..KICKOUT!

Tucker: AJ almost stole one!

Fulton: Please! Please!

Torchwood: Jordan didn’t hook the leg, and it cost him!

Jordan drags Spike back to his feet, and delivers a few wicked looking chops. Hammering the God of Xtreme into the corner, and the fans are going wild as he keeps chopping away. Spike’s tattoo covered chest turning red under the strikes before AJ grabs him to fling him at the corner.

REVERSAL!


Jordan hammers into the corner, and bounces out only to be caught with ABIGAIL’S WINGS!

Tucker: NO! NO!

Torchwood: Jordan is out cold, and Halifax is furious!

COVER!

1….

2….

…….THREE!

Fulton: As a wise man used to say ‘inevitable’!

Tucker: Go to hell!

Salazar: Spike Kane has scored one fall!

SPIKE: One Anthony Jordan: Zero

The fans jeer, booing as Spike laughs as he crouches over the fallen Jordan. AJ struggles to rise, shaking his head as Spike mocks him before he finally grabs him to pull him to his feet. He drives a few stiff punches into the head of the Role Model before flinging him into the corner.

Tucker: Anthony Jordan in a lot of trouble and we are barely half way into this one!

Fulton: It’s just sad when these old men don’t know when it is time to hang it up, he will be out here pimping an energy drink before we know it!

Tucker: Would you stop!

The fans are going wild as Spike drops back, and he fires off a superkick at the head of AJ! Jordan rolls aside, and Spike is hung up on the ropes before Jordan grabs him to deliver a brutal looking suplex! The fans come to their feet in Halifax, and Jordan dives for a quick cover!

1….

…..2…..

……KICKOUT!

Torchwood: So close! Jordan almost stole that one!

The God of Xtreme rolls back to his feet, and snaps a Black Mass at the head of Jordan. AJ backs off, narrowly missing getting his head taken off. But Spike wastes no time, lunging forward to deliver a few shots before he starts battering stiff knees into his ribs and stomach. Jordan staggers back, hitting the ropes before he is ripped away to be whipped across the ring.

REVERSE!

BELLY TO BELLY!

Halifax is going wild as Spike looks stunned, Jordan grabs his legs, and drops to the mat!

IDOLIZER II!

Torchwood: Jordan locking on the variation of the Indian Deathlock! Spike straining for the ropes!

Tucker: Will Spike give up a fall to limit the damage or will he fight through?

Fulton: There is no way Spike is tapping!

Spike snarls at the ref, grabbing for the ropes again as AJ keeps up the pressure! And his fingers come up short, and then he tries to grab back at Jordan. His hand grabs the ref then, ripping him off balance to break the hold! The fans boo, and head WUK official Eric Praline comes up fuming, he waves a hand as Jordan comes to his feet while he is yelling at Spike.

Salazar: Anthony Jordan scores a pinfall via Disqualification!

SPIKE: One Anthony Jordan: One

Spike stares, and then he kicks his foot into the stomach of Praline!

STUNNER!

Fulton: Serves him right!

Tucker: There are going to be fines for that one!

Spike stares at Anthony Jordan, an evil grin spreading across his face before Jordan starts throwing a few strikes of his own. He batters away at Spike, hammering at him before he flings him into the ropes.

OKLAHOMA HAMMER!

Tucker: Jordan paying homage to his protege Kalmin Watts here in Halifax!

Fulton: Whatever!

The fans are eating up though as Jordan hauls Spike to his feet, and he delivers the PRESUMPTOUS PLEX!

COVER!

But there is no ref!

Torchwood: Spike Kane stole that pinfall!

Tucker: Praline is still out cold!

The fans are furious as AJ rises to his feet, shaking his head before he walks over to grab Praline’s shoulder. But Spike rolls over, and nails him with the low blow! The fans jeer, and Spike laughs wildly as he flings AJ into the ropes!

TILT A WHIRL BACKBREAKER!

Tucker: The Role Model is broken in half!

Fulton: WUK is no country for old men, Tucker!

AJ writhes in pain, and Spike smirks down at him before he shoves a boot beneath his chin. He drags him upwards, laughing at the booing fans before he steps back.

SUPERKICK!

Jordan is driven across the ropes to the outside, and Spike follows after him with a look of manic glee.

He shoves aside a few fans, and grabs a steel chair from the front row. He holds it high in the air, and then he delivers a vicious chair shot across the back of Jordan. Aj staggers, falling to his knees before he starts to rise again.

ANOTHER CHAIR SHOT!

