The power of the collective
Jan 8, 2024 15:20:15 GMT -5
flo and "The High Roller" Wesley Crane like this
Post by Rage and Cage on Jan 8, 2024 15:20:15 GMT -5
“Woke” Wesley Rage and Nicolas H. Cage walking through the lobby of Turning Stone casino after a great beginning to 2024.
Cage: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, MY FRIEND!
Rage: Champion Gluck fuckers!
They bump fists.
Cage: We’re bringing the tag titles back to the High Rollers Club! Don’t know how, don’t know wheeeeeennnnnnnn!
Rage: And before that, Wesley Crane is bringing the Two Kingdoms title to the HRC!
Cage: Dude, you forgot your last name. Happens to me all the time, but wanted to let you know.
Rage: I didn’t make a mistake. I have decided to fully support Crane in the hardcore battle royal.
Cage: Whoa, that’s big news!
Rage: Hey, I’m a communist. Empowering the collective is what I do. What’s good for the HRC is good for us all.
Cage: That’s big of you, bro. It’s just like how I’ve decided to not be considered for an Oscar in order to give other dudes a shot. It’s a classy gesture.
Rage: No doubt. Besides, I’m all about Rage and Cage. The tag titles are the only titles I care about because it means wrestling with my brother.
Cage: Me too, dude!
They reach the HRC private elevator. Rage inserts his special HRC key to activate it. He presses the button for Crane’s private suite. This causes the screen to come alive with the face of Henderson.
Henderson: You are requesting a stop at Mr. Crane’s suite. Since neither one of you are “10s or higher” by the Wesley Crane Bangability Scale, you’ll have to provide a good reason to enter his suite.
Rage: I want to talk to him about the Two Kingdoms battle royal.
Henderson: That sounds like appropriate business…
Cage: Hey, Henderson, tell your mom to stop wearing red and green lipstick around Christmas. My dick was starting to look like the Italian flag.
Henderson: Fuck you, Cage!
The screen shuts off. Rage tries to press the Crane button again, but it’sdisabled differently abled. Rage grumbles and looks at Cage.
Cage: What? Just some good natured ribbing!
Rage: Does he know you’re joking?
Cage: Should he?
Rage shakes his head and presses the button for his own suite. The elevator comes back to life and lifts.
Rage: Guess we’re going to our floor first.
Cage: But if we’re going to the first floor, why are we in the elevator?
Rage: Sometimes you add a real challenge to my life.
Cage: Thanks!
The elevator dings. The doors open. Rage and Cage step out. Rage turns and walks past the door to their suite.
Cage: Where are you going?
Rage: I’m walking up to Crane’s suite, since we can’t use the elevator.
Cage: That’s a lot of work.
Rage: I know…
Cage: Can’t you just call him?
Rage: I like the personal touch. I’m doing something big for the boss, and I want to look him in the eye as I tell him.
Cage: Oh, with the whole letting him win the Two Kingdoms titles?
Rage: Right.
Cage: Because you’re letting him win.
Rage: Right.
Cage: Because you could actually win the whole thing, if you wanted to.
Rage: Right. I don’t want to. Two Kingdoms? Do you know how offensive that is? Assuming the ruler always has to be a man? It’s gross! Also, a monarchy? What about the people? Two Kingdoms is too problematic for me. Crane likes challenges, so he can have it.
Cage: That’s why he likes having me around.
They open the door at the end of the hallway and start climbing the stairs. It winds up being many stories.
Rage: I thought we were right below him.
Cage: Me too.
They finally reach the top only to find there’s no handle on the fire exit door that connects to Wesley Crane’s floor. Rage sighs and pulls out his phone. He makes a call.
Phone: Brrrrrrg…brrrrrrrgggg
Henderson: Hello?
Rage: Can you please let me in?
Henderson: You’re still in the elevator?
Rage: No. We’re at the fire exit door on your floor.
Henderson: Is he still with you?
Rage: …yeah, but he’s sorry. He’s just playing around. You know how he is. Besides, this is important business for Crane.
Henderson: Fine. I’ll let you in.
After a few seconds, the door opens. Henderson lets Rage in. He points behind Cage.
Henderson: What is that?
Cage: What?
Henderson slams the door leaving Cage in the stairwell.
Cage: What is it? Is it this spider?
Rage and Henderson walk into the suite. Wesley Crane has been made aware of the meeting and is sitting on his couch with a drink in hand.
Crane: Okay. I’m here.
Rage: I’ve been thinking about the hardcore battle royal coming up. I’ve decided that we’re best served by combining our power to serve the greater good. That’s why I’m going to help you win the Two Kingdoms title.
Crane takes a drink. In his mind, this was already the plan. If the Woke one wanted to take credit for it, then Crane decided he’d tolerate it.
Crane: Can’t complain about that.
Rage: It’s not like there’s any real competition. WUK really scraped the bottom of the barrel to find some challengers. I think three names on this list are completely made up.
Crane nods as Cage walks into the suite.
Rage: How’d you get in?
Cage: Mr. Crane gave me an override key to get it.
Rage: Then why didn’t you tell that to me in the elevator?
Cage: You didn’t ask.
Rage: Anyway, the JROK side doesn’t seem too impressive. I’ve only heard of Florida Man. I think he’s the best they got.
Cage: Isn’t he also defending the tag titles?
