A Medical Warning. [RP #2]
Jan 13, 2024 0:22:28 GMT -5
flo and "The High Roller" Wesley Crane like this
Post by Preston Reese on Jan 13, 2024 0:22:28 GMT -5
A hospital room is revealed, a machine beeping in the dim light as a figure reclines on the bed. It is apparently ‘Honest’ Nic Cage in a fake beard, he looks to be in pain grimacing as beside the bed stands a very serious looking ‘Woke’ Wesley Rage in a fat suit with a fake beard. Across the bed wearing a lab coat with a stethoscope is Crane. Crane looks up very slowly, and flips a paper on his clipboard.
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: I am sorry. Mr. Gluck. Your brother’s testicles however small have been crushed by the devastating kick dealt by Preston Reese.
Nic Cage wails pitifully, wiping at his eyes as he tugs at his fake beard before Crane smacks his hands away. Rage shakes his head, and grabs his hand.
’Woke’ Wesley Rage: Even if you have no balls, I will still call you my brother! We came from the same Gluck!
Nic Cage grabs at his hand, and grimaces.
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: Charlton, don’t go to Saskatoon and fight Reese! He’s too handsome, too good, too rich, he is everything we are not being simple folk from the noble mud of Mississippi! He will crush your balls too!
Crane covered his mouth, and tried not to laugh.
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: Your brother may have also taken some damage to his brain from the Starkiller. He now reads at a fifth grade level, and says Gluck to everything.
Rage gasped, and then shrugged.
’Woke’ Wesley Rage: No, he has always been that way. He’s not the smartest Gluck around these parts, though he is smarter than me! But that doesn’t matter I have to defend the honor of the Gluck name!
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: Yes! Who can forget such famous Glucks as Jebediah Gluck who ran away from the Battle of Little Big Horn!
’Woke’ Wesley Rage: Or Zebulon Gluck who drowned when he walked into the Mississippi drunk.
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: Or Horatio Gluck who choked a chicken!
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: You mean choked on a chicken?
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: I said what I said!
’Woke’ Wesley Rage: Even though I mean leave Saskatoon less of a man even then when I entered, even though Reese will likely kill me! I. Charlton Chew Chew Gluck have no choice but to face him!
Cage grabbed at his brother’s arm, looking distressed as Crane once more tried to not laugh. He waved a hand before Warrick walked over, also wearing a lab coat as he looked between the pair dressed as Glucks.
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: My colleague Dr. Warrick will tell you the risks of facing Preston Reese!
Everyone looked at Warrick.
Warrick: Charlton, if you face Preston Reese? You are going to need surgery to have the foot removed from your ass. You will need a team of surgeons to repair your face, which frankly you may already need!
Crane nodded, and Cage as Chapps howled in dread. Rage frowned, tugging on his beard.
’Woke’ Wesley Rage: I must overcome my terror! I have to win one for the Glucker!
Warrick shrugged, muttering deadpan.
Warrick: Your funeral.
Crane lost it, doubling over as he tried to stop laughing. Cage covered his own face, trying to not laugh as Rage looked away. Warrick meanwhile rolled his eyes, and walked off scene. Crane wiped at his eyes, and looked up.
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: If you face Reese, I must warn you it will take years off your career! It will be against medical advice!
Reese: CUT!
Reese walked into the scene, and he high fived Crane and Rage. He ignored the hand of Cage, who shrugged before he glared at the camera. A hand dragged through his pale blonde hair, and he sneered.
Reese: All jokes aside, Charlton if your big ass shows up in Saskatoon which is almost as stupid as a name as Gluckville, Mississippi? I will put your ass right in a hospital like this! I will beat your ass so bad that your brother will miss the Two Kingdoms battle royal!
Because he will be too busy at the hospital selling your family farm to pay the bill!
Rage spoke up, pulling off his beard.
’Woke’ Wesley Rage: I don’t know if they do that in Canada, they are much more progressive than –
Reese rolled his eyes.
Reese: Good, because we know the Glucks are used to being taken care of! The Government, Us, Ronnie Long, and now they are LD’s problem! Charlton look at me! I am everything you could never be! Second Generation Wrestler! My father is one of the biggest stars of all time! Do you understand that?
I have made tv shows, I have been in movies! You have spent your life slogging in the mud! You’re just Mississippi trash! And when I am done with you in Saskatoon? You and your piece of shit brother can crawl onto that airplane with your gear in trash bags! And you can fuck off back in business class back to Gluckville!