Tucker: This is disgusting! This is uncalled for!

Fulton: Cry me a river!

The fans are jeering as Jordan shoves himself upwards again after crawling around the side of the ring near the announce tables! And the chair swings down again, cracking across his head. Blood flows, and he falls back against the barricade with a dazed look. Spike flings down the chair, and his eyes settle on the Welsh announce table.

Torchwood: Uh oh! I don’t like that look!

Spike runs a hand across the cover of the desk, and then throws it aside before he grabs Jordan.

BLOOD GOD’S WRATH!

Halifax is furious, and Jordan is sprawled in broken heap as Spike sneers at the Welsh commentators.

Fulton: That was a message! That was a message to the dearly departed!

Tucker: Why?

Spike grabs the bleeding and battered AJ, and flings him inside of the ring. He stares out across the fans, smirking before he slowly climbs the ringpost. He looks down at AJ, and then leaps off with a brutal Senton!

Praline blinks, crawls over for the count!

Torchwood: The clock looks to be winding down! And Spike going for the kill!

1….

…..

…..2…..

……

Spike rips AJ from the mat, and Praline blinks as he shakes his head before leering at Jordan as he rises.

Spike: No, no, no!

The fans have had it, and Spike howls as he walks back and forth as AJ starts to rise.

Tucker: Spike Kane mocking Donzig as he destroys his old friend!

Fulton: And I love it! I love it!

BLACK MASS!

The Role Model topples, and the fans are again jeering as Spike laughs as he plants a boot on his chest.

1….

2….

……THREE!

Salazar: Spike Kane scores a Pinfall!

SPIKE: Two Anthony Jordan: One

Torchwood: About 7 minutes left on the clock, and Spike Kane is daring Anthony Jordan to rise!

Fulton: Jordan needs to stay down! He needs to know he is beaten!

The Role Model starts to rise shaking his head as he drags himself up the ropes. He stumbles forward, wiping blood from his face as he stares at Spike with a shake of his head. He looks exhausted, but lifts his hands for a fight.

Spike smirks, and starts forward to batter a few stiff shots into him. Jordan staggers, stumbling before he rises again.

Spike drops him once more, and laughs as he shakes his head at the fans.

Tucker: Anthony Jordan is not giving up!

Torchwood: The Role Model is crawling back to his feet!

Spike shoves AJ as he struggles to his knees, pushing him back down. But Jordan rises again, dragging himself upwards by tugging on Spike. The God of Xtreme stares, and shoves him once more but Jordan shakes his head as he stands to his feet.

He tells Spike to bring it on, and Spike buries a boot in his gut!

STUNNER!

Jordan is down, and Spike goes for the cover!

1….

2….

……THREE!

Salazar: Spike Kane scores a Pinfall!

SPIKE: Three Anthony Jordan: One

The fans are furious, booing as Spike sneers at them as he points to the clock as the last few seconds wind down. And he spreads his arms wide, throwing back his head and laughing before he kicks aside Praline.

Anthony Jordan is still trying to rise, and Spike laughs before he waves a hand at the back. The Empty Hand Gavin Drake, and the smirking David Slam the Third walk out. Their eyes narrowed on the ring as Spike points at Jordan. David Slam the Second lurks behind them, rubbing his hands together as he nods with approval.

Fulton: Spike Kane going to show the entire XHF what it means to get in his way!

Tucker: He’s already won the damned match!

Spike leans against the ropes, staring at the battered Role Model with a sneer. Anthony Jordan hangs his head as sees the three on the ramp, shaking his head before he tries to rise again. They grab the ropes, pulling themselves in the ring and then the lights go off.

Torchwood: What in the world?

The fans start to chant. ‘A KING IN THE NORTH! A KING IN THE NORTH!’

The lights flicker back to life and the Oblivion Death Squad stand between the three and Anthony Jordan. Their faces hidden by their masks, but the big men are holding chains and a chair as the stomp angrily.

Sinclair Godfrey stands over AJ, her eyes locked on Drake before they towards Spike. Her chin lifts, and she smiles slowly.

Fulton: Who does she think she is?

Tucker: The Baroness of Donzig-gun? Lady Sinclair Godfrey, the Ninth Baroness Godfrey? The Lady of WUK?

Fulton: Smart ass.

Drake snarls, and starts forward before Spike grabs his arm. He drags him back, shaking his head as he stares at Sinclair. Slam follows them back a step, and Mormo stalks closer as they move back as Spike snarls.

Spike: My time! My fucking time!

Sinclair smiles, her hand on AJ’s shoulder.

