Post by flo on Jan 15, 2024 19:27:18 GMT -5
Holding.
Florida Man sits with his lawyer, Gazoo, the green painted dwarf.
Gazoo:
Pretty sure we can get them to throw out liquor store robberies 3 through 10, as they all occurred at the same store, the same day, occasionally while officers were on the scene for your previous attempts.
Florida Man:
They were really surprised the third time.
Gazoo:
I bet they were... the 15th charge...
Opening a dossier, legal counsel flips it around - pointing to a specific area of the report. Since Gazoo gets his healthy glow from green hi lighters, the colourful fingerprints really make the passage pop.
Gazoo:
However... they have you on tape. That will be hard to beat, Flo.
Florida Man:
Looks like I really messed up this time.
Gazoo:
Don't worry, Flo. I charge by the hour.
Florida Man:
I'm not - just need me one of them do overs.
Reaching across the table, Florida Man takes Gazoo's cellphone and starts punching in numbers.
Gazoo:
Who are you-?
Florida Man:
I got these friends - time travelling gladiators - we beat up some degenerate gamblers a while back. Swell fellas-
Gazoo:
The Dark Stars?
Florida Man:
Yeah... so I'll just get 'em to travel back in time, and warn younger me... how to not get caught. (checking phone) Huh, it's busy.
Gazoo:
They have a lot on their plate this week.
Florida Man:
What could be more important than helping out a buddy?
Gazoo:
They have a tag team title shot.
Florida Man:
Good for them. What fed?
Gazoo:
WUK.
Florida Man:
Oh that's me. Wait, they want me and Marty's tag belts? Nah, we already defended against the Dark Stars- unless...
Gazoo:
Unless?
Florida Man:
They knew I needed to go into the past to commit the crime of the century against Al's Hard Liquor........ but they took me so far into the past, I have to defend the tag titles against them again. Whose DO OVER is this? I know the Dark Stars are me and mostly Marty's besties, but when I successfully defend again this time - Imma give those guys a piece of my mind.
With that the Floridian rises.
Gazoo:
Where are you going, Flo?
Florida Man:
Gaz, this is the past - there are no charges yet.
With that, your friendly neighbourhood gets up and walks out of jail believing that he's in a different time period. FML escapes most prisons that way.
Florida Man sits with his lawyer, Gazoo, the green painted dwarf.
Gazoo:
Pretty sure we can get them to throw out liquor store robberies 3 through 10, as they all occurred at the same store, the same day, occasionally while officers were on the scene for your previous attempts.
Florida Man:
They were really surprised the third time.
Gazoo:
I bet they were... the 15th charge...
Opening a dossier, legal counsel flips it around - pointing to a specific area of the report. Since Gazoo gets his healthy glow from green hi lighters, the colourful fingerprints really make the passage pop.
Gazoo:
However... they have you on tape. That will be hard to beat, Flo.
Florida Man:
Looks like I really messed up this time.
Gazoo:
Don't worry, Flo. I charge by the hour.
Florida Man:
I'm not - just need me one of them do overs.
Reaching across the table, Florida Man takes Gazoo's cellphone and starts punching in numbers.
Gazoo:
Who are you-?
Florida Man:
I got these friends - time travelling gladiators - we beat up some degenerate gamblers a while back. Swell fellas-
Gazoo:
The Dark Stars?
Florida Man:
Yeah... so I'll just get 'em to travel back in time, and warn younger me... how to not get caught. (checking phone) Huh, it's busy.
Gazoo:
They have a lot on their plate this week.
Florida Man:
What could be more important than helping out a buddy?
Gazoo:
They have a tag team title shot.
Florida Man:
Good for them. What fed?
Gazoo:
WUK.
Florida Man:
Oh that's me. Wait, they want me and Marty's tag belts? Nah, we already defended against the Dark Stars- unless...
Gazoo:
Unless?
Florida Man:
They knew I needed to go into the past to commit the crime of the century against Al's Hard Liquor........ but they took me so far into the past, I have to defend the tag titles against them again. Whose DO OVER is this? I know the Dark Stars are me and mostly Marty's besties, but when I successfully defend again this time - Imma give those guys a piece of my mind.
With that the Floridian rises.
Gazoo:
Where are you going, Flo?
Florida Man:
Gaz, this is the past - there are no charges yet.
With that, your friendly neighbourhood gets up and walks out of jail believing that he's in a different time period. FML escapes most prisons that way.