Rage: He’s everywhere. We’ll wreck him in the battle royal. Soften him up for the Dark Stars or, if they survive, a rematch with us.
((This is open for Crane to respond to, if he wants))
Cage: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, MY FRIEND!
Rage: Champion Gluck fuckers!
They bump fists.
Cage: We’re bringing the tag titles back to the High Rollers Club! Don’t know how, don’t know wheeeeeennnnnnnn!
Rage: And before that, Wesley Crane is bringing the Two Kingdoms title to the HRC!
Cage: Dude, you forgot your last name. Happens to me all the time, but wanted to let you know.
Rage: I didn’t make a mistake. I have decided to fully support Crane in the hardcore battle royal.
Cage: Whoa, that’s big news!
Rage: Hey, I’m a communist. Empowering the collective is what I do. What’s good for the HRC is good for us all.
Cage: That’s big of you, bro. It’s just like how I’ve decided to not be considered for an Oscar in order to give other dudes a shot. It’s a classy gesture.
Rage: No doubt. Besides, I’m all about Rage and Cage. The tag titles are the only titles I care about because it means wrestling with my brother.
Cage: Me too, dude!
They reach the HRC private elevator. Rage inserts his special HRC key to activate it. He presses the button for Crane’s private suite. This causes the screen to come alive with the face of Henderson.
Henderson: You are requesting a stop at Mr. Crane’s suite. Since neither one of you are “10s or higher” by the Wesley Crane Bangability Scale, you’ll have to provide a good reason to enter his suite.
Rage: I want to talk to him about the Two Kingdoms battle royal.
Henderson: That sounds like appropriate business…
Cage: Hey, Henderson, tell your mom to stop wearing red and green lipstick around Christmas. My dick was starting to look like the Italian flag.
Henderson: Fuck you, Cage!
The screen shuts off. Rage tries to press the Crane button again, but it’s
Cage: What? Just some good natured ribbing!
Rage: Does he know you’re joking?
Cage: Should he?
Rage shakes his head and presses the button for his own suite. The elevator comes back to life and lifts.
Rage: Guess we’re going to our floor first.
Cage: But if we’re going to the first floor, why are we in the elevator?
Rage: Sometimes you add a real challenge to my life.
Cage: Thanks!
The elevator dings. The doors open. Rage and Cage step out. Rage turns and walks past the door to their suite.
Cage: Where are you going?
Rage: I’m walking up to Crane’s suite, since we can’t use the elevator.
Cage: That’s a lot of work.
Rage: I know…
Cage: Can’t you just call him?
Rage: I like the personal touch. I’m doing something big for the boss, and I want to look him in the eye as I tell him.
Cage: Oh, with the whole letting him win the Two Kingdoms titles?
Rage: Right.
Cage: Because you’re letting him win.
Rage: Right.
Cage: Because you could actually win the whole thing, if you wanted to.
Rage: Right. I don’t want to. Two Kingdoms? Do you know how offensive that is? Assuming the ruler always has to be a man? It’s gross! Also, a monarchy? What about the people? Two Kingdoms is too problematic for me. Crane likes challenges, so he can have it.
Cage: That’s why he likes having me around.
They open the door at the end of the hallway and start climbing the stairs. It winds up being many stories.
Rage: I thought we were right below him.
Cage: Me too.
They finally reach the top only to find there’s no handle on the fire exit door that connects to Wesley Crane’s floor. Rage sighs and pulls out his phone. He makes a call.
Phone: Brrrrrrg…brrrrrrrgggg
Henderson: Hello?
Rage: Can you please let me in?
Henderson: You’re still in the elevator?
Rage: No. We’re at the fire exit door on your floor.
Henderson: Is he still with you?
Rage: …yeah, but he’s sorry. He’s just playing around. You know how he is. Besides, this is important business for Crane.
Henderson: Fine. I’ll let you in.
After a few seconds, the door opens. Henderson lets Rage in. He points behind Cage.
Henderson: What is that?
Cage: What?
Henderson slams the door leaving Cage in the stairwell.
Cage: What is it? Is it this spider?
Rage and Henderson walk into the suite. Wesley Crane has been made aware of the meeting and is sitting on his couch with a drink in hand.
Crane: Okay. I’m here.
Rage: I’ve been thinking about the hardcore battle royal coming up. I’ve decided that we’re best served by combining our power to serve the greater good. That’s why I’m going to help you win the Two Kingdoms title.
Crane takes a drink. In his mind, this was already the plan. If the Woke one wanted to take credit for it, then Crane decided he’d tolerate it.
Crane: Can’t complain about that.
Rage: It’s not like there’s any real competition. WUK really scraped the bottom of the barrel to find some challengers. I think three names on this list are completely made up.
Crane nods as Cage walks into the suite.
Rage: How’d you get in?
Cage: Mr. Crane gave me an override key to get it.
Rage: Then why didn’t you tell that to me in the elevator?
Cage: You didn’t ask.
Rage: Anyway, the JROK side doesn’t seem too impressive. I’ve only heard of Florida Man. I think he’s the best they got.
Cage: Isn’t he also defending the tag titles?
Rage: He’s everywhere. We’ll wreck him in the battle royal. Soften him up for the Dark Stars or, if they survive, a rematch with us.
((This is open for Crane to respond to, if he wants))