Sinclair Godfrey: See you soon.

[Mr. Blood]

"What does everybody want?"

Crowd (clap back): ANGEL.  DUST.

"What does everybody need?"

Crowd (clap back): ANGEL. DUST.

The crowd roar with approval as a certain top contender staggers through the curtains.

Florida Man: Who you gonna buy it from?

Crowd (clap back): NOT.  FROM.  YOU.

Florida Man: Why the heck not?

Crowd (clap back): You. cut. it. with. Robitussin.

Florida Man (shrug): Everyone's a critic!

The camera scans through the capacity crowd to find a wealth of oversized Florida Man foam claws, home made croc masks, and supportive signs for the commonwealth champion.  Something about the drug dealing alligator has really captured the imaginations of the Canadian crowd.  Stopping at the edge of the entrance platform, the Sunshine State Stud addresses the Scotiabank Centre.

Florida Man: Halifax... y'all ready for me and Eron Hunter to burn this sucker down?  OH HELLS TO THE YEAHS!  I respect the heck out of Eron, and can't think of a wrestler I'd rather ring in 2024 with than the Hunter!

The crowd are eating it up.

Florida Man: Oh yeahs, Eron is basically a hometown boy here, right?  Everyone knows, Eron gotz his start on the Network with Northern Pro Wrestling.  Halifax would be his stiggity stomping grounds.  Wearing a mask, Eron was the best damn thing in NPW - sorry Dominicus - who didn't love Lynx?  Now I'm still trying to wrap my head 'round half his moves being WHITE TIGERS instead of LYNXS... dude just likes big cats, I guess.  Oh, he's as Italian as you get - BUT for all those NPW matches, I think we can consider him an honorary Canadian tonight...

The cheering continues for this nationalist pandering...

Florida Man: To bad for him... FOOOOOOOOR ONE NIGHT ONLY........... HALIFAX IS.... FLOOOOOOOOORIDA COUNTRY!!!!!!!!!!!

The crowd explode with approval, all these Canadians ever wanted was to become American, #facts, even as they worry about their universal healthcare.

Florida Man: Now, I know what you're all thinking... commonwealth... tag... ain't no way one man is gonna hold all three big gold straps at the same time, right?  TRIPLE CROWN in one sitting?  Impossible!  Does sound like a drug fuelled fever dream........ a long shot......... especially against a champion of Eron's caliber............ but THIS HERE FLORIDA MAN IS ALL ABOUT BREAKING THE DANG SYSTEM, AND YOU CAN TAKE THAT TO THE SCOTIABANK!!!  TONIGHT I'M PASSING FROM URBAN LEGEND TO W:UK MYTH!

Another local name drop, the crowd can't help themselves.  As the Florida Man chants start up, the challenger cartwheels his way to the back.

Match: ‘The High Roller’ Wesley Crane vs. Kasper Van Zant

First Blood Match for the WUK Number One Contendership

Salazar: The following contest is a first blood match! The winner will receive a shot at the WUK World Heavyweight Title at Showdown in Saskatoon!

The fans cheer, and Frank nods. He motions to the ramp with a grin.

Salazar: Entering the ring first, weighing in at 223 pounds, fighting out of Syracuse, New York! He is the man they call the High Roller, this is WESLEY CRANE!

The arena lights turn plum purple. They begin pulsing with the beat of Wesley’s theme music.


“Rubbing on that Italian leather

'Dem Konvict jeans on!

Ay yo Weezy! You Ready, yeah!

I get it in 'till sunrise

Doing ninety in a sixty five

Windows rolled down screaming ah!

Hey-ey-ey' I'm so paid

Number one hustla' gettin' money

Why do you wanna count my money

I'm a hustla' and I don't need them! One of them y'all see! I'm so paid”


The lights go back to normal and out steps “The High Roller” Wesley Crane to a mixed reaction from the fans. He stands on the stage and looks around at everyone. He lowers his aviator sunglasses and gives everyone a cocky grin. Then he reaches behind him, and produces his Golden Dragon Mask! He laughs, and slowly drags it on before tying it off. The fans boo, and he heads for the ring. He slowly makes his way to the ring, the entire time looking around at the fans. Once ringside he climbs up the steps and holds onto the ring ropes. He wipes his feet off on the ring apron before entering the ring. Once inside he stands in the center of the ring and holds his arms wide open.

Fulton: Crane deciding to honor his legacy from Japan here tonight! I love it!

Tucker: Sure! I am sure it has nothing to do with the fact a mask will stop anyone from seeing if he is bleeding!