Maybe you can go fight Salt and Pepper, or the Dark Stars! Someone you have a hope of beating, kid!
Because me? The High Rollers? We’re above you! Beyond you!
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: I am sorry. Mr. Gluck. Your brother’s testicles however small have been crushed by the devastating kick dealt by Preston Reese.
Nic Cage wails pitifully, wiping at his eyes as he tugs at his fake beard before Crane smacks his hands away. Rage shakes his head, and grabs his hand.
’Woke’ Wesley Rage: Even if you have no balls, I will still call you my brother! We came from the same Gluck!
Nic Cage grabs at his hand, and grimaces.
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: Charlton, don’t go to Saskatoon and fight Reese! He’s too handsome, too good, too rich, he is everything we are not being simple folk from the noble mud of Mississippi! He will crush your balls too!
Crane covered his mouth, and tried not to laugh.
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: Your brother may have also taken some damage to his brain from the Starkiller. He now reads at a fifth grade level, and says Gluck to everything.
Rage gasped, and then shrugged.
’Woke’ Wesley Rage: No, he has always been that way. He’s not the smartest Gluck around these parts, though he is smarter than me! But that doesn’t matter I have to defend the honor of the Gluck name!
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: Yes! Who can forget such famous Glucks as Jebediah Gluck who ran away from the Battle of Little Big Horn!
’Woke’ Wesley Rage: Or Zebulon Gluck who drowned when he walked into the Mississippi drunk.
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: Or Horatio Gluck who choked a chicken!
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: You mean choked on a chicken?
Nicholas “Honest” Cage: I said what I said!
’Woke’ Wesley Rage: Even though I mean leave Saskatoon less of a man even then when I entered, even though Reese will likely kill me! I. Charlton Chew Chew Gluck have no choice but to face him!
Cage grabbed at his brother’s arm, looking distressed as Crane once more tried to not laugh. He waved a hand before Warrick walked over, also wearing a lab coat as he looked between the pair dressed as Glucks.
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: My colleague Dr. Warrick will tell you the risks of facing Preston Reese!
Everyone looked at Warrick.
Warrick: Charlton, if you face Preston Reese? You are going to need surgery to have the foot removed from your ass. You will need a team of surgeons to repair your face, which frankly you may already need!
Crane nodded, and Cage as Chapps howled in dread. Rage frowned, tugging on his beard.
’Woke’ Wesley Rage: I must overcome my terror! I have to win one for the Glucker!
Warrick shrugged, muttering deadpan.
Warrick: Your funeral.
Crane lost it, doubling over as he tried to stop laughing. Cage covered his own face, trying to not laugh as Rage looked away. Warrick meanwhile rolled his eyes, and walked off scene. Crane wiped at his eyes, and looked up.
“The High Roller” Wesley Crane: If you face Reese, I must warn you it will take years off your career! It will be against medical advice!
Reese: CUT!
Reese walked into the scene, and he high fived Crane and Rage. He ignored the hand of Cage, who shrugged before he glared at the camera. A hand dragged through his pale blonde hair, and he sneered.
Reese: All jokes aside, Charlton if your big ass shows up in Saskatoon which is almost as stupid as a name as Gluckville, Mississippi? I will put your ass right in a hospital like this! I will beat your ass so bad that your brother will miss the Two Kingdoms battle royal!
Because he will be too busy at the hospital selling your family farm to pay the bill!
Rage spoke up, pulling off his beard.
’Woke’ Wesley Rage: I don’t know if they do that in Canada, they are much more progressive than –
Reese rolled his eyes.
Reese: Good, because we know the Glucks are used to being taken care of! The Government, Us, Ronnie Long, and now they are LD’s problem! Charlton look at me! I am everything you could never be! Second Generation Wrestler! My father is one of the biggest stars of all time! Do you understand that?
I have made tv shows, I have been in movies! You have spent your life slogging in the mud! You’re just Mississippi trash! And when I am done with you in Saskatoon? You and your piece of shit brother can crawl onto that airplane with your gear in trash bags! And you can fuck off back in business class back to Gluckville!
Maybe you can go fight Salt and Pepper, or the Dark Stars! Someone you have a hope of beating, kid!
Because me? The High Rollers? We’re above you! Beyond you!