Fulton: It is disgusting how your mind works!

Salazar: And his opponent weighing in at 200 pounds from Cedar Creek, Louisiana! She is the Bayou Princess, this is Kasper Van Zant!

the guitar rift of 'Hush' by TOOL builds up as a shower of sparks fall across the entrance ramp, the camera follows a hooded Kasper Van Zant from her locker room.

'FUUUUUCK YOU!'

She blows past the camera man who follows her through the shower of sparks, Kasper bounces under the raining sparks. Then takes off down the ramp as fireworks launch staggering her path down the ramp before she dives under the bottom rope sliding into the center holding a rebel scum smirk. Jumping back to her feet she pulls the hoodie off and tosses it to someone in the front, she wrenches the ropes in her corner stretching...waiting...

Tucker: Kasper Van Zant needs to keep her temper in check after Crane cost her the X-Crown!

Fulton: Whoa! Whoa! How dare you, sir!

Tucker: We all saw the damned match!

Fulton: Kasper brought that on herself! Kasper just had to side with LD against the greatest faction in WUK!

Tucker: You have no proof she is Lady Evil!

Torchwood: Lads!

The referee calls for the bell, and the two face off as Kasper seems unamused by the mask that Crane wears. And the pair lock up, struggling back and forth before Crane forces her to the ropes. He laughs at her, shrugging before they lock up again before Kasper is forced to the corner!

Torchwood: Crane forcing Kasper to the corner.

Crane drops back, laughing before Kasper grabs him to fling him hard into the corner. And then she levels him with a quick elbow, and then a second, before hammering in a third! The fans explode, and Kasper glares at him before she fires him across the ring at the other corner!

Side Slam!

The fans explode, and Crane looks dazed as he grabs at his back.

Tucker: Van Zant is furious!

Fulton: For what? Because she picked the wrong horse?

Kasper planted a knee on the mat, straddling Crane’s chest before she used the mask to lift his head. And she started hammering punches down on him, throwing stiff left hands again and again as the fans cheered her on. Then she moved off, stomping around the ring as Crane dragged himself upwards.

Torchwood: Kasper making a mistake here! Giving Crane time to recover!

Fulton: Crane get up!

The fans were cheering as Kasper walked back over to grab Crane, and she flung him at the ropes! But Crane reversed, and he hit a clothesline that rocked Kasper off her feet! He stomped away at her, and then dragged her upwards before he hit a Double Arm DDT! Kasper sprawls, and Crane drops back as he points at his knee as he waits for her to rise.

Tucker: This looks dangerous! In Da Face could break Kasper wide open!

IN DA FACE!

Kasper is down, and the ref checks for blood as Crane glares at them. He walks over, shoving the ref aside before he grabs a handful of hair. He slaps Kasper a few times, and flings her into the corner.

EUROPEAN UPPERCUT! AND ANOTHER! AND A THIRD!

The fans boo, and the ref tries to check on Kasper who waves him off.

Tucker: Crane battering away at Kasper! He wants to end this!

Torchwood: Crane is desperate to reclaim his WUK World Heavyweight Title!

Crane goes back to the wall one time too many, and Kasper moves out of the way! Crane crashes into the corner, and comes out to be tossed across Kasper’s shoulders before she levels him with DISSOCIATION!

Fulton: I hope this referee is fined! This is his fault!

Tucker: Crane rolling to the outside! The High Roller looks hurt!

Kasper rolls out after him, grabbing Crane to fling him into the barricade! The fans explode, and she stomps away at him before planting a boot on his throat. Crane claws at her leg, trying to ge free before Kasper draws back. She rips him upwards, and flings him at the ringpost!

Crane slams into it, and lands in a heap against the stairs!

Torchwood: The power of Kasper is terrifying!

Tucker: Crane could be out cold!

The fans are cheering wildly as Kasper drops back, and then runs full tilt at Crane. Her knee slamming into the steel as Crane rolls aside. He grabs Kasper driving her head into the top of the stairs, the ref checking for blood before Crane tears a chair from the front row. He holds it high, and cracks it across the back of the Bayou Princess!

Kasper staggers, and Crane nails her again.

Fulton: It warms my heart to see Crane taking out the trash!

Tucker: Would you stop!

Crane flings the chair inside, and then drags Kasper inside before he grabs the chair once more as he motions for her to rise. Kasper staggers to her feet, glaring at him before he comes in with the chair.

SPEAR FROM VAN ZANT!

Both of them are down, and Halifax is going wild!

Tucker: This is a war! This is a war in Halifax! A shot at one of the richest prizes in the XHF!

Torchwood: Those are facts, lad! Only five men have been worthy to be called WUK Heavyweight Champion! Only five!

Crane shakes his head, motioning to the back as he grabs at the ropes. And the Enforcer of the HRC Warrick appears on the ramp, heading for the ring with a sneer as he nods at his boss. Crane smiles beneath his mask, and Kasper is starting to stir.

Tucker: Not again! Not again!

Fulton: No rules in a First Blood match, Tucker! Suck it!

Slam II charges down the ramp, and drops a steel chair across the back of Warrick. The fans explode, and the pair start to brawl on the ramp. They topple into the crowd, Warrick punching and kicking at Slam II as the fans part around them.

Crane curses, and staggers to his feet as he looks at the laughing Kasper as she rises.

Tucker: This match is breaking down!

The fans are going wild as Crane grabs Kasper, firing off some punches before she starts firing back. And the place is going wild, as Kasper fires him into the ropes!

JAWCLACKER!

Crane is down, and Kasper jerks him upwards to start tearing and ripping at that mask. The fans are going wild, and Crane tries to escape. Twisting and turning before he drives a thumb into her eye!

Tucker: Typical! Typical!

Fulton: Cry me a river!

The fans are booing as Crane hits a quick DDT onto the steel chair, and Kasper sprawls as the ref shakes his head. And the High Roller glares at him, before he drops back with the arm pumping dice roll motion as he waits for Kasper to rise!

Torchwood: Crane looking to finish her off with another In da Face it seems!

Kasper has it scouted though, and grabs Crane to level him with a Swing Side Slam onto the chair. Crane arches in pain, shaking his head as he tries to roll away. The fans cheer, and Kasper starts to tear at his mask once more along with a fe shots.

The fans start booing louder, and she looks up to see Reese coming down the ramp. He laughs, pointing at the ring before he shakes his head. He pauses, grabbing a steel chair as he and Kasper trade looks.

And then someone grabs the chair, and he turns with a frown.

LORD DOMINICUS STANDS IN THE CROWD!

Fulton: First Slam II and now this guy! This interference is outrageous!

Tucker: You can’t be serious!

Reese shoves Dominicus, pointing angrily as he pushes past him. LD grabs his arm, spinning him around before he levels him with the VANTABLACK PUNCH! Halifax explodes, and Reese sprawls as Kasper laughs before turning back towards Crane as LD disappears into the fans.

THE HRKO!

The fans groan, and Kasper is down as Crane glares around the ring before he rip off the mask. He shoves the referee, clearly furious before he grabs the steel chair. He shoves it between the turnbuckles, and he slaps it before he grabs Kasper to toss her in the corner. Her head against the chair as he drops back before he levels the finger gun!

Tucker: NO! NO! NOT THIS!

Torchwood: This could end her career!

Crane laughed, and he charged in with IN DA FACE!

Kasper rolled aside, and the chair buckled under the blow before falling to the mat. Crane stumbled, grabbing at the ref and the ropes as he limped before Kasper was on her feet.

SWAMP KICK!

Fulton: NO! NO!

The fans were chanting Kasper’s name as she grabbed Crane, shaking her head as he was flung across her shoulders.

DISASSOCIATION ONTO THE CHAIR!

Torchwood: Oh, my god! Crane broken in half!

Crane was indeed out cold, he sprawled on the chair out cold. Kasper stared down at him, and blood was pouring from his forehead as he struggled to move. The ref stared, and pushed Kasper back as he called for the bell.

Salazar: Your winner and the Number One Contender to the WUK World Heavyweight Title! KASPER VAN ZANT!

Kasper sags to her knees, nodding as the ref holds up her arm. And Reese glares at her from the front row, shaking his blonde head before he moves to help the bleeding and dazed Crane from the ring.

Fulton: This is a fucking travesty! I hate Canada!

[Mr. Blood]

Match: Eron Hunter vs. Florida Man
WUK World Heavyweight Championship Match

Salazar: The following contest is your Main Event of the evening! It is set for one fall, with a twenty minute time limit!

Fulton: Alright son let’s fucking gooooo~!

You know, “Mad Flava” by Fatboy Slim isn’t much easier to explain than Florida Man himself. Just throwing that out there.

On the Paddingtron, images of gators and crocs from popular culture are cut into a rapid fire montage, before even more cartoonish match highlights of a certain Floridian wrestler begin to bleed in - looking even less realistic.

Salazar: Hailing from… Florida, and weighing in at 198 lbs! He is the winner of Battle of Britain II!

The back entrance curtains start to move... then rip off! The sound of breaking glass!

Salazar: HE… IS… FLLLOOOOORRRIIIDDAAA MMMAAAAANNN!!!!

Florida Man doesn’t step through the curtains. He somehow tears them off with his pelvis while dancing his way through them. Dancing along with the music, The Man from Florida swings his tail, but mostly just thrusts his crotch to the sick beat.

Tucker: Parents are hiding their children’s eyes as the challenger makes his way out to the ring. And Andrew, Sir Arthur, what a challenger he is and what a challenge he has to face.

Florida Man stops his thrusting as a golf cart is driven from the back, long enough to climb up on the front. Now madly pelvic thrusting atop this golf cart hood, he rides his way down to ringside.

Torchwood: It’s really very unusual for fans to be cheering on an invader like Florida Man. I make no claims to understand the why of it, but he has certainly proven to have won the hearts of these Wrestle: UK fans.

Fulton: Forget that. Is that Dan Marino driving the golf cart?

Tucker: Leave it alone, Andrew.

Flo climbs into the ring, leaving the golf cart parked in the middle of the ramp.

Salazar: AND HIS OPPONENT!

Salazar: Hailing from Sicily, Italy, and weighing in at 210 lbs! He is the reigning W:UK World Champion! THIS… IS… ERRRROONNN… HUUUUNNNNNNTTTERRR!!!

Pale blue lights shine along the entrance way as Eron Hunter makes his way out, the W:UK World Title around his waist.

Tucker: And there is our champion! Eron Hunter is a very humble and unpretentious man despite his amazing talent, there are never any pyros or laser shows for his entrances. Nothing but one man and his respect for the golden belt around his waist.

Fulton: Dweeb.

Hunter makes his way down to the ring, steps onto the apron. Florida Man steps out of the ring. Not out of respect, just for a quick fried chicken break.

Torchwood: Oh for heaven’s sake…

DING! DING! DING!

Hearing the bell, Florida Man slides into the ring. Hunter stares him down.

Torchwood: Men like Hunter have a high level of respect, almost a reverence, for the sport of professional wrestling. Hunter came up in the Lion’s Road system, and he found his way into Eric Dane’s Hostile Order of Strong Style, and from there to Northern Pro Wrestling. Lion’s Road and HOSS of course were heavily inspired by the King’s Road style of Japanese pro wrestling. And Florida Man, despite being lovable in the eyes of some, didn’t take that road.

Fulton: I mean bro, Flo doesn’t use roads when there’s perfectly good sidewalks and front yards.

The two wrestlers circle each other.

Tucker: Florida Man is a deathmatch wrestler by trade who has picked some high flying up simply by falling off of enough high things over the years, and with his Florida heritage he can brawl with the best of them. Chaos happens around it and he is able to weaponize it, even-

Fulton: DUDE. QUIT TRYING TO CALL A FLORIDA MAN MATCH SERIOUSLY. IT AIN’T HAPPENING!

Hunter finally goes on the attack, throwing roundhouse kicks. A series of them stun Florida Man. Hunter whips him off the ropes and takes him down with a spinning heel kick on the rebound. ONE…Florida Man has his shoulder up very fast, and Hunter immediately has him in a front face lock. Flo thrashes to break the hold but when he gets near the ropes Hunter gator rolls him back to the middle of the ring. And Florida Man gets his feet under him and turns the facelock into a snap suplex! Hunter looks up in a bit of surprise at the smiling gorn mask that hides Florida Man’s face.

Tucker: You can’t even tell if Florida Man took getting gator rolled personally.

Torchwood: Hunter’s wise to try and take a very measured, technical approach to this match, but… I almost think Andrew is right. I haven’t a clue how Florida Man does what he does, and I know for a fact that neither does Florida Man himself.

Hunter throws a kick to the hamstring of Florida Man. He gets to his feet and keeps throwing those low round kicks. Eventually a particularly stiff one takes Flo all the way off his feet. Hunter grabs an ankle and Florida Man kicks madly from his back. Hunter is forced to let go and Flo rolls under the bottom rope and out of the ring. Hunter goes to follow him out and Florida Man - always able to reach into the bag of tricks for something - nails him with a haymaker as he ducks through the ropes!

Tucker: Lightning fast big right hand from Florida Man!

Fulton: Was that supposed to be Kira’s Jaw Breaker, or just a punch?

Hunter spills out of the ring and lands on the apron. Florida Man pulls him the rest of the way to the outside and… bites him with that gorn mask! Hunter howls. A push from behind sends Hunter crashing ribs first into the guardrail and Florida Man follows him in with an elbow to the back of the head! Hunter flips over the guardrail and into the stands and of course Florida Man just follows him. He steals a fan’s beer for a quick refreshment before “biting” Hunter again. Then Florida Man removes a fan from his purchased seat and scoop slams Hunter onto the seat of the chair! With Hunter awkwardly balanced on the chair, Florida gets a different chair, leaps off it and hits a flying buttsplash.

Tucker: The ref is not counting either man out despite this match not being officially no count out. When dealing with Florida Man you have to just roll with it.

Fulton: Yep. And if you don’t it’ll gator roll you, and you Will. Not. Like it.

As Florida Man walks around - a normal wrestler might be working the kinks out of his legs but Flo isn’t normal - Hunter kicks the two chairs out of the way. By the time Flo comes back towards him Hunter has his senses squared up. He thrust kicks Florida Man in the gut, keeps spinning with the kick and roundhouse kicks him in the back of the head! Hunter immediately throws Florida Man back over the guardrail. Picking him up, Hunter slams Florida Man back first into the ring apron. With Flo slumped against the apron and his chest and ribs unprotected, Hunter unleashes a bevy of roundhouse kicks. Now pushing Flo’s legs up onto the apron so he’s lying on it, Hunter unleashes an abisagiri (front flip heel kick)!

Torchwood: I don’t necessarily understand why Hunter needed to flip before he hit Florida Man in the face, but it was a nasty strike with nowhere for Flo to recoil.

Hunter slingshots over the ropes with an elbow to reenter the ring. He hooks the leg. ONE… and Florida Man’s out in about 1.5. Hunter grabs Florida Man by the ankle again, and this time is ready when Flo bicycle kicks madly rather than trying to counter technically. He uses the momentum of one overly extended kick to flip Flo onto his front and sink in a half crab! Near the ropes but facing away from them, Florida Man’s in a terrible position. The gator man yells. Screams. Roars. Feeling his grip slipping Hunter drops the hold, keeps his grip on the ankle and gives Florida Man a stomp to the hamstring.

Fulton: He sure is doing that King’s Road Big Match thing.

Hunter moves into a side kneebar. He even tries to keep it locked in the technical way, by bracing his foot against the back of Florida Man’s other knee - you know, the one not in the hold. Flo is able to get his hands on that foot, and bite it! Hunter drops the hold, kicks him loose, and complains to the referee.

Tucker: I sympathize with Hunter’s frustrations, but the ref isn’t going to end a match this big on a disqualification over a bite.

Hunter moves back on Florida Man. He starts to pick him up off the mat, and Flo goozles him around the neck with both hands! The ref tries to warn him, Hunter tries to boot Flo loose, and as the ref gets in between them to try and force a break right as Flo tries to turn it into a takedown, and the wrestlers and the ref all end up on the mat in a ridiculous pile.

Most of the fans are cheering their heads off, but there are some scattered boos.

Fulton: So, seriously, I kinda expected the fans to boo Florida Man some because he’s not the home promotion guy. And I wouldn’t’ve been surprised if we’d had some XHF over W:UK loyalists who cheered Florida Man. But it seems almost like we’ve got the fans split down on which ones want a World of Sport style technical match and which ones like the Floridan insanity.

Torchwood: And although Hunter is a crowd pleaser at heart, he’s probably mentally prepared to stick to his gameplan even if some fans don’t like it.

The ref manages to get out from between the wrestlers as Hunter monkey flips Florida Man who lands on one knee and one hand with the other arm back behind him and pointing at the sky in a pose. But when Hunter moves in on him he almost sproings off the mat with a flipping back kick that catches Hunter in the face.

Tucker: Miami Dolphin Kick!

Hunter isn’t knocked down but staggered, and Florida Man clotheslines Hunter over the ropes. This time Hunter rolls and comes to a stop right in front of the golf cart! Before Hunter can collect himself, Florida Man springboards to the top rope, and then leaps off. It looks almost graceful for just a few seconds, before he crashlands on Lynx in something that looks like it combines the worst part of a swanton and a cannonball. Honestly it’s a miracle he didn’t break both their necks.

Torchwood: What in blazes WAS THAT?

Tucker: Leap of faith, maybe?

Florida Man is up slowly and he backs off. Hunter starts slowly getting to his feet. He uses the golf cart for leverage (Dan Marino is long gone), and isn’t ready when Florida Man launches himself feet first! Hunter is knocked backwards up the hood of the golf cart and into the front seats upside down! Florida Man slides backwards down the hood comically and lands on his head, but of course it doesn’t bother him. He gets up and starts trying to pull Hunter out of the golf cart. Hunter doesn’t seem to want to leave it for some reason. Florida Man pulls again - and Hunter comes up holding a familiar looking red and white striped bucket that he slams down on Florida Man’s head!

Florida Man, the bucket on his head, stumbles around swinging as fried chicken comically falls around him. Then he steps on a drumstick and goes ass over teakettle.

Torchwood: *displeased Bri’ish mumbling*

Hunter runs his hand through his hair and down his face, clearly frustrated. You’ve got to fight fire with fire sometimes, but this is not what he wanted out of his first title defense. He pulls the still headbucketed Florida Man up to his feet, rolls him into the ring. As Florida Man gets to his knees Hunter lands a roundhouse kick. It sends the chicken bucket flying and Florida Man leaning back while on his knees. Hunter goes for a follow up kick, but just before he throws it Florida Man slumps over in a pile. Hunter goes for the cover… BIGGEST PACKAGE! ONE… TWO… THREEEKICKOUT!

Hunter is up with a distinct look of anger on his face and he rushes in and cleans Florida Man’s clock with a shining wizard!

And Florida Man and his freshly cleaned clock respond with the kind of punch you can only unleash by holding down the triangle button for exactly 3.47 seconds and releasing it while rotating the left analogue stick 360 degrees!

Tucker: OH my GOD!

Hunter is in a heap by the ropes. Florida Man lies on his belly not unlike a gator basking on a river bank.

Salazar: FIFTEEN MINUTES have gone by! There are five minutes left in the match!

Hunter slowly begins collecting himself. Florida Man begins stirring. The ref isn’t trying to count either man down.

The fans are screaming and stomping as both men painfully, achingly, bit by bit pull themselves to their feet. Hunter is panting and the strain on his face is clearly visible. Even Florida Man’s gorn mask looks like it’s in pain. Seriously, one of those Hunter roundhouse kicks did a number on it.

Florida Man is the first to charge.

Hunter throws a roundhouse kick, but Flo ducks it and keeps going, between the ropes to the apron.

He turns around and springboards in.

Hunter leaps with a jumping roundhouse and catches him right out of the air!

Wasting no time, Hunter starts wrapping Florida Man up in a standing cradle, but Florida Man headbutts his way loose! Florida Man throws a wild haymaker that goes nowhere near Hunter and spins him around. Hunter runs the ropes, spins, right as Florida Man spins right through and delivers another haymaker!

Tucker: Phantom Punch! White Tiger Lariat!

Florida Man’s punch lands first. But he threw so much momentum into that punch that even if Hunter is poleaxed by it, he (Florida Man) isn’t able to even attempt a counter, and Hunter’s lariat connects with an off balance Florida Man!

Torchwood: Both competitors are down in the ring! The ref is going to start a count.

ONE…! TWO…! THREE…!

Both men are just barely stirring.

FOUR…! FIVE…!

DING! DING! DING!

Fulton: Wait, what? Why’d the bell ring?

Salazar: Ladies and gentlemen, the time limit has expired! This match concludes as a draw!

Fulton: WHAAAAT?!

BBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
LET THEM FIGHT!! LET THEM FIGHT!! LET THEM FIGHT!!!

Tucker: The fans aren’t happy about it, but this match is a time limit draw!

Torchwood: Time Limit Draws were once very traditional in title matches, but they’re quite uncommon in the sport nowadays and our fans aren’t happy.

Fulton: Nuts to them, we’ll just put these two back in the ring again on pay per view some time with no time limit and they’ll have to pay to see it! It’s win win! Or lose lose. Or, fuck, I dunno, something.

Tucker: Hunter wants to keep going, but the ref can’t restart the match without permission from Frank Wormwood and I don’t believe he’s going to be able to get it.

Fulton: We gotta go y’all! Network’s yelling at us!

After New Years Brawl, the screen is black. There is rustling and creaking in the darkness, and a chorus of whispers mutters unseen. Suddenly a match is struck and burns slowly gleaming on something metal in the shadows. A hissing rasping voice sings off key, whispering the words as the chorus of voices fades off as the voice rises cold and mocking.

Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion….

The match goes out, and there is a chorus of hissing and rasping laughter.

Then silence.

